Experiencing Divorce At A Young Age │ Thandeka Mkhize 

Our host is so beautiful though

Guys am I the only one, Ursula has the most beautiful smile. She looks like she smiling even when she's not❤ maybe It's her eyes. Great show though

she looks like she cud sing Lira's 'something inside so strong'

This woman is beautiful..

I love how she went through all those phases of anger, resentment etc but is still willing to give love another chance. She deserves all the happiness and love hle bathong.

So true. It’s so important to move on afterwards. I divorced my ex husband and it was painful, but I had to remind myself why I was choosing to leave him. Divorce is painful but love afterwards is so worth it. I’m happily married again now and loving the calmness, joy, peace, freedom, trust and the love in this marriage ❤️

That thing of dating a friend 😂, personally, I'll never ever!

I love that she understands that there is nothing that she could've done, I find the narrative that both people need to always take accountability of their contribution to the demise of the relationship so wrong and unfair

Ursula's smile 🙂...love it!

I think what the guest didnt get from the accountability question will make her fall for another man with the same characteristics as her ex. Accountability sometimes sounds like this: "i contributed by not saying how i felt and expressing myself. I contributed by brushing things off when (this situation and that situation) occured when we were dating. Your role does not mean you did something to someone/ yo partner. Sometimes it means you did something to yourself eg you trivialised yo feelings, worries, concerns or you swept things under the carpet when you should have spoken up. Your partner may also not be able to tell you those things coz usually when we ask "what did i do wrong" they assume you mean something you actively did/ abusive things/ wifely roles neglected etc. Accountability means looking inward to see how, moving forward WE can change the way WE navigate to get a desired outcome. This might be a sore example but an abused person is encouraged to take accountability of staying when they were abused multiple times, for giving chances to someone who was not going to change.

Very enlightening conversation, I think this also highlights how societal norms "timelines" can also contribute to premature marriage. When all your friends are getting married and you are feeling left out then you get married ose ready and wind up having to weather the storm of a divorce. Its very unfortunate and like you said Ursula,there are so many cause for divorce its difficult to capture the whole picture in one episode with one guest. But thank you to your guest for coming and sharing, and showing that healing is possible🌸

Ursula I always remember how I used to think you were Pabi Moloi on those voice overs you did at that other big retail🎉big ups girl on your success.

Your channel is amazing Ursula; love it! And youre so well spoken and have a great interview style. I think I remeber Thandeka from UP and res; she is still as beautiful as I remember I her, my word. The amount of growth and wisdom also; touched Thandeka❤ I like how she was honest to say she did not do anything wrong; so many a times people are forced to find fault with themselves when a realtionship ends, which is not always the case.

Thanks for sharing your story, Thandeka. You've been intentional about your healing journey and we can all learn a lot form that.

Thank you for sharing your story Thandeka. Wisshing all the best in your healing journey sis wami.

Love the conversation. And it’s important that you noted that there’s a topic but each person stories is different. Interesting that would lovely to cover is grief practice and being a widow especially in the African family context

We tend to think healing process is easy, I love how Thandeka expresses the importance of moving on and recover from any form of pain.

Loved it! Wonderful show and some beautiful words from my sis. Really magical to see you speaking this way, growth, self-love and evolution ❤ And looking hot too, blessed with a beautiful smile and healed positivity.

Only seeing this now. I was married for 20 yrs I was 17yrs old and I would still divorce my ex-husband, we have 2 boys and they took it very hard. My 24yrs old son is now on drugs (crystal) as he tried to deal & hide it for all these years. All this because the father wanted to take a 2nd wife (he had to, according to his ancestors), 7 years later they now have 2 kids together, seems it was worth it. I am also getting married now, I LOVE for my children, but I wish I NEVER met this guy, ever.

It can be what you didn't do rather than what did you do? In young marriages, boundaries and interference of elders are usually a huge problem.

We're always healing from something🤯 Kunzima. I also think not all people are bad but they are bad in relationships unfortunately.

Simply beautiful!

Heeee ndade nda-subscribe(a) 🤭🤭❤️❤️❤️ The content is awesome!

Really enjoying these discussions on here❤️❤️

I liked your smile. You talk with confidence ❤

Another really dope one I enjoyed... This one just reminded of how I don't like the way traditional ways of doing things creates certain limitations that don't always work in this day and age. Also...Thandekas story reminded me of the fact that marriage needs or even a relationship needs to be a tight partnership. We need to stay firm in the name of that bond we create with each other when we decide to do this life thing with someone else.

Why are people in the comments saying she is not accountable? I mean if you take a man as a husband his role is to protect and provide for you. Now we live in a generation where we can also provide and be partners but a man’s role is to PROTECT so I don’t get your comments gunning for her to say she was never l Accountable and she ddnt speak up. I mean we all speak up at some point but men and husbands need to protect us from their families.❤❤❤❤❤

Ursula you are just sunshine maan 😊 I could watch you all day.

It would be so nice when you bring us more than one guest talking about the same topic.

Great conversation love the show, it would be also very insightful to hear the experience of divorce from a Man perspective.

I wish men knows the importance of standing up for their women in marriage. That’s the most rejection one can get from their loved ones and it really changes someone’s perspective about the “man” doing that. It’s really bad…

Ursula!!!! You are AMAZING at this! You carry the conversations so well. Thank you for doing it with so much respect to your guests and for their stories and their voices! And you look incredibly gorgeous while at it! Onwards and Upwards, Lady! ❤️🎉

Enjoyed yet another conversation...

Great conversation

Thandeka just close your ears from noise and believe yourself.Society will drive you nuts.

So glad you guys corrected the “theres nothing in the streets” for some of us who come from failed relationships i was starting to loose hope

i like your channel the topics are very nice and informative, mara ursula nna wa mpoloya witse

And yes, I agree with age being a causality factor for divorce.

First time listening to your show. I think you got yourself a new follower. And I must say in passing ukuthi you ladies look beautiful. Keep up the good work .

🔥🔥🔥I enjoyed this episode

Bonga THee Botha are "There is nothing in the streets guys..."🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I am finished ‼

Ntando Dumas vibes and resemblance t

Must repent....I have had this thought a week ago over someone that..... 'maybe it healed better when the was no child ' ....we should not invalid anyone s experience indeed, dirvoce is between a married couple not between children!

She is So pretty ❤❤

Nothing to do with anything: I love both your hairstyles 😍❤️

Ladies you look beautiful with your shot natural hair,I hope the one screening behind the camera also looks the same.

Bare there’s nothing in the streets, re kopa prayer hle😂🤞🏾🙏🏾

Ursula o montle tlheng yhooooo❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

Is she not related to Siza Ndlovu the RU-vidr

such beautiful women

I choose to differ...kids make the divorce more complicated...I know if we did not have kids with my ex I would have longgg lost contact with me...haiii he ra sotleha rele banyane bathong..

You are so beautiful my dear gorgeous ❤

I believe the reason it’s seemingly more difficult to divorce without a child is because once the divorce is finalized, you no longer have logistics to manage with that person. When a child is present, that person will remain in your life until kingdom come and you’ll have to deal with the fall out of that divorce and it’s ramifications in real time forever because you have this bonding factor. Divorce is tough on everyone but with a child, you can’t cut the chord and move on as seamlessly as you can when there isn’t one.

I just find the idea that there is a lot of people in the streets condescending to our spirit and humanity. Though it's true, but I do not believe we were made to connect with 100 people before one meets the one, actually the thought of even getting to know 10 people let alone having sex with them is beyond me. And life is too short to get to know boyfriend number 150 if he is the one & by that time my spirit would be dead. Connecting with someone is n't child's play. Let's just call a folk a folk, the dating streets are dusty out there & a lot of abnormal staff & I mean staff that should not be happening is happening out there, it's okay to accept it as abnormal, instead of trying to be positive about something dangerous to our 'souls'.

Beautiful beautiful women aghrr❤

I believe the reason it’s seemingly less difficult to divorce without a child is because once the divorce is finalized, you no longer have logistics to manage with that person. When a child is present, that person will remain in your life until kingdom come and you’ll have to deal with the fall out of that divorce and it’s ramifications in real time forever because you have this bonding factor. Divorce is tough on everyone but with a child, you can’t cut the chord and move on as seamlessly as you can when there isn’t one. I also think the question about contributing to failed relationships is always posed at women and I wonder WHY. With that said, the question that may provide more clarity on this is “what would you have done differently in the marriage?” In that case, Khanyi has already somewhat answered that to say she should have spoken up more initially. Holding a light to yourself does not mean you caused the mess. Thanks for sharing your story Khanyi and good luck in love. ❤️

What’s funny to me is Ursula points out the possible ways she contributed to the demise. She kept quiet, she didn’t vocalise.

Bathong Ursh❤

Taking no portion of the blame in a divorce 🚩🚩🚩

Even me Ursula I rather die😂😂😂

Experiencing divorce at retirement age, pensioner,no income,no settlement, nothing except for being told I divorced you and you didn't contest, I became NUMB

To be honest the interview lacked transparency. I would have appreciated more details.

hai Thandeka don't give us a new gospel, if the gospel did not work out for you it doesn't need to change sweetheart. God remains wise in His instructions to us, we are a creation with an intelligent Creator. It is absolutely ok to say; 'I am going to tell people to have sex before marriage' but you also need to say; 'that is not the true christian narrative'. Please sisi omuhle. yoh.

The conversation had nothing to do with the guy being Tsonga or his culture, I’m also Tsonga but the guy like most guys, just didn’t protect her from his family and that ultimately led to more problems which led to divorce

Cc you know your truth akere,stop explaining yourself to people who will always ask you about your contribution otherwise u'll never heal 💓

Ursula looks like Bishop Makamu's wife

Too high a premium has been placed on virginity , sex before marriage etc & that has ruined marriages for a lot of people who were raised in church. I’m glad it’s a conversation being had. You can marry someone for legal / guilt free sex

Anibahle maan😎💥

That guy asked the question as if he wasn't listening to the lady the whole time

This is 💯 my story too.

Her keeping quite it is part of Accountability.... She kept quite when it needed her voice.... She cant say Nothing... Accountability doesn't mean your part was huge.... We must view that question as an attack but to do better...... Sesi had not healed yet. You cant have triggers of something you healed from... Speaking from a divorcee. I am sorry sisi..... Healing comes from you. You can go to all therapy but have that internal conversation with yourself to heal.

I am Tsonga and I think you need to be careful on tribalising behaviour.... This is my first time hearing this and dont know any Tsonga family that do that...talk about family behavior and not the tribe.

Can you plz zoom out your cameras a bit so that we see atleast 50% of your body it goes a long way when we can even read your body language🕺

She did do something by not saying anything , by not standing up for her marriage to the inlaws , you cannot keep quiet and let ppl walk all over you, so your man left or went with the strong side that is his family So you did fail ur marriage , i hate saying this but marriage is about two ppl and two families 🥰 you contributed by keeping quiet 🥺

I dont understand is this lady saying she was perfect in the marriage i thot she wud have started with the fact tht she cud not even make a simple meal to the husband or family as a Makoti.

31:00- u were travelling alone in kenya??? as a w0man? travelling alone?? .... niBrave shem!!

Love the show, I think the lady needs Kevin samuels content, don't agree with her mother's advice

A marriage would never survive when a Man is feminine and a woman is muscular

Absolutely nothing??

u think u young at 24 ?? 😂😂

I stopped watching after she said she contributed nothing to the dirvoce...

u keep quiet when u not happy?😂

This lady might divorce again, she is doom. She ask a man what she could have done better, the answer was nothing and she believes that. Women

🥹 I cannot help but feel she’s being in denial about how she contributed to the marriage not working out.

Great conversation