FIRST TIME LISTEN | Ren x Chinchilla - How To Be Me (Lyric video) | REACTION!!!!!!!! 

It was his best friend Joe. He jumped from a bridge. The RNLI spent days searching for him, first as a rescue and then as a recovery. He was never found sadly. Ren just presented the RNLI with a check for $21K (pounds sterling though) that he fundraised as a thank you for their steadfast and tireless efforts to find his friend. And he did it while in hospital fighting for his own life and the funds to keep doing so. He said somewhere that he got to the bridge 5 minutes too late. So it's never ever left him. Ray, you are sunshine. Keep shining. WE need you desperately. And 2 hours ago, I didn't even know you. That's how brightly you shine. xoxo

Neither you, nor Ren, ever disappoint, my friend. Thank you for sharing your time with us. It's a blessing. ❤🔥🍻

The live version of this is awesome! Their chemistry when they sing is beautiful

It’s extremely hard to listen to this song. It hits me in the gut. When I was a teenager I tried to end it all and often thought people would be better off without me. Thankfully I didn’t and I now have 3 kids that need me and look up to me. I’m still hurting and struggling with negative thoughts but I push through them for my kids. I am thankful I went through hell and survived because I learned how precious life is.

Your sermon was as amazing as REN’s music.

Thank you for sharing yourself. Suicide is not selfish, though. Mental illness is no more selfish than a physical illness.

Brother... I feel like it was God that made your reactions pop up a few days ago just so I could see this. I needed it. Thank you.

🙏💖💖💖 So soooo glad you stayed with us!!! THANK you for goin THROUGH it! 💖

You really need to watch the one with Ren and Chinchilla performing this live. It has a profound impact.

I tell myself, I can wait until tomorrow. Then the next day I tell myself, I can wait till tomorrow again.

When I first started listening to him I would only listen to Hi Ren because I was scared to listen to anything else because of how intensely it affected me. I felt either his other music wouldn’t live up or it would and it would destroy me. It took me 2 weeks before I could listen to it without crying and at that point I started slowly adding other songs each one as good as the one before it. I have just given in to the fact that Ren leaves me in a sobbing soggy pile of mush…it’s a beautiful torture…

Okay have to admit I don't think I've cried so much on one of your reactions. I totally understand and relate to your feeling and as much as u don't want to talk about mental heath you are good at it.

this hit me hard , i had to walk through hell , since i put down the drink and drugs i found me again the person i lost over 42 years ago im nearly 4 years the 18th of feb

Been going through it the last couple months, and it’s the first time the dark thoughts started talking loudly. Tellin me the same bullshit “they’re better off without you. You just screw everything up”. I’ve been getting help since. This song and your words are major man! You’re on point.

The best feeling I got when I got clean is when I realized my family trusted me again. I no longer had that feeling that I was being watched whenever I was at their houses and I never want to put my family or me in that position of uncomfortableness.

I’m glad you’re still here Ray. Thank you for sharing your experience

Oh man, Ray, buddy ❤️‍🩹 This was so hard to watch, but so great to see you being able to open up like that. It’s just amazing the effect music can have on us, and Ren’s music especially reaches people on a level that other music just doesn’t. So glad to see you doing so well now, having moved on from being in such a dark place. We’re all out here for you dude, just keep on keeping on

Very moving and powerful reaction. I am so glad you recognise Ren's creativity, talent and brilliance but one of the best things about Ren’s music is that it is encouraging other people to discuss their own mental health issues, which can only be a good thing. I have been watching Ren busking live for seven years and it is great that he is finally going global. Please continue on your Ren journey. It's an exciting ride!

This song brings me to tears every time but is so beautiful I keep coming back for more❤😢❤

You have been so courageous in your testimony here. I think this will be one of the most powerful and important reactions you will make. Thank you Ray, truly. I have also been in this night, and I stayed for my parents. The semicolon is a sign of solidarity and support for those with such thoughts, depression, and addiction. The idea to tattoo the mark on your body as a sign for others to recognize. "Project Semicolon explains that "a semicolon is used when an author could've chosen to end their sentence, but chose not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life".[1]" Wikipedia. Truly, thank you. This is his darkest and deepest, but also -to me- one of the most beautiful.

Preach. Brave words man, and MASSIVE respect for putting this out there. Love to you, love to you.

The live version is so impactful. Ren and Chinchilla are musical soulmates.

I've been waiting to see some reactions to this one. It's devastating. I need reactions to help me cope with this one

I'm glad that you are still around Ray. Keep staying strong and remember that the world is better with you in it. You are worthy, loved and appreciated 🖤

This one is hauntingly beautiful to me. So heartfelt and emotional. Ren lost a friend due to this who he is referring to at the end of the song. The message here is undeniable. And you did an excellent job describing God's blessings, timing and power! So glad you are here with us today to fulfill your purpose.

I'm so grateful that you are here brother. You have no idea how much your videos are helping. God bless you and yours. Stay strong brother.🙏🙏🙏#VIBEGANG

Man, you're beautiful brother. We all need men like you in this world!

Thank you for being here ❤️ big hug to you ❤️

Shit. It takes some special and ferocious bravery to say what you just did and *admit* how selfish it FEELS in hindsight. I travelled a similar road to you but it was a series of setbacks in my life which cut away at my safety net to only threads. My despair pushed me to the very brink. I walked out of my apartment one night and to a bridge between two islands in the depth of a snowy swedish winter.... I stood on the edge and just thought. Perhaps for hours? Alone in my thoughts I still have no clue how long I was there but I watched the entire world wind down to a standstill. Every molecule of my body became cold. BUT something broke through the darkness and it felt like a handwritten note pushed into my hand. It was a scrawled list of the names of everyone I'd forgotten in that moment or subconsciously blocked who would have been destroyed to their core by my selfish actions. After a *long* period of healing and recovery, i made contact with everyone on that list to remind them I existed and together they lifted me so far away from my loneliness and darkness, I don't even recognize that person anymore. Thank you for your very real and human response to one of our most special artists.

The last portion talking about the fight,is referring to his friend that decided to take his own life in the middle of the night jumped of off a bridge, the body was never found from my understanding. The song,Freckled angels, is dedicated to his friend, Ren has seriously been through some tuff s@#$

I love how many vulnerable, open conversations about mental health that Ren's music has sparked. Thank you, sir, for adding your own. People need to hear that you can come out the other side. ❤️ A semicolon is often used to symbolize a break in one's life (as it's used in a sentence), with a clear before and after. A suicide attempt, a brush with death, or similar trauma.

My sister died at 26, suspicious circumstances, on boxing day in 1996, cause of death, left open. OMG, yes this is how I felt❤

I’m sending you a huge hug. As someone who had a father that made attempts on his life and struggled a lot, I thank you for sharing your story.

I am a kiwi... I've never been an addict or had mental illness of any kind... I am not religious... we are worlds apart. But you are my brother. That's all we need. Thank you for your story.

When you said that Olaf you is still inside you! you broke me down! I cried like a baby,!

So true; the blessing comes. in different forms. So true!

Once again man, I've been waiting to watch this one with you. I almost can't first time watch any Ren without RayVibes

You the man Ray. J-Hill the Ghost

Man, thanks for opening up and sharing your story. Ren is healing all of us through healing himself through his music... It is being a beautiful thing to see how everyone that has been in a state of mental issues and struggle can resonate and relate so much with his songs, and the most beautiful thing yet is to see how we are all uniting and realising we have never been alone in this race of finding ourselves to fight back and decide to stay. As you really well explained, the whole point of this is forgetting who you were, to decide to be your real self without the adictions and issues and distractions, to find the light and the point of what is going on and fight for your life. And we only get there, when we are ready to overcome it. Stay strong all of you struggling right now, you are not alone 🥰🤗

Your explaination was indeed fire.

You give us so much of YOU in these reactions and I for one am grateful. Reach out if you need to; I got you.

Ren be on some other shit for real, he goes through it and expresses it unbelievably well 💪

It's such a sad song, but beautiful and haunting at the same time

Mister Ray I wanna thank you for being you...the real you true and honest that's definitely why your my favorite reactor brother...keep on keeping on stay you always...and this hidden talent Ren one of the greatest talents of my time I was born in 1970...#VibeGang

Not sure how I've never seen this before. But I just want to say thank you, Ray, for sharing your story. I'm a recovering addict too (since 2010) who was suicidal most of my life. My mental health is finally good. I haven't been suicidal in 4 years! Love you, Ray ❤

“Never forget where you are; the rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you.” Reflect on the past, Ray, but know we are here for your success in the future. We got you just as you got us. #vibefamily

Wow...speak your truth brother...

Ren, chinchilla, and you made me cry!

Thank you for sharing your difficult story and the perspective it gives you on this song. Great reaction to a great song by an outstanding artist. I’ve been listening to Ren for a few years, and I love seeing these reaction videos from a host of new fans. He’s finally getting the attention that his talent deserves.

Ren is an amazing soul as you are my friend,respect to you both ,to you and ya brother from another mother❤️

This is Hauntingly beautiful Gooseflesh everytime ❤️

Your words along with Ren's will save lives

For me whenever I have some negative thoughts I try to take a walk and leave the place I was staying cuz I know if I kept staying my thoughts would cut me so deep . That's why I don't make choices when I'm angry or depressed.

I'm currently working my through the ren playlist. I'm very late to the party. But you, my friend, are a fucking hero! Laugh, Cry, Share.. mate, YOU ARE WITHOUT DOUBT the most genuine, sincere reactor about town. And I'm putting it out there.. the best. 💯 Much ❤

I had to listen to you today again to remind me why I'm still here. Thank you Ray x

I see this happening in the reactions and comments of many of Ren's videos. This opening up of so many people is incredible to witness. I feel like I'm watching a new era begin.. wow ❤

I'm so glad you found the strength to stick around for your babies ❤ although I've never experienced what you have felt, this song reaches me too, it is so hauntingly beautiful. The live version is good too if you can stomach again 😔 sending love from UK xx

💙 thankyou for sharing yourself with us. I’ve been on a ren rabbit hole as you have and you sharing is part of the gift he is giving humanity.

Watching your reaction… yeah, the reaction like the song hits hard.. and they should. I’m impressed you allow yourself to be raw and real to explain something to those of us that don’t know, and let those of us that do know, hey, you aren’t alone, look at me! Keep being you, and always remember who that is.

Never met you, but i fuckin love u my dude. Been through similar struggles as you, lost 10 friends before my 10 year highschool reunion.......im glad we both made it out the other side

They may have deserved better than you were .... you gave them that!!! You may have put them through hell and they stayed... so did you!!! Not only did you stay Ray you help others see reasons to stay too!! The semi colon stands for my story isn't finished!! It's an amazing movement ♥️♥️♥️

Depression and anxiety have ruled my life since I was 5…. I am now 53 and it’s a never ending struggle. This is a song I listen to when I wake up in the middle of the night. Those of us who have been in this exact mindset…. That’s why it touches us so deeply. Beautiful and haunting song. He has such an amazing way of expressing exactly what those feelings are like… it’s so difficult to explain to others what it feels like. ;

I’ve been a Renegade since June, and I’ve watched so many great reactions… but HOW did I miss YOU? No clue, maybe the algorithm called in sick? So happy I found your channel. Your thoughtful, heartfelt and genuine commentary are so profound and so much fun too. I think you and Ren are on the same wavelength and I DIG that about you, man!❤❤❤❤❤

These type of videos are why I watch reactions to begin with, Im glad you pulled through brother thank you for Sharing and if you ever need anything my messages are always open 💜

Thank you for sharing your experience. I feel sure that someone out there is still with us because of it. I’m really glad you decided to stay 💛

Massive hug, stay you.

Going through that right now myself. Doing better each day!

Hey man, REALLY appreciate how open you were with us in this video with your experiences and emotions. You've got me tearing up in the office with you. It sounds like you've already come to a place of peace but I just want to say that I've really been enjoying your reactions to Ren's music and I'm so glad you're still here to share it with us. You have a great mix of analysis, emotion, enthusiasm and humor. I'm one of those that's been binging all the Ren reaction videos I can find and yours are some of my favorites, always excited to see a new one pop up in the feed. And for the record, I personally enjoy a longer reaction! Just in case you needed any more reason to feel the pain of this song, Ren lost 2 of his best friends to suicide. That last line was directed towards them.

Thank you Ray. Ren sent me on a search through all the reactors. Never heard him nor any of you "reactor" type people. I want to tell you how glad I am that you are still here. Being real. Your kids are so incredibly blessed to have you sir. And so many more. Thank you.

I did think this would get you Mate. Respect for your honesty...............For a different @Ren vibe check out "Power" and "What you want"

Bless you my friend you are worth so much more than a head stone ......it was a pleasure meeting you ...I'll never forget the conversation we had I told you things I've never spoke to my own family ....and you are such a big impact in this world to so many ...thank you Lord for saving my friend Ray Ray .. today's day I deticated to you my man .....we call this day Ray Ray's day much love to you forever and always player..

Thank you for your courage and your honesty. Sharing your pain pushes and challenges all of us who haven't experienced this to be more patient and empathetic towards anyone who is.

That ending thought 🙌🏽!! Never noticed that because I have been watching the live version! Great job! #RenAndChinchilla #RIPJOE

You reacted so genuinely, thanks for that. As a treat you should check out the live version of this song, Chinchilla and Ren create an even more beautiful emotional brickbat of a duet

I dont know you but i feel so proud you made it through.your honesty is refreshing

Im am so glad that you are still here, without you and your emotional videos I would feel like i am the only one going through some mental shit. If i never found you there would be a good chance I wouldnt be here today, Thank you

Just a grown ass man crying while watching another grown ass man crying over here 😭 I love your videos bro but this one? This a whole therapy session. How a man fathers and Watching a man work are the only 2 true ways to judge a man. You showed alot right here, love and respect for that for real. This is the first and only reaction video I've ever Playlisted

Wow. This one hits deep. Thank you for sharing your Ren journey.

Sending love to you man x thank u for sharing x means so much x been there myself, but I feel so blessed to have a different state of mind now x

"My kingdom turned to dust, I watched all my riches dust" we surround ourselves with a lot of things that makes us happy, but when that feeling comes around, all of these things that were meant to build ourselves up don't do a dam thing. Nothing seems to fill that hole we have inside "Have I lost the Midas Touch? ". Even the things we do to bring value to others have lost all meaning when we feel that down and doubt ourselves

Props to you for talking so openly about this. More people need to get it out there. The stigma surrounding struggling with mental health especially as men is causing so many issues.

Thank you for those words. You know which ones. I needed that today.

Thank you for your reaction and allowing yourself to be vulnerable. Goes to show how Ren's music touches everyone on different levels! ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Your story floored me and I do hope that 1) you’re doing better and 2) that Ren sees this reaction. Impactful.

Brother I feel your pain and thank you for sharing yours with us 👊 you make my day better when I see you’re videos you are 💯 real and we need more people like you in this world

That was the best shit I've heard u say... I'm a mess. #HOG God bless you 🙏 ❤️

U hit home right there u and ren both damn u

You are such a good man. Your vulnerability and honesty is something to be recognized!! Congratulations on your sobriety!

Absolutely blown away for your testimony my brotha, I beat myself up so bad the night I gave up on my addiction I had the exact same actualization in regards to my own kids and my family, you being here fucked up is always better at minimum than gone forever, as we know... It's always darkest before the dawn, you just need to find your back through faith in yourself and your God if you got one, but it starts and ends with YOU 💯 much love my boy keep the 🔥🔥🔥🔥 reactions coming. I'll be here VIBEGANG shit all day!!!

Feel everything you said in my soul. My two babies are my reason to keep fighting and the reason I'm still here. 🌺

you touched me so much . I feel you been there when you know that your !IDs pull you through in the darkest of times.

thank you for sharing your story. i’ve been there many times. but last time i really messed up and the ambulance got there just in time. coming up on 14 years 6/6. i love you channel and your reactions🙏🙏

That is the cruelty and tragedy of depression. It is too deep a hole to see anything but darkness. But extend your hand out, someone will hold you dear to them and show you the light you need.

I love this , so courageous man , I too fought my demons and 30 years ago I hit a bottom and cried out in desperation and these songs move me to my soul , I love your reactions and I feel you my brother

Thank you for sharing your story Ray

You were not selfish, in that moment you were lost...sometimes when the pain gets too much and you can't get a release any other way, you feel it's the only option....I'm so glad you made it through to this point. I hope nothing but the best for your future xx

💜 thank you for your words

My friend! I Cried like a baby for about 10 minutes during and after this video, because I have been there (and an still there) myself and it hit home so freakin hard with me. Thank you sir, for sharing yourself and your life with us. And tha k you to Ren and Chinchilla for creating the content that made this reaction possible. I love you 3 so much for this. As well as anyone else else who had a hand in bringing this reaction to me.

🔥🔥❤️🔥🔥 #ren

Wow I almost teared up.. god bless you and your family, you’re a real man, sir!!!