Watch us react to Yolanda's Story of "Escaping Polygamy" and compare her story to my own in leaving the FLDS community. "Escaping Polygamy" Season 1 Episode 7
Yolanda here! I just want to say I appreciate the honest reaction and the clarification on so many things. I was a brainwashed, traumatized, and terrified child during this interview which was the first interview I'd ever done in my life, so my communication and social skills were awful. I was also so terrified to speak out against Warren and the cult because I was still brainwashed. I don't think people understand the amount of fear someone goes through to leave everything and everyone they know behind and face the complete culture shock of the world when you are so isolated your whole life. As far as the dramatization with the show, I feel like it was minimal for how scary and intense the situation was, when my older sister left she was tracked down and almost forced to go back, my brothers had to call the police because she was 18, and legally had the right to decide. I was terrified that that would happen to me. Also it's reality TV they have to dramatize it for views, with the views comes awareness so I'm not sure why people have such a issue with bringing awareness to these horrible cults. Thank you so much for the compassion, I've gotta so much hate from FLDS and ex FLDS members for doing this show, which is okay because I understand the mindset after all I was in their shoes before I left. I love what you are doing and would love to meet you two. Thank you again ❤
Yolanda!!! Thank you so much for reaching out! We appreciate you commenting and shedding even more light on your story. We would love the chance to meet you and hear more of your story since leaving. Thank you so much for all of the love and support. Please email us at growingupinpolygamy@gmail.com so that we can exchange info with you. =)
Yolanda, what a brave woman you are! It takes so much more strength to leave than to stay. Hope you are becoming more confident with each day and have been able to seek counseling with a counselor trained with brainwashing & cults. Take care!!
I love that your contribution is strictly what YOU experienced. you are very respectful to your family and upbringing and don't try to speak for the whole community and only discuss what you went through personally.
I feel the same. I wouldn't change a thing with my childhood even if I could. I was blessed with good parents that loved me and taught me right. One of the reasons for my recent decision to leave is I was looking at what I was born into and what the flds have become in the last 25 years and it is not the same religion.
Sam, the emotion you are feeling when she’s taking about the loss of her connection to her family is so genuine and clear to see. It’s absolutely heartbreaking. Your compassion for these people when you do your videos is so touching.
I do want to say I appreciate how you address this, Sam. I appreciate that you qualify that though your experience wasn’t what we see or hear from extreme cases that you are speaking from your experience and do not minimize or deny the experience of others. It’s also nice that you explain what you can and are careful to add-but this is when I was in the church and this is what I heard or was told.
Yolanda dear as a mom it breaks my heart hearing your story. The look in your eyes says it all. I Wish I could just wrap you in a warm blanket of peace and love. I want you to know you are stronger and more powerful than anyone has ever let you think.
QUESTION: I remember a while ago either by watching a documentary or an interview, they spoke about members of the FLDS having some sort of a double-speak, or code language. Saying it was difficult to interview them because they spoke in parables a lot. Is this something you can explain/talk about? Thanks for sharing!
These women & girls need MORE supports when they escape. Wish we saw MORE about the resources instead of the sensationalized “escapes” but grateful for spreading awareness on their incredible bravery🙏🏼 sending lots of loving energy in their direction ❤️
lol thanks for calling out the appalling drama editing. "maybe if we use 5000 pan shoots in quick succession with some disconnected shouting on top, the audience wont realise that everythings kinda chill and theyre just moving a few boxes out of a house"
My heart breaks for all these families. Melissa you and Sam seem so kind I think you all are a beautiful couple. God bless you & keep up the good work!
So glad this was not your experience, Sam. Except for the saying goodbye ofcourse. So sad when you have to leave like that, it is difficult enough already. But it doesn’t really look they were really stopped or Something. Sidenote: would like to see you both bigger on screen and the reaction video smaller. Thanks for another great video! 💞
Very interesting and quite correct about how these shows do have to add a bit of drama we all know is probably not there but are reasonably accurate. Also in larger families there are such close bonds. Even in ours with 13 years between oldest and youngest the oldest are so close to the younger ones. They almost become a kind of extra parent- it is a very different relationship than 2 or 3 siblings born within 3 or 4 years.
The culture shock is beyond telling........think of it......these boys and girls have no education to speak of.......the girls have only domestic skills.........it would take many years of adjustment to get to any semblance of normal life as we would understand it. That is the reason why so few choose to leave.....those would do leave would have to have some kind of help on the outside as a means of setting them up in a world they are completely new to.
@@userprofile9877 she will realize in time now that she's out of there it will sink in cause one thing you can't do is force it on her to believe otherwise cause then it's no different than what she just got out of but with counseling she will be able to sort it all out in her mind
Shunning is one of the most damaging kinds of psychological shock one can be subject to. Those that use these tactics KNOW that and delight in the suffering they inflict.
I always found the thought of excommunication as the devil's trick because Jesus asked for forgiveness for those who killed him, if he can do that then the concept of excommunication shouldn't be in a religion that's in Jesus name
Thank you for making this channel. No doubt, your story will be very helpful to others who are trying to escape the psychological clutches of this cruel "religion".
Oh my goodness! Escaping Polygamy was my introduction to everything mormon. That was about 2 years ago. Now I have podcasts, hours of research, and lots of great youtube channels to watch about everything mormonism and fundamentalist practice. Love your channel, can't wait to watch this video :)
@@madisonweisbarth2950 1) Year of Polygamy. My #1 recommendation! The earlier episodes are history and specifically biographies of each of Joseph Smiths wives. After each woman gets her episode it delves into other things like modern polygamist groups, specific topics pithing the faiths, how different groups compare to each other. All while having a deep focus on the female perspective. 2) Mormon Stories-LDS. There’s so many episodes I haven’t dove in as much as I’d like. I’d recommend Zelph on the Shelf’s appearances, but there’s probably a podcast on any topic you could think of. 3) Mormons on Mushrooms. This one has much more comedy elements. It somewhat focuses on leaving the church and learning to love the outside world. Once again, I recommend Zelph on the Shelf’s episode, as that’s the one that led me to this podcast as well. I hope you enjoy!!
So actually Mormons are not the same as the FLDS. Two totally different things. Mormons are actually pretty normal. They aren’t polygamists. They believe everything a normal Christian does. They just have the Book of Mormon along with the Bible. It’s the FLDS that you are probably watching podcasts and RU-vid channels on. It’s kind of an important difference. They are REALLY different religions
@@kinleyhm7326 Yes very true :) This show got me interested in the history of american religions bc I couldn't believe this was happening 2 states over from me. I was specifically interested in mormonism (LDS) and its fundamentalist offshoots (like the FLDS). I also enjoy comparing and contrasting the "mainstream" and "extreme" manifestations, which I don't find all that different, on a philosophical level. Mormonism is not compatible with all denominations of christianity. There are some beliefs that are straight up blasphemous to some christians (such as the potential to become a sort of god on your own planet in the afterlife). So many interesting things to study for sure :)
This show opened my eyes to what I never knew was how bad just like Leaving Scientology... I find the topics being a Catholic and open minded and would like to learn about them. Just to try and understand... I am glad that there are people out there helping... Also someone like yourself explain what life was like behind the cloak as I call it...
Please please please do MaryAnn’s! I’d love to know what your thoughts are on how “worldly” she was prior to leaving and how hard it was for her to leave her family.
I just can not imagine any of this being my life. My heart breaks for all of them. Listen I get wanting to live your life the way you chose but when it’s grown ass men taking advantage of lil children that’s the line! I want more stories cause more stories mean more people freed ❤️ I hope Yolanda is well on her way into a life without this cult
Can't believe Yolanda tipped her brother off in advance. . But she has done the most radical changes out of 2 sisters. She cut her hair went to school and wore jeans for the first time. I think she's a great ambassador for a different way of life.
That was heartbreaking; that had to trigger some PTSD. Really sorry Sam, that you had /have to deal with the pain of those early days. Did you know anyone who was LGBTQ?
Your videos are so interesting, I’ve been interested in the FLDS for a few year. I was wondering if you know if there has been any Covid outbreaks within the group?
Usually child predators don’t do very well in prison, they must be watching him making sure he is safe from people attacking him. If Warren Jeffs were to get attacked by one of the other prisoners I doubt he could fight off his attacker without the help of the guards. In Texas we aren’t easy on criminals. I served as one of the Jurors for a child sexually assault case where the Uncle was sexually abusing his at the time underage niece for years. We gave him 40 years in prison. The only way Warren Jeffs is coming out of prison is in a coffin.
Yolanda is doing great. Last I saw she has a boyfriend and is loving shooting guns and enjoying life with her new boyfriend. I do love your perspective on this. Great video keep up the great work!!!!!
Aww. Great to hear she is well. Maybe sometime she could chat on this channel with them! Please tell her we are thinking of her! Sorry to hear about her brother!!
@@megansyck9170 I read that Martha, her sister died also. so very sad! My heart breaks for her. I lost my eldest sister 3 years ago very suddenly and the pain and shock seems unbearable at times.
I know I've requested this before, but I would really love your take on the fictional tv-show "Big Love". Plus if you haven't watched it, I think you would really enjoy it. I know I did. Love your content!
Thank you for sharing your experience in the FLDS. I wonder if by doing this channel, talking about your experience, has it made you more aware of others experiences in the religion, such as that of the women's?
Would love to see family pictures from when you were growing up. Also were their any times the women and girls would get dressed up or was it always the same clothing. I really enjoy this chanel.
Yolanda said that her stepfather was very abusive to her mother and the children and was even arrested for it. Does the church do anything about their members that abuse their wives and kids?
Thank you for sharing your experience. I am fascinated and in awe of Sam's story. As always, this video prompts so many questioms. At what age was Sam when his father was "corrected?" What was that experience like or did it happen after you left? I'm still working my way through all your videos.
Are there any interviews with fathers that have been forced to leave? I can’t imagine what it was like for them to lose their families, jobs & homes. I imagine it was the “good ones” who maybe asked too many questions of the power-hungry and abusive leadership.
Idk how much of this you guys have watched, but in other episodes, have tried to run them off the road and hurt them, so that's why they're so pressed about getting out. Some of them were really scary
Oh, that's just unbelievably cruel. I can't imagine how they justify this Shunning or Correction. On the one hand they make the family central to life yet it's the first thing that is attacked and tortured when it suits those in power. Some seriously brave and determined people that decide to leave, my heart goes out to them..................all of them.
I also think it’s important when it comes to Escaping Polygamy for people to have the right view coming into it. As Yolanda said so well, of course reality tv is dramatized but it’s minimal especially when given the exposure these cults are given. Every time I see these interviews and here affirmations for Warren I remember I cannot know what is in their hearts. Even THINKING thoughts against him is outlawed. Some may very well believe in him, still, or may believe in some tenets of their religion but see the problems at the same time. Being able to outright deny him is extremely brave and extremely terrifying. People have the right to their beliefs until they infringe upon the rights of others. In these cults, the childrens’ rights are infringed on by default, which is the main issue with polygamy. Adults can arrange their relationships however they wish in my view as long as it is not causing harm to others and by nature this absolutely does cause harm to others. Even for those families that do everything they can to provide a happy home for their kids, attention can’t possibly be divided evenly AND still be enough. The most loving dad in the world can’t truly be a present dad to 30+ kids. And even if a woman who is forced to marry into polygamy doesn’t care about attention from her husband, that attention can still directly impact how her kids are treated. And I’ll always add that I do not believe Jessica, Kollene. Andrea, Shanelle, Amanda, or any others that helped are being overly dramatic. It’s a tv show and post is going to make it marketable. At the same time, they are truly feeling called to help others WHILE dealing with their own trauma. Some of these situations can trigger severe responses. They don’t think they’re going to literally be shot, they’re reacting to how it feels to be reliving their own experiences while helping others. While trying to raise their own families or live their own lives. Having watched what they have to say on RU-vid on their own terms to me it seems like they saw this show as an opportunity to help on a scale they could never sustain alone. And they saw the value in bringing this into the public’s eye.
New to all this, definitely glad hear ppl getting away from this! I've got a question. If a wife is sealed to a man, the man dies shouldn't the wife remain single at that point? My understanding as a outsider is the point of many wives is to be with them in the after life. If she remarried then what did it accomplish?
When they got remarried or reassigned to a new husband they would get married for "time only" so that when they passed on, they would still get to be with their first husband for eternity.
I had some thoughts while watching that I think might have potential for becoming content. How familiar was Melissa with the FLDS (other than the nice trucks lol) before you started dating? And what were the similarities that the two of you shared growing up (since the differences are often highlighted)?
How big was the community that you lived in? How many people were living there and were you guys pretty much self-sufficient or did you have to shop, go to doctors, post office etc outside of the community? The video there of Yolanda's community seemed much bigger than I imagined!
for the children whose fathers had to go away and repent and whose mothers had to remarry: would they call the “new father” “step-father” and be able to talk freely about their birth father, or were they kind of expected to forget about their birth father and just refer to their step-dad as “father”?
They’d call him father! I was never apart of the FLDS! It was considered a respect thing! Anytime a new wife would be added the children are to call her mother right away!
I wish I could’ve called him step dad cz I never liked him. The church had my parents divorce and sent my dad away. And then remarried my mom to a man who already had four wives. My dad never had more than one wife and we had a great childhood before the church separated them🥺
What’s crazy to me is the regular LDS church says they don’t practice polygamy anymore to save face but they still believe it will happen in the celestial kingdom. It’s why a woman can only be resealed on earth under certain circumstances but a man can do as he pleases after separation or death.
If they were not the legal wife, when reassigned, was there any type of "divorce" process? Did they have another wedding or just move right in? Very interesting. Always enjoy your channel. Thank you.
In the FLDS........the reassignment is just an order.......no divorcement involved. As to another wedding.......it also is an assignment. In other words, an order is given and you do it or else!
Probably not. Most of them aren’t even legally married nor do a lot of them even have any birth certificates, social security numbers or anything else.
As a “second” wife you’re not really married legally. The marriage is only in the eyes of the church. That’s why so many of the women in the FLDS are eligible for, and on welfare. Only the First wife is legally married.
Do the families in the community who have children who leave the community experience any backlash? That is, are they judged for having children who leave? Like they failed or something? Or are only the ones who leave judged for it?
Good morning, Sam & Melissa. I just recently found all these videos about that 4 season show Escaping Polygamy. Binge watched. lol. I also see videos posted on RU-vid from Amanda Rae, one of the girls involved with the Escaping Polygamy show. There's plenty the series shows regarding they've helped others they know get out of the Polygamy sect they were part of...most of the episodes had to do with getting people out of The Kingston Klan (aka The Order) and out of Warren Jeff's FLDS group. If you've seen the full series, are there any from Warren Jeff's group that you remember from your growing up in one of these groups? In the months leading up to your leaving, did you hear of a group that helps those leaving, such as the organization called Holding Out Hope? holdingouthelp.org/get-involved/ Have you two helped other family members of Sam's who have gotten out? Did Sam have anyone he could go to for help and support (emotional especially!) once he got out? I know one of the young men they helped was one Amanda Rae's brother, Eskel Grant. ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-VYAP-ejajRA.html&ab_channel=EskelGrant
Hello- thank you so much for sharing. Sam, do you feel like growing up there you were brain washed? This seems like this would be so triggering for you to see the interview. If it's not too personal, can you share if you had any counseling, mental health support, religious support after leaving? I've seen your talks about leaving and the culture shock. I'm just wondering if there was a time when it was hard to know what was real and what your own values were.
I know a guy who left one of the two big ones, I think Colorado City? Anyhow, he married a Latino gal, she works in his business and he cheats on her. I guess some of that messed up teaching takes a long time to get past.
I have a question! So, you say that men who are able to come back aren’t able to go back to their wives or families or the way things were before they were told to leave. So, when they do come back, and their wives are remarried, do the men start over with marry other women? How is their life when they come back?
In watching the full series of Escaping Polygamy (I realize there's drama added for show appeal), there's one episode where a male escaped Polygamy, after his mother was sent away. He got help to track his mother down. The mother is still estranged from the church due to being sent away, yet she still has full faith in the Polygamy beliefs. She did not know he was no longer part of that church (considered an apostate).
Have you guys heard anything about how the FLDS is dealing with COVID? Do they allow vaccinations/masks, do they believe it is dangerous? I can see how it could completely decimate the society if it rapidly spread around the community, so I was wondering if the leaders are putting any precautions in place.
Were there ever older single members who were in good standing with the church, either male or female? Or is it basically if you’re a good member, you’re married? I’d imagine there would be several men who didn’t get assigned a wife, but would they then leave the community or would they continue in the faith and hope to get married?
No Sam said once before that they had to call their parents Mother or Father, shortening it to Mom or Dad is disrespectful. That was his family. His fathers rule.
WOW So when. a woman is "reassigned" to a new spouse, she's now sealed to that spouse for eternity. What if her husband died or was otherwise in good standing with the church? Don't all widows get reassigned to a new husband? What if she loved her first husband and wanted to be sealed to him for eternity, but he happened to die young or something?
I don't know about the nightstands, but as far as clothes go, a lot of times when people first leave they don't plan on changing their clothing. It often takes a long time for people to become comfortable in "regular" clothing.
Diane, I think maybe she was so upset and stressed out that certain things didn't make sense. That's why she wanted to take nightstands. Because maybe she was so traumatized by the fact that she knew she needed to get out but was scared and didn't want to leave her family. That's my perspective. I had abusive parents but it took me a really long time to let go of sentimental objects that reminded me of them.
I'm surprised Yolanda took furniture and so much stuff. I would have thought she would have only got to take her clothes and very personal things like momento type of things...is that common to take so much?
Probably because it's all I had, put yourself in my shoes and leave your home right now without taking anything. I didn't have a car, any savings, a job, nothing, so I put my things that had sentimental value in the nightstand which also had sentimental value to me, and left.
@@Yolanda.b oh Yolanda, im so glad you got to take so much. I assumed(wrongly I guess) that whrn you left, you only got to take your clothes and all the rest was family stuff. I'm happy for you and wish you all the luck on your new life. You got this girl..❤
Maybe it isn’t common, idk, but I would hope people leaving could take as much as possible. I’ve been evicted and without a home when I was younger and holding onto all those things I could was really important. I still remember the things I lost, even if they weren’t important. Losing everything you had is traumatic on its own, without also having to escape a situation like this. I think I’ve heard stories here or on another channel where people were like, only gone with the clothes on their back and I can’t imagine how scary that is too.
It's reality TV, that's how they get views, and the views bring awareness so not sure why people are so pressed by it. If you don't like drama, don't watch reality TV problem solved. ❤
@@Yolanda.b in other countries TV isn't as dramatized as it is here. Just look at how Gorden Ramsay's US and UK shows compare. American style TV ruins what could be something enjoyable to watch.
But I think the big concern for a lot of these young women isn't authorities trying to stop them, but parents coming home and guilting you or trying to stop you from leaving. And there actually has been episodes with family members doing that.
Just a quick question to ask those still stuck in this belief. If your god would break your leader out of prison why wouldn't your god be forceful to protect his children from abuse?
Do you know of any _married people_ who left? Because polygamy is so taboo on the outside, would they be pressured to end their marriages if they left?
From watching this show a year or two ago I remember watching a mother leave with her kids. But, she was escaping an abusive marriage too so I guess she just accept it needed to end too. But, I’m not involved with this religion at all. Just someone who watched the show and consumer content casually about it.
