Are you transgender, non-binary, gender-nonconforming, or butch and thinking about taking the Big Chop? Watch this video for advice about getting your first masculine haircut!
Oh man, I know that feeling when you're pre-T and hairdresser don't want to cut your hair the way you want because she thinks it would look too masculine and forces her vision on you.
This happened to me a few weeks ago, I had to go to a different hairdresser than normal and my old one had cut it 3 times (a trim, the big cut and a clean up) and she is great and did basically exactly what I asked her without question which was awesome but then she was booked so I ended up with a different person and really I should've known it was going bad because the first thing she said was "so are you trying to grow it out" and then I told her that I get a 1 on the sides because my hair grows so fast and she was like "A 1?!?! tHaTs BaSiCaLlY bAlD" then she continued to bot do anything I asked by cutting basically my entire head the same length and thinning it so much you could basically see through the top lol it's almost long enough to get it the way I like again but I hate it less at least lol
I had this exact situation yesterday (for the second time ) I look horrible (but I started accepting it now bc it looks kinda masc but not what I wanted at all)
holy fuck. ive never watched a video with this level of honesty. "being attractive mattered more to me than being trans" like looking into a mirror. its time to listen to myself. im not happy living like this
@@ivanetzamolina5147 she can be objectively beautiful, someone you'd admire, someone you even could wish you wanted to be, but if you on the inside can't find expression through that, it doesn't matter if she's pretty or not: it's fine for someone else. Like a gorgeous designer dress: you as a guy might go wow, I'd like to see that on so-and-so, but you might have no interest in wearing it yourself.
@@kaiwannagoback5712 that hits so hard 😭 all of it does! Its exactly what ive been thinking and going through these days and keep going through whenever i change up my look or dress extra nicely and look at pictures, to see the same sentiments in other ppl’s words is extremely validating
I know exactly how you feel. Thats how I felt before I started testosterone. It was so validating to be seen as a pretty girl until I realized I was just an image to myself. I'm on T now and I feel truly beautiful in the most rugged and authentic way. I believe in you!
I'm a transman who knew who i was at age 4-5, but spent the next 39 years trying to "fix" myself by dressing feminine, going to beauty school, going thru months of conversion therapy for my "lesbianism", getting married, having kids- i don't regret the journey, but i do wish i could have been born in this century instead. With my first male haircut, in 2009, I went from a being regarded as a middle-aged yet kinda sexy mom to being mistaken for my sons' oldest brother when had my my hip length, dyed chestnut-red hair clipped into a vintage 1958 buzz cut a la my dad's high-school senior yearbook photo. What follows is a hideously long, and complicated tale of betrayal, and resilience, with a snarky TL/DR at the end. I got a job in 2009, mostly to fund my transition, and kept my hair buzzed until well after the T kicked in. I'd enjoyed shaving for awhile until my peachfuzz thickened to a passable teenage-neckbeard to go with my still-funky voice, and then i stopped shaving, grew a beard, grew my hair out a bit longer, and kinda enjoyed looking like a younger version of my father. I fit in with the guys i worked with, and supported my family while my then-husband (whom i'd met 23 years before i came out in 2008) got & promptly lost a whole series of jobs, putting us in immanent danger of foreclosure/bankruptcy, which, by dint of working my @ss off, i somehow managed to forestall each time. Then came 2013. The family dog was killed by a speeding driver, my very close friend died after a horribly prolonged battle with sepsis after the chemo port for her pancreatic cancer got infected, my grandfather died (hating me), my step grandmother died, and then my step mother unexpectedly died- all in 6 months. My husband lost yet another job, i stepped in and kept us all afloat until he found another one which required him to get a little apartment in a town an hour north, He'd come home on the weekends if he wasn't working overtime. We adjusted. in April of 2014 my then-husband then claimed he'd been lying when he said he was ok with my transition, and insisted that i'd "bullied him into submission" (evidently my including him in my entire 2 year long decision-making process that resulted in me going to a counselor for yet another 6 months to get my T letter, as well as introducing him to the other transfolk i was meeting at a local support group, and giving him the opportunity to accompany me to all of my doctor's appointments is "bullying"- i thought i was being transparent- my bad) and that he "wasn't sexually attracted to [my] father" To which i replied, i wasn't at all attracted to his father either, nor him especially, and yet here we are- and then i pointed out how i'd asked him at every stage if he was ok with it, and since he'd evidently lied to my face at every stage, it just proves that i'm not psychic and he's a liar. He then pulled out this gem: "I've been talking to a bunch of people online too, and most of them keep saying i should just have you killed for the insurance money- some have even offered to do it for cheap, but i keep telling them no- that i still love you, and that you'll always be the mother of my children" Reader, my blood ran cold. All 29 years worth [at that point] of affection, and loyalty for this man died in that instant. What came out of my mouth was "That's mighty white of you." (We're both white) Then i went to the bedroom, locked the door, called my doctor, loudly made an appointment to get tested for STI's and he did not see me again until late October when he came home a day early and told me he was filing for divorce and he would have me served in our home, and if i wasn't home, our 17 yr old son could sign for them. I told him to keep our child out of it, and serve me at my job. He argued that he didn't want to "embarrass" me. I told him it wouldn't be an embarrassment at all- on the contrary- i wanted to share the moment with all of my supportive co-workers in whose various homes i'd been staying while he was in town. I lucked into my own apartment that week and was served the next week, i was extremely happy when the deputy announced himself, and offered to buy him a coffee and a muffin or bagel for his trouble. The deputy declined, but clearly thought the petitioner had overstated the degree of devastation i would feel. He even asked if there were another BobDeGuerre working there, and then if i was sure about that- "maybe he's new" he said. We got exactly half of the divorce completed, in that we could both file as "divorced" and he could no longer take out credit/run up bills in my name, but since his financial circumstances were now greatly reduced, he stated that he now planned to sue me for alimony and that i'd be notified of the second hearing. I responded to that threat by pulling out my last paystub and my checkbook, writing him a check for 20% of my gross, and handed it to him. "For child support" I told him. (20% is standard dunning for one child) Then i asked the judge if that was all. It was. I walked out and my lawyer followed, chuckling. I mailed that child support to him every month until our child turned 19, and then, since there was still no signed agreement in place, i stopped paying, cut all contact, and didn't see him again unless it was to trade cars for the kids. Then, in late April of 2016, on a Thursday morning, i awoke having suffered what everyone thought would be a devastating stroke. I did the dumb thing, struggled into my binder, got dressed, drove to work, my manager called an ambulance, yadda yadda yadda. i woke again that same evening to my ex-husband holding my hand and saying he'd take care of me. My entire right side had been affected. I was all but unable to speak, walk unassisted, or even brush my own hair. it took me almost 10 minutes to tell him that wouldn't be necessary, please leave. He did, and he contacted my father, whom i hadn't spoken to with much since his wife's funeral, and my father told me i was going be put in a rehab center to recover. I took about 15 minutes to explain that was Not going to happen- and that i'd be returning to work instead. He said we'll see. I was released that next afternoon after being able to successfully navigate the length of the hallway and a short staircase with use of a cane. I admit that i lied and said that there were 4 steps up to my apartment. Actually there were 2 flights of steep stairs- one of 14, and another of 15. My manager drove me home, i made it up all those stairs my co-workers rallied around me, bringing food, and checking on me. I drove myself to work to shop for myself that Sunday, and I was back to work with a gimped arm and leg, a cane, a very tippy walk, tremendous trouble speaking, and abysmal handwriting exactly 14 days later. I hadn't even used up all my paid time off. The fall of that year my ex-husband wrecked yet another car and so he came and got the truck he'd lent me while our youngest drove the car that my ex-husband had bought for me in 2012, (it was a stick so... ) My father called about a week later and asked what I was going to do to get back and forth to work. I explained that i had already bought a bicycle and a big umbrella. It was 1.3 miles one way, and I needed to lose some weight anyway. My father showed up the following week, driving a pickup, & told me he'd need to borrow it every once in awhile, but that there was no room in his garage to keep it. The following spring he signed it over to me. This blew me away; i assumed my real father was abducted by aliens shortly after my return to work, and either re-programmed or replaced by an alien that looks exactly like him. I’ve mostly healed from the stroke now. my handwriting is still abysmal. I wear my hair long again, and it's mostly white and kinda curly now- and i have a long full mostly white beard too. I look the part of a grandpa and in January of 2019, i got a text from my firstborn: "Mom- you're gonna be a grandpa!" My granddaughter was born that fall, and my niece a couple of months later. in Feb 2020 my youngest son told me much the same thing. My grandson was born fall of 2020. I have yet to meet or hold any of them bcz i work in a grocery store, and as such, i am exposed to COVID on a daily basis by careless maskers and unvaccinated people. I'm vaccinated, but the T lowers my immunity. I also have heart and kidney problems due in part to my past history of anorexia and all of the recent stress, which puts me at very high risk for COVID complications. So please immunize yourself, and encourage others to do so as well. I'd really like to meet my grandkids, and i just might live in your town. TL/DR: Hot red-haired MILF FtM gets head buzzed, deals with major BS, while morphing from neckbearded teen to Santa Claus w/ grandkids in under 14 years. Get vaxxed.
@@arthur_rockwell i felt it was important to share that folks can do everything "exactly right" and still lose absolutely everything that they depend upon and at the end of the day, they will still come out of it okay. I think what you're doing is so important because there really aren't a lot of older LGBTQ folk left to help guide the way for the up-and-comers. A lot of us died in the HIV/AIDS crisis of the 80's-90's, and many more of us welded that closet door shut, &/or drank/drugged ourselves (often to death) among the worldwide tidal wave of extremist-based LGBTQ-phobias that followed, and persisted, and still persist to this day. Myself, I lost 60+ LGBTQ friends/ co-workers/ acquaintances to AIDS &/or alcoholism &/or overdose &/or su*c*de &/or m*rder between 1984-1999, and that's just from one gay bar in a one rural town. After surviving that genocide-in-all-but-name, I cannot convey the absolute terror I felt once I put a name to all of the self-loathing I'd struggled with for 40 years, in part because so much of that internalized LGBTQ-phobia was mirrored in my everyday experience. I had almost decided to end it all rather than bring that "shame" down on my loved ones. I'm still not certain where I found the courage to persevere. However, I have come to realize that even my very best days pre-transition were H*ll on earth compared to my worst days post-transition. I'm fortunate to live in a state where my identity is respected by law, and my civil rights are protected by law, but so many other LGBTQ folks aren't that lucky. But this is slowly becoming the world we had hoped for back before HIV/AIDS became THE primary narrative of the LGBTQ experience. There are still many "elderly" allies out in the world, some whom you'd never expect, and many more who only come out of the closet in the privacy of the voting booth, but we are SO proud of you all. I'll get down off the soapbox... you've got this, kiddo.
@@starprince5098 that was the highlight reel (lol) but yeah- you can lose absolutely everything, but as long as you believe in yourself, you'll be okay.
That was such a ride! I usually don't read long posts but I'm glad I did. I just turned 19 and was feeling very stuck because there is absolutely no way that my parents would accept me. Since I can't move to university (seemingly a very accepting place) so I'm just stuck in a very bad place metaphorically and physically. It always makes me very happy to see older trans men 'make it' and be content. So really, thank you so much for sharing your story!
So I went to a hairdresser and got a feminine short haircut. I ended up being so frustrated that I buzzed my hair into a 9mm buzzcut at home. Currently growing it out to get some hair on top of my head, don't regret the buzzcut tho
I gave myself a buzzcut when i got sick of styling my hair, and i bleached and dyed it. Im not at my hottest with a buzzcut, but that experience was fun. The downside is that the short hairs are itchy on the pillow. 😂
@@arthur_rockwell hey I’m trans and I’m scared of cutting my hair but my grandma said she could take me for a haircut tomorrow and I’m happy. I really want short hair and i might get it cut! I’ll update if I get it cut!
"if you are looking through hundreds of youtube videos right now trying to find some sort of reason for why you should cut your hair -- maybe you should Just Do It" me: 🤡ah,,,,,,,
@@pepsimann2038 my hair is so straight that when i went to the hairdresser the guy said "you will look like scarlett johansson if you go this short w/o a perm" so i ended up bringing in a photo of mick jagger hahahah. anyway, now i have dope quasi-mullet-thing which i think suits me better anyway. i told them i was trans over the phone which was really useful even though i was shitting myself.
i'm 13 and i've never cut my hair even once. it's past my hips. it's blond but grows more brown on top and was really curly when i was young but has now grown out to be a bit more wavy in most places. most adults in my life don't know this, but i'm agender and i think i'd feel so much better with short hair. since it's so long and such an odd texture and colour, a lot people associate it with me and praise me for it so it's kind of a part of my identity. i'm so scared to cut it because i know my parents will be mad and i tie it to my identity so much. i feel like i won't be unique or interesting without it. i feel like i'll be ugly. i don't feel like any other parts of my body are cool. i can't imagine myself in the future with short hair, because ill never look like a man or a woman and i really dont want to anyways. i've never seen someone like me as an adult. i feel like without youth or long hair ill be ugly. but my hair feels like such a weight and like a free card to forever being seen as a girl. i don't know what to do.
i guess what i mean is i'm afraid to go from long blond hair to short brown really curly hair. i dont really know how curly or dark it'll be too. and i cant just grow it back the same because it grows brown and not blond. idk.
Hey Rowan! I can definitely relate to that feeling of putting a lot of pressure/weight on having blonde hair and how it ties in with your identity. I bet you'll look great with short hair! There are agender people, women, and men who all look awesome with short hair. But I can get how it's hard to imagine yourself with short hair when you've never seen it before. It is a leap of faith! But luckily hair does grow out. And as for your worries about it growing out brown and not blonde -- you might want to look into "Sun In". It's a spray that slowly bleaches your hair blonde in the sun and can cause brown hair to grow in blonde.
@@arthur_rockwell thank you so much. i've decided that i'm too worried about what standards cis people have for me, so i'm just going to do want i want to do :)
Hi!! My name is Heather. I have a 11 year old daughter who is wanting me to cut her hair short. She has a lot of friends who are transgender and I am wondering about her also, might wanting that as well for herself. I am very supportive of whatever her choice may be. I am so glad we were looking for ways of learning to cut her hair and came across you!! You are a breath of fresh air!! I am worried though she is still too young to tell what she wants yet. I just want her to be happy. I am very supportive of her no matter what. I am worried though my support my be more confusing. That's what my husband and friends say. I am very interested in learning how to deal. But I think your great keep up the good work!!!
The best thing you can do is to allow her to explore her identity. I don't know you, but most kids will explore who they are. Maybe not their gender, but am I a sporty person, what kind of clothes do I like, am I outgoing or introvert, do I imagine myself to have children or not when I grow up, what does it mean to have the nationality or ethnicity I have ect. While it is not the same as gender, then by allowing her to explore the different ways she can be, she gets a healthy, sound understanding of who she is. And you don't "risk" that she becomes a trans person or gay by allowing her to explore that. If she is, she is, and will be no matter what. You just make that exploring easier and not painful by supporting her. My son loved to wear dresses and necklaces when he was little, and to stomp around in my high heels. When people questioned it, I said: "I think it is better that he explores it now when he can do so easily and without much attention. If I restricted it, he never gets to explore it, and get it over with. If he still wanted to explore it as an adult, it would be more difficult for him to do". That is not all my own opinion, which is that everyone should stop having an opinion on other people's genders and gender expression. But it did make even the most conservative people agree, that it was ok to have little boys in dresses (because it was better than, G*db forbid it, >sarcasm< have an adult man in a dress).
Hi Heather! Sorry for my slow reply! As I think I mentioned in this video, I got my first short haircut when I was around 11 and I have so many fond memories about that experience and how supportive my parents were. I don't know about your daughter, but I was certainly too young at 11 to know what I wanted for the rest of my life with regards to my gender identity. All I knew was that I wanted my hair short! Kids bounce around on different identity labels all the time (as Saga was saying). And, while I doubt this would be the case, I think the only way your support would be confusing is if you were rushing her to chose a label or pushing her too much to explain why she currently identifies one way or the other. For example, if she signed up to act in the school play and you told her "Do you want to be a theatre kid now? Will you act in high school? Should we think about what college acting programs you should apply to?" that would be confusing for her, just as saying "You identify as ___ LGBT identity ___ now? Should we go to this group? Should we throw out all your old clothes? Should we put you on hormones? Will you always identify this way?" But on the other hand, if your daughter asked you to drive her to theatre rehearsal and you helped support her passion or asked you to cut her hair or buy more masculine clothing, fulfilling these (non-permanent, healthy) requests would support her and she learns what makes her happy! I suspect based on the phrasing your comment you won't have many issues here :). Asides from the normal parenting problems that come with a teenager. I know despite being supportive, my parents got a lot crankiness from me when I hit my teenage years haha.
If you are supportive of her experimenting with her hair and clothing, her interests and outlets, without restrictions or negative judgements, you're doing the best thing you can do as a parent, for her sake. The people who fear she's being influenced could probably relax if they got some information on that, but the TL;DR on that is, if outside social influence could change anyone's gender identity or sexual orientation, there would be no gay or trans people, because they were exposed to the same cis/hetero expectations and norms as everyone else.
Okay first off, this man is FINE. Secondly, i've had long hair for the last 10 years as it is what people would always compliment and i was scared people would suddenly think i was unattractive if i cut it. However, i came out as non-binary a few days ago and really want to cut my hair to express myself. Thank you for making this video and helping me out :)
Oh man i got so many pixie cuts before i got my actual haircut!! So frustrating. I was so firm about it and they never did it right until I went to a barber and i was like yes! you got it!
I'm transmasc nonbinary (edit: now a trans man lol) and I'm finally getting my hair cut tomorrow. I got my hair cut super short about a year ago and I *hated* it. It was one of those short feminine cuts and it really didn't suit me. I was still nonbinary at the time I got it, but I was more feminine-leaning when now I'm much more masculine-leaning (I may be ftm but I'm not sure yet), so I want to get a short haircut again since my hair is a little past my shoulders now. I'm very nervous considering how I reacted to short hair in the past, but I'm hoping they'll trust me and give me the masculine haircut I want. I found this video to be super helpful in guiding me on what I should say and your timeline was super interesting too! I'll be sure to keep your tips in mind when I am there. I'm hoping that even if it doesn't turn out the way I want, I'll still be happy that I at least have short hair. Update: I got it and it turned out really well!! I feel a lot more masculine :D
The first 30 seconds of this video is so cute!! When I was 17 I felt like I HAD to cut my hair and then right after, had the first "oh... So *this* is what I'm supposed to look like"
i felt like people would always see me as this long curly haired girl, but I finally got my parents to let me cut my hair (my mom wasn't too excited about it) and now (tho I'm not out and am still seen as a girl by family and most people) i feel a lot more andro and less fem which I love. and I still have my curls which is a big part of my identity. so to anyone whos questioning if they should cut their hair, DO IT. if you don't like it, hair grows back. and you'll never know if you'll like it unless you try
Buzzed my head (no guard) at age 16 and never went back to long hair, but for the next decade I struggled with salons giving me mom-ish pixie cuts when I tried to get it andro/masc cuts. Finally admitted I was trans about a year ago, found a queer-friendly barber shop, and have been getting great haircuts ever since. Not having someone try to talk me out of a fade or try to sneak in "feminine" styling is a huge relief, and they even finish with a straight razor shave of the nape of my neck. Places with a hipster vibe are more likely to be cool with transmasc clients IMO, and once I learned how clipper guard lengths translate to hair it got a lot easier to request haircuts I'm happy with.
I got my first short haircut last September. Went to a different city where no one knew me (except for my then partner and her aunt who live there), went to a hairdresser who I knew had both male and female clients, and asked for a men's haircut; short on the sides, somewhat longer on top. It felt so scary, but it was also such a huge relief. I felt incredible. And I actually looked awesome, too! I had never felt so much like myself when looking at myself in the mirror. A few weeks later, I went back to my old hairdresser in my hometown. I didn't even have to specify what exactly I wanted, I just get "the same cut but make it short again" every time now. I don't think it's an overstatement to say that that haircut changed my life. I feel so much more confident in myself, I pass occasionally, and I honestly think I look just so much better. It's incredible what kind of difference a simple haircut can make.
I'm a transmasc, pre-T. I have soft features and a roundish face. I've wanted to get my hair cut for about a year now but my parents tell me that I'd look like an idiot because short hair doesn't suit round faces. I hope that everyone else does what they want to and I wish good luck on their journey's!
Hey, I also have a round face and everybody told me that cutting my (really long, thick curly hair) would be the worsr decision ever. And then my gf braided my hair for me and the cut the braids off and then shaved my whole head. And you know what? It was great. I have never felt happier. I was very worried about being perceived as ugly and now that I have transitioned from buzzcut to a undercut I feel like I have found my hairstyle. Were there phases where it didn't look as good as I wanted it to? Yes, sure. But I have never ever felt as uncomfortable as I did most of the time with my long hair. I really hope you have cut your hair. Even if you don't like it! It's just hair, it will grow back and so many ppl will congratulate you for doing something "drastic" they would have been too afraid to do. So many people want to cut their hair and never do it because they are too scared. Don't be one of them
OMG Thanks for wording so many emotions I've gone through the last half year! I'm a 45 year old divorced mom with kids. Years of long blonde hair, being the beauty ideal to men. Then growing out a side shave led to wanting to go all short. Several expensive 'soft pixie' cuts from a hairdresser that wanted keep it feminine every time, I finally found the barbershop. The whole process definitely has led to discovering my identity. Non-binary and wanting to look andro. So happy you live in a better era and discover this at a much younger age!
Aw this is such a sweet comment! I am so so grateful to have grown up in this generation. I absolutely know I didn't have it in me to be a "trailblazer" if I'd been born in a different decade... Fantastic that you've been able to discover your identity and what makes you happy!
I cut my hair recently, it was shoulder length and now it's a basic man's cut. I showed a photo I wanted to the hairdresser and she honestly did an amazing job. I was thinking of getting my hair chopped for about 1 month and I was worrying if the new haircut wouldn't fit me well. I came to decision to cut my hair short because I'd always tie my hair in a ponytail and didn't really like how I looked in the mirror. Now whenever I see myself in the mirror, I smile. Especially on the 1st day I got it, I couldn't stop smiling and my cheeks were sore. When my parents saw my cut (my sister took me to the salon) they were disappointed, especially my mom, she almost cried. But when I went to school the next morning, I got so many compliments and people said that the haircut fit really well. My advice is to find a salon with younger hairstylists and show them a picture of the haircut so they know exactly what you want. Don't be afraid of changes and what other people say to you, it's your body and your decision, the hair grows back. Keep experimenting!
I watched this video the two days ago while deciding on how short I was going to get my hair. I was shocked by how emotional I felt once the video ended. It took me ages to get my hair short, because of stylists not wanting to cut it more masc. I eventually went to a barbershop that cut my hair short, but I never went too much because I wasn't out at all. Those feelings I had after watching your video bubbled up and I came out to a bunch of coworkers, who were all supportive. I was out to some of my closest friends, but work and home were where I drew the line. I watched more of your videos and it gave me the courage to do something I haven't been able to do in two years. I came out the my grandmother and the person who I was most afraid of telling. She raised me and being her 'only granddaughter' was a big point. She accepted me immediately and though it's still early, she is doing the best she can. Your videos and your story gave me that final little shove I needed and I don't know if you'll see this, but you made a huge impact in my life. Thank you Arthur, truly.
I do see comments!! Even on older videos. And hearing these stories always makes my day. I'm so happy you had the courage to come out and that the people in your life have been supportive. I'm sure there will be more joy to come!
This whole video literally made me realize I may be fully trans (I currently identify/I identified as genderfluid), but most importantly, that I am letting the stigma make a big decition on how I present my gender Even when drawing myself I tell myself "You should look more femenine" or "You would never pass if you looked masculine" From watching this video I feel a lot more confident Thank you, a lot.
I'm 13 and i got my first masc haircut about 2 weeks ago. I had hair down to my mid-back and always had longer hair. I had been dealing with some horrible gender dysphoria prior to that and just asked my mom if I could get my hair cut short. We initially cut it to my shoulders then went to a salon later to get it shorter. It turned out amazing and I feel so much more confident. The person who cut my hair did an amazing job and its just insane going from barely being able to look in a mirror to actually liking how I look. Get the haircut, hair is the most fixable thing so screw it. I'm agender btw so that's fun :)
I always wanted to cut my hair real short but my mum was always really mean and adamant about keeping it long. But during this quarantine, I said fuck it and gave myself a haircut. I began by cutting it short but feminine but soon began to grow bolder and more masculine. Now it's a comfortable anime mullet, not exactly perfect but it works. I'm pre-everything and never dreamed of passing until I did, it's not a miracle worker but the right kind of haircut (doesn't have to be very short) and clothes (caps can help too) could do a lot! I re-realized my love for cutting hair after seeing a satisfying amount of hair that's left behind after a cut. I still cut my hair and now trim up my father's too. So if anyone is looking for another reason to just cut your hair -- maybe you'll realize you actually really enjoy doing it! (do your research though. I have been cutting my hair (albeit secretly) since I was in the fifth grade for about 8-9 years on and off)
the way i described my feminine faze in first year university was "giving being a girl a good ol' college try" and and realizing it wasn't for me. judging from the comments, i wasn't aware this was such a common experience for us to have.
Getting my hair cut vanished my doubts about being trans. It was one of the best days of my life. Also painting on a beard with mascara was the final tell that it was what was right for me. I didn't think I'd like it but I loved it and I cried and it changed my life. Just do it omg grab some mascara and put it on your face it'll change your life.
After a year of pestering my parents, I’ve finally cut all of my hair off. It’s still a little longer than I would’ve wanted, but it feels amazing. Thanks for the tips!
Getting mine tomorrow and I’m scared I might walk out of the salon looking like a car crash lol, hopefully my nice hairstylist will understand 😅 I’ll probably update if anyone wants to know how it goes
@@arthur_rockwell thank you ☺️ I’m pretty happy with it! It was kind of scary though haha so I didn’t go too short, but at least I’m one step closer to finally feeling myself :D
i’m getting my haircut tomorrow, as i’m questioning rather or not i’m ftm(i think i am more then not??) and i’m really nervous,, i have a picture of the haircut i want and my mom said it was okay and stuff, but i’m afraid the stylist will mess up or it won’t fit my face shape or something like that 🙌🙌
@@acegvts The haircut was amazing and i’m really happy abt it :) as of now i identity as a male and i have a good group of friends who support me, ty for asking
1:54 Yeah I can relate my hair was always in those styles and I would always always have matlocks in the back of my hair without brushing it for days on end but now since my hair is short it's easier to handle
I used your tips and they worked marvelously! I finally have hair I'm satisfied with after cutting it almost the exact same way since 2018 and never getting it right! I had a lot of pushback from my mother, and the rest of my family of course hates it, but I don't care. I'm happy.
I'm a 14 year old FTM trans boy and I've had short hair for about a year now Now I've been a masculine person just about my whole life. When I was about 8 years old I started to dress in boys clothes and only tie my hair back into a ponytail to make it look like I had less hair. I have straight, flat ginger hair and i refused to do anything to it. I always called myself a tomboy and hated any display of femininity on my person (wanted to die every time I wore a dress). I actually came out to my homies as trans when I was 10 but repressed it because of being brainwashed by alt right internet stuff. I realised I was bisexual when I was about 9 and then a lesbian when I was 11. I called myself a butch lesbian from ages 11-13 and had this very large identity based on being a masc girl. I decided to finally get my hair cut during quarentine. I knew nothing about mens hair and went in and got a flat bieber side part with an undercut and it looked awful. I did happen to really enjoy being gendered masculinely and I was very happy that way. I started going by she/they pronouns and I could already feel as if the pipeline was beginning. I came out as nonbinary to my friends and used she/they pronouns. Fast forward to new years and I came out as nonbinary to my friends, changed my name to Andy and started using exclusively They/Them pronouns. During this time, I grew my hair out for around 3 months and my hair became super fluffy and nice and I really enjoyed having cute fluffy hair. It gave me *gender euphoria* but it was super flat and hard to manage. I got a haircut once again and this time it was the word haircut of my whole life. Way too short and I still had no idea how to style it. My hair was dry and crispy and it gave me the worst dysphoria and I was just dying for it to grow back. During passover, my hair finally had gained some fluff again but it was still painfully bad looking. One faithful day, I found a small travel can of hair mousse. I took a shower, applied the mousse, and then I did it. Fluffy hair that stuck and felt soft again. I also used some leave in conditioner and these products gave my the best euphoria. I used a curling brush to give me a small wave to my hair and it worked. I came out as nonbinary/transmasc to my family in may of this year and on my birthday I got a curling iron and salt spray and my hair hasn't looked bad since pretty since. I finally accepted the fact that I was a boy in late June of this year and i came out as FTM and Bi to my family and I've been very happy since. My hair and the euphoria it gave me helped me realise my identity. Also do not cut your hair without knowing how to style it. Sonny's original hair paste is a great product to start with if you dont wanna fry your hair. TL;DR Cutting my hair made me realize I was trans. Go fluffy hair trans boys!!
These are some great tips. I was very lucky with my first haircut/hairdresser at a unisex salon and it came out well, but I had to insist it was what I wanted (I think I may also have said specifically that I wanted it to be "like a men's haircut" or something). But the hairdresser was amazed at how certain I was about cutting off my hair (which I could just about sit on at the time) and after the initial cut to a bob length she was like hey this looks good 😂 had to really insist that I didn't want a bob lol. But as I was leaving I could immediately tell it had the desired effect because the receptionist seemed a little confused about my gender having seen the change haha. I passed virtually 100% after that (pre-everything medically at the time) as long as I was careful in my presentation. What a difference a haircut can make! The beautiful thing is like you said, hair is just hair and you can experiment freely yet it can tell you a lot about yourself, and the feeling of being seen as a guy, thanks entirely to my haircut, made me even more certain that I'm a trans man
i ended up buying clippers because i didn't trust hairdressers here to cut my hair in a masculine way. cutting my hair on my own has been pretty fun and meditative. also cleanup is not as hard as you'd think it would be!
I cut my hair short in November 2020 and everything you've said is great advice and took me many months to get right. I started with a shkrt bob, then a more feminine undercut sort of thing, then a pixie, and finally I've gotten a more classically masc look and it feels great. It took forever to learn how to properly ask for it though. Wish I had seen your vid
I finally realized I was right, I’m non-binary, but I also… like my face for once, now that I shaved my head. It’s actually really nice looking. I also realized that I love being called handsome and “stud muffin” 😢 ❤️
i havent even finished watching this video yet but it already feels like looking in a mirror. im 14 and I've known im trans since i was around 4 (at first i thought i was a masculine girl, then i found out about being trans and felt like it fit me but i denied it) and it's so hard to accept it, at least for me. also i really felt the "i felt like i either had to choose between being trans and ugly or being cis and hot" because that's what ive been feeling for a few years now, and im trying to overcome it but it's taking a long time. the last time i had short hair i was still in denial but it also felt so right(?) and people gendering me as male made me so happy so im trying to convince my mom to get me to cut my hair again (though im a bit scared about what my classmates will think since i just started 9th grade[?, i think that's what it's called in English]).
Thank you for this video, I'm still can't cut my hair right now but I want to be prepared for when I do, your explanations and descriptions on what to say were very helpful
Man, I discovered your channel recently as I'm way overthinking and worrying about socially transitioning. But I remember watching this video about 8 months ago and it finally giving me the confidence to cut my hair at 18 after graduating high school. I was pretty sure I was trans in middle school and came out to a few people but then decided to keep it on the back burner until I grew up because I thought thinking about it too much would convince me I was trans even if I wasn't. Well, I'm not fully grown up at 19, but I just made my first appointment at my school's counseling center for HRT. To make a short story long, cutting my hair was so terrifying up until the moment I did it. I got a god-awful cut from my mom's old stylist akin to my grandmother's but I loved it anyway. I loved looking in the mirror and looking good and looking like me. I'm so glad I found this video 8 months ago and made that giant leap of faith. It gave me so much clarity.
Awww thank you for coming back and leaving this comment! It really means so much to me to hear from people who have been impacted like this by my videos. Congrats on taking the leap and good luck at your HRT appointment!
omg... Thank you so so so so so much for this video! I think I'm going to cut my hair now. I am questioning my gender, and have been contemplating a masculine cut for about a year now, and I think this video motivated me to do it
11:40 Ya I asked for a haircut that was a basic long on the top short on the sides thing and she literally said “no you don’t want that” and gave me an ear-length pixie cut
this is such a sweet video! ive been socially transitioned for almost 5 years now and i finally have the opportunity to go on testosterone, but now im thinking about changing up my hair and wanted some advice on doing it right (because ive also in contrast been thinking about growing it out). this wouldve been a great guide to have back when i was 13!
I never had a short haircut before, but I really want to do it bc I want to know how it feels. It might help me understand if I am really trans. I needed this encouragement! Thank you
The first time I got a men's haircut I just did it myself at home with random scissors... It looked sloppy in the back but in time I learned to do it better and got better tools. I never went back to a salon since.
2 года назад
The first time I cut my hair like that I was a teen, so all comments from the people around me affected me a lot, specially in the context of latin america, where machismo is so strong, even my teachers bullied me for looking like a boy, since then I tried to keep my hair long so I wouldnt be noticed ever again, until two weeks ago that I felt strong enough to do it again, I feel so much better with short hair, more like myself. Though I dont really know if I’m trans, I think I identify with being non-binary and with a lot of what you and other trans folk share, so thanks for the safe space, even if it’s only on the internet.
I went to this one hair place owned by this really old school chinese man and showed him a picture of the hair I wanted and he asked if I wanted a men's haircut in a whisper so my parents couldn't hear 😭 Literally the best experience ever and the best haircut (it was out of town so I can't go there again)
When I cut my hair for the first time, the women who cut my hair did it in a feminine way too. I felt so sad because she didn’t wanted to cut my hair in a masculine way.
I've been growing out my hair since september of 2019 and sometimes I miss having short hair and how it made me feel. Now that i've been questioning my gender (and realizing that i might actually be non binary), everytime I come across a trans masculine person online with short hair I feel the urge to chop it all off, but the process of growing it out to a decent lenght has been AWKWARD, I don't know if I wanna go through that again in case I regret it. Also, there's the fact that I'm pretty much a bisexual mess and I never truly know if I wanna look like those transmasc people (including you) or if I wanna kiss them (also including you. respectfully, of course), it's very confusing. Guess I'll just wait for another "if you've been considering cutting off your hair, this is a sign!"
Aw yes this is definitely relatable! I remember I would binge videos on people growing out short hair cuts before I chopped mine off because I wanted to feel confident I *could* grow it back out successfully if I changed my mind. Hopefully you find a haircut that works for you and makes you happy 😁
I feel you, i have been through the same process. Now i want to cut my hair short again. But if i regret cutting it short, i don't know if i can deal with the weird growing out phase again.
The first three seconds of the "if you're thinking of cutting your hair, do it!" Can't agree more already. I had really long hair before I started to slowly socially transition, Down to my back and wild curls. I wasn't sure, but when I got it cut (it's now in an overgrown mullet but I still like it) it was honestly the best decision of my life. Experiment with your hair! It grows back if you don't like it, promise.
This video helped me so much with cutting my hair. I’m 12 and I wasn’t aloud to get short hair so I did it myself and I’m glad I did because it looks absolutely stunning. The encouragement in this video was so helpful, and I am so thankful I saw this video, because I was about to chicken out. I regret nothing :)
@@ascotter I did it myself at home, but you can walk (or drive if your old enough) to a barber and pay for a haircut if it’s easier for your type of hair :D
Those are great tips! I've been having so many bad trips to the stylist:( im going to take your tips and honestly go to a different stylist haha thanks!🥰
thank you for teaching me about the numbers. i never understand and i’m planning on getting my hair cut short soon (i’m genderfluid). my boyfriend is very supportive as well.
Yes! So I got the haircut I describe towards the end of the video (3 on the sides, longer on top, hard part, and blended from the side to the top) like 2-3 months before this video and my hair had grown out in the meantime. So you could do this as well, but I might imagine you wouldn't want to wait 2-3 months to get the haircut you really want 😆. I think maybe asking for a 5 on the sides or a scissor cut would be a good way to approach this. You could also bring a screenshot of this video and then make it clear to the hairdresser you want a masculine cut!
the way you explained forcing yourself into an extreme manifestation on conventipnal female beautybor the standards of others was the first time it was said in exactly a way that resounded so loudly with me
Thank you, 1 year ago I wanted to cut my hair of but I didn't no for sure. Then I just did it and I didn't like how the hairdresser had cut my hair but I was happy that it was finally short. I was worried about opinions but most of the people didn't even care. I stil don't love my haircut but I love it way more than when it was long. By watching this video 1 year after I had cut my hair short made me realise that you did realy help in making this disicion and I am so happy that I did it ❤😃 thank you again
Omg this was actually so helpful. When I first got my hair cut short I would show pictures and it NEVER looked good on me. I'll try taking these tips and see if I can get something better? Although I'm terrified to cut my hair again in case it looks really bad like it did last time..
At the beginning I was expecting a short "this is a sign to cut your hair" that I'd forget in 2sec but omg I sencirely won't forget it I rly needed that omfg
I've been cutting / shaving my hair myself for a couple years because my old hair dresser is just not it. Recently went to try again on a whim, after some encouragement from my mom and my god, I got so lucky. Walked into the hair salon and was greeted by this friendly butch lady and she was so understanding with my horrible explanation. I showed her a picture and she even went out of her way to find a picture herself and explain another hairstyle that might help look more masculine. I'm pretty happy with the cut she gave me, but I am so coming back to try out the other cut next month. I guess the message here is, don't give up. One shitty hairdresser isn't every hairdresser. There's good beans out there and it's about finding someone that gets you and will work well with you. I've also always wanted to go to a barber shop and just straight up tell them I'm trans and that I want a masculine cut, so this has re-confirmed that they'll likely be able to help there.
Thank you so much for this! It helps me alot (I don't usually comment on videos but) my appointment for my first short haircut is on the 1st of June. Finally, I'm doing this since I'm finishing school I'm so excited but super super scared. Thank you for this information :)
Wanting a buzzcut is such a mood. I'm absolutely sure that I have a weirdly shaped head but I don't care lmao, I'll never be happy until I try a complete buzz. This is a great video, I appreciate the info and examples. 😄
Me fantasizing a scenario where I come out, my family is fully supportive of me and my dad takes me to his barber and helps me figure out a good masculine haircut even though I know it will never happen 💔
Arthur, yes an amab nonbinary (also previously binary transwoman) wanted to see the tips, i had long hair from the late 70s (elementary school) to a few years ago. Long as in at least one person did a huh when behind me. I asked my hairdresser for an androgynous pixie cut recently. Of course she wanted to be sure because it was so long. Was amused she was the one who suggested shorter at the next visit. Given her wording wonder if she thought i was ftm.
i am trans FTM and i have been going on and off from cutting my hair for almost a year, that little part at the start is what made me say f it, im getting my hair cut in a few weeks, thank you for the tips and for that little part, it was so helpful
A year ago I went to a hair dresser with hair that went down to my hips and told her I wanted it all off. I had been wanting to cut it short for years but my family kept saying i shouldn’t and it was also difficult with my job. The hairdresser argued for about 15 minutes with me, trying to negotiate leaving it longer but i refused. I ended up with a beautiful short cut, not as manly as i had hoped but still 100 times better than the long hair. It’s bern a year now and i will hopefully be cutting it short again soon.
First time i cut my hair I felt like my ears grew 2 inches. I thought I will get used to it. But i never did. Nor did all people I knew. I was getting this kind of advice: some men look really masculine even long hair. I got the hints and finally had my ears pinned . Never regretted it. That one thing that i never thought was a challenge for men!
Just cut my hair really short finally abbvccbx I'm having mixed feelings because it's such a big change but I'm pretty sure I'll love it No more long hair everywhere I'm scared people will judge me or think I'm lesbian though :') Don't look like a man at all
Aww I remember watching this almost a year ago…. I cut my hair cut in June 2021 and I’m loving it!! This helped a lot because when I first cut it it was really girly and long still but now I actually pass!! 😃
I cut my hair last night and I’m glad I did it. I hated having long hair and I only kept it for my mom. I feel like my gender is more affirmed now. After 20 long years of looking feminine, I finally look masculine. I’m so happy
When I first got a short hair cut, the hair dresser was like ‘oh don’t worry I’ll make sure it still nice and feminine’ and on the inside I was just going noooo please don’t. (I was an awkward 13 yr old and didn’t have the guts to say anything) but it was ok cus people kept saying ‘u look like a boy’ (probably meant as an insult) and just kept accidentally complimenting me 😂 I do now have a hair cut that I actually like.
The part about growing the hair out dyeing it blond made so much sense to me I’d rather be pretty and fit in so people like me and date me than be an “ugly” trans person
