as a depressed person myself, it is really comforting to see someone live their life, do their own thing and experience joy while also having bad days. sometimes people picture depression as only sadness and emptiness all the time, but you also have good moments WHILE depressed. I really like the way you express your thoughts and feelings, june. thank you for this.
Thank you for saying this (and thank you @junelikethemonth for sharing this video with the world). There are too many people on this planet that do not yet understand depression at this level.
I love you June. You have the ability to talk about depression in a way that comforts others, that is such an incredible thing. Your pure intention to show the real parts of your life while framing it as you believe it gives us comfort. Thanks for showing us that balancing the struggles of living our own lives and walking our own path, while caring for the people we love at our own capacity is beautiful. You're incredibly resilient and admirable for showing up as you are and sharing your journey. Always looking forward to your videos.
June, you have become such a great storyteller. These videos are so much more than what you used to do for Delish. SO much more. Your voice is amazing.
I just found you, and deeply identify with your content and angst. My mom has full blown dementia now, and i struggle with this fact daily. I love how confident, astute, and articulate you are to put into words the angst of regret. Dont be too hard on yourself for that last argument. We will oftentimes beat ourselves up for the wouldve’s and shouldve’s. For me, the main take away would be to just keep living, your mom wouldnt want anything less for you. As much as you sre haunted by the regret of how ypu couldve acted in the past , or beating yourself up for that hug you couldnt give, im sure your mom doesnt hold that against you and wouldnt want you to beat yourself up over it. Keep being real, your content is so real, i deeply identify with it as an asian woman living in the us as well. Go easy on yourself.
I randomly found your BE vids while in the middle of one of my depression blooms. While they helped me through that moment, it's your real life content that nourishes me more. I am so fucking grateful that you exist.
As I watch your videos I reflect on the absolute love you have for your mom, I have to say , that as hard as it is, you need to forgive yourself for the way you left your relationship with your mom, as a mom of 2 daughters, whenever we have parted ways in anger, I always know we love each other, and no matter what we will always be connected in spirit. Your mom knows your love for her is forever, no matter how upset either of you were . Hug yourself for her, and allow yourself to free the memory that keeps you sad. Grieve the loss of her physically, but know that she is always with you, and isn't upset or mad at you. She only wants you happy and to remember the Happy memories, and learn from the others. Love and prayers to you June. ❤️
“the grief will always come, and she will let it be. and from this, she will make something of it” really spoke to me June, thank you. grateful for this odd parasocial relationship
This was art. The shots, the poetry, the method, the interest, the stories. Incredible content and mostly, so relatable. Keep your head up. You are so talented!! So beautifully poetic
The way you articulate your pain and emotions is like reading a sad Dr Seuss book. Seeing the comments it’s great to see how you have helped so many come to terms with their grief but I just hope that even though we don’t know you we can hopefully do the same for you with comments and DM’s. Thank you June for making content true to your heart for people like us :)
This might be the most beautiful video on RU-vid. My heart feels both heavier and lighter after watching, but those both make me feel more alive. And also blue cheese corn muffins sound fucking incredible.
I don’t know what it is, but this is better than any show or movie out and about right now. A real life with real value. I agree with the guy who said “grateful for this weird parasocial relationship”. 💛
Seeing your sweet Grandma laughing and smiling makes me miss both of my grandmas & my grandma-in-law so very much! ❤. I am happy that you have her close by to share your life, and I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom 😢
June, this was the best ever. Real and raw with a doses of gentle reality. . Felt like i was watching a mini bio movie. Keep on keeping on. You have a lot to give. Finish the process, and finish the journey . Thank you.🥰😉
I just lost my brother.. and you are one of the few relatable channels in this moment.. calms my mind enough to stop and enjoy this video, even in the thick of grief.. thank you for being so open.. thank you for the inspiration to do what we can in these phases of life. there's hope in the process.
Oh wow. I'm only about 8 minutes in and suddenly I learn the area right in front of my home is the last place you saw your mom. I walk those streets daily, I've sat where you sat. I am here in this weird parasocial way holding some space for you. Thank you for continuing to share how you live through a really tough time, and even beyond that offering something special that I and many other people are connecting to. Keep bringing the wit and love of life, food and family, it really shines through everything and is appreciated 💗
In answer to Aaron's question about Fred's behaviour: They've got scent glands on their cheeks and foreheads, and they rub on objects and people in order to distribute their pheromones. It's a territorial thing, creating a familiar-smelling environment for the cat in which they feel safe. When Fred rubs on you, he's laying claim to you, and his scent telegraphs to other cats that you are owned by him.
I really like your editing where you’re putting in your random conversations with your friends throughout the video. a lot of the times we don’t really need to know the full contacts but it is a nice touch to make your Vlogs feel unique. 💗💗💗
As a mid 40 year old person that just learned that I've been suffering from depression and anxiety for almost my entire life without a diagnosis... This video truly spoke to me. Thank you June!
I don't know if you'll ever see this or if it even matters to you, but your journey through grief is somehow making me feel less alone in my own. I also lost my mother and even though its been a few years, I still feel the guilt of every time she called me and I didn't pick up the phone because I was too busy or doing something I considered more important than speaking to her. Ironically, its the one thing I wish I could do now. Her last words were "why are you doing this to me" before cancer took her. Hospice said she wasn't aware of what was going on, but it still haunts me to this day. I miss her every time something good happens and I want to celebrate. I miss her every time something bad happens and I need her wisdom and her comforting hugs. I just miss her and I know that I always will. People say it gets easier with time, but I haven't found that to be the truth. I think we just get better at hiding the pain and keeping it to ourselves as if it is shameful to grieve. I want to thank you for being so public. We need to make it easier for people to talk and to heal. Bless you June.
For me-the pain that hurts stays longer when shame and guilt are tied up into loss. The pain that heals will fade into view when acceptance of the past being the past and allowance of general chaos overrides the ego into forgiveness.
My mother died almost ten years ago. Even though I was there for her at the end I went through massive guilt that I hadn't done enough and hid myself away until I was ready to come out. Then I had a daughter and that forced me out because I couldn't confine her like me and gradually I came to terms with my loss. 16 months ago my father died. For months I visited while heavily pregnant and visited everyday for hours in the weeks before his death. Unfortunately he died the same day I gave birth to my son so I didn't get to say goodbye but I know I did my best and he knew I loved him. He also wasn't conscious when he died. Afterwards I went into a deep depression because all I wanted was for my Dad to meet my son once. I've come to terms with that now but it still hurts and I've had to pause this vlog to write this and have a little break because I was crying. June I hope you know that you are loved and I hope you have people around you caring for you. Sometimes the extent of grief can be so unexpected that it is startling. OP I too hope you can get some acceptance and relief.
I think every single person that loses a loved one replays the last moments with them. The last time you saw your mom could've been better. It could've been worse. It could've even been "perfect" on paper. But at the end of the day, you'd still have regrets and wonder if you could've done it better. I don't say this to diminish your emotions and experience. I say it to point out that no matter WHAT, your mom loved you and you loved her. And nothing could've stopped that.
June, thank you for sharing yourself, your grief, your vulnerability, and your thoughts with us. This is so touching in so many ways, and I send you any comfort that a comment on a RU-vid video could hopefully provide. More of us benefit from your healthy modeling of grief than can possibly be known. What a terrible and wonderful gift it is to feel your feelings so viscerally. Sending you love and gratitude♡
I found this video very relatable. You know how sometimes you'll cross paths with a stray cat and even though you don't know them, you're so pleased they are coming to say hello? I wish I could package that up and send it to you when you're feeling down. Just a stray cat's affection, but somehow so timely. Thanks for sharing your vlogs with us!
I’ve had a long day and came home feeling quite defeated. I didn’t have the energy for much so decided to take a bath and watch this. I wanted to thank you June for your honesty and vulnerability in letting us peak into your day to day and thoughts. I found comfort in this and the shared human experience. Keep it up.
I absolutely love how real your videos are. As someone who deals with depression a lot myself, it's comforting to know someone else out there also similar feelings, especially just losing my Father a few months ago... Thank you for all that you are and do
This is the kind of depression content I crave. It's so weird to be in the middle of doing something weird and then realize "oh. This is because of the depression." It sneaks up on you like that. Thanks for sharing, June.
Thank you June for sharing your life with us. I hope you know you can take a break whenever you want + people will still support you and be waiting whenever you decide to come back. Also on top of everything the video was so beautiful and poetic. You are so talented.
"Casual. But abundant." This is such an honest, heartfelt video. Raw but still uplifting. I love everything you do. And it feels like your videos are getting even better than before.
Keep on making whatever the hell kind of videos you want to make & I (and I'm sure many others) will continue to watch them. Its honestly refreshing to see a realistic expression of what life can be like instead of a perfectly curated version of things
Thank you for being REAL and YOU! Thank you for helping me get through some of my depression and my strange eating. I lost my husband to a heart attack a few years back. It's still hard to put pieces back together. I think seeing that my heroes and idols on RU-vid are also HUMAN! Thank you for your content. Love you for being you!
You are an amazing story teller of even the most mundane things…I love how u show us bits and pieces and I find some comfort in them… I hope ur doing well ❤
Thank you for this video. I am sometimes a little bit sad and i think you talked beautifully about certain things, especially the idea of regrets. There are some émotions and some art in these few minutes that you gifted us.
I’m a 56 yo mom to a beautiful 27 yo daughter. Such a beautiful piece! I’ve had depression since I was 19. You’re right: sometimes life just sucks, & you give yourself time to do what you need to do. I used to *love* to cook, & I made my first dinner at age 7, lol. “Meatloaf Surprise” (hard boiled egg was the surprise, lol), twice-baked potatoes, and candied carrots. I was making family dinners by 10/11 because my mom got home late and I loved doing it. I can’t cook anymore because of my lungs; I’ve got COPD & another lung disease…I never smoked. My daughter cooks as well, & she makes great bread. I’m sorry about your mom. I can relate to all of this. I watch you because you are *fearless* with food. You helped me through the pandemic. As a mom, I’m pretty sure that the guilt you’re carrying around could be put away for a bit. We moms are pretty resilient, and we want our kids to do well. Sometimes we screw up, but we love you kids. Keep being fearless! You’ve got so much more to do, & I can’t wait to see more. ❤❤
Started tearing up watching this. You spoke so beautifully about being in good company and creating happy moments while also having those moments where depression creeps up on you. I've been trying to find a balance with my depression, anxiety, and panic attacks. Its not for everyone, but my panic attacks got worse over time that I needed medication to regulate. They help but it came with some scary side effects. I wake up every night an hour after I fall asleep, so i've made a routine to follow so I can refocus and not start panicking. But when I see your videos, I feel a kindred connection. And less lonesome. Your light shines bright, June.
Sending little zaps of comfort and relief to you, June, and everyone in the comments, and this community. To all: Keep caring for yourself and forgiving yourself at every turn. you are allowed to and you are worthy of care even when it feels difficult. ❤️
I really appreciate you sharing this. When I'm depressed my eating completely goes to sh*t. Waiting super long times to eat, eating chips as a meal or super processed foods that are easy to make. I also loved the jazzy music with your narration towards the end ❤️
Dear June grief has its on life. We feel what we feel when it comes. My dad passed 21 years ago. And I am still waiting for my 7:13 phone call. Last year was the hardest because so many memories popped up but one day at the time. One feeling at the time. Lots of care and cyber hugs to you.
June, it means so much to me that you stay connected with your mom through food. I lost my dad almost three years ago, and the pain is so real it's almost suffocating; but when I have something he used to make for or with me, I can feel a little more at peace. The aromas, textures, and flavors remind me that his love was energy; and energy cannot be distroyed.
I think this is one of the best things that could be on the Internet. A video diary, a memoir, a legacy if you will. the kind you don’t find often or easily but hell are you glad you stumbled upon a sole so lost and profound and amazing. June, i hope no offense is taken with this next comment but to me you are a like sweet and soury sister, cherishing those around you gifting them mama and time but also, bitter towards life and self at times. You’re the kind of person I wish I had to find solemn in during my formative years. I was teased for many things like my outward appearance and individuality. I’m still young and you’re still young meaning we probably have a lot to learn and experience if willing. we’ll both face hardships we know we may never be prepared for I find that you June , just living as best you can to be such a blessing to yourself and to us who appreciate you as you are and will be and have been. Take care, words easily spoken, but sometimes difficult to achieve. I too love “trash food” which I think is a phrase more people should embrace after all there is STILL a lot of food going to waste and a lot of hungry ppl without. so whatever you eat as long as it sustains you Im all for it except for cannibalism I still don’t see the benefits of that. Ok rant is over I think and I hope this finds you well truly I love to see you doing well but I also love to see your thought process in dark times so if willing please continue to share it’s amazing! ❤
This video is raw, beautiful and true. You are so loved June. Thank you for being you. I lost my mom 4/2020. The only way I found my way out of my depression was being honest with myself about my relationship with my mom. Her flaws and mine and how it impacted our relationship. At the end of the day, we both made mistakes but also loved each other deeply and that is all that matters. Keep leaning into family and friends because good day can still feel sad, but don't let the sadness overcome the good.
I live in New Orleans. Today is Mardi Gras. I am exhausted. Happy. Spent. Need calm. Very happy to see this video up. Will watch while I wait for pizza.
I can’t think of anything else to add that hasn’t already been said. Thank you for being so vulnerable and real with us, June Don’t ever feel like your videos are too long. We love it!! ❤️
Thanks for taking me on the journey I love your story telling abilities and the way you weave all your feelings into such a beautiful story.Thanks for sharing and keep on keeping on. I’m looking forward to the next one!
I made a decision today after a year and a half of doing dialysis that I don't want to do dialysis anymore. I'm not going to do dialysis anymore. I'm going to live what's left of my life and not have to worry about my diet or drinking too much fluid. I'm over it. And there's a freedom to not caring anymore. I like your videos because you seem extremely real to me. The way you discussed your mother last year the way you cooked in remembrance of her, it was very special.
Grief is not chronological. It ebbs and flows and sometimes floods areas you thought above the flood plane. I appreciated everything about this blog. To feel alone in grief and not alone in grief is a gift, and it's no small gift. I've recently reached a point where the smallest of things matter most - polishing my father's shoes, not because I personally think it matters but because it matters to him. Because it's a way to materialize love through small acts and how those matter more than words, although the words are needed too.
June, sister. I completely understand your strife in so many levels and live many daily. Thank you so much for sharing your days and especially how you eat. It (food/I'm a professional "kitchen rat") truly makes me happy, and for me, the one thing I AM ABLE to do rather well for myself consistently. I also believe a lot of foods. It's a very deep and complex feeling and is not made for comment format. But thank you still for sharing your life, especially bc i feel parallel, and I know others must feel similar. Sending lots of love to us who are "in it."
I find the recent style of vlogs lately pretty comforting and cathartic in a way bc of how well June articulates the absolute fuckery of existence. While the cohesive and happy food vlogs are always popular and nice to watch, i appreciate the vulnerability and honesty of these more chaotic adventures a whole lot more because life/the world/mental health is a bitch and you gotta do what you gotta do to get by.
In my chronic depression I’ve pushed everyone away. Today I had no one to talk to when it felt like my world was falling apart. Your video gave me comfort. Thank you June.
Hey June! I just wanted to say that I am working on my graduation project in art school which will be a short film about landscape and food. Your videos, the way you tell stories, how you edit, your honesty and vulnerability inspires me so much! I have snapshots of some of your videos in my mood board for my project :) Thank you so much for sharing so much!
I'm so glad I remembered to search for you, I wondered what happened to your hours long videos about random stuff. When you're in a better head space I hope you can reinvent the wheel, budget eats is you, not a concept someone else owns. You'll figure it out and we'll be waiting. My birthday is June 9th btw. Spiritually coincidentally connected 💕✨️
June you are so marvelously honest. Thank you for being the way you are. Spicey!!! I can't imagine the magnitude of the sadness you feel when remembering your mom and the last time you saw her. It was a day when you were both the same self you always were. The pull and tug of the mother and daughter dynamic is so common among so many of us. Have no guilt over anything that happened between you. Never allow yourself to feel bad or be beaten up over anything you cannot change or control. Keep creating and expressing yourself in the authentic way that is uniquely you!
ngl when she was eating the chunks of cheese whilst giving that monologue - I was in fact, a bit mesmerized by it. It was almost erotic? Or am I just deprived? Anywho, June you are amazing and so relatable. Your content makes me feel a little less lonely in this world, and I am extremely grateful.
To break in new boots try two thin pairs of socks. They will slide against each other and stop the friction against your skin and reduce the risk of blisters.
Dude i really hope you realize the impact you have on so many people. Im crying, you’re crying, we’re all crying.. in the most cathartic way. Thank you for making authenticity attainable on such a silly platform. If i could afford my own bills id offer to pay yours 😅
I just finished watching a vlog of someone dealing with depression yet functioning and somehow....I feel at ease. It was refreshing to see real life, not "reel" life.
hey June, I am not really a comment on RU-vid type of woman but we have been watching you since your budget videos. I know this video was probably extremely difficult to not only film but then to also edit. I just wanted to send some lines of affirmation. Your voiceovers and journey with grief, and just existing in this world, are so beautifully written/said. I particularly loved the reflection on how our eating habits can be coping mechanisms for our depression as well as the emphasis on moving your body. Your creativity was bursting through in this video. It had such a great perspective, editing, music, composition. Despite the heaviness. I also love the hour long videos FUCK THE HATERS (idk if there are haters but just in case). Anyway, sending love and energy and good food.
Oh June, what a vlog. Thank you so much for sharing all of you. You made me laugh, you made me cry, you made me nod in agreement in the wisdoms you (and your grandma) dropped. In the midst of it all, I just want to say I can already tell you've been leveling up in your shooting and editing methods. Hurrah for that!
Dear June, originally I found your content for cooking inspiration, and I still love watching you create your wild trash meals. But this raw depiction of real life is so weirdly comforting to me. You let us know we're not the only ones. You let us not feel alone. You show us we will get through it all. I hope you take good care of yourself and don't pressure yourself to provide a certain amount or type of content so we will have you around for a long time 🙂♥️ sending love and appreciation from Sweden
This was pure poetry. Thank you for sharing. Depression is awful. Sending love to anyone struggling with their mental health, hoping you feel better soon and get the support you need.
