"I can't believe you guys didn't like this movie. I just can not believe you guys didn't like this movie. Why? Why didn't you like this movie?" Sincerely, Neil Breen
(-_- ) I can't believe you commit suicide... (-_- ) I cannot believe you commit suicide.... (-_- ) How can you've done this, how can you commit suicide...
I'm reasonably sure that Breen's character is supposed to be likable in the movie, even if the audience doesn't like him. Breen's movies reeeally make him out to be the best. Even more than The Room did to Wiseau. The entire opening monologue of Double Down is about how amazing he is. He even plays freaking God, or at least a god (called "The Being") in I Am Here....Now. And yes, that's four dots in the ellipsis. God knows why that's the case. Also, in Double Down, the woman playing his wife is clearly very uncomfortable. Finally, fun fact: the DVD's he releases are likely burned from his personal computer. My friend's PS4 refused to play Pass-Thru because it thought it was a bootleg disc, which it kinda-sorta was. You actually need a DVD player or an older blu-ray player in order to watch the movie. It's hysterical. Oh, and no DVD menu, or anything. Put the disc in, and the movie just starts.
The probably underage girl in this one is very clearly HORRIFIED. It is very, very uncomfortable watching it...at one point she seems to be glancing at the crew as if asking for help.
"Oh my God. Is that you? It is, isn't it? It's you," unintentionally sounds spot-on like Bill Murray talking sarcastically to Ned Ryerson in Groundhog Day.
Yup. They're never on, he abuses them in many of his movies. I bet the phones don't work either. You know you're the greatest hacker when you don't even need a working computer to hack all the secrets.
I had to pause the movie and walk away when the doctor walks in, checks his pulse *when he's clearly hooked up to a heart monitor* and says he's not going to make it and then says she's not his doctor... WHY THE HELL WAS SHE IN THERE?! WHY IS THE HOSPITAL ROOM CARPETED?! Had to pause it again and walk away when he asked for his pills and when he get's them, he says, "I don't need these." and flushes them down the toilet.
The lady in the Rolls was trying to steal Neil's magic rock, not give it to him, but she backs off when she realizes he's still alive. And with that revelation I'm sure everything else in the film now makes perfect sense.
I still can't tell who Black Dress Shoes Guy is supposed to be. One review that I watched thought that the magic d6 split Breen into two people, like Twin Peak's Black Lodge, and that was the evil doppleganger that was naked inside the d6 (the trashbag room) and shows up in the mirror. I have no idea how that reviewer's brain managed to put that much energy into deciphering Fateful Findings without melting.
I like how he claims to have hacked all this info and in its that flashdrive and... that's all it takes for all the corrupt people to give up. Like, no one wants to rush to get together to cover their tracks, develop a cover story, or even just wait to find out if it's legit? No? You're just going to take his word for it and off yourself right there on the spot? Okay, then. If only it were that easy in real life.
And everyone is just applauding the random people who walk up and shoot themselves. No one is disturbed or questions the mass suicide going on in front of them
Mattteus Yes, that's a perfect description. His films often remind me of stories I would've written as a child based on my own dreams. A vague magic rock, baby heads in the desert, punishing criminals but not developing them as humans. It's like a weird child-written fanfiction that's not actually based on anything.
dancepiglover haven’t you realize that every single female character wants to fuck the shit out of him? Even teenage girls want to get creamed by Breen. Ask the real question
This movie has two plot summaries on IMDB. One is CLEARLY written by Breen; the other, by David DeFehr, is just amaaaazing: "A brilliantly wealthy author and businessman tries valiantly to seduce his female costars while simultaneously directing and employing them, leading to wacky hijinks and cross legged yelling. Also very good way to teach about the "birds and the bees". "
Shit I didn't even think to check Wikipedia. I just figured any attempt at getting himself on Wikipedia would've been shut down on the grounds of non-notability. Holy Baltard.
Maybe it changed over 2 years, but his current Wikipedia article references articles such as: "Local filmmaker Neil Breen's unique (and terrible) movies earned him a cult following" and "In praise of Neil Breen, an auteur who finds new and exciting ways to be bad with every movie he makes", so he's kinda notably infamous at this point.
The one with the grey shoulders? I would personally go for the Voyager uniforms; All black with colored shoulders (even though TNG is my favorite series).
1st DS9/Voyager one is great, too. I like that it made them look kinda like handymen. Like they're ready to get down and dirty in space, working hard and exploring shit! The one I have on is from a manufacturer called "Secret Wishes", which makes it sound like lingerie even though it's not. Mine was about 30 bucks from amazon, but prices range depending on color and size. It's pretty good but short in the torso, so RIP to your neck if you have normal proportions lol. Tugs at the neck like crazy.
Neil Breen is actually an architect who uses the money he gets from his projects to fund his films. I am TERRIFIED for the people who inhabit whatever building he has designed!
I am so, so happy that you watched this. Neil Breen is the freaking best. You should see Double Down. I've never seen such a masturbatory film in my life.
It astounds me how anyone can look at this and think to themselves, "Yeah, this is acceptable." I'm not exaggerating. I literally can't understand. I can't comprehend this. I need someone to sit these "directors" down and ask "What the hell were you thinking?" To go over the movie with them, step by step, with them.
love the fact that when he dumps his pills in the toilet, he feels it necessary to raise the seat. Just couldn't trust himself to hit that tiny hole the seat makes, I guess. . .
I don't know if it's THE greatest, but it is way, way up there. However, I'll still give the nod to Dead or Alive (the Takashi Miike movie - not the one based on the video game).
The Bible Reloaded, I was about to suggest that these reviewers do a Chick Tract with you. Then I see your comment at the same time! So it must be destiny, or fate, or maybe just random chance but you all should definitely do a Chick Tract together at some point.
Neil Breen has ascended to a higher form than you mere mortals. He has become the Robo Alien Space Jesus and with the power of his broken laptops he shall smite you all.
I watched this for the first time only recently, and pay attention to Allison's warning: no amount of incredibly hilarious reviews can prepare you for just HOW MUCH bonkers shit per minute happens in EVERY MINUTE of this movie. I almost passed out from both laughing and screaming "WAIT WHAT?!?!?!?!" so many times.
OMG!! Alison you can't start off the video with that! The laughter will not stop spewing forth from my pie hole. That "acting"...😂he's a national treasure! I haven't got a minute in and I already know this is one of the greatest videos of all time. My God, what am I in for?
I just had to log into my account just to give a like and comment. I'm so glad you tackled a Neil Breen film! I give your review 10 out of 10 broken laptops!
It would cost like $35 to fix that shot of his wife dying and spilling wine. $20 for waterproof bedding, less than $10 for a set of sheets at goodwill, and the rest can be spent on getting some food coloring to dye the water in the glass to make it look like anything but water... So I can see why this cheapskate just left it as is.
You guys are tackling a Neil Breen film!? This weekend just got a whole lot better. Also, a ten minute or hour long super cut of all those book throwing scenes would be nutritious.
Neil Breen is the KING of "So bad it's good" I honestly don't know how you couldn't like this movie. I have legitimately belly laughed at Fateful Findings and Double Down more than actual comedies. Neil Breen may not understand what makes his movies so special but they for sure are.
[dons Toby Fair hat] The nose thing is there to measure breathing, I had to wear one during a sleep study once. It doesn't go down the nose, it just sits over the nostrils sensing air movement. Of course, I doubt it would be particularly effective with a cast over the nose xD
I really wonder what Neil Breen is like in real life. It seems that unlike someone like Tommy Wiseau, Breen has mostly shunned the spotlight despite his internet fame. I hope for his sake he is that weird and off-putting only in front of the camera. My guess is that he is just a fairly awkward and weird guy who makes really bad movies with strange and sometimes gross plot elements, and he's also probably dabbles in conspiracy stuff and obviously thinks every woman wants him. Also, I will say in Breen's defense, even though it was yucky for him to write the teenage girl as lusting after him, at least he does reject all of her advances. The girl, now woman who played her, Danielle Andrade, grew up to be quite beautiful and did some more acting after this, with her last credit being in 2021. Anyways, sorry for the long comment, and thanks very much for the hilarious content you both continue to put out. Your videos are great. I'm a witness! I sawr them! :D
"I can't believe you committed suicide. I just cannot believe you committed suicide. How could you have done this. How could you - - Oh, hi Mark." Is it just me, or did this Neil Breen guy look like the love-child of Garry Shandling and Larry David...? Especially in that shower scene...
Much like my favorite OSW episodes, I keep coming back to rewatch this episode of yours. Even though I had watched you're guys stuff for a little while before I came across this episode, it really is the one that endeared both you and Phelan to my RU-vid entertainment!
Thank you so much for bringing this into my life. I laughed, I almost fell asleep, I got locked out of my wife's office cuz I kept running in to tell her what was happening. 10/10
I love coming back to this review because of the combination of Allison trying to engage with the movie on its own terms and Phelous just going "No." the entire time.
I'm so glad you finally took my advice to seek out the Breen. The Breen is life, The Breen is love, The Breen has just released a new movie! www.imdb.com/title/tt5445074/
I'm Allison Pregler and my friend Daniel is Phelan Porteous. Daniel is a cynical bastard who can't seem to enjoy much of anything outside of playing video games. I try to appreciate the fact that someone took the time to make five films that are so mind-bogglingly atrocious that they've become the source of much fascination for bad movie fans. Daniel and I (as well as our buddy Robert) have watched all five of Breen's films, so I guess we were all hooked on some level. If you've seen "Pass Thru," then you'll know what I mean when I say Neil Breen is MY Thanos. There's no one else quite like him!
Love when you guys do reviews together. Weird to say after not for awhile but it has really become enjoyable to watch you two work together. Hope many more years of you two making videos.
I wouldn't surprise if Neil Breen was an alien that invaded a human body like in Men in Black. That would explain why Neil moves his body so awkwardly.
The woman who ran into him could have been Nomi Malone. Maybe the dude who stole her suitcase killed her and she was denied entrance into Stripper Heaven, unless she tries to help some delusional douchebag find his way through his own ponderous plot.
That "oxygen mask " isn't even that, it's a Nebulizer mask. The blue stuff is a solution you inhale when you run the machine. He couldn't even get that right, despite it being placed OVER the paper mache " cast" lol.
Breen was born in November of 1958, if IMDB is correct. I hope that in his next film he plays a character who’s at least 65, or an alien entity posing as a human who’s at least 65. Better yet, either at least 70. That would be jaw-dropping levels of respect-Breen
Valdagast I think Wiseau realized he's a bad actor after the room. That "SO BEAUTIFUL OUTSIDE" thing by him is fucking hilarious. I love Tommy unironically, he's a great comedian.
I have to disagree, he's worse. Even though Tommy Wiseau is completely strange and over the top, at least he is capable of showing a reaction. The robots from the original Battlestar Galactica showed more emotional range.
Neil Breen isn’t fit to tie Tommy Wiseau’s shoes. I get that both men have inflated egos, but I feel like TW made his movie because he loves film while NB just wants to prove he’s the smartest person on earth.
