Fred Flumby "When I'm Cleaning Toilets" 1933.
Lyrics
Oh when I'm cleaning toilets
It's like it never ends
The stories I could tell you
About things stuck down U-Bends
So with my trusty toilet mop
My chisel and my bleach
I try to get the porcelain shiny
For the next bum on the seat, Oh
I've come across all sorts of things
Pairs of pants, and rusty springs
Oh, when, I'm, cleaning toilets
Oh I found, half a pound of Apples
And a gentleman's cravat
I even found a Violin
So what do you think of that?
A half pot of varnish and a
Table tennis bat
All, when, I'm, cleaning toilets
Oh when my head is round the bend
I find a nice surprise
Along with all the piss and turd,
Cigarette butts and dead flies
But once you get used to the smell
And accustomed to the taste
I've even grown to quite like having shit smeared round my face, oh
I know it comes from peoples bums but you
Wouldn't Believe just how much fun I have
When, I'm, Cleaning toilets
Oh I found an old nuns habit and I
Found a pair of Ski's
I even found the goalkeeper of a low ranked Scottish team
A well seasoned parsnip puree and a
Frozen home made quiche
I nearly caught a baby whale but it swam away from me
And that's not to mention all the
Heroin and crack
Once I fuckin loathed this job but now I keep on coming back
Oh I really love my job
I found and old used condom on a corn on the cobb
Oh I love, love, love, cleaning toilets
I found a pack of opal fruits
Some pornographic mags
A load of Human body parts all stuffed in a duffle bag
So when I clean my shitty rags,
You dirty bastards, fucking slags
The things, I, find, in the toilet
A copy of the bible which was all covered in someone's poo
A picture of an actress stuffed into an orthopaedic shoe
Sometimes I find such splendid things I don't know what to do, oh when
I am cleaning toilets
A piece of Battenberg cake
An old inspectors hat
A male TV presenter that was fondling a cat
But you know the best thing is always this,
Because I love the smell of piss, and
That's
Why
I
Love
Cleaning dirty filthy bloody scummy pissy shitty mucky grubby vomit filled fucking toilets
Thank you very much.
4 окт 2024
