I was the super loving woman waiting at home for my hard-working man. I wasn't anxious when he was away as i trusted we were a strong team. I raised our children, took care of all their needs and wants. I ran the house and got up all throughout the night with all the babies so he could rest. I also made sure his sexual needs were met nearly every day! He took advantage of my trust and his freedom by cheating on his weeks away for work. His ego slowly grew out of control with each promotion. He became sexually promiscuous with men and woman all over the country. Put my body in danger while i was pregnant by sleeping with strangers without my knowledge. Destroyed the fabric of our children's reality and now they dont have mum and dad at home. Some men don't know how to treat a hearty, honest and loyal woman when they get one.
I’m really sorry this happened to you. I can’t even imagine how much it would hurt to be cheated on like this. I hope one day there’s peace where there used to be pain.
@iridescentkek7458 Thank-you! We're still healing from it, but grateful every day to not be in that environment any longer. My confidence is still growing but I'm the happiest I've ever been. I'm staying single to protect myself and my children. Starting my own business and putting all my eggs in my own basket for a change. 💜
@kairofab9981 That's not how narcissistic relationships work. You don't get to choose what you'd like to keep. Your independence, career, confidence and self esteem, support network, goals and passions slowly all end up handed over to them.
You sound like a unicorn… You gave your man intimacy every day on top of everything you do! Are you kidding me! My absolutely stunning ex girl gave it too me in droughts… I hated her for it… She robbed me of 6 years of my life.. I couldn’t move forward and Marry or stop working like a madman in pursuit of something…. You deserved and deserve much better.. I am so sorry… Please do not let your self become lesser a woman by being angry and destructive by the pain he put you through…
It’s the women who are loyal they make fun of - she is too emotional: but as the years go by , it’s those emotional women who will stand by you when the office eases you out when you old
@@theartificialrealms Indirectly you men do actually. Every man has tried to remove or make fun of the fact that I am emotional. When that is part of my love and loyalty. If I didn’t care for quality time, affection then I would be cold/emotionally withdrawn but most don’t see that.
@@HomebyFadeline Every man YOU have dated. But it is something both parties should recognize. Women are more emotive and have a higher demand for emotional needs. For men it's sex.
This describes my mom, emotionally connected. She married my father who was hard-working but always put family first. He switched around meetings to attend practices and recitals without my mom having to ask. They both had a common goal which was to be a healthy family and raise healthy children who had a front seat to what a healthy relationship looks like. We were middle-class, had a couple of financial struggles (due to recession) but man oh man… throughout everything the security they gave me as a child knowing that the world could end but my parents would still walk to the end of the Earth holding each other’s hands is something I don’t think many children have today. The way you are as husband-wife has deeply lasting impacts on not just the couple but the children who get a front seat to seeing that relationship. It lays down the the blueprint for relationships they will eventually forge. Be careful who you choose to spend your life with. And all the best finding them!
I told my ex how damaging his behavior was to our daughter , and what he was setting her up for in her life. He could have given a flying fuck less 🤣 he's trying to fuck everybody up as bad as him . Thanks big guy and lori you get the award for Bigget Fuckup of the Century 👏 That ritual sadistic abuse , worked like a charm 🎉
Honestly yes, my goal in life is to build a family around me like my parents did and that's, what I believe at least is something that I submit to all the friends I make as well which almost automatically makes everyone my close friend who I can trust and sort out those who don't want to be a part of my "journey"
AMEN…my boyfriend got a new job and we don’t see each other enough and he stopped communicating. I gave him a little leeway because it is a new job but after a month I told him this won’t work for me long term. Then I set some ground rules of what type of communication I need from him to feel secure and he agreed and is making the effort. Now things are good.
I have a rough situation. I knew getting into my relationship with my now fiancée, that he worked 6 days a week 12 hour shifts with one Saturday off a month. I knew this. But now that we are living together and building a life, I can’t see myself doing this for long term. He comes home, showers and goes to bed. There’s no communication really. We don’t go out and do anything. I gave up my place to be with him and for some reason I feel trapped now. 😢
What are those ground rules? Please share in detail. I’m going through the same thing. I don’t want to walk out but I don’t know what basic communication requirements I can ask to hold me for this time period
As a man. We need to start understanding emotions. Im not saying you should be crying. But understand your woman's perspective, then you will ve able to tell why she reacts a certain way and comfort her.
Sure but equally women need to start understanding that many men are stoic and that doesn't mean they don't love her. It isn't only men who need to adjust their behaviors and expectations in relationships.
No one wants to be with someone who's clingy and needy, but if you really love your husband or wife, you WANT to be with them and spend time with them. In fact, there is no one I'd rather spend time with!
Yep. I was told I was “needy” by an ex years ago and I’ve spent too much time trying to prove to men that I’m the cool chick and doesn’t need much. Needless to say I never felt connected or secure with any of them. Sometimes we need to hear that as women it’s ok the act as a woman. With all our emotions and needs.
🗣the best part of “any” woman is her emotional needs. when a man scoffs at women for having them, it’s because he has to completely engage w/ her in order to continue his “lies”. A woman’s emotions are paramount to her survival.
Been told the same in the past. Don’t know how they expected relationship to work without communication and quality time I felt like a side chick, he could do as he pleased, with me feeling neglected and rejected most of the time. That was love apparently.
Reason I wouldn’t settle for a man who worked long hrs. Most women just want to have a comfortable living not be super wealthy. My husband pursued engineering when we were engaged as we talked about it being a good field for a familylife. It’s been great! Good income, plenty of free time, lots of flexibility, and I can be home. He loves it too being a present father and husband. 8 years blissfully married and expecting our 5th child! ❤
That’s good. 5 kids is to be applauded as well. Hope they’re all well. But not all engineer careers are so cushy, many have challenging hours and pressure.
@@theartificialrealms well it’s a choice though as engineering is a bit of a broad field. And I think enjoying your job is what counts. My husband is very much into tech and super good at math. He really enjoys his job and has excelled over the years. He loves the challenge and comes home happy. I think if you don’t have that it can drain you a lot.
I was the super loyal and emotionally attached wife. He was always too busy and I was left to manage on my own which was so painful. I remember working full Time and coming home - getting kids from day car and later school after care, putting kids to bed as if I were a single mother - only with a great income. It got to the point where after 20 years I had been forced to emotionally detach completely and I did. He wanted me to change careers to make things easier for him. I didn’t want to be emotionally connected anymore to him. I had pulled back so much and I had become so independent. I suggested counseling - we went to 3 different marital Counselors and Instead of wanting to fix things with me he clamped down on control. That led to physically abusive episodes at home with him physically abusing the kids and I. That was it - for me - we separated pre pandemic in 2019 and our divorce was final In early 2023.
I'm that first woman, but i also support my man in all he does and even his sometimes weekly business trips. It gets hard but he provides a life i dreamt and prayed for, i stay home and care for our home and family and homeschool our children and when he's home he's all in. He's such a wonderful husband and Daddy. I am truly blessed.
@@theartificialrealms🤔 I'm a hermit so I'm pretty sure that has a lot to do with it and I live in a small town with less than 6,000 people and I know most of them. My town is where dreams go to die. 🥺it's so sad it's comical. 😅😭💀I'll be alright. Thanks for the psychoanalysis tho. 💛😅
@@danaluha5019 Well you live next to other towns. And frankly, if you wanted it enough you'd go find it. But it is some work. Do you go to whatever gym is near by? It's a water hole at least in which you're bound to get some attention if you are relatively fit. Just an idea, at the worst you work out. Or church, perhaps convert if you don't like the selection hahaha.
The guy i dated treated me poorly but gave his secretary flowers and other females attention, gifts, comfort and empathy. I got dismissed.. I think i dodged a bullet when he ended it.
Insecure man who needs attention from a lot of women. He was emotionally detached, too, wasn't he? Because he doesn't really know how to emotionally connect.
Yeah when i would voice my concerns about these woman he would just dismiss or say ' i've made a massive mistake' over phone ( a way of saying sorry?) While with text he would copy an apology text from the internet.. while i confronted him, he would laugh : ' i thought you wouldn't find out"
Basically, Bros be sabotaging themselves. Want a perfect loving stay at home wife. And then don’t stay at home and attend the household and relationship matters themselves. And then their needs aren’t met. Big surprise.
Yeah 2 people staying at home all the sounds like it will work out fine 😅. Want to know a funny stat, when female doctors work more, they get divorced more. When male doctors work more, they get divorced less.
Amen. This takes learning specially for women who just are giving by nature. Maybe it’s good to have healthy levels of detachment so the woman can also be a fully developed citizen of the world instead of just being a successful man’s support system. She can be born with healthy detachment
Rather chase excellence. Chase peace and tranquility. When you are at peace with the best version of yourself, you attract that. Too many people chase relationships thinking that will make them happy or approval of people that don't matter thinking that will make them happy.... But in the end none of it does and they'll die unhappy full of regret
Slight emotional detachment is good. Not overly detached. When my husband is away for work he knows that I will hold the fort until he returns home. He knows that I am present for our kids and not overly anxious waiting for his return. But when he comes home I always breathe a sigh of relief to have my partner back.
It's wonderful how these videos reduce people to one or two stereotypes.Real women can be both committed and loving and give their partners space.Trutg is if you have a partner you want them to participate,that's all.Sometimes they do the major share sometimes you and sometimes both of you.
@@vtbhoward They can given the husband is not negligent.Peopke who are super busy are avoiding one or more aspects of their lives.And no one can be happy with an avoidant person.But people can get superbusy at times and lean on their partners for understanding and support.Thebred flag is someone who is superbusy all the time.
My work requires me to work 6 months of 14 hour shifts at 6 days per week. Drive time TO AND FROM is one hour, 20 minutes (with moderate traffic). She is FANTASTIC! So great, loyal, loving and genuinely loves me. i worry about this every day. So far, she said nothing. I told her first chance I get I'm take taking a shift with better family/life-work balance. Financially things are very tight for us and I needed to take this job and it sucks. Had no choice though. Nothing else is avaliable. Success follows sacrifice and this leads to experience.
The difference with you is that you recognize it and want a better future for your family and will change it once you can. You get it, and that’s what matters, I’m sure your partner appreciates that.
@@rose-iv7vo thanks so much for your comment, your insight. I'm worrying so much. However, your kind words and soothing advice helps. Thank you and yes, I believe me knowing as well really does help
I prioritize family matters 1st. I want my husband to be at home to play, have conversation with kids and me. busy man even though he's rich, hanging out everyday with his friends everyday, come back late everyday, I just feel like not match my needs.
Psalm 29:10-11 The LORD sat enthroned at the Flood, And the LORD sits as King forever. The LORD will give strength to His people; The LORD will bless His people with peace.
We were both emotionally detached, I was gone months, and we talked multiple times a day. Once we were together, it was delightful. However, I now see our issue.
The only key I’ve learned is just being busy yourself. Not a fake busy like pretending but finding projects that fulfill you, obligations in your community that take up your time etc.
My man would be gone for months, and even though I talked to him all day, him not being around drove me crazy. When he finally I got home, I didn't want anyone else around him. This is true. Now he's with someone who doesn't care. 😢... But,I'm ok.
Omg you've given me a lightbulb moment!! I realise I do this. Because I dont get much time with my partner, i really feel resentful about other people that get his time 😢
I’ve felt both. My husband not being home much makes me lose care for him. When he’s home, I want him home, and grow even more care for him. Long business trips or jobs that require him to not come home at night are not an option. At that point you might as well be single.
Mola Ali a.s said : Detachment is not that you should own nothing but that nothing should own you ". He also said: "Things are for usage and people are for love the problem arises when the people are being used to attain things that are loved".
That’s me, loving but can disconnect and do my own thing. Probably explains in part my successful relationship with a serial entrepreneur. My father was very successful in an executive position, often away and stressed. But he loved me deeply and taught me many valuable things. He would bring me little treats hidden in his suitcase and we would have long conversations. Think I’m in exactly the relationship I was prepared to be in. I can wait for thé love and entertain myself, the time together is always coming and when it does, it’s lovely. Probably helps that my mother never complained.
I thought that now I am emotionally detached due the literally couple of relationships that wounded me decades ago, when the longing for the loved one started in my very first years of my life with my dad, quite similar to your case. Thanks to you, now I can connect so many dots... Wow...!!!
@@RosalbaMenesesEC so happy for this! Yes, I missed him but he never disappointed on his return. His work also provided high status, it’s often a trade off. Be well and happy!!
I was told I was needy as a guy... Then I started working like crazy and I'm always busy with something. Now when I'm alone I do not want to talk to anyone and everyone that is needy is annoying me and everyone who is detached I dont really care about. The key is in balance.
It took greed, pride, and being taken for granted for me to emotionally detached from my ex husband. I haven't found anyone that I feel comfortable enough to attach too. I just can't be that vulnerable. I know I am a greater partner. But the energy it takes to be one is more than I have. Especially when having children.
yah i was talking to a guy who claims he wants a strong independent woman who doesn't need him to meet her emotional needs and doesn't want to have to reassure her or take care of her in that way. says he needs 3 lifetimes to do all the things he needs to do. i hope that kind of man either gives up on relationships or does not expect a woman to be there for him and doing all the emotional heavy-lifting alone. Hurry up and make those fembots already. Some men desperately need them. Leave the women that want emotional connection for the men that also want it.
This makes so much sense. I have been married for 12 years, and my husband created a business during year 5. This has caused to become very busy. I started to develop anxiety and it seems to decipitate when he's around. I feel so safe around my husband, and I truly just love having him around. We have three son's as well so I could always use a hand. Thank you for this!
I don’t think it’s about a loyal woman not being able to cope with a man who’s busy and successful. Ultimately if the right foundation is in place, trust and loyalty will follow. The couple know they’re working towards the same goal and the sacrifice required to achieve it and they can and will prevail together.
I am that way and over many years women end up falling out of love anyway! You and either work hard in the relationship or the relationship will deteriorate!
@@yvonneschwartz3929the relationship is going to deteriorate if you continue to neglect the partner, if you neglect your relationship just worrying about money your relationship suffers. Then you lose your potential life partner. Cuz you took them for granted. Then you find someone that doesn’t care which is what you really deserve
This was interesting because when I started off in my relationship, I was the first part emotionally connected. I wanted all those things but didn't realize that was not what I was going to get with a service member. Over time I had to adjust to survive and became emotionally detached because I knew he could leave at anytime. It was grueling being emotionally connected and having to detach to not be a basket of anxiousness every time he left. When he left the military and spent a lot of time around the house ......I had become a complete Jekyll and Hyde. I would encourage him to take jobs overseas and travel. When I finally realized he began the relationship with emotional avoidance and the military lifestyle changed my attachment style. We had no chance in hell to make it past 20 years. The longer he was home as a civilian the worse it got, I actually believed we would finally go back to 20 years ago and I could be emotionally connected again and have a partial traditional life. It tanked hard, like the stock market in the 20's 😂. I know I'm going back to wanting a simple life, boring, relaxing, cheap 😂. My children have been raised and now its just maintenance as they navigate their own journey. When ever I take my last breath I just want to say I've been truly loved and shared life with a man who made it easy to navigate the occasional chaos. ❤Peace
I'm too needy and clingy, it can be stressful when the person you want isn't always there, its not practical though, better to learn to hold back your emotions, they sense it and take advantage (personal experience).
This describes me and my ex to a T! I'm the emotional lover girl and he is a super busy go go go person, it just couldn't mesh but I wish him well wherever he is now.
I guess i don't understand the woman who doesn't understand when her husband is putting in long hours out of the home so she doesnt have to, so they can have the life and dreams they share together. Now, what about the husband who puts in his time at work but would rather be with his friends than at home on his days off....i can see the anxiety and unappreciation there.
This is me with my boyfriend. He works alll the time and sometimes doesn’t even reply to my texts or answers my calls nor returns them. Sometimes he would make an effort but I communicated how I felt and now he makes a greater effort. If he heard me but didn’t listen and make an adjustment I’d leave him.
This woman spitts facts. 🎉 This is an absolute and utter truth and anything this lady says about this whole hookup culture we unfortunately live in - I agree without even listening to it (but I always listen to what she has to say). It applies to many relationships, straight and not and all I can add to her speeches is - ladies, take care of yourself. Choose a Sona over a drunk guy you picked up at a bar and will regret in the morning, invest in your skincare, read more, do yoga, believe in yourself. That's all. ❤❤
I feel this so hard. Especially when your man wants different things: one week he wants to be near you and close to you. And the next: he wants to go on vacation all alone. And I mean this is fine, but this type of women can be broken by those behavior. It feels like push and pull.
As a man, i respect this lady. She was my mirror and this lady just proves it further to me. These are hard truths about my life. I've been cheated on once but that pain pails in comparison to losing my loving loyal girl that i had after her by my own mistakes.
I hate the way social media has warped our vision of most men and women. The vast majority in REAL LIFE want loyal, loving and healthy relationships. Women don’t all want rich lifestyles. Having a comfortable life where you don’t constantly have to worry about finances is enough. Most of us want guys with jobs that don’t take up their entire time. I want a husband who can come home and put work aside and be present with me and my future kids. I want my kids to have a father around who adores them. I want a healthy and peaceful life with my family. If you have a good person in your life who prioritises you, don’t be a fool and ruin it. My ex husband was a narcissist with a personality disorder. He was abusive in every way and I’m glad I got out alive and early. You sometimes come across individuals like this but don’t let it ruin how you perceive their gender. Not all men are cheaters and not all women are gold diggers.
Too loving. ...indicates insecure feeling or high levels of super ego(morals) or super egoistic. Life itself gives anything conditionally. Loving unconditionally contradicting to nature laws. So, too loving or unconditional love never works.. Fails definitely. So, always be Consious about what you are giving or taking, that keeps other people mentally healthy and they don't develop subconscious feeling of 'take it for granted ' about you. This is a working formula for all or any relationships . Develop consciousness and keep the self mentally and physically healthy, dare to say 'No ' Life is impossible without hurdles.... But don't invest or lose psychological and physical energies , don't give chance to be exploited by someone who doesn't value your life. Don't make your life as a food for disloyal fellows .
men trained loving and emotionally connected women to be cold and uncaring. Now these women want nothing to do with men because they realize it's all one sided. and the men are crying they can't find women to marry.
I'm emotionally attached. I dont want to be but I have BPD. I had 12 years of intensive therapy and it got rid of alot of symptoms but I do need that attachment. What do you do when you need that? I don't think I can change it, I've tried and it makes me miserable 😢 I have never cared about money, I'd happily live in a cave. I live in the UK so both partners work so I dont mind us doing our work and have that distance but I would like time together most of the time. Even if it means he's somewhere in the house doing his own thing. I've always observed great husbands and wanted it myself. Even my CPN would answer his phone in the middle of my appointments to his wife and tell her he loved her. I was in awe because I didn't know men did that
I was the first type and got severly hurt by my ex. Now I don't care anymore! You can do what ever you want but don't expect me to take care of you in return... cause I won't!!
It’s a partnership, if you want a loving woman she’s going to want to see you be with you, love you nurture you. If you don’t want that than find a woman that’s emotionally detached and independent. You have to know what you want if not it won’t work out.
This is so spot on for me. And where I’ve never been in high value men circles nor dated one, I also know that im the woman that wanted a regular, everyday life kind of family. Im average, my husband’s average, and we have a wonderful son who excels because we’re regular people.
Naw, men just gotta learn to handle their shit and do so effortlessly. Evolve or die, but don't put that stress on the relationship. It's all aikido, all the aspects of life flowing from one to another. Be like water 🧘♂️ You get the same 24hrs in the day as Dewayne the Rock Johnson or Elon Musk, and they're out there building billion dollar businesses with a bunch of kids. We all get the same amount of time in the day, it's what you do with it. A little bit of thoughtful life engineering goes a long way.
Whoa Ms. Sadie you really are beyond lifting up your advice game today!!! What has really gotten into you??? Yes I have in recent years have become a major workaholic as I have also have put in tremendous effort progress on working on myself on and every level direction possible that kept me really busy more than normally simply exhausted in all ways. But I have started to realize this and started to focus on myself balancing out my personal life while keeping all my career options open even making music. The next relationship I am going to be in other than mutually our personal faith putting in my best efforts in putting her first in my life only my own needs wants more important. So for example Ms. Sadie I would most definitely make absolutely certain to make myself primarily available for who im with then my family friends etc. Now with myself and Missy my true love she never could put me first in her life at all not even on a personal basis but however I foolishly immaturely continued to always put her almost on a fucking pedestal that truth be told she not once has ever earned deserved completely one sided.
What about the men that are also involved with them? Both are causing this huge problem. It’s these men that are sleeping around with so many women then complain that women are promiscuous, bro you are in the same boat, emotionally dead. You are on primal autopilot, no discipline, no self-control. If everything for you is easy then you will never ever respect it
Me. I'm insanely loyal. Now show me a man who is super loyal. I've not met one. I'm sure there are loyal guys out there. I'm not close minded like you to think that my experience means that all men are trash
If you want a woman to wait for you without you making an effort for her and thinking about her emotional needs, but want her to still be loving, without her being loved back the way she wants, it won’t work. That’s why Hollywood couples never work out most of the time. They’re always busy, both emotionally independent.
I was the loyal, honest, communicative woman. I was submissive, trusting, ect. And he took full advantage of all that. Now, i dont even date, because the level of abuse that took place during that time.
I can't remember when was the last time my husband and I ate a meal separate from each other. Never slept in different beds and I still miss him even if we work together. I dunno but just being around him makes me feel we are in this together, T O G E T H E R!
Thats like most women. Loyal or not. Clinginess has nothing to do with loyalty. My dad was superbusy, mom got her hand full of us her kids to even be anxious about daddy being away. she never use him being away as an excuse to cheat.
I need you to share in the entire life we created - not just fund it… I agree I need you present - not for everything Granted you are busy but for almost half and being away stretches at a time does not equal that. You don’t have to attend but be there when we get home or at least be coming home most nights…. Idk each to their own
If a super loyal woman is also very smart and grateful, she will give her man the right amount of attention and affection. And she will find the way how to deal with her own feelings.
My gf is the one who’s emotionally connected while I’m more emotionally detached. When she hangs out with friends, it doesn’t bother me since I can focus on other things. If it was the other way around, she’ll have issues with me not being available “enough” for her. We both make at least or over 6 figures, but she has a house while I have student debt. I do work a lot sometimes because I’m trying to pay off my student loan debt while trying meet her half way with her desires to travel periodically. Plus, I’m trying to own property of my own since I’m currently living in her house. I moved in after my lease was up a year or two ago.
Yep, so true. I told my now ex bf that I wish I was one of those people who dont give a sh*t and can be cold and distant lol Caring hurts but I had to cut him loose because I was with the wrong man for me. There are too many lonely men in the world that wish they had someone who genuinely gave a d*amn about them and wont take that for granted than to be stuck on one that doesn't value a true loyal companion. Be safe out there!
Nope, not emotionally detached but emotionally fulfilled, and she doesn't need her husband around 24/7. I'm that woman, so I know. I've been married for 22 years and going strong. I give my husband the space to build our business and a drama free home to come home to. I'm happy and not empty!
There Is such a thing as a balanced person. Why does everyone always act like it's always gotta be one or the other? I crave affection, connection and closeness but I also like time alone and can be fiercely independent at times. And I don't mean bullishly so, demanding my own way all the time and never knowing how to follow a man's lead. I just mean I like to go off on my own sometimes and enjoy things for just myself and I got zero problems letting a partner I trust do the same.
