Fun fact, the tatoos Santa has that look like snowflakes are actual nordic staves, representing "finding your way home"( Vegvisir), and "helm of terror." (Aegishjalmr)
@@shinobi-no-bueno “Along with other symbols, the “vegvísir” came to Iceland most likely from England, where star-shaped symbols can be tracked as early as 15th century, such as “The Solomon's testament” (Harley MS 5596, 31r). The original symbols had their meaning in Christian mysticism.” It has nothing to do with old Norse or Viking traditions.
@@proudsaiyanprince2651 A fair bit of Norse mythos shares or takes it's roots from Christian mythology, such as the golden apples of Idunn (Eden). That doesn't stop it from being Norse. Are you also going to say that since Christian mythos is rooted in Judaic mythology that therefore it's all Judaism? Genuinely curious where you draw the line. Also worth mentioning that in your first comment you said the Vegvisir is from the 18th century, then your quote says the 15th. Which is it?
21:50 The movie that everyone's trying to describe already exists, and it's called Fatman (2020). It stars Mel Gibson as Santa Claus and a little boy is pissed off that Santa gave him coal, so he hires a hit squad to go to the North Pole and kill Santa. And Santa is superhumanly strong (but not like Superman strong, like Spider-Man strong) and has a minor healing ability as well. It's a fun movie and I recommend it.
Hmmm, sorry but not really, that movie is even more boring and way worse than this one, for the first half of the movie nothing happens, Santa is protected by literal military special forces who are somehow completely incompetent, the hitsquad is actually just one guy and he does manage to kill Santa but luckly Santa's strong independent african wife manages to both outsmart and kill the hitman and save Santa, kind of like the scene with the husband and wife here... well actually it is almost the same scene...
Absolutely adore Fatman. Mel Gibson is awesome as a grizzled worn santa. Then how they incorporate the lore was awesome and loved how the story went (trying not to spoil for those that don't know).
Friggin' love that movie. And absolutely heartbroken at how it was 'sold' to the public. It's own marketing practically killed it, the trailers, the tag lines...because Fatman is NOT an action-romp-"santa clause is JOHN WICK OMG!" flick. Fatman is, if a 'santa clause/christmas story' is told through the style of a neo-western. Think 'No Country for Old Men', 'Unforgiven', 'The Mule', or any Taylor Sheridan movies.
The Creepshow Christmas special was more emotionally resonant than any modern Disney film, and that was trying to be a complete joke. If you don't know, it ends with a furry getting married to Lil Yachty after cutting off Santa's head, then a catgirl asks a werewolf if they want to meet up for some sexy time. Love that movie.
It was probably copyrighted and they probably didn’t get permission. I’m assuming it was the Suess estate though because Universal distributed this movie and has the film rights to The Grinch
🙄 No the point is Scrooge became a believer in the end of A Christmas Carol, only this Scrooge is a murderer, so Santa turns his belief against him & uses his belief to boost his chimney power. They set it up earlier that when he was very drunk it tends to fritz. But then when Trudy was right overhead he was close to a believer & that boosted his power & he was able to go up the chimney easily. So later he's not drunk anymore but tired from so much fighting & bleeding, then he realizes the guy has pushed him up near the outdoor fireplace. Santa lets him appear to be winning & get closer to the chimney. He then points out the guy is now a believer, & bam uses the power boost to kill the guy.😂
I just love the legacy feature of DasBoSchitt. Every time he’s on I’m reminded of how amazing his garys mod stuff was, and also how dang long ago it was. A different era. But mauler hired him up. It’s all so nice and cozy.
I think this movie would be drastically improved if after the villain told everyone his sad backstory, one of his henchmen just gave him a look and said "You serious?", to which the villain replies "Nah I'm just kidding, I just want the fucking money"
A movie with a similar concept exists called Fatman (2020) with Mel Gibson, the movie has a different plot but still incorporates some of the things the EFAP crew mentioned in this
1. They brought Surface to Air Missiles and didn't even shoot down the sleigh? 2. No-one would have $300 million in cash, or they should make a joke about inflation burning half of it. 3. The payout dwindles pretty quickly when you hire a dozen mercenaries, snowmobiles, SAM systems... At least in Die Hard 2 it was a whole airport. They wouldn't have needed the mercs when the first group was able to kill the whole security team.
The money was stolen and funneled from the government. So it basically was already cash. Also 300 mil divided by even 20 people is 15mil a person. Granted that it could have been better and had it's own fault
This seemed very tonally inconsistent. Sometimes it wants to be self aware and over the top, but then it immediately tries to be very genuine and cheesy in a way that isn't earned at all.
I think I would do dr jeckle/ Mr. Hyde thing with Santa when he is around violence like this he turns into Krampus and can’t be stopped until morning or something like that
26:25 Imagine if Santa pulled out his beard from under his coat, and it just kept coming and coming, and he'd pull out enough so that it can cover all of him and act as snow camo
@@ThatJediReviews They were annoyed with the movie because it wasted the premise. They wanted it to be more ridiculous instead of spending time with crappy characters.
This isn't terrible but it could have been better. Much like Godzilla movies where you are with humans most of the time, this movie underused Santa and had too much other stuff. Even the fact he's a fucking viking warrior, you could do lots with that, like the reason his suit is red is because of that. That evil goofy elf guy though, he was good, more of him should of been there.
27:30 even better idea; He doesn't get that equipment from his place, but from the main room's huge christmas tree. He does his magic thing he shows at the start, and everything on the tree becomes usable as weapons: *Baubles* used as grenades, *Tinsel* used as razor/barbed wire, *Garlands* used with bells as bomb and tripwire, *Candy canes* used as throwing knives, *Lights* as some kind of drug/booster ampules that makes him much faster/regenerate wounds, *The star* is some kind of homing super grenade he only gets one from the tree and uses on the final vilain as he tries to escape on his heli
the movie would be santa just being doom guy, he's all jolly and happy as he mows down every single one of them because they're on his naughty list and are too old for charcoal, the enemies are actually skilled but can't beat overwhelming unnatural strength with just skill the only reason it's a full-length movie and not a few minutes is that he just walks to the dude because he's still a fat lad and at about half he gets set back by falling down a hole he or the enemies made with a bomb
@@Cuzzys2nd let's crank it up by having an astartes P1+2 homage where santa's in the room with all his equipment and with the hostages, and there's a squad rushing in because they heard action, santa is arms-crossed, watching at a snow globe, enchanted to see what's going on, then he's passing a garland with a bell dangling from it over a rifle he's snatched, then as they reach the door and prepare to ram it open, as the lights are out, they swin open and a hail of santa-buffed bullets spray in, with the strength of bolter shots, ripping limbs and armor easily
The greedy villain burned a sack that could infinitely produce anything. Sure it's random. But infinite things are infinite money. There is no measurement to my disappointment with the "logic" of this film.
They talked about how the main villians codename should have been Krampus. What if at the end it turned out he was ACTUALLY Krampus. That could justify why he's able to take on Santa in a fight. His whole motivation wasn't to steal money but to draw Santa out by attacking a kid on the nice list and wait for him to show up. He's angry because Santa stopped punishing bad kids by giving them coal and now just gives gifts to good kids. Krampus wants to balance things by taking out Santa and take over Christmas so he can just punish bad kids.
1:15:51 - His literal warhammer looks more fragile than just some random sledgehammer he found in the house. I mean... look at the girth on that handle... it's so skinny it looks like it would snap in half if he ever used it. (That's what she said)
And Santa should’ve like referenced krampus as being a real thing early on and then the real super scary demon krampus just like teleports in and carries off one of the bad guys into the woods in order to punish him for eternity and everyone who sees it is just terrified and dumb struck except for Santa who is just completely unmoved bcuz that’s just a real thing to him.
I’m wondering if they could make that work as the death for the final bad guy. Like “Mr. Scrooge” has brought all the family outside like in the original, only now he’s threatening to start executing them if Santa doesn’t stop (basically a Mexican standoff with Santa) but then just as he’s about to shoot Santa or one of the family or it looks like a fight is about to happen, Krampus just shows up out of nowhere and starts whipping him with a cane before popping him into a sack and dragging him screaming off into the night. Everyone is horrified except for a bemused Santa. Then maybe any remaining henchmen are like “oh shit… is this what happens to people on the naughty list” and just drop their guns.
i find the complaint that the backstory part being too much a bad complaint, because i think if they did what rags asked for and just showed that single flash of a guy in a viking helm, they would complain uit wasnt clear enough and too unexplained
I think the version in the movies is still lame though cos it's " I used to be bad and used a hammer" just so they could set up him using a sledge hammer which as they said isn't Christmasy at all. If they wanted to go with the biking backstory they should have made it something like a cane with a sword hidden in it or something Christmas related lol
What you've said doesn't make any sense, it's literally contradicted in the video. They immediately go 'oh that's cool, imagine if this is all we're shown? we know it won't be but that'd be neat'. Your comment is bad and you should feel bad.
I really think that the Nordic origin flashback should have been a bit of a throw away gag. Go down the route of Santa being reluctant to fight at first but then gets pushed to completely annihilating the bad guys when he sees a child in danger (the typical retired veteran back for one last job type schtick) Then have someone comment about how does he know how to fight like that, and have it zoom into Santa's memory of butchering people with a hammer while laughing hysterically and revelling in blood (maybe even have him holding a sack but it's full of heads), before smash cut back to him looking horrified and just saying 'nevermind'. Still acts as a nod to world building and justification as to why he's a badass, but keep it as a joke, rather than take it too seriously. EDIT: Also, on the note of utilising the sack more, and pulling out more presents that could be used as weapons, they really missed a trick on not getting super creative by having Santa makeshift weaponry from whatever he can find. Have him makeshift a bomb from a chemistry set and some LEGO and then deliver it via a remote controlled car. Maybe there's a 'secret agent spy toy' type thing he could use to listen in on the bad guys (or even find a way to make that the whole walkie-talkie thing with the kid). Hell, they could even do the 'molotov cocktail' gag they referenced in the film! Just have some new shitty RU-vidrs energy drink all the kids are asking for turn out to be highly flammable and use that. They could have even done some sort of cruel, ironic death for one of the bad guys, like they get brutally killed by one of the toys they really wanted as a kid (or something related to it). So many options with this film, and they did barely any :(
Showing the majority of the movie from santas PoV would've been much better having seen the whole thing, would've made the film cheaper to make too. The elf bad guy was the only other interesting person in the movie and probably would've been better as the leader instead of Luigi. Fatman is probably closer to what you were asking for in this.
I saw this at the cinema and felt disappointed bit wasn't really sure why. Kinda comparing it to Rebel Moon with a bunch of ripped off ideas but no real new ideas.
Maybe the little girl needs to frantically write a Christmas letter to Santa asking for useful items so they appear in Santa's sack. "I've been a good girl all year, and would really like some nunchucks."
I thought the movie was fun, but y'all are right. It could have been much better. Probably only thought so highly of it because I was in an absolute drought of good films.
I was expecting a different payoff with the funny gunman with the hostages. That Santa meets them and recognizes him as one of his elves, to explain how into the whole Christmas theme he was.
Kinda like the Hydra Bob moment from Deadpool. If you set it up for the whole movie that he is the only one unaware if who they are up against, then when Santa bursts in. "Santa?" "Daryl?" "What are you doing here?"
@@Modification102 Yeah yeah, thats exactly the sort of thing I was expecting lol. Whether they still end up being enemies, or suddenly gain a sidekick for silly action scenes. The scene was fun in my head as I was watching and waiting lol
So what I can expect from being Santa, I can become a raging alcoholic by drinking their expensive hard liquor while not giving a flying fuck about what you want
1:32:00 and then the shotgun would be unloaded since it wouldn't be wrapped with shotshells in it so santa would have to beat the guy to death with a wrapped shotgun.
A cool concept for a final fight could have been the antagonist doing "good deeds" to get himself on the nice list, only to punch santa, to get back on the naughty list. Could have just been a minute of the final fight (or even have happened as a first fight/encounter between them earlier in the film) but it gives the over produced naughty/nice list a little more purpose in the film. Should have been quite easy to set up to with the family doing simple things to move over to the nice list as the ole Chekov routine.
Nah. I think they may have sounded that way cause they think this movie has greater potential. Its less, "the movie was awful" and more " the movie could have been great if..."
I hate the “John Wick but...” fad. it’s like too much John Wick over too little movie. we need to return to “Hoffman but...” movies. this is, EPIC bad luck... to me.
This is definitely a movie i wouldn't have finish if i was watching it myself and i only finished this efap coz i could skip forward. There were a few scenes i kinda liked but most of the movie was meh to annoying. Removing the girl scenes and the soldiers or having them not be more bad guys would have helped a bit, i think. Like having the soldiers arrive and seeing Santa beating up a bad guy or 2 might be funny.
I wonder how much blood he dripped over other unrelated people's homes at the end. Like were there gifts from santa covered in bloody hand prints all around the world later?
12:30 "They can't deliver them" depending on where you are, they can, some countries postal services actually take letters like that and even have people answer them.
I honestly forgot I watched this movie. I now remember liking Santa, the Kid, and the dad. A little bit of Scrooge (he was mostly cringe), in a cartoon villian way. And I probably would've remembered it better, and liked it more, if the action scenes weren't so cheaply done and devoid of stakes. It had good gags, funny lines, and neat details, but the side characters felt like tired memes or planks of wood and the action was lazily coreographed. Oooo a fast spinning shot during a fight? The coreography must be good, a turning camera is action!
Saint Nicholas was a catholic saint who was involved in the council of Nicaea. Apparently he beat up another Christian who denied the divinity of Christ.
@@Schlorb-Lord-of-Schlirb well, he was of a Hellenistic culture, but was born in what is modern day Asia Minor. For simplicities sake, I say he’s from Turkey.
Its too bad they didn't have one of the bad guys get confused by the bag and stick his head in. The guy gets Cathulu mind fucked and throws the bag into the fire then, and runs screaming into the woods. Or something. So far, it just feels like we were this close to greatness every step of the way. Maybe looking into the bag is how you become a Santa.
I think an interesting Santa story is one where it's a spy thriller where Santa infiltrates a secure location to deliver gifts. A good setting would be USSR, the communists wouldn't know him and their naughtiness (which would be established prior) lends to Santa trying to avoid them or knock them out with a lump of coal (for especially naughty).
Should’ve had the teenager wish for like an rpg or something during the middle of a fight to spawn in a power weapon and win at the last second in a ridiculous way.
Something they could do is make Santa and Krampus the same person and you could do a Jeckyll and Hyde thing where he has to get pulled back after going too far
I love the idea that the Norwegian govt is composed of various metal bands, and saddened that's likely not the case. p.s. love the music choice at 1:13:52
So, this wasn't a great movie but this was the worst EFAP movies out of all of them by an ocean or three. Usually with bad movies you make jokes or in some way make the trashy movie fun by your commentary. This one y'all almost exclusively whined for an hour and a half in the most repetitive way. Every other sentence was "Why isn't this movie a different movie?" yeah, I get it, I got it in the first ten seconds ffs. Nearly every single thing anyone said was some kind of whining, it was miserable.
I was thinking that very thing. Even when the things they said they wanted to see appeared, they just moved to the next thing the movie “should have done.” They were even talking about what they should do in the second act low point before the first act was even set up. Y’all came in ready to hate this one. lol
@@BetterCallStan The only part that bumped it down was the Home Alone reference, but maybe that's just me. It gave the same vibes as that movie that tried to tell, "But what if Superman was evil as a child?" Fun in theory, but then drawn out.
