Unlock the Secret of Descriptive Writing (Mr Salles)

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As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases, so I can keep prices to my guides very low. They are much more informative and more detailed than every other guide at the same price. Learn two secrets which will propel your descriptions to the top grades. Below is a summary of the other 6 techniques you will also learn in the video.
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Constructing the Extended Metaphor
1. Start with a simile - it is an easy way in to the extended metaphor.
2. Start with the verbs - these will power your metaphor.
3. Look for words associated with the thing you are comparing it to, and try to find a similarity.
Constructing the Description
1. Try to start most sentences with a different word.
2. Show off with long sentences, with lists of noun phrases or subordinate clauses.
3. Avoid adverbs, unless you need to slow down your writing.
4. Always look for contrast. Contrast the viewpoint, or the time, or the action, or the status, or anything which occurs to you. Contrast is where good writing is made.

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22 авг 2024

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Комментарии : 42

@rainbowdolly 5 лет назад

utterly utterly inspiring for a very struggling teacher with children whose imaginations seriously need a boost!!

@MrSallesTeachesEnglish 5 лет назад

That's lovely of you, thanks. I've recently made a video on how to write a story with an extended metaphor too.

@not...not...no.643 2 года назад

lol imagine if ur students saw this 💀

@isobelalexandra761 5 лет назад

Thank you for this, it was really helpful! I used this and wrote my own answer to a picture of an aeroplane waiting room: (which you absolutely do not have to read lmao I am not a very good writer) Africa. Unbearable heat. The peaceful breathing of a young child, her chest rising and falling. Her white fabric duvet, thinner and more frail than a sheet of paper, is tossed aside in the harsh climate, with Earth's scalding heat radiating from the sharp, jagged mud underneath. Instead, to cover her stripped body is a net, twisted and tangled around her fragile limbs. The netting has been attacked by moths in the night, leaving gaping holes as if it had been shot through with a bullet - though the area is war-torn, tyrants and a civil war uprooting the country's systems, nature is the enemy here. Through the dark, a mosquito. It is a female, with a blood-red abdomen. Infected. Barricades inflicted with bullet holes are no match for this parasite. It storms through with little resistance, occupying the territory. The invader feeds; a tiny wound, a nick of blood. No more than a touch of the enemy soldier's bayonet. But it is enough - the festering infection breeds death and despair. The high fever will arrive shortly: that now peaceful child's forehead will soon be covered in a scarlet rash the colour of the mosquito's abdomen. As the child shifts in her sleep, the net, a mud-coloured pall, is drawn over her chest. Rising, falling. Defenseless. Her father lies next to her, the sun-scorched ground searing his back. He cradles a rusty revolver in his arms, lest he be woken in the night by some catastrophie. It is unlikely - the passing of bullets and the distant dropping of bombs is white noise to this young family. Dictators, tyrants, the civil war - a mundane, trivial, quotidian fact of life. The government has always been corrupted by the dark allure of dirty money, but the water and the land are corrupted by plagues and disease. Her father's net is stretched tightly over his body with military precision, tucked underneath him and protecting him like a fence of barbed wire, his soldier's physique rigid as though standing to attention through muscle memory alone. All this discipline, all these training exercises, all this preperation for battle. But it's not enough. The mosquito takes off. It's too late.

@MKhan-qe9lp 4 года назад

Grade 8 mainly through great structure and and extended metaphors.also it is not littered with ambitious vocabulary which at times makes it awkward to read.I've gone from a 2 to a 7 so I've been through the mill.this is great.maybe try to put 1 or 2 more high level words.apart from that imo,it was great.

@jessshone6175 4 года назад

I LOVE THIS OMG

@user-qg4td6rg5x 2 года назад

This is amazing. How do you write like this pls omg

@anikamehra928 5 лет назад

I am currently preparing for my English Language GCSE in May, however I am sitting the Edexcel GCSE English exams. Yet, I have still found these videos incredibly useful and I really wanted to thank you for putting so much time and effort in creating them!

@MrSallesTeachesEnglish 5 лет назад

Thank you!

@suparnabasak3931 5 лет назад

We are so privileged to find a teacher like you. I just wish you could make a living madame tussuads duplicate of yourself and send it to our school in India. The whole world needs more and more teachers like you. You are just a p-e-r-f-e-c-t english teacher. I have learnt much more in one day from your youtube lectures than I have in 10 years of my school life. Thank you so much. It's only God's mercy that I could access to a teaching like yours and great Lord will surely bless you for doing such a wonder for students like us . Thank you so much.

@MrSallesTeachesEnglish 5 лет назад

Thank you very much! I only have about 2% of my views from India - I should probably start adding subtitles. Let me know if there is a video you need.

@Ab-kx4xv 6 лет назад

Even though I'm only doing literature this year, I decided to check this out. I was not Disappointed.

@hlomphoprincess3573 5 лет назад

i just found you today and im most definitely a new subscriber! ,my session is in oct/nov and your videos just gave me hope

@MrSallesTeachesEnglish 5 лет назад

Thank you!

@hlomphoprincess3573 5 лет назад

@@MrSallesTeachesEnglish sir how may you be contacted? or do i just post my short piece here and you would give me feed back, i noticed youre interactive with your online students and it would be an honor to hear what you have to say about my writing, before i sit

@MrSallesTeachesEnglish 5 лет назад

hlompho princess it here - I may be able to comment on it

@saemafahmi5283 5 лет назад

Thanks for all your videos. You are a great teacher helping stundents all across the world.

@MrSallesTeachesEnglish 5 лет назад

Thanks!

@elizabethfray4079 5 лет назад

How far can you stray away from the picture?

@MrSallesTeachesEnglish 5 лет назад

As long as the examiner can see it is inspired by the picture, you can depart quite a bit. It helps if you write a quick one minute plan which explains how you can move from picture to the idea that you are writing.

@bob-oi9hz 5 лет назад

approximately 50 metres

@TeeDhirav32 4 года назад

I have a descriptive assessment today, im so worried because, When im practicing descriptive writing I couldn’t think of good sentences.

@MrSallesTeachesEnglish 4 года назад

Well, start by memorising some of my sentences, and see how you go.

@emma_xx_xx5908 6 лет назад

Thanks!

@studygeniusk8329 4 года назад

hi sir please can i send my answer to be marked highly appreciated thank u btw which premier league football team do u support!!!!??

@emma_xx_xx5908 6 лет назад

An tips how to improve vocabulary? I try to learn sophisticated ones but never remember them

@MrSallesTeachesEnglish 6 лет назад

Read widely, steal 5 words you like. Write your own 50 word paragraph which includes them all in either a description or a review of a film or TV show.

@suparnabasak3931 5 лет назад

We are so privileged that you reply Mr.Salles. Thank you and I wish you could send a duplicate of yourself to our school in India so that we ALL could benifit. The world is waiting for teachers like you. You are a p-e-r-f-e-c-t english teacher. I have learnt much more in one day from your videos than I have learnt in 14 years of my school life. From India.

@daliyanajafi9975 6 лет назад

Are we allowed to write the descriptive writing in first person?

@tahirah2100 6 лет назад

yeah you are

@KittyKat-hx7wx 5 лет назад

I have asked this question also. Sir replied that you can.

@finratcliffe2726 5 лет назад

If I have the choice tomorrow I’d do description unless I had a quick idea for a story, however sometimes I feel me descriptions have the flow of a story, like they keep moving (the bus one I described the journey, people coming off and on and some of their interactions and actions) is this okay. Also is description always present tense??

@stevewhitmill2037 2 года назад

Excellent

@sarag4018 4 года назад

Sir can I download this writing example ?

@studygeniusk8329 4 года назад

hi sir is it ok if i send my work by email to you to be marked please

@MrSallesTeachesEnglish 4 года назад

I probably won't have time to mark it. But post it as a comment, and I'll give you some tips

@studygeniusk8329 4 года назад

@@MrSallesTeachesEnglish ok thank u very much sir its this work: Coldness blanketed the despondent earth as it encapsulated the wonderful, miraculous and pure snow, turning it into a black mush almost instantly at the touch of the ground and stealing its beauty like the corrupt and evil rulers who abducted the poor innocent community of their commodities. These vulnerable people never knew of a life of purity, always believing that was this was a life they were destined to which they were made to believe by the tyrants of the land and they would never know of another life full of serenity and peace. In a small town, full of factories and old buildings that towered across the land filling the air with a dreary layer of thick smog was a small cottage like no other. It had broken slates upon its roof; a wall that was in desperate need of being painted; pots with meagre plants in that were dead and had been put through harsh treatment and a single small window that was murky and polluted and seemed as though it had never been cleaned. Peering through the window stood a wizened old man with melancholy that took over his face and his eyes (which were heavily affected) were miniature white circles sunken in a vast of darkness; a terror struck gleam glinted in his eyes and his periorbital area strikingly afflicted by the lack of sleep he encountered every day. The look upon his face was the reflection of the sombreness outside. Dark lashes upon his face signified the intensity of his depression and how his morose thoughts drove him to self-harm and a reduction of self-esteem. The surroundings around him contributed to his despair but also the loss of his dearly beloved wife replenished his life full of misery, grief and torment, reducing him to the most broken hearted man alive. His wife; an amiable sweet tempered women suffered through many diseases that conflicted her burdensome and painful life which she knew would soon end her life; yet she did not project this through her words and actions. She was the only backbone of his life; the only thing that allowed him to get through the trepidation he faced every day and now the only source of light in his life was taken away from him.

@MrSallesTeachesEnglish 4 года назад

The first paragraph has too many adjectives and descriptions which prove you are trying to describe. The second paragraph has too much explanation. Your sentences are well crafted, and you use contrast well. It's a 7 minus for me. Try thinking about your description as a series of camera angles filming the same scene. Show us, and we can work out what you want us to think. Happy Christmas!

@studygeniusk8329 4 года назад

@@MrSallesTeachesEnglish thank you soooo much sir it means a lot i will make sure i follow ur targets and i recently went on to your 6 camera method and i found it quite helpful and i hope i will use it in my descriptive writing have a nice day

@bananamana4565 5 лет назад

so i was looking at this for advise and help, as always it did not disappoint. also i need help im in yr11 and i just did a practice q and i would like you to check it out. i did not use this picture but pls pu if you dont mind checking it