Finding True Love With Yourself, Your Partner & Life w/ Matthew Hussey 

I'm gonna buy myself a ring too!! Great idea!🎉🥂🍾

@@Mmmmkaaay I wear mine proudly!😅🥂

a friend of mine married herself and had a ceremony too that we all went to! Great party!!

I feel like an hypocrite questionning the truthfulness of your conclusion since I very much relate to this feeling and have been under the influence of this line of thinking for a couple years now, not feeling alive like I used to, lacking the motivation to make the moves toward a better life because I lost my ability to trust that letting myself be hopeful about things will bring anything but the excruciating pain of disappointment and betrayal...but seeing your comment resonated with me and provoked a response from my intuition, or rather it has brought its volume up from the very quiet volume it usually stays in, quiet to the point where my noisy, chaotic mind almost always drowns it and prevent me from "hearing" it...but it's making me feel how this line of thinking is a dangerous, sinister lie that appears logical and like a safer way to live without leaving ourselves vulnerable to more disappointments and betrayal, but is actually deceiving us with half-truths, and prevents us from truly seeing how much more pain following it is ultimately bringing into our lives. I fully understand where you come from and I am sorry that you got hurt to the point where hope feels so dangerous that it can't be worth it, I have been/I am there also, but I have this deep "knowing" inside of me that tells me that this path - while appearing safer and less brutal, even sorta peaceful - ultimately only leads to the corruption, sickness and death of our soul... I'm not calling you a liar by the way, I'm saying that this line of thinking is deceitful, it promises us a form of safety that is enticing after having been wounded deeply from following our hopes for love, joy, fulfillment, etc...but in moments of stillness where I'm less agitated and tormented by all the trauma I've accumulated, allowing me to find more clarity, it appears clear to me that this holding to this enticing belief is tricking us into making our lives infinitely more miserable than those past disappointments ever did to us, which puts our souls at risk of going through some seriously dark stuff, and recognizing myself in what you said, I wanted to share this intuition with you, with the hope that it may cause you to question if this belief really is true and if it really shields you from pain, or is allowing a deeper, more insidious form of suffering into your life. I myself still need to work through this stuff since I know that once anxiety takes back hold of me I will be enticed into falling back in this pattern of inaction and refusing to be hopeful and live accordingly, but something is telling me I need to fight this tendency, for my soul needs me to find back the courage of living with hope. I pray that you find a way to live that makes you feel alive and loving

@@AlbertoBalsalme Oh no! I get your point. You are right. The avoidance of life might save you pain now but it will end you. I know that very well. When you roam the desert trying to find the oasis but end up stumbling on a mirage the thing you end up with is just sand escaping through your fingers. Yes, you might learn something in the process but if the situation persists long enough the only thing you will remember is your pain with nothing to offset it. [See “you” as a generalization] When nothing can mirror the thing you know you need, your mind becomes an illusion, an empty promise. You question if what you need even exists. Then you curse yourself because you need it. You blame your pain on your needs because you cannot blame it on anything else since there is no proof that your need is real. You might read it in a book or see it on a screen but that is too far removed from one's life to feel that is possible for yourself. Then comes deep envy, then it becomes bitterness that in turn becomes rage, which will end with the impulse to take from others what you don't have. This is how it will end you. When I'm drowning in pain in the moment what can I do to calm down my system? There is no magic pill or spell that can help. Nothing in my reality ever showed me that I can find better relationships by putting in the effort. When I move from one person to the next, choosing completely different environments to maximise better outcomes, the result is the same. People that have no interest in going to the deep end. I just do not understand why those who I love to be with are not available and those who drain my energy are plenty around me. If I were to cut them off, I would be left with no one including family and friends. So, for me to be with other human beings I have to tolerate the pain they cause me. I have to numb myself every day to try to reach the future.

@@AlbertoBalsalme thank u so much for writing that

literally came back to add a comment that i want to cut my heart out, cuz im feeling kinda low. and saw that. cheers

​@AlbertoBalsalme thank you for sharing. This comment really helps me see my pain differently.

Best of luck to you in that journey Brett! -Tim

🎉😂

Every man I know who's married is miserable. So finally the other day i asked one of my closest buddy 'if you could do it again, knowing what you know now' before i even finished the knowing, he said no, he said 'if you're feeling alone, just travel more, you have the money' and i said 'yeah but ... and he goes, look bro just don't especially not now a days' wow, just wow. And he's someone who never takes a strong stance on something. Marriage is just not it anymore!

​@@ibizawavey8630I agree with your buddy...it's a prison😢

​@ibizawavey8630 and I am a female 😂😂😂