My young niece was running on a dock. I told her to slow down because the water was mucky, and if she fell in, it would be difficult to pull her out. A few minutes later that very thing happened. She tripped a little bit and fell in. I had no time to put the proverbial oxygen mask on my myself first. I was able to reach in just before her head went under, and with all of my strength, I pulled her out of the water and the muck and back onto the dock. I immediately began holding her and rocking her while she cried. She was five years old. Her brother was there and shortly after she started crying he told her it was enough and to stop. He was eight years old at the time. I had not chastised her, I had not told her she was wrong, or that she had been bad or that she should stop crying. I only rocked her, holding her close while she cried. When her brother told her to stop, she did stop momentarily, and she stared at him. I told her that it was OK for her to keep crying. I looked at him and told him she’s done when she says she’s done and no sooner. She had started crying again, but when I said those words, she began heaving and trembling, and sucking air a little bit, and then she just stopped and after that she was OK. I neither pointed out to her that none of it would’ve happened if she had been more careful nor did I remind her that I told her to be more careful. I did reiterate afterwards that when we’re having feelings in the moment that the best thing we can do most of the time is to allow ourselves to have those natural expressions until we feel done.
Los traumas de infancia siempre son complicados. En mi caso hablo de una forma increíblemente difícil de entender. Si bien siempre tuve problemas de articulación al hablar desde niño todo empeoró cuando un profesor me sermoneo por gritarle de lejos a mi madre, que había ido de visita a mí colegio, para que pudiese verme. Aquello ocurrió cuando tenía entre 6 o 7 años. Aunque si me concentro puedo hablar de una forma en que se puede entender y gracias a ello puedo llevar una vida a mí entender normal. Después de todo siempre hay solución a la gran mayoría de los problemas.
Great interview, thank you. What is the name of the brazilian student who help the kid walking again?? I'd like to learn more of what the student may have done to the child.
What psychiatrist EVER teaches a parent this??? I could write books about the impotency of my health care system as I was BEGGING the system to help ME help my child. NO HELP WHATSOEVER- EVER.
