I think two INFJs who love each other will have an intense relationship. Intense love, Intense arguments, intense resentments, intense love making... Everything will be intense, but as long as they use their extroverted feeling function to ensure the other's happiness, I think that love will grow stronger and stronger.
Seriously, I’m over here like wooooooow! Is that what happens when you hold out for your exact right person haha. So cool and a little ….scary. I love this ♥️
The best thing about an INFJ + INFJ relationship is that they completely get you unlike any other MBTI type. When I met my husband for the first time I felt completely understood. I felt completely relaxed like I could be myself without judgement or condescension. He just got me. We didn’t even know we were INFJs until a few years after we got married which feels like a miracle that we somehow found each other. 😂
As an infj myself i never felt so chill watching a youtube video it's almost undescribable how sort of "relatable" i felt to both of you. And btw i feel so chill that i, for the first time, decided to post a comment lol
I love every INFJ has this looks, or face when they listening to others, intense looks with confusing trait at the same time, like we trying so hard to make sense every single word others giving to us.
INFJ. The "world fixing" impulse is what has me applying to doctoral programs in political science at 42 years old. There are problems and I want to get to the bottom of them. Your dynamic is what I'm waiting for in a relationship-having a partner with whom to investigate reality.
Im beginning to think infj+infj relationships are the holy grail, you two are my inspiration and motivation to find mine. I was interested in an INTJ but I want someone that won't make me feel "emotionally starved", I've been this way for 11 years and I'm so over it.
I feel a little bit healed from watching the two of you speak to each other. It was relatable when you said you were different 5 years ago when you were “emotionally hungry”. That’s my situation but seeing the two of you gives me hope in future relationships and what I want to look for instead of diving into any ol’ relationship that comes. Thank you…
They both seem very calm, stable and grounded. I can see why people would open up to her easily. She has that type of look in her eyes like she sees through your bull****.
i am an infj and i met, what i believe is to be my infj soulmate. this may sound like a total unrealistic experience to some people and for awhile i thought like that as well. the moment i saw him sit down in front of me- oh my! i had this inexplicable desire to know who he is. for a month we were awkward acquaintances yet with the little we conversed there was this undiscussed tension of wanting to talk more. one day we decided to spend a day together and although i had rehearsed in my mind how that evening was going to go, it truly surprised me how quickly we both became vulnerable with each other. although we like being similar we both also enjoy our differences. i love the intellectual, convoluted conversations we have. i love hearing his opinions and his ideas and his view on life and his feelings. as i am writing this i cannot come up with words to not only describe him, but describe the immense emotional intimacy we hold. we both understand that leaving each other alone is such a big part to a healthy relationship and since the beginning it was like we both knew to respect that alone time. we both understand the importance of listening to each other and not necessarily having to comment on everything one says. we understand boundaries. we understand each other. and if we sometimes dont then we always listen and try. he’s is the man i have asked the universe to bring to me. i am entranced, captivated, enthralled, in love.
I found an INFP and the connection we have is amazing. It's what I've been looking for forever. I can take this person to task and we can have open and honest conversations. I can tell this person anything with no judgement. If this person says something that intrigues me I say oh tell me more about that. We genuinely want to learn about each other and support each other's interest.
Yes! I agree 100% with the idea of emotional validation from the other person helping you to love yourself. I feel like this cultural imperative to love yourself and be complete before you can love somebody else is on par with the other tyrannical notion - that you have to be positive all the time, and open and gregarious etc. etc. if you want to be successful. I'm glad you spoke about this. Thank you both for this video!
I like your point: "tyrannical" is accurate. We grow & heal WITHIN healthy relationships. There definitely needs to be empathy & care. Something that is largely lacking in my family of origin, which has made me feel like an alien. Looking for my INFJ tribe 😁 videos like these truly help.
Clay your content is extremely comforting to me. Especially when i'm having a burnout/depressive period listening to you explain behavior and personality is the ultimate care. Nothing beats the feeling of feeling understood, but not a lot of people can provide it for me. You have a beautiful way of communicating, wisdom, thank you a lot.
This is what I feel a true, real, loving, relationship should be. Everyone seems to think faking who they are is the way to achieve what they want in life and relationships, until their true self comes out little by little . If everyone could be as honest with themselves and each other, we'd see we could actually find true happiness.. it takes more work to be fake just to end up alone and unfulfilled. Being who you really are if your not a psychopath, and honest about your desires wants and needs you will find yourself in situations, relationships, in a place in life, you'd be satisfied, fulfilled and even happy..unfortunately that this will never happen due to the concept of "fitting in" so most will never experience what you two have.. I have experienced the total opposite of you have..narcissist took most of my life but I still have hope that I can have something that's real.. ty for this video you inspire hope..
I love this. Being an INFJ as well, I could totally relate. I especially liked the part where he asks a deep question like "What did you think of me when you first met me?" then there is a cut in the video.
I'm an INFJ and I don't have this attribute. If there is subject matter I am interested in, or another person who can carry a stimulating conversation, I can go off for a while. Otherwise, I'm a man of few words day to day. I personally would say I don't have a "love to talk a lot," but have a "need to talk at times."
I've watched the whole video and after 1 hour of this, the reason I want to date an infj woman right now is because you mentioned that they don't make you feel pressured to go out and socialise haha..of everything you've discussed, that's what stuck to me; guess it's one of my fears with relationships which is funny because I could go out and do stuff, but alone..you see..
Such a strong couple! I’m dating another Infj now and it feels like heaven, I have always felt like I’m the one giving much more in a relationship and finally someone reciprocate the effort, I really love that. I wonder how it’s your dynamic with jealousy, and with physical attraction to other people and if you feel comfortable expressing that to your partner, especially when the honey moon is over. Btw I Love your channel! never miss a video from you. (Sorry for the grammar it’s not my first language)
@Luna Rodriguez Espinoza - Your grammar is alright - only word order 8-9/10, but that can be improved easily and with some time. Glad you found someone who invests in you as much as you naturally have done all your life - that's very rare I'd say! (Fellow INFJ just reading through comments)
What a beautiful couple! And both of you definitely exude INFJ aura, I love it. I hope to find this for myself. I briefly got to know another INFJ and I liked him so much, felt so understood so fast. It didn't work out but I'll look for something similar for the rest of my life. Also when Lexi said that you were 'charming, interesting, quirky and a little charming' I laughed because that's exactly how people describe me often
Are you a modern woman who has a body count higher than 5 and wants to try n change him? Because if your one o them types of idiots then unfortunately you'll burn out your brains ability to pair bond and fallin in love will be basically impossible
We both hate social situations- this is me and my partner it’s so beautiful- I’m so happy to see you guys rocking this type of relationship… 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 thank you for popping up on my feed
It's great to see that others are doing well. I hope that all INFJ'S find their way to unconditional love and happiness. I will be living this wonderful life in solitude. Enjoy your journey INFJ-T Indigo
*A little introduction.* Hey, Clay. I'm from Russia, learning languages is my hobby, so I can consume your content. I am very inspired by your videos. It feels like someone is telling me my previous life. And explains why all this was. And I find a lot of things similar to myself in the comments. I will write one long letter, because I have a lot to say, and I don't want to be sprayed on comments. Very inspired by your INFJ vs INFP comparison video. At an earlier age, I often felt ashamed, some kind of incomprehensible feeling that everyone was looking at me. I was worried, worried, although there were no objective reasons for this. I've never had many friends. Therefore, I was constantly in my thoughts. There was no one to save myself in conversation. I've never had a serious relationship with a girl. I felt wildly lonely, and it continues now. Somehow I came across an article about hypersensitive people. "Living in this world, it's like walking without skin. You take every little thing so close to your heart." And I thought, this is about me! I kept saying original things. It was my choice because I didn't want to live a gray life. Sometimes it wasn't conscious, it was just the way I perceived this world. Someone didn't understand me. Someone liked that I speak unbiased as a child. I hate bureaucracy, I'm not interested in politics and history. My work is routine, I don't like it. And sometimes my attention fails me. There's a lot of micromanagement. And I've always wanted to be a psychologist, I've always read practical psychology. I also play guitar, study foreign languages. I am interested in traveling. And I think I need to develop communication with people. I want to participate in social interactions. I'm interested in deep conversations. And I'm already tired of listening to the bullshits that friends carry in the evenings. I want to be heard and expressed myself. Even when I visualized how I wanted to live. I was like a life coach, and I lived in a house like yours. Close to nature. I think you're lucky to have a place to live. By the way, have you ever been a psychologist? I think there's a lot of routine there too. Although they are advised to work for INFJ. And we have no profession of a councillor at all in Russia. I also try to write, friends say, I'm getting it. And support from the outside is important to me. I'm also an introvert, and I stutter. This combination brought me quite a lot of difficulties. There have always been two people in me, one longed for communication. And the other was afraid of ridicule at himself. I was glad when my positive side prevailed. Often the analogy has occurred to me that I am an alien. And my creators are watching me from above, how I will behave, this is an experiment. I have often heard that I am emotionless. But I thought showing emotion was a weakness. And then, I felt inside. But for some reason it was the spectrum of all negative emotions. Fear, depression, self-winding. I was interested to find out - Who am I? Find my way in life. Then I found the site of 16 personalities. The test showed that I am INFJ. I've been through it several times. And I was afraid that the test would show something else. Because I really liked the INFJ description. I even feel vanity that I am so special. But it's a curse, too. *About clothes.* In general, I like to dress stylishly. Wear some bright thing, or a T-shirt with a skull. That's how I want to do it. But when I walk down the street, again, I feel excessive attention. I'm not comfortable, I don't like being the center of attention. Then I put such things in the cupboard and did not put them on. I chose to be more socially acceptable. With my nervous system, I'm so comfortable. I also worry when I come into the office in new clothes. It is important to me how I will be evaluated. I am embarrassed by this attention to myself. After a while, the emotions subside, and I'm already calmly wearing these things. *About SE.* In fact, as you said, I like to watch movies. I'm constantly stuck in the past. I remember how it was, what I thought, what I felt. I can regret that I did not act differently. I'm trying to figure out where I went wrong. But no matter how sure I was. All this in waves. And at every moment of my life, I'm not sure when to make a decision again. It doesn't matter how far I've progressed in my development before this. I hear an inner voice, but the rational mind tries to explain that nothing will work. I'm learning to trust my intuition. It turns out that instead of SE, I have SI. And I'm completely introverted. Oh, no! *About planning.* It's easier for me to know what to do this day. So in the morning I make a business plan. I used to feel dissatisfaction that I didn't have time to do something. Then I just started writing fewer assignments. What a pleasure it gives to cross out what has been done from the list! Next, I will give an excerpt from my story. «It's difficult when traveling. You need to keep track of prices, look for hostels, build a route. I've been dreaming about traveling for three years. Have I planned anything? Not a bit! It's hard to plan when you don't know anything about the country. Whether you like it there or not... I didn't have a plan, and I wanted to postpone the trip until he showed up. Some said that without a plan is the coolest thing. When you don't know what awaits you tomorrow. No need to buy any tickets in advance. So you're more flexible. You can stay here for longer, there for less. But I'm shaking without a plan. I always want to know what's next. The illusion of control. It's difficult to make decisions at all. It's so stressful for me. When you spent most of your life on a roll... So I decided to stay in Nong Khiaw(Laos) for another day to plan everything. But I spent most of the day procrastinating. The day just went nowhere. I don't want to stay at home, in my thoughts. When you're on vacation, there's nature around. I want to walk, because you're not at home. You want to see everything, remember everything. And what a view there is from the bridge, in both directions! Mountains, river, again - watch the sunset. You don't want to photograph it all for the hundredth time. You want to scratch it in your memories. And it's such a restful place, so peaceful! It's always difficult to leave, to change the city. It seems like you were there for a short time. And the feeling that he has already put down some roots. The desire for stability and comfort. But the road calls on. And then I stayed for another day. The global plan has not emerged. The most I can plan is the next destination. Maybe a week in advance. But not for a month. There's too much suspense. Sometimes this causes a feeling of dissatisfaction».
I always thought i couldn't date another infj, or in general someone who is too similar too me. i always felt attracted to people who seemed to have the strengths that i was lacking. but seeing you in this video, so comfortable with each other, you're making me reconsider my this.
I'm in a one for all fellow infj parade, right now. I'm rooting for the functionalities you both have bravely tackled what the world is throwing at you and given meaning for propose again in my life.
What a beautiful couple you are! Sounds like a perfect relationship from my perspective 😊 I really value in-depth conversations in a relationship and it's so hard to find someone who is willing and excited to have them
The number of times I thought ‘Oh My God Wow!’ In this video…. It makes me sad though , that I may never experience a connection this beautiful in this life.
THE *STARES* I am also an INFJ and im gonna say That this is very rare that you two understand each other and be comfortable talking with each other in any topic that INFJ interest about. I’m very jealous on to this, though i found my INTJ in my life, but feelings are not really understood in our relationship. Stay strong 💪
Loved this! As an INFJ, I think it would be amazing to have such an understanding partner, being so misunderstood by the rest of the world! My partner would never even consider taking a personality test, let alone sitting and dissecting our relationship, but I find this sort of thing really interesting. It felt like I was a fly on the wall in a couple's therapy session, and the couple is doing just fine! :)
This resonates with me sooooo much! You two are both so beautiful together. Also that INFJ stare to the 2nd power is so intense! I never considered dating another INFJ.....I can imagine it is very intense.
thanks for sharing ! my wife is an intp and we have been married for 21 years. the similarity I see is we LOVE conversation and debate. The difference is that although I am sensitive, my wife prefers that I be more blunt and forthright when I feel strongly or passionately about something or she can just shrug it off. External feeling is her inferior function so she prefers to be informed about how I am feeling and not infer it. our love has matured and we are better friends and more secure in our relationship as time goes by. We also did not experience any diminished physical or emotional intimacy after the so-called honeymoon phase. 😊
If it's ok with you, can u expand more on what the intimacy part like? I have always felt like I cannot sleep with someone if I can't be understood by them and vice versa.
@@aladdout9454 I am the same way!! I think a lot of INFJs are demisexuals. I have to be intimate with someone before I can fuck them. I have to know someone's mind before I can enjoy exploring their body.
I enjoyed how relaxed and natural this conversation was and felt. Sometimes I will watch other peoples conversational videos discussing similar topics, and I will feel just a little sense of anxiety, but I enjoyed how safe this conversation felt.
My partner is an ISTP who has less staying power in one topic for long periods of time… long story short, I likewise went on an INFJ research rampage!!! Haha It did, however, give me IMMENSE valuable insights which I highly appreciated. Much of what you cover in your videos echoes my own experiences as well. Thank you for sharing your thoughts! 😊
You're so lucky to be at this point with so much life still ahead of you; 50 years ago for this INFJ in the 70s was a total nightmare; ruined my life. Wishing you both a beautiful life, from one INFJ to two!
"Stockpile of non taboo topics to talk with others" - I could do with that. I bet other infj's could do with a sheet and a list of reference of those to practice.
Thank you both for this much needed video. My thoughts on the matter feel validated . Sweet and Very Cool. 😇💜💜💜 As an INFJ myself I'd be thrilled to find that. Rock on.
Everyone in the comments are saying they both look similar and I can see why, but they really don’t look alike that much. They just have similar eyebrows, eye shape, skin color, and they’re both brunettes. They’re definitely a unique couple who really understand each other and get along well and complete each other. This was a great video Clay and you should have Lexi on again!
@@ClayArnall sorry about this but with infj's sometimes the female is slightly on the masculine side and the male is slightly on the feminine side. If you know what I mean. I think you both have that, which is really fine when both have that and not just one of the couple having that... It's perfect when both have that slight shift
@@matilda4406 the face depends but personality wise yup, females seem more masculine lol, tomboyish, thats why i rarely believe any "infj" youtubers on mbti, are actually that type
I rarely watch long videos on RU-vid, or I fast forward over sections of long videos. This one I watched all the way through without skipping forward. Why? It's not so much about content (what you talked about) but the modeling of the very things you two were sharing about. For example, I did notice the hand on his shoulder fairly early on in the video, then at the end I hear you mention that very thing being important (mini physical intimacy moments like kisses, cuddling and hand on shoulder touch). I am not afraid to admit, I am envious of what you found and have together! Thank you for sharing this deep look & conscious discussion of your relationship.
I think it's the best thing you did for Life getting a person that is like u you don't how much I have suffered for wrong choice or incompatible relationship Life can be amess
So glad you made this video ...I was just walking back from going to the supermarket and I was thinking if I was dating today. I would have pulled out the Myers Briggs test on the second date, and if they didn't want to do it, that would be an instant elimination because who wouldn't want to know? Anyway as a parent of two adults I feel like the biggest challenge to any relationship or partnership is being a parent and having even buttons you never knew you had, pushed.
I am an infj and my boyfriend are too. We are just a friend for many years. And then we step by step closer each other. And now we are dating as a couple.
7:12 when she starts to talking , i know it’s an infj is here. it just sound so patient, calm intelligent and cute somehow. being a infjs especially at a young age is hard, tired jaded misunderstood by most people and confusing
You guys are amazing thank you for sitting down and sharing that with us! It’s very obvious that you both know how to work through the tough times and that is the most important part it’s not just about the depth and connection it also needs the work and that understanding and the communication. I have an amazing friendship with another INFJ. And had the most fantastic-terrible one with another one. The latter one was very similar to how you guys describe it. We had that. But ours went bad the moment we got sucked into an anxious-avoidant loop. And things just blew up. He is anxious and I am avoidant. As soon as I get busy with work he gets triggered. And his reaction when he’s triggered, triggers me. And we were stuck in that loop for a whole year. Because they kept blaming me and that made me pull away and try to lick my wounds but his words would just wound me harder. And that would wound him. There was a lot of covert contracts and assumptions and unhealthy communication. And there was a lot of all or nothing viewpoints and that is what destroyed everything.
@@ravishingtwinkle3811 yeah absolutely :) And first we also need to work on ourselves. It may have failed but it helped me see things I was absolutely blind to.
Emotionally starving. I think I had the same. I have been working at home since 2015. People love work at home but I have a desire to talk to people even though I'm an INFJ
Hi mate, hope you’re well!! I’ve just been told by a very astute man that I have INFJ signs, took tests & it’s explained so many things & it’s almost been like a eureka moment - I’ve not stopped researching now & you’re helping so incredibly much 💪🏼👍🏼
Love this! I am so jealous. I’m and INFJ and I think this is the kind of a relationship I want. I love how you talk about handling your conflicts. I think part of that is your past baggages (hope you don’t mind I say that) and part of that comes from you two’s wisdom. I also admire you that you are growing stronger together as a couple. Love this video!
Thank you so much for sharing your INFJ's relationship story! You guys are such a great couple:) I think that It also will be so important to me (as an INFJ) to have somebody to have deep conversations with and feel that emotional connection
You gave us a picture into what it's like to live with your clone almost:)- I think the thing that I would miss the most from a relatioship with a narcissist (jokingly)in this case is not having my thoughts be so transparent and analysed all the time!! But thank you, your match is truly rare! I hope I will have this chance as well one day
I’m an INFJ and found this really interesting. Never dated an INFJ ( that I know of) and am very curious now . Great topic and great job presenting! Oh and just a bit of help , you should get Italian food tonight for dinner. Keep up the good work !
Great to hear you both talking about your relationship, always an area I have struggled with and felt I have not got much from any I have been in, in the past.
As an INFJ myself who has not had a close relationship with another INFJ, I found it interesting not only to hear both of your opinions, but to see you interact and communicate. Thank you guys 🪴
"Awkward" and "mysterious" that sounds exactly like what my husband and I thought of each other when we first met! 😄 Still new to this personality idea, but I think we might both be INFJs.
Yes! The more you talk, the more I feel you're describing myself and my husband. Intellectual AND emotional connection is so rare! We connect on both levels and we also have conversations discussing unsolvable problems and analyzing other people and their relationships. 😁
I am currently on the war path of research too 😂😂😂 Currently driving my ISTP partner insane with what I’ve learned. It’s just overwhelming and exhilarating because I’ve never felt so understood in my life until I read more into it. I got the INFJ results about 6 years ago and still wonder why it didn’t resonate as hard with me back then. It’s all I want to talk about lately lol. You two are adorable and you both seem so natural, effortless. Thank you for sharing with us!
Great video. Level of communication feels like it’s off the charts connected between you two. Also I feel like there are some interesting differences that really stand out along gender lines because of a lot of similarities otherwise - Clay’s body language can almost be stand-off-ish in moments almost as if to make clear he’s really listening and not distracted by physical attraction in the moment. Lexy doesn’t do the same, and if I remember correctly at one point touches his shoulder almost as if to remind him that both feelings can exist in the same moment. Really happy for you both that you found each other.
Oh how I amso happy that the two kinds have met that will not hurt eachother over time being hard to recall. Even though infj are just very selective on what's sentimental and understand how things sometimes don't have to be.
Watched 5 mins and I see you 2 are truly partners, each on their own space but wanting to have a healthy degree of codependency and another bit of intimate codependency; really nice, comforting and mutually edifying and caring; I want to build the same for myself, but I have found that is compatibility which is a true test of time. But not assuming a certain degree of gender role is to be delusional and toxic: because we're programmed genetically that way and for very good reasons: isn't only instinctive but a specialization each gender has honed over millennia; and it's not really going to fix any gender inequality in Society, as it's a multifaceted issue. But yes, constant nurturing of ideas💡is edifying 😊
Hi guys! I'm so glad that you guys have a healthy and happy relationship, you guys are perfect for each other❤️ This is off topic but, what are your enneagram types? Will you make a video about enneagram? Also what do y'all think of ISFP's?? They seem to get confused with INFJ's quite a bit. Sorry if I'm asking too many questions lol. Have a beautiful day 😃
Wow, I had to pause the video immediately at like 1-2 seconds in, to study her face and gather all the information. (Just to get that part out of the way, so I can then focus on what the guy is saying, lol). First impression is rather good: insightful, here with a purpose, prepared, knows what she's going to say, highly knowledgable. Ok. Now I can continue the video.
Related to understanding your feelings about something. I will come across a smell that reminds me of a time that I have mixed feelings about. As far as labeling it as more of a positive or negative experience… the first and strongest reaction to the scent memory is a kind of a simplifying way to identify my feelings about a time.
