It’s true. One does become more jaded as you go through life. No good deed goes unpunished, but still no need to become malicious. I just keep my head down and try to laugh as much as I can.
Well said i have found out that myselfBut you have more about you than these cruel people who hurt others . Be thankful you are a very kind And sensitive person.What else would you want to be , better to be that way than being wicked.
@@amandaskryweropinion The thing is Amanda would you really want respect from bad people. Its a real strength to be kind believe me cruel people are weak and cowardly.and remember cruel people are Psychopathic , and Psychopaths only are predatory to vulnerble people.They are the weak ones not us.
There’s a great quote that I believe applies to all people across all spectrums of class, wealth and the like-“ You can judge someone’s true character by the way they treat people they don’t need.” How does a person treat a waiter, or baggage handler? As a single woman, this quote echoes in my head when I go out with a new man. If he’s treating me very well, but Short And rude to a waiter, it generally tells me all I need to know.
"Why doesn't Keanu act like John Wick?" Well, he's an actor and when you watch a movie it's commonly accepted that actors play roles. With Ellen, the assumption is that she's being herself on the show and that the public persona is not really a role but her true personality (the name of the show is her true name). Similarly to magicians vs "psychics" - magicians play tricks on the audience who know that it's a form of make-believe entertainment whilst psychics (at least most of them) milk their audiences by pretending to have some supernatural powers (i.e. explicitly or implicitly lie to them).
I get what you're saying, the comparison is drastic, talk show host vs action star, but I get what he is saying too. The Colbert Report was also a talk show hosted by a comedian, and that was absolutely a persona being played by the comedian. And it was his true name. I would not have the expectation that any entertainer is the same on camera as off.
I would love to give you a prime example my daughter is a flight attendant and she flies International and she is based out of LA as I do flying to La quite a bit and she has a little pad there we are from Houston but if she's going to be an hour 2 hours Flyknit I will stay at LAX then wait for her here's the kicker you go to the baggage claim that is where you see it all the paparazzi the actors and actresses the clowns a show and if you don't Advance get your popcorn and you cover color your beverage of choice cuz you're going to see a movie in itself and that is the God's honest truth you talk about colorful characters clowns LAX is full of it and I'm talkin a listers that you would not think oh yes I could write a book just LAX claiming baggage that's the truth and you have to laugh
Kindness and sensitivity are traits perceived as weaknesses for surviving in a survivor society. That is why we don't reward them. Nevertheless, these traits are seen as good in the religious and spiritual world but not in the practical real world. Most people believe that being strong is to be tough. Actually, we can see that in action films movies. The heroes are hard and they have to destroy their opponents without thinking twice.
When I went to be in the audience to see the show, the staff spent a lot of time arranging us to look good. All cute girls by the aisles, and place where Ellen would run through. All old or ugly at the far edges. They actually picked out 2-4 or more people and asked them to move to the wall area, and the whole row was made to stand up and move to accommodate. Then they decided if it looked OK, and made more changes if needed. When the audience was " warmed up" it was more of just a pep rally..yell louder, clap more, be animated. Practice! We were pressured to laugh when the sign came on. I've been in audiences for Leno, Letterman, and Dennis Miller. Even Norman Lear's " Maude". Leno & Letterman came out and talked to the audience and basically said hello to everyone. They'd pick on a few folks, " where are you from and what do you do for a living?" None of them asked for any applause, and things flowed because they were funny & entertaining. If not the star, then there's warm up comedian.
Cherie French..I so agree with you. I often thought what if anyone of those guests, had a heart attack, what would she do. And some of her games are so unkind, and she thinks there funny. Not!
I used to like here when she was doing the comedy series 'Ellen'. I found that funny and engaging and felt sympathetic towards her character. However I've seen a few of her chat show and I can't stand it. I agree with your comment about the practical jokes, I don't find it at all funny and I find her very false. The few times I've seen her I find her to seems more interested in herself than the guests she has on.
I can’t remember who it was, but she had a celebrity on there who was pregnant but hadn’t announced it to the public at that time. Ellen essentially outed her pregnancy by insisting that she have a champagne toast. When the actress refused, Ellen was like, “what are you, pregnant??” So mean.
And the lynch mob mentality people have towards those people they believe have committed such offenses. It's as if they have never done anything wrong, and once a large group of them get a hate on a particular person, they _want blood._
@Jenn D I don't understand when, why or how the whole thing just went out the window, cancel culture mentality took over, and everything became just black or white. I _like_ that other people think differently than I do. If I'm wrong, I _want_ the other person to explain why, so I can reconsider my values. If someone else makes an intelligent argument, I listen to what they have to say. That's how you learn things and people can change and grow. It's like now, everything is "us and them" and if you don't side with the majority then they want to wipe you off the face of the earth.
@@Kitsune0268 Is it because children (who are now teens, twens and early 30s) were raised by parents who never told them "no" , "it's not possible" etc but instead told them they are the best, never wrong, princes/princesses... I mean yeah, that's nice to hear by a kid but a kid also has to learn to work with obstacles (and overcome them) in order to build emotional strength and selfconfidence? (I'm not talking of horrible obstacles)
The thing is, Keanu Reeves is an actor and we all expect him to not be himself in a movie. With Ellen Degeneres we expect more of an honest person. Especially with the choice of content in her show. Sensitive and kind subjects. So imo yes it is very hypocritical.
Yeah especially since she seems to go out of her way to promote herself as this kind and fun/loving person and also preach about kindness to other people. Keanu Reeves example/analogy was a terrible indeed.
@@heraldojacques8386 I was very surprised at the analogy. Perhaps Keanu's behavior in interviews (or other official appearances outside of his movies) would be more comparable to Elen's case than his acting roles.
"If only she had selected the less popular 'be mean' message, she would be fine now". Even Dr. Grande couldn't keep a straight face for that one! (5:50)
I like your comments on Keanu. I met him before. His band played at our casino long ago and matrix was fairly new back then. I met Keanu back stage after his show and I was excited because I was meeting Neo. I was like you really kicked ass in matrix and he was like Thank you but hey this is my band and he proceeded to put them first in stead of take the limelight on himself. I thought what a nice unselfish decent human being.
T Mackie his plane had a unplanned landing and he took a car with random people and wrote a story about the city. Find a celeb that would agree to sit in one car with strangers.
Years ago I worked behind the scenes in Hollywood, and Ellen was absolutely notorious. In the industry you end up discussing the celebs you’ve met or worked with quite a bit, the good and the bad. She was one of the worst I’d hear about from people who had worked on her show or with her in any capacity.
Sounds like her cover is blown. What does she care? She's got enough money for 10 lifetimes -- no way she could relate to the "little people." Some celebs, however, are truly grateful to the people who have made them celebrities.
Zara V I’d really be interested who the kind and humble celebs are as well. Somebody named Danzel Washington, Megan Ryan are, and of course the late Paul Newman is as well. These are older celebs we haven’t seen for a while. Interested in who the recent ones are.
Yeah, I was disappointed with that analogy. Keanu is an actor; Ellen is not, unless she's approached her talk show as an actor and not told anyone. If this is the case then her behavior is fair. However, it's not my impression that she's been acting (as opposed to Stephen Colbert assuming the personality of a conservative on his Colbert Report).
Yea but she is on camera most ppl put a character on when camera is on even if its not a movie...also she is a actress's all though she is not in a movie she still has camera on her face.
lol when you host a tv show you are supposed to have a "sunny" disposition. It is not like people will watch a depressed person being depressing at tv and draining all their energy.
Well, a lot of people that love to joke & laugh on the outside, have serious issues with depression on the inside. Just one symptom of depression is irritability. Look at Robin Williams, always joking on the outside. Inside he was suffering with suicidal thoughts. Johnny Carson was another one. People couldn't get enough of his hilarious talk shows. Every night after work, he'd go to the bar & drown himself. His kids & wives hated him for never being home. The big screen areas are just swarming with predators looking to inhale your last nickel. You soul is an after thought if ever there to begin with.
@@andreav318 that's just it though. Nobody thought Robin Williams had a problem with depression either. And if some of her staff don't like her, maybe they get rude & snotty too? Some people are just scorned because they have more $ than you or I put together. We all have our moments.
@@Acetyl53 no we don't accept excuses. I'm simply considering that as I don't know this person; an array of other possible excuses do exist. If one is being intentionally mean, I believe we all have a responsibility to speak up about what is going on. There is all ways a reason for everything. It may well not be a good reason, but that's where the dialog can start to try & correct the damage.
I've never cared for Ellen DeGeneres. The games she plays with her contestants always seemed mean and sadistic. She seems to enjoy the pleasure of hearing them scream and beg for Mercy.
Everyone has an off day or snaps occasionally, but it sounds like various people have complained about her lack of kindness toward them, so it's kind of a pattern. To me, she's acting in front of the camera and what she says about kindness is part of that act. The real her is how she is toward others off cam, and it doesn't sound as if she's all that nice to those she feels are inferior to her.
You don't have to feel superior to someone to act neutral/cold to someone. What if she's just a high functioning introvert? There are many people like this that when the cameras turn on she needs to go into full extrovert mode. And when she's done she just needs to shut down. I'm not defending her. I'm actually not even a fan of Ellen, but for people to simplify her behavior as being "mean" or "different to what she is on camera" are missing the point.
True, but there are many high profile people - famous or not - who behave in a distanced way to those that work for them or those not at the same professional level as they are. They have others to speak on their behalf, usually. It is hardly unusual. In fact, it is more usual to be distant. When a highly famous person is chatty and down to earth to ordinary people, people are often surprised and glad. They don't expect it, that's why. I often think that of Princess Diana. She wasn't hugely popular just because she was beautiful and warm and empathetic. She was hugely popular because she was all those things and a blue blooded aristocrat too.
What rubbish. Helen is clearly kind. No one knows what it is like to have the burden of fame. Everyone wants to know you. Everyone wants a part of you. Everyone wants a connection or acknowledgement. Its impossible. At work. In the street. Travelling. In a bar, restaurant, shop, event. Even at home the paparazzi don't leave you alone. Its impossible to acknowledge every thing, and everyone all of the time.
“Society doesn’t reward kind, sensitive people" - that's because society is being controlled and beat down by unkind and power hungry people! We can change the world by sticking to our kindness guns
If you are kind and sensitive toward people, why would you need to feel rewarded? The reward would be the reaction of the person you are treating kindly.
I think this runs deeper than what you covered. It's not that she simply forgot to say thank you. It's that she tells people to not look in her eyes in passing. Tells them not to talk to her. Meaning she will walk through a hall and you're expected to keep your eyes trained away. She doesn't greet guests before a show. It's a cold demeanor where she doesn't want interaction when she's not on stage.
Doesnt want any distractions while she brews/cultivates her psycho energy for the day's show (day's VICTIMS) Dont ruin Ellen's sociopathic mojo, people, you know the drill. She needs her "personal space".
@@L2PlayRunescape omg ... these allegations are so exaggerated , don't expect someone to be nice and in a good mood everyday , sometimes one can be angry or not feel like talking to people . It's human nature but it doesn't mean that they are a bad person . Can we just stop the drama and think rationally ?
ray ray if you were thinking rationally you wouldn’t blow off people’s accusations. Do you really think these people all ganged up to conspire against her? I’m so fucking tired of people who don’t want to deal with real, genuine issues blowing them off as “drama.”
@@Hannah-zw9ow Yeah like if something bad happens to someone and they tell, some people are like "ugh no drama please." So i guess they're just expected to close their eyes and sweep it under the rug.
lol when you host a tv show you are supposed to have a "sunny" disposition. It is not like people will watch a depressed person being depressing at tv and draining all their energy.
She started off as a stand-up comedian. A lot of people are comedians because that's their way of dealing with shitty things that happened in their lives. A lot of comedians have dark, depressed, negative &/or angry personalities and humor is their way of dealing with it. Her goofy, sunny disposition was her stand-up persona as well as the character in her tv show, so of course it was an act.
democrats want to have a laugh too. So therefor she is on the tv. Democrats are a crazy bunch of people and evil most of the time. but they will always act as if they are good. typical sociopathy.
Brad Garrett has just called Ellen out over her "apology', and went on to say it's common knowledge in the industry that Ellen is mistreating her staff and others. He knew her back in the days when both were up and coming comedians. Ellen pretending she didn't know that anything bad was happening is touching a nerve with people.
It amazes me how naive people are. I appreciate having both book smarts & street smarts. BTW, "street smarts" doesn't mean u have to come from "mean" streets. It's that observational wisdom & awareness u achieved growing up in whatever surrounding environment u grew up in. My street wisdom developed a very quick sense that this woman was a total fraud & probably a Dr Jekyll on camera & a Mrs Hyde when the camera is off. Anybody who acts that "cheery" all the time is "posing" as something they ain't. Oh yeah. "Poser" That's a slang word my clique used to describe all the fake people we encountered growing up as kids. Being cautious, cynical, critical, suspicious, & skeptical is critical in navigating the human minefield of all the scammers, thieves, back stabbers, & "smiling glad handers" such as Ellen Degenerate, that we may encounter in life.
@@flaccidego4291 Who's exactly naive here? Look at the comments, everyone apparently ''knew'' from the start that she was fake, you are not th exception lmao. What you're saying here is also not exactly a revelation, most people understand that. We all know that with experience and wisdom comes some level of criticism, caution and scepticism, not a news, no asked for advice Dr Phil
From what I've seen in this Ellen character I made a conclusion that she could be a narcissist. She appears to be this friendly, sociable and funny on stage. Her questions to her guests are rude and vulgar, by the way and not funny at all! So, only people close to her or who work with her might better know what she really is. Therefore, I believe these reports, coming to tell about her true persona. And I think they wouldn't be talking, if there was nothing. And they'd have to be reporting the same things. I don't believe that such a character that Ellen chosen for her stage appearance is her real true personality. It's all fake and she's an actress after all. And not a very good person if she treats her employees this way!
She had an employee who worked for her for two years who would say hi to her constantly and Ellen never once said it back. That in my eyes is a complete garbage person ESPECIALLY when you earn millions telling people to "be kind to one another". I think her treatment of people should be the forefront of the discussion. Expecting your boss to be somewhat civil is not asking much. She is dodging a huge bullet with people focusing on the workplace environment and not the NUMEROUS reports calling her a cold hearted person who thinks she is above all those not in her circle. The fact there are hundreds of people who have said the same things about her, ie dont look her in the eyes, dont look at her, dont talk to her, it just screams POS and she blew it all off by saying others werent doing their jobs.
Mystic Heart.. Piece of Shit is P O S.... Person who wrote that comment simply understands where our focus should be .... Being truly kind, not kind in your mind... The heart❤️
@@exceptionaltalentspc4954 Maybe the person is having a bad day like Ellen says happens. Im the same way.. if after the second or third time you dont respond I wont make an effort again. But not all people are like that and some are just personable and persistent.
Something about the way she acts on her show ... towards the guests ... she’s superficially sweet but I can see the nasty person just underneath that sweet exterior
@@stardustgirl2904 I have met all nice, down to earth lesbians - more so than straight women. How nice is it to assume most people of an entire orientation are one way or the other? Again, I've met far, far more mean and aggressive straight women - who, when you don't agree with them, are quick to turn aggressive on you then lesbians.
Dr Grande. Please don’t stop making these videos. The format/formula you use is easy to digest which makes complicated topics u cover understandable for the uneducated (in mental health ) person to understand
I always wondered how Ellen had the energy to keep up the pace of putting out that daily public high quality product. It doesnt surprise me that she wasn't always available and gregarious. I agree that what was described werent a big deal. There's no way male talk show hosts get this much vitriol for their grumpiness.
I feel like Dr Grande didn't do enough research on this one and missed a lot of the truly terrible stuff people have reported about her. Not saying thank you? No big deal. Not sure why he harped on that one so much but didn't mention her emotional abuse of her wife, the time she forced Mariah Carey to admit she was pregnant way earlier than she wanted to by trying to make her drink champagne on the show (she ended up losing the baby), trying to get a waitress fired because her nail polish was chipped, scaring guests on her show all the time by having things jump out at them - getting off on that is weird. I'm forgetting so much but there is a lot more. Her fellow comedians hate her.
Are you saying mariah miscarried bc Ellen forced her to drink alcohol when pregnant. Mariah could've declined to drink when pregnant and said "no thanks I'm good", no explanation needed if she didnt want to share her pregnancy to media yet
Did not mention her creepy game show, based on mocking and harassing contestants. Did not mention her constant frightening of guests on her talk show. Sadistic streak. Not entertaining!
@@SoulDelSol That is not what she was saying. Mariah did not want to discuss her pregnancy, or even acknowledge it at the time, likely because she was going through complications that eventually lead to her miscarriage. Instead of respecting her wishes, Ellen brought out a glass of wine and essentially said "If you're not pregnant, then have a drink," forcing Mariah to admit, or at least imply that she was pregnant despite her hesitation.
I just found this channel last night and I've been binging ever since. Dr. Grande you're amazing. Your Michael Jackson video was beyond awesome, you make so much sense.
There’s too much ‘admiring’ people for absolutely no good reason. It’s an American trait that has spread round many other countries now due to the internet and a lot of its shallow content.
Agreed. But I have to admit, I'm glad that he mentioned Keanu here because he's one of the very few celebrities I do admire. He doesn't let fame go to his head!
She’s kind when the camera is on...... well actually that’s not true, she seems moody and distant. She needs to get over herself, and realize her hypocrisy shows through
and you you are kind because...? exactly you enjoy a good downfall like the rest of them, and not willing to entertain that people are flawed and everyone has a public persona.
@@paulthomas8262 yeah, lol when you host a tv show you are supposed to have a "sunny" disposition. It is not like people will watch a depressed person being depressing at tv and draining all their energy.
Paul Thomas most of us are kind because we’re simply decent people. It’s ridiculous that we live in a society where people like you think the only reason people are kind is because we must want something. No, we’re just decent humans. There’s a huge difference between being “flawed” and being a bully, Ellen is a bully. We need to stop excusing this behavior by saying “nobody’s perfect.” It’s true no one is perfect, but that is not an excuse to treat people badly.
I think the difference between an actor and someone like Ellen is that the actor is playing a role that is clearly not their personality where as Ellen is a talk show host so people expect her tv personality to be more real
I agree I think this video has some valuable points but the overall vibe is a bit off. It kind of has this vibe of, " why are you so dumb for thinking Ellen is genuine, you're a naive fool! I would never assume such a stupid thing". In reality I think there's more nuance to the conversation and some real workplace harm concerns. This channel has some people watching who really need to feel smart.
A lifelong friend of mine who used to work there early in his career (around 4 years ago, I’d say). He said people aren’t allowed to look at, let alone talk to her, unless they’re higher-ups; she also was very cruel, detached, and uncaring towards lower-level staff. She behaved in a way that clearly indicated she was above/far superior to those staff members.
She's obviously part of a protected class so we, ordinary balanced normal people aren't allowed to criticize. I can't imagine a straight white man acting that way and keeping his job. And most of the likes of her Amy shummer of Lily Singh are chronically unfunny but still keep their jobs for somes reasons.
You also have to consider the circumstances of an encounter. I worked festival and concert security for several years. You interact with the performers all of the time. The only expectation is on you, not the performer. There is no requirement for them to treat you a certain way (outside of abusive, racist, sexist interactions, obviously). These performers are working. They could be having a stressful day professionally or personally. Or they could be having a stress free, wonderful day. Ultimately, this is their job and they’re working and you’re working for them, either directly or indirectly. There should be no expectation that the performer says or does anything, and there should be no judgment against them due to a preconceived expectation. (Again, excluding abusive behavior).
I think the issue with Ellen is that she is constantly saying be kind, putting out this idea to everyone. So it’s not wrong for people to assume she’s nice. If she’s not nice then don’t put that out there. Or if she’s just regular don’t put it out there. I agree that for others we shouldn’t expect them to be nice but her and Oprah have branded themselves that way. They can have off days. But to find out they’re consistently rude is off putting and surprising to most people.
Exactly. We don't have all the information. Does she generally greet everyone with hi, and goodbye? Maybe she had good reason for not saying hi, goodbye with these people. Maybe she saw, heard something. Or maybe she was extremely distracted that day. Who knows? But the sensitivity here is over the top. Many people want their hands held. And everyone must walk on eggshells around them.
meadow227 if you look into the many stories of people who have had rude interactions with Ellen, you’ll see it’s actually the opposite of what you’re saying. Ellen makes the people working for her walk on eggshells (a previous employee actually used that exact term), not the other way around. Does she technically have a right to do this? Yeah, of course. She’s the boss, after all. But the viewers of her show also have a right to hear about it, and make their own decision about whether they want to continue supporting her show with ratings. It’d be a different case if it were not a personality-driven show. She directly gains money by making herself look like an angel, so people deserve to know that it’s just an image she puts on
@@Tika927 you know, I have to see both ways. That's a TV show any mistake is in Ellen. So, yes I think I would be e strick. Now, abusive behavior should be investigated. Ince I had to fire an employee that was late 27 times in two months. Not 5 minutes late. She was time one to 2 hours. So, she was a young mother, I tried to work with her. However, she tried to suit the company for unjustified termination. 😕 of course, I had all the documents and the complaint was dismissed.
I think Keanu Reeves is a bad comparison because he's an actor and she has a show with the mantra of "be kind." I don't think Keanu ever said to be kind, he just is. So, like you said, it's the hypocrisy that is bothering her staff. (And no doubt, others). I remember being shocked a few years ago when she made a joke at some award show about Lisa Minnelli looking like a man. Ms Minnelli was there. I believe Ellen's mean. Maybe she's tired out from it all. If that's the case, then it's time to change her slogan to "don't worry about manners" or else retire. Thank you Dr Grande. 👍🌹 This will blow over like almost everything else with celebs. Well, at least the small stuff. She won't change. We wear the leopard skin that is ours whether we want to show it or not.
I agree, Keanu is an actor. He's ACTING when portraying a character. He's not telling others to be one way while his true self is different from that. It's an apples and oranges comparison. You don't even have to rely on hearsay to know that Ellen is mean. I've seen plenty of clips of her show where she's making shitty "I'm joking, but not really" remarks at people and is basically taking a stab at them. I've always hated her despite her popularity because she's always came across as cold and a hypocrite to me.
You said she made a joke. Since when joking about someone's appearance became tabu? No topic should be tabu. Offence is taken, not given. I'm sure that Lisa Minnelli (whoever she might be) laughed out loud when jokes were not about her.
people have a raw reation to bullies as most of us have been bullied (workplace, school...). Are her workers entitled to a hello from her? Well, depends...does she greet some and gives deliberate silent treatment to others? If a boss pretends that a worker does not exist she is presenting him/her as pariah to others and it is considered as creating a toxic work environment meant to push people to resign. I dont know about USA but in some countries that could be seen as unlawful treatment of a worker.
we do not know how bad she really is. When she said she wished she had a kid....she did not mean she wanted to be a mother but more likely she wanted to exploit a child. Rumors are, she is an alleged SRA, addicted to adrenochrome. Look it up. Is it true ? No one is telling........well, not officially.
Do not be an enabler. She treated her employees very wrong and you do not know the abuse or damage. the last thing we need are more dismissive enablers
Admittedly it made me sad when you said 'Our society doesn't reward kind and sensitive people'. Like, I don't disagree with you; the fact you said it so bluntly and I know there's truth to it hurts a bit, I suppose. But I guess that's all the more reason to continue to be kind; if the world is like that, I don't want to be part of the problem; I rather make things easier for those around me and do the best I can to make things better, even if it's in a small way. Hope you have a good day, Doctor Grande.
Her humor is mostly boiled down to: “isn’t it funny that seventeen year olds in 2020 don’t know how to use a rotary telephone?” No Ellen, it’s really not that funny or surprising to know that lol.
My grandson didn't know how to roll down a window in my pickup truck. I pointed to the crank and he said oh yeah, and immediately pushed the screw holding the crank on the door panel. I thought that was hilarious.
@@jesussaves7973 I don’t get what you’re making fun of me about. Perhaps the joke is on you? Whatever your point there is no necessity to be condescending or demeaning. Perhaps Ellen is your favourite?
@ScienceFraction The topic is the toxic work environment that is her show. I have seen the behaviors that Helen is referencing, and it seems likely that the sporadic uglyness that creeps up from time to time is indictive of her management style. In all fairness, it is difficult for me to fault her snide attitude, at least as her public persona is concerned. She really did alot to bring about a change in the way the LGBTQ+ community is treated, but before her famous kiss on her short lived sitcom, I'm sure she had to silently eat alot of crow. At the same time, I doubt she wants to be gay poster child 24/7, if at all. Now when it comes to servers in restaurants and others in the real world who aren't pandering to her status, but rather just trying to do their job, her behavior warrants a stiff jolt of humility. If Judy Garland were still around, I'd love to see her sit Ellen down and round off some of those edges.
I'm sorry but that behavior is very human because we all to a certain degree laugh at the fears and mistakes of others. Why people usually laugh when somebody takes a fall? Are most people insensitive psychopaths? Nobody likes when people laugh about them but most people like to laugh at others. Also, no one likes to be criticized but most of us like to critic others' behavior. That's why satire is a type of humor that is used to make people laugh. Ellen is a comedian and satire is how she make the public laugh because the general public likes that kind of humor.
Thank you for putting the sensitivity issue into perspective. Her excessive criticism is absurd. She’s human, and under huge levels of pressure. She’s bound to be highly focused and on edge and not available to consider 100s of people at all times. She has brought millions joy.
I liked this analysis and how you touched upon 'the cost of sensitivity' issue. In my opinion, if you don't like Ellen ( or any other celebrity) then don't watch their show. Also, it makes me wonder whether public apologies are heartfelt or forced upon them because of ratings going down. Insincere apologies are the worst.
We don’t expect Keanu Reeves to act like John Wick because he’s acting. Ellen, on her TALK SHOW, NOT A MOVIE, is projecting her supposed real self. Terrible analogy.
Many people still think a movie character reflects how the actor is in real life. They can’t seem to tell the difference from fiction and reality, and these are supposed to be adults. Makes me wonder what stages of development they missed to still think like that at their ages.
😲😲🤯 I was just about to search YT for this situationship on Ellen Degeneres and this popped up ! Same happened a while ago about someone else, I think Dr Grande is reading minds ..
By pulling pranks, scaring people, making fun of things, embarassing audience members...? She's never been this sweet little person. She's a comedian--she pushes the boundaries between nice and mean, acceptable and not, sensitive and insensitive everyday. Her show is part scripted by others, things are planned out, she has to come on a be the same Ellen everyday that people expect her to be. I imagine she does have a bit of a persona for the show. I would definitely not expect her to be exactly the same off camera.
I'm not surprised at all. I'm a good "reader" of people, not that I've learned it or anything, it must be instinct (I've only really realized it not very long ago). She has "mean" and "hypocrite" written all over her face, something I already saw 20 years ago, at least.
Exactly why I stopped watching her show, especially the way she treats her staff on national television. It's almost as if she needs to humiliate someone on each episode. Ridiculous.
I disagree with the Keanu analogy because John Wick is a character he is playing while the “The Ellen DeGeneres Show” is a self-titled talkshow which is supposed to be displaying Ellen DeGeneres as herself. I think these complaints are not valid though because there is no realistic way that a celebrity of her stature could please every human that she interacts with, with the level of enthusiasm and interest that she gives he guests while on the air. It would be so mentally and physically draining she would not be able to even get through the day.
Though it seems like she's generally known for being unkind. I'm sure everyone could understand an off moment here or there but Ellen seems to be notorious for this behavior and benefits from selling herself as a "kind" person. I think the upset justifiably comes from that. Someone capitalizing on a disingenuous version of themselves. If she doesn't have the energy, maybe she should stop making that the hallmark of her image. Ahh, but then that might interfere with her popularity, no?
Exactly: not a good analogy. A better one: what if Dr. Grande had no dry sense of humour at all in real life? Would we be disappointed. Uuuuuh yeeeah, we wouuuuld!
Totally agree with you about Keanu but I think the way alleged way that Ellen treats her workers is disgusting. Not being able to look her in the eyes, only speaking when spoken to, having to chew gum before speaking with her. If true, it is behaviour that cannot be defended in my eyes. I have worked for people like that and it made me feel like trash.
@@guessxwhoxitxis i fully agree if that really is what - she - demands. It - might - still be the case that their superiors demanded that of the staff without Ellen herself even knowing about it. Not probable but possible.
So we find that another celebrity is not who we think he/she is, or how she represents him/herself. To use an old movie line, I am shocked, shocked I say, to find there is gambling in this establishment.
1942, "Casablanca" Ingrid Bergman, Humphrey Boghart, Curt Bois, Sydney Greenstreet, Paul Henreid, Leonid Kinskey, Madeline LeBeau, Peter Lorre, Joy Page, John Qualen, Claude Rains, S. K. Sakall, Conrad Veidt, and Dooley Wilson
I remember seeing Oprah say when she went on Carson and tried to talk to him during commercial break and he said something like “ I don’t talk right now” and she realized he was very different off camera
I am a big fan of Dr Grande but I am surprised that he missed couple obvious points. for example, Ellen is clearly having high degree of schadenfreude, which is shown on her show through pulling prank on her guest and also scaring them and enjoyment on her face.
@@themurrrr I have to agree with you, most jokes are innocent and clean, In one word, you joke with someone who you like not you hate, but I believe most practical joking and physically causing trouble or embarrassment to others are related to Schadenfreude.
since this comment went viral, I am going to ask my question here, is there any forum-like or place that regular people can talk about psychology books and videos? (not academic type, just as a personal interest)
I feel it is a bit off to compare Ellen to Keanu because we know Keanu is an Actor. We don't expect him to be his various characters, where with Ellen she is being "herself" on her show. So it's a little bit different. I do see the point though, and it is a good one!
But we all have to see the constant Keanu memes. His profound quotes about life which he never really said. Just because it's Keanu, the actor. No offense.
Love that you find yourself as funny as we do, stifeling your chuckle.🤣 May I make a suggestion for a prescription you could fill? Please publish a book of all of your clever, witty quotes and sarcastic humor. I'd be the first in line to buy it. Laughter is indeed the best medicine and you know how to deliver it. Well played Doc, as always! 😉
I consider myself a reasonable person, but you're always teaching me how to be more logical when considering a situation. I hope Ellen is a decent person(she always seemed like it) and I hope that the show's working environment, if proven hostile, is remedied. Her show has brought happiness to a lot of people.
There is a difference between acting and preaching. I think we all get that an actor is not the same as their character. I always found Ellen to be preachy. Practice what you preach.
I'm not a fan of Ellen or of most big name tv personalities. I guess I just don't trust people or companies that have their philanthropic deeds announced to the world. Some of them may be genuine in their intentions, but i appreciate those who choose to remain anonymous or low key about their charitable donations. If these allegations are true, it still doesn't matter in the long run. Is she mean, cold, or selfish? Maybe, but I'm not going to cast any stones as I'm not without flaws. The point is, people in general need to stop worshipping or idolizing public figures (of course, it doesn't help that producers and promoters and media tell everyone that celebrities like Ellen are totally amazing). When all is said and done, they are imperfect human beings just like the rest of us. Let's stop putting them on pedestals no matter how cool we think they may be.
@@themurrrr Ellen treats her wife badly. Refused to let her have a baby and would mock her by telling her she would never make it on her own (portia has left her many times but always goes back).
@@lilydell948 uuugh! If that's true, that's sickening. Portia is super beautiful & a dang good actress in her own right. Maybe, Ellen is jealous of Portia's beauty & sincere kindness! I recall Ellen's ex, Anne Heche found wandering around LA in a daze, knocking on a stranger's door, asking for a shower. Maybe, she was lucky to get away... speculation, but I can't help wondering.
@@Leezl41 Yeah, Ellen likes her broken birds, doesn't she? Anne Heche was a very ill woman when she met Ellen (Heche's autobiography "Call Me Crazy" was raw, revealing and very well-written. She's a true survivor and probably an empath). Portia de Rossi (autobiography, "Unbearable Lightness") was in the throes of an eating disorder when she and Ellen first met. I wonder if in the beginning of these power-unbalanced relationships, Ellen promises these women that she will protect and take care of them forever, (🚩) then the relationship devolves into a nightmare of rigidity and controlling behavior....Just wondering.
She said: "As we've grown exponentially, I've not been able to stay on top of everything and relied on others to do their jobs as they knew I'd want them done. Clearly some didn't. That will now change and I'm committed to ensuring this does not happen again.". Doesn't sound like an apology to me, sounds like a threat to her staff :/
Curious on your thoughts re Ellen’s delight in “pranking” and denigrate people on the program “Average Andy” etc. Are excessive delight in these signs of sociopathy???
It's something about her eyes. Low-key, years ago when I watched regular tv.. I'd watch her..and she was funny af..not going to lie. But it's still something about her eyes.. like sadness or misery.. like secrets there. I've always thought that.
On the other side of the game. Stop worshipping celebrities. GEEZ, SOMETIMES IT FEELS AS IF PPL KNOW CELEBRITIES MORE THAT THEMSELVES. Secretly waiting for their demise. Who cares is Ellen is mean (now if she hurting ppl/kids.. then off with her head) .. so. Ppl know more about celebrities than their own families sometimes.
Ellen has had a lot of loss and upheaval in her life. She lost her first love (I think it was a car accident). She lost her career (more than once) for being openly gay. She has faced unspeakable criticism over the silliest things (people “cancelled” her for a picture with George W Bush). I think she’s just exhausted. That’s the sadness in her eyes: grief and exhaustion.
@@RealSigmaQueen you see? Wow.. ppl know alot about celebrities. I just figured she goes through alot..just like regular ppl..but it affects ppl different. Some can hide it well..others, not so much. If ppl didn't worship celebrities (I'm not at all saying you in particularly do..not at all).. they could mourn, and grieve, and go through things quietly..like the rest of the world.
Then why did she sacrifice it all when she came out as gay? Her career and image went down the toilet. If her goal is to succeed, then she wouldn't have done that.
@@whereaboutsunknown3822 Well not EVERY decision she makes would be solely for her career. Coming out was probably very important on a personal level. That doesn't mean she can't still be cold and calculating during the day to day operation of running her business or brand.
Kindness cannot be rewarded. If we rewarded kindness, then people would do good deeds for the reward, not because it is the right thing to do. The problem is we punish kindness and reward cruelty. This creates a toxic society.
Sensitive people do not get rewarded. But, they don't necessarily get punished either. I am not certain what reward sensitive people expect? BTW, I am sensitive and I do not expect a reward nor do I expect to be punished for being sensitive.
My brother was a foley artist/sound editor in Hollywood for many years. He worked on a lot of big name movies such as Splash, The Princess Bride, My Big Fat Greek Wedding and many others. It is not at all unusual for staff to be told not to speak to the actors on set and I understand why.. Imagine if every day Ellen had dozens of people saying “hi” or wanting to engage in conversation with her. It would get tiring. Having to always “be on” is also very tiring. People seem to think that celebrities are just what they see on TV or in a movie and they forget that they are human just like the rest of us.
"But what if she's truly nice, and she's acting mean..." Legitimate consideration! WE NEED MORE OF THIS!!! Many times it's the whining tweeters who are the narcissists
Thank you so much for taking your time explaining this. I love the way you organize and summarize your thoughts. Very easy to listen to. Great job 🤗👍🏻🥳
This reminds me of an interview with Kevin Hart in the Joe Rogan’s show. Basically Kevin was saying that when he meets fans at random places, they automatically expect him to be funny or crack jokes. That is a very unrealistic expectation because nobody is in that mood all the time. In the case of Ellen I can see how she can be a kind person but not act kindly, I never imagined her to be this warm and fuzzy person. I certainly agree when you say that our society does not reward kindness. This was an interesting topic. Thank you Dr. Grande!❤️ Dr. Grande also has a podcast on True Crime: truecrimepsychologyandpersonality.podbean.com/ It’s called True Crime Psychology and Personality by Dr. Todd Grande.
Totally different situation asking somebody to be funny on command and dealing with mental abuse which they did from Ellen DeGeneres you cannot compare the two
I’m thinking the same thing! Also I get the sense that she’s burned out from doing her show. You can tell that she doesn’t have fun anymore, so I think that translates to her appearing more cold towards her staff. It really sucks that she’s being so heavily criticised when she has done a lot of good
Don't enable her. Haha! Seriously, I get your point. The problem is she just apologized for her rudeness and too many people are saying she's snobby in person. Yep. She's allowed to be mean, but don't expect people to just take it.
I used to be, I used to work in a very toxic environment and I survived and learned to speak up for myself without letting my emotions get in the way. It was very hard, but I learned and it has helped me a lot.
Thank you for bringing up the fact that it is unrealistic to expect Ellen to know what happens with everything on her show. Her knowing about it would be bad but we cannot assume that she knew or that she should have
The sensitivities to smell thing could hint at some kind of obsessive-compulsive disorder, which could point to why her crew is described by many as "constantly walking on eggshells." When things aren't JUST AS SHE WANTS THEM, she's known for being difficult. Like the time she wanted a waitress fired because her fingernail polish was chipped.
is that often a sign of ocd or something similar? I had an english teacher once that was incredibly sensitive to smell. If someone had washed their hair with shampoo that smelled and it lingers in the air she would kick the person out. there were [multiple] times she would kick the entire class out of the class and we had to sit in the hallway because she said a smell was hurting her head. It was wild... I wonder if she had some kind of OCD.
@@KisDraga My sister is WICKED OCD (repeats everything at least 5 times, mops her floors 3 to 5 times a day, loses her mind if there's droplets of water in her sink, etc), and all she complains about every day, all day, is smells that nobody else can smell or else nobody else cares about. She accuses every single person in her life of being smelly and disgusting, even though everyone in her life showers every day and is very hygienic. NOBODY can live up to her standards. It seems like Ellen may be the same way.
@@emmagrove6491 Reminds me of my sister who has these "allergies". Always complaining and has travelled to see the very best doctors and had all kinds of tests done over the years but the same results come back: She's not allergic to anything! She is a covert Narcissist like our mother. Your sister may have achieved very little in her life and compensates by playing sick or constantly seeking attention for her health. By the way, her son is homeless! Yes, homeless during this pandemic! Sis doesn't even know where he is! At this point I have to once again block her and my whole family due to their lack of empathy, "magical thinking" and living in denial. It's a mental disorder.
i like how u make videos on the things people ask you to make. saw someone ask for this on another vid of urs, then before u know it I find you made what ur fans asked for. Thank you as always Dr.Grande
Ellen was even rude on her show, it's just more obvious now. Like when she has Psy on her show, he had a global hit at the time and he had to ask to introduce himself, she was just using him as a prop. I don't think all the people who complained, guests on her show and staff are sensitive, I think she just skipped all pretense of basic manners if you were not important enough to her. Which anyone would get in trouble for, not just Ellen. Now she's pretending she had no idea what her staff was upto.
@@indicolite3355 I'm sure it was not, it's not like she could fail to notice people avoiding making eye contact and she send people away for eating the wrong foods. She just thought she could get away with it if she blamed the staff.
Eugenia Syro I have always liked Portia much more, (she also grew up in my city). But even if Ellen’s show ended, people’s pleasure of that, couldn’t match the pleasure Ellen would enjoy living a life few get too.
Elise S Yes, lots of local rumours she was a good kid. She still seems very nice. I think the power has gone to Ellen. She achieved what she had dreamed of, and worked hard for. Began to feel entitled. At some point lost herself.
Amen! You're only as good as the people who work for you. They have as much to do with her success as she herself does in a way. I have lost all respect for her.
Steve Harvey explained it like, if he stopped and said hello to everyone that spoke to him, he would never accomplish anything. I feel that maybe entertainers should at least signal a nod or a wave as they pass, maybe they do and people expect too much. Just as you suggested. It’s hard for people to be “on” 24/7. Maybe we should cut them some slack. HOWEVER, you should greet and say thank you to people who are serving you in some capacity.Also to her guests in the show, she should be equal to all of them. It’s just polite. *enjoy your videos so much *
I just watched the "Black Femininity Channel" and found out that Ellen has been accused of doing way more than not using basic manners, her staff alleges that she created an environment of fear, people have even called the way she treated them as hateful and dehumanizing...and not just to the people who work for her. Waiters reported that she is very mean, disrespectful and difficult to serve. I have to say that I am a little surprised because I know that she is always acting as if she is the spokesperson for the underdog and for anyone who has been discriminated against and mistreated due to their race or sexual orientation...it makes you wonder what's really going on...
@just Steph. I’ll tell you what is really going on. And I will get backlash from it I’m sure. I’m ready. But it is an obvious Ellen is NOT a Christian. (Her marriage to a woman) Christians are not perfect, not always kind etc,,, but trying to live by the Golden Rule. “ Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” Does she want to be treated with respect and simple greetings like we all do?
ethiopian phenomenon yep. She is an abomination unto the One True God Almighty because she married to a woman. Isn’t Ellen a woman?? Nvm , not gonna argue . I’m done. I don’t care if she is rude.... etc... this is not judging as ppl think... it’s righteous judgement Ppl think good is evil these days and evil is good. It’s ok. It’s only gonna get worse. And will it not be a laughing matter. Eternity is toooo long to be wrong. I pray you find the truth. I’ve tried to tell you before it’s too late. Bye 👋
@@jesussaves7973 I highly recommend you read a book called " The God Delusion" by Richard Dawkins. You need psychological help. Someone that believes in an almighty being has a delusional disorder.
I feel that your analogy to Reeves is not a good one. Reeves is acting, Ellen is not...she has a talk show. Reeves is supposed to act different when taking on a character.
All performers have a public persona and a private persona, not just actors. Like when you see an actor giving an interview as themselves, they're still using a public persona and not just being who they are with friends and loved ones. Like in any job, you keep work and home separate.
Yes work and home are separate but ACTING like a fictitious character is VERY different from having a talk show! Of course Im not going to be surprised or disappointed by the ACTOR not being angry enough to stab me like he did in a movie. Its absurd.
I liked the illustration about the alarm! So true, an oversensitive alarm would be recalibrated. It's a balance. I sincerely like most people but sometimes I have a lot on my mind and I neglect to say hello or acknowledge people as well. It's not personal and has nothing to do with the other person, in fact I often blank out so I don't even remember seeing them but that's because of what I have going on, not the other person. Isn't it a little narcissistic to expect everyone to notice acknowledge and converse with you every time they're in your presence? Sometimes people are thinking about their kid who is sick and don't even see you standing there in front of them because their world revolves around their family not some oversensitive acquaintance!
Katz Meowski communism still has celebrities. Only, they’re the politicians that are running the communist regime. They have a cult of personally regime, which is essentially what Ellen has been doing 😂
