Hi Paul, couple yars ago I´ve been feeling exactly as you describe. Couple of months ago I had my worst episode (my 3 worst days). I just hope you´re feeling better.
Thank you for your comment Juan. While I do struggle still with my mental health, in many ways I'm doing MUCH better than when I recorded this over a year ago. I had to do work to get out of the numbness I was feeling, but the more I began to feel the more I could focus on my passions again. This has helped me to get a sense of purpose back. Back then I was suicidal pretty much everyday, and now I don't have days like that anymore. It can get better even if you don't believe it will. I Hope you're doing ok as well. Stay strong.
I've been dealing with similar stuff for almost two years now, existential intrusive thoughts and numb depression. I have tried everything to fix this but nothing really works, at this point I just hope it goes away on it's own.
I'm really sorry to hear that, I feel your pain. For me it's been about 5 months, I've been on anti-depressants which seems to help calm the intensity of the thoughts, but some days are still really overwhelming for me. Same here with the numb depression, I still try to distract myself with the things I used to enjoy, even if I can't enjoy them that much. I'm sort of hoping the same too, that hopefully over time the meds will click, some people who I know went through similar stuff said that meds have worked wonders but it took several months and a lot of trial and error between different ones. I've heard of people that made it through stuff like this when they thought they'd never get out, so I'm not giving up hope.
I know EXACTLY what you are going through. What triggered my existential anxiety was DP/DR (I’m not sure if you know what that is). I’m in school for my masters too. I didn’t do so well because of this existential thoughts. In DP/DR I was emotionally numb too. Those thoughts are scary AF. I explained it to my mom. I didn’t want to scare her. My BF really don’t get it. He believes I’m throwing the relationship away but I am not. Bottom line I know what you going through.
I meant to reply to this comment a while back. I hope you are doing better and I'm sorry to hear of what you're going through. For me, I am doing much better now, but I learned that I simply had to stop obsessing over the existential thoughts. I've shifted my focus now onto my internship, my passion, and getting back to me. I've simply come to the conclusion for now that there's some things in the universe we can not answer, and some things we just have to accept the uncertainty, or we can just choose to believe in what we want. It's hard, but the more you try to focus on other things rather than trying to comprehend the secrets of the universe everyday, the more you can return back to a state of normalcy and get on with your life. Hang in there. Focus on whatever your passion is and simply be present. Over time your mind will learn to push all those existential thoughts to the background and they'll no longer be in the forefront of your mind anymore.
@@pault9544 thank you so so much for your response. I am doing better. I have moments as always but I noticed my mind shifts to things on the outside. I am getting ready to do music again so guitar lessons, draw….like when my mind unlock I have the motivation and I am able to present with my parents. I went Out last night and had a ball in 2 years! Dancing eating drinking it was fantastic. I am praying for more days like this like how I was years back before this happened.
I'm going through that but slowly improving. I think I've lost some weight, it hit me like a wall after Christmas. I've also gone through dp/dr in the past but able to deal with it better. You guys are incredibly strong to be able to still go to work and endure this. I kinda wish something could wipe my memory from what triggered this terrible way of thinking.
I completely relate to you. Ever since the "Trigger" life's been hard very hard. Everyday I wake up my ocd just won't shut up about this crap. You sound just like me everything your saying wow. I remember before all this I was depressed but man I didn't know what depression was,,,, I had my own beliefs but when the trigger happened... Idk what to believe anymore like you said. I feel disconnected from everyone. I have MCDD an OSDD-1B whenever I get stressed derealization sets in everyone feels so distant from me that it hurts me so much... I keep hearing everything is pointless that because of you know what there's no point. But I keep saying that maybe with my pain I can try to help people, try to love everyone because I think what this has tought me. Not the theme of my ocd but the suffering from it has tought me that everyone hurts an that if we stick together that's something worth believing in. Meaning no matter what I wanna spit in the face of my depression, spit in the face of the voices in my head that say everything is pointless. An chose to love everyone.
I think it’s good that you have that attitude of trying to help others through your pain. That’s part of why I wanted to upload this video, I hope that other people will see it and know they’re not alone and they’re not crazy. The spiraling thoughts is the worst part I know, sometimes I have to just stop completely because my brain starts to actually physically feel fatigued and burned out - our brains weren’t really meant to be able to compute all these big (not to mentioning contradicting) philosophical questions all at once. Unfortunate some of us have the compulsion to do so. Stay strong, hang in there 💪🏼
@@pault9544 Thank you for making the vid it really helps to relate to someone cus with this you can't talk to anyone cus no one cares about it not in a bad way but more in a they don't understand way. You stay strong okay?
@@user-tl6he1mn7s hey, thanks for asking! I’m doing ok. Some things have been better like over all mood but I still am feeling trapped I this existential ocd awareness thing ya know? I’ve been kind of feeling recently like there’s no way out of it. At least, I don’t really know of anyone personally who’s been able to personally overcome it. I know there’s been people who have been able to overcome really severe depression but idk, the existential aspect of what I’m going through seems like an impossible wall to climb. Once again, people who are really depressed feel that way, but I just don’t know how I’ll ever get over my problems. Idk, these are just some of my thoughts recently. How about you?
@@pault9544 I'm okay I understand you so much. I'm still dealing with stuff to I won't lie I'ma get check by a doctor because idk I just can't do this anymore maybe they can help me out with money you know? But I won't lie I have been trying I'm not saying to give up hell no! I'm saying I'm going to the doctor because of my DID on top of OCD an multiple complex development disorder, but I believe you can overcome this I know you can. If you have a PS4 I'll add you an we could talk you know? We all gotta stick together an if u don't have a PS4 it's okay I'll keep checking up on you from time to time.
I am sorry to hear what you're going through. Know that you can get to a better place. I did not believe that at the time of filming this, but I eventually got out of that dark period by depending on others when I needed and starting out with little things, spending time out in nature, just telling myself to make it through one day at a time. Thankfully I *am* doing way better now. The trick with depression is you really, really do believe you'll never get out when you're in it. I certainly thought so. It is a process, and it may take months, to a year even, but you can start shifting your brain to get out of that terrible loop it's in. Trust me, I know it felt like torture. Just hang in there friend.
Hey man, I’m really sorry to hear that. You can definitely get better though. I’ve since healed a good amount since this video and am doing a lot better than I was back when this was posted. I didn’t used to be one for antidepressants but I believe it may have helped a lot, I’ve been on them now for about 5 months and the obsessive thinking I used to have is much more under control now and I can focus on a lot more things. Hang in there bro reach out for help, it’s not something you can do alone.
@@pault9544 thank you bro. I appreciate you replying back. I'll keep fighting and hanging there as long as I can bro. I'm glad to hear that you're feeling better. I wish you the best my friend! Continue to heal!
