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Missing a sibling/step siblings wedding is not a big deal if accommodations can not be made/you aren't that close. I have a step sister and step brother, both got married and I didn't go. The only reason I was able to go to my older brother's wedding was because they made the effort to make sure my grandparents (who I am living with could come and we did on public transportationall together)
That's the thing, though, that a lot of people would view the name Ryder as "ridiculous". Maybe not as weird as a lot of the stupid crap people are coming up with these days, but still not mainstream. The foster parents do make a valid point. When considering baby names, parents need to remember that they're naming a whole human being, not just a cute tiny baby. Barring illness or accident, most of us spend the majority of our lives as an adult. Imagine what will happen when Pixie Sunshine or Ryfle Hunter apply for a job or college. Many folks could think it's a prank and toss the applications because of the ridiculous names. Parents need to consider whether the name is liable to bring teasing on the child because of what it rhymes with or what their initials spell. Does it have any potential nicknames? How does it sound with the family surname? Instead, parents get all focused on wanting the name to be unique and original, never considering that they're subjecting the kid to a lifetime (or at least until they turn 18) of constantly having to repeat themselves when stating their name, or having to spell it for others over and over. They're not the one who will be saddled with that burden, the kid is. They see celebrities naming their kids after colors, directions, fruit, and other equally ridiculous things, so they want to do it too instead of seeing the stupidity of it. There are places where children can only be named things from an approved list just so parents can't give them names like this.
2nd Story: Put the money into Trust funds for your children in a way that the money can't be touched by your husband ever. Also, if you plan to divorce, please make sure you are not in a state that treats inheritance as a martial asset that you must split with your husband.
Story 1: Not the jerk at all... and these foster parents just flat out suck. If the foster parents, especially the mom, really care about you, then they wouldn't ask this more then once. They are likely doing this for very selfish reasons, not because they are actually worried about your future. Whats wrong with the name 'Ryder'? Nothing! I'm guessing they never had kids of their own and never got to name someone and are trying to do that here. Story 2: OP is not a jerk here. That inheritance is no one else's business but the OP. The husband and his family need to back off here. I get the importance of helping family, but it sounds like the rest of the family aren't helping themselves or anyone else out here. I get that the one sister can't do as much with having Down's syndrome, but the rest of the siblings shouldn't just be given free housing at the OP's expense and inheritance. I think the idea of a divorce is a bit extreme... but i would keep it on the back burner in case more drama unfolds. Story 3: No way is the OP a jerk here, and if the parents are going to continue with both the silent treatment and guilt-tripping, i say leave them to their own devices, ignore them and don't talk to them either. I hate when parents come into their kids places and pull stuff like this. Your kids are adults and grown up, stop treating them like they are 10, and also stop acting like you're 10 yourself. Everything here is on the mom, not the OP. Story 4: No the jerk at all.... your wedding, your rules. Your mom and stepsister don't get to dictate that at all. It's one thing to be understanding and try and work around her schedule, but not like this. It's obvious the mom favors the stepsister, and i really can't see why... both as childs and as adults. I get that you want to have her included in things, but not make her the centre of the universe. With everything said here, i'm surprised the OP hasn't taken back the invites for both the mom and the stepsister.... especially the mom. Story 5: Nope, not the jerk in the least, and the OP is right.. the world doesn't revolve around the SIL or her kids. Eve sounds like a major queen here and i can see why the husband isnt very close with her. This party was meant for the OP's son, not Eve's kids. She pretty much hijacked this party. I'm surprised the OP didn't kick her out. I'm willing to bet that Eve didn't get told "No" much growing up, and i bet she doesn't tell her kids it much either. Story 6: What is it with parents favoring their stepkids here? I can see why the OP resents the mom and Kelly. I dont think the OP is jealous at all and not a "green-eyed monster". The mom is just flat out ignoring and neglecting the OP here. You can bet that the OP will limit or cut contact with the mom once she turns 18. Story 7: This is really dumb.... if its all on your property, the neighbours literally have zero say about it. If you've done everything legally, then what's the issue? The neighbour is just being an old bag.
1st story; the fact that the mother said the name Ryder sounded "Lewd" speaks volumes about the way she thinks about her kid. NOBODY should be having lewd or intimate thoughts while thinking about their child, or children in general
Story 2: op should talk with a lawyer before doing anything. Many women have this delusion that alimony is something that only concerns men and they themselves would never end up having to pay it, no, they will pay it in the same way as men do. Or if they have some money when they are married, for example they get inheritance, it somehow belongs only to them, no half of that belongs to their husband, same goes vice versa, if he gets inheritance, half of that belong to his wife. Only way it wouldn't, is if it was already tied in some kind of trust fund and only she could use that trust fund, this is literally main reason why people make those things, to protect their offspring. So yes, she need to talk with lawyer before touching that money and make a trust fund or something. And do that as soon as possible or her husband WILL get that money.
What you said is dead on, apart from the last part about her making a trust fund. That would be a problem. You can't just take the money and put it in a trust after the fact. The inheritance would have to be handed over packaged in a trust already making it solely hers. If it was just a cash payment, it could then be classed as a marital asset. Normally there are also rules around how long a trust must be set up before it is considered fully untouchable, (5-7 years) to specifically stop scenarios where money is just quickly ferretted away into a trust to benefit one party's interests over another. A compromise might be as follows. Buy a cupple of second hand static caravans for them to live in, with low rent reflecting the accommodation type. You can get some very nice vans on second hand market that will not blow the bank, it helps out the famaly, and also works as an investment, as the rent would pay for the vans over time. Giving them a house is out of the question, But charging a low but fair rent for the units without ground rent on top would make it affordable. They would need to pay for any utility used of course as well. The Husband then needs to make it clear to his sisters that this is a kindness, As his wife was not too keen on the idea. Make it very clear that if they balls it up, that's on them, And remind them not to look a gift horse in the mouth. If they do balls it up, they are evicted and the vans can then be rented out at full market rate to get a quicker return on the initial investment.
Story 1.....A birth certificate, ID, notary signed petition that costs about $25, and about $200 to file online ... And you can get a name change whenever you want(no criminal record) as an adult.....its an annoying process... But its not that hard to do....
If there’s a job that’s gonna be pedantic about someone’s name, then don’t take the job, OP’s foster parents are being ridiculous. In my opinion, I don’t think it has anything to do with the name. I think it’s just them trying to make OP forget his biological mother.
The whole “sophisticated” name thing really sounds like early signs of toxic behavior. Like they’re slowly working towards toxic tactics like manipulating, guilt tripping, lying, etc. for the purpose of control and holding him back. As someone who grew up with toxic people like that I know a lot about their subtle early signs. They don’t sound bad at first but trust me, that’s just the beginning and they will get worse until it’s too late to put your foot down.
The first story. The OP isn't the jerk and the foster parents should just sit down with the OP and actually explain why they dislike the name instead of coming up with a dumb excuse about the OP's future. I searched Ryder on google and I came up with a transporting company and a golf competition, so I still see no valid to have OP change their name.
Story #2: Why is this lady considering divorce? What the husband is suggesting is not okay, but it's not a deal breaker. If he was cheating on her or being abusive, then I'd understand, but just feeling entitled to your spouses inheritance isn't
