Understanding EMOTIONAL DETACHMENT: the key to resilience

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Emotional detachment is perhaps the most essential emotional survival strategy. Without it, you resign yourself to ride the emotional roller coaster: at the mercy of the ever-shifting whims of fate. However, emotional detachment is often misunderstood. In this episode, I will discuss what it is and what it isn't. Master this skill, and you'll be able to swim in even the deepest waters.
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Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world.
#psychology #emotional #resilience

Опубликовано:

30 ноя 2023

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Комментарии : 399

@naturalforlife6741 7 месяцев назад

There is always a period of time for mourning of the death of love. Men seem to commit their love to someone. That commitment is a deep emotional part of him as a gift to that person. When that love ends, it's like a death that needs a period of mourning. Even when you know that the end of a relationship is better for you, it still takes time to get past it, even when you are happier.

@Mysteri0usMem0 7 месяцев назад

i think some men, like myself had such a beautiful person as a mother, loosing them is the ultimate loss, my wife and no one will love me as much as that beautiful woman. i have just lost her. i love life and will continue until its end, I dont have room in my heart anymore for another bond of this magnitude. but it is okay.

@neomacchio4692 7 месяцев назад

A wise man once told me: The realities of romantic love is: for men, there are only 2 women that aren’t cunts. Your mother and your daughter. Is he right? 🤔

@jonwilkinson3886 7 месяцев назад

@@neomacchio4692Sorry - My mum was a C.

@humlakullen 7 месяцев назад

Lol.. Something tells me “cold” and stoic Scandinavian people will probably understand your message better than passionate Latin people;-).

@edluckenbill9382 7 месяцев назад

Stoics were great . Sound like you know what they taught .

@ntl219 7 месяцев назад

People use emotions to make decisions and use logic to rationalize their choices. Thank you Dr. Orion for this valuable reminder.

@kwekubrewammuako-annan862 7 месяцев назад

Insightful!

@doggychops7304 7 месяцев назад

Correction women (not men) use emotions to make decisions and use logic to rationalize their choices.

@Anonymous-yh4ol 7 месяцев назад

@@doggychops7304Generally, everyone does that with everything.

@JoseRRodriguez 7 месяцев назад

@@doggychops7304men also

@jodypritchard5425 7 месяцев назад

Logic is different from rationalisation which isn't concerned with the truth, so in fact they often if not usually conflict with most people. As most people aren't interested in the truth.

@budbas 7 месяцев назад

Be an observer of your emotion. Understand why it feels hurt or happy. Do not sway away of it and do not reject it. Understand it.

@GratefulZen 2 месяца назад

We are like method actors who initially know we’re playing a role but get caught up in the identity of the character we’re playing, in a script (written by the writer/creator) we had no part in writing.

@ranc1977 10 дней назад

@@GratefulZen I would add - that toxic people, dark triad, manipulators, psychopaths and sociopaths of all kinds - push us into emotional fusion. This needs to be said.

@kathleenschaefer9023 19 дней назад

Thanks! So wise. I have studied the Buddhist teachings on letting go. It does take a strong self-discipline to be aware when those emotions well up, but possible with practice, like you say. Thank you for your messages. I listen and share your videos. You have an amazing mind!! I love listening to you because of your incredible intelligence and your ability to convey your thoughts so effectively.

@vladimirandreevich 7 месяцев назад

I'm not a THING, I'm a PROCESS. That's the most important revelation I've ever had.

@bryanutility9609 3 месяца назад

I like the concept “We don’t just have a body, we are somebody”. -Stanley Milgram

@thefranticteacher2507 7 месяцев назад

I have been applying your techniques and wisdom for the past year and i have obtained results more effectively than many therapy sessions. My emotions and relationships are more in tune with my life and its goals. Thank you.

@brettconnolly399 Месяц назад

Same. This might be the most helpful channel I've found on RU-vid for personal growth. It's been helping me immensely.

@josephbrady4052 7 месяцев назад

Thanks!

@Guildofarcanelore 7 месяцев назад

This is a message I really needed to hear today. I’m coming up on the two year anniversary of a stroke that has robbed me of my mobility and independence and wrestling with my emotions has become a constant task. There are times I wish I had not survived to be a burden to my family I know I should be grateful to still be on this side of the “dirt nap” that we all have coming, but in truth I feel so diminished. Thank you for a new strategy.

@thehollyduckie9002 7 месяцев назад

Hope there are better times to call brother just know you are loved stay strong love from houston!

@michelledee2586 7 месяцев назад

Was it from the vax? You are not alone many people got injured.

@Guildofarcanelore 7 месяцев назад

@@michelledee2586 I don’t really know for sure. I was vaccinated, but whether that was a cause or not is inconclusive. I was 57, and negotiating with a school to return to China and teach. If it had to happen I’m glad it didn’t happen there, or else I would for sure be dead. So instead of doing what I want, I do what I can. Instead of having a big life that meant traveling the world, I have an exceptionally small life.

@leviathon2 7 месяцев назад

It happened to my brother two years ago. A very bad stroke. I’m watching him recover, very slowly, but he now gets the maximum amount of pleasure from the small things. He is committed to the fight and he makes progress. He was 50.

@Guildofarcanelore 7 месяцев назад

@@leviathon2 please wish your brother well for me.

@toadman5184 7 месяцев назад

I see my emotions like a sea, sometimes calm and sometimes with giant waves. Emotional detachment for me is about surfing upon the waves, I try to ride them by maintaining control. The bigger the wave, the harder it is to not topple into the water. If you don't learn to surf or float, you will eventually drown in them. No-one can swim forever!

@ranc1977 10 дней назад

I would add -there is tsunami sometimes. We need to know that toxic people are tsunami - and we need radar and technology to pick up red flags to avoid earthquake prone areas in life.

@ranc1977 10 дней назад

Amazing message. I would add that narcissistic abuse, mobbing, lack of money, lack of shelter, lack of security, ACE and ACoA - mess this attachment process up big time. First of all - people went through long term harassments - probably since childhood have learned and been programmed to be emotional fusion. So this information about Emotional Detachment is like talking space technology to cavemen - it will sound futuristic and unreal and miss many components needed to know what has been said. This means - many people will confuse emotional detachment with dissociation or as you call it emotional amputation - so it is great that you made clear distinction - as I see in the comments here - people are already mixing up dissociation with emotional detachment. My point is - when we actually do emotionally detach - if we have toxic people around us - they will attack us for it. Toxic people like us to be scared and hypervigilant and that we emotionally respond to their abuse. This needs to be said.

@simonf7367 7 месяцев назад

Feeling the heat from the fire, rather than being on fire.

@TheJoaneD 7 месяцев назад

Much appreciated that there is no background music. Good video, thank you.

@Onnitfan1 4 месяца назад

Yes!! I cannot stand background music.

@ranc1977 10 дней назад

@@Onnitfan1 So.. you are emotionally fused with background music.

@Ja50nkAt 7 месяцев назад

Man this guy blew up fast in the last 12 months, subbed when he was under 10k. Good stuff 💯

@Jay-bu6cd 7 месяцев назад

He is the wisest I ever heard

@juancruzlives 7 месяцев назад

emotional detachment: while accessing the information of your emotions, you don't cling to them. while feeling the emotions in your body, you have the ability to analyze and control them. you will learn to let things come and go without experiencing an uncontrollable roller-coaster of emotions. you will live more vividly and will feel deeply. emotional intelligence is the key factor for overall success, in any aspect of your life

@adarshachatterjee493 7 месяцев назад

Very interesting topic. I am right now going through an unhappy phase of my life. And I was trying to completely shut myself down emotionally. I just realised I was wrong in doing so.

@mdhazeldine 7 месяцев назад

Interesting. I'd never considered before that emotions HELP you make decisions. I always felt they got in the way of thinking logically.

@ranc1977 10 дней назад

Yin Yang. We need logic and heart to be complete.

@CristianSanchez-bh9yc 7 месяцев назад

Thank you for putting your wisdom somewhere so accessible, I've slowly and carefully been implementing a lot of your tips in my life, and there has not been one negative outcome and found all the positive, it’s also allowed me to be more aware. Im only 18 but I couldn't thank you enough.

@lighttu 4 месяца назад

this is a really late comment but i just wanted to say that it makes me happy hearing you’re pretty young and seeing that you’re developing such a healthy mindset. im 24 and found content similiar to this around your age and i kind of felt isolated since no other guys around me discovered this stuff. not that the guys around me needed to be exposed to it, or maybe they were and i just didnt know, but you get the gist. anyways i just wanted to really say kudos to you man and good luck in life, im sure you’ll make it far🙌🏻

@LasNotLos 7 месяцев назад

This is quickly becoming my favorite channel. This is what MEN need. Practical examples as well as practical methods of implementing the changes moving forward

@ranc1977 10 дней назад

Subscribed immediately.

@josephBal149 Месяц назад

Wisdom. Thanks again.

@cliffthecoolcat 7 месяцев назад

For a couple of seconds I almost let loose today. Ive been working a lot. I bought a new TV and I was selling my old one for super cheap. People are so annoying. They wanted it even cheaper. I almost picked it up and smashed it in front of the guy. Smashing it was flashing my mind and the energy was jolting down my veins but I stopped it. The guy bought the TV and even sent an email thanking me.

@marktapley7571 7 месяцев назад

No matter how good a deal is, lots of people will still try to Jew you down. That’d just the way it is.

@zuibeckpulezon4626 7 месяцев назад

You're lost. You're very emotional. When selling used stuff ANYTHING YOU GET ABOVE $0.00 IS A WIN..don't benchmark against what you bought it .. benchmark against what you would get if you take it to goodwill or thrash it .and that's $0.00

@cliffthecoolcat 7 месяцев назад

@@zuibeckpulezon4626 LoL yeah, I get that but the stupid TV was taking me away from work that pays more so I was becoming angry that my time was wasted dealing with f tard.

@bryanutility9609 3 месяца назад

I always give EBay price. If you are confident enough in your negotiation & willing to leave you should be fine. I’m terrible at deal making, much less under stress from work. Tv sucks tho should have smashed it on principle.

@ranc1977 10 дней назад

People who buy second hand TV do not have money - probably do not have money for food all through the week. Keep that in mind, too.

@johannesdolch 10 дней назад

Self importance is the root of all problems

@mwphil 7 месяцев назад

Thanks for this, Dr. Tarban! it really clicked for me. Especially after your talk on "how to LOVE WITHOUT emotional ATTACHMENT". 👍

@terry9238 4 месяца назад

To “love without emotional attachment” is just plain impossible. It would be a contradiction in terms! Instructions like these shouldn’t be taken literally. They’re like Zen koans-interesting thought experiments, but not realistic guidelines for everyday life.

@kelschc 7 месяцев назад

Really insightful. This is something I have struggled with most of my adult life. I’ve tried to observe my thoughts and emotions almost as a third (second?) party observer would, and while I think that has kept me out of a lot of trouble and harmful relationships and situations, I also wonder if I haven’t played it too safe, crossing over into “avoidance” territory, missing out on opportunities and relationships and adventures. As Dr. Taraban notes, it is a balance. Great video.

@MKULTRA_Victim_ 7 месяцев назад

Striking a balance is hard.

@migram4190 6 месяцев назад

@@MKULTRA_Victim_this is the goal that needs much tenacity.

@kond1 7 месяцев назад

You dropped some heavy gems in this one. Thank you for this. It's a perpetually relevant message for people to hear

@diloom34 6 месяцев назад

I love and appreciate his way of explaining things!

@driversuz44 7 месяцев назад

Thank you. This *does* reflect my experience, and my conclusions. For (blah-blah-blah) reasons, I've spent much of my life suppressing too many emotions, and wondering why I even have to deal with the pesky things. I view emotions as chemical reactions in the brain which occur in response to stimuli, but they can and should be held apart from conscious thought. "Listen to your gut," means your gut is telling that something is wrong (or right) but it can't tell you what is wrong, or why. That is for your conscious (and/or subconscious) mind to figure out using the most logical criteria possible. Deciding how to act in response to the stimuli, is also the responsibility of your conscious mind. I'm now learning to feel, understand, and express my emotions, and I've realized that they have no inherent meaning. The only meaning (as opposed to purpose) they have, is the meaning I give them. As I explore them, I try to focus on the specific events or people attached to them in my past experiences. Sometimes I find very clear memories associated with an emotion, but more often I find past emotions associated with only vague mental images. I think what this means, is that the "meaning" of each my emotions evolves over the years of experiences and stimuli. The only objective aspect of them is their physiology, so I need to learn to let go of my need to find objective meaning within them. I need to learn to *acknowledge* my gut, while using my objective experiences to decide how to respond to whatever it tells me. I guess that's the "middle ground," and I probably need to learn to trust the judgement I've developed through experience. Sorry for rambling...

@ryanlazo9028 7 месяцев назад

This was an exceptionally helpful, more detailed description of loving without emotional attachment. Thank you as always Doc.

@maritamaltezaki8588 7 месяцев назад

You approach such a sensitive topic sooooooo well! The swimming analogy is perfect!

@yeisonportillo22 7 месяцев назад

Thanks Orion, your episodes always get to me when I'm trying to figure out things that happen to me. I'm apparently seem to be quite emotional detached to ex girlfriend according to her as I always remain calmed when we were basically talking about breaking up in multiple occasions or when we're not on the same page. Inside I felt the emotions and fear circulating my body but I managed to control quite well this in many aspects of life. Sometimes I wonder If I'm too emotional detached from people and if this is something that will hit me hard in the future, but as you said, everything will be taken from us or will move on as some point, try to enjoy in the present... This video really helped feel better about these wonders of mine❤

@daniliotaloma 7 месяцев назад

A great video and reminder. Thanks plenty Dr. Taraban!

@SaltedHope 7 месяцев назад

This is absolutely the advice men of today need to hear. 🔥🙌

@tonya5468 3 месяца назад

Hi Orion, I just wanted to say thank you for your consistently well-thought contributions to the public discourse. Achieving such a high level of quality with such consistency is very impressive and quite helpful.

@Spider_7_7 7 месяцев назад

Outstanding! Thanks Doc and God bless you! 👏

@StevenSnow-ln4qo 5 месяцев назад

A most excellent description of emotional detachment and the role emotions play in decision-making. Thank you.

@SKBottom 7 месяцев назад

Thank you for clarifying this.

@Ponytown00 7 месяцев назад

This was one of my favorites yet. Beautiful way to convey this intersecting wisdom from a deep understanding of Buddhism + psychology.

@criandoclientes-acienciahu3958 3 месяца назад

Wow! You just convince me to be more emotional detached and also appreciate others that are more distant of their own emotions without seeing them like ETs. Thank you very much. Greetings from Brazil

@skulpzilla2051 7 месяцев назад

Love the perspective, excellent, well spoke.

@benjaminstutzman3171 7 месяцев назад

Recent "tip" is a small token of the value I received from the trilogy of "how to get any man" series. These are THE most valuable and concise guidance on what a man on his own program looks for from his partner. THANK YOU!

@iggi1972 7 месяцев назад

Wow such well balanced and non-trivial information! Thank you for your work!

@matthewtalks2970 7 месяцев назад

Finally someone addresses what true emotional maturity is. not emotional fushion like a kid, but also not like a toxic jack in the box. Thank you

@JohnLeo-xx9kv 7 месяцев назад

i like your genuineness of speaking truth.

@RexChentheking 7 месяцев назад

I’ve watch so many of your lessons and this one is the most enlightening one and put into words the practice of that I stumbled on a couple years ago. It’s always a daily battle and practice but the moments of being still in the moments of chaos around me, remind me in that moment the absolute value in that still awareness. Keep on keeping on Doc, thanks for the wisdom.

@davidthomspson9771 7 месяцев назад

Perfectly explained,hard lesson to learn and transition to....especially late in life.Never too late to learn it

@Anonymous-yh4ol 7 месяцев назад

Wow! Priceless! Dr. Orion Taraban yet again with the "Bars!". Much appreciation for sharing your insights. Thank you yet again for another invaluable gem 💎. I can't wait for your book. I will be definitely purchasing immediately.

@chickenbroski99 7 месяцев назад

That's very interesting. Emotions are almost like a motor to get you to move through life and make decisions. You don't always need to go along with them

@KRB84 7 месяцев назад

One of my favorites Team Taraban 🙏

@jennyalayon-nn1fb 6 месяцев назад

I love love all your videos, I am so happy this is a skill that I already mastered very well, and I love it, its so useful for life. As you say nothing belong to us, nothing is permanent, just enjoy life, live as best as we can!!! Thank you for this amazing content that help us to live in a better way.

@davidjohnbretzke3613 4 месяца назад

Thanks! Great words. Now to cling to them until they are autonomic. I really appreciate your work and professionalism in your channel.

@effy6920 2 месяца назад

Beautifully said❤ you’re like a philosopher psychologist

@robm8067 7 месяцев назад

👍 ❤Probably one of your most important videos because it’s practice can be used in any situation: family, career, love, heath care etc.

@pianoalquimia 7 месяцев назад

Your wisdom is very helpful as always. Thanks Doc!

@SwainBjornstrandt 7 месяцев назад

I think I needed to hear this. Thank you so much.

@User-zy5io 7 месяцев назад

The Hindu scripture Bhagavad Gita talks about emotional detachment. Krishna teaches in the Gita (Chapter 2, Verse 47): "You have the right to perform your prescribed duty, but you are not entitled to the fruits of your actions. Never consider yourself the cause of the results of your activities, and never be attached to not doing your duty."

@rickyc46 Месяц назад

Really insightful follow-up! Emotions as heuristics is really good.

@biondna7984 5 месяцев назад

Emotional detachment is definitely a skill I want to cultivate. Thanks.

@jdpainting3270 6 месяцев назад

this talk has been an epic understanding thank you.

@BigConqueror 2 месяца назад

I'll tell you this for free, for a month or two now i have been listening to the great Alan Watts for wisdom on detachment and letting go, i couldnt wrap my head around what to do still. But listening to this man's one video right here gives me everything ive ever needed to know about really just detaching from my emotions and being a more stoic man. God bless you Orion, remain on your throne king 🙏🏽

@araxia7205 7 месяцев назад

A very insightful episode , thanks Dr. Taraban 👌🏻😊

@ronnydelacruzYT 7 месяцев назад

Thank you Dr. Orion for sharing this valuable information

@om4real 3 месяца назад

Whenever I had emotional detachment.. I felt numb always.. when he gave that example about the cereal I couldn’t really relate, you feel like it’s pointless to even get cereal so you end up not even going to the store. Emotions give life reason, but they need to be kept under control like he said.. I believe the detachment from my emotions was a great lesson learned because now after I regained them with medication and healthy lifestyle, completely off medication for 2 years.. I go about life scanning my emotions and justifying them before anything.. because when I lived without them I made decisions based on the true value it would bring me. I may not feel better but I will certainly gain something out of it. Helped with quitting a job I hated ended up getting a huge raise to stay with less responsibilities.. since I had no fear I easily took action. So yeah that’s my 2 cents. I love this guy he has some excellent content👍🏾

@sebastianjaramillo3645 7 месяцев назад

Absolutely brilliant.

@gb1style 7 месяцев назад

I’m happy to notice that I have some psyhacks in me I use to tell people to split E-Motion to understand the deep meaning behind Energy in Motion Huge amount of informations That is helpful when we train to channel it instead of being bullied by it Thank you it’s insightful

@MagusKali 6 месяцев назад

There was a time in my life when i had to learn to turn my emotions off just to get through the day, and i never learned how to turn them back on because of how much i depended on that skill. It's definitely a struggle to find peace when you're trying to learn how to feel again.

@leopepi834 2 месяца назад

Exactly, good comment!

@drmatthewhorkey 7 месяцев назад

Very buddhist concept, observing the emotions and drawing wisdom from them yet not attaching to them and understanding they aren’t exclusive to you. Thanks for another great episode

@John-qt3vt 7 месяцев назад

Glad there is an update.

@bathlar 7 месяцев назад

The video being 11:11 long truly add more vibe to it.

@Bazzguit 6 месяцев назад

Wow that sand analogy is mind-blowing

@albertvirgil4471 7 месяцев назад

Dr. You are awesome!

@mingghuiitann 7 месяцев назад

I’d really like to say thank you for making this video. I have been struggling to understand this topic. I now know, i am swimming but i am not the body of water. 🌊 Merry Christmas to you and to everyone who sees this 🎄

@seewhyaneyesee 7 месяцев назад

Dr. Orion’s back to shed some wisdom.

@WoziduranJahemter 7 месяцев назад

Awesomely said.

@abdessadaksallam626 7 месяцев назад

l follow you since a year now. always throwing wisdom and practical ideas. greeting from Morocco.

@JonathanJoachim-ix7yw 6 месяцев назад

Letting Go by Dr. Hawkins, great read in regards to surrender and emotional detachment

@shooter7693 7 месяцев назад

❤❤❤your is the only channel which I need whenever I am in delimma

@kingbonifaciolujan8097 3 месяца назад

I just want to say thank you for this video is my first time on your channel a friend sent me this video and it spoke to me thank you sir.......

@60seconds529 7 месяцев назад

Great content and clarity, thank you

@alexandrelhuillier7781 7 месяцев назад

Really great video ! Thank you.

@isabelvalentine 2 месяца назад

You may have just changed my life. Thanks

@RTFLDGR 7 месяцев назад

I have to listen to this lesson again.

@andreikpersonalfamily4403 7 месяцев назад

Thank you for referring to the limbic centers experiment. I've heard about it long ago but forgot the source, plus had heard times to apply it.

@ginnykemerer2708 7 месяцев назад

Great explanation, thank you.

@idiot4always 7 месяцев назад

Damn, incredibly well nuanced talk. Also really interresting metaphor of holding sand.

@migram4190 7 месяцев назад

I need to hear this. Thank you

@lostone982 6 месяцев назад

Incredibly important to recognize emotions as information to how one understands reality, but then to realize that's as far as they go. They are based on understandings and interpretations which gives one fuel for self work and decision making. Not to be induced in shame or believed as truth.

@gabriellamclellan1102 7 месяцев назад

So well spoken..💯

@fanaticfloyd 7 месяцев назад

I teach people the direct tools to do this. Im also a psychologist, but I live in Denmark. Hilarious you brought this topic up. This tool is also the nr. 1# to being an absolute god! with women and pickup. ☺ best regards