Fake Facts that Everyone Thinks Are True Part III 

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Danny and Simon need to cover the topics they truly want to: Cocaine and Communism.

Seems like ages since the last blaze. I thought Danny might have finally escaped

“I want to go ostrich hunting.” -Simon 2020

It's not "bau" river, it's "boe" river. Source: Calgarian

People telling people to shut up for whispering in the theaters, now that's something I can get behind!

My mom had a gradeschool classmate named "Patty Butts". In the fifties, no less.

Theatre, especially local theatre, is how many scriptwriters are able to see their work performed, as making a film/TV show requires more money. I would say YT has sort of what this has evolved into. However, I still enjoy theatre as there's a sense of community, in the same way you get in cinemas, though with the chance of seeing the actors mess up (which is why we love the gag reel so much).

Facts are always true but history is a series of lies agreed upon.

The ninja outfit in kabuki is actually brilliant because it's a STAGEHAND outfit. Kabuki stagehands are constantly running around, moving props and adjusting scenery. Audiences are therefore trained to ignore them completely by convention. So it's a huge shock to the audience when, all of a sudden, one of them abruptly pulls out a knife and shanks one of the characters.

Lemmings was the first video game I remember playing.

The cinemas in Atlanta are NOT an example of the behavior in the rest of the US...

SAM!!!! u missed a chance for a pokemon go reff at the "but then again, so do some humans" xD

"I'm gonna give myself a point for each of these I know that are fake" But... But that's the POINT of the whole video?

People are loud in theaters in the South.. lol

I had a biology teacher who taught the taste map, just so he could unteach it

Octopus are water ninjas. Some change color and texture and have 8 legs and something like 4 hearts. And a bunch of other ninja skills.

Ostriches do lay flat down with the brown neck and heads hidden in leaves or sand. Young ostriches are prey and so are vulnerable so are brown, not the highly conspicuous, adult black and white.

someone overcaffeinated today. or overcocained.

It's pretty obvious that Simon had a pretty big snorting habit around 2-3 years ago

The drum thing yo do every thirty seconds is called a rim shot and I cringe every time

It doesn't make you a bad person to hate Simon. Do it he's asking for it.

lost it at getting paid in stickers counts 3:43

The Icelandic Woman's Volleyball Team.

So when are we getting an ostrich hunting vlog?

Simon every episode: “I should read the script” Also Simon: doesn’t read the script

The reason why Dr Carrot has glasses is because he isn't a cannibal, man.

When I heard the way Simon pronounced "chameleon" I wondered why he was talking about Pokemon.

Covid has me legit depressed af. You're one of the only people who makes me smile lately. Sometimes even a laugh. Thank you Simon.

I was fairly certain it said "incelsimon" on the shirt until you opened up the jacket.

But Simon! Not reading the script is part of your brand! Also, there's definitely comedy value in you stating something, then reading it immediately after in Danny's script.

Needs a Merch shirt that says "I should have read this first"

“The infidel next door” honestly made me laugh out loud.

Disney: lays off 30,000 employees. Lemmings: and there was much celebration

Simon try’s to blame the noise of Danny beating on the basement door on the people next door, your not fooling us Simon.

Simon's jacket conceals just enough of #cancelsimon that I spent the whole time trying to convince myself he hadn't switched to a shirt that reads incelsimp

Simon: "I'm glad there's only a pandemic and no big wars" This did not age well 🤣🤣🤣

Fake fact: Simon & Danny are seperate people. Danny is simply a manifestation of Simon’s twisted mind. Have you ever seen them together in a video? Hmm...

“What do you do for a living?” “I shove lemmings off cliffs.” The past sometimes has some of the “best” jobs ever created.

Finally, we're blazing again!!!

the last time I was this early, this channel was still about business.

If you watch any other of Simon's channels you might come to think he has his shit together, but we, the Blaze Brigade, know Simon's real self!

I heard somewhere that the "ninja outfit" was originally an outfit worn by stage hands in Kabuki Theater. The black all covering outfit was supposed to help them hide in the dark, and they'd skulk around the stage while the show is in progress to move props being ignored by the play characters because they aren't actually part of the show. There arose this trope where one of the stage hands would turn out to be an assassin and try to kill one of the characters, so this is where they became associated with ninjas.

"91% of statistics are made up on the spot" Simon How did you miss the irony

11:56 Well, obviously Mr. Carrot wouldn't eat carrots himself. That'd be cannibalism.

As I skipped through the surf shark ad, I know I know, the only word I heard was “buttplugs” Me: ‘well, that was unexpected’

"Stop crying Danny! Getting paid in stickers counts!" LOL I didn't know you were my boss too. 😜

Maybe you should start the conspiracy theory that Danny isn't locked in your basement, you know, just to cover your tracks.

Simon hears the "neighbor's" sounds, when it's actually Danny digging to freedom.

Yesss!!! Last time I was this early, ETA was still around

I love how chaotic this. I relate so hard to the wiggly ADHD graphic.

This talk about world peace thing kinda didn’t age well… Did Simon forget to knock on wood?? Time to eat my carrots in prep for WW3

I wish I could have the wiggly “ADHD” thing on a push button in my life

18:46 Simon, about his desk "It's just black and plastic". Sam ..."Buttplug" HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

That bit with the letters ADHD bouncing across the screen at the beginning of one of Simon's tangents made me laugh hard enough I had to smash the spacebar to pause the video. (I say this as someone who has been treated for ADHD for about 35 years.) It is great how something so simple can be so funny.

SMASHED DISLIKE!!! Memo: Dr. Boring would like to see you now.

I observed something crazy the other day and thought “Absolute Legend!” This is your fault Simon. 😂

This video makes me think that Simon's Coke dealer stopped cutting the product with adderal.... so much Look! Squirrel

45 percent of the internet is Simon's content. Sounds a little low.

"i wish I had an Enron desk, mines just black and plastic" 😂 Sam, nice editing

I remember being taught about the taste map in school and the teacher tried an experiment to test it. He got three student volunteers and promised that they wouldn't be able to taste anything. He then put a little bit of coffee crystals on the tip of their tongues. They all found it so bitter that they had to spit it out and were allowed to leave the class to get a drink of water. Our teacher seemed surprised but when they returned asked them what it was. None of the students knew so he declared victory. This was elementary school in the US during the 70s! Almost all students wouldn't have known what coffee tasted like because you didn't drink coffee that young. I still don't understand how "you won't be able to taste it" was considered equivalent to "you can't identify it". Much harder to get volunteers after that.

"didn't movies fix this?" SMASH THAT DISLIKE BUTTON!!

The #1 doctor in the US for my rare genetic disorder is named DR. TINKLE 😋... we tease him thats its a good thing he chose to be a geneticist and not a urologist 😂

Insta blazing! Simon, check out the story of John McAfee, I think it's gonna be an great blaze. If you think DeLorean story is good this is so much better.

brother thought your shirt said "incel simp", not 'cancel simon'. so, trademarked, 20%.

#CancelSimon, but not before you purch the merch & smash that dislike button.

Also know as "Facts that aren't actual Facts" "Facts, Allegedly" and "Ancient Aliens"

Does anybody else actually diagnosed with ADHD and can relate to simons need for coffee and non sequiturs while reading?

The floating ADHD really hits hard. Oof.

"Nobody tosses a dwarf" well actually thats how the actor Beetlejuice's career got started . . . so sadly yes people do toss dwarves.

Quick Fact: When Simon said "paid in stickers" he actually meant "paid in cocaine"

As a Californian, i am more than qualified to blaze this early

Odd... normally I’m late **insert clever pregnancy joke here**

I would hope that William Butt has followed that up by naming his son Richard.

"Fake conspiracy theory" Does that mean it is real and not a conspiracy?

Simon: "I don't know what Mother _Teresa's_ first name is."

2022.... Russia.... hold my beer Simon.... oh wait i meant vodka

Am I the only one that giggles every time the ADHD bounces across the screen

Took so long, thought Danny finally got out of the basement.. poor guy, apparently not . Allegedly.

At first when he said “Cham-e-lien”, I thought he was genuinely wrong. Then I remembered this is Business Blaze and the trolling here is off the charts.

The moment he starts the ad read and mentions Iceland, I was shocked first time someone mentions Iceland and how horrible Icelandic Netflix is... Reason why I have a VPN 😂 Icelandic Netflix is horrible

Where is ETA? I am going full French Revolution here in the comments and will storm the barricades unless ETA is returned immediately. He is our saviour, and he is the messiah of merchandise. We pray for his return. I will also be starting a cult to worship our saviour and pray for his second coming. Many things will be done for our idol.

Simon, if you think Willie Butt is bad. I met someone named Dick Sweat

With parents calling their son "Willy Butt" i cant help but wonder: Does he have a brother named Richard?

Dr. Carrot: *wears glasses* Palpatine: *Ironic*

I like how you’ve categorized all your multiple personalities into separate RU-vid channels.

Mother Theresa: an old nun acting like an old school nun.

Me watching today I found out: :) New business blaze video: Yay! Fun Simon

Perhaps if we cancel Simon, mighty ETA will return

Before the reveal of what your shirt said I thought it said "incelsimp" and thought there was some injoke i missed.

Simon: don't get me started on musicals Simon's daughter 6 years from now: daddy Little Mermaid. Little Mermaid. Little Mermaid Simon: *silently screams screw you Disney!

Simon: Wasn't it that one that was really racist? Me, thinking about Dumbo: *One*?

Here is my recommendation for the conspiracy theory: Simon is really a robot. He has to many channels for one host to run, and Danny is a subroutine within the AI known as Simon.

Simon it has been too long i thought you had gotten allegedly sued don’t scare us like this

Stop crying, getting paid in stickers counts! Needs to be a t-shirt. Purch the merch. #CancelSimon .

18:50 Sam i love you

Less ocd and more Simon's back on the coke.. allegedly.

1:40 nice, that the shirt may as well be stating *incelsimp*

The how I met your mother reference killed me. I thought I was having a stroke when you said "schamaleon" :D

Movement to get “I am a super spy ninja” on a t-shirt.