Girl i am in TEARS and I’m not even finished listening to this. I was never able to truly identify this until now. I know it’s time to heal these wounds. Thank you.
@@kamrynonlyy2996 girl i AM SOOOO MUCH BETTER! I encourage you to be gentle with yourself it gets easier I promise. Also give yourself space to be angry and upset.
@@kamrynonlyy2996 also if you’re into reading please I encourage you to read the following books for helping your journey. 1. all about love by bell hooks, 2. Adult Children Of Emotionally Immature Adults. 3. The Mountain is You. You got this don’t give up on yourself ever.
Wow😭😭 with my abandonment issues being thrown away as a baby and later adopted. To being this woman and mom that attract men and Friends with abandonment issues as well. The problem with me no matter how bad people treat me I can't find it in my heart to hate them. I will still do for them despite of what they did to me. I pray and ask God why my heart won't grow hard and cold. In fact my heart gets bigger and warmer not sure of my purpose in life but I stand here with a lot of war wounds that needs healing
Hey sis! Thanks for sharing! I'm so sorry that happened to you. Every child deserves to be loved and kept. I hope you are well and were well taken care of by your adoptive family. I want to share that I have learned during this journey that boundaries are key to being healthy and having healthy relationships. I'm sorry to hear that you have been wounded and sounds like you feel obligated to keep your heart open to abusive people. I want to recommend the ALL CEUs channel here on RU-vid and the topic of healthy boundaries in general. I believe both will be a blessing to you and I'll be praying for our healing (I'm on the journey too)!
Wow! That’s strength! I understand your story because I to share that same understanding. It’s time to heal, and it’s crazy because I thought I was fine, until I wasn’t.
wow, something you said in this video really hit me hard. I always complained of how I only ever attract superficial relationships, without realizing I’m keeping most of these relationships superficial.
I can’t even find the words to explain how much this has blessed me 🥹 I am tired of allowing this wound to keep me in painful cycles!! Thank you so much for this message 🧡
I struggle with abandoment a lot.Starting from my mum leaving me when I was young to the men who left unexpectedly when I was the most emotionally engaged in those relationships
I appreciate this video/podcast so much. Growing up my relationship with my dad was very unstable and my mom would work 3-4 jobs at a time to keep us above water. So during this podcast I went back to the memory of my mom trying to drop me off at school in the morning and this paralyzing fear overwhelming my body and I would cry and beg for her not to leave. As an adult I can now see how this has affected many of my relationships now. I appreciate this conversation so much and really considering looking into therapy to make real change in my life. ❤️👏🏼❤️👏🏼❤️
I feel the same. I need help. I need therapy or something. I’m feeling suicidal at this point. I hate that I can’t just heal this already. I’m 38. All I feel like my life has been about is healing my fucked up life.
@@BusyBushyBody healing takes Time even tho it makes us restless I hope you’re in a different headspace and everything’s going great I wish u the best way
I went through depression, anxiety, Social anxiety, social awkwardness, low self-esteem, abandoned by my father as a baby (he was married), covert narcissistic mother who appears as a good Christian woman but really is emotionally and mentally neglectful to her kids. I overcame so much, and I truly thank you for this advice. I definitely want to be in therapy, but it is just not in my budget. I use videos on RU-vid to gain an understanding of my trauma and work through it as I heal. This is definitely one that I will save when I need some advice.🤎
We were separated from our mother due to her alcohol and drug problems and slung into foster care 3 different homes up to the point of adoption until our family came and got us took us south. This was the move until my mother passed the programs to get us back which she kept failing bc of her habits severity. My dad also went to prison for murder but it was self defense never met him til I was 12 and he came at me like an angry mad man. Mom got us back participating in compliance instead of true healing only to continue doing the same thing but we were around family this time and we were somewhat older and we’re able to take care of ourselves to a point. This video is really lifting something off of me and lifting me up at the same time I really needed this. We were poor and it was 9 of us this life is movie and book worthy. Thank you so much 🙏🏾 You have no idea how this greatly this changes paradigms. I listened to this 3 times on my 3rd now. Thank you again!
Great information. First real relationship at 44. Never felt worthy of one (dead-end jobs). Her finally dumping me because of it has been the most devestsated I've ever felt and that's saying a lot. In therapy and read dozens of books in the last few months. Seeing her with my replacement has been a huge setback but I'm more motivated than ever to quit underachieving in life. That's a positive out of all of this.
This episode has completely just changed my life. Thank you Dr Thema. May God bless you. Please keep doing what you are doing because you are saving so many lives.
I am not the partner, but you asked so, I will at least try to grant you closure. You deserved better and so did you child, so God remove lid the partner.
Yes, all of this is my experience with myself. It’s taken so much for me to get here. It is my blessing to know myself through these fears. I’m recognizing it now..
I'm 47 and feel like I'll never get past this 😪 I try so hard, but so much of it is unconscious behaviour. I've started to tell myself that I know I'll be alone, and I'm not meant to be loved. It just wasn't the way my life was meant to be.
I feel like the hardest part of change is the awareness! Im 52 and setting awareness as my goal for changes in relationships. I am both clingy and push people away. I have had abandonment my whole life. From parents that were more concerned with accumulation of stuff to loss of frienships and love interests.
@@rosierose7059y age is in the middle of both of you and have been diagnosed with PTSD due to abandonment…im at a loss too. If i could just get over that hump of initually connecting with someone and not sabotaging it…it feels like it’s impossible…i hope you have been able to heal in the 2 years of this comment
I'm glad I clicked on this video your voice is very comforting your tone is very comforting the speed in which you are talkin is very comforting I'm a Gemini so I usually like people to be quick and hurry up and get to the point but I really am absorbing what you are saying and I appreciate it
Thank you so much for this. Every word is a revelation. I can now see everything clearly. This has been a pattern my whole life and thought it was just the men in my life. I have assumed and packed my bags every time. I can’t believe how you have helped me. I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. I have not only listened to this twice I have written down every word. It has taken 6 pages. I am blessed to have heard your wisdom and generous time in this podcast. Sending you Love. 💗
This was the most soothing explanation of my situation of my childhood being separated from our mother and put into foster care and almost adopted. We went to 3 different foster care homes Long stories but thank you so much 🙏🏾 I’m breathing just a little easier now!
On the basis of all the good deed I have done because that put me in the mind set of having done work in order to prove my work even if I am not done anything I am worthy
I'm so mad at my cat for leaving. I knowbiys in her nature, but it hurts a lot when she does it and my ex brothers are trying to get him to stop talking to me bcuz I'm trans and my father says he's job from the bible bcuz hes married with step children and found out about his two sons that he abandoned. NY mother lived everyone and everything more than her children. I feel a lot of rage and anxiousness. I love this page. I need it
Thank you so much for this. I appreciate you for doing this. You are helping so many people like myself. I have struggled for years with abandonment issues attachment issues and I have been working on myself a very long time. These issues still come up especially when I am like someone to have a relationship with and I have to fight with myself in my mind to heal . I don’t want to walk around with these open wounds and sabotage in my own relationships that I truly desire and that I want to be loved. Therpy has helped a lot and having people like you do series like this means a lot to me. Thank you so much.
I am unable to accept people who are genuinely kind because at my core I feel I do not deserve it so I am willing to work on myself scare and myself love
I grew up in a really loving home with both parents and had a really happy childhood. When I was 31, my dad suddenly passed at 54 years old, and my husband left me 3 months later. Although the defining events happened in my adulthood and not my childhood, this could still be the contributor to my abandonment issues, correct?
Hi I love your content could you do a video on how to deal with an emotionally unavailable partner? And also on someone who’s an “hyper rule setter” I’m not sure of a term for that but and example is telling kids to choose between having a fan on or having the tv on at night and it’s mid summertime. Making a child feel punished and they didn’t do anything for one or the other privilege to be taken away. I guess, control issues is the term? God bless
Did you listen to the entire episode? She most certainly did provide was to start to heal but clearly states that a 20 minute podcast isn’t a substitute for therapy. Unfortunately, it’s not a simple process but I believe it can be overcome.
