FUNNIEST TINDER TEXTS V4 

#dankness Teacher: Tim is in a race with 4 other people. What is the percentage of him winning? Me: 50% Teacher: And why is that? Me: Because he either wins or loses. Teacher: Listen here you little sh*t

#Dankness Her: He’s probably thinking of other girls Him: Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

Him: Are you hand sanitizer because 99.9% of you is perfect and I’m the 0.01% missing.

I'm surprised I didn't find anyone say "I'm allergic to dying"

#dankness Her: he's probably thinking about other women Him: why are all the people getting featured using this format

Teacher: what is your main goal in life student 1: To be a doctor student 2: To be a police officer me: to be featured in memellion's next video #dankness

#dankness Everyone: Making jokes to be in the video. Me: I’m allergic to shark bites

#dankness Nobody: Younger sibling: tries to get me in trouble For something I didn’t do My parents: Go on my side once and for all Me: *bow down to me you nasty peasant*

#Dankess Everybody: QuArAnTiNe iS yOuR tImE tO gLoW Me: the only thing glowing is my phone screen

memellion is what I listen to in the morning after having. breakfast.

#dankness Me: looks at likes and views RU-vid: shows less views and more likes Me: Wait, that's illegal

#Dankness Her: I wonder if he's thinking about other girls Him: I wonder if she's thinking about other guys *unstable relationship intensifies*

Everyone: “bio” Memellion: B-O

2:01 "Well listen hooker" I'm dead 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

The guy with 99,9% time wearing socks (around 3:45 ) made a mistake, because the remaining 1.44 minutes is NOT 1 minute and 44 seconds (because 1 minute != 100 seconds). 0.44 of a minute is 0.44 x 60 seconds = 26.4 seconds. So 1.44 minutes = 1 minute 26.4 seconds. Yes, I have a master's degree in Mathematics, finally I can use it!

End of the world:*exists* Random guy who was afk irl: what the hell happened here? Me:¯\_(ツ)_/¯ #dankness

“I’d love to help” He’s the luckiest person on earth

#dankness Me: learns renegade after 5 years TikTok: renegade isn't even a thing anymore

0:02 "It needs to be about 20% cooler"

#dankness Person: Yes my dog is finally sleeping! I don’t think anything could- *accidentally kicks bowl* Person: Shoot. Dog: *continues running and eating things* Also, for all of the dog lovers (including me) saying that not all dogs are like that i know that is 100% true because i have a puppy and he acts crazy but i used to have a dog that was the sweetest thing ever and would never do that

Me: tries to socialise Anime and Hentai: You have confidence?

#dankness Me: *does homework* My dog: im about to ruin this whole womans career

4:13 that one actually made me laugh.

#dankness Memellion: uploads a new video My brain: but you need to study Me: BUT I LIVE OFF MEMES I NEED THEM TO SURVIVE

Me: touches shark Shark: tries to bite me Me: no, I said to rare walrus pupper "I am allergic to shark bites" Shark: *Respectable have a nice day* #Dankness

i'm dying hahahaha the last one is lit!

Memellion: **posts video* Me: _[the slowest tap in the middle east]_

#dankness Her: he’s probably thinking about other girls Him: thinking about other girls Me: You weren’t supposed to do that

#DANKNESS Me: Takes a crap My friend: Walks in on me Me: Hippity Hoppity, your soul is now my property

My mom: do you want taco's or Burger King Me: yes #Dankness

10:08 i was not expecting that

Her: He is probebley thinking about other girls Him: How did he kill me if I shot him first #Dankness

#Dankness RU-vid: you have comments Me: can I see them RU-vid: *yes, but actually no*

I'm allergic to shark bites.

"Surprise it's the nazi's." I died

Memellion: *posts a video* Me: _fastest click in the west_ #dankness

Cool doggo 😁

#dankness Legend has it memellion will pin this comment! Like this to make it true

#DANKNESS No one: Not a single soul: RU-vid reccomended list: Frog slowly eats army figure ASMR

That dog in the beginning is Slurms Mckenzie 11/10

Come,walrus!Im allergic to shark bites

LIKING THIS IS AN EQUVEALENT TO ACTUALLY TYPING IT "I'm allergic to shark bites."

Main character in animal crossing:*exist* Tom Nook: gives you house Also Tom Nook: I'm gonna do whats called a pro gamer move #Dankness

#DANKNESS COVID-19:EXISTS random collector youtuber:I don't have such weekneses.

Im allergic to shark bites. Ight off to BUDs bois

That #Dankness comment had me dying lol

#Dankness The media: videogames cause violence Me wanting to protect my Minecraft pets from danger: ...

Me : **enters a website** That website: would you like some cookies? #dankness

Knock knock Who’s there? Surprise it’s the Nazis

3:10: they had us in the first half not gonna lie

#Dankness Her: he’s probably thinking bout other girls Him: why weren’t there any smooth pickup lines in the comments

#Dankness Memellion: i posted a vid and you did not click Me: i turned on the notifications, lets try agian... RU-vid: *giggling* do it agian russ.

#dankness enderman in minecraft dungeons: *stays in water without dying* me: wait thats illegal

4:10 arwwww that one is adorable 😍😍😍😍😂😂😂

#Dankness My mom: *undertands that online games cannot be paused* The internet: Impossible

I'm allergic to shark bites

#dankness Her: He is probably thinking of other women. Him: The cork that goes in a barrel is called a bung; and the bung goes in the bung hole.

#dankness Me:telling to my crush i love her My crush: im lesbian Me:wheres the knife

#Dankness Me:stubs toe Pain: allow us to introduce ourselves

banks be like: can i take a little bit from here mr beast mr beast: oh ok bank: takes 3000$ mr beast: huh u can take a 30000$ as a tip #Dankness

0:46 1:43 2:21 2:46 3:09 3:20 this one is just goldddd love the pickup lines

Me: "Finally I have a Twitter, time to talk with everyone" Simps: "I hAtE bEiNg MeN" Me: *Load's shotgun with malicious intend*

#dankness Her:he’s prob cheating on me while I’m at movies Him: *has a fashion show with his friends*

"Will barely dent your schedule"

im alergic to shark bites

#dankness Me: im allergic to shark bites Rare walrus doggo: shiz bro thats all you had to say

#dankness Her: I love you Ugly guy: why Her: your dog is freaking adorable I'm going out with him

the last one got me ngl

The seven dislikes are serious cat people

Nobody: Me at 3AM watching an ad for the fiftieth time: I ain't get no sleep so I won't sleep from these cool bois haunting my room.

I’m allergic to shark bites! Help me walrus pupper

4:51 Task failed successfully

Me: *exists* Parasites: hippity hoppity your body is now my property #dankness

9:53 Shouldve said "Ok, im gonna stop you right there." *You ever seen John Wick?*

#Dankness Her: He is probably thinking of other girls. him: `" what should i change my tiktok profile picture to"

3:50 lolll he did math wrong. it should be 1 minute 4 seconds

“I’m allergic to shark bites”

Her: she's probably thinking about other girls Me: Hold up-

I'm alergic to explosions

I’m allergic to shark bites, walrus pupper please save me

That guy could have taken ten minute showers every other day

0:46 There’s this thing called a fucking trash can. If you can’t find one, then too bad.

Me aproachs a footlocker* Me:enters Me:why do i hear boss music? The helper standing in the darkest corner:... HOW CAN I HELP U SIR!!!

Memeilion: like the video and subscribe right now to get 50% cooler Me whose coolness level is 0: "nothings changed"

Im allergic to shark bites lol

" I'm allergic to shark bites"

5:50 is to good 😂

#dankness Her: He’s prob thinkin’ bout’ ways to trick a vegan Him: -asleep- I wonder what memelion’s gonna do with his servants of content today?

#DANKNESS Ex: Is texting The Guy: pretending to Sleep.

#Dankness Her: he is probably thinking about other women Him: she is probable thinking that im thinking about other woman

This is the best youtuber ever

everyone knowing it’s not actually gonna happen: everyone: iM aLlErGiC tO sHaRk bItEs #dankness

#dankness The United States of America: *exists* Coronavirus: Hippity, hoppity, this is now my property

#dankness Her:he probably think about other girls Him:if Jesus walk on the water that means he can Swim on earth

#dankness My: friend: puts 4 exclamition's marks Me: wait that's illegal

No one: actually everyone: because in like the comment section of every video: first! #dankness

#dankness Bats : *exists* China: *"its free real estate"*

I’m allergic to shark bites if you didn’t know

I'm allergic to shark bites! (I had too.)

#dankness Ur cool I love ur vids You:I love melon Me:water melon? Yo u MELON