English Cover【JubyPhonic】Perfectionist Complex 完全性コンプレックス

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▶▶ Support me! / jubyphonic
Another very honest song that I love on whole different level right now.
I loved singing it and I hope you like hearing it.ヾ(´･ω･｀)
Original: www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm15451176
✪✪✪✪ ANYONE CAN USE MY LYRICS! Just credit me if you can! ✪✪✪✪
**I own nothing except my voice and the english lyrics!
---Contact Me---
★ Say "Wassup!" on facebook
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★ Follow me on twitter
/ jubyphonic_p
★ Email me
jubyphonics@gmail.com
----Mp3 Links----
✪ Mp3 Download ✪
www.4shared.com/mp3/jHsw9Kw2/P...
www.mediafire.com/?7o0fzww7yzw...
✪ Karaoke Download ✪
www.mediafire.com/?acyc1wg0j8d...
------LYRICS------
From morning til midnight I cant find a reason
This world keeps on turning without a single motive
The value of this life results to nothing much
Even if I were to die nothing would change
If it didn't matter either way then I would stay
I'd choose life and I would die another day
Because I know right now if I were to die
I would rather leave a bit of me behind
And I'm terrified, the future is unclear
In my own eyes, the past is dark
"Why wont you go? It hurts so much."
Wish my feelings would all be thrown all away
If it didn't matter either way then both the same
I would laugh so I could cry another day
And because of that I know if I'm alone
I would rather laugh my time all away
I wont love myself unless I am
Flawless in every single thing I do
Hesitating only shows how weakly you are
Feelings only just get in the way
So then maybe your in pain because you cant get back up now
And you cant seem to be taking anymore
Although emotions seem unnecessary
Can you not feel something warm inside the tears
Something way too hard to see, and always wobbly
I think we all call it something like a "heart"
If it didn't matter either way, I'd never stray
So I 'd see if it worth was my while to stay
Whether not I would cry today or maybe I'd laugh it all away
I know I'd love that small life of mine the same
And even you
Never need to try and be someone else
Just be you
"It's all fine." "Am I fine?" "You're just fine."
"And in time, you will find, you're just fine."

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Опубликовано:

11 авг 2012

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Комментарии : 493

@KarkatVantas-omfhi- 9 лет назад

_''Even if I were to die, nothing would change._''

@yuukai9614 6 лет назад

And these words are one of my fears

@hoshi.X_X 5 лет назад

I wish it was true for me...

@lenaalt2387 4 года назад

oh no please don't remind me

@defaultname8053 7 лет назад

I think this song is very much up to interpretation. I understand the whole "perfectionist" thing, and perhaps the person was a perfectionist, but the song really screams depression to me. It sounds like someone battling suicidal thoughts, although they do it with a clear mind. They understand there's a chance their life can get better, so they're willing to take the risk and live on, whether or not they'll be happy they did, they wouldn't know unless they tried. After all, being a perfectionist, why would you leave something like your life unfinished? "If it didn't matter either way, I'd never stray; so i'd see if it worth was my while to stay"

@anounyoumissed4073 7 лет назад

I think its actually fairly common for people with perfectionist tendencies to also have depression. Not being able to live up to overly high self-set expectations could easily lead to deteriorating will and self-worth. Even small mistakes seem like critical errors, and people will often beat themselves up over the little things. "I wont love myself unless I am flawless in every single thing I do" sums it up very well.

@Theholyspiritamen 7 лет назад

I think most ppl with depression have perfectionist tendencies. I think I am a bit if a perfectionist tbh cause my dad always needs everything perfect I started holding the same ways(totally forgot the word I was gonna yous there) but I more am I perfectionist on myself then other ppl or things around me lol

@wolverfish1007 5 лет назад

Many times it is that way. I am a perfectionist and have struggled with it for my entire life. When everything that you do is wrong or terribly done it becomes hard to see any light in life. It is like depression except you fully realize that you are depressed. Many times I wish that I could just leave it all behind except that if I do then I will never have done anything useful. "I know right now, if I were to die I would rather leave a bit of me behind." Life is about emotion but when all you do is rationalize everything into a logical ideology, it becomes monotonous. Painful even.

@OwlpoAnimations 4 года назад

that’s what perfectionism is. You want your best to the point that you don’t care about your mental well-being. Perfectionist feel like they aren’t worth anything unless they themselves deem themselves worthy, even though they will never be perfect. I am a perfectionist and it is borderline depression but with the hope that you can still do something.

@devidelicia2862 7 лет назад

This is deep, this song describes how it is actually horrible to live as a perfectionist, you never really satisfied, you hate it when you didn't do enough, you are afraid of being a failure and it will lead you to depression, anxiety, etc. but in this song it's described that this person choose to live on because somehow this person still believe she/he will be fine eventually in the future.

@L0ver0fHumanity 8 лет назад

My favorite line will always be this: "I won't love myself unless I am flawless in every single thing I do."

@va1439 8 лет назад

"Hesitating only shows how weakly you are, Feelings only just get in the way" "So then maybe your in pain and you can't get back up now and you can't seem to be taking anymore"

@SunsetCharmTwilight 8 лет назад

"Wish my feelings would all be thrown away"

@markaquino7348 7 лет назад

''Whether i would cry a day or maybe i'd laugh it all away, i know i love that small life of mine the same.''

@idiotmizu4710 7 лет назад

This is mine, Idk why I just feel like I can't feeling something warm inside my tears"Can you not feel something warm inside the tears"

@keiwood5744 7 лет назад

"Cause I know right now that if I were to die I would rather leave a bit of me behind"

@AkwardPoptarts 10 лет назад

In my few years of being here, you know in my home, I've heard many things. I've heard people say that my generation is, how say, too immersed in techy things and more interested in screens than actual things. They say that tech makes people 'anti-social', but it also brings people together. It allows people (like myself) who trip over their own words and who are afraid to speak for fear of messing up, to just talk with others and be able to be social. Sure sometimes people hide behind masks of pixles and such, but that opens many doors. I've heard people say that my generation is too 'now, now, now' and always keeping up with things. Without that, people wouldn't be bustling all around us, saying kind things and speaking (or singing in this case) their minds. It lets people know right away that somebody appreciates something you have done, or they like something you did. It helps to encourage others. I've heard people say one thing that is true abou this generation of mine. I've heard people say that we have a bright future. Almost as bright as the light from the screens everybody is reading this on. : )

@ichigomaster98 10 лет назад

I don't think i've ever given a like to a comment but you definitely deserve it, have a very good day :D

@AkwardPoptarts 10 лет назад

thanks : 3

@littlebird5999 10 лет назад

A bright future? that isn't what I hear, but I just live my life and think, 'i'll just kill myself if things ever get as bad as they talk about' which seems dark when i type it out...

@AkwardPoptarts 9 лет назад

please don't. remember that the pessimist says 'there's no light at the end of this tunnel' the optomist says 'there's a light at the end of this tunnel' but the realist says 'is that a train?' so really if things get worse, the best you can do is hang on to that train until you get out of that tunnel. things always get better, because when there's a low there's a high too.

@LilyCelebiFlipnote 9 лет назад

That One Weird Fandom In The Corner Over There It's g-great to... have people who can change lives... with t-typed words like you can... you have a true talent.

@Wed0kto_draws 8 лет назад

I believe people keep missing the deep meaning of songs. Personally, when i listen to this song, its about someone who doesn't love themselves and doesn't fit in. A person who wants to be "in the norm". To me, there is no specific definition to "normal". Like it is said by few, "What is normal to the spider, is chaos to the fly". So there is no normal.. People always miss that. They can't get pass there phones, and "popular" social groups. this song is not about being a perfectionist..... I believe its about daydreaming /of/ a perfect life.. but there is none... So that makes the days harder... Yes, it is hard being a perfectionist... I myself am one... Well, with my art at least.. But, either way... My point still stands.. have a nice day/night :)

@heavensdevil6943 8 лет назад

+Cronus Ampora i have to say, that is one of the more beutiful little "rants?" that ive read in awhile, and i do entirely agree with you, and i feel it makes this song all the more beutiful

@mbanana23456 8 лет назад

Ur meaning is wrong :T

@Wed0kto_draws 8 лет назад

+mbanana23456 don't say it's flat out wrong... It's our perspective on it...

@Wed0kto_draws 8 лет назад

+mbanana23456 people may have different feelings when this is sung... So please.. It is our opinion.. You may trigger someone if you just say their meaning is flat out wrong..

@mbanana23456 8 лет назад

Cronus Ampora I can't tell if you missed my sarcasm or if i'm missing your sarcasm in this comment...... DAMM YOU INTERNET

@singmeunder 10 лет назад

.... Dang you. I just happened to be reading a story that matches this song perfectly... *hugs you* Another one to add to my favorites..

@clownsomnia7619 3 года назад

What's the name?

@tsukinomiweasel551 8 лет назад

hm, a bittersweet song. it makes you feel both sorrowful and sad, a bit melancholy with hope at its core. i like it. (of course, that might not be the best way to describe it)

@nightfuryyassamaru1683 8 лет назад

I have a great way to describe it: Haro/Hawayuu

@Elle-pd7bj 10 лет назад

This song has made me look at life differently. This song describes me perfectly. So thank you, Juby. Thank you for doing a cover of this song. You have no clue how much this song means to me now. I wish to see you do more covers like this, Ayano's Theory of Happiness, Eight Hundred, Donor Song, etc.

@andrewsuckit5268 10 лет назад

hey wanna talk?

@andrewsuckit5268 10 лет назад

heyyyyy

@louiewei6629 10 лет назад

She's done Eight hundred and Donor Song. OuO

@Elle-pd7bj 10 лет назад

Yes ma'am

@andrewsuckit5268 10 лет назад

heyyy!

@DanielGhun Год назад

When I first heard this song, I think I was really depressed and this song served as a comfort to me. Now as I've gotten older, and worked out some of the things that were weighing on me, I listen to this song and thing about how far I've come. Life is a lot brighter for me now. Thank you for this cover Juby! This song really means a lot to me!

@amu6711 10 лет назад

I was singing along and started to cry hehe... Juby, your singing has helped me cope with difficult things in my life. Thank you so much.

@kailaposey5575 9 лет назад

On the radio: Songs about dirty things On youtube: This And people wonder why I avoid listening to the radio~? ^_^

@adriancreates3086 8 лет назад

That moment where you find an old song that you used to listen to, and when you find it again, it's love at first sight all over again

@deathwing7734the1st 8 лет назад

listen to a LOT of your songs but this has managed to steal my absolute favorite spot. your voice is so heart rending and beautifull i can't help but sing alongside you even though i swore off singing. the song evokes much, a great deal of sorrow but also of hope and happiness. im proud to be a subscriber to you juby and when i get a job i'll add on to your patreon.

@menouakari 8 лет назад

I agree. Though there are a lot of happy and catchy songs out there, sometimes it's songs like these that really reach out and touch our hearts. It's something that is so relatable---the topic of what life means. And it isn't just being a perfectionist---it's being accepted as who one is, and what one's purpose is. Everyone has their own struggles, but in a world like this, it's hard to be heard. Hard to be known for what one wants to be. My favorites of JubyPhonic's covers are this song, Lost One's Weeping, Clean Freak, and A Realistic Logical Ideologist. All of them are so sad...but understandable. I don't feel sympathy, but I feel empathy for other fans of the same songs I like. It's really nice to have a community where we can enjoy the songs we like together...

@kattievalarezo8157 10 лет назад

Thanks Juby-sama once again! It's currently 1 am and I was in a really stressed/glum mood since I am a perfectionist and I'm trying to get better with my drawing, thanks for cheering me up!

@lbaqnoe 10 лет назад

When i saw and heard "You're just fine." i cried.

@lorenatalie 10 лет назад

I agree.

@amaperson2886 10 лет назад

I'm probably the hardest person on myself. People comment about how good my drawings look, but I always think they could look better. On another side of being a perfectionist, when I see books out of order at a bookstore, I HAVE to fix them, and then my mom laughs at me for being a dork.

@SueSinSun 10 лет назад

So I'm not the only person that does that?!! (/ ;w;)/

@18Draculaura 10 лет назад

I Always thought,i was the only one who did that too! Lmao.

@yolksoda 10 лет назад

Hello my fellow perfectionist *high fives*

@amaperson2886 10 лет назад

:) *High fives*

@niome13665 10 лет назад

I love finding other people who do the same things I do. ^_^

@mercrissy 10 лет назад

I may have only just be starting my life but I relate to this song very much. With my dark and unfortunate beginning of my childhood it has led me to become an atheist (please respect my views :) and because these horrible memories and events have done this, I struggle with the question in this song, what's the point? I have been angry most of my life and thought darkly of whether or not to stay on this earth. Yes I have a planned future but it is still unseen, but as she said in this song, things might be worth staying out for. I've entered a *much happier* chapter of my journey of growing up and I know for sure, *the wait is worth it.*

@Diakosa. 10 лет назад

This was beautiful to read :) I'm not exactly old enough to say whether or not life gets better, but damn, life's not a fun rollercoaster ride if it keeps going straight. Someone told me that once, and that's kept me going for a long time. Hope it helps anyone who reads it like it did me.

@MegaLinket 10 лет назад

HAHAH! LIFE IS GREAT!? Well it is.

@starberrydreams 10 лет назад

every time I hear your covers like this I get chills all over! you're just so amazing! I admire you and your voice!

@kaylaagonzalez3472 9 лет назад

This describes me perfectly... I'm a perfectionist reaching for a goal that is impossible... And that is to be perfect... I try too hard to the point where I lack too much sleep (too much in my mind will make me lack sleep, I'm thinking too much) I'm sure a lot of you can relate... c:

@kaylaagonzalez3472 9 лет назад

風乎舞雩 oh snap... preach it!

@BigFearedBalloon 8 лет назад

+Kaylaa Gonzalez (ピカチュ) Well most things can't be perfect. Apart from some bits of maths like 1 + 2 = 3, nothing can truly be perfect as perfect is a matter of opinion. No matter how many people like you or how many things you can do, someone will hate you and you can always learn more making perfection impossible. Even making a perfect clone of... let's say a rock is near impossible since on atom may be in the wrong place. Perfection is either a impossible or near impossible goal that may nether be achieved even if your God, a prime mover or even the greatest being on the planet.

@kaylaagonzalez3472 8 лет назад

Big Feared Balloon you're right, but I was mostly talking about academic wise, and my appearance (which I know I can't change so I focus on just academics )

@BigFearedBalloon 8 лет назад

Well that's the same really. Still I did ramble on a bit but that may be because I've been doing philosophy and it makes me think of some interesting questions.

@sailormoon2534 8 лет назад

I'm the same way

@keeperofsecrets14 3 года назад

This song is one of my favorite covers to date. There is something about hearing your voice clearly just,,, adds to the feel? I can’t express my surprise when I realized how old this cover was since it sounds so good!

@superbradfan1 12 лет назад

always making my day with these covers

@justastraylesbian5817 3 года назад

i'm still here enjoying this song. Favorite song you've ever done. It sounds like a long journey home.

@kalebmaster237 11 лет назад

i love this song so much JubyPhonic your voice is absolute gold keep singing with your lovely voice

@jessicatang5162 10 лет назад

This song is one of my favorites since it's so motivating when you're sad. X3

@Masterhitman935 7 месяцев назад

I love that this song entire duration is "mostly played", this speak volume on the quality of the track.

@isabellalowery1134 9 лет назад

Your voice is beautiful, Juby! Lately I've been going through some tough times, but your music always makes me feel better. Thank you so much for doing what you do, we all appreciate it! :)

@cassidyrose6343 7 лет назад

I'm literally addicted to this. It's beautiful! I love this so much

@chelsealoveridge393 10 лет назад

Best cover you've done so far just wow

@user11871 Год назад

Going on a vocaloid binge and seeing that all the songs I loved are ten years old is just....

@astradeia 10 лет назад

Okay, you know what? I'm officially a fan of this girl now. Juby, your voice is... enchanting, in so many different ways ;-; Thank you for singing for us.

@skycreeps 9 лет назад

Love it!! Yet another great cover, Juby! :D You're voice is really beautiful.

@edisakuroki5414 7 лет назад

Can relate to it so much. This is one of my fav songs.

@catgurltea8722 10 лет назад

So beautiful I love this song

@psychayy4437 9 лет назад

This song is so beautiful. It brought me to tears. Thank you Juby. You have the voice of an angel.

@Bumpyrocks1999 11 лет назад

this song nd the lyrics really realate to me your voice is actually beautiful and your lyrics are wonderfull, love this song and all your other ones u r an amazing singer and a song writer:)

@shakugannoshana244 10 лет назад

I really enjoy you singing. You've done such a wonderful job. Thx so much. ^-^

@hakuokumora1236 9 лет назад

i love this song and it makes me realise lots of stuff

@Linttaro 12 лет назад

This is so beautiful. u ou Great job! I absolutely love this song and I'm glad there's now a wonderful English cover out there I can enjoy.

@Teddie000 11 лет назад

I felt this hit my heart, I haven't cried on any of your videos like Toumei Answer but this one I swear I felt like crying. It's so beautiful, every time I hear your songs, I want to sing along but then my bro tells me to be quiet -.- Beautiful, my favourite song of yours... so far :)

@AdefuwaKuroli 7 лет назад

Yeahh, this was one of my favourite song. Still is actually. Thank you for singing an english cover :) You have a beautiful voice

@BluexXxPrince 11 лет назад

JUBY I TRIED SINGING YOUR WONDERFUL LYRICS AND I JUST FAILED ; - ; i love you magical jubs this is my favorite cover of yours

@erink544 8 лет назад

This song makes me cry, because it's true. Juby, your voice is beautiful, and I listen to this every single day.

@TheBleupaw 10 лет назад

So wonderful, deep message.

@mikasaackerman8784 7 лет назад

Every time I see this song I can't sing it without crying because it's so relatable to me and melancholy. The hopeful tones of the song are so beautiful and I love the message. This would be my favorite song even if the singer wasn't good, but Juby makes it even better with her beautifully gifted voice. I'm proud to be a follower.

@CherryStemzz 10 лет назад

I loved it. very well done.

@veerlehond 11 лет назад

Oh my toast I'm tearing up

@Lufuu 11 лет назад

So...I just found your channel today, listened to every song you've uploaded, and fallen absolutely in love with your voice. In particular I keep coming back to this song, it's absolutely beautiful! I'm really looking forward to hearing more beautiful songs from you. ^^

@kalebmaster237 11 лет назад

your voice is beautiful juby

@blueseerboi 10 лет назад

Thank you for creating this, I could relate to it, and it helped pulled me through a dark place

@n0vela884 7 лет назад

this song explains my life so much, too much, this will always be my favorite song, no matter what

@brittanyproctor9398 10 лет назад

I love this song because its just such perfection!!

@shannonwatt4754 4 года назад

2019 and still loving this

@eleanorkoch2313 10 лет назад

This is so gorgeous!

@iFuangPanda 10 лет назад

:D I love your voice, it sounds so soothing

@mewtwaila 7 лет назад

this is my theme song down to each and every last word,punctuation, and letter.

@loudestcloud 5 лет назад

I've had depression almost all my life and because my mum had unmediated ADHD, she just didn't really know what to do. I used to sing this song and the doner song all the time when I was 8 and cry because I let useless and like if I died I'd be more use as parts. I hated the happy ending of this song tho because I had and still have never had a happy ending to even a mouth. I'm almost 17 now and I'm not hugely better but now I am older I see the end of the song for the positive end it is.

@blackhalo317 11 лет назад

I love how you sang "you" towards the end!!!

@bennybloom1304 8 лет назад

Hi, I just want to put it out there that you have the most beautiful voice (To me) And you're my favorite singer, and this song is my one of my favorites!

@moss8541 10 лет назад

i love Juby's singing. I really do.

@aquak405 7 лет назад

This is beautiful! First "Hirari, Hirari" and now this. It's so heartfelt and heartbreakingly honest. I wanna sing this so badly.

@swailey1869 10 лет назад

this song is really pretty, and Juby's voice is perfect :)

@78musicdude78 11 лет назад

Oh is this a new cover? It's really really good!! I love the songs you cover and your voice just... GOSH I can't even figure out what to say LOL. Really good!!!!!!!!!

@ChocoBunnie 10 лет назад

After having a really bad day, this cheered me up. Why is it I always find these songs when I need them?

@ajalaws535 10 лет назад

I love your voice and songs! XD

@LaurenM10210 11 лет назад

You have no idea how much I am hitting this repeat button. Your voice is fantastic, and you are super nice with your subscribers. Not a lot of people do that anymore :D I look forward to hearing even more great things from you. I have been a subscriber since witch hunt and I haven't been let down once :) you're great!

@PolarCub24 10 лет назад

Beautiful as always! i'm so jealous

@0nepyece 11 лет назад

♥ Love this dubbing the most. ♡ I give up. I'm subscribing. I'm in love~! JubyPhonic, you're amazing. Period.

@Nyanreimu 12 лет назад

The most amazing covers are found here.

@widgity 6 лет назад

Woah. I have RU-vid playing all of your uploads in reverse chronological order. They have been getting progressively less polished, which is to be expected, everyone improves over time. But going from two nearly painful auto-tuned songs to suddenly this... Wow.

@Caweenie 11 лет назад

I cry every time... Thank you... Thank you very much.

@Monistar 11 лет назад

Thanks soo much!! Appreciate it! Keep singing. You're really good! :)

@staceyson8630 10 лет назад

lovely song . And you are a amazing singer.

@kittyyoutuber9 4 года назад

Nevermind. But this is a very beautiful yet a sad perfectionist song. I think I felt this before.

@UltimiteAngel 10 лет назад

What feeling have you introduced into my life Juby? It feels... nice.

@AntonioCucumo 11 лет назад

This inspires me to sing a song from another language. :) Thank you, you have a beautiful voice.

@sketchyalien5182 7 лет назад

Heard the piano playi- I LOVE IT 😍

@ashleyellingtonmccathy9244 11 лет назад

i have goosebumps... SO AMAZING!!! LOVE IT AND NOW THE TEARS ARE DRIPPING DOWN MY CHEEKS!!! LOVE THIS SONG!!! LYRICS ARE AMAZING AND YOUR VOICE IS SO.. SO... SO AMAZING!!! LOVE IT!!!

@HysteriaBlade11 11 лет назад

Even if I have bad days (like today) I know this song will always put me at ease and give me hope for a new day

@stephencampbell7283 11 лет назад

u have a buitiful voice and ur very talented, ur awsome

@MajesticRitchie 9 лет назад

your voice sounds beautiful c:

@indigospecs322 11 лет назад

Your voice is so pretty, and it suits this song beautifully.

@dindaaulle 9 лет назад

your voice reminds me of my childhood. because your voice just sounds like barbie's voice singing. ( i used to watch barbie movies back then ) , its beautiful.

@otaku3ra346 10 лет назад

I love your voice I can relate to this song =3

@BaikenBalling 6 лет назад

Just started and its good already. :)

@stormblizzard1995 12 лет назад

Nice song and by the way nice voices is beautiful :D

@flyingSkyflower 12 лет назад

omg... so good.... your voice is amazing! [please cover mooooore songs :D]

@crystalchell143 11 лет назад

Omg, your voice is so beautiful in this! You are amazing, 'nuff said (I'm actually crying alot here beause it really sruck me in the heart x'D)

@jetstones8141 11 лет назад

Nice. So beautiful... And stuff.

@BUNXXL 10 лет назад

I love you Juby, when I'm going through a tough time, I listen to you.

@karyssafaye4980 10 лет назад

Oh my god. Please tame my tears already. They're in a bottle for you..... but in all seriousness, you're voice is beautiful, and this song made me cry (if you weren't able to tell by now) but really, I love this song so much!!!!! :-)

@MonsterGal9870 9 лет назад

OMG!! I love this song!

@acceleratorjokerdarkness238 9 лет назад

I love you

@eleanorlamb1852 11 лет назад

Juby I know you probably hear this from a handful of people but i'm going to say it too. Whenever i'm feeling sad your voice always makes me feel better. I may not know what you look like and I might not know who you are exactly but I do know that everyday you make someone feel better~ - From another fan that loves you~

@LynnHatSpass 11 лет назад

i think your voice is just beautiful. this song fits your voice. i like to hear this song when i go to work, when i fall asleep or just when i want to hear something. it also helps me throught a hard time in my live and for that i want to thank you. i'm really thankfull. Really thank you!

@lexalicious2000 9 лет назад

This song reminds me a lot of how I think and feel everyday.

@xLollipopSmilessx3 11 лет назад

Every time I feel like giving up, or like my world is caving in around me I listen to this song. It gives me the strength I need to not give up. Thank you so much for the translation. It means a lot. :)

@LoveRainiesWorld 10 лет назад

I was so happy to find this song last year, and hearing this again by you it's still amazing and so meaningful. For the past 11 years I have gone through so much of hurting myself and believing I am nothing. I am still battling with it since I can't seem to love or accept myself. My boyfriend has been so supportive for the 4 years we've been together, and no matter how crazy I've become or the amount of times I've hurt or try to kill myself he still saves me somehow. I'm learning slowly to become better and to love myself and what I do. Being an adult it just has been so much harder on me. The one thing I want most in my future is to be stable and to one day be a mother. Sometimes I feel like it may never come true.