Getting Along with Strong-Willed People - Cynthia Tobias 

I prayed for help and here it is.

I am strong willed.....and have had a life long of struggles......not ever reconizing-admitting how large my participation played with my-in my difficult life.....i wish i have had these TOOLS much earlier......my parents lacked communication skills and they passed on these deficiencies unto us......These SKILLS ought to TAUGHT AT SCHOOLS AT A YOUNG AGE......how many lives we would improve....how many conflicts lessened.....how much violence avoided!!! So much rencor, ressentment saved......SAD SO SAD few in the education and Police, Armed Forces, Intelligence sectors have missed these opportunities!!!!

True immaturity shows in rebellious attitudes. Conflict resolution doesn’t mean placating swp.

I am raising 6 strong willed boys, married one, and I am one. 😂 I love this talk, I see the light, finally!!

“You may be right.” Is my way of ending a discussion for another time.

Cynthia’s book completely changed my life. As a homeschool mom, it was so instrumental in healing my relationships with my children and allowing me to recognize who I was and who my children were and how to make those work together. BEAUTIFUL 💕 Thank you so so much!

Oh. When the government and media was telling me what we had to do regarding Covid, I became defiant. I’m glad to be strong-willed. I obey God’s Will, no other.

I raised a strong willed child and it was rough! I read ALL the books, but I never found them helpful. I think tone of voice and word phrasing are THEE MOST important tips I've ever heard. I don't remember reading that in those books.

I found out while raising my strong willed son that “Do you know why we do it this way?” Worked so much better than “I told you to do it this way!”

I have a difficult coworker, who definitely qualifies as a SWP. I let myself get angry and reacted to her when she was being ridiculous toward me and I don’t want to lose my power with her the next time because I lost my cool and my negative reaction was my own fault. It did not make the situation better so next time, and I know there will be, I will pause, and I will definitely react differently. Thank you for sharing this! I do pray for her, but I’m going to pray about how to react the next time.

This was great. I usually flee confrontation, the Spirit is giving me new tools and I thank Him for adding this!

She said, "check your tone" and am like, "I can't even get myself to say a word at that point. My heart will be beating 1000 times more"

11-11-22 from Riverside California. I needed to here this. It's going to help me. I will need to listen to this ALOT, OVER & OVER. I need healing and deliverance. I want to be a blessing to others

Fantastic!!! I'm a school bus driver, and I'm definitely going to use all these suggestions, with my students AND my coworkers!!! Haha! And I'm going to definitely tell that joke!

Thank you Lord for sending me this fantastic lecture. ❤

My first thought upon hearing Mrs. Tobias was, “A certain tone of voice can alienate a strong willed person??? Well, excuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me!!!!” (Hands on my hips!) However, maybe all she is saying is that SWPs have a very deep sense of human dignity, which I can appreciate. I truly believe that we should ALWAYS honor another person’s human dignity. In fact, I think we should be as protective of another’s dignity as we are of our own! Now, THAT one thing, right there-mutual honor-would resolve ALL, (so-called) race, class, and gender issues!!! 😊❤🥰

This lady was awesome just what I needed to hear n the delivery was great n she was soft spoken and funny

I read "The Way They Learn" by this brilliant woman. It helped me homeschool my son so effectively. Thank you. (That was many years ago)

I'm an SWP and so are my kids. This was definitely helpful in making me aware of my own behaviors and in understanding those same behaviors in my children

I do feel at some point as Christians the FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT should kick in.

What a beautiful human being!! 🙏🏼🙌🏼☝🏼

Fantastic. She nailed the qualities of an SWP. They really are go getters. This is very helpful information.

It's your tone that kept me following through with this very informative video to the end. Much blessings. Thank you.🌻

You just explained myself to me.

I struggle this was on a Christian podcast. Esp when you’re talking about the Holy Spirit. I’m SWP… and it’s been a lifelong fight to walk in humility, esteem others more than myself… try to live the 1 Corinth 13 way. The work has to be done in MY heart… not by others learning to deal with me. As a coping mechanism with other SWP children or people.. just brilliant! Very useful and insightful … and I will def try to apply it. But I wouldn’t expect to have to apply this to a mature Christian. Puzzled by ‘ the gift of sarcasrn? From a youth with a cutting tongue , I was told it’s the lowest form of wit, but as a growing Christian? It’s no ‘gift’… It’s a fruit of the flesh.

Heard this about 6 months ago NEED TO LISTEN AGAIN

WoW! youtube has been “reading my mail”. Nice prompt youtube … you listened to the Holy Spirit. I love “Poke us in the Family”. I listened to Focus on the Family on the radio for decades. I recorded the programs on cassette tapes to listen a second and third time. And gave them to others.

If it hadn't been for focus on the family in the '80s I wouldn't have had any parenting skills at all. I never knew they had a RU-vid channel. Pleasant surprise

“Why do I have to conform to you?” “You don’t. You can be miserable.” I love the relational tone and the encouragement rather than shutting down communication. The laughter in the crowd shows just how well this lesson connected, thank you very much Cynthia!!! ❤️ I just bought your book “A Woman of Strenth and Purpose”… I appreciate you!

Thank you with all my heart. Your personality sounds so much like mine. I needed to laugh and giggle and realize when I'm dealing with the swp's in my life, including my perceptions and how I want others to work with me. Your sarcasm is so sweet compared to some people's sarcasm I know. Your sarcasm is not pointed abusive but informative, funny and straight forward. 😄

This was one of my favorite broadcast you guys have done!

I enjoyed the message. Simply message but powerful! I haven't missed my baby milk..I have enjoyed the meat of God's Word❤

Assertive vs. Strong-willed A strong-willed person can have unjust or unethical demands. Assertive people are bold but respectful. They get things done while having strong principles and morals. It is a positive trait. It is not being bossy or aggressive just to get their own way whether it's right or wrong.

Yes!!, no one in history have calmed down from hearing " calm down " amen !!

Thanks for sharing this precious teaching .

This is so needed right now

This is a very sad/painful video for me. Ms. Tobias is very correct in her presentation but it is difficult when you are trying to live a Christian with a strong will spouse. Hopefully I will have the grace/patience to apply the wisdom principles that Ms. Tobias has shared. Thank you Focus On The Family. Well done

Tone is everything, everything

Thank you kindly. I will remember not to take the bait in the future. I will smile and be kind. Silence is also gold. 😁😁😁

Yep. Getting along with strong willed people is possible. Although it does require tact and wisdom when working with them. As for the strong willed person. If they are intuitive and have the ability to self reflect. They learn to adjust and change from the inside out. Some come to realize the world does not revolve around them.

I AM the strong-willed person. And so is my only child, a daughter just like me. Help me, Jesus!🙏✝️🕊️❤️‼️

I love it! Communication is important in getting alone with others 😉.

This is mind blowing! What an answer to prayer and fasting I Now I have knowledge and skills I am grateful beyond measure!

Exactly what I needed to listen to today .Thank you !

The Lord knows I needed this...from a SWP clashing with another SWP 🙏

Thank you for wisdom, a laugh & hope given!

Oh dear mine! I am so blessed to hear this message!!!Thank You!

I always tell my mother to be calm and to quit releasing negativety to the environment. I need to learn how to help her cause she doesnt understand

Iam so grateful for this teaching and learning experience for growth Grace compassion in Jesus'Name

Opposition defiant disorder - how to cope with interactions! She’s hilarious

Thank you for sharing this broadcast. It's actually blessing 🙌

Why does it have to be a 1-way street with us bending over to accommodate them so that they don't get offended. Perhaps they should deal with the spirit of pride in their hearts.

Thank you Jesus!!!

As an SWP , raising them and having many in my family, thank you! I needed this years ago!

My wife and I both are strong willed. We do fight a lot. I’m hoping this will help me in dealing with her; and she with me. Thank you Cynthia Tobias.

Love, love, love this. I need to listen to this everyday. Thank you.

Amazingly helpful..Teach this in Schools!!!!Everywhere.Replay replay!!!!!

I love hearing focus on the family!

Thank you. God's blessings 🙏💗🙏

I appreciate the advice Cynthia Tobias gives. The only thing I object to is the use of the moniker "strong-willed". That implies that people who are not "strong-willed" are "weak-willed". From the advice I hear from Cynthia, SWP are less capable of not being acerbic than I am of being acerbic when I choose to be. It seems they have less control over their will than I have over mine. The best way to manipulate a SWP is to let them think they are winning. I do that with my boss all the time in order to "lead up".

This helps me SO much with my son!

I am a reformed by Christ SWP. Unfortunately my son married a girl just like his Mom was before Christ fixed me. My DIL is not a practicing Christian so her strong will has manifested in bullying me. I've allowed it thinking she'd eventually respond to love & kindness. 15 years later she still dominates and I can only maintain my contact with my son & granddaughter by obeying her rules. Her abusive disrespect has only grown. My broken heart is only surpassed by how she has throttled my ability to bring Christ's love into their family. I would like to stand up for myself but Christ is more important. I pray they will have some revelation after I die.

This is why I have an aversion to strong willed people…….then I married one. And found out that he inherited the trait. Lol not knowing how best to deal with it, I just didn’t. I just avoided it when I could and gave in when I couldn’t. Peace is more important to me, I guess. 43 years later and I still have my much loved husband that seems to appreciate me because I have put up with him. It helps that we moved into a bigger house and more property for me to have the space that I need to avoid him when I need to and he respects that. He in turn has learned to avoid me when he is in one of his very negative and angry moods that I am clueless to understand. Like he is clueless to understand why it should bother me so much. I have entertained the idea to treat him Like he does me with those strong willed and irritatable moods. Well. I can’t say that I would recommend that idea. Lol. What I can say is that my husband is a strong and honorable man that takes his job as a husband and a father very seriously and I love him for that.

Thank you....timely answer to prayers

I like the " i think i meant it differently how i said it ". 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Thank you. I just learned why there are too many fires in my house with my 5 year old.

I posit that strong willed people have high need for and tend to extend respect, and so often in culture we "nicely" disrespect and SWP recognize and resist that.

😆 Oh I love her! And she is so right on. I have a 5 year old SW boy. It’s a rollercoaster ride of emotion. I always love him. But we have great, amazing times. And we have struggles (because I’m not an SWP, but I do have red hair😋). But he is an amazing kid and will definitely be a leader some day!

Those who makes you sad are in control

Thank you ❤️ for providing so many tools!! I will definitely use your example for how to give grace to a difficult co-worker.

I can’t tell you how amazing this video is! My 13 year old daughter and I are not SWP!! All too many times I have to say get behind me Satan! ❤ We go in circles about subjects, I feel that this tactics will put a stop it! 😂

Overcoming the fear of swp. I want to express myself freely.

Oh my goodness! I love this woman!

I needed this yesterday.

The Way They Learn

You're mine kind of person. And it works I've tried it and it works. Thank you

My son is home from prison after many years and his sister died just this may of overdose…my husband is not happy with the situation. He won’t work with this and the two are fighting…I’m stuck in the middle…..two strong willed people. They have the control😢 and I’m so tired. Pray for all of us. I took the bate

As a SWP, I can vouch. This is great. Thank you! I learned about myself and others.

I’m a strong willed person but I thank you for this. My DIL is a SWP but also a narcissist. So sometimes I get angry because she leaves thing out that I don’t get upset about because it is nice for her family and not mine. My older son is her family and that’s it. So I have to use your way with her. Maybe that will get her to think of others and not just her my son and grandkids.

My 30 year old swp just paid for us to go on a 6 week 40th anniversary trip from out of no where he asked what r u doing to celebrate I said gas toooo high we will stay home he said here is a check u and dad decide where u want to go camping out west Utah and Arizona are fabulous stopping at GSM Dollywood on the way back to NC thanks Payton son u r our gem love mom and dad

I want to thank you for this talk. ❤

My family is loud. Not angry. Guess it sounds angry. Im gonna get this book.

She’s awesome!!! 😊

Amen, I have sarcasm as well but not as much! I try to be kind!

Oh how I wish I had this advice when I, an SW parent was parenting an SW son. It certainly would have been helpful for my SW mama when she was raising 3 SW children! (There were 4 of us but thankfully #4 was a sweetie) My son and I survived my SWP mistakes and we have a wonderful relationship now. More thanks to his graciousness than anything I did! Love covers a multitude of sins

Leo sign here. Loved this clip. ❤️ I am SWP

Absolute quality 👌🏾

My husband is an SWP. 38 years ago, someone told him he’d never be able to be sober…..he showed them!! That’s always been his attitude! Don’t tell me what to do! Love your speech 🥰

Amazing message ❤

I like her alot!!!

I acknowledge that I AM a FIRST BORN & STRONG WILLED❣️ In TODAYS world tho… I question a Millennial giving someone that “TAG” when I see SNOWFLAKES that MELT @ the HINT OF WARMTH😮😢NOW THAT GETS ME UPSET & ready for battle as I have recently battled a Narcissist in my Life that I HONESTLY THOUGHT CARED… He left me for a millennial Jezebel/Delilah & NOW I AM THANKFUL FOR TOUGH❣️✨🙏🤓 ❤️🤍💙🇺🇸

These communication tools are perfect as we enter the holiday season.

phenomenal speaker, great audio

I love focus on the family, Thank you for your ministry

Judge Judy need this message

Those who anger you and you act out of that anger Controls you

love her!!!

Life changing 💟✝️👏🏻

I love the part about Sarcasm, Cynthia is so awesome.

I am the strong willed person with ADHD on top of it. I get what she is saying at the first of the presentation. My pet peeve is no-one wants to take the initiative either at work or college working with a team to get something done. And I am tired of taking all of their “monkeys” aka work to get something done. The other is meetings, have a clear agenda so time is not wasted. I am also working on my tone and active listening.