Firas Zahabi is WRONG 

I think Firas is on to something...Because I never forbid Anya from training with other dudes, now she knows that there are guys better at Jiu-Jitsu than I am...I messed up.

unfortunately it has everything to do with islam.

I just can’t imagine the cognitive dissonance it takes to be a jiu jitsu coach, understand it’s effectiveness, particularly for a smaller person versus a bigger person…and then not believing women should roll with men.

You were respectful, while firmly stating why you think it’s important to have a welcoming space for everyone who wants to train to do so. Couldn’t agree with you more! And as an Ohio boy watching from Hokkaido Japan I was VERY pleasantly surprised to hear such good Japanese coming from such an unexpected source. Onihongo ga totemo jouzu desu ne! Bikurishita! Zehi, ganbatte kudasai!

I agree with your general line of argument, but you stop short of calling Zahabi out by implying that it's okay for him to oppress his own wife and children cus it's his house. Or it's okay for him to preach misogynistic values as long as it's inside "his community"? I know you're just trying not to stir things up too much, but let's not forget that women are people too.

He's afraid of women and homosexuals? This Zahabi sounds like the real coward. So weak.

Proof that you can be a good coach and not good in other things.

Learning to defend yourself when someone is mounting you or between your legs is an essential tool for women as there’s a very serious traumatic event that fits that scenario. It’s also crucial for women to train with bigger stronger men in a safe environment. I know ladies who may not overpower a man but through technique and using their physical attributes to their advantage (relatively longer legs than a men equal in height) can routinely sweep and submit larger men

I love the way Coach Zahabi coaches. But his opinion on rolling doesn't matter to me as it comes from his belief system. To me, his beliefs (and their contemporary religions are myths and fantasies from old comic books from a time we as humans didn't know better.

Imagine thinking BJJ is a life-changing sport that gives you confidence and makes you resilient - and could even help you survive an attack from a larger opponent - but then keep your family, the people you care for and love the most, from practicing it.

"how ridiculous? you see your wife/girlfriend as a human and allow her to train with other male humans?" I think it shows true cowardice and insecurity if you can't trust your significant other around other people or other people around your significant other.

I respect zahabi's opinions on mma and bjja, but when he starts talking about women, gender and social issues, it gets embarrassing

Martial arts is for everyone. Period.

You have been the most mellow youtube martial artist that I have come across, which is why you blowing your stack a little bit was both amusing and impactful.

I get it in Islam were not allowed to touch women who were not married too I'm a Muslim and train BJJ/MMA When I roll with women I take it easy on them And I'm not married So all good If I train with a women who is married or whatever all good I only see it as training nothing more Been doing this since I was 14 This my 3rd tour Now I'm 29 years

Firas is very intelligent and charismatic, but more and more is becoming a religious dogmatic while hiding behind his philosophical knowledge and using that as a crotch

Honestly, I think Zahabi isn't just wrong, he's the one who's being cowardly here. To be afraid to let your partner roll with members of the opposite sex, because you're afraid they'll be tempted, or they're somehow losing value by being touched by someone else, is a mark of insecurity. Everyone has their own insecurities to grapple with, but to be convinced that this prospect is so scary that you can't accept other men could legitimately be comfortable with it, that strikes me as cowardly.

Yeah, that Zahabi dude should definitely shut up about women.

"How dare you let your wife get on the mat and roll with another man ?" Well because in addition to what Ed explained and what some very true comments pointed out, dear sir, you DO NOT get to decide what your wife can or can't do as a hobby.

How dare you let your wife leave the house

His traditions revolving around primitive peoples mythology keeps him locked into the mentality that his wife can touch other men.

this post is TL:DR... I'm sure I've mentioned before that I'm a navy and NSA vet of the Iraq war, necessitating a de facto scholarship in the realm of social sciences for the purpose of predicting threat vectors. which is fancy talk for being taught how and why people are awful so we can follow the bad apples... There is NO WAY for you to address this topic at all, without touching those topics you're trying to tap-dance around. In modern terms, major sects of conservative religions and cultures near and far are Cases in Point of what happens when insecure man-child incels get into power. These men (not all are men, but the proportion is overwhelming) don't give a crap about anything they espouse except insofar as it can bolster their own vices. From Colonel Custer to Jefferson Davis, to Joseph Smith to most Popes to Henry the VIII to Emperor Nero to Ayatollah Khomeini to Putin to Pol Pot to DeMarco to Xi to Kim Jong and on and on and on it's the same old song and dance with the same motivations. They'll say it's providence, gods' wills, the natural order, birthright, duty, "just plain right" or just "the Law". whatever they have to say or do to have it their way, they will. Cravenness and Greed are not uncommon traits. As you note with his projection, the first clue that a man is weak is that he's quick to call others weak. He assumes men are rapists because he's (at least mentally) a rapist (active or repressed) (Note: In parts of the middle east there is a virulent "rape culture" but it is not unique to middle eastern cultures, by any means: I'm looking at you evangelicals etc. that claim spousal rape isn't a thing...). "Real Men" don't have to talk about being "Real Men" all the damn time. speaking of anecdotal evidence, I tend to assume that any man that speaks that way is either a repressed homosexual themself, or packing a 10 second tic-tac... or both...

Many people aren't mature enough to roll with the opposite sex. There are reasons I can see on both sides. Part of protecting your family is giving them the tools to protect themselves. But also making sure it's a safe place with the right people for your family to learn with. Just my opinion, Thanks. (Ps. Loved the rant!)

This is interesting as I did actually leave a group purely because there were a few people (enough to make it awkward) that I didn't enjoy training with. It wasn't the only reason I left. Not going into the reasons behind it, because a lot of it was probably my low tolerance for human intercourse, but it never once occurred to me that I could refuse to train with someone. I do recall waaaaay back in the 90's that a woman from a karate club I attended was thrown out because she refused to train with a particular man. You'll immediately think he was a sex pest or perv or something but he was one of the nicest and lest offensive people you've met, but had sever confidence and possibly mild learning difficulties which made him an easy target. And she refused by pushing him away and shouting 'I don't want him touching me' or something like that, I wasn't there. It sticks in my mind though because the joke of an instructor rather than confront her about it got me to put a letter through her door telling her not to come back. I was young and easily pushed into horrible jobs... sue me. And she had started trouble with no less than three other people in the group including offering up fist fights to people, so I think it was more just a convenient excuse to get shot of her. But I have to admit I've never understood the Muslim approach to women, or a lot of other things when I think about it. I don't class myself as a christian anymore (and I find it interesting that the spell check correct the capital letter for Muslim but not christian) but still a lot of christian rules still challenge me and make me think about my beliefs, but a lot of Muslim ones just confuse me.

I am *by far* NOT an expert on Islam. What very little I know is solely from meeting Muslims and interacting with them. But does the Quran not say: The Prophet (peace be upon him) said, “Seeking knowledge is an obligation upon every Muslim.” [Sunan Ibn Mājah 224] Women in Islam are not discouraged nor deprived from education, but rather encouraged to seek it. If you're a coach, fine you can be choosy. But if you run a *school,* and are refusing women to learn, you're going against your own religious teachings.

My sensei is a woman and she is a amazing martial artists and person

'Firas Wahabi' lol.

The issue is that he doesn't have a say in the Muslim community there's a difference between the cultural aspect and the religious aspect of Islam. And a lot of these opinions that he voices simply stems from the cultural aspect more than the religious aspect and that's what makes it such a huge negative It isn't necessarily the religion causing the issue more than it is this man's cultural belief of how he perceives his religion. I don't care what level of a coach he is he'll never earn my respect or any real practitioners respect in or outside of the Muslim community. And people that believe are follow his guidelines just because they're Muslim are again betraying their religion for their cultural bullshit.

I remember a dude whose kid (like himself) had troubles in school and on the street. I had offered to have the kid come in and train. After a few times offering the opportunity, the father exclaimed "I don't want him to be able to beat me in a fight". I told him that was a weak ass excuse and that he was chicken shit! This dude you are calling out is fragile mentally and emotionally. Thank you for the video.

the insecure muslim

Was that Southern Japanese towards the end? 😂

I can only assume that no women train at his gym. Or is he ok rolling with another woman outside of his own wife/gf...? Does he not train any women in TriStar?

Firas does have a point…. Why can’t she roll with her husband? If it’s self defense …. Get a gun.

Its really unfortunate. I have competed in both boxing and kickboxing. I am slowly getting more into MMA. Theres a lot of nice people in the community. However.. those conservative views hold dominate based on my experiences from training and competing. I was raised in a religious background too but I am at this point in life to live and let live so as long as nobody tells me how I should live my own life. What bothers me in the martial arts community as well. Is that mystical view that most of us are wise and have sage like knowledge of the world. Never was the case. We are all just trying to figure things out like everyone else. It really sucks that close minded view really turns some people off who are just getting into fitness or even martial arts and we all get lumped into a stereotype of some meatheaded reactionary. We are not a monolith. Sorry for the rant. But good video brother keep it up!

No excuse, Zahabi is scared of being told no. Totally support the right to say no to any situation that makes someone uncomfortable, for reasons religious or otherwise, but that doesn't mean you get to suppress the right of others to say no and defend themselves. Plain and simple.

He aslo said you shouldn't train in weapons which dumb 😂😂😂 of course you should train in weapons

I like pissed off Ed! I want to see pissed off Ed Spar Gabriel Vargas. :) I think you were on point with your comments. If you don't want to roll with someone, then don't. But don't try to prevent others from rolling with them. It's that simple.

Firas losing his time in the limelight, no gap to promote him anymore.

I don't know where this "your house, your rules comes from" - but where I live in Scandinavia I would consider reporting somebody for talking about controlling once wife to the degree referred to here. I don't know the English legal term - but that's 'social dominance' or manipulation or whatever. If partners have a conversation where they agree that one person should not... Do bjj, do bondage, eat cabbage... What ever... Thats fine,; great even. I love consensual decisions. Hell - I do MA I love consensual violence :-D But talking about what you 'let your wife do, and being a coward for not enforcing rules on her, is borderline illigal here. Maybe something gets lost in translation but.. Is that normal way to think about it in the states? In Canada? Is there a consensus that the man of the house can make decisions on behalf of a wife once...? Moved in? Married? Because I know Firas represent a religious groups opinion as well - but the way you talk about it... "THATS FINE"... Is it? Or are you just being diplomatic... It seems so weird to me.. :s Sorry if my language makes this too confrontational or incomprehensible. Cheers

I've never been in a relationship before but if I'm ever on my first date I'm going to bring her to a jiujitsu class, that way she can be safer for future dates 😄. Thank you for sharing ☺️.

At first I thought Firas was saying Boyfriends and Husbands need to learn BJJ with women and they are cowards for not trying... Hmm ... guess I was wrong... LOL

Bad look for Firaz. Zealot.

Totally agree, everyone should be able to choose what to do with their lives as long as they don't harm others. Bjj as a sport or self defense is a pleasure that should be enjoyed by men and women alike. Great video I love the soundtrack.

My partner is a 6'2 lady from Denmark who boxes and works in the trades, covered in Nordic tattoo's. I'm not 'letting' her do shit lol. Big sweeping statements like that are so annoying. Where he lives(Quebec) though has some pretty strong laws around being public about your faith though for whatever that's worth and he faced some pretty extreme racism himself in the last year.

He just doesn’t Have control of him self. It’s not tht big a deal. Just roll.

Agreed, it's super hard to say "female" without sounding like a county sheriff or a Ferengi. Thankfully it's almost never strictly necessary. 😆

Does he train his wife or daughter if he has any or does he think he's always going to be around to protect them? Jiu jitsu doesn't have to do with being sexual or does he think he's too weak to not make it sexual with a female student?

The southern accent Japanese was so wrong but so right

I wanna hear em say party on like I’m gettin welcomed into a hibachi place

Just a comment for support. Thoroughly and passionately said.

Loving the Kick Start intro, and your viewpoint on this

The video is about as nuanced as its title.

There are points made by Zahabi which may have merit. Maybe you guys can have a dialog on either of your platforms to iron out the differences? Similarly, when Armchair Violence brought up the topic a few years ago -- but it's about men not feeling comfortable rolling with women -- I agreed with those men. He addressed the fact that it's very unlikely that women would come into any given gym to intentionally cause trouble, but because of certain hashtag movements (among other things), it only takes one accusation to destroy a man's life. It just isn't worth it to roll with someone, so they feel "included." Now if (and only if) the dude brought it on himself, then so be it. In any case, now that I sometimes teach others, I definitely see your point -- and it's well made. I hope we can occasionally disagree with others without being completely disagreeable, and without losing subs just because people don't always agree with us.

6:49 True

In a kung fu movie or some shounen anime when someone says "we don't allow women to train here" we immediately roll our eyes at what must be a cliche bad guy, meant to represent the worst of the archaic traditions in martial arts culture that died out long ago....are we going backwards?

No sir you are 100% correct... If you don't feel comfortable rolling with somebody that is your choice. But don't tell everyone else who they should or shouldn't be rolling with or training with. As you said..." projection is showing".....

I'll add that I have had the privilege of training under a savate, kickboxing champion that has trained alongside Paulson, Goodridge... and he trains his daughters in the art. Why? Because it works and protects them. I guess if your pride is more important than your families safety- Firaz is on to something. I guess he's shown he is a phenomenonal trainer for a certain set of ppl. Not that he gives a flying f--k what I say. Interesting to see what GSP et al. has to say about this.

Fortunately, I never seeked for Firas Zahabi conjugal advices! 🤷😂

I just joined a dojo and began practicing Japanese Jujitsu and I joined BECAUSE the head instructor wants young girls and women to learn to defend themselves. At my last class, he was surprised but happy to see a class with more women than men which he said doesn’t happen often in his dojo. It’s up to responsible, empathetic men to HELP and TRAIN women to defend themselves and provide a safe environment to train. Oh and grappling is absolutely not sexy. Wtf. I’m getting put into uncomfortable positions that I have to get out of. The last thing on my mind is being aroused by the physical contact. I have massive respect for men that are welcoming of training women in this art/sport dominated by men. The skills are highly useful for women.

Yeah I can honestly say that I dont agree with Zahabi on that point. At my Academy we encourage everyone to train with everyone within their comfort level but I wouldn't tell a woman not to train KB or jiujitsu in fact I encourage them even more! I try to make sure that they get rounds with a higher belt to know that they are in good hands. I'll also add that anyone who wants to roll with me, to roll with me, doesn't matter that I'm a Black Belt, like come pick my brain, ask questions, because my job is to help you get to your goals. Plus holding pads for my GF is a great bonding experience. Great video as always Ed, I know I feel weird saying females too, Tate kinda soured that word lol

Just to play Devil's advocate he didn't say all women . He was speaking of married women . I believe there is a point to be made for it . I've watched UFC fights among men and thought some positions they were in looked kind of erotic or in positions I may have been with a woman . Also TB 12's ex wife has been linked to her " Kids " ju jitsu instructor . There is a certain level of comfort another man shouldn't have with someone else's spouse. Whether that is personal space or touching certain parts of her body . Also with the fact that 70% to 80% of divorce are initiated by women with the excuses ranging from he cheated on me , he's not masculine enough , he's not paying me enough attention , he's never home , etc . The incidents you mentioned were incidents of unwanted contact . Like I said just play devil's advocate .

I have a lot of respect for Firas Zahabi, but I couldn't disagree with this stance more.

Hey Ed, I’m a female that loves martial arts, really enjoy your content. Just wanted to say thanks for this video. It’s usually hard enough to enter a room where you’re often the only girl, but having someone as respected as yourself publicly trying to make it a more welcoming environment and standing up for everyone enjoying the arts together and having each other’s backs makes a difference. Thanks Ed, keep up the great work! ❤

I'm going to keep my comments on this channel light-hearted. I respect you too much to start debating the morality of accepting cultural differences. That being said, I see some shared traits among men who do or don't "let their wives" do things.....

If a lady doesn’t want to roll with a man, it’s fine. Likewise, the opposite should also be fine. Be consistent

This is why I hate cults.

So, one of the things I keep coming back to about the nature of self-defense especially, as distinct from but intersecting with what we may call "a martial art" or "martial arts," is the importance to self-defense of making people feel safe. To do "self-defense" on "da streetz," or in the home or other meant-to-be-safe places where immediate violence sadly occurs, or anywhere else, safety in relationships (or lack thereof) seems to consistently be a really big factor. Like, that kind of violence functions as a means to resolve feelings that would be better-resolved by therapy or supportive friendship than by throwing hands and applying submissions. Duh, right? So it makes me feel sad, too, to see moments where opportunities to train *that* are not merely missed but made a subject for hostilities from a teacher, coach or anyone else who sets out to be "on our side" in our journeys to feel safe by growing more capable. It works against the point completely. Now, like a fair question to my winging here would be, "Who is this guy trying to help feel safe with this kind of stance?" The clear answer is, "People who feel they have to be like this guy is saying, because they feel themselves held hostage by whatever social forces." Fine, then. No disrespect to people doing what they must to live will come from me. But it makes me feel sad, to see a coach encourage someone who is bullied to keep being bullied, without a word of toward discerning how to take up their side of that relationship on their own terms. Stopping now because I really do have a sermon/rant in me about it which could go on forever.

Look i don’t think letting your wife train is a “disgrace” like he says but to pretend like you can’t see where he’s coming from makes you actually look just as if not more ignorant, when you’re in a relationship it’s probably not a good idea to put yourself in situations where temptation could take you over, if you think this makes me insecure you’ve probably been cheated on in almost every relationship you’ve been in. It’s especially bad in bjj there’s literally a stereotype for coaches falling inside the the new girl when they walk in. A good equivalent would be if the man in a relationship was training beach wrestling with 20 women every day, I would seriously doubt that that his partner would be 100% okay with that

He was invited by ahmed subbor, and by checking his content it's clearly dedicated to Muslims, so the message is clear to Muslim Community, so nobody is projecting his believes on nobody.

well said dude everything on point.

Firas is a great trainer, but this is just silly. Women should be training because there isn’t always a protector. It’s ok if you don’t want to roll with women that is you it’s fine. I don’t roll with women to often when I do because I am a very big person. I also don’t roll with men who are too small for me. I can only pull my strength back so much. I still roll with smaller people and moderate the size difference but there is a limit. And that’s not in them that on my inability for finer control

The ending caught me off guard hahaha

Good video

Not the usual vibe I see from your videos but then again, not the usual thing you react to. You got good points with regards to online etiquette and may be his statements should've been worded to be beneficial to all. Or just plainly be his opinion. And probably he has some other coaches under him that rolls with other genders for his gym. I dunno really. Anyway well said to your points :)

thanks 4 this video. Zahabi is totally outdated. and i want more people like u, advocating how insane he is. the one thing is good about what he says, is that we actually listen and debate his fallacies

I'm fairly certain that Rickson himself features his own wife in many of his videos. End of story.

9:39 😆😆😆😆😆

Blew my mind when you started talking Japanese…awesome dude!! Great video, we covered it in a podcast as well, i agree with you 100%

Be never told anyone how to run their schools, he just said it how he sees it.

He said he won’t let his wife roll with another man, not train jujitsu in general. He said in another interview that it should be a requirement for you to make your daughter & wife AT LEAST reach a blue belt in jujitsu. Don’t take stuff out on context. His wife has a blue belt by the way

I am not gonna say anything other than all my experiencies rolling with women have been bad, always whiny and you have to go 10% because they are like those wimps that say "you are too strong man" but instead of saying it to you they'll publicly complain. Purely anecdotal, I know, I am glad you have had different experiences tho, cool. I ain't rolling with women anymore tho

re: projecting and telling people how to live their lives. He was asked what he thinks of men who let their wives train jiujitsu with men and he answered honestly. everyone has a sense of right and wrong. it's not like we all stay quiet about what we think is right and wrong 24/7 incase someone with a different sense of right and wrong disagrees. Firas believes that men who aren't protective of their women are bad for society. if you thought something was bad for society , you;d sometimes say so too. you wouldn't say "live and let live. I'm not going to project" if you saw someone doing something unjust or wrong in a way that you believed harmed society.

The best point you made is that if he's going to call all men who let their wives train with men cowards, then he should say that exact same thing directly to the faces of the mma fighters and coaches he knows who let their wives train with men, or else he's the one being a coward. That's going to be very difficult for him to deal with. it was very merciful of you to save that to the end of the video where the fewest people will see it rather than leading with that point at the beginning of the video. perhaps too merciful. if you had made that point at the beginning of the video then the video would have been a lot more hard hitting, attention grabbing, spread a lot more and he would have felt more pressured to respond, and other people with more clout whose wives and gfs train would have made the same point to him. "hey are you going to call me a coward? come and do it" , especially mma fighters since they'd be like "you're calling other men cowards when you've never stepped up as a pro and only ever did coaching?" If I were you and I wanted this to get more traction, I'd upload a youtube short video and tiktok of just firas saying "they're cowards those men who let their wives roll with men" together with that clip of you making the point about will he call gordon ryan and john danaher and mma fighters cowards?

Absolutely based

I have so many things to say but I'm just going to go with, good video, Ed!

Letting your wife train BJJ is cowardly, but getting butthurt about her having the same martial arts resources as you is courageous? No idea what Zahabi's logic is here.

Damn, Ed don't mince words, tell us how you really feel. Lol.

The problem is that this is not only what they believe in and their choice, but they try to impose their nonsense on others indirectly

Great work, Ed. I really enjoyed this content (and I don't even do BJJ) :-) You are so wise.

As someone who is looking to get back into martial arts and considering BJJ this is rather nonsensical from Firas and you make very good points. To be completely honest, I'd be very of rolling with some people, but that is more connected to me being a rather uncoordinated oaf, severely overweight and used to using more strength than is probably necessary. But that is connected to concerns about injuring people and is nothing that cannot be remedied by a good coach (and getting in a better, healthier shape)

Holy shit! Ed can get mad!

this is such a brilliantly articulated, nuanced take, much respect brother!

Is RU-vid deleting my comments?

In my opinion this doesn't really matter, He can believe whatever he wants to believe ( free speech remember) this doesn't make him a bad coach

The sad part is that what he said actually happened to me. I know it was incredibly unlikely, but I guess it was just the way things went for me. I do muay thai, but my girlfriend of two years preferred something with less hard contact, so I recommended she try a Jiu Jitsu place in our area. Long story short, a couple months later she tells me herself that she's been cheating on me. It was definitely not just rolling that caused the situation but I can't deny that physical flirting would have been part of it. I know it was more of a case that I just wasn't good enough, but it's kind of put me off from relationships in general.

If a woman teaches a woman, thats not a problem.

It’s simple. Islamically, after puberty age where appropriateness is a stronger factor, women can train grappling arts with women. Or with their own husband, or brother, or father, etc. Same goes the other way for the man. Point is training can be done, but we always keep our values in mind first.

you don't understand Firas and other people with a traditional mindset. They aren't worried their wives will start an affair because they sparred with a man from jiu jitsu class. The issue is that it's dishonorable and improper to let a man roll on top of your wife and grab her body like that, especially just for recreational purposes . It's similar to them to if you let your daughter or wife walk out the house in an extremely revealing top. It's also not a matter of not trusting your wife, but not trusting the men at the gym. A gym might have a hundred regular male customers, believing that every single one of them is going to be a saint is delusional. That doesn;'t make you insecure, rather if you believe that every single male customer at a gym is a saint then you're naive and delusional. So it's reasonable not to want your wife rolling with a few men who are going to take gratification from pressing weight from their hips or chest on her or staring at her chest up close or holding onto her body. Traditionally speaking, it;s honorable if a man is possessive of his woman and doesn't want other men to experience her , even if that experience doesn;'t lead to pregnancy or coitus or sexual contact. e.g. possessive of his woman not and wanting other men to see her naked. possessive of his woman and not wanting other men to grab her hips in north-south. etc.

They have women only classes near me. Many women aren't comfortable training with strange men either. I trust my wife, just not other men. I also won't roll with women because I have to think too much about where not to grab/push from and really go like 70% as I'm a bigger dude.

I don’t wanna say it but Firas has a point. Some people shaming him for not rolling with women so he shame them back.