"Four" - Sleeping At Last (Lyric Video) 

COOL FACT: the first line "I'm turning out the lights, to remember how to see"... inspired him to have all the musicians memorize the music, and they recorded this song in complete darkness.

A line that hit me deep and hard is, “I’ve fallen in love with a ghost” to me, means this: we are imaginative, therefore dreamers; falling in love with a ghost is like creating expectations and beauty in someone that is not truly there. Or, creating the perfect companion that most definitely could not even exist. We cling to someone transparent, flickering in the shadows, too perfect to take into our possession. It’s honestly a very hard, and depressing truth for us/me to understand fully. Fellow fours, agree? Opinions?

As a four we often feel we are impossible to be understood. We don’t really want to be understood. But this makes me feel safe, like I belong, like someone gets it, like I’m not alone.

For those who dont get what the numbers are for, here's the list for each numbers info: One means the reformer Two means the helper Three means the achiever Four means the individualist Five means the investigator Six means the loyalist Seven means the enthusiast Eight means the challenger Nine means the peacemaker 😀😀😀

“What if we already are what we’ve been dying to become.” Man this hit me hard. I think of myself as not good enough most of the time, but what if I’m already there? Fellow fours?

Being a four is lonely, even if I have friends, I still wish there someone out there who could truly understand me.

*“This blurred photograph is proof”* Points to us feeling like we don’t have much of an identity, like we don’t quite know ourselves and we’re forever searching for our missing piece to fill a void that is easily widened by feeling like we’re not good enough and comparing ourselves to others...

All the comments are so depressing, but this song is pointing out the strengths of type Fours. How we search for and find beauty in things, the way we find deeper layers and meanings in life; we bring a perspective to this world that it needs. The world may not always notice you but that's because you are quietly making it better in your own way. Just a little positivity :)

Are there any fours here on the enneagram?? I am. Just laying here crying, haha...

My lovely type four, You are the exception to all the rules and perhaps even you cannot understand what is inside of your heart. You are pasionate, sensitive, significant and overly dramatic. You are a drama queen that a few people get to understand. You are a unique soul in search of meaning and significance in your life. You are pure emotion even though sometimes it is so hard to describe yourself. You still lose yourself and your sense of identity every now and then but that is totally OK. You push people you love away in order to see if they come back. Maybe deep down in your heart you think you deserve to be alone. The thing is, there will always be someone that keeps coming back because you are so worth it. You want real things and yet you are abstraction. You are art, you are poetry, metaphors and you are definitely a song worth singing. Sometimes you are the only reason you are in pain. You can isolate yourself from the others but deep down I know you just defend yourself behind those big walls of yours. You are so sensitive, my friend. You want someone to read you like an open book, and when you find that person you make sure that relationship is valued. You are deep and special, even loving person. It is time you get closer to the real you. Maybe listen to yourself more often, start understanding who you are and accept yourself with compasion. Find gratitude for both the joy and sorrow, find beauty in ordinary. This fear of not being known, of not knowing your significance has to stop. You are known for who you are and you are really amazing. Sincerely yours, type two friend

He could sing a menu to me and it’d still make me weep

“Maybe my heart needs to break to be sure” I symbolized someone giving themselves up and dying for others, I am crying

As a four, i feel identificated with most of the comments here. It's like having a lot of friends that feel exactly like you. This feels like a hug that says: youre not alone

me: balling my eyes out bc i’m a four and I finally feel like someone understands me the outback ad that played at the end of the video: *steak*

"I can't help but think that ordinary has swallowed the key" "Maybe my heart needs too break to be sure" "This blurry photograph is proof of I'm not sure but it seems like truth" "Determined to find authenticity" "What if we already are what we've been dying to become" These lyrics hit hard and brought me to tears

*“bodies fashioned out of dirt and dust. for a moment we get to be glorious”* this one stuck. it’s like every time you think you’ve found yourself, you get a high from it. you tell yourself that you found the person you’ve been desperately searching for this whole time, but maybe you’ve built it to make yourself feel better about who you are. you can never be quite sure, because before you can analyze it, everything blows away like dust on wind. it leaves you empty until you find “yourself” again.

Falling in love with a ghost means a lot to me. It means a lot of different things but mainly for us fours I think it shows how we have the romanticized idealized version of ourselves. A perfection, a uniqueness, a beauty, a certain thing we constantly try to achieve, but it’s not real. We fall in love with these concepts that can’t give us anything. We fall in love with the idea of being something that’s unattainable. We fall in love with a version of ourselves we either want to be or even think deep down we are. A version we feel nobody else can see. But It’s hard to come to terms with reality sometimes

INFP and Type 4 I feel like I’m constantly contradicting myself. Wanting attention but feeling ashamed when I get it. Living a life of achievements but feeling as though none of them matter. I want to let out my emotions but am afraid of being dramatic and over emotional. I hide my emotions until something sends them flooding out. I call myself names, say that I’m not good enough, blame everything on myself. I feel as though I have so much responsibility for my life that others mistakes are the results of my wrongdoing. It’s a daily cycle of keeping things to myself before letting them all out, then beating myself up for doing so. It’s hard. Really hard. Song didn’t make me cry, but made me think about myself and what an unhealthy mindset I’ve had for such a long time. Maybe if I stopped comparing myself to others and hating myself for not being the best, it could stop

“I’m stuck swimming in shadows down here” for me this means: I always feel as if nobody is like me, nobody understands me or really cares to. As if I am swimming alone amongst shadows (everyone else).

*what if we already are, who we've been dying to become?* What if we're already the person we needed and want the most? We're just blinded by the thoughts that loves comes from other person rather than love comes right within ourselves? That acceptance comes from us first. Belongingness starts with us first. And most importantly, happiness is us and the others are just part of the happiness but WE are the one who complete it.

as a four, yes i cried. and it was strange because the metaphors were mysterious, yet i understood them.

"maybe we already are who we've been dying to become, in a certain light I can plainly see, a reflection of magnificence hidden in you, maybe even in me" this lyric hit so close to home for me

When I was a young girl I struggled with synthesia... For those that don’t know, synthesia is the association of all things even though they may not be related. For example, the number 4 to me is associated with the color of a light brown and is like the sunrise after a night storm. 4 to my mind is also the number that has felt so much pain but doesn’t let it show. No one knows that I have this, but now you all know a piece of my mind. -a number 4

"flashlight in hand determined to find authenticity only poetry can try to describe" this hits home because i use poetry to describe my feelings when normal sentences can't

I cant even begin to explain how brilliant this song is. Each part of it is a thesis on a 4. I'm a 4w5 and this song is my soul.

As a four my days are filled with the person I idolize in my head. A me with no flaws, millions of talents that I can’t call my own yet, with people who adore me for being different. This song shows the inner loneliness that individualists struggle with when they divulge too much in their fantasy and less with real life.

I think I’m super emotionally drained already because I’m a 4 and I can’t really get emotional to this song right now

*maybe I'm hiding behind metaphor*

I’m Hiding behind a metaphor- I try to use my words to hide what I’m feeling with blunt responses because I feel no one understands me at all

I'm turning out the lights To remember how to see Until a renaissance takes place And resuscitates the color of paint and divinity As if God hid the building blocks Of every beautiful thing In this game of hide and seek I can't help but think that ordinary has swallowed the key Bodies fashioned out of dirt and dust For a moment we get to be glorious Ice sculptures adorned in light Sand castles built tall in between the tides Maybe I'm hiding behind metaphor Maybe my heart needs to break to be sure One day I'll wear it all on my sleeve The insignificant with the sacred unique But I've fallen in love with a ghost And I lost my balance when I needed it most This blurry photograph is proof Of what I'm not sure but it feels like truth I'm stuck swimming in shadows down here It's been forever since I came up for air Flashlight in hand determined to find Authenticity only poetry could even begin to try to describe Bodies fashioned out of dirt and dust For a moment we get to be glorious Get to be glorious Get to be glorious What if we already are Who we've been dying to become In certain light I can plainly see A reflection of magnificence Hidden in you Maybe even in me

How could someone be so Talented, he has the ability to Convey the feeling of Sadness, Happiness & Nostalgia all at once at the same time which hits you deep in the heart that you can't just help but cry, it feels like I'm being understood, the words I can't say, the heavy pain in my chest is being lifted & conveyed so effortlessly and beautifully through his Music...pls never stop creating such great Melody, listening to your music is one of the only thing that keeps me going in life

the visual of being in the ocean and seemingly like you're drowning but somehow your head is still above water is giving me so many emotions that i can't even explain. as a four, it's like choosing to be in the middle of the ocean and struggling trying to keep breathing but somehow it's fine because here no one will be able to judge you and you can freely be yourself. it's sad, but that's kind of how i feel. sending all my love to the fours out there. it sucks being stuck between being a 4 and a 2.

I find it difficult to fall asleep most nights and even though most of your songs sound sort of melancholic, they always help me fall asleep. it's comforting. thank you

There’s so many good lines in this song that struck me in the heart as a four. “I’m turning out the lights, to remember how to see.” - This is really sad to me and it’s hard to explain. Its like he’s telling people that in the light, everything he sees is just blinding him from seeing the truth. Like how love is blind. Meaning-for example-when one is in love they tend to not see all the red flags. “I’ve fallen in love with a ghost.” - This relates SOO SO much to me. I tend to get way into books sometimes that I set my standards for possible significant others so high. Because I’ve fallen in love with some image created in my head that I can’t physically grasp because it doesn’t exist. “As if god hid the building blocks of every beautiful thing.” - This one connects to the ghost one to me. Because I interpret this as if I were to have building blocks that could create whatever I wanted, I would never be able to create the perfection I crave. I would be stuck endlessly criticizing myself for not being able to do it even though I knew from the start it was never possible. All very sad but I can really see myself in these lyrics. I’m a self-absorbed perfectionist with high standards. Any fellow fours agree?

This Type 4 finally feels a bit more understood ❤️

“Flashlight in hand determined to find authenticity, only poetry could even begin to try to describe” This rlly hit home. (This entire song did) Us fours are trying to find something we know but can’t find. It’s like seeing something that doesn’t exist, yet. It’s a difficult feeling of reaching for something that you’re hoping that’ll be there but can’t grasp the knowledge of what it is you’re trying to reach for, but you have this nonexistent feeling/idea that it’s there. Something that’s true and real to you. It’s a philosophy of ones self identification. (Literally sounds like gibberish but trying my best to explain brain out lolll )

My whole life I've struggled with identity and who I'm meant to be, and how the heck to get there. I felt that I had to fake it till I make it, and I conformed to this idolized idea of what a "perfect" person looks like and became that without feeling like it was me. When I was a little girl I would take refuge hiding in my closet in the dark, I would squeeze my eyes shut so that the dark world around me was warm. I couldn't see anything which allowed me to focus only and fully on my thoughts and feelings and all things unseen. I always thought that was strange, and somehow another thing to be insecure about. From the first line, "I'm turning out the lights to remember how to see" I was crying from that point on. This song gives me courage to show myself, my faults and all. My emotions, my feelings, my insecurities and know that I am not alone.

as an infp and type 4 enneagram,this feels like my theme song

“I’ve fallen in love with a ghost” was probably my favorite line. It just is so accurate for me. I fell in love with someone over a year ago, and we became very good friends, and I told her how I felt but she ended up not feeling the same and we are still friends now, but I just can’t seem to get over her. It’s like every time I start to, my brain will resurface all the things I’ve imagined In a universe where she loves me back. And she’s literally never loved me, but it feels like she has to me because of how much I wish it would be true and make it true in my head. I don’t see her much as we don’t go to the same school anymore, so when I think of her, there are two versions: real her, and my ghost I’ve created of her that exists only to partially torture me and partially make me finally feel whole. And when I do see her, my brain can’t seem to understand why she isn’t the same person as my ghost.

*maybe my heart needs to break to be sure*

"I lost my balance when I needed it most" It's like your chemical balance is what im thinking.. You just start breaking down even though you don't want to you can't physically do anything about it.

i could only really appreciate this song after listening to the podcast about it. It was really moving and the little things you've hid inside are just golden.

As a four, I most certainly am a daydreamer. It's really sad knowing all these friends, versions of myself, and worlds in my imagination aren't real. Sometimes it will just hit me how this beautiful thing I've created in my mind never will be experienced by someone else and it hurts. It makes me feel lonely. Although, I think another reason I feel that way is because I never can find something that I immediately associate as me. I take pieces of many things but never something whole. I feel like I'm everything and nothing somehow at the same time. So sometimes it's hard to relate to people. Does that make sense?

Hello. I am a Four too. I am sitting here not sure if it even means anything to be talking to strangers on the internet, but I think we can all agree that this song is beautiful.

being a type four can feel like having your head through the sunset-painted clouds and your body in the depths of the ocean. too many ideas, too many dreams, too many thoughts and tangled words and blended colors and buried hopes. and no one understands the eternal overwhelming… _things_ that fester in your mind; it’s like a vast container of locked potential and chaos that refuses to open, sometimes. does that make any sense whatsoever? didn’t think so.

I honestly relate to this so much. I am a four, always have been. I think that the ending was something that we all need to hear. It touched me and I almost cried, like balling my eyes out. This is exactly what I needed to hear right now.

I grow up being interested in books and electronics while other kids were playing outside and hanging out I was inside writing small stories I post online because even my friends don't find it cool or interesting, I started to realize that I don't fit in with my classmate's interest finding friend. I was fourteen when I got to learn about Psychology and had been self-aware of my mental issues, the same time I got to the Zodiac signs because if I know people zodiacs maybe I could understand them more. but all my effort wasn't a match when even my own parent told me I lived in my own world. its hurts when I tried my best to understand people but they don't give even a second to understand me.

'I'm turning off the lights to remember how to see" as a four, i love staying in the dark as i don't have to focus on much but just enough. This song is a safe space.

I’m a 4, but I wasn’t left bawling. These past few years, the Lord has brought me home, where I’ve become more secure with who I am. I’m really good with being unique and misunderstood. I’m finally good with standing out. The glorious thing for us 4’s is, we are so hard to understand, and our Maker gets us! He grasps us, as every crashing wave seems to be beyond anyone’s grasp, He shows up and holds our hearts! Lose your balance, beloved, and come unraveled and undone...He’s got us.

“What if we already are what we are dying to become” this made me cry oh my gosh it hit hard

As a four i have gone through a lot in my sjort period of life (13), i feel i could never be understood, because i dont let people understand me. I need a new goal in life but j dont know where to turn. Everything in life gets boring over time and I try to strive for new things even though I feel more lost in darkness. I dont socialize much, i am misunderstood for the funny kid beut deep down it just fills in my pain. If you are a four please tell me what you feel. I belive the reason why our picture in the backround is the ocean is because we feel lost. Or troubled. I and possibly you might have a big goal but you dont know how to bring it out.

“what if we already are who we’re dying to become” gets me every single time. like not only does it make me think about whether i’m already the person i want to be and i refuse to see it, but am i literally killing myself? making myself more and more numb to the world, losing myself in the pits of my sadness and losing pieces of myself with every day that goes by where i don’t feel like enough? will i finally be content with myself once everything i am is gone and i am empty? what will that self-love be worth, then, if there is nothing left to who i am?

The line “what if we already are who we’ve been dying to become” hit me on such a deep level. My whole life I wanted to be this person in my head, that I created, a version of myself I felt like I could never fulfill. Until I heard those lines I realized that that person in my head is me, I am already who I’ve wanted to become.

I am a four and this song makes me feel understood. It helps me cope with the pain of literally everything. Forever grateful

What a beautiful mirror. Thank you for sharing your stunning artistry and mystical heart, Sleeping At Last.

This song hit me so hard. My whole life I’ve created ideals and expectations that are unattainable or nonexistent in the people I meet. I’ve always doubted my differences from others and assumed out of the two of us I was inferior. So no joke literally sobbing 😂

I didn't realize how many other people felt this way and reading the comments, idk brings some sort of comfort? Someone said being a 4 is lonely but from reading all the comments, it made me feel less lonely. That there are people who can understand what I'm feeling. To anyone reading this, you're not alone, you're feelings are valid, and we'll figure this out together ♥

His soft voice and the melody just makes you feel the presence of god’s love

I’ve listened to your music for a few months now, and have loved it. But now I really feel I can relate to your music. I found out today, a boy (14 years old) in my class took his own life and overdosed last night. I had talked to him a few times and he seemed nice but not the type I wanted to hangout with. It just boggles my mind that someone believes that they are better off dead. Now, he’s an angel and I hope whatever made him take his life has been resolved. I feel him smiling down. R.I.P Zach.

Does anyone else forget to keep growing, to keep searching? Does anyone else stop trying to get people to understand? Do we just stop? Because i feel like I'm floating most of the time, through life, and I'm not sure I even understand myself.

I don't know if there was ever any song which described me so well... gotta admit I'm in a bit of a crisis and some lines just... they just fit what's going on with me too closely, "this blurry photograph is proof of what I'm not sure, but it feels like truth", "flashlight in hand determined to find authenticity, only poetry could even begin to try to describe"... I'm gonna cry :') Sending love to every four and other type who read this: you're beautiful and amazing ❤

this is beautiful. as a four, i feel like this really captures us. the angst, the metaphors and even the aesthetic of the video. “what if we already are what we’ve been dying to become?” hit hard. I get so stuck in my head sometimes trying to be something else, like something’s missing. but nothing was ever missing❤️

I listen to this song every time I’m about to go swimming in the lake/ ocean. Then I go sing the song Two to myself while I’m warming up. So peaceful.

as a four, these are some lines that really affected me "ive fallen in love with a ghost" - I cant find comfort and understanding in real people, i read i try to escape i imagine things and i daydream of things and people that will never be real "bodies fashioned out of dirt and dust" -kinda connects to the ghost one, just the unreality of myself and wishing for someone that doesnt exist “Maybe my heart needs to break to be sure” -I feel everything, and strongly. i dont try to avoid things i know will hurt me, i want to cry and scream and smile i want to feel everything even though it becomes overwhelming sometimes. i dont know how to explain my emotions to others but i feel them constantly and try to figure out what it is. "maybe I'm hiding behind metaphor" -again with the emotions thing, i try to explain using metaphors and fancy words but it doesnt work “What if we already are what we’ve been dying to become.” -i have all these goals and dreams for myself that i think ill never achieve but maybe i will

9w1 here, and I'm crying. I feel like all these songs help me understand other people better. To be able to feel the pain, to deeply understand and connect. And also reconnect with the own emotions that have been burried so deep inside. Feeling blessed with this opportunity.

This song makes me think about how short my life is and all of our lives. We will all become dust one day which truly puts things into perspective. But while on this Earth I want to be the very best version of myself and keep striving to be greater than the person I already am, which makes me feel like it’s hard to stay present. Other times I’m stuck on an old version of me that I think is better, making it difficult to be content again. If you’re going through the same thing - know you are already enough and you’re already loved! God created you as you are for a special purpose and You are enough because He is within you. Something I have to constantly remind myself of. Less striving and more living.

Wow, reading these comments might just be the most understood I’ve ever felt in my entire life. Exact same as everyone here. Lonely, feeling like there is more to me that I have yet to discover, feeling like I’m not enough, idolizing other people, thinking that they have everything that I don’t, and being an actor, singer and an artist, makes it all even harder. Constantly not feeling like I’m going to ever amount to who I want to be. The line that gets me the most is what if you already are who you’ve been dying to become. I’m trying to wrap my head around myself being just enough and exactly who I want to be. All of the things I idolize in other singers and actors, I know that I have in myself. It might take some work to get rid of my self-doubt and bring it out, but I plan to do that. This song is so gorgeous. Fours most definitely see and feel things the deepest. We are the individuals and the artists. And so many people see artists and celebrities and people of certain acclaim and they think that they live such a glorious life, but they do not know what a struggle it is to do the work that we do and to feel the depth of emotion that it takes to create art. They have no idea. Hang in there fours!

i have never felt more understood by a song, every single one of the lyrics is perfect and hit so close to home. this makes me feel so comforted. it's kind of scary how accurate the lyrics are to how i feel about life. what a beautiful song.

The more I go through life and just experience and process things the more lyrics I seem to understand. It's just this slow journey of uncovering what each phrase means to me and relates to my life. I love that it's not a quick process but rather takes over a long period of time, slowly peeling away at the lyrics and piecing things together in my head.

I think this man can make us view the world in a different way.

Listening to the podcast from him on the four made me cry for days ... “ordinary has swallowed the key” he wanted to have a dual meaning for healthy and sort of unhealthy fours and I will say when I listened to this I thought yes ordinary stole from me And unpacking that has been really emotional I love the care he took for all of his enneagram songs This one is my favorite and speaks to me on so many levels I will always cry when I hear it “The insignificant with the sacred unique” “This blurry photograph is proof of what I’m not sure but it feels like truth”

The last lines are what gets me. It's so easy to see the good things about other people and so hard to see my own strengths. I'm fine throughout the whole song but can't help but cry on the last line

So I just started crying, in complete awe of the cacophony of sounds that just grabbed my soul. This is definitely a four song. Melancholic, nostalgic, quietly triumphant yet wispy and lost: directionless, like a shooting star.

"'I'm turning off the lights to remember how to see" for me this is my constant need to see myself from an outsider's perspective. Sometimes i worry my vision of myself and the world is so warped that i just need fresh eyes- someone to tell me the truth without worrying about how it might hurt me. The test isn't concrete of course but it helped me see myself from an objective view. After reading through the results i realised where exactly my faults were. As much as i'd like to change, though it has been.. difficult. Reading these comments makes me feel like someone else understands my struggles, though :)

I remember when I first heard this song for the first time & I was in tears because there was something that just resonated with me. I took the test and realised I am a type 4. This song feels like a love letter to every aspect of me if feels like no one else will ever see, and music that speaks to your heart and soul is generally rare. Not for Sleeping At Last, all of it is magic.

ahhhh this cinematography though. the seas foam, the texture, the ocean-motion... it's good.

My best friend is a four. And I'm being there for her as much as possible. ...I hope she sees that I'm trying.. :(

"I lost my balance when I needed it the most." these words hits me hard right in the chest

I've been feeling a deeper sense of loneliness and of being lost as of late... and I came back to this song, well cause I'm a 4 (and a 9). Just wanted to drop by to say thank you Ryan. Your music somehow speaks to me and makes sense of it all, as much as it can. So, thank you. Really.

This is so beautifully written with such clever words, but it made me feel very sleepy an sad. I actually wanted to drown in that sea.......

I'm a 4 and this song means the world to me, so beautiful! Im in love with this whole project 😍💕

Hey, this is my personality type!! Who else did the test after hearing one of his songs?

“I’ve fallen in love with a ghost” freaking hit me in the feels... I lost my boyfriend to suicide and I’m falling in love with him still...

“For a moment we get to be glorious” Love that line ❤️🎶

Any other type 4s constantly struggle between choosing the practical paths in life versus the paths that set their soul on fire...constant dreaming of what beauty there is in the world, but a little lost on how the fuck to find it. Restless and bored, but hyper focused when we finally find something that makes us feel alive.

“Maybe my heart needs to break to be sure”that hit deep

i love how the video is of the sea. I've always felt an affinity to the sea and I'm a no.4

there is no song in the world that have touched me like this one, it's just extraordinary and beautiful.

I’m crying right now. This was posted 2 days before my beloved dog Lucy drowned. She was always there for me. I had her for 10 years, and I loved her.

I nearly choked when he mentioned on the podcast that many fours said they played the uke and the clarinet. Those are literally my two instruments and I have never felt so exposed as a four. Welp. Had to come over here just to share this experience with you all.

Raining outside. 2AM. And this. Can't describe the feeling

For those who don't know, Ryan (the artist behind SAL) recorded a podcast episode for each song in the enneagram song series talking about the creation of each song, easter egg "finger print" sounds, featured artists, and his insights for the intentions of each song's messages (plural because there are intentionally multiple ways each song can be interpreted). I HIGHLY recommend you check em out. This series is such a perfect love letter to humanity in its myriad shapes and flavors.

As a 4, reading all these comments makes me feel understood, which makes me happy. I feel like nobody understands me nor do I have someone to talk to about this kind of stuff. To the artist: thank you for this beautiful song. ❤

"Body's fashioned out of dirt and dust, for a moment to be glorious." Think that means that we're made from nothing and we just want that fleeting moment of fame and self pride.....

I'm crying as I listen... Your music is magical...

Sobbing. “I lost my balance when I needed it most”. ‘God hid the building blocks’. I constantly feel this way. And wonder why everyone else seems to get the building blocks that I missed- or at least this is how it has felt in my adult life. This song writer is brilliant. I’ve cried through ALL of his songs as they’ve given me so much insight into my loved ones pain too. (Especially the 6,3,5)

The more I listen, the more understand.

"I've lost my balance when I needed it the most-" got me... I usually help people with everything, but I want it in return. I want to be loved like I love everyone...

*No tears left to cry*

I'm 6 but I feel connected to this song..