Welcome. My name is Maria Davids. Lets have conversations in the comments section. For promotion and collaboration contact tymmie001@gmail.com Instagram:Mariadavids
I told all my kids, “YOU get one life, do what YOU want with it.” If I never get grandchildren I’ll be okay because my daughters are all I’ve ever needed. And when they’re adults, I want them to thrive, if none of them want kids NO PASA NADA 🤷🏽♀️ (meaning no problem.)
@@lostandfond2163 Absolutely! I'm really lucky that I had parents like you as well. They are very self-aware of how hard it can be and told me they support whatever I decided.
@@sallyhemings2295 Exactly! I mean, why would you want to put your kids in that position?! I've known people who've had to quit their careers because their aging parents didn't plan their old age years accordingly and it financially DEVISTATED the household. Why would anyone want to put that on their kids?!
I wish people would embrace being childfree without rationalizing it with "I'm selfish." Refusing to sacrifice yourself for the cause of motherhood is NOT selfish. Wanting to live a happy, fulfilling life is not selfish. It's normal.
I agree with what you’re saying but it’s also OK to be selfish. Being selfish is seen as a bad thing when it shouldn’t be. Everyone is selfish to a certain degree and if someone acknowledges they aren’t willing to make personal sacrifices for a child that’s OK.
There is nothing wrong with being selfish. It is very selfish. So is having children. Having children is more selfish. We don't have to qualify things as good and bad. They just are.
They mean selfish towards the patriarchy and how women being tied to babies has benefited them because they get to thrive and rule the world while women stayed locked inside the house being called the inferior sex .
When they call women selfish they're saying they're selfish to the potential men. They think there's a man out there that's entitled to her and her womb🤮🙄
@@hardcandy71287 and I am so happy it did. We are not blessed. We are TRAPPED! Even after “death.” We must end this suffering. To human and animal. We must.
As a fellow gen Z I agree. However I'm not selfish with my money, I'm selfish with my time. I spent my youth helping raise 5 younger siblings and living how people wanted me to live. I'm now trying to pick up the pieces why I learn how to be an adult. I'm a mess, I can't do this to "my offspring." I don’t think I'm equipped enough to be a good mother. Plus the men are poor quality. I don’t think I meet the criteria to be who they want me to be. I'm saving myself as well. Never been in a relationship. Don't want one atm.
Using what belongs to you how you want is not selfish. It's your money. It's your time. You own those things. Don't let people call you selfish just because you are not doing what they want with your property. It IS acting in your own self-interest. Selfish is acting excessively in your own self-interest. If you buy an apartment because you need a place to live and outbid someone else, that is not selfish. It is acting in your own self-interest. They just did not put forth the money you said you would, but that is not your fault. It could be selfish if you only bought the property so the other person would not have a place to live. You don't owe anyone your time or money unless you make an obligation or damage someone's property and owe them or something like that.
Parentification is child abuse and I’m sorry that happened to you. It happened to me too. Starting at about seven or eight years old it was my responsibility to get me and my younger brother to school, to go get groceries on my bike, to prepare meals even though I didn’t even know how to do it. I set the kitchen curtains on fire once because I didn’t know you had to clean the crumb catcher out of the toaster oven. Back when I was younger I told people I was child free because I already raised kids and I’m not doing it again.
I believe in love cuz my heart but I ain't settling for shit. Hence I'm single. Plus family don't approve of women(I'm bi). I just to myself, self pleasure, Chinese Dramas, anime, video games, etc. I'm happy chick lol😂
My mom wants me to have kids so bad. I told her I don't want kids at all. She keep saying that I will change my mind someday. I told her not in this lifetime. My mom have called me selfish many times. I told my mom that I would rather regret not having kids then regret having kids. Plus I've been told by different mothers not to have kids.
There is nothing more selfish or narcissistic than having a child. It’s the worst act. If not for forced life - there would be no murderers or animal abusers or corruption.
Don't listen to the "you'll regret it when you hit 50". I'm not just childfree, I've been single by choice for almost 16 years and I'm in a healthy, satisfied place. My family and friends, my career, my passions, my spirit.... it's full and good.
I'm 50 and childfree. I don't have a regretful bone in my body. Looking at all these miserable mothers going through homelessness, supporting grown azz kids, dealing with cheating husbands, being expected to be free babysitters to grandkids, never having time for themselves. No thanks!!!
Isn't that a selfish thought process to begin with? If you're 50, It's time for your kids to go out into the world and make their own lives instead of making them indebted to yourselves. Guilting your kids to come and visit once in a while when they're busy doesn't make one less lonely. That's the whole point of parenting, to create capable grown adults that go out and conquer their own goals.
@Childfree334 seriously? Do you have a problem with reading comprehension? I was actually agreeing with you. My point was that the mentality of " who's going to be there for you when you're older?" Is a selfish mentality. It's in fact more selfish if you have kids, just so they would be your own personal companion in your own age rather than letting them live their own lives.
I currently am a caregiver, and this shit is sucking the life out of me! I took care of my grandfather until the night he passed away. I was holding him while he took his last breath. I now look after my grandma who is 92 and my mother who is 70 with end stage copd and active drug addiction. My plan for my life was to live independently and have my PhD. I'm currently 34 and have achieved neither of these plans. I sacrificed the better part of my youth being a caregiver to adult children. And I'm not happy. I'm still waiting for my life to start. When I'm free of these obligations, I do not want children or a husband because I'm exhausted with caring for people.
I hope that you are able to get out of that situation if/when it becomes too much for your mental health. I'll take people gossiping about me while I live a happy life over having a miserable existence to meet other people's expectations. I know that sounds cold and maybe it is, but you only get one life and it should not be something you dread. Sending you lots of love in the meantime because I know being a caretaker for one isn't easy so 3 is hard for me to imagine ❤
I hear you and I'm willing to bet none of them have left you any inheritance. You have the right to live your life and enjoy it. Maybe you can help them get a caretaker and you just check in from time to time.
I feel you on it. Plus everyone tells the daughter to take care of everything, while the son gets to live. I love my mom but I know I will be taking care of her. It's hard on different aspects honestly.
I told all my kids, “YOU get one life, do what YOU want with it.” If I never get grandchildren I’ll be okay because my daughters are all I’ve ever needed. And when they’re adults, I want them to thrive, if none of them want kids NO PASA NADA 🤷🏽♀️ (meaning no problem.)
@@KingOfThePirates101 duh lol My brother is gay, I’m friends with people who are trans. And I would consider myself bisexual so honestly I could care less
@@lostandfond2163You shut his ass up QUICK 😂😂 They love fear mongering women into needing them somehow bcs they know how useless they are and how many women are realizing it. I love what you said about your daughters. That's so sweet and says a lot about you 🩷💙
As a parent, it’s terrifying. If I knew what I know now before I had kids- I would never have. I’m trying my best to prepare my kids, but this is gonna be a rough world for future generations.
I’m a childfree millennial and i agree with her completely. One of my concerns is that America keeps sowing chaos in the world and i never believed we won’t see the consequences of that.
I am an older millennial, and I can honestly say dating hasn’t changed much. There are women in every generation who are married AND unmarried who look at each other weird for life choices. I learned early that the married women are married because they settled for f***ery. It really has never been a real, true flex to say you’re married.
I think dating definitely has changed. Times have changed, everything has. The way we meet people has changed, the things we want out of life have changed. SOCIAL MEDIA alone has obliterated dating.
I'm a young millennial and in the same boat. NO kids. I love children, but the world is not worthy of my children. Too expensive, too divided, too isolated, and if they are like me and my partner, they will have a save the world complex, struggle with mental health, risk of ADHD and autism, not to mention other special needs. It just isn't the time or place for me.
I have to point out that there's nothing wrong with people having autism. I had alot high functioning friends in my life and they turned out all right (I'm not pushing you to make children btw! Please don't get misunderstood of what I am saying)
@@ms.pirate i’ve seen how society and peers treat people with autism. They bully and make fun of them because they’re autistic. I’m not autistic myself but i have a younger brother that is, and i’ve seen his struggles with socializing and being accepted by others.
I was raised and told to submit to my husband and pop out a bunch of babies. That's what the church's say. It's a trap. I feel so bitter that I was raised to believe that my life was not accomplished unless I got married and had kids. Because for years I felt like I was failing. I was so unhappy for something I couldn't control and wouldn't have even wanted anyway. I want to marry a woman. My uterus is coming out in a week. I feel like I was brainwashed my whole life.
Yeah it’s definitely a brainwash. There’s no part of women designed to even think about men much less marry them. Women only started doing that as a brainwash. That’s why when women wake up, it’s pretty obvious what needs to happen. But on the other hand MEN were MADE to be with WOMEN but not in a good way, in a terrorizing type of way. Their constant need for sex is really an insurance that they will never quit their purpose to terrorize you.
So what does that tell you about the “church.” And what the church talks about. It is a TRAP. it always has been. “God” is a trap. (A man of all things..)
@@triggered577Terrible things can happen to you and with state laws abortion is practically illegal. Also she probably wants greater control over her body and periods are useless pain if you don't intend to even use it. That's only a few reasons I could think of.
where are the father material men? where? ........ they're like is she wife material but women are the gatekeepers women are sexual selection, what women want is the only thing that matters
My daughter is 12 and has said over and over she will not bear children!! These kids are seeing how the world is and how parenting will be. I'm totally okay with her not bear kids and I will respect her wishes. This Tik Tok video is on point and needed to be said.
i'm so glad to hear this. i had an online interaction with a man earlier today and i can tell that a lot of men truly think that girls and young women aren't also waking up to the bullshit. that's why they keep moving the goal post of what they consider young. it used to be anything under 30. now it's 18-22. it would be younger if it were legal. look at how are they are trying to keep child marriage legal. they are hoping to prey on the younger women but they're in for a rude awakening.
The reason some parents get utterly triggered when anyone (especially women) doesn't want kids is bc they are utterly miserable as parents and misery loves company. Its a tough pill to swallow to have a lot of bitterness about a choice you made only to see that there are people who wont fall for the okey-doke. If they actually gave a damn about some hypothetical children, they would know that all kids deserve parents who *actively* want to raise them instead of a "selfish person" who has no interest in parenting.
Not always true. I've and still continue to enjoy being a mother. I enjoy it. So much that I want my daughter to enjoy it too. BUT her life belongs to her. I will support her decision. But let's not be negative about the reasons why we want to have grand children.
Parents want their kids to have kids because they want pay back they want you to experience the hell they had to (chose to) go through and all the sacrifice and bodily fluids to clean up and all that stuff taken care of you , they want you to feel pain Even though they chose that pain and and sacrifice but parents are sadistic but they'll never admitted, parents are very selfish creatures
Oh yes this is very true like my son is special needs. My mom gloats at the fact that he's difficult to handle. Then she'll talk about how difficult I was and my siblings. Funny thing now is she loves and all her other daughters when they become pregnant over and over again. But however when it comes to me that's not the case. It's funny because you never really wanted me to have children. It's like it was okay for the others but not for me. I still plan to have more children something she's against LOL. She was shocked and I told her that my son don't owe me anything and neither will the rest of my children. I chose to have them not the other way around. My mom constantly reminds me how much I owe her because she laid down and had me. Last time I checked I didn't ask to be here. Now that I am can you show me the respect that you show your other daughters? It's like a toxic trait she has and it's so disturbing.
@@ReinaAfricanai’m sorry you have to deal with that 😢 if i were you my only options would be to be 100% transparent with her every damn time she did anything problematic so she’d always be aware of what she’s doing and how she’s making me feel. other than that it’s kicking her out of my life which is so unfair and hard because a loving healthy mother daughter relationship shouldn’t be a stressful or unattainable thing, but she makes it so.
I drive for Lyft usually in the morning so I get quite a few older people. They usually like to talk so I listen and many of them complain about not having their children around to care of them. There is no guarantee that the children you brought into this world will wait on you hand and foot in your old age. You better make enough money to take care of yourself. Also stop having children you can’t afford so you will be able to save for your own retirement and not make it someone else’s responsibility.
1. To fulfil their unaccompanied lives and 2. take care of them when they are old out of obligation like entertaining them, changing their diapers, washing their asses and visiting them because they failed to create a community for themselves like a normal human being 😒
When I was a teenager (mid-2000s), I had assumed that I would eventually get married and have children because it was normal. After I graduated high school in 2010, I gradually changed my mind. At first, I thought “not yet” because of financial reasons and I wanted to be married before having children because I naively thought it would shield me from being a “baby mama.” I gradually lost hope because dating is dangerous and disappointing. A lot of these men claim to want a “good” woman but will ignore you or mistreat when you won’t “put out”, do things that you’re not comfortable with, or if you assert your boundaries. There were some things that men tried that I didn’t know was assault until I came across a TikTok video. Then there are these manosphere podcasts and all the dastardly, predatory, mind games and control tactics they’re teaching to other men. None of these men are worth bearing children and sacrificing my life and identity for. I figured that I’m not bred and groomed for this world and if I brought children into it, they wouldn’t stand a chance. I mourned those dreams until I discovered the joys of traveling with my mom, going to comic conventions, sleeping in on my days off, splurging on whatever I want when I want, going out and about when I want, focusing on hobbies and trying new things, participating in more church activities and volunteering-just living.
Honestly that young lady makes so much sense cuz I'm 44 years old I never been married I don't have kids I'm an empath I just felt like I couldn't safely feel safe with a child right now unless I have two million dollars to have a child it starts with that
That 22 year old has more wisdom than people I know who are twice her age. She is definitely wise beyond her years On another note, I am a GenX and it’s very troubling to know that the younger generation have those same issues dating nowadays. I really thought that was mainly an issue with those of us who have left the buffet of single eligible people that were superfluous when we were in college and when we were young, single and always ready to mingle. Never had issues with getting into a long term relationship when i was younger because single men were abound and wanted and needed a girlfriend. Very sad that this seems to be the opposite with the younger generations. Very disturbing
I'm a Gen X'er and I can only speak from my experience and I agree there were men to go around....and they were a holes back then as well. We just didn't have these interwebs to spread the truth. The black community does not have a 70% oow birthrate starting from now...that started decades ago. My parents were the last solid generation of married en mass black folk as far as I can tell....born in 1937 and 1938. All of my 16 Aunts and Uncles were married except the Vietnam veteran never married or had children. Only one Aunt divorced.
@@jacquelynn2051 because social media is letting women see/hear these men on their mics saying they want (a legacy) children, but they don't want marriage. They want the woman to go 50/50, but she must be traditional. They want a woman to stay home and give up her studies/career/goals but she must not dare be a gold-digger. They don't know what the heck they want, so it's not surprising why women are hesitant. The rating (s@xual value) system is wild too.
I’d rather someone never have kids then have unwanted kids and treat them like shiii , I see so many blk single mothers pushing strollers in the hot sun , no father in sight and it looks bad , it’s like enjoy the attention of being pregnant and people congratulating them but they don’t have stable relationships or marriages so the child ends up neglected and confused , especially if the woman continues to have more kids by dead beats , being childless is the best choice , I only want one child when I’m about 28 , but that’s it , if it’s twins that’s fine but I don’t want anymore than 2 children , I refuse to bring a boat load of kids into this world when I’m not gonna be able to provide for em .
I agree I just realized I couldn't handle it. It doesn't mean other women can't decide to have kids or that they can't change their mind but most of these things they do to try and manipulate women into having kids is for their own personal benefit just to keep the planet populated it's very selfish I'm 38 no kids still don't want them because I'm in a transition period were I'm trying to move and when your in the middle of all this that is when they try to hold you back and tell you that you might make some pretty kids or you might regret it. Not really I've never seen them throw that much shade at child free men you have to love the person your trying to make kids with and if there's nobody out there left for you, you will just adapt and carry on you aren't damaged by these idiots you just don't care what they think about it because it's not there decision. .
You can’t be “selfish” towards children that do not and will never exist. They are nonentities. You can’t be selfish towards a nonexistent person who will never be born. 😂
I wonder, where did being 'child free' equate to hating kids? Where did that come from because last i heard that was not the case. At least not with me. I'm child free but don't hate or wish then harm.
This is what i got from my dusty brothers. We were all abused. Poor. Animal cruelty. S3xual crap. Neglected. No love. I am their only sister, out of 7. And they shunned me for not wanting children and for caring for animals. I served in the army and even ADOPTED four of them at one point. Sent THOUSANDS OF DOLLARS OVER MANY YEARS. none of them speak to me now. And guess what? I am UN-FKN-BOTHERED!
Much of the rhetoric is as much about how kids and moms are annoying to them vs just speaking about themselves..not a goof strategy coming after moms, they should just focus on them. They are about to wake some very powerful sleeping lions (the men who want to protect this), and they are ruthless if people havent figured it out.
Exactly I have to keep defending my child-free friends because people keep calling them selfish. They are not selfish I'm getting sick and tired of that. These males honestly want something that they control and the pick-mes make it no better.
it's a tactic to guilt you or shame you. same thing as them saying that there is something wrong with you if you don't get married. it's mainly men wanting you to sacrifice your life and body for them.
The elders forget that we can see them and hear them. We saw YOU doing your very best and look at how that turned out. Why would anyone want to follow the same path? This is world wide. We have access to people's lives everywhere on this planet. We can see how messed up this thing can get. Why would we do the same? Let's just slowly depopulate and slip into nonexistence peacefully lol The men and religion won't allow that😅 it'll be red cloaks for us all
That part! I remember when i started dating in 8th grade and all the boys i met along the way except 1 in college were from broken, single mama, traumatic filled homes. My folks met at a club in Germany, dated 3 years, married, had 2 kids, n r still rockin w each other 37 years later. I'm sorry a lot of you men don't come from educated, loving, and stable homes but i refuse to be your therapist. As a well traveled millennial, with goals and money, i will remain childfree and single thanks😂😊
People come from shitty two parent homes too. And not all single moms do bad jobs those boys just need to want to do better. They just hate and it's what's wrong
@bmoe4609 I completely agree w u, however, u cannot argue with the fact that children strive better in ALL categories of lifestyle/living when they are raised in a stable, two parent household. The data doesn't lie! I should've also added in single daddy households. Either way of raising them is a negative.
i'm an older millennial. 36. and i agreed with every single word this young lady said. i'm single and child free and i just can't imagine living any other way at this point. i'm going back to school, i'm going to stack my money, and i will be just fine in retirement because all my money will be saved and spent on any care that i need. and i absolutely love her. 😆 she is so funny. i want to be her friend.
Kids aren't supposed to be a live in retirement plans. Its great that some may do care for elderly , but not all blood related people are owed family health care plans when they mistreated or down right menaces to adult or young kids.
There should be a national strike and refuse to have kids until we get 1) mandatory 1 year paid leave and the ability to get your job back 2) heavily subsidized, almost free childxare thru the age of 5. Thats it. We got to go from online complaining to real life taking action. And if they dont agree, we vote them out. But that would require america being united. Might be easier to pass in different states.
Sounds like a plan. btw, if you have professional speech skills, you can write our leaders a letter. We just need everyone to do our part to send them these plans, instead of waiting around, waiting for the right someone
so many women are already closing up shop on their wombs. 😆 no entry. there's nothing wrong with having kids but barely anyone is having them for the right reasons.
I agree, my company provides 1year paid leave for mom and 4 months paid leave for fathers. Which I’m grateful for if i decided i wanted to have a child but i child free… your points can be made in the conversation about abortion rights the government trying to hard to take that away but have done nothing yo assist parents who have children. It’s so messed up
I think you are on to something….but America is built on hatred, and we should be able to unite regardless of race/gender, however, there are way too many sadistic ppl here who will not allow breaks/provisions because they don’t want non-wytes to have anything…that’s why we don’t progress as a whole.
Next time a parent ask their children who will take care of them when old, r children need to look them straight in the eye and ask WHO'S GOING TO TAKE CARE OF YOU????
If they want kids so bad they can push them out themselves or adopt , pay a surrogate so much options not doing that for ungrateful men unless im paid as a surrogate
I'm Gen X and have always understood that humans are INDIVIDUALS. We each have our own dreams and needs from life. I REALLY wanted children so I had them. But I've never felt that parenting is for everyone. In fact, lots of ppl in this world should never have become parents. My Gen Z kids do not want to become parents and I back them up. I tell them all the time that they don't have to have the same life dreams as me and that they're individuals entitled to their own life paths. I used to be indifferent to the idea of my kids having their own because I knew I'd respect their choices. But now, with all that's going on, I'm actually relieved that both of my kids have chosen to be child free. As their mother, I want them to have wonderful lives and they get to decide what that means.
Same. I'm Gen X with Gen Z kids and my older son said he may not want kids or only one. He sees what we have to do to make ends meet for them, and he simply doesn't want to do it.
Omg this is sooo true. I have been an esthetician for years, and waxing is a very chatty service. The amount of clients who are kind, loving people, who acknowledge that marriage and motherhood is not what they hoped for is tremendous.
Yep. My mom felt the way the lady in the 1st video did. Didn't like spending her (my dad's) money on me. And she wasn't capable of ever treating us well when she didn't get something out of it (usually people were watching). I am happy and stable now do to shear will and $$$ of therapy. It would have been better if I'd never been born.
Live your own life and don't worry about a life that other people want you to live. The only way you could be selfish is for you to have a child to please someone else.
At 22 years old, having kids should be LAST thing on her mind. Young women need to live and FULLY enjoy their 20's and ignore the 35-50 year old dusties who come sniffing around...💅🏾
Whenever my mum complains that I don't want kids, I remind her that the only reason I'm able to cook for her and take care for her is because I don't have kids of my own. If I did I would never have the time! She stops complaining real fast :P
I say it all the time that the more the world leaves parenting to mentally healthy people that want children, the less traumatized children we will have in the world. Thus we will eventually end up with more mentally healthy and well-adjusted adults running the world.
I'm a Millennial, and trust me ladies WAIT or just don't have them at all, if that's what you feel comfortable with.. Don't let folks scare you about your age either, I'm 38, will be 39 in January and I just met with my Doctor and was told I have a large number of eggs still. The Most High is in control, don't let society scare you.
The fact that women are choosing not to have children.. Is a form of maternal instinct kicking in. It's far more compassionate NOT to have children that you know you're not qualified to raise. Also sparing them the pain and struggle of the world that humans have messed up... Is probably a good thing. Children are a huge blessing... But also a great responsibility.
Gen Z childfree here. I took an example from my Gen X aunt. No kids for her and she is living a life my mother envies. I followed in her footsteps and couldn't be happier. 🎉❤
Uuuuhhh…Her father has no opinion about her reproductive choices that she is obligated to respect. And if he can’t get in his place and respect her life and body, she needs to give him the boot. That’s exactly what I would do and it has become customary for these parents who don’t know their place to be exiled from their adult kids’ lives. He needs to put a damn sock in it. And I’m curious - what exactly do these brats think they are accomplishing in whining about our unwillingness to have children? They can’t do anything because they have no authority or right to do anything. As far as I’m concerned, these wanna be grandparents can go adopt a damn child if they want a young child in their lives so much.
True. It is actually quite selfish of parents to pressure their children to give them grandchildren when there are soooo many children already here on Earth that need a loving home. Instead of adopting, they just apply pressure to their children bc they want the gran to be from THEIR bloodline. That perspective is WAY more selfish in my opinion.
My daughter is 11 and is blessed beyond measure because I bust my azz. But I am a strong advocate of team no kids. Earth is ghetto and scary. The level of stress I have knowing my daughter is out here is crazy. Don’t do it! Don’t do it!
Considering women are the primary caregivers they should have the choice of giving birth or not . Yes men should be involved as well , however women and men if you don’t want to be parents do not allow anyone to pressure you into changing your mind… As for me the answer is no , I’m a dog mom and that’s ok .
God how I wished I had this mentality. It was my ORIGINAL thought but I was talked out of it. I wanted ONE child, no husband. My original plan. I'm 100% behind this sister. I have three daughters: one wants only one child (she had him at 28), my younger two are pet mommies. One said "maybe one day" the other said "absolutely not. I love my furbabies". I have SONS TOO, 9 of them 7v are grown men and of those 7 only 3 are dads and they waited until they were near 30 to create their families. I have a son turning 30 in December and he had a breakup because he refused to give his gf a baby. Imagine, he actually LISTENED to momma when I said, if you don't fertilize her, she can not "trick" you into fatherhood. My children, both sons and daughters, take birth control in their own hands. Simple as that. They don't go around pointing fingers at everyone else for things they have direct control of.
I REMEMBER ASKING as a child why are the childless not given tax incentives for not exhausting natural resources but parents are as earned income credit? I was told it was because the births kept the economy going. 😂😂😂😂
Marriage was a necessity for women in the past, just like children were (labor force, lineage). Also, the women were often treated like property (still are in some cultures today). So, wouldn't it make sense that now independent women no longer want marriage?
My father was abusive racist and absent and tried to k*ll me... He has an aduacidy to claim credit for achievments and then moan about myself and act like he contributed and "raised me" The audacidy of men srsly.... He was abusive and absent Then demands me to submit to him Then tried to k*ll ne cuz didnt submit and worship him.... He was always abusive but claims to be the victim to my mother and us kids... And is shocked i wanna be alone and childless... He legit saw and helped my exes to abuse me..... I tried to get married 16-19 and im done with bs..... People be delulu... And im the mentaly disabled one and im not eaven close to him/my family
Kids are only a blessing if you dream of kids. I am child free but I have noticed that the grandparents that pushed the hardest for grandkids are also the ones that complain really loudly when their kid tries to lean on them for childcare help. Ladies, don’t fall for it. All that pressure is is that old Boomer trope of “if I had to suffer you should too!” That’s exactly what it is they’re just not saying the quiet part out loud. I grew up with a very narcissistic mother, one of the last conversations we had she was telling me she was excited to watch me get old, and she didn’t mean that in a loving I want to grow old with you way. She saying that because I have a chronic illness And I wasn’t fully doting on her because she’s an elderly woman so she was literally telling me she was looking forward to watching me feel worse than I already feel and watching me suffer simply because I wouldn’t wait on her just because she’s an old person. So yeah, that push for grandkids isn’t out of love. They want to see you suffer like they did
Agree to have kids on condition that if they don't pull their weight with finances and childcare, you'll give them up for adoption. Suddenly they FREAK.
Poor parenting isn't as a result of people simply having children they don't want, it is also about not having the proper supports women need when birthing, caring and providing for our children. Bring back the matriarch, move men out of the homes and only date men for temporary companionship not for LOVE or dependence on them.
I get what you're saying. The financial and community stability of a child should not have to depend on if the parents stop "loving" each other and want to break up the child's home.
LET ME TELL YOU A STORY! when I used to live with my husband before we had our kids in an apartment, There was this old senile Woman whom had dementia. Her son was her caretaker, I’m sure he did his best BUT, she would constantly wander around the apartments lost and would use the bathroom in broad daylight in public. She also would try every door handle in the apartment complex (this is why always lock your doors.) People will find her and bring her back to the son. ON CHRISTMAS MORNING The woman walked into somebody else’s apartment, and these black folks who lived on top of us were so kind and understanding but they were scared, and rightfully so because this woman just walked up into their house and she’s unresponsive,(she doesn’t speak.)while they were expecting family to come over. They were on the phone with the police While they were standing on the balcony with the old woman, We saw this and let them know what her deal was and then we took her back to the son. FAST FORWARD to summer we were having a pool party where we rented out the pool and the clubhouse. The woman walked into the party and went straight into the pool with all of her clothes on then proceeded to sit down at someone else’s seat and start eating their plate of food that they had prepared for them self. She’s literally sitting next to my family members and they’re like ummmm who’s this 🧐😂. After she ate we took her back to the son AGAIN. I would get scared she would wander into oncoming traffic or just get lost for good, I felt bad for her because IT WAS OBVIOUS to me that her son was not properly taking care of her. She was always wearing the same clothes looking disheveled and hungry. I used to work at an alzheimer's home and thought she would be MUCH HAPPIER and well taken care of there. It became clear to me that elder abuse is real and just because someone might say that they take care of you does it mean that you’re actually gonna get adequate care. I don’t even think he really cared about his mom, he just wanted her checks.
Tbh i feel bad for the lady but also ehh Its her son who takes her so she cloudv been amazing and he just lazly uses her cuz hes male.. But she cloudnv been a abusive mother and he didnt care cuz of that I mostly think its the male part Iv seen men impregnante women for 200 dollar, not guaranteed goverment child help check The check is to help with childcare cost, but men think its free money for impregnantion Most times the gov doesent give those dumb checks cuz they are lazy eaven thou they made it law to give them monthly to parents Also a lot men workless /or eacen with a job parasite of mothers and sit in their house untill mother dies and demand her to do hes clothes food etc while he does nothing till she dies at 40- 50 then those men go to young wonen to try to groom them to do the same
@@levtieart3409 I feel bad for her too, I really think her son didn’t care… because she would literally be shitting in the middle of the apartment grounds and we would tell him how we found her exposing herself and he would just chuckle and say well thanks for bringing her back. Just no regard for her or the distain people were feeling because no one wants to go to work and see a human ishing infront of them 🤦🏽♀️ and she has dementia so I’m sure she doesn’t even remember her life too well to hold her accountable even if she was a bad mother
Points were made! The gen z males are not ok. I'm 23 with 2 degrees and certifications and I'm seeing males that are bartenders, chick fil a employees and retail associates tryna holla and like bffr. Then they talk about submission when it sounds like they want submissive providers. The men that get it get it. Until that man pursues me and it's mutual then I'll be that til then as of rn it's giving frivolous spending 💰 and being selfish with me and my needs🤷🏿♀️
The same people who say who woill take of you when you're old are the same people who demand their kids take care of them when their old & rattle on about not wanting watch their grandkids because "they've raise their kids & want tonlive their lives" (yet would leave us with their parents to watch us while they went out)
I'm a child free millennial and don't feel pressured. I feel bad for people who do. That said people of all ages are currently dating and it's a struggle for a lot of people.
I’m glad you said this, I’m wondering why this is affecting folks who have already made their choices! You do not have to justify your decisions to anyone and you should laugh in folks faces who try to shame you 😅
I saw my grandmother insult and yell at my parents in her later days. My dad has a big family and not one person helped, I saw the stress and they also said that they don't want to burden me with that, even though I've said that I would help if they need it, even said to use whatever inheritance $$. I'm also an only child. 100% support my childfree decision
My family doesn't pressure me into having children anymore but they used to 20 years ago when I was still a teenager. This is not a good time to have children at all with everything going on in this sick, disgusting, twisted and pathetic world. I have issues with depression and anxiety disorder and mental health is at a huge crisis point for many other people. I'm at an age where people need to leave my sperm alone.
I got rid of my anxiety years ago simply by learning not to care. As for my depression, I got delivered of it by doing self-deliverance in Jesus' mighty name. Being a Christian comes with some great benefits!
I'm 60 years young, have two sons by 2 sperm donors. I love them both, can't imagine my life without them...........yada yada yada, but if I could do this over, I wouldn't have children EVER! Gen Z, I commend you for knowing exactly what you don't want, children will suck you dry until you turn back into dust to dust. Leave them rugrats alone and go live your best life.
The title is so confusing for what? "Gen X father coming for Gen Z daughter for chooing to be childfree" See simple The daddy aint gen z by a LONG shot.
The young lady said a man told her that she would need someone to care for her when she is old. Women statistically outlive men. The chances that a man will care for her when she is elderly is pretty slim.
I feel like people who have a higher standard of parenting are the ones less likely to have kids. You hear people say "I can't even take care of myself, how can I take care of a kid." Then you got people who can't hold down a job, can't maintain stable housing, multiple evictions, bad credit, etc. have multiple kids. What the hell were you thinking? I'm a millennial now raising some other millennial lady's kid b/c I had those standards and she didn't. I don't have any of my own, and I'm fine with that and this situation. But I took the time to invest in myself and am in a much better financial and independent situation, and she's a hobosexual jumping from man to man for free housing because she had kids young for who knows why, and always relied on a man and never bothered to invest in herself so she could provide a good environment and be a good parent. That Gen Zer has actual standards when it comes to parenting.
I do aspire to be a mother someday real soon. But right now the only note I am singing is me!!! 🎶Do, Ra, MEeeee!!!🎶 15:32 I grew up watching women break their backs why would I sign up for that ish WHATS IN IT FOR ME!!? Before my husband and I even begin dating I told him I expect to be taken care of if he expects me to take care of him. And because of my tumultuous childhood I'm not afraid to walk away from literally everything!!!!
DO NOT have kids for someone else! If you don’t want kids let that be you reason to stay child free. Parenting is difficult, painful, expensive, time consuming, draining, and all the good stuff too but depending on the people in your/they’re life, no matter how much you give, how much you love, other people might work against you to turn the children you love so much against you. Or they can grow up and decide they weren’t happy about they way they were raised and want nothing to do you as adults. So having kids thinking they’re going to be there for you is a wrong way of thinking these days. The family that used to be no longer exists so don’t listen to those tropes. You do what’s best for you. What you feel you’re capable or willing to take on.
I know how it's like to take care of an elderly person. Growing up, my father forced our family to live in his childhood home just so he could take care of my great grandmother (his grandma) and our whole lives revolved around her. We had to stay in a ghetto neighborhood because of her, my mother was unhappy because of her(and my dad honestly and the rest of his family tbh), my dad felt trapped because of her(despite refusing to admit it), the opportunities I could've had in life were stifled because we were stuck taking care of her. I don't see myself sending my parents to a nursing home but fortunately my parents are determined to take care of themselves in their old age once they reach it. My father told me when I was very little to not take care of him once he is old. Send him to a nursing home, don't stop my life for him. I think those were the only moments in my life where my father hinted at the fact that he felt trapped taking care of his grandma. Children and grandchildren and great grandchildren are not a retirement plan. We have our own lives and we shouldn't be brought into this world just so you feel comforted by the idea of having someone to take care of you once you're old. Edit: I'm a Gen zer age 25. My mom is a late baby boomer and my father is an early Gen x. My childhood was very unhappy and it does make me wonder if marriage and kids is even worth it, especially as a dark skinned BW
i put my father in adult foster care (a family home) after mom died because hubby and dad did NOT get along at ALL. i visited dad nearly every week to go to lunch and when he was in the hospital visited every day. his caregiver said she never met anyone like me who came to visit so often. we actually became friends.
As a millennial 37 yrs old child free by choice I’m ok with not having kids because I hear too many people butchered and complained about they own kids, they baby mama or baby daddy. Complain about being broke the kids needing this and the kids wanting that. I want my happiness, freedom, peace of mind. If I’m not financially capable of taking care of that child without depending on the government I do want kids
I hate when people say "You can't take any of that stuff with you." Soooo I can't enjoy it now? Especially when I worked for it? I have friends who are in their 20's who are envious of the fact I was a kid in the 80's and a teenager in the 90's. I will say being a teen in the 90's gave me a false impression of my adulthood and I feel screwed.
I'm Gen X, I'm child free by choice and I never married. In 80s I thought we would all die from Nuclear War. Unfortunately it seems that might still happen.. Everyone said I would change my mind when I met the right man. Here's the thing, most men I met during my reproductive years wanted children. Not wanting children was a deal breaker for me, so the relationship never progressed. I'm almost 50 now and I don't regret my choice.
I'm soooo glad to hear another Gen -Xer with my exact thoughts. I have to young adults 24 and 20, and I feel terrible because I only have the emotional and mental space for myself 😪
The world population is higher than ever and its rising. Not everyone needs to be a parent. If you live in a first world country, even more so. We have the privilege of birth control access. We have the privilege to break free of the cycle of endless pregnancies and dozens of kids.
Understand this though, men are not here to accommodate your choices. Men are here to MAKE you choose then for they are designed to terrorize you. I suggest you be ready and strap up.
I'll be 50 this year and I prayed to be child free as a 9 yr old because I had to raise my self and when my 14 yr old sister got pregnant I was punished for it and had to help her with her kids never having the child hood I deserved. It became my life's work taking care of children not having my own on earth
Your dad is giving you a hint. He expects you to take care of him when he is old. That last thing she said. Parents not realizing they really didn't want kids until after they had kids is so true. I never thought I didn't want my babies. I can't imagine my life without them. I have no regrets, and I'm happy with them in my life. I don't understand people who have more than 1 kid that feels that why. Why have more?
I'm a Millennial and I'm raising my 2 daughters, Gen Z and Gen Alpha, to not have children. And if they do, wait until they have accomplished everything they want and traveled where they want. And even then, only have one and go to a sperm bank. LBVS!
"Kids are not blessings, kids are human beings." WELL SAID!!!! People who think another human is a blessing to themselves is definitely thinking of using that person, not caring for him.
Naw, i would say many of the later half of the millennial generation understand what this gen z girl is saying too. I’m a millennial born in the late 80’s. I’m childfree by choice, single by choice and am not interested in marriage. And i’m at peace and happier than ever. Her parents better be glad that she didn’t have a kid and end up being a deadbeat mother. These parents are trying force their adult children to take on responsibilities they know they don’t want to deal with. And it leads to alot kids being neglected, abused and with horrible ptsd and mental health issues as adults.
RIGHT SIS RIGHT!!!!!! #RIGHTTTT 💯 U ARE ON POINT POINT POINT POINT POINT...!!! U SOUND 10000% LIKE ME RN 💯 THIS IS ALLLL I SAY WHEN THE CONVERSATION OF KIDS COME UP.. 🫡 PPL JUST DONT GET IT BUT WE ARE TOTALLY LIVING IN SOME STRnge ass WEIRD ASS TIMES nd it's a TOTALLY A HORRIBLE TIME TO HAVE KIDS!!!! HORRIBLE TIME!!!! DONT RUIN UR KIDS BY BRINGING THEM TO THIS EARTHH!!! ESPECIALLY NOW A DAYS!!!! WE LUCKY WE CAN EVEN MAKE IT OURSELVES RN!!! OPEN YOUR EYES PPL!!! DONT DELUGE YOURSELVES 💯 💯 💯.. GOD BLESS ALLL THE REAL ASS MFS MAN 🙌 GOD BLESS EVERYONE 🙏 AND THATS WHAT IT IS!!!
Parents should tell the truth. ONLY have kids if you want absolutely nothing from that kid in return. I am not saying that in bitterness but in 100% love. Reciprocity is not a part of parenting never go in with that expectation, if it happens *IT IS A BLESSING LIKE NONE OTHER, IMMEASURABLE* However please never, ever, eeeeeeeeever expect this.
Very mature young lady . Nobody thinks about the KIDS. She clearly has critically thinking skills and thought about it and if she was my daughter because technically she could since I’m 39. I’d support her decision. She literally thinks how us mature women with thinking process skills . Everyone regurgitates everything without thinking. After sitting down a few years ago I came to the conclusion that kids would not be a good idea.
Being honest with yourself is the best thing you can do. If you do not want children, then please don't have them. Love, time, patience and sacrifice are synonymous with parenthood especially motherhood. Not wanting children does not make you selfish. You simply want something different for your life. As far as who will take care of you when you get old, the answer is God! Some of us have special needs kids. They may or may not be able to take care of us when we are old.
if I could go back , with all I know now ., I wouldn’t bring any children in this world ., when I was younger , I didn’t like being here ., so much hate and evil 👿 around., feels like , this world could be Hell .,
