I worry about upsetting anyone with this, but I'm autistic and I felt very at home in Germany when I visited. I spend much of my time trying to navigate social niceties where what is said is said on autoresponse. I really DO see being honest as helping someone improve. Being able to communicate and EXPECT honesty from the other person was a gift. It took a major weight off my back. I can't wait to go back and not make smalltalk one day.
I found myself agreeing with your “inner German” with one caveat: There are better and more professional ways to be direct with work colleagues. “…you should have sent me the document by now…When will I get it…” becomes, “That document is needed currently in order to meet our timelines. When can I expect it?”
To me when a German shares things with me and is not superficial I feel valued and trusted. Also criticism never seems to be pointless or spiteful but rooted in the idea you can do better.
Those of us with German mothers didn't appreciate the honesty during childhood. Today, our therapists appreciate the honesty as we visit them frequently. 😊
I am a Brazilian with German descent. In Brazil, when people ask "how are you?" they are usually just being polite and making contact, and not expecting a more precise answer, but with my German background I sometimes was compelled to be truthful in my answer, what could be embarrassing 😂
I have friends that I like a lot, I ask them "how are you" and they will truthfully answer, even being Americans, because they know I care and ask it for a reason. I don't ask strangers "how are you" as a greeting, because it is not a greeting, I can't stand this stupid "Oh I'm good, how about you?" because instead of one lie, you are forced to do 2 lies. Normally you can't trust people that lie to your face, that is just a basic fact. So I say "hi" or "hello", works much better.
Working as a German teacher I often do get the question if Germans are really so direct :D To be honest, I am myself a very direct person and I know a lot of other Germans who are also quite direct, but of course there are also Germans who are not direct at all. In general I believe that it has a lot to do with cultural norms. I guess in Germany a lot of people see being direct as a way of honesty and respect. At the same time this honesty can sometimes be a bit difficult to deal with especially when people give very direct criticism.
Well, I am not German but I find it obvious if the food does not taste good, you should say it so politely. If someone asks you how are you, maybe you should not tell them your whole life, but you should not also fake it and say things are fabulous, you can just say things are OK. Nothing rude at all, it is all about how you say things and not what you say.
The thing with “how are you” and the detailed answer is not true everywhere in Germany. Here in North Rhine-Westphalia, for example, there are extreme differences: if you ask a Rhinelander "how are you" he usually answers "fine (juut)", if you ask a Westphalian he takes a deep breath and starts to give an all-encompassing answer!
In that case it might help to find a better one and exchange it, or the woman is resilient and says : it doesn't matter if you like it or not, I love it and wear it. Thats honesty. Thats how Germans handle that question . A lie is not helping.
I am 100% direct and blunt at work and at home; restaurants somewhat less so honestly. However that DOES lead to some serious issues here in the US ....
Spot on!!! I hardly bother to lie anymore, it's also about growing self-confidence as one grows older. Sad most people aren't more polite though while being honest! Ppl don't care about what others think that much, or don't take the effects into consideration.And yes, cheating and destroying long-term relationships is now a pastime here too, like it already was in Scandinavia decades ago 🥴
It's a bit of an issue - especially since I moved to Missouri. It isn't the deep US South, but folks still generally expect a bit more bush beating at the very least. I had some very rocky co-worker interactions because of my lack of pretense (or my lack of social skills, or both....) There's a reason they're called co-irkers. 😜
...snd it is s good characteristic to be honest. Also a fast way to find true friends and to know who is one ore not worth your time. Stay honest. Pretending is mostly not worth it. And good people will find to value you higher over time.
I'll see you soon...?? Ahhh... I'll let you know... 😂😂 I do prefer the Direct and honest approach though. It stings for a minute and one can improve things. Much better than festering lies for a long time and encouraging undesirable things in the name of politeness.
I'm German Canadian and if a German in a German Restaurant suggests that "Etwas zu viel Salz" in a meal, it might lead to a conflict not seen since June 1914 when a Serbian Nationalist working as a Sous Chef at the Sacher Hotel was told, rather bluntly, by member of Archduke Franz Ferdinand's dinner party that his schnitzel's sodium levels were above the requirements of civilized taste buds so he carried a grudge to Sarajevo...
Having German genetics from my origin, I still struggle coping up with direct speech which is regarded as rude by the Asians.😢 But as my grandpa says, being honest is the best rather sugarcoating!
It is kinda insane and stupid to ask as question "how are you" and expect a totally predictable answer that never changes, even if it is wrong, what it the point of it then? Just save the time and don't ever use it. How crazy is it to ask a question and then not want an answer to it?
You know, living in the USA and being originally from Germany, I always perceived Americans to be even more direct and outspoken, because it was originally a frontier country, really tough to survive and I have seen examples of where Americans will actually think you are false and dishonest when you are polite about something that they would expect you telling the truth. Diplomacy and being polite can be seen as being two faced. Politeness and not telling the truth in order not to upset somebody is called "saving face" in asia and if very important to keep, as open conflict is extremely disruptive in societies that have a high population density. In America, you have a ton of space and when somebody insults you or you don't get along them them, you have plenty of space to avoid them. So Germany being more direct kinda does not make any sense. Is it maybe an issue of generations? That today many Americans are "snowflakes", over sensitive and can't take anything negative anymore? This was predicted in the great movie Demolition Man, where people become so "weak" that they can't even tolerate body contact and instead of high fives or shaking hands, they just over their hands a few centimeters away from the other person for a greeting. Also euphemisms have been taking over, instead of somebody dying, you call it "he passed on" or crash or collision is called "making contact" which means absolutely nothing (because ambiguous and therefore meaning 6 different things, all not what you associate with a crash) Look for george carlin euphemisms on youtube and you will see what I mean, it makes words soft and meaningless, instead of just saying what actually happened.
Honesty makes perfect sense to me 😀 but then I am a hard German, don't ask me what I think you most likely get an answer you don't like, I won't tell you I like something that I don't like
@@dweuromaxx on the contrary, i find the honesty & directness ensures not having to second guess one's feelings or motives, i never have to wonder... as an artist (musician, writer, cartoonist; album coming out soon), i must always be honest in my work & life, and it is refreshing to see a peoples that appreciate honesty, directness & not beating around the bush!
@@dweuromaxx not really, my daughter didn't get it for a long time but my son understands it really well and ignores it, I have a friend for over 40 years and she understands it as well and doesn't get her feelings hurt, most people like the truth
Everything about this series is great EXCEPT that they speak way too much English. To the camera would be fine, but the conversation “scenes” should be kept in German and subtitled. It’s odd. Und ich wollte damit nur ehrlich sein!
This is universal across all DW productions outside of Germany. Any interesting program containing interviews with someone speaking a language other than English (even German) are always mouthed over so you can't even hear the original - extremely annoying. Maybe its a secret American plot to make the whole world monolingual...
Oh yes, we are very direct with our bosses and don't worry brushing an elbow with them. After all we work towards a common goal. And our laws secure our workplace. I have many a good sparring games where my boss and I disagree. We still value each other's position and learn.
You can easily see the empathic people and the ones that really don't care, by how they react. You can also find out if somebody is incredibly shallow and superficial.
Probably bc thats what you say in English . But I think she meant , if you do not want truly to know how some one is doing, do not ask a German . A German assumes you are interested to know how he/she is truly doing. In Germany we ask this question, but it is meant also to know and to listen, unless this rude shown behavior by her (making ugly faces, bc she does not know the German rules and is disrespecting) here in the video ❗️. Unlike in some other cultures. I consider Germans as nice and helpful. Had a ton of very good experiences there. A friend is a friend and not a pretend.
Just like "How do you do", respond in kind. I remember once working in f&b how a young Ami responded to my Guten Tag by asking me how my day was going. I was completely caught off-guard as I hadn't expected any verbal interaction, except for him asking for a table. My stutters made him wonder. Very awkward. All these extra sentences the Americans use.😅
I appreciate the honest and direct ways us Germans have, however there are a few things that can be improved upon. "The food was too salty" is too objective. "It's too salty for MY taste" would've been better. "Why haven't I got the document yet?" is also a stupid thing to ask because no one cares for the answer. Just leave it out.
Not true. Generalizing is always a mistake. And I have met bitter people in America , but also mice ones. It's everywhere like that good, bad, sweet, sour, nasty to nice, people are people.
Meine große Widersacher Zielgruppe waren bisher stets zufällig Omas im Alter von 60 bis 70, Besserwisser mit Sendungsbewusstsein, die einem auf der Straße unbedingt erklären müssen, warum man etwas falsch macht, und sei es noch so unwichtig. Inzwischen warte ich schon fast sehnsüchtig auf solche blöden Kühe. Und merke dabei, wie ich selbst pedantischer werde 😂😂😂
Yes this video is very hurtful just the thought of a German keeping it real with me is causing me to know truth and its extremely offensive. The German people must stop all this honesty at once. Regards- Snowflake Westerner.🙂🙃🤪😊
Warum soll es eigentlich unhöflich sein, ehrlich und direkt zu sein? Definieren wir in unserem Land und unserer Kultur nicht selbst, was als höflich gilt und was nicht? Müssen wir uns nun wegen Globalisierung und Willkommenskultur auch noch anglo-amerikanischen Wertvorstellungen unterwerfen?
Weil man direkt sein kann und höflich dazu. Man muss ja nicht die eigene Lebensfrust anderen als Girlande umhängen. Viele Menschen in Teilen unseres Landes glauben zusammen mit der Direktheit auch alle Manieren ad acta legen zu dürfen, und da ist auch die Grenze des guten Benehmens nach unseren ureigensten Maßstäben dann erreicht. Unsere eigenen Großeltern hätten uns eine gepaddelt dafür. Man lerne mal von den Hanseaten oder Kölnern, wie man beides kombinieren kann. Apropos, je nach Gesellschaftsschicht merkt man ja auch die Unterschiede gewaltig, leider. Es gibt selten so schnodderige und patzige Antworten wie von lebensfrustierten Verkäuferinnen 😂