Girl Defined VS Shiny Happy People 

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Kristen is so creepy to me. She just seems like so fake nice and then will rip your heart out in the next second.

I still consider myself a Christian and I’ve homeschooled and I pretty much kept my kids away from church and anyone who would be a possible threat because of things that happened to me IN THE CHURCH. I didn’t force my beliefs on my kids. I just wanted them to see me being a good person as often as possible, and I think I’ve done OK at that. One of my babies is embracing paganism, because she went on a deep dive of our Scandinavian heritage after we got our DNA tested. That was the risk of having really smart kids doing homeschool. A little part of me still indoctrinated from the church thinks maybe I’m going to hell because I didn’t lead my child to Christ, but I never tell her that and the rest of me is SO PROUD of her independence and intelligence. There are people who would have my child killed in the name of Christianity because of her personal beliefs and her gender identity. That’s not Christ-like. There’s nothing Christian about Conservative “Christianity”.

F’ing THANK you for saying not everyone needs to be some kind of abuse hero origin story. The expectation of people who’ve been through the 💩is ridiculous. Just the day-to-day of pretending to be okay whilst working through one PTSD moment to the next - while trying to appear perfectly normal, for the benefit of others - is exhausting. People should be allowed to work through their stuff on their time. Ironically, you get through quicker and healthier when not trying so hard to be okay for everyone else.

I thought you were making a reference to the bubble boy movie I didn't know this was an actual thing 😂

Sounds very contradictory that girl defined doesn’t want people to have a victim mentality but they are ALL coming out of this with a victim mentality. 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

Funny how Paul was talking about wearing something to show for pride while he's wearing a t-shirt that tells everyone that he is a Christian. Paul why is it that you can wear a t-shirt showing your pride and Christianity but other people aren't allowed to wear t-shirts showing their pride and who they are?

There’s something sinister about them all worried about drag queens, but then calling the Duggar story, entertainment

Wow. “Not everyone had that experience!” Not the argument you think it is girls 😀 that just tells me you were lucky. And I’m genuinely glad they weren’t abused by the IBLP or Gothard, but just because an abuser treats YOU nicely doesn’t mean they’re not abusive. That doesn’t mean they’re safe. It just means you got lucky.

"I wasn't abused, this wasn't my experience!" This is extra funny given that their oldest brother just came out and said that he was horrifically abused, their mother knew and did nothing.

As an abuse survivor from my childhood in Catholic grade school, I'm really angry about what IBLP did to women and children and the rape culture Bill Gothard encouraged. There's no "both" sides. IBLP was set up for one thing only: for Bill Gothard to inflict emotional and physical pain on young people for his own enjoyment. He was a monster.

Girl defined is just the pretty mean girl and her friend with low self esteem bullying everyone. I don’t understand their platform.

Girl Defined may not have been abused in their fundamentalist environment, but their brother WAS, and their mother ignored it. They've got a lot of nerve to minimalize his experience.

As someone who was in a cult, and was assaulted in that cult, the “well he hasn’t done that to me” or “he’s not really that type of guy, he’s great to everyone generally speaking, it must just be you” is a pretty strong tactic

Okay I found the discussion about how she's been having fun kissing and having intimacy with her husband odd. It just came off as so childish. It's just demonstrating how much damage purity culture has done. Its like that you're so giddy about how you finally get to do these things and it's so special when these are completely normal activities

Having trauma is “okay” in our society as long as you’re already over it. It needs to be a redemption story. Can’t possibly just be- This horrible thing (s) happened and I’m struggling

I mean, I know, like, tons of people that *weren’t* murdered by Ted Bundy, so I think the documentary about him needs to share his side of the story. Let’s hear him out about all the non-murdering. That’s how Kristen and Bethany sound right now. 😬🙄

Kristen really said "I'm uncomfortable when we're not talking about me" with her whole chest

It is gross what they are doing to all the victims but specifically Jill. Saying Jinger is doing it better and Jill, in their opinion, is trash and too much a victim. Trashy.

Also Girl Defined: "John Wayne Gacy wasn't a bad man! The kids he performed at as a clown had a positive experience with him, we should be hearing their stories too!"

How anyone could go through the mental gymnastics of justifying the actions of a psychopath is beyond me.

They definitely get the "victim mentality" thing from their mother. Their brother recently came out speaking about the abuse he himself suffered as a child and the mother did nothing about it. She is now accusing her own son, who she failed to protect from SA, of having a "victim mentality."

15:57 Kristen: "It's so easy to want to become the judge" Bitch, that's all you two do is judge everyone!

When Kirsten is talking about "victim lifestyle" it's words right out of her mothers mouth. Idk if you keep up with r/fundiesnarkuncensored but the oldest baird boy actually has been posting some of his experiences and he was abused as a child and thats exactly what his mother says to him in the texts he posted. Maybe Kirsten and Bethy were never abused but their brother certainly was and for them to be so heartless about it is just the saddest thing.

Jaclyn please do a video on the Colleen thing, you'd get so many views and I'd love your take on the situation

"Where are all the kids who DIDN'T get abducted? Where's their story?" 🤣 That got me. But man, you're right, you put that language on literally any other abuse scenario and it's abundantly clear how messed up it is. Fundies want every doc about them to be an evangelical tool and that's just not what this was. Like...sorry

Again, WHERE are the Christians calling out this toxic, abusive, & damaging behavior that's thriving within their religious organizations? Oh yeah, they're too busy making videos defending, deflecting, & minimizing the harm while shaming the heathens who dare shine a light on it. That'll really dissuade their audiences from deconstructing.

"Like, I get it; this serial-killing cannibal killed a lot of people, and a lot of people lost family members, but like, he didn't eat ME, and none of MY family were killed and eaten, so like, why is nobody telling THAT story?!"

I was raised 1 degree away from IBLP, my grandparents and mom (before being an adult) actually attended the seminars. I was a fundamental Christian and homeschooled. I knew people in these programs. My reaction to the docuseries was thank goodness my parents made different choices. That could have been me. Girl Defined's reaction is appalling. They should be scared of how they were raised and thankful they weren't abused. (Hopefully they weren't)

why does no one talk about the fact there was a whole episode, the only one i couldn't watch, and centers on beating your children senseless for obedience. Where is god in that conversation. I feel like this was not addressed at all. As a mom i literally couldn't watch that episode because the thought of hurting a child literally made me want to puke.

girl defined is like "I was raised this way and I'm totally fine" uh you make videos telling people they're going to hell if they kiss for a living like. reevaluate that

"Can you imagine someone reacting like that ever?" Um yes, absolutely. Someone reacted like that to me. It probably happens to almost everyone who tries to call out an abuser to someone else. It's pretty awful.

as a survivor of childhood sexual abuse, I was really angry in my youth. I'm a 32 year old adult now, and it feels like the anger is gone 99% of the time, but listening to someone say the words "victim mentality" and using "it doesn't happen to everyone" as some weird excuse to be upset about people speaking out about thier abuse brings that anger back out, to the point where I honestly wish she would say that shit to my face. Someone's faith must be more fragile than they think to get this defensive and miss the point this much.

I said the same thing in the Paul and Morgan vid but them saying it was full of non believers makes no sense. Some of the people talking about their experience are still Christian and they had a literal priest giving input as well. I don’t know about you but can’t get more Christian that a priest in my opinion (well their is the pope and his guys but that obviously wouldn’t happen)

When you were talking about people being abused and no one else believing them because "that's not my experience with them! I've never seen them act like that!" That cut me to my core. As someone who spent her early twenties before the me too movement, I kept telling people that the man that assaulted me was an awful person, telling them what he did to me, telling them all of the ways he took advantage of me. I got so many "well he's never treated me like that so in fairness I should give him the benefit of the doubt." No. Abusers do not deserve your benefit of the doubt. It doesn't matter your experiences with them.

people feel like it's an attack because it's one more story on top of the many horror stories in extremist religious groups where people keep getting hurt. they are seeing religion through their personal experience and they feel wronged that their community is not shown as pretty or welcoming as they are imagining it. I don't know if I can have any sympathy for them tho when stories like these break out religious people do not take action to heal their communities they don't offer help or empathy they don't raise awarness they don't hold their priests accountable they don't defend the victims in place because they are too worried about "what will people think about christians now that this person came out to be bad within our group?".

Girl Defined's response is reminiscent of the people who defended the likes of Harvey Weinstein and Brett Kavanaugh and Brock Turner and good lord the list is too long. Abusers/predators/bad people aren't causing harm 24/7 to every single person they meet. Like I genuinely don't get why that's so hard to comprehend. Even the worst of the worst of humanity still have spouses, friends etc. Abusive parents still exhibit kindness and care time to time, that's precisely why (well, a big reason why) it's so hard for their kids to cut them off completely. Hitler had a girlfriend. Just sayin.

Yes Girl Defined, They only talked to the victims that's how news works. Do they also whine about how when a building burns down they talk to the people whos house burned down instead of someone whos house didn't burn down? Not a neighbour or anything just some random person that also has a house but it didn't burn down.

"Our hearts should break, just like God's heart breaks whenever His word is misused..." Define what you mean by "misused", GD.

There was a news story that broke in which the Kristen and Bethany’s brother came out with his own story of SA. He exposed a LOT of shit that happened in their church- AND their mother. Basically, his claim is that girl defined is the way they are bc of their mother- so maybe they should’ve been separated from mommy dearest lol 😂

Documentaries are not made for entertainment. They are made to spread information. You can find them entertaining but that is not their goal.

My theory is that a lot of Christian channels were contacted and emails from the people making the documentary were ignored, lost in email, or maybe they didn't take it seriously? Because in all honesty i think nate and Sutton are faaaaar worse and more religiously dogmatic than paul and morgan and i could see nate thinking its stupid and not want to be involved

Religious indoctrination is a hell of a drug.

I wish someone would leak paul morgans entire interview

You could post a 3-hour long video, and I'm still going to watch it. I love hearing your opinions. Your videos make me happy to know that there are indeed people out in the world that research and analyze topics thoroughly to form their own, grounded-in-reality opinions, instead of swallowing whatever the people surrounding them shove down their throats. You don't take anything at face value. You always do your research and ground your opinions in fact. I love you to pieces, keep it going!

Leave it to Beth to only care about herself and her own feelings in a docu-series about religious abuse.

As I former Christian and three type of abuse victim, this not healthy at all. We taught that everything that happened to us was our fault. It does more damage then to our minds. I'm in therapy and learning that it was never my fault, it was the people who did it to me fault. I became very passive because of the abuse from my brothers and mom. My therapist now teaching me how to be more incentive, it is very hard for me to be after years of being passive. For anyone who asks. My eldest brother, SAed me for 6 years till I got to point that willing to die and tell him off after death threats from him since I was 10, He is 3 years older then me. My older brother physical abused me. My mom mentaly abused me for years and is a nassist who stands by my brothers' actions toward me. I have self esteem issues because of her. They hide behind the Christian beliefs about everything they do.

People say "that wasn't my experience" all the time, unfortunately. That's why abusers put on the facade of being a great parent/spouse/friend in public, they know how much image will sway opinion. That's why so many of them say, "no one will ever believe you," and they're too often right.

Girl: this guy abused people but i liked him and he didn't abuse me. So why wasn't that side explained. Does that mean that the abuse was warented?

Why they always bring up the "not everyone had bad experiences" when victims of SA in church tell their stories yet when it's about 99,9% of trans people living happier healthier life it's somehow always about the 0,1% of those who aren't? Hmmmm... I'm starting to think they aren't as logic based as they let on

I think it's sad that, in a sense, they're not only turning away the experiences that others had but are also upholding the idea that being assaulted is a sort of "rite of passage". They're making it known that yeah, your assault was bad but it happens and makes you better. Like? That's so asinine and sad because there's no way you hear about a 13 year old (or younger) and feel something other than thinking that that incident is ... honorable (eg. the woman who said she was jealous as a child of the girls who got SA'd).

The message is "These heathens are talking about folks who aren't REAL Christians "

I honestly wouldn’t be surprised the way Bethany was in this video if maybe her experience wasn’t as good as Kristen’s was 👀 the way Kristen shames the victims and puts Jinger on a pedestal is so disgusting (to use he own words)

I wonder if they're ever going to address the fact that their brother has come out publicly (on reddit) as a survivor of abuse, and had it swept under the rug and pushed aside by the family.

The people in the documentary were specifically on there to talk about how they were victimized, pretty bold of Girl Defined to just to them living a victim lifestyle or mindset.

When they said how the doc didn't end all happy, I wanted to laugh hysterically at their "everything should end all sunshine and rainbows cause everything's OK and there are no problems in the world because of God" mindset but I didn't because I was too filled with anger towards their entitlement of victim blaming and having the audacity to make these false claims that the doc was targeting Christians as a whole and saying this and that about it that are far from true. Like GD, who the hell are you to tell victims how to process trauma and who the hell are you to be angry when allegedly being falsely targeted? Oh sure I get it, you can target LGBTQ+ and drag queens all you want but how dare anyone target you! These girls (and Paul and Morgan) need to wake the f*** up and realize that the whole world does not revolve around them and Christianity. God does not want people forcing others to live a certain way and if he does then that's all the more reason for me to not convert cause I don't want to be following someone who forces others to live a certain way.

I’m watching it now and I can’t help but feel like Jill’s husband is very controlling and embarrassed of Jill being abused. He keeps saying “this should never have been public” and spoke about Jill’s first interview about the abuse as a suicide mission that destroyed her reputation.

I do think Bettany would have been a way better person without the influence of the sister

I love how you pointed out that there’s still similarities to IBLP present in religion and it’s not just this guy because I had similar experiences and hadn’t even heard of him.

Not Bethy of "She Works Smart" claiming that making money off of something is somehow invalidating 😂😂

girl i had to subscribe!! you are so fair in the way you look at things! even if you dont agree with most of the stuff that these ladies say you are able to see the good things also

Bethany is definitely the Jan Brady

My sister was abused by our father. Me by our mother. Just because my father treated me well for the most part, doesn’t mean he was a good person. He still abused my sister and that makes him a terrible person. Full stop.

This is actually so sad they could have said something condemning that man but I was a very poor argument of well I was never abused. Absolutely disgusting

Oh my fkn gawd, these chicks need to make up their minds about a few things. It's just entertainment made for bad motives, but it makes good points? They think it's important that this came out, but they want to gatekeep victims' takes on victimhood? They think it's cool to caution about the inherent potential for abuse in authority structures, but only the ones that don't fit their own doctrine? For. Fox. Sake. FWIW, at least they shut down the "honor your parents" excuse. That one's personal for me. My dad was ordained when I was very young and was a pastor and deacon throughout my childhood. I sat in court at 13 and watched him go to prison for molesting my sister. He "repented" after doing his time and became a pastor again. He recently got caught grooming another relative who's 1/3 his age, and who knows what else he was up to before, after, in between. These dudes don't change.. it's all a @#$&ng hunting ground for them.

The hardest part of any video about dealing with gd is listening to them actually talk because of how insanely arrogant and pompous in their views they really are.

The fact that these two live in the same city as me is a constant source of disappointment. San Antonio is such a welcoming and diverse city, I hate that they get to represent any part of it.

I have had no problems at all with murderers. Others may have had different experiences, but I have not been a victim of any one of them, obviously. Do not make a fuss over nothing.

Kristen is such a cold narcissist. Only someone self absorbed and devoid of genuine empathy would prioritize their own feelings over the trauma of other people. She seems so much more upset about the tone of the documentary and how the victims are coping with their trauma than the abuse itself. As an ex-catholic, I can empathise with the feeling of being blamed for the actions of a tiny faction of your community and sometimes the instinct is to go on the defensive, but you have to resist that temptation when victims are concerned. The fact is that CSA can happen anywhere and done by anyone, so you have to keep your pride in check and focus on how to keep people accountable, how to give victims a voice and resolution, and how to prevent further harm.

Its like calling a seriel killer innocent because some people on earth are not killed yet

Seriously, Did they watch the same show I did?!!!! These two "women" are despicable.

oh good for you Kristin that you didn't get abused guess your parents didn't listen to the curriculum

@24:20 yes 💯 I actually have slightly more respect for her at least saying that and meaning it. Also I seriously wish Christians would understand some ppl *need* to not be Christian. That's just how it is.

Have you seen any of the recent stuff from Bethany and Kristen's brother that's come out? He's been speaking out about his family (mostly parents) and the abuse he suffered growing up, he was even sent to Alert. His story/ truth is really interesting in contrast to his sisters statements and reactions to the victims featured in SHP.

Girl defined just wants to make yet another story about themselves.

Bethany and Kristen keep referring to angles and sides and pushing a narrative without actually saying what the fuck they mean. What they probably wanted to say was "This documentary made our brand of Christianity look bad and that hurts our feelings!"

I think it’s pretty insensitive of Kristen to ask “Was the story well-told?” as if it’s a fucking summer blockbuster.

The christian influencers response to this documentary being "Yeah well they were using christianity wrong not like US" feels so much like people saying "Yeah well you just need more good guys with guns."

Tbh, I think Girl Defined's video is so insidious because - ASIDE from taking the focus off of actual victims and make them and their beliefs the victim - it specifically targets the attention of people who haven't seen the documentary or are already primed against it in order to really the latter or hopefully convince the former **not** to watch it and just assume that they are being honest. Like I can **feel** the intention to pull more people to their side and undercut people who might see the documentary and start to actually analyze things more deeply.

That’s amazing that Bethany actually acknowledged that children shouldn’t have to blindly love their parents. My mother inflicted narcissistic verbal and emotional abuse on me my entire life and I didn’t even realize it. She would say things like you need to respect me and I would say but you don’t respect me. She would follow by saying that she didn’t have to respect me, she was my mother.

"They are capitalizing on a story that'll make them tons of money"....ummm JUST like these girls do EVERY TIME they up load a video.....or talk about THEIR pateron. SMDH You'd think that they'd maybe have a different point.... It seems they TOTALLY dismiss the victims & what happened to them and how they (victims) feel. Laughing & talking out both sides of her mouth in the SAME sentence.... How tone def can two people be?? 🤦 I grew up in conservative christian house. The way these two girls "explained" how THEY see it or THEIR "problems" with it is one of the BIGGEST reasons I questioned Christianity. The one sidedness,lieing or "twisted truth" if you or your faith/leardership/worship/one sideness/rules/values is questioned.. EVER. The entire history and until this very day... Lieing,ugliness,deceiving, underhanded things that have happened in the "Name of God" should speak for itself. But for me, the HYPOCRISY and narrow mindedness takes the cake on what MOST (not all) Christians stand for...... If you think differently,feel differently... "Your WRONG & your going to Hell". They cram it down your throat til you "believe" exactly like them or... you turn completely away. Sorry for the tangent.. It's nice to find a channel that is actually enjoyable to watch and has insightful & TRUTHFUL takes.

Their friends reaching out to them asking if they’re okay pisses me off so much. Like, they are not the victims being given a platform with this documentary. Even faced with the horrible, damaging effects that their ideologies can have, they persist with their victim complex.

"You met him once right?" "Mmm yea." Ma'am. You met him one time and now you think you know what he thinks and does behind closed doors?? GROSS. "Use discernmnt"?!?! These people were in the religion. They were witness to the abuse and youre really going to undermine their experience because it makes your religion look bad?! If it doesn't apply to you, then why are you so defensive?

OMg, listening to Bethany and Kristen are like nails on a chalk board. Especially misses I'm perfect Bethany

Why are you so focused on acceptance and letting people choose what is best for lives and bodies. Yet you do nothing by drag these girls down for their beliefs and lifestyle? If you actually lived what you preached you may see that you guys have more in common than you think. You are both women who care about your morals, family and intelligent. Just my opinion, I think as you get older you may not feel the need to attack Christianity so much.

Of course not everybody had the same experience. Of course not everybody were abused. That's how abusers work! They specifically choose their victims, they are looking for someone vulnerable, who either won't tell anybody or that won't be believed.

Your last name is Hornbeak why don’t you start with that since you LOVE exposing others

Paul and Morgan seemed to think they were brought on to try to convert people to Jesus, and Girl Defined, I don't even think the watched the same show.

I haven't checked in on this channel in a long time, and thus haven't seen 'Girl Defined' in a long time...wow, age ran them over like a train convoy

No but please keep doing long videos 🙏

Wow, these girls are clueless and angry the documentary didn't highlight the hope in Jesus. 😮

Gotta love religious fanatics. They always have to deflect and make it about them.

Sometimes i wish there was a god so he could smite down people like kristin and bethany for trying to downplay abuse

They basically responded the same way everyone did to me when I came out about what happened to me. This was the same shit said to me.

Just listening to them victim shame makes me feel gross.

Jaclyn what was the name of that married guy Katelynn Dubow walked in on you with lol

I haven't watched the video yet, but first impressions: Bethany and Kristen are allergic to strong colors.

But you exposed and silenced your actual talented ex’s while you have no real talent

They should be discouraged. It was horrible. Girl Defined and all their ilk should be looking at themselves and how to combat the religious abuse that runs rampant.

I know this video isn't about queer people but as one. Thank you, Jaclyn!