Gabor Maté on Understanding Grief as an Antidote to Trauma 

It would be nice to have him to do that

Well people are expected to be "HAPPY" all the time which is not authentic. It's not the correct response to certain situations.

Indeed.. very good comment.

His approach in clinical practice is called Compassionate Inquiry, which he teaches. It's a psychotherapeutic approach to trauma counselling combining somatic awareness and pointed questions. I've gone through the professional year long training and supervised sessions. I'd recommend searching for Compassionate Inquiry demo.

@@5n5i5k5k5i thanks, but one doesn't need to be a doctor to learn and practice...that's why I don't get why Gabor is worshipped by so many ppl...he didn't invent Compassionate Inquiry.

That latter part bears heavy weight 👌🏼

Well said...

Surely if you feel victimized you have been victimized, even if only by your own foolishness? The feeling of victimization cannot exist without a cause. I understand the need for nuance, but if someone says they were traumatized it is not our place to tell them they haven't been. It's their _choice_ to exist in that space until they _choose_ to no longer be there. For some it takes a lifetime and for others it takes a few minutes, but we must be allowed to feel how we feel without being policed and worrying about offending people with "more correct" definitions than us. I also totally agree with you. However, people in a narcissistic space of relating need empathy and compassion in order to heal, and if that means they use "trauma" incorrectly let them have at it in their narcissistic bubbles until everyone around them has abandoned them and they are forced to face themselves. I don't have the answers. I just know that policing "millenials" for using "trauma" incorrectly doesn't heal their very real issues. If you had told me this while I was in the middle of processing my (actual) trauma, I would have rightly felt invisible, unheard, unsupported, mocked, and belittled and (justifiably) would have dismissed your opinions on my mental health just because you thought I incorrectly used a term. I think the focus should be more on "what's causing them to be this way" than "I'm so annoyed by these narcissists using this term incorrectly" which just dismisses their very real issues, whether or not they are correctly labeled as trauma (which if it's something they are stuck on, it is probably a trauma).

Wow 🔥

We don’t grieve for someone you don’t know who died like George unless he was v close as a family member. I don’t think you have lost someone who loved ocean deep dr Gabe . You response maybe you did from the Holocaust but you were too young to have deeply connected with those . Maybe not ? I lost my spouse who I loved so much and who also was my only and best friend . Four yrs on and i stlll Brutally grieve. I grieve everyday on various levels . Has it traumatized me ? For sure for I contemplated suicide many times , even today I don’t want to wake up and face the world. Every day every minute I only think of my spouse who was also Jewish. The most amazing man I had ever met . I’m lucky to have met two of the greatest men of Jewish background. I myself was brought up Irish Catholic. I had a very difficult childhood with an alcoholic dysfunctional father .. Grieving is for life ... how could it not be? It’s for life only if you truly loved your spouse ocean deep. It’s temporary if you had a bad relationship. My mother never grieved for my abusive father who beat my mother all his life - until I came off age . I love to grieve .. for you Maury Hirshberg for what an amazing man you are. Forever in my heart . I salute you.. Never Forgotten

I hope you can find some peace

So very sorry.

@@user-he6rs8xi7u thank you💓

@@myriadplanes 💓

Yes. Its such a weight to bear.

@@myriadplanes unfortunately, nowadays nobody participate in anybody's life anymore, so if something very heavy is happening to you, there is no one who knows your life well enough so you can tell him/her about it. People only see each other as "stories", but pain and grief are impossible to explain through stories, one has to be a part of your life, to understand what was going on.

@@lenablochmusic I completely understand and agree. It sad we do not have those deep connections. Having those connections is fundamental to our survival. I just found out someone I used to know died. The pain is unbearable. But you just have to accept that darkness and in doing so transmute it into something new and hopeful.

@@myriadplanes I do not believe that we have to pretend that darkness can be hopeful or positive. It is self defense that leads to self destruction, eventually. There is nothing wrong in pain and suffering. Our society makes us cripples in that it does not accept a human being walking and living in pain and showing suffering. We must all pretend to be positive, like puppets... like dolls. i do not agree with that. A crying, sad, desperate person is LEGITIMATE and should not be seen as abnormal or disturbing.

@@lenablochmusic No not to pretend. But I as a young man must find some strength in order to live a life. And in some way contribute to change so that future generations will not suffer in the same way... That is my only light in the dark

I'm also curious about this. As someone with Asperger's it has added an interesting layer to the trauma I have experienced. Much of what I have experienced I don't think I would have if I didn't have Asperger's.

I suppose the autistic reaction to trauma would be more intense bc of their sensitivity.

Faisal...It seems you can access here for a fee: catalog.pesi.com/sales/bh_001366_healinginanxioustimes_sumredirectlink-136192

I cant help you, I only know that my depersonalized period was a result of never listening to my heart and speaking my mind. It ended when I promised myself that I would speak my mind as soon as I was downplaying my feelings. Not with anger, but just as i formation. Bow I am an emotianal old fart hahaba, but I love again!

It's a long process to learn to feel but possible. Look up "teal swan how to feel" on RU-vid she has a process for it.