I watched your video about descriptive writing with 6 cameras, and I used it in my recent English Language mock. I got an 8, and I was so unbelievably overjoyed!! As a token of my thanks, take this virtual cookie 🍪
It bothers me that everyone says "Don't do it last". I did it last on paper 1&2 for Lang and got full on both. I'm not bragging, I'm just making a point that to me, the method of: 1-4 do as soon as possible, then spend as long as you can on 5, works.
Edited description: From clear weather, sunbeams glowed down to browned tridents. Fresh petals glided to helical stems. Flowers quivered their iridescent quills. Flourished, the forest blossomed nectarous purity bastioned in beak-piked thorns and scales of bark. Soil emanated green vibrancy -- the raised life force waves -- arrayed leaf blades swayed in a glade emblazed by ripening. Growth. When trees coved the mushrooms, their shadows gloomed the sunflower dream with a dark stardust gleam. An eclipse veiled, so light coruscated on the umbral-gemmed surface, while the grass glimmered emerald earthshine within such illuminating opal mushrooms, dispersing a magenta prism, which dazzled out its cosmos above.
I don't know Barth, have you been reading Swinburne? This is far too convoluted, but it is so far over the top that it is actually very skilful. You should really present it as a poem though. It also reminds me a bit of Dylan Thomas. I've no idea what an examiner would make of it, but that is beside the point - it is beyond, or outside the GCSE. If you were my student, I'd suggest you wrote a poem as a description and presented it in prose, as you have done here. In fact, I might send it to AQA for a verdict. Good luck.
Yes, I have been reading the poetry of the sort. It feels like the examiner would need to have read through the text more than once to feel all the imagery, I had to rework parts of this a few times, but I am interested as well, what an examiner would score this.
Barth Stewardson I got a reply yesterday, saying students should stick to prose. They didn’t say poetry wouldn’t work, just that they wouldn’t advise it.
Hi, I really like the idea of the journey through a prisoner's mind who is dreaming of escape, could you write you story/description in the form of a letter to a loved one on the outside of the prison? I think that this would be a good way to express emotion and set my writing apart from other candidates. Thank you for the video!
I'm thinking of writing from a train's perspective in an upcoming test. If I wanted to do this, should I use 'I' and 'my' in the description as I have always been told to do it as a narrator, not a first person perspective? Thanks
The more I watch your video the more conflicted I get. I am happy that these videos exist. I have been trying to hone my writing craft and I love vivid descriptions. However, I am getting mad because I realize he teaching for exams that 15 and 16-year-olds take in U.K. I never received this good of education in U.S. We are being cheated out of a quality education.
Thanks for the compliment, it is very kind of you! I would love to make some videos for my use audience, which is still only 2.8% of my viewers. What novels, poems, or plays would be a good place to start?
@@MrSallesTeachesEnglish The core of American English teaching is two branches. One English literature, which is Shakespear, Edgar Allen Poe, Charles Dickens, and Orwell. Second, mostly grammar and essay writing skills. That is about it.
Mr Salles Teaches English, I have written another description in 45 minutes, shorter than the last, I would appreciate if you analyze this. From clear weather, sunbeams glowed down to springing stalks. Flowers quivered their iridescent quills. Flourished, the forest blossomed nectarous purity protected by their beak-piked thorns and scales of bark. Soil emanated green vibrancy -- the raised life force waves -- arrayed leaf blades swayed in a glade emblazed by ripening. Growth. When the mushroom's tree-blanket enclosed daylight, their shadows gloomed the forest's sunflower dream with a dark stardust gleam. An eclipse veiled, so light coruscated on the umbral-gemmed surface, while the grass glimmered emerald earthshine within, illuminating opal mushrooms, dispersing a magenta prism, which dazzled out its cosmos above.
Barth Stewardson it is part awesome and part awful. Get rid of the Thesaurus, limit the number of adjectives, and get rid of anything that looks like it is trying too hard. Then post me the new one. I’ll make you a video on your changes.
Mr Salles I have cut some superfluous parts to the description and cut some adjectives. I'm still finding more if possible, thanks for the feedback. From: Ripen Radiance to "ripening", removing "Bloomed petals" and removing the adjective "orange."
Hello Jen. High ability students are often held back by a fear of making mistakes - there are no rules! Write it the way you like, so that you enjoy reading it. Then I'll take a look at it for you - better still, give it to your teacher.
Mr Salles Teaches English thank you! If I write an example I will post it on her for you to see! Also if you have a chance, could you make a video on a difference between a grade 7 answer to an 8, as Ive been a 7 for my last two mocks & my mocks after half term I really want an 8!
Sir could u please reply , I have a question. How do I write from a cloud’s perspective or god’s perspective or an insect for example. Do I imagine myself to be the object? And write in first person?? I really like these ideas but I have no idea how to go on about it. I have got a mock tom please help me out.
