Fellas, is it really that hard to only see one person at a time? Do you really need to collect bodies like infinity stones? She wasn't upset for what she did, she was upset she got caught. She might be truthful in her feelings, however, it still is a huge red flag. Is it truly that hard to just... only see one person at a time?
As a person she hasn’t lost her value, as a woman she did. Imagine telling this story to their kids if they ever reunite, imagine how many bodies she has in total. Imagine how deep that hole is, she lost her value because of her actions and Im pretty sure no man would ever wonna date a woman with such a background
@@Morality739From the way this is written out it doesn't seem like their relationship was very well defined. She saw it one way and he saw it the other way, this is the problem with not clearly defining your relationship at the start. Honestly, she should have been truthful once asked, but I get that she was trying to protect the relationship. The two of them just need to sit down talk and clearly work through things, because this seems more like misunderstanding between the two than cheating.
He should’ve left from “she considered us a couple when we moved in together “ after they’d been together for 2 years by that point. Meanwhile she was getting railed strangers. She obviously doesn’t respect him.
Yeah, when she had no problem sleeping with other guys when they were dating but only stopped when she decided she loved him and not when they officially started the relationship
Bro had 0 experience in dating, so it was easy for him to mistaken what she wanted, but the fact that OP's GF definitely knew that and still slept with others while she was seeing OP was stupid as hell. They moved in together and when OP saw her spreadsheet with all the dudes she slept with (as the story said, DAILY, sometimes more than once a day) is even more disgusting. Then she tried to guilt trip him by crying and according to her "she loves him" but if she DID love him, she wouldnt have made him wait to even get a kiss when she was out getting railed by others. I can totally understand OP when he said he felt unattractive and undesirable, cause anyone would feel that way in a situation like this. She doesnt deserve a second chance, OP should just leave for his own sake, thst woman is just a pile of damaged goods who views a sexual relationship/hookup (or whatever else) as something more than a commited relationship.
I mean in all fairness we didn’t experience the relationship and how each person grew along the way, so best option is for OP to decide if the rest of the relationship is worth working through what he’s learned. We can’t really judge
“i DiDnT mEaN tO hUrT yOu” = Shit. I did not PLAN on GETTING CAUGHT. I never intended on FACING basic consequences. I thought I was better at hiding things FROM you while also lying to benefit MYSELF. She basically only apologized for not being a better deceiver and does a terrible job at sugar-coating. You can’t sugarcoat a turd but you CAN use tears to melt the resolve of an easy mark
This is weirdly how some women think. The "relationship guy", the one they're considering for the long-term, they don't take to bed early because they want the intimacy to mean something and have all the true "love making" emotional enhancements beyond "just sex". (And yes, early intimacy CAN derail that emotional bonding of a building relationship.) The guys they consider "just for fun", and have no interest in doing anything but sleeping with, those guys get the sex early and often--and often more wild and kinky than the "relationship guy" ever even knows is an option with her. And these women honestly have no concept of how insulting it is to the "relationship guy" to be treated that way until it's spelled out for them like OP had to do.
@@JB-bb4su yeah, you can't have your cake and eat it too. If you want a good guy to date, you can't go on fooling around. To me it looks like she has BPD. And yeah, she will cheat again.
That just show the biggest problem in modern time, Communication. “she considered us a couple when we moved in together “ They both had different realities they lived in. This showed me that they never talked about important issues, which is why they never argued with each other. The most important thing in a relationship is clear communication, not vague assumptions.
@@ReaperChaxali think after 2 entire years of dating, its very clear they are a couple. Shes clearly making up her own reality and trying to use it as an excuse.
Bro a couple parts had my chest in a knot, stomach swirling n shit feels revolting. That feeling is what keeps us faithful as a species. Never let it go
Yeah, he's got a serious lot of BS to process. He's got to avoid being a simp, but wants to give her a chance BC of his feelings. He doesn't really have the experience to deal with this but as a good guy he wants to. This story churned me up too & I've seen plenty of life in 58yrs. It's not often I can't see right thru a story or situation. This one I just feel sorry for the guy, whatever he decides. He's taking on a high risk Rescue. Stupid or not part of me wants him to.
It’s definitely not an easy situation but I don’t think there’s many men who can comeback from that especially once he had admitted to himself that he can’t look at her the same way again. Long term you will probably be more at peace by just walking away.
He should’ve left from “she considered us a couple when we moved in together “ after they’d been together for 2 years by that point. Meanwhile she was getting railed strangers. What else did he need to hear, she obviously doesn’t respect him.
Maybe she only saw him as a friend until the kiss? But it’s smart of her to not cut everything else off just from a kiss. That’s what makes it hard for people to move on. When you put everything into a relationship early on and it doesn’t work. It’s good to have options until it’s more clear that y’all are gonna start dating
SHES LYING, YOURE COOKED, she said she considered them a couple when they moved in together but later said she knew she loved him after that kiss and cut everything else out so what were they for those two years???💀
You can think you love someone and find out you’re terribly wrong. I’m sure she was just making sure she wasn’t just looking at him through rose tinted glasses. Which is valid asf
@notthatguy.937 She can be truthful, but that doesn't make her correct. That whole she didn't cheat thing is all from her fucked up perspective of how their relationship worked. She has no concern for his boundaries. Also, if you consider the beginning of relationship to be when you move in together, then there is something seriously wrong with you.
She did cheat and he found out that after 1 year of dating the names on her calendar finally stopped showing up but when they started dating she was cheating on him
Sounds disgusting. This modern dating culture is not good for anyone. Especially at 4:40 i can feel the pain. We should be more conservative with whom we sleep with and when.
@@My_Secret_ArtSketchbook Definetly.Its too easy for woman to have male sexual partners. So much so that they dont think about how potential partners would feel about that.
Notice he said her sleeping around calendar slowed down but didn’t completely stop. Also if it didn’t matter to her, why even keep the calendar like a dumbass unless she hoped it hop back on it? Lastly this whole thing on Americans over extended “talking periods” is so stupid and leads to shit like this: I love how she also made it as if love was passive: she slowed down sleeping around when she finally felt butterflies for him. Love is active and if you’re going to entertain some for 2 years, obviously you’d be expected to soley be on them…
My mother told me this small sentence but it sticks with me “if you gave a lover a chance and they cheat then they’ve have their chance, if you don’t move on they come clinging back and you will too.” Once someone breaks your trust it can’t be fixed
Time to leave her she cheated on you regardless how can anyone live a life with that person again without resentment Keep going with this girl and it will never go anywhere and will further through your life into turmoil
you take her back and the dude she kept inviting over your house is still going to crush it. She’ll just be way more lowkey about it to not get caught again
I normally wouldn't say this, but i personally think this is salvageable, i think he should give her one chance with a serious and long conversation and lay down some very hard ground rules, for instance that guy isnt allowed to come over anymore she isnt allowed to speak with him or see him anymore, and any other rupes he wishes to set, i believe what she did is horrible but its not completely unforgivable, although i would make it clear if she does anything suspicious from here on out the relationship is over she is getting blocked and nothing will continue between them and i would suggest sticking to it once said.
I actually agree with you... Although I don't think she's been clear about whether or not she slept with him after. I admit that I'm friends with some of my ex's and their partners. Others have cut me off as their relationship evolved. Heck, I've even had female friends cut me off. It seems a really mixed bag.. But back to my main point... I hope that they can be happy and I hope whatever they come to works for them... But the fact she lied is not in her favour.
You will never trust her, she brought an affair to there home and lied to his face. She knew what she did. Do you understand how disrespectful that is. She met other guys before there date, on the same day, fucked them and met him. He feels disgusted by her and how should he trust her again ? She is destroyed her relationship because she was nothing more than a dumb whore, that's why she is crying because she get caught. It's unforgivable and over
What makes him think it’s a document of people he’s been intimate with anyway? I have a calendar like that and I just write the names on it if people I’m hanging out with, sometimes it’s a date, sometimes it’s friends, sometimes it’s my brother or my dad and obviously not everyone I’ve been on a date with I’ve been intimate with so it just seems like a big leap to make that assumption about what the spreadsheet is for when all the information he has of it are dates and names Also he’s kinda weird for calling her his girlfriend before they were official like bro that’s not cheating you weren’t together if you want to be official talk about it don’t just assume you’re on the same page
Because she admitted that is what she did with the relevant portion of that. Realizing that his co-worker's name appeared on there, and that is what they did together, is what led him to suspect as such. After he confronted her and pushed, she gave in.
They were pretty official if they can talk hours on end weekly, heck maybe even daily at times. Also, saying your not a couple after wanting a relationship going into the romantic direction (that was said before they moved in) is crazy in my opinion.
She didn’t cheat. Cheating is willfully braking the trust of a committed relationship. That never happened. There was miscommunication about when they became exclusive, but once she believed their relationship was exclusive, she was committed to it. Since then she’s been loyal and faithful. The problem with cheating is that once the cheater has broken the trust they can’t be trusted ever again. But, she’s never broken the trust. The issue here is that he assumed she was more prudish than she was. Possibly because she really liked him and wanted to be careful, so she took it slow. Now, they’re having vanilla sex because he didn’t want to pressure her, and she thought this is what he liked. What they need is to do a lot of communicating, maybe with the help of a therapist.
me imagining myself in his pov, then imagining what he said about getting railed by other men, makes me feel like i would love her, but feel extremely hurt. and the fact she didn't realize that doing that would hurt him in a emotional way makes me feel like she isn't the smartest, or was impulsive. there are alot of things women do that they think men do. like when GIRLS OVERTHINK WHAT MEN SAY. when men say something, they mean that, but girls when they something theres usually a hidden meaning.
I feel like neither are at fault here. Op from the beginning just assumed they were dating because as he said he was new to relationships. To me it sounded mostly like hangouts as friends and like she said she didn’t consider them a couple till they moved in together. Clearly she isn’t the best with relationships either, and slept around to feel that validation sometimes that’s all you want from a person and clearly she didn’t want this with Op she took it slow with him and waited before she did anything and when she did consider them a couple she had stopped because she finally felt the love she desired. I see how this could be deal breaking to op but at the same time he never confirmed what they were and expected the same one and done treatment as these other guys both of them need to talk it out i hope they get through this
Confirmation?? He wasn't a hook up though, he was dating her, that's enough Confirmation not whore yourself around. I get it if you going on dates just to see you feel that spark with someone before going to second base
@@jennymora3329 No i meant like he said in the beginning it he thought it was a date but never asked and neither of them called it a date. There’s a difference between dating to find the spark and hanging out and finding it that way
@@-ZeroTea- but he did say that at one point he did ask her and she responded positively to the question but she continued to hook up with people and didn't stop till they were fully moved in together and you don't do that until you know a person well enough and trust them
Bro is really justifying her cheating because "they never said it wasn't ok to cheat" like it needs to be said. Does the guy also needs to specify that shee needs to wear clothes when going on a date with him ?
Sounds to me like she never thought really about what she wants for life. It's hard not to judge someone who keeps just doing hookups and even making notes about it, and then claims to have "fallen in love"? What kind of joke is this?
This guy is obviously very new to relationships and didn't bother or didn't know to establish intimacy boundaries - instead assuming that his partner has a similar attitude towards intimacy and sexual relations as him. People wanting to be more initially reserved with someone they see as particularly partner-worthy is INCREDIBLY common.
You make wait the one you want to date but some random in less than a a few hours can enjoy everything.... If you think that's fair that's just fucked up.
Yes blame him for her being for the streets. If you're interested in someone for a relationship you need to respect the relationship. If you want an exclusive relationship with someone and you're still fucking other people you don't deserve a real relationship.
@@direwolf8703When did she demand that he be exclusive? She only slept with other people back when they were essentially just friends. It ended when they made their relationship semi-official with a kiss. Though it sounds like he never bothered to actually have that talk.
i totally understand the willingness not to have intimacy ruin a potentially serious relationship, and OP should not feel insecure about it imho, but anything else is a pile of shit and deception
Bro she is getting railed during that same time. She pulls away from a kiss and fears intimacy having an issue, while at the very same time she is railed EARLIER THAT SAME DAY
So from stuff that happened to me and some psychological knowledge I have from my parents (both therapists), I would conclude: 1. I believe her when she says that she needed the validation from sleeping with others. Thats is common behavior among people, who didnt get that from their (in most cases) parents. 2. The reason she still slept with other guys, when they started dating (from OPs POV), so before they kissed, is probably thats all she d ever done in the relationship department, so she just kept going. It was probably normal for her, so she didn't think twice. 3. I also believe that she was scared at first, when he wanted to kiss her, because it was a new feeling, she d never had before. Obviously I believe those things, considering that OP believed what she said wasn't a lie, but from the psychological perspective it does male sense. BUT the real problems (imo) start where she lied to him (about the guy from work). Thats a big no go. Thats the point where the relationship would have ended for me already. The second problem is something no one is at fault for: her past and the actions (sleeping around) that come with it. I don't see her at fault, but personally I would no longer have a rs with her. The problem with such a situation is (I speak from experience) that maybe the first couple of years everything will be alright. You are the first that values her for who she is and not just her body. You help her value herself more, she gets confidence in her own worth, etc. And without you noticing this "help" will get, or is from the beginning, the basis of your rs. Now what happens when she gets "better"? Right, part of the reason (or even the whole reason) she loves you and finds you attractive vanishes. If you don't "start building" something else during this time or there are simply no other things that make you attractive in her eyes, that will lead to a relationship where both are unhappy, one or both are unfaithful or even a toxic one. Believe me you dont want that.
As someone who fell for every thing that this man’s explained once, it doesn’t get better, it doesn’t get easier, and once a cheat is always a cheat. If you accept her, ask yourself “When is the next time this happens?” Or “will I be able to trust?” Crocodile tears and emotional excitement is easy ass shit, but trusting someone after they betrayed your trust first… that’s harder than you think.
Ngl if u did fall for the stuff the OP did then you've gotta be stupid who the hell believes in those fake ahh tears and the fact she was acting normal the whole time and was probably never planning to tell him anything
@@SmiIeyman I mean, true haha I appreciate you being real with me. This was years ago and I learned my lesson since but I did fall for it, many people do, some unfortunately don’t ever get out of that trap while some do.
Well, gotta give her credit for being organized? And Chad always gets it fast and for free. Good guys need to wait. The important thing from this video is what pressure washer was that? I'd like to get one like it.
Yeah.. you’re definitely female. I just gotta say, ladies.. toxic femininity seems a much more pervasive and harmful issue than its masculine counterpart has been in decades. What we don’t realize is that we’re hurting ourselves just as much as we are our men. Be better, bitches. (As a woman myself, I can say this. So don’t @ me. 🙄)
Seems like she is being honest. And made a common mistake. You're right. You cant go back to the way things were before. It sounds like she's willing to do her part to build your guys's next chapters together. But her deception is very telling. If you hadnt found everything out yourself, would she have told you everything? You have to decide if you can start building them with her. You'll need to lay out a road map together. That being said, this is way too common of a thing these days, and just so indicative of the moral deficit in today's society. The fact that it didnt even cross her mind that this would make you feel like that and that she thought that taking things slow with the guys she really cared about while getting it from other guys, was the right thing to do, really shows how brainwashed a lot of todays women are. Doesnt mean shes a bad person, but she made a big mistake not being upfront with you about all of this at the beginning.
It is interesting that she had the natural instinct to understand that she should take it slow with the guy she was really interested in (assuming that's the truth, which seems possible).
She’s not your person. Move on. She’s the type of woman that cheats and initiates a divorce after a couple of years because she claims she is not getting enough attention… now you lose everything, and still have to pay alimony and child support, even though you were warned at the beginning of the relationship
She told you the truth in the end, and you both truly love each other. She did a shitty thing in the past, but she worked it out with you. Personally, I’d give her a second chance, but it’s really your choice, because leaving her could also be valid.
The thing that’s bugging me is that he and she didn’t elaborate on, was the guy that kept going to their house whom she slept with multiple times. That alone would make me end things regardless of what she said about cutting that life off, and I’m her soulmate etc. bringing someone who’ve you fucked multiple times, inside my house/apt and making us meet, that’s a slap to the face. Why was dude there? Why did she still meet with him? We’re they still doing it behind his back?.
I wont ever understand the logic of one night stands or fwbs yet taking it slow with your partner or not being interested in them sexually. Its such a dumb way of thinking and causes so many issues
This is weirdly how some women think. The "relationship guy", the one they're considering for the long-term, they don't take to bed early because they want the intimacy to mean something and have all the true "love making" emotional enhancements beyond "just sex". (And yes, early intimacy CAN derail that emotional bonding of a building relationship.) The guys they consider "just for fun", and have no interest in doing anything but sleeping with, those guys get the sex early and often--and often more wild and kinky than the "relationship guy" ever even knows is an option with her.
She doesn’t know what love is or how to treat her body, yet knew well enough that she didn’t want to immediately sleep with him because she cared more about him that the others??? Yet also doesn’t even consider them a thing until 2 years in when they moved???? Evidently her morals are questionable but she definitely knew what she was doing was wrong, she just didn’t want to put in the work to put a stop to it. So many people have childhood trauma or mommy/daddy issues, I get it, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t work on yourself as an adult. It sucks that we have to put effort into trauma that we aren’t responsible for, but we are still responsible for our lives as a whole, and how we treat others.
The other guys were all Chads and got the Chad treatment aka beeing able to hit on the 1-3 dates. She just realised that Chads never commit to actual relationships lol. She would had happily been in a relationship with any of those Chads she slept with the boyfriend was always just plan B.
Dawg she fo da streets if she lies to u when u confront her that means she not for u and some personal advice if I girl takes a long time to figure out what u and her are or when to kiss then she's not interested enough and has 50% more chance to cheat on u
This is a tough one, I mean in a general stand point I’d say “yeah leave the bitch” but I mean if the dude’s co-worker confirmed that it was just a hookup nothing more then it kinda throws me off, bc again she did stop or atleast slow down after they slept together and for someone who fucks so often not fucking the one u truly love is logical as she may view it as something that’s transactional, so damn id say get back with her but be hella open or sum bull shit and make it clear the next this happens he leaves without even discussing.
Yeah I feel like a lot of people in these comments are being very bitter, focusing on the wrong aspects and jumping to some conclusions to strengthen their personal views
@jackavalmasovnon at the end of the day it's the man and his gf .. he knows how much she has done for him . Yes she might not have been sure and yes that doesn't mean that she should cheat while being with him and also yes his feelings are valid . But at present she's genuine about her feelings for him and she has stopped means that she'll never likely repeat that same mistake again . He hasn't been in a serious relationship before and similarly she has been considered as an object of pleasure in her previous relationships . Both have their own stories and until one has been in the girl's shoes they can't really comment how it feels to not feel valued and trying to validate oneself through sex .The man must talk about it with her and give her a last chance and see where it goes .. if during that time she again jumps off her boundaries or he feels that even after giving her a last chance he doesnt feel comfortable laying his trust on her then they can talk over it again and decide . And the all mighty righteous people here who are commenting on how he should break up over something in the past when she's really trying to be a genuine partner .. looks like they have done nothing wrong in their lives and never felt the desperate wish to be forgiven
Ignoring the fact that she got rail during the relationship, always tell who you dating if you have past intimacy so at least they are aware of who you are and will try to open for who you are outside of intimacy and obviously dont get rail when you are on relationship
![[Full Story] Girlfriend has a SPREADSHEET of the GUYS SHE CHEATED ON ME WITH.](/img/logo.svg){kind=logo}
