This talk was given at a local TEDx event, produced independently of the TED Conferences. Elvin's ambition is to combat the violence and bullying associated with gender and sexuality among young people.
Elvin, this is one of the most touching videos I've seen about "gender social norms". Congratulations for you high level of discernment (despite your apparent young age) and thank you for sharing. :)
This speaker's speech is so very true. Kids who are highly intelligent and love reading and learning, kids who are Nerds/Geeks, kids who like drama classes, band, and countless other classes and subjects not viewed as the norm, are often targets for, harassment, bullying, etc, not just by classmates, but some times by teachers. There have been cases where, a student who happens to be, atheist, homosexual, or non-Christian, have been told by a teacher or other staff person that, they will burn in hell, have been singled out and punished unfairly. As the speaker points out, we all have our own tables, and learning to except each other's differences will enable our society to be, more peaceful, more cooperative, and much happier. So, whether the person next to you is, tall, short, fat, skinny, smart, not so smart, a jock, a nerd, Strait, Homosexual, fits into one of the stereotypical genders or not, be kind and understanding to one another.
I agree with most of what he's saying except assigning the babies sex, the family would like to know what the babies sex is not their gender, but people are raised to learn that sex and gender are the same exact thing. We may know the sex of the child but it's up for the child to find out what gender they are and what they feel most comfortable with
"Let rapists and pedophiles teach our children?" - the first stupid question that we hear when someone discuss about that topic in russia. - "Of course not!" Stay away from crimes and accept the universe rules of "dont steal", "dont kill", "dont cheat" and help eachothers to live.
Veyr well said. I often think of humanity as a field of flowers, each flower is different in terms of shape, color and other details. Each flower is beautiful because it is unique. Now, are we brave enough to embrace are unicity or do we prefer to hide behind a false wall of illusions defined as normality? I totally agree with you the word normal should be erased from our dictionary.
The best gender speech I've never ear!! Everyone has a table and it's so important to see that. If you help people been there, they will help you to be in your own
It is pretty much asking that we treat everyone EQUALLY, regardless of what body we are born into. If there was more compassion in the world and respect, it would be a better place. Equality amongst the genders is a start
Elvin, I absolutely love your talk and it's powerful and universal loving message. And the clarity, honesty, courage and kindness you spoke with. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for doing this.
No one needs to "come out." Straight kids don't announce their preferences, they just go about their lives. It shouldn't be any different for others. I never "came out," I just lived my life. I never made a deal about it, so neither did anyone else. I never asked permission, which is essentially what someone does when preparing for the speech. If anyone had a problem with who I found attractive, it's their problem, not mine.
Thank you for this Elvin, great talk! I'm studying education in Finland and will definitely pass this video on! Hopefully we'll create a bit more open minded world some day :)
I love this. The table metaphor is amazing and so easy to explain. Also you are a very good speaker, I could listen to your voice all day. I am going to share this as much as possible because people need to hear this.
Thank you so much for this fantastic speech, Elvin! I like the way you express and articulate the different ideas using a lucid and powerful rhetoric. Love, from Argentina
Admit it. U r only telling me this because it has to do with this lgbt subject. If it was a"normal" guy or girl u wouldn't say that humans are animals. You would say that they are human beings. So u are really saying that I am a thing? I don't consider myself as a thing. So how can you say that humans are things?
what about boys or girls that over compensate to prove they are what is expected of there asigned gender, then later on in life, 20, 30, 40, or older, they come out to family and loved ones, but all they know is to act macho or feminine. this is my case inside i feel female out side is totally and obviously male. and its killing me, im 45 and risk losing everything.
I used to be angry too when I was younger than I realized that those people are very weak and terrified to discover who they are. We need to be compassionate and only by standing on tables we can show people that nobody is normal but everybody is unique.
Elvin, I've been translating your ted-talk to my language recently. Just wanted to wish you good luck in your activism and say thank you for sharing this controversial issue with others. You are awesome!!! Ps. I've written a message to you on Facebook but you must have missed it.
This is a really great video for all types of schools and well into college campuses and workplaces -- it is a GREAT video for Ethics training ! The time has come to educate people on people who are different than the way we traditionally view others irregardless of sex, orientation, color and gender. People have to realize that not everyone fits into two boxes -- male and female. And gender is not sex. Everyone has both a sex and a gender. One is between your legs. The other is between your ears... When someone dresses differently than the norm, they are trying to tell you something. They are telling you who they really are deep down inside and we need to accept them as they are in society.
I appreciate very much that you agree with the points made in this video and are obviously pretty well educated on this topic, but one small thing in your comment kind of bothers me. I am not trying to be rude when i say this, but please dont say something like "We have a sex and a gender, one is between our legs and the other between our ears." I do understand sometimes, for medical reasons, we have a male or female box we must be put in for our own health, but generally this everyday idea of 'sex is different than gender' is toxic. This perpetuates the boxes we are put into with gender. For example, a person may be a boy, yet they were assigned the female gender at birth. The one true reason they were assigned this gender is because of their genitalia. Remember, genetalia ≠ gender. Genetalia = sex only when used for health purposes. When someone makes a comment about the gender someone else was assigned at birth, they aren't using it for medical reasons. So to sum it up,don't bring up the sex of a person unless you're a doctor examining this person. (again, i am not trying to be rude) :)
+Joseph S of course i am not going to stop you from saying anything you want, and i am not trying to, but i recently found out the assigned gender at birth someone has isn't even brought up that much for medical purposes. For example, a transgender female, asked their sex, will say they are a transgender female. This means now it is more important to the doctor if the girl is or was on hormones and what hormones they are, rather than their assigned gender at birth. genitals ≠ gender and genitals ≠ sex.
Thanks Elvin for the talk. This topic resonates with me. I have been a gay man for many years and as I am older now, I want to be a kinder to man to all. Last night an older woman had a child. My coworker felt she was the granny, not mother. I made that assumption too, sadly. But lucky for me I caught the mistake and tried to repair the judgement. Today I will listen more to myself about people, and not others wrong judgements. Thanks. Jeff
What I liked: Once you separate gender from personality traits we get closer to having a society that has two things it prospers with: 1) Individuals, and 2) Definitions without consequences for transgressions. The first gives us respect, and the second gives us context. One without the other makes ones choices meaningless in relation to others. What I disliked: 14:26 Perhaps we could educate people again? Perhaps we should just save space and time by... oh I don't know, concentrating them into camps for this RE-education. Who doesn't like to go to camp? A.G.
I feel like I'm so tall, I don't even need a table, I stand out anyways. But like actually I feel like my tables are actually not that far from the ground but standing on all of them, all of them stacked onto each other, they seem way to huge for how small each one is...
11:41 Trying to be normal is not going to make anyone happy. Why spend your life trying to fit into narrow boxes always living up to people's expectations when you could spend it being yourself? It takes a lot of work to get rid of the noise of expectations...and it takes a lifetime to keep them away. WOW YES!
Great idea, Elvin! Thanks. I believe people laugh at new ideas not because they’re against it but they are trying to adjust and aren’t used to it. Sometimes may feel joy at the new ideas.
So ask yourself this question -- what gender was the person who was speaking ? If you aren't sure then please watch the video again and actually pay attention to it.
I think people come to these videos to spread their shit. Please, don't do it. Some of us are not as simple as you are. Some of us understand the complexity of life.
He is good at speaking. I respect people that see him as a girl because he was born a girl but I see a boy. Good talk. I don't care what gender people are as long as you want to look like a gender.
Thank you for helping me be a better sister to my non binary twin. I love them so much and although I can never fully understand I want to be a safe person who they can come to for support and to be seen as who they are.
Here is a thought, let kids be kids. There is no reason to talk kids about this before they hit puberty. This is called grooming. Teach kids to respect other people, not to bully kids that are different and, teach them to stand up for themselves! Talking to young kids about this, will take their innocence. This is Quakery and Dribble.
Jacopo Peterman Nah, doctors can still look at a baby and announce what sex it is, maybe by saying "it's a male!" or "it's a female!" and doing a more in-depth check up a little later, before the baby and mother leave the hospital. Most trans people aren't mad at doctors announcing a baby's sex, just the rigid implications that come with it. Knowing biological sex is important, especially for medical reasons.
Smart kid well prepared, well informed..just as you prepared on this issue according to your own perspective..PREPARE YOURSELF THE SAME WAY ABOUT WHAT GOD THINKS, AND HOW HE CAN HELP YOU
Despite the noble intentions and the moving speech, poor girl... she thinks she's a boy/a man, even looks like one. I don't know why, but sometimes Reality is the most oppressing thing that exists - even worse than bullying and unjust discrimination, which are in fact very bad things. (Sorry, Elvin, but this is MY table)
What exactly is your table? Also, had you actually paid attention, you'd know that he does not think he is a man, but rather that he does not know. Pronouns do not equal gender.
I totally am against this attempt to normalise transgenderism.. note that I have a transgender in my family.. a person that I love and cherish and accept.. why then am I against? because the result is not just clothes.. its lifelong dependancy on pills.. its surgery that is non trivial and dangerous.. and irreversible.. and often this is on teens or young adults.. and guess what.. people change their minds. Before, during and after surgery there is tonnes of mental anguish.. and the person may not be happy with the results. If we were talking about annorexics.. who see themselves in a way that the rest of the world doesn't.. would we all be fawning like idiots to try to accomodate them, or would we lovingly take them to a mirror and show them reality and tell them to learn to deal with it?
Jacopo Peterman but when your laptop is broken you have to show it to a professional so he can fix it. You have to be fixed, your body does not match your mind and you cant work properly.
Why the push for homosexuality and Gender Dysphoria in schools and in Hollywood lately? I do support fighting bullying because it is indeed a danger. However, I get the impression that lately, it is only exposed if sex/gender is involved, when that is truly not the case.
