Father Knows: Choosing Yourself -- Full Father Knows Something Podcast Episode 

I can’t wait for the day that Justin and Morgan have a baby and jerry gives justin advice on being a dad 🥺🥺❤️

For the girl who has EDS, hi! My names Tori and I too have EDS and POTS as well as a couple other EDS related medical conditions! Listening to your story, you were saying that on your bad days to struggle to get off the floor from dizziness. I don’t know if it’s been mentioned to you but on those days try consuming more sodium! This will help keep your blood pressure up and stop it from plummeting to the lows where you feel like your going to pass out! I love salt so I usually increase salt in my diet. on days that I’m really bad I carry a little container of salt with me! It also helps a little once you’ve passed out! Also I don’t know what county your in but if it’s accessible to you, I found that doing some exercise physiology helped to build my overall energy and feel less sore in doing big activities! I know that this condition is not one size fits all and these couple of things may not work for you, but just thought I’d share some tips that iv picked up in the 6 years I’ve been diagnosed! Btw I’m not saying that what MIL or house keeper have said or done is right at all cause it’s not and is pretty shitty. Just wanted to offer some insight on what helps me! Hope your going okay! Look after yourself x

For the girl with the “friend” who is in love with her. First- Girl I’m getting serious flashbacks to my first marriage. He was going to harm himself if I didn’t marry him. He couldn’t be happy without me and life wasn’t worth living if I wasn’t in his life. My dumb ass married him because I didn’t want bad juju on my soul. What I have learned in the 30+ years since: Feelings are not facts; NO ONE “makes” me feel any particular way, if someone says I’m a POS, I choose to believe it or not; I am not responsible for how other people feel; I am not responsible for other peoples choices in life. Those are the ones I think applies here. Second- In a friendship we go through trying times where we lean on one another. In a friendship we try not to hurt each other, if we do, we apologize and make it right. If you are the one who is constantly “there” for your friend, but your friend is dumping all their emotional garbage on you, and implicates you in their misery, that is not a friend. That is someone who is using you as an emotional dumping ground. Honestly your friend could probably use some therapy, but I’m too cynical to think he isn’t manipulating you intentionally. When you compare conversations with him (in your mind) to your other friends, do they do this? Do real friends do that to each other? Third- I get that all y’all are in university. But he is fricking 30! You are 21. Even though y’all are in the same phase of life, he has much more experience, simply because of time spent on earth. Has he told you how mature you are for your age? How he can tell you things he’s never told anyone else? Mature, emotionally healthy adults (and yes, I know you are an adult) tend to associate with other mature, emotionally healthy adults. Why is a 30 year old hanging out with 21 year olds, if it’s not a mentor/student role? By 30, your partying and care free days are gone. At 21, they are just starting. (Unless you’re super into school and no social life and it doesn’t sound like that is your friend group attitude). Honestly sweetie, 30 year olds have nothing in common with 21 year olds even if they are still in university. And 30 year olds that “hand out” with 21 year olds generally are not mature, emotionally healthy adults. And at this point in your life, having an immature, emotionally unhealthy adult involved, is probably not what you want to be able to grow and mature. Final analysis- You could explain that you believe the relationship, as is currently stands, is detrimental to him. Encourage him to seek therapy and explain that you do not want to continue in a relationship that is unhealthy for him. If you want, tell him after therapy (years of it I hope) y’all can revisit your friendship, but until then it’s best if he talks to his therapist about his feelings. I get that y’all are in the same friend group. But honestly, and I know this is harsh, y’all are in university. Y’all are all going to go onto other things in other places and maybe have some fond memories, but it’s unlikely that the “friend group” will remain in tact. Personal opinion- I would go no contact and send him the number for the suicide hotline, but like I said, I’m cynical. BTW- the guy I married at 18, so he wouldn’t harm himself, and divorced 3 years later….. he is still alive. Im so curious I have to ask……does your friend still live with mommy? No disrespect, but there are just so many similarities…. Best of luck!

The second to last story- what if Miss Terry didn't say any of that and this is just MIL's way of saying she doesn't want to pay for their cleaning lady any more?

as soon as they said that the MIL was the one that told the writer that Mrs. Terry was thinking of quitting, i thought maybe MIL doesn't want to keep paying for a housekeeper and is using the writer not wanting to start a conflict / Mrs. Terry as a way to get around getting called out on this. i'd suggest talking to Mrs. Terry directly. there's definitely something going on with this situation that doesn't fit. i wish you luck, writer!

I have a disability that causes me to have irregular heart beats and shaky hands. I lose about 4-6 spoons just making breakfast for myself. I have OCD too and it causes me to be depressed and frustrated due to lack of cleaning. Now I have ready made meals and have better cleaning expectations. I feel for OP. Before that I helped my aunt build her cleaning business. We made a cleaning service check list with our clients. That way their exceptions are met with our services. If they have budget, we sit down with the client with their check list and make sure what can be met. We have cleaned places of musicians with crazy messes in their house to very clean doctors. Some with mental illness or chronic physical pain. Customer service is our priority all out clients love us, due to our understanding/ professionalism. There needs to be better communication between OP, the cleaner, and mother-in law. Maybe sit together to get everyone/ everything on the same page. I tend to be a no nonsense person so it might be a little head first kind of approach.

For the girl whose friend is in love with her. I agree with Morgan, it feels very manipulative on his side, he constantly reminds her of his feelings and how much he suffers to not be with her, reminds her of his grief and all of that, he probably talked about harming himself several times already seeing how scared she is that he might hurt himself. This is too much to carry for her. She's not responsible for his feelings, but he's trying to make her feel that way and to make her feel guilty that she's not returning his feelings (even tho he said he wasn't going to act on it). I've been there, and these people never stop. She should distance herself for him, even if he's been a great friend before and that she's worried. She cannot handle that by herself, and HE's responsible for how he acts and feels. I feel bad for her this is a tough situation but her relationship with her boyfriend AND her mental health with deteriorate if this continues further. If you read this, I hope things will be okay for you

On the sober grandma with a business : Hi! I have an A profile background in business and accounting, I now study entrepreneurship on the side. My biggest advice to you is finding the work-life balance (which I know can be hard as a business owner!). As Jerry and Morgan have spoken about in the video, I believe family time matters to you just as your business does. It’s been assisting you in your journey to proper healing and recovery. I’d suggest your daughter informs you 2-3 days in advance before you’re expected to look after your grandchild and spend time with them so you’re able to do something called “triaging your work”. There’s four levels to this : Red, Yellow, Green and Black. Red, requires your utmost priority, yellow, is something that’ll become red in a matter of time if it’s not taken care of, green, has to be done but will not impact you or the business negatively because it’s not as sensitive. Black on the other hand, are the tasks you simply cannot get done because of circumstances.If your daughter informs you of days you’re expected to go to their place before hand, you can triage your work, get the red tasks and perhaps some of the yellows done and hire someone on contract to do the green tasks and maybe some others which may pop up when you’re with your family. This will allow you to have the time you NEED with them while also managing and implementing your business. Not sure if this is possible for you, this is just my suggestion. Hope all works out x

I really love how you share the fruits of your relationship. I always lied to myself about me and my dad, but overall we are not so great and not close at all. I also started to hate men with a passion. So good to see such a stable, wise, safe father figure and such a relaxed, natural relationship between the two of you. It gives me hope.

The story where the guy isn't putting in effort even though you've brought it up over and over again, YES. I had to tell my severely ADHD boyfriend specific things to show me love in my language. When he didn't I very calmly told him that I told my mom to leave my room empty at her house just in case. This was about 2 months ago and he has straightened up SO MUCH. Our relationship is better now than ever before.

It sounds like grandma got sucked into a MLM. Based on her confidence and vulnerability, she would be prey to these people. If this is the case, I feel for her. 💛

I love this podcast, love how jerry remembers the write ins and genuinely cares about the people

I love Jerry because he really sees the best in people. I don’t know how he manages it…

What if for the cleaning story Ms Terri has different rates for different amounts of cleaning. Maybe the MIL paid for a certain service but the writer’s house requires more services. Ms Terri could have told the MIL that the rate she hired her for does not match what the job actually is (like MIL chose the wrong tier) and the MiL doesn’t want to pay for the extra services. Ms Terri might say that she is not willing to do what she has been doing for the lower rate (if her rates are clear than that makes sense) and the MIL upset and is blaming the writer for needed the extra services? Idk maybe I am thinking too much into it. I definitely think there should be more communication with the MIL and what she paid for and Ms. Terri. Clear expectations of all parties should be discussed.

For the first story, I am also in recovery and I have to be with Jerry on this. The MOST important thing is to put her sobriety first. Specially because she is in early recovery. Right now she needs to focus in her sobriety, sometimes being with family brings up even more feelings that might make it harder to stay sober. As long as she gives priority to her meetings and her sobriety the rest will come. That is what will give them a healthy relationship with her family.

I’m wondering if Ms Terry asked mother in law for a raise and presented a list of the items she does. So I’m return mother in law got mad that Ms Terry was asking for more money so now she’s mad at them. Maybe Ms Terry didn’t do anything but her job and now MIL is tired of paying for it.

So about Mrs. Terry - my first thought was that the MIL was lying and just doesn't want to pay for the service anymore, or that Mrs. Terry did ask for a raise because of the number of tasks (which is part of the business) and MIL got mad w OP. Also, I think maybe Mrs. Terry went to the MIL because she was the person that hired her? Aka the employer? maybe the MIL could just provide funds for the cleaning service but OP pays them directly? That being said, when I was little my mom had a cleaning lady (4 kids in 8 yrs = messy home). She came once a week and had a schedule for what she did each week of a month. for example - one week she cleaned the basement, one the kitchen/living room, one the dining room/toy room, etc. my mom figured this out w her, and the only reason she left was because she moved to a different city (and us kids were older / could clean too, lol). I def think OP should have a sit down and figure out a schedule or something similar, if the MIL doesn't want to pay more? or maybe it could make it more reasonable if OP starts paying? Just a thought. Another thing my mom did with our cleaning lady was take us out to the park or to the zoo when she came sometimes, to help get us out of the way for her (we also loved to "help" but I think it made it harder on her lol). Maybe OP can do that w her kiddo. Just some thoughts. I hope OP can figure it out! I can't imagine how stressful that is, ugh.

Martina Sazunic has a RU-vid channel called King Kogi she has other channels and social media but she uses her platforms to talk about her EDS. She uses a mental tool called Build a Ladder where every small victory puts a rung on a metaphorical ladder. That ladder can help you climb out of the hole that is chronic pain depression. Most days you don't leave the hole but you might get a little higher on the ladder and that's better than nothing.

Good morning and I hope Justin gets better soon 😊

I had heard the update for Ms. Terri before I heard this episode…. But now I can’t find it 🥺 because I forgot what had happened! Morgan can you post the update on this episode? 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

As a house cleaner i would tell you to think of miss terry as a sanitizer. When i go in to a house i clean blinds, fans, lights and dust any dressers and cabinets. Restrooms are sanitized and mopped. Carpets are vacuumed and beds are made and sheets are washed. Living rooms are re organized and couches are fluffed, finger prints are removed from tv and or sliding glass doors. Kitchen is degreased and all stainless steel appliances are polished. The most that should be in the house should be shoes in the living room. But i do find it frustrating when there are personal items laying about, for example make up or hair products in the restroom i recommend a bucket or basket you can dump all of your items in to before she arrives. In the rooms there should not be an excessive amount of random items on the dressers, as we are not fans of touching personal items, as well as clothes anywhere other than in the hamper or closet (sanitary reasons). Living rooms may have blankets on the couches but should be void of items. I understand you have a small child and she loves to help, again i would recommend a basket for all of her toys, if they are scattered about. The kitchen should have empty counters ,appliances exempt, as well as no dishes in the sink especially glass, again we hate touching personal items for the possibility of braking something. This would be the most basic general clean i would estimate around $200 and up depending on the size of your house. If you need more assistance like laundry or organization of items that needs to be communicated. Other than that constant and clear communication is key. I don't understand why she didn't speak with you if there where problems because it is your house but, she is just there to sanitize, fluff and polish.

Just want to point out that the nudes were leaked with the town they’re from, and it’s clearly a small enough town that out of the photos this girl knew someone. That to me is not only a breach of privacy but is borderline doxing and a threat to their safety.

Hi there. Just a side note on starlink (Elon Musk internet). We live in rural Montana and have starlink with has been game changing for us. We pay $100 a month not $500

Why has no one considered that the last story the MIL is lying

Mrs. Terry was doing a bait and switch from the beginning. She told me, "No, I'm paid to do it," while complaining to your MIL that she needs more money.

The upside down bananas use to draw my attention all the time watching the videos lol

To the woman watching her granddaughter, could she find an aa group near her daughter and even tho she has built a relationship with her other group could eventually have one with another group as well and then have even more support and diff perspectives as well.

Mrs Terry sounds bonkers 😂

Love

It’s not $500 a month. Starlink is $500 for the satellite and then about $95 monthly

Elon Musks Starlink is $500 per month for you guys?? I have it in Australia and it's $140 per month which is probably about $100 American per month. It is higher than average over here but personally I'm rural and is by far my best option. Can't believe it would be so much for you guys because at least where I am it's awesome.

Being a 27 year old woman, that nudes story made me so paranoid. 😅

I mostly clean houses for family members, I'm not a professional cleaner, but I would never go behind someone's back and complain about their house. If it was a job too big for me, I would simply tell the person that I couldn't handle it and that I was sorry for the inconvenience for them. I wouldn't quit through a 3rd party. That's very shady and rude. Also, you should never discuss the state of a client's home with anyone else, in my opinion. If someone allows you in their home and entrusts you with cleaning and maintaining it, you treat it with respect and professionalism. Mrs. Terry sounds very unprofessional and probably shouldn't be cleaning houses in the first place. As a cleaner, I understand that people live in houses, and that naturally creates messes. A home is not a freaking museum where things are displayed instead of used and enjoyed. This really angered and disgusted me. Get a different housekeeper if something like this happens. It's the housekeeper, not you! One last thing, a good housekeeper doesn't judge a dirty house or mess. It's normal and you don't need to be embarrassed.

Yay! Never been this early!

How bad is connection in America? In Portugal, i only get problems if there is a really big storm and I don't even live in a big city

If the cleaning lady is saying that it’s because she wants more $. However, it’s unprofessional to threatened someone that you’re quitting bc you’re not getting paid enough. The case here, though, I feel is that the mother in law is not wanting to pay anymore. No cleaning person would talk to the mother in law about an issue when she’s the one telling the person whom they’re cleaning for that everything is fine. ALSO I clean for a living. When something is wrong or I feel like something can be better I talk with the people of that business not to my boss. Something else is going on there.

For the girl with the friend that has “feelings” for him. He’s being manipulative, you need to distance yourself from him. I’m sorry for his loss but that’s not your fault/responsibility to care for himself. I’m so sorry he’s doing that. That’s terrible.

F misses Terry….. hire someone else. We have someone come every other week. I have chronic pain so she helps by doing deep cleaning. She works here butt off happily and we pay and tip her happily. You find what works for you and them. Our girl even begs to clean my office but she can’t because I work in there lol. This Terry chick doesn’t mesh with what you need. Find what you need. I’m sure your house isn’t THAT bad. You do what you can sweetheart.

What's the reddit where I can submit a story?

I hope Justin feels better. Mrs Terry is full of crap. She's being paid to clean. She has an easy job if you're doing the cleaning. I think you need need an honest conversation with Mrs Terry and say you need to find a different cleaner. She is taking advantage of you amd your mother in law. I agree with going to bed. Your child is 5. She should be able to settle herself and come to you if she has a nightmare.

43:39 ahhhhh nope ….. why doesn’t your husband clean up after himself. You are not his maid. MY stepdad does this and it infuriates me😅🫤