ECT 22 Month Update 

Thanks for posting Jenny - keep going, it worked for you before it will work again. ( I start ECT next Friday )

the question: during ECT did you stop taking your SSRI or antidepressants. are you currently taking antidepressants

Stay strong. I haven't started ECT yet but your videos are really helping me understand :)

I too feel so bad about your struggles lately. I myself can relate SO MUCH to what you were saying at the beginning of the video with regards to work. It's so difficult feeling so anxious and hard on ourselves as we try and work. So many job opportunities have passed by me due to my anxiety/depression. I had a total of 7 rounds ( I think ) of ECT as well. I really hope your doctor can work to help you in looking for other treatment options.

Hi Jenny, I've been following your ECT updates, as I'm thinking about getting them done myself. I'm sorry you're not doing well...no one should have to go through this. I remembered you said something about the ECT wavelength (or whatever it's called) in an earlier update. So I went back and watched them again. In your 11th month update at around the 6:20 mark you mention "brief pulse" and "ultrabrief pulse". I don't know if this is the same thing that your Doctors are talking about now, but I just wanted to bring it to your attention, as you appear much better in your videos after your 11 month update! I hope this is helpful, and that they can fine tune whatever it is that made you feel better. Take Care!

Jenny, you saved my life a year ago by giving me the courage to have ECT. I'm so sorry you're struggling again, but you know from experience that the longer pulse helps you. You WILL be okay. You've helped so many people, and we all have your back! So much love to you~~~

I just came across your videos and they've been really really helpful for me. I have anxiety and depression as well and was diagnosed with severe OCD about two years ago. I am a perfectionist like you and have that "all or nothing" tendency which has really brought me down and that was what caused my intense depression. I ended up missing two years of high school because of the depression so I will be a fourth year this coming fall, and I have been considering ECT. My psychologist recommends I become a full time inpatient before trying an invasive procedure like ECT, but I panicked the last time I tried to be an impatient because of the loss of connection with my friends and loved ones and I couldn't go back. My friends are the only reason I am alive right now so being without them would make my world fall apart. I would like to ask your opinion on the use of ECT on a teenager. I'm only 17 but I have been depressed since I was about 12 and I have had anxiety for my whole life. It has really affected me and I have no motivation to do anything anymore and parts of me feel like ECT is the best option but parts of me are scared that it will change me as a person. I'd like to know if you found ECT changed who you are or changed parts of your personality or any changes like that. I really hope that this change in your treatment has been helping you and I'm so glad you've been making these videos to talk to people about this form of treatment.

Sorry to hear you're still in a rough spot. You've got a good head on your shoulders, and I know you'll get a handle on everything soon enough and pull through this. Looking forward to your update next month. Take care!.

I'm sorry that you've been struggling lately. Stay strong, pumpkin and just keep fighting. Don't give up!

My girlfriend is currently going through ECT. Thank you so much for documenting your experience and helping me to understand what she's going through.

20 rounds of ECT did not do it for me, so I am planning to get back into therapy and try new meds, do more exercise. Also I would be open to TMS if I could afford it. Am not employed. It's definitely a daily struggle.

Hi jenny ....I have watched with complete admiration the journey that you have been through...despite all of your difficulties you are so special and inspire sooooo many people all over the world...YOU HAVE SAVED LIFES!!!....not sure if you have explored BUDDA but that helped me quite a bit....keep on going and continue to do all of the GOOD that you are. We need you...the world needs you !! I wish you all the best. Mike UK

I just wanted to say thank you for sharing your experiences and I hope you achieve the results you are after. Cheers

Just found your channel. Thank you for doing it. I'm considering ECT and your honesty has been very encouraging.

Hi Jenny, I'm so sorry to hear you've had a rough time lately. I hope these changes will help you. I started ECT mid-March & have had 12 so far. I've had quite a bit of memory loss and confusion. I don't remember March through May pretty much at all. I'm not sure if ECT is working for me very much. When should I expect to feel a significant change? My treatments are once a week now and the doc is talking about tapering them. I'm afraid I'll have no positive outcome if he does that. He's put me on 40 mg of Adderall to help with my ADD and to help give me energy. I've noticed it helping a bit, but I am still pretty depressed. How much change /improvement can I expect from ECT? Will I be on it forever? I know you're swamped right now, but any advice you could give me, I'd appreciate. Good luck to you and keep fighting.

You are so beautiful and such a nice person. I hope you recover completely (I did, I have been feeling very well for four years now) and thank you for sharing your experience with us.

Hi Jenny, I had about 12 ECT treatments about 4 or 5 months ago. For me, it didn't help and I had bad memory problems and I had a great memory, almost photographic at times. Since then, my memory is much improved, but it's still not where it used to be. I've been diagnosed with bipolar type II, where you're more depressed than manic. For me, I'm depressed the vast majority of the time and I get manic once maybe twice a year, if I'm lucky. Antidepressants don't seem to work. I'm wondering if you found anything that works and if so, would you mind sharing that information. I can't say I've taken every antidepressant out there, but truly, I've taken most of them with no effect. I also have a question...I don't know if this is related to the ECT but it could be. I started having episodes where I have trouble breathing. I have never had this before, but it feels like I'm going to die. I have a little bit of high blood pressure and the blood pressure pills "Atenolol" also seems to help with that. I don't know if I'm truly having a panic attack or it's something else. I get chest pains and well it's the worse I've ever felt physically. I do take a drug called Subutex (Buprenorphine) and it's opiate based. I am only prescribed one 2mg pill per day and I break that up (with a pill cutter) into 4 equal pieces and usually take only half a pill a day or 3/4's of a pill. So I take 1/4 of a pill 2 to 3 times daily. My breathing/panic attacks do seem to get worse the more I take, but I've been taking this drug for about 4 1/2 years. I stopped for a while because my body seemed to change and didn't like the drug. The reason I went back on it, is because it's the ONLY thing that has ever worked for me. The con to this (besides the breathing attacks that may or may not be the cause) is it's addictive. I'm taking a very, very small dose, but still, trying to go off of it....you just feel like your soul is being sucked out of you...it's really bad....sigh. The thing is, before I went back on the Subutex, I tried Vicodin, OxyContin and Xanax. I got addicted to the Oxy, so I went off....that was fairly bad, but not the worse. The thing is, after I was off the Oxy for 2 weeks...this is 2 weeks after I was already off of it. I still had these breathing attacks, so I don't know if it's because of the opiates or not. I just know that before the ECT, I didn't have any breathing attacks and it doesn't seem like opiates would be causing it if I was off any opiates after 2 weeks. Still, I don't know for sure. I will say this though....most people don't have this reaction to opiates. In fact, they are making some new drugs.....2 are in the works, that are opiate based and are also based off Subutex, or rather Buprenorphine, the active ingredient in Subutex. These drugs are made specifically for people who are drug resistant to most antidepressants, targeted specifically for people with depression and/or bipolar or both in some cases. If your depression is really bad, you might want to consider Subutex or ALKS-5461. That's the name of the other drug...just looked it up. It's supposed to be approved by the FDA in 2016. I would bet money that you wouldn't have an adverse reaction to ALKS-5461 or Subutex. I think my body changed because I used to be hooked on Vicodin and at it's worst took up to 100 pills a day. I'm not exaggerating that number either. Ironically, the way I got off the Vicodin was I quit cold turkey. It's not dangerous to stop opiates like that, but can be very painful. The reason I was able to quit is because I believe that's when I had my first and best manic attack. I was very lucky and felt just amazing for about 6 months. Anyway, that went away and I'm at this place in my life now. Unless you've found something that helps you, I really think the ALKS-5461 or Subutex would help you. If you decided you wanted to do this, I'd try the ALKS, but the Subutex works really well, if you're not allergic to it. Just know, if you do this, it's very, VERY hard to stop it; but if you're depression is bad enough, it's certainly worth trying. The thing about Subutex is that it only takes 1 to 2 days to work. You don't have to wait like 2 to 4 weeks like most antidepressants. Sorry, didn't mean to write so much, just had a lot to say. Again, if you've found something that has helped you, I'd really like to know. I'm stuck at a spot where I need to get off the Sub, but it's so hard.

I am so sorry to hear this update. so very very sorry. I was so happy to hear about how well you were doing in your previous video. If you ever need to talk to someone. I have been in recovery with severe mental illness for 7 years now. I have learned a lot about how to care for myself using wellness tools, talk therapy and miconutrition. Again, if you need to talk, please know you are not alone.

Took me two years to admit that i needed help after trying to self medicate, i actually looking for help right now. watching your videos to prepare myself. TBH memory loss will be a blessing to me

What kind of work do you do?

jenny, what do you do for work?

I feel your pain. Trd for 6 years ect etc. It is very much biological. You talk about maintaining a positive thought pattern especially with therapy, but I urge you to not stress so much on trying to maintain a positive thought pattern. All thoughts and feelings should be natural and genuine not forced like how I see you are in this video describing your horrible situation. Bad vices worsen depression. I can tell you are in pain here. It sucks but all we can do is wait.

Hi Jenny Followed all your videos because I can really relate and I've started ECT - only had one session, next one in 2 days! Really hope it helps me? Wish me luck. Yours Toby

You might benefit from an Alphastim or Biotuner BT-7/8. Read some of the studies on the Alpha...it is approved by the Veterans Administration for the treatment of PTSD and depression.

ever tried other therapies besides what psychiatry has to offer?

Are you religious at all?? Do you have a belief in Jesus ?? I know I've had depression an anxiety my whole life and pretty severe.I can tell you it can really help, I will say prayers for you and hope that you realize, You are beautiful and you are special. Im really sorry for the pain you've suffered.Give your pain to Jesus and pray to him for your healing. Here is a small prayer that might help. Dear. Jesus, I lay before you my pain and my sorrow I pray, give to my mind peace. Help me Lord to feel your love all around me. Give me strength daily, In your love, Amen Pray and I will pray for you.

I am curious and would like to know what if any is the relationship between Jesus and the sufferers. I have so much FAITH in Jesus. HE is my healer. I am just asking. Thank you.

Hi Precious Jenny,i hope the next treatments work for you,and your depression,and anxiety gets better as i know what your going threw,and i was going to suggest breathing exercises which might help,and a herb ashawanda a good quality one might also help by bringing the stress level down,keep more videos coming, thank you,😊🦋🧩

I am concerned about the use of words like "doing well" and "feeling bad." What causes you to makes this determination? What or who do you use as a comparison? Why not be exactly who you are? Is condemnation part of the problem? Peace.

Hope you stopped the ECT and had some counselling and talking therapies.