Why every time they seem to forget men don't have incentive to be married in today's age. Once you sign that document you are at the mercy of the family court system. Why does no one talk about changing the laws??? Take the state out of marriage.
Well, at least in my country u can get married by the church without any commitment to the state, the civil wedding is where one signs a document, I think one can still only be married in the church and have a good marriage
Sure, *adopt* responsibility. Having children *creates* responsibility where there used to be none. That‘s because it creates *needs* where there used to be none.
Greatful that I learned this now that I am 25. All these years all I wanted to was to improve my career and never cared about long term relationships and children. Now I know how iimportant it is for me, as a woman. God bless you, Jordan!
It might be important to you as a woman, but I assure you it will be far less important to a similar-age man, that's because women now have all the eggs in their basket, both literally and metaphorically!
@@andrewlilley3660 You have no idea what you are talking about mate. Men might be able to postpone children specifically, but the responsibility of intimate relationships is just as important for both genders. And also, being able to have children later in life does not mean that you > should < have children later in life
@@victorsoaresdealmeida6688 You've completely missed the point, which is, that you're as wrong as wrong can be. She has to find some sucker that would want to take her on first. It may have escaped your notice, but marriage for young men, in particular, has become a minefield. For young men, the juice is not worth the squeeze! By the way, there is no responsibility required for an intimate relationship, intimacy is born of trust, not responsibility. Intimacy lasts about as long as the first child's appearance if they are lucky, and then struggle takes the wheel. The last thing modern relationships are is intimate, married or otherwise, the woman generally hops from one partner to another bringing her fatherless brood along with her! Open your eyes, and look around you because you know that what I have stated is the norm. Not the starry-eyed Mary Poppins version of the world you've presented. Do you know who is the greatest example of the kind of woman I'm talking about? Well, it's none other than, Miss Can't keep her knickers on, Mikhaila Peterson. If you going to tell someone they don't know what they are talking about, at least know what you're talking about first, thanks.
@@victorsoaresdealmeida6688 Well, clearly I have a much better grip on reality than you. With you're Mary Poppins starry-eyed outlook. Please, count how many of these responsible intimate young couples you know. Then wait until the first child makes an appearance, then see how many are still with the same partner, a couple of years later. What you will find is that the mother has usually upgraded to the next better proposition. She takes her fatherless brood along with her to the next sucker. Meanwhile, Baby Daddy is getting mauled by the system and having to finance the upbringing of the children which he now has little to no access to. The irony of all this is the best example available is none other than Petrson's Daughter, and here he is preaching to all you gullible ones Be very careful just who you open the door to, you might just get sold a farm, hahaha.
From a social and moralistic perspective I agree with most of his points. But from a modern legal perspective as a man, I’m not interested in marriage.
Remember the wonderful work of priests and nuns who are celibate. Mrs. Peterson should be aware of this. Not everyone has a vocation of marriage. There are different vocations in this life.
Absolutely right. Not everyone has the same needs and marriage is one need that doesn’t apply. Life is different for everyone! And that’s why it’s so interesting!!
The story about Tammy's plight is such a visceral illustration of the importance of children and family. I think a lot of hedonistic people that orient their lives around fostering their own self-interest believe that money and material possessions will override the need for social belonging, but no one laying on their deathbed wants to take their last breath alone.
Everybody takes their last breath alone. Money is also needed to start a family. Only people who already have money will go on about the insignificance of money. Peterson himself deeply cares about money.
Some are not cut out for marriage or for raising children. No one should be pressured to do either of these things. This is how we create miserable people. People need to be responsible AND empowered to make wise decisions. For some, the responsible thing to do is to avoid marriage and/or raising children. People strong enough to know their limits and capabilities should be supported and applauded.
I disagree. If one of these incompetent people decided to set this as their goal and follo through with it voluntarily to the best of their ability, I have no doubt they would be forged into a stronger and wiser person i nt he face of the challenge. Nobody is ever ready. The miserable ones are those who fell into the situation blindly, accidentally or unconsciously
@@somechrisguy it takes more than goal setting and follow through. Marriage and children are not items on a to do list to check off. They are lifelong commitments. You will find many people who are not appropriate marriage partners/parents in this life. Their damage is real. Do not inflict this on yourself or your future children.
@@ginaweith9475 I don’t see what the point is you’re trying to make. All we can comment on is the intention of one individual. If a man decides that having a family is his goal, but his woman is not appropriate, then he will leave her and find a woman who is. And vice verca. This is how it all boils down to your goal/aim. All the decisions you need to make each day will be informed by your goal. And to the individuals who are so incompetent and incapable of having a kid/family- if they were to set this as their highest goal, they would need to sort their life out in order to achieve the goal. The only reason it would go sideways is if service to the ideal was not the highest goal. The minute that materialism, hedonism, addiction, “freedom” becomes the highest goal, it is indeed doomed for failure.
@@somechrisguy I’m not so sure it has to do with competence but desire itself. Those who want to become parents probably should, as this itself is evidence that they will likely become a great parent. If one does not have a desire to have children, and if they succumb to the societal pressure anyway, then these people are likely to become bitter and resentful about being a parent. To the OP point, not everyone is equipped to be parents in this way. Do not give in to the pressure if it’s not something you genuinely desire
More power to Tammy getting over Cancer. I did too years ago. Your health is the most important thing. And not being in pain. Yes a family can come in different ways. Work family, friends family. I honestly think that faith definitely helps. It works!
Pitching the idea of marriage and having kids to everyone is just not right. Some people are fundamentally unable to have any of those without making life a living hell for everyone involved. And I think admitting that you're unfit to be a good a spouse and/or a good parent is a sign of rare maturity. Admitting facts even if they're painful.
This! And not only some people are unfit for different reasons, also many people are not even interested in having a romantic relationship to begin with, let alone getting married. Many ones don't want to have kids, or are unable to have them, or are more than busy caring for other relatives like parents, grandparents, siblings, nephews/nieces. People can have different interests, life goals and are also affected by personal circumstances. Mr Peterson is being oblivious to these obvious facts and incredibly reductionist in his speech. It's mind blowing.
Admitting that you would be an unfit spouse or good parent means you have some serious work to do with your life, cause if thats the case you would also be an unfit Friend. hardly a characteristic of "maturity" not even close
I disagree. If one of these incompetent people decided to set this as their goal and follow through with it voluntarily to the best of their ability, I have no doubt they would be forged into a stronger and wiser person in the face of the challenge. Nobody is ever ready. The miserable ones are those who fell into the situation blindly, accidentally or unconsciously
Now that i've seen (and lived) both sides, i can say that being married and being a father is much more fulfilling than being free of responsibility. But i also know more than a few families that broke apart and i think being divorced and being forced to be an absent or semi-absent father is probably worse than never getting married in the first place. It's a risk. I can fully understand anyone who is reluctant to take it.
@crayonnnnnnn If I understand what you're saying, I agree. As a collective, it is necessary for a majority of humans to procreat if we want our species to continue. But, it is not necessary or desirable for every person to have children. There are lots of reasons why.
The youth go through 12 years of math classes but not a single class on the skills needed to build relationships. You are expected to learn that on your lunch break.
After over 10 years on self-improvement, the number one thing I’ve come to understand is that I am most disciplined, strong, fulfilled, loving, and present, when everything I do is an expression of a healthy self worth. I have nothing to prove, not even to myself. I realise that I am worthy of my own honour and respect, and that of others. If I’m not treating myself in the best way to honour the highest side of myself, or I’m allowing others to treat me badly, then something is off. I honour the passions and purposes I feel called toward by diligently working toward them. I work on myself everyday and reap the rewards, not because I need to so I can feel good about myself, but because guess what, I’m worth it. I deserve to be happy, healthy and prosperous, so do you.
My sister and brother-in-law have three kids. Me and my parents help raise them when they need assistance. Seeing them grow, then smiling and telling they love us, is more meaningful than any career path I can go or achieve. I don’t have a wife, and I don’t know if there is a woman that would love me that way, but if it does happen, providing and raising a family is a cross worthy to bear.
You will find her. You believe in it and she will find you. Having a supportive partner is better than a successful career. Kids are icing on the cake however having that special person in your life is the best thing
I was wanting to be a family man when I was younger. But after a lot of dates over many years and women always telling me that I didn't meet their requirements, I just gave up. I'm 5'8", a 5 in looks, and $50k income. Now I just work on my business and investments and getting things ready for my future retirement. Anyone who says "they will come along when you aren't looking" is lying and living in a fairy tale. I have a lot of responsibility in my life anyway, I have a successful small business, I have a number of passive income streams, I keep myself busy creating.
Men build, construct, anaylize and observe information, they also have a functional b.s. detector, and they hunt and gather. The intellectual thinkers out there, generally have some form of methodical advisement, however, the one size fits all approach often has unanticipated deminishing returns. I find it arbritary to think institutionalized marriage, is all cracked up, as it's meant to be? I find it also interesting, with regards towards someone like Dr. JP often makes the assertion in his lectures, that humans are Complicated. I was always taught by an Amazing Father, who got divorced from a bias feminist, hidden territorial mother, that the cold hard math is. In my Fathers word's, Men still need to be able too,Think, not feel, Take action not reflection. And religious philosophy that's proposed by usually, Self Reflected individuals, are completely out of touch with reality. Jason B. Lincoln, Nebraska
@@lemonjuice6177I wouldn’t say it’s his fault , granted he is sharing his current experience with dating and meeting someone and it so far it hasn’t lined up with the stories he has heard. I do think at some point just the business a line won’t be enough to satiate him and the desire to have other responsibilities or “live” other aspects of what life has to offer will arise.
Dr. Peterson, what sex are you addressing this sermon to? Are you talking to women or to men? Because there are colossal differences in the societal expectations put on both sexes on western society for the past 150 or so years. And who are you asking to get married and have children and adopt responsibility. Because it's not the men who were left off the hook in that regard...
Why would any man want to get married when the family court system is rigged against him? One argument and she walks away with your home, most of your assets and your children. Some new guy raises your kids and you might see them once a month for a weekend if you are lucky. No, change the laws to give fathers equal rights in family court or avoid marriage altogether.
1 Corinthians 7:32-35 (NLT) 32 I want you to be free from the concerns of this life. An unmarried man can spend his time doing the Lord’s work and thinking how to please him. 33 But a married man has to think about his earthly responsibilities and how to please his wife. 34 His interests are divided. In the same way, a woman who is no longer married or has never been married can be devoted to the Lord and holy in body and in spirit. But a married woman has to think about her earthly responsibilities and how to please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your benefit, not to place restrictions on you. I want you to do whatever will help you serve the Lord best, with as few distractions as possible.
How is the absolute enslavement of men via divorce law since 1970 not a topic of discussion and the effects its had on marriage. Women used to have consequences for destroying their marriage. Now they are rewarded.
I want this more than anything else but I can’t have it because of “shear inability”. My burdens in life are too great at the moment but maybe someday. I just hope it won’t be too late.
Depending on what tasks you still have to do in life, it is probably better to keep your hands off some things. When angels fuck mortals, bad children may come out of it^^
@@svenboelling5251 i’m a little confused about what your getting at. I need to become healthy enough to provide for a family and somehow figure out a career from nothing.
@@majanielsen2480 Having and raising children is a career. Or maybe better said, it's a job, or a calling, and if you're not 100% on it, maybe sociopaths will come out as a result. That's what I meant, either you commit yourself to it, you have the time and the energy, or you should let it be. If you have too many other things on your mind that need to be done, then just do this first. In the end, there shouldn't be the realization that you brought shit into the world. That's brutally said, but that's what life is all about, that you don't have to recognize exactly that in the end? And with that I just wanted to address the possibility that other things might be more important in the long run.
Something to consider: countless people everywhere across history have been having kids in circumstances most likely much worse than yours. They didn't or couldn't wait for things to be perfect. I'm sure it wasn't easy, but somehow they found a way to make it work. And for the most part, their kids didn't regret being born. I'm not saying if or when you should have kids. That's up to you to decide. I don't know what you should do, and svenboeilling5251 doesn't either.
@@GodSoLoved.Yeshua You do realize that people do not magically become responsible once they have children? If they don't want children, they'll end up resenting them and treating them like a burden.
“Not as they should be”? What do you mean by “should be”? Not everyone has to have kids. Not everyone has to _want_ kids. It’s simply part of being human.
@@hwtvi3466 the world is extremely broken and sees children as terrible burdens… and also there are people who would make terrible parents because they abusive and self centered. I guess I am saying that the world isn’t as it should be. A lot more people would naturally want kids if they hadn’t been neglected or abused but that isn’t the reality because we seem to live in a culture of abuse.
I don't think just because you can have a family that you should. This is why there are so many bad parents out there, that let's their kids do whatever they want, or bad behaving parenting themselves. Even in the Bible it encourages us to stay single(Paul teachings), so in this day and age its actually more sensible to grow old, stay single and be commit to God, that to get married and have a family.
One judgement that feels like a thousand is a judge of a husband and the feeling of honor and respect of the gift of respects of honor in being set apart by love. A friend in one another, counterparts! ❤
Finding hope in a child’s eyes, your needed as a parent. Because the love you have for your child to make him want that love in the eyes to stay. And her faith of prayer and expectations! Beautiful
Jordan seems to be living in the past. Sure, most men want to get married, but the legal system and women's attitudes and behavior towards men has made marriage too dangerous for a man's future. Until the justice system changes, marriage is a no go.
Responsible adult with responsibilities and no kids, wouldn't have it any other way. And those who never wanted children should definitely not be pressured into that lifelong responsibility.
Dr. Peterson. I understand that this advice is the best for people across the board, however it would be encouraging if you affirm the actual exceptions of a meaningful life of single people. Because it really isn't true, and it makes no sense that marriage is the correct moral path for every person, and you should acknowledge that. Otherwise the unmarried are left with no moral path or affirmation and that is wrong. I take your words as warning, but you would do well to affirm that it isn't chastisement.
Ive has 3 long relationships in my life all ended after all of them cheated, now the idea of marriage is over for me can you imagine if i get married and then the new one cheats oh hell no, not taking risks, im 30 now i work out have a stable job, ride a motorcycle im happy, not gonna take any risks with women, im happy staying away from them
If people believe in an afterlife, in having a spirit why would they be so concerned with what people do here on Earth unless it threatens their own free will? Additionally if you believe everything is predetermined why are you wasting your time? People learn, experience their truth differently and it's their prerogative to live it. Sharing your truth is one thing, being critical is another.
Before you set marriage as the aim.of.your life, do some.research into HG Tudor's work on narcissism. His work will help you learn the danger signs of a toxic.relationship, avoid one and marry someone decent. I like a lot of what JBP says but he needs to make it clearer that no marriage is better than a bad one.
Dont tell people to get married, they'll judge themselves by their inability to find a wife - its something mostly outside of your control, you cant judge yourself by things outside of your control.
I have responsibility to not take on others responsibility! As I says in Galations somewhere. But if you were not shown as a child to look after yourself you end up not knowing your needs and what is not your responsibility. I'm surprised at you Jordan for ignoring the nuances of this debate.
We are all wrong . Only God is right. Let's learn to hear God . He longs to be heard by all of us. Jordan is not God and is not backing up his speech with any scripture. If there's no scriptural backing from the Words of Jesus, I'm not doing it bro. FORGET!
I'm sorry, I wouldn't do what I did 44 years ago in this day and age. I did marry a welfare Mom with two bastards and raised them and my own son as my own only to be kicked to the curb by them and social services. I totally disagree about being a responsible adult male in todays' society. Useless expenditure of gametes.
What if I really enjoy being single ? I really enjoy it . Marriage isn’t for everyone ;companionship is not for everyone; relationship isn’t for everyone . Everyone is different .
I realized from this clip that trying to have a family, live a life of meaning, etc., is only an important endeavor if you fear death or the effects of your death for others (exemplified by Tammy's cancer experience). If you don't, there's no urgency and you simply live in the present. It's quite interesting and makes me think of how our communities would have evolved if humans lost the capacity to fear death.
You are mistaken it’s not the fear of death, but the will and desire to live an interesting and exciting life in spite of the suffering present in life. Fear of death might keep you alive but the will to live will ensure you live beautifully and not live a shrivelled up existence.
Maybe women will actually start trying to choose better partners if child support and alimony are abolished. Choices and consequences….sounds like healthy boundaries. Women might actually stop sleeping around with terrible men if they knew there was real consequences and just maybe they would stop destroying their marriages. Obviously not all marriage failures are women’s fault but I believe most are. Thats been my life experience and stats don’t lie.
No it’s stupid to tell men not to, and to continue in their own selfish ways, what’s the alternative, meaningless sex and hooking up with strangers, being an overgrown boy? How dare he suggest marriage and building a family. Most women will not marry a man who doesn’t have their shit somewhat together, they damn sure won’t have children with them. So maybe marriage implicitly telling men to become men and get their lives together
I'm 41 and am not or have never been married, nor do I have any children. Not because I have never been able to or that I have an aversion to it, but simply because the overwhelming majority of women are not women in "modern" Canada. I don't mean they are not literally women (I guess some actually aren't these days, lol) but in the context that they are not women in the Biblical sense. Typically, if you are lucky enough to come across one of these actual women.... They are very likely already married.
I feel sorry when I hear of a state that Canada and western world is in where you can forget about a traditional marriage, where you can forget of normalcy I guess. It's like a disease that will spread throughout the whole modern world soon.
Even if you are graced to find a virtuous maiden (hopefully still a virgin), you still have this corrupt antichrist society fighting against you and against Holy Mother Church! We need a holy order of Knights to take the corruption down at once temporarily and restore Christendom for a time then will be a time for holy marriages and holy families! Or maybe I’m wrong and it’s the other way around. I don’t know. God’s will be done though!
Id would argue that you're more responsible for having the self-awareness of knowing that you're not in a sufficient enough place mentally and / or financially to raise children. While i do think having families is important and should be discussed with optimism, i dont believe that means everyone should, no matter what, attain that. Am i missing something? I dont think thats insane to conceptualize. Some people will, and some won't . Doesn't mean the ones that won't are selfish.
His content about discipline, resilience and perseverance is a gold mine, his obsession with social control mechanisms quite repulsive. It‘s none of his business if people are getting married or having children. Purpose is a personal choice…not a Dr. Peterson’s dictation. In this case: when self-proclaimed superiority goes wrong…
I'm the perfect example. I'm 36 and divorced. I have 3 kids with two women. Im educated. I work hard. Look okay. Lol. etc. Both my baby mommas got kids with other men. We're all smart, and the romance was good in both relationships. I think it's the downward spiral of less God and Love and more of the world (i.e., self-centeredness, selfishness, less empathy, insensitivity to trauma because of mass shootings, police killings, etc.) I mean, look at the world! Higher rates of divorce and single parenting go hand in hand with higher rates of everything else: mental health issues, sexual orientation, violence, drug abuse, etc. Which, of course, goes hand and hand with SOCIAL MEDIA, AI, and TECHNOLOGY. People have totally replaced actual human interaction with their iPhones. Instead of being in touch with the people right next to you, you touch your phone. Duh. We know what the problem really is we just love the way it is and our phones too much to admit it.
Shame on you for shaming men into marriage by insinuating the unmarried are useless!! Have you read divorce law since 1970s no fault divorce? Do you have a clue what a divorce will do to a man?
@@BigPhil2024We still don’t know ‘why we should do these things’. Marriage and children are generally not a “meaning to sustain you in the face of suffering“, quite the reverse, they are apt to make your suffering even more bitter.
@@BigPhil2024I'm a 28 this year and I have some thoughts about this. I do want children in the future because I want to give them the love, care and attention that I never got from my own parents growing up. Maybe I'm just projecting or deluded in my own justification. But one thing I'm sure of is that I have a lot of love to give and I hope I'm able to find a partner in life who is on the same page as me. That being said, I most certainly am able to see the opposite side of the argument. There are over 7 billion people on this planet. People with different cultural, financial and social backgrounds will all have different reasons as to why they want or don't want children. Neither are right or wrong and it's definitely not a black and white matter. Lastly, Peterson's idea of adopting responsibility being solely fixed on having kids and raising a family is deeply flawed. What is responsibility? There are a multitude of ways I can think of to take up responsibility that does not include breaking the condom. Getting a pet, being mindful of your neighbour's and/or local community's welfare, taking care and providing for your parents as they get older, being here for your friends and loved ones, etc. All these are different forms of responsibility. And if I'm wrong, then I'd like Dr. Peterson to define the word responsibility.
Not everyone is meant to get married and that’s ok. Not everyone is meant to have children, some may not even be physically able to. Others may not be able to adopt or prefer not to and that’s ok. I do not believe God intended everyone do the same exact thing in life. Each as their own purpose that may or may not include marriage.
Thanks jordan i will stop being usless, Only problem is i cant find a job i cant find a partner, society is only giving me shit but i will keep trying until i find that damn job thats a start at least to something positive in my life.
Wow. I admire JP greatly and have watched him talk on many sociological topics and always wholeheartedly agreed with him and learnt a lot from him. But this time, I do not agree with him at all. I believe this is a rather narrow and presumptuous view. You do NOT need to be a parent and have a family to have responsibility and meaning in your life. Nor is my life a catastrophe. Nor am I so weak-minded that I need such a 'web of support'.
@@noemidemelo8959 well considering she has her own videos and social media with her own stupid talking point, we could address her idiocy all by herself. would accomplish the same thing.
There is nothing honorable, let alone good, about taking on responsibility that is not accompanied by rewards that are commensurate with that responsibility. Don't take on the responsibility of slaying the dragon, saving the virgin, getting the gold, and sharing it with the community when there is no gold, there is no virgin, and the community worships the dragon. Until the risks are reduced and the rewards are increased with marriage, any man who marries is willfully being exploited.
Having children is the best thing of my life. If I would have not have my daughter and my son my life would have no meaning at all. In the USA a lot of people do not have children, especially white people. When you die you do not take your money and properties. I work in the medical field I have witnessed so many situations of different things and one of them is people who do not have children. We had someone with six million dollars cash in the bank and properties in Georgetown neighborhood in NW DC 85 y/o never had children long story short when this person die he did not take a penny with him all that money went to the government. Have children is the meaning in life... it is not easy but it is all worthy. My daughter has given two precious grandsons.
This is actually not true, 50% divorce rate is amongst non-Christians or non-practising Christians, the divorce rate for devoted practising Christians is a lot lower, it was 33% divorce rate(the last time I found out which was about 7-9 years ago), I don't know what it is now, whether it has increased or decreased.
Telling people to increase population is insane. We doubled in 100 years from 4-8 billion. And the strain on resources nearly wiped oil and forests altogether. Gates has said ideal population is around a billion. He's probably right. One of the very few intelligent things we've done in recent times is not having kids, inducing population decline. It's crazy how we can recognize the characteristics of invasive species who do moderate damage to eco systems but not recognize our tendencies to overpopulate as the same.
„We doubled in 100 years …“: I think it’s even worse. ‚ _The global human population reached 8.0 billion in mid-November 2022 from an estimated 2.5 billion people in 1950_ ‘ (source: United Nations‘ website). That means that in roughly 70 years, the world population has tripled.
