Four things after a late autism diagnosis that might happen. Join this channel to get access to perks: / @purpleella here is a link to all my stuff including: direct.me/purpleella -Ko-Fi - my tip jar - My merch - All my socials
I wish everyone would reject the notion that they are too old to enjoy anything that they use to do as a kid. I think it's damaging. My husband is 39 years old and he still enjoys collecting Pokemon cards and playing the Pokemon games. He doesn't care who knows. Ain't nothing wrong with it. I'm in my late thirties and still sleep with a care bear I have had since I was six years old.
People that come to my home discover that I have fidget toys. I set them out for their kids. I will go play at the park while kids are busy at school. I'm trying to embrace my fun, playful side and ignore what others think. It's not easy.
I was diagnosed with Asperger's when I was 33 years old and actually I do all four of the things you mentioned. It made me think a lot. On one hand, I'm a bit sad because of all the trouble it caused me when I was younger, I used to hate myself so much because I was different and didn't fit in, no matter how hard I tried, no matter how much energy I put into masking and pretending to be "normal". I'm alienated to my family and most people from my past, because I felt so missunderstood by them, felt so rejected all the time. My life could have been so much easier if someone just cared, if I just knew earlier what's the matter with me. On the other hand, it really helped me to embrace myself more. I don't need to pretend to be someone else. Some of my autistic traits I don't even see as weakness anymore, instead, some of my autistic traits make me even better at doing certain stuff.
I was diagnosed at 42, after unraveling my life I feel so much better and I try my hardest not to mask anymore. If people can’t take me for who I am I do not want them in my life.
I'm 33 and only 2 weeks ago a psychologist (I had many) told me that I may be autistic and this needs to be tested. I hope this is a new beginning for me and now I can have my dream life. At first I was angry that this has been noticed so late but 1. I'm from an ex-communist block country so we are behind in many areas of life 2. I had the opportunity to see that I can continuously develop my mind and perception for the better and also manage the everyday life so I feel strong thanks to this 3. I was much weaker at a younger age so a potential diagnosis could just make me fall apart and not see anything good in the situation. I'm trying to think that if it's going to turn out now that I'm autistic, then it's because I'm strong enough to know what to do with that knowledge. I wish you all the best 💜
50 and finally accepting myself for who I am. Wearing my Eddie Munson shirt and vans high top with a weird octopus on them. Bright red hair in a small town. Couldn't be happier I must say.
I'm 67 yrs old and have just come to this realization through self-diagnosis. Having completed at least 5 clinical tests each one was a definitive result...99% Autism. Yesiree. So now I'm in the research, relief and sadness stage of all the lost years and opportunities to learn about myself and most importantly, love my colorful and creative self. BTW, you spoke every word and thought that has come to me and out of me since last Thursday 1/18/24. Tears now come as I recall the moment I realized this was the new me...actually the "always me" just discovered. Thank you for being here. HEART.
Sort of a # 5 - you will discover your gifts. This is maybe part of re-discovering your passions... Those special interests you were discoraged from pursuing and developing were the gifts you were meant to share with the world and make it a better place! Its never too late to follow your dreams ! Thank you PE! When are we going to have an international "home comming" of late diagnosed aspies? :)
TBH I miss when I played with toys as a kid, I could create places in my head and have fun for hours....Then I grew up but I stopped playing with toys really late like teens.
Definitely resources out there - mainstream ones too - to help you rediscover play as a grown-up. Apparently (as if this was the absolute clincher lol) there are a number of cognitive and neurological benefits. If that hasn't dissuaded you, or if it has, maybe embrace contrariness and rebellion or investigate where the boundary that makes you feel weird is: creativity in lots of ways is only play. So is 'communing with nature' - or combining the two. Puppetry and so on.
@@kathybramley5609 I am trying to get into Dungeons and Dragons or Pathfinder, You get to use little Toys and dice and it is all based on make believe fun stuff! Just hard to find enough friends.
I haven’t gotten my diagnosis yet, I’ve reached out to set up an assessment. I think I’m both autistic & ADHD. I’ve been doing my researching, reading books and have never related to so much in my entire life, I’ve already had to start reframing my life because I’ve never felt so understood. The first few days after researching wasn’t great at all as I’m also recovering from burnout- my meltdowns were intense. I realised I may be autistic because my mask was becoming unbearable, and I continuously felt like I was searching for myself- that was my special interest. Using psychology, sociology and spirituality to look for who I truly was and fit in with society because I was always too "weird" or "quiet" or "intense" or "awkward" or "rude". I can’t bear masking anymore, it leaves me depends on those outside of me to determining who I am and how I should behave. I didn’t realise subconsciously I was searching for my autistic/ adhd self because I thought my mask was me. This video is really helpful because I felt like I had to wait to for an official diagnosis but a part of me so heavily wants to stop masking, and living a neurotypical life- it keeps leading to burnout and plenty meltdowns when I’m at home alone. I don’t know whether anyone experienced this whilst exploring whether they’re autistic or adhd- but I felt understood for like a week then upset because I realised I’ve just added another reason why I won’t fit in, especially with my family, I already disagree with my family and I need a lot of room to recover. My family is always upset I don’t visit more often but it’s because masking is draining, and I go mute when I experience sensory overload so I just stay home. My dad always complains about why I and my twin sister turned out so different, and why we always challenge them & their parenting. And now I may be adding autism & ADHD to the mix, I’m not looking forward to that conversation but I’m excited to go back to teenage self’s hobbies- like art and writing music. I’m going to be learning bass soon 😅
That's amazing! I think you will be able to connect to your family better, when you know yourself better and what drains you, and you can look after yourself better. So you are in a better place mentally when you are spending time with them, and not just pretending to be. I think the quality of that time will improve, because you're better able to enjoy it. I've been better able to unmask after I've told people. For my parents, that took a serious letter left on their dining table. I had mentioned my thoughts before, but always in a light conversation, and they hadn't taken it seriously. So I wrote a letter where I told them about my struggles and that I was taking this thing seriously. I mentioned traits about myself that they know me by since I was little, what I struggled with later, and what I'm doing now to try to improve things (seeking diagnosis for adhd or something similar). They took it really respectfully. I am as an adult, responsible for my own healthcare and studies. I think they are proud that I'm taking responsibility. So it may have been hard to hear at first that I had been struggling with this and questioning my normality, but it didn't impact our relationship. After all, it was all about traits I had had over a long period of time already and not surprising to them. I think in some ways my parents have become more accepting. They don't express frustration anymore when I can't do things that 'people do' like getting up early, or forgetting what I was asked to do a minute earlier. I don't know if they've done their research or just take it lighter now that I'm not like everyone else.
Hi we have the same experiences everthing you ßaid i been through at 52 i pushed for assesment in june 22 jan diagnoised jan 23 they asked y i wanted to know i said peace of mind finally goid luck just be you to those around explain your signs of anxiety hand flapping being too quiet how to help you out of situation dont say calm down or shout back if i suddenly disappear it over sensory if u think im being rude it part of autism i never be ashamed
5. No one will help you with it, because there's literally no behavioral therapists who want to help nuerodivergent people in my area. They literally gave me my diagnosis and were like, "f-off, we have no behavioralists available for adults". Not to mention I still mask hard-core and still get down when people judge me for being too intense.
Yes. We can be there for each other. It's not easy, we're all not perfect and it isn't therapy, but if WE stop being judgenental about others we can help kickstart the healing process for each other. Peace my fellow earthlings
While I do agree that aid and resources for autistic individuals are very limited, especially in certain areas, I disagree that there is absolutely no help. There just might be a ton of barriers to that help. That being said, there are indeed a ton more resources for children than there are for adults, especially us late-diagnosed ones. I'm glad for the kids, but it's incredibly disheartening. I will say I think it's a bit ironic that behavioral therapy is the help you mention when, if I understand/remember correctly, that treatment is teaching you _to_ mask. So I'd think it wouldn't be much help as it were. Then again, there isn't much other help offered that actually _would_ help-and if there is, it's not frequently discussed. To at least share: The one treatment recommendation I was given is sensory integration therapy, which I think will be utterly massive help. However, I'm not sure if it'll help one of the main things I have issues with, that being transitions. We'll see. Anyway, really, really hoping for the best for you in your journey and that you get the help you deserve.
Discovered I had ADHD and autism at the age of 54 when I was getting my teen diagnosed as well. This really hit home. The self-discovery I've been doing has been transformational. Even so, I'm only really myself around my kid. Masking for so many years, especially without knowing that's what it was, has taken a toll, but I don't really know how to not do it.
Thank you so much PE! Your words help to release so much tension from my body. I was diagnosed at 69 yo and I’m now 71. What a trip I’ve been on since then emerging from my dark hole.
Feeling proud and hopeful after this video. I’ve carried around my Winnie the Pooh stuffed animal around home for the past few years. Started to feel more comfortable taking a stuffed animal out with me about town. I feel much less social anxiety holding one…plus it doubles as a fidget toy during boring small talk.
What no one told me was the anger and grief for opportunities lost. But also the doubt. For me thats been the hardest part. The part of me that goes "it might be wrong, I was fine for ages"...forgetting of course that not being fine was what made me seek a diagnosis in the first place.
I really needed this right now. I was diagnosed last week after years of struggling and it has been an up and down week. Thank you, I've been watching your videos since the start of the year and I have learned so much.
Diagnosed with both at 25... 🧠 Learning to unmask and FEEL all the things I've been repressing; it does get better, and life starts making more sense once you find out. If you then spend the time to actually understand yourself and not only create coping strategies, but also reconnect, shame-free, with what brings you joy, it's like you're regaining your identity and humanity 🧍🏻♀️
Hi there, I’m brand new at knowing and could I ask how you.. I suppose felt or acted, trying to be your authentic and unmasked you, when being in front of people? Did people act differently? Did you feel uncomfortable? You said it gets better, so that’s nice to hear. But I still feel, like I’d be judged if I didn’t mask. Just thought I’d ask how your experience was since reading your comment. (Diagnosed at 22)
@@Kattnissandrue Hey there! Unmasking is a process, so I don't think it's possible to change overnight and suddenly embrace all the things you've been taught to repress over the years. What I do is I allow myself to do certain things which previously made me feel stupid or bad, but which I really needed: - I wear sunglasses even if it's objectively not that bright outside; people may think it's weird, but my eyes really do hurt and not getting a headache is more important to me than their opinion, - I wear big noise-cancelling headphones (same as construction workers do) when I'm out in the city or in public transport. It helps me enormously, and if someone comments on that... guess what, I can't hear them 😃 - I allow myself to stim if I need to. I try not to make it too distracting for others, but I will do my blinking or muscle-clenching tic, my body needs this to regulate and not store the tension within itself, - I use fidgets to focus and to avoid harmful compulsions (e.g. hair-pulling), - I allow myself not to keep eye contact. Previously I would keep eye contact, but calculating exactly for how long I should be looking at someone was rendering me exhausted before the conversation was over. Removing eye contact removed these calculations and made me feel less tired when interacting with people, - I recognize the thinking patterns of mine that are different than my peers', but I'm trying not to beat myself up over them. I might get too technical at work, digging into too much detail, but this makes me a great asset, too! My team knows that if they need a detailed answer as to why something is working the way it is, it's usually me who will know and can explain it. Most importantly, though, if doing something brings me joy, I try to do it without judgement. If it's not hurting me, others, or my finances, it's good enough for me to engage in. I hope you will find what works for you! Best of luck 🫂
I’m 48 and was diagnosed when I was 42 and after a lot of research and trying to untangle my life I feel that I’m pretty much there.good luck with your journey.
50 and starting the process for full diagnosis. I've stimmed all my life and it never occurred to me until recently that maybe I'm more than the weird artsy girl who was placed in gifted classes, social and outgoing but unable to maintain friendships or have a phone conversation. Thank you for this video, God bless.
Just diagnosed today as autisitc, I cried when I received my diagnosis, not because I'm ashamed but how I was raised, being told I was too much or to "shut up" , replaying all of those things. I wasn't too much, I wasn't too loud, I didn't talk too much (maybe I did) but I had meaningful things to say. It wasn't right for me to be yelled at as a child over those things. My boys are also autisitc and I don't want them to be brought up how I was and face so much anxiety having to adjust to everyone, to please everyone, to learn to be quiet.
I was diagnosed with ASD at the age of 42. I’m now 48 and it has taken me nearly 6 years to unravel my life and accept myself for who I truly am and now I feel much better in myself and can deal with life better than before.
I'm 51 and have just completed the RAADS-R test. I thought I'd be borderline, but I'm waaaaaaaaaay over the threshold. I finally reached out to ND friends after having a meltdown. I need an official diagnosis, but everyone's recognising those signs and symptoms. I am now reassessing my life and like you say, trying to work out who the hell I am. At the moment, I feel more broken than anything, even though that's not how I see my ND friends.
Thank you. I haven't got an official diagnosis yet (I don't have the thousands that it apparently takes, as up here in canada, mental health isn't covered by out medical system), but the full realization that, yes I am Autistic, late in life (I'm 48) is doing all of those things.
This has happened to me already but I haven't even got a diagnosis I just discovered myself during lockdown. No matter how much I try to grow up and find new interests I keep going back to the same ones because like u said in the video u realise its ur interest that makes u in the first place and not the habbits that u chose to try help u to grow up and fit in. My big thing was always pro wrestling but I thought I had to grow out of it because it did take over my life when it came to hobbies, TV, gaming and wanting it to be my profession. With it impacting my life that much I always felt like I have to change especially as I got older and wanting to start forming relationships. I can mask pretty well when it comes to friendships but relationships was a big step for me which caused depression and that drove me even further away and wanting to grow up and find more grown up interests. But now I'm not looking for anyone I've found my interest again but it feels weird like it'll never be the same because I know I'll never fit into any group of people. I feel too different from anyone and not in a I'm better way which everyone seems to take that way but in a idk how to be like everyone else type of way unless I'm standing back and observing what's right for the situation
i was about to research late autism diagnosis, how strange that this popped up. thank you! i was diagnosed in my early 30s (36 now) and often say to people i wonder how much easier / more successful my life would have been had i known about my condition. i am a successful woman with my own business of 10 years and a lot of athletic accomplishments. but my life was SUCH a struggle before i was diagnosed. if i had the support system in place (or even just the knowledge of my condition) from my teen years through to university / endless 9-5 job struggles, i would have felt so much more confident, happy and with more of a sense of belonging in the world.
I’m 68 and going private for a diagnosis. I know in my heart I’m on the spectrum, but I need it to be official,lest others say I’m making it up. If it’s official, so much healing can take place. Plus, with it being hereditary, as a large extended family, we can use the knowledge to improve our lives and understanding for generations to come.
I definitely did a lot of reframing when I figured out at the age of 47 that I had ADHD. I think the other 3 didn't hit me so hard because I'd spent big chunks of the previous decade in therapy figuring out what was right for me. The well-established relationship between me and my therapist was a super-useful support while I was doing all that reframing.
I think some of this may start when you have your lightbulb moment of “ Oh that’s why I’m like I am “ I’m still waiting for my assessment but when I first started watching this channel it was literally like someone cleaned the foggy window on my past life and I could see the real past me not the me everyone told me I was ..the too weird , too quiet , too moody , too odd too everything ! I’m now slowly starting to do stuff I enjoy and stopping doing stuff that upsets me.
An avalanche of memories are all being reassessed. However, I cannot help but feel like I am broken. A lot of things make sense now, but I wonder how my life would’ve been different if I had known earlier.
5 you are going to be completely heartbroken on several levels... that you suffered all those years not knowing. That you will never see extressions of affection in anothers face. That you isolated yourself for years and missed out on having a family. That you are likely incapable of maintaining a relationship as you cannot read people. 6. You may also notice the frequent times when you can see peoples faces change and realise that it is an expression that you dont recognise. And did i mention heartbroken....
I agree. Thanks for being nice about it. It's so good to see my favourite autie not being angry & aggressive but chatting in a friendly manner again! I had to stop watching your videos, because the constant haranguing 'from on high' was really alienating & got me down & depressed. The sneering reminded me of my own bad childhood experiences (though I can understand why you felt you needed to do them & gain some 'power'.) I hope you are feeling better & happier now, & your family too. Good luck & love.
I feel like a fraud yet the more I tell my husband about autistic traits the more he points out that I’ve done it since he’s known me which is 16 years I’m 30. It’s hard because I had a very traumatic childhood and cptsd result in similar attributes to autism. I remember really struggling with kids all the way back to kindergarten and it was about grade 1 after my dad left that the abused started to get really bad. My bio dad and brother both have autistic traits as well.
I remember in kindergarten I wanted so much to play with the other kids but I could not seem to communicate with them. My final report was “does not work and play with others” though I interacted little with them.
I’m only 21, but got ‘late’ life diagnosis at 20 for ADHD and now suspected autism but no professional diagnosis yet, and the rediscovering dormant passions is HUGE since I got my ADHD diagnosis a year and a half ago it has been nonstop of me rediscovering all of my old hobbies and passions & even getting to start ones I always wanted to as a kid but never did for whatever reason 🥲
