I feel empty. I have a Girlfriend and a friendgroup where everyone understands me and cares for me but still, im unhappy. I was bullied 7 years of my life. Always called the Outsider and the weirdo. My Family always treated me like i was the black sheep and they all said i was annoying. But still, i always saw good in people. I cared for them and helped them. But nobody helped me. Nobody cared. I have a Big Heart. Atleast thats what everyone tells me. I hate having a Big Heart. I tried killing myself in the past, but i never went through with it. Its just that i dont know what to do with my life. Everyone is Arrogant and selfish nowadays, and you cant find REAL people. My mom is sick. I have no idea how many years i have left with her. My dad doesn't care about me or my problems. But thats because he never got fatherly love. Over the time i changed so much for others, but its never enough. I just.. don't care anymore. I was never good enough. My mom always told me she wanted a Daughter. Not a Son. I just feel so unloved. Me and my Girlfriend have been together for 8 months now, but she never really treated me right. She made fun of me in front of her friends. My classmates noticed that. I talked with her. She wants to change it. I just hope she does. The more i cared about others, the more i got insecure and started hating myself.
