How much can grandparents involve in today's parenting methodologies. Why are Indian grandparents not letting young parents do what they feel is right ?
ഏറ്റവും എടുത്തു പറയേണ്ട കാര്യം 'പുതിയ തലമുറ'യുടെ ചിന്തകൾ തെറ്റ് ആണ് എന്ന മുൻവിധിയോടെയാണ് ഗ്രാൻഡ്പേരന്റ്സ് ഇടപെടുന്നത് പോലും. അവിടെ ഈ ലോജിക് ഒന്നും വിലപ്പോവില്ല. ലോകം മാറി എന്നതും കുട്ടികൾക്കും പുതിയ തലമുറയിലെ മാതാപിതാകൾക്കും ലഭിക്കുന്ന exposure വളരെ വലുതാണ് എന്നും മനസിലാക്കാൻ കഴിയാത്തവർ വീണ്ടും ഇടപെട്ടു കൊണ്ടേ ഇരിക്കും. സസ്നേഹം എന്ന സിനിമ സത്യത്തിൽ കാലത്തിനു മുൻപേ സഞ്ചാരിച്ചതാണ്
When I was a child my grandparents interfered in each and everything. It was a horrible childhood for me and very miserable for my parents especially my mother. So I decided that when I become a parent I will take decisions and not grandparents. My mother doesn’t interfere in anything since she understands it very well.And my kid’s paternal grandparents don’t interfere much whenever they have gone beyond the limit,I have told them clearly.
Totally relatable. Gratefully my parents or my inlaws are not staying with us on a permanent basis. So I had a control over how to feed my baby to a large extent. Still my mil always concerned about the quantity of food my baby eats even if she eats quite well. But the ball is in my court😀
Baby led weaning was a war over here.we have two babies at home. One,our nephew who was traditionally, force fed from early from 4 months, with biscuits and ragi,(sis in law gave them control about her baby) and my Daughter whom I tried to have a baby led weaning.I was forced to give solids even before she was 6 months.I was so adament and strictly said a No. And I started with giving veggies and fruits finger sized.People around me just went nuts blaming me and taunting me whenever she gags the food.But I didn't gave up.I knew exactly what is Gagging and choking.she started chewing and eating from 7 months.To their amazement she could chew and eat idlis,veggies,and many things. Unfortunately Nephew baby hates food,he doesn't like to be fed nor he could chew or swallow.He is now two and still fed just cow's milk and ragi puree and that too while he is half asleep.And thats when they started accepting( only a bit,not entirely)Baby led weaning. I have a crystal clear example just before my eyes.Guys just don't let them control if they don't know or understands factual informations about parenting.
ഞങ്ങളും കുട്ടികളെ വളർത്തിയതാ ഈ ഡയലോഗ് ആണ് സഹിക്കാൻ മേലാത്തത്... പിന്നെ.. ഇവർ വളർത്തിയ കുഞ്ഞുങ്ങൾ ഒക്കെ ഇപ്പോ വലിയ ആൾക്കാർ അല്ലേ ഓർക്കുമ്പോ ചിരിയാണ് വരുന്നത്... 59 cm height ഉള്ള മകന്റെ കുഞ്ഞിന് പൊക്കം കുറവാണ് ഞാൻ തിന്നാൻ കൊടുക്കാഞ്ഞിട്ടാ എന്ന് പറയുന്ന എന്റെ അമ്മായി അമ്മ, കുഞ്ഞിന്റെ കഴുത്തു നീളാൻ എന്നും പറഞ്ഞു അതിനെ താടിയും തലയിൽഉം മാത്രം കൈ പിടിച്ച് ഇങ്ങു തൂക്കി എടുത്തപ്പോൾ എന്റെ നെഞ്ചിടിച്ചു അവരെ അത് പോലെ തൂക്കി എടുക്കാനാ തോന്നിയത്... കാലിലൊക്കെ ഇങ്ങനെ തൂക്കി പിടിക്കണം പോലും... കുഞ്ഞാണെങ്കിൽ അവരുടെ മകന്റെ തനി ഫോട്ടോ കോപ്പിയും... പത്തു മാസം ഉള്ള കുഞ്ഞിന് തിന്നാൻ നല്ല ചുവന്ന നിറത്തിലെ കോലുമിട്ടായി... കുടിക്കാൻ എല്ലാരും കുടിക്കുന്ന കുരുമുളകും മഞ്ഞളും ഇട്ടു തിളപ്പിച്ച വെള്ളം അത് ഞാൻ വേറെ വെള്ളം കൊടുത്തു കേട്ടോ... സഹിക്കുവാ ഭർത്താവിനെ ഓർത്ത് മാത്രം... വളരെ സന്തോഷത്തോടെ സ്വസ്ഥമായിട്ട് ഞങ്ങൾ ജീവിക്കുന്നു... ഇത്തരം വീട്ടുകാർ മതിയല്ലോ ഇങ്ങനെ ഉള്ള ഭാര്യ ഭർത്താക്കന്മാരെയും കൂടി തമ്മിൽ തല്ലിക്കാൻ.. അത് കൊണ്ട് എല്ലാം സഹിക്കുന്നു
Maitreyan and Swathy... Great tutors❤both have helped me to gain more information about life... Swathy in parenting and maitreyan in almost all other matters... I am so thankful for you both🤝❤️
Ivide 4 years aaya mon und avanu grandma und, grandma yude parents 2 aalum undd, athayath 3 aalukal und interfere cheyyaan, but ente stand vereyaa njaan amma I know how to take care of him, doubts vannal njaan chodikum apo mathile avarde idapedal , avarkk konjikkaam ellam cheyyam, Monte achan naattil illa so I have to care him... Ividulla 3 grandparents um Avante related enthum ente permission eduthitte cheyyu, ath from the beginning njan kurach strict aayathkondaa, pinne ivarkk athyavasyam kaaryangal kandarinj nilkkaanum ariyaam... Athkond ellam smooth aaypokunnu, pinne monod njaan communicate cheyyum enthelum mistake kandaal so avarod enik negative atmosphere undaakkendi varaarilla, mon aayt thanne ath thiruthum
Actually the main problem that is not addressed is that Grandparents, siblings or other care givers are needed. We are depending on them. So they deserve empathy and appreciation. Rather than judging I think we should empower them also. Whoever is going to be care givers should be appreciated, valued, empathized and empowered for gentle parenting from the time of pregnancy of mother. It should be their journey too. Identify who all are going to be involved in the process and start planning
എനിക്ക് ഇപ്പോൾ 5th month ആണ്. ഞാൻ സ്കാനിങ് ചെയ്തപ്പോളും ചെക്കപ്പ് പോകുമ്പോളും ഒക്കെ എന്റെ ഗ്രാൻഡ്മദർ പിറുപിറുക്കും... ഞാനൊക്കെ 8 എണ്ണം പെറ്റു. ഞങ്ങൾ ഡോക്ടറേയും കാണിച്ചില്ല, ഹോസ്പിറ്റലും പോയില്ല. വല്ലാണ്ട് പറയാൻ തുടങ്ങിയപ്പോൾ ഞാനും ഉമ്മയും ചോദിച്ചു. 8 പെട്ടതിൽ 2 പേര് മരിച്ചുപോയിട്ടില്ലേന്ന്. കുട്ടിക്ക് weight കൂടുതലായിട്ടും ഓപ്പറേഷൻ ചെയ്യാതെ (പണ്ട് അതിനുള്ള സൗകര്യങ്ങൾ ഇല്ലായിരുന്നു ) സുഖപ്രസവം നടത്താൻ നോക്കിയതാണ് കാരണം. അന്നു സ്കാനിങ് ഉണ്ടായിരുന്നെങ്കിൽ കുട്ടിയുടെ തൂക്കം ആദ്യമേ അറിയാമായിരുന്നു.. മുൻകരുതൽ ചെയ്യുമായിരുന്നു. ഇതിനൊക്കെ വേണ്ടി ആണ് ചെക്കപ്പ് ന്ന് പറഞ്ഞുകൊടുത്തു. എന്നാലും ഇടയ്ക്കിടെ പണ്ട് ഡോക്ടർ വേണ്ടായിരുന്നു എന്നൊക്കെ പറഞ്ഞോണ്ടിരിക്കും. ഇന്ന് ഞാൻ കുളിക്കുന്നതിനു മുന്നേ ഇത്തിരി പച്ചമഞ്ഞൾ അരച്ച് മുഖത്തും കയ്യ്കാലിലും ഒക്കെ തേച്ചു. പണ്ടേ വല്ലപ്പോഴും ചെയ്യാറുള്ളതാണ് ഇത്. അപ്പൊ പറയുന്നു പ്രസവത്തിനു മുന്നേ അല്ല.. ശേഷം ആണ് ഇതൊക്കെ ചെയ്യേണ്ടത് എന്ന്. ഞാൻ പണ്ടേ ചെയ്യാറുള്ളതാണ്. അതുകൊണ്ട് ചെയ്തെന്നെ ഉള്ളു. ആചാരം ഉദ്ദേശിച്ചല്ല മഞ്ഞൾ തേച്ചത് പറഞ്ഞു. എന്നാലും വീണ്ടും അതങ്ങോട്ട് ദഹിക്കാതെ അതുതന്നെ പറഞ്ഞോണ്ടിരുന്നു
@jayashreenair9332 but it's better to prepare it. Ente water break aayathum labor pain vannatum ellam onnichaarnnu. 36th week okk aakumbozhekum bag full.prepare cheyth vekkunnataanu better.
I was told to keep mobile away when i was pregnant.Now my mother in law is busy putting my child on video call with her daughter.i told my husband that it isn't good for eyes and he did ask her not to do so ....well she isnt an obedient one.lol I want to tell her not to do so...but i just keep quite to avoid issues. One day i was busy with baby i didn't pick her daughter's video call and she was like i did it purposefully and now all she want to do is put baby on video call 😠🤦🤦
Story of my life for the past two and half years...!!! 😝 with 2 kids so double dhamaka...!!! Baby led weaning was like a war zone at home.... 🤓 dreading the season 2 ofbaby led weaning coming in a months time 🙈...!!
My mother in law always tried to give water to my baby when she was 3 months old , she is saying like Baby crying because she is not getting enough breast milk.🤦 I tried to tell her baby is crying due to different reasons but what to do they won't listen to us and telling me I raised 3 childrens.
OMG ..these are so correct!! About breastfeeding,chocolates biscuits....hitting the child...... grandparents are really not allowing us to follow anything new!!! And ithukaranam bayankara cornering anu .......
Today' s young parents are more carefull and pampering children.Because they have one or two children and both are employed and financial sufficiency.Grand parents have lot of life experience and they know how to deal harsh situaion.So they have the obligation and right to advise their children about grand children.But decision will take parents.
For my first baby, first 4 months it was breastfeeding then moved to formula milk so my inlaws without asking me used to take my baby from room and they used to put her to sleep with them..she was a mammaz girl like always wanted to be with me ...so if she cried to be with me ,they would hide her face or block her view so she doesn't see me...or keep her in a room and will lock it..and would say "u go for some work we will take care of her"...literally all these behaviour made me scared like i got a feeling they doesn't want my baby to come to me ...so i got scared to give her to them...but luckly i moved to another place. Now for my second baby he is 11 months, i still continue breastfeeding but my son doesn't go to my father in law so this is what i heard from my son's 1st month ..milk is not sufficient..which literally hurts a mother. Even my father in law used to say my daughter wont come to me...just because she doesn't play much with him.. And nowadays i speak up if they try to cross those boundaries. But at the end i am happy my children love me ...they love them too..
മുത്തച്ഛന്റെയും മുത്തച്ഛിയുടെയും സ്വാധീനം അത്രമേൽ പേരക്കുട്ടി യുടെ ജീവിതത്തിൽ കാണുകയില്ല എന്ന നിങ്ങളുടെ അഭിപ്രായതോടു പൂർണമായും യോജിക്കാൻ പറ്റുന്നില്ല.. എന്റെ മാതാപിതാക്കൾ അവരോട് എങ്ങനെ ഇടപെട്ടിരുന്നു,അവർ അതിനോട് എങ്ങനെ പ്രതികരിച്ചിരുന്നു എന്നത് ഞാൻ കണ്ടത് കൊണ്ട്, പ്രായമുള്ളവരോട് പെരുമാറേണ്ടത് എങ്ങനെ ആയിരിക്കണം എന്നതിന് അത് ഒരു മാതൃകയായി ഞാൻ എന്റെ മനസ്സിൽ ഇപ്പോഴും സൂക്ഷിക്കുന്നുണ്ട്..കുട്ടികൾക്ക് നിരീക്ഷണ ത്തിനുള്ള കഴിവ് കൂടുതലാണ്..ചെറുപ്പത്തിൽ കാണാനും അനുഭവിക്ആനും പറ്റിയ അനുകൂലവും പ്രതികൂലവും ആയ സംഗതികൾ നമ്മുടെ ജീവിതതെ ആഴത്തിൽ സ്വാധീ നിക്കുന്നുണ്ട്
A parent will know whether they have been good parents only 25-35 years into that journey. So one is qualified to provide advice on parenting when they are 50-60 years of age only. Some of today's modern parenting advice available doesn't really hold water in practise.
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In our case,even 2 days together turn intolerable since they act like a parenting advisory board providing shitty advices. The irony is their children were not looked after by them and by someone else. Firmly taking our stand and speaking up is the only way out even if it means them getting offended. Else they take control and soon start interfering in each and every single thing concerning our baby
True...mam ente husband nte family enne vallate control cheyunnu.ellathinum avarudethaya controlling aanu..epolum oronn paranju shalyapeduthum...Monte food nte paatram vekkan pokumbolekk ni mogam kazukichille ninak teere vrithi ille ennoke ulla reethiyile talk aanu...husband aanenki koode illa ..month lu 4,5days verukaye ullo...epolum veruppikumbo mind frustrated aakunnu...
Though i second many of your thoughts. I don't really agree with some part of your video like "Grand parents have nothing to contribute in our life". that's completely depends on the family. In my life, all the care love and affection i got more from my Grand parents. they have built my habits and character. and they pleased me a lot, they shared many stories, poems and much more, and obviously they have put many restriction, when i was a kid and i felt it like, they are bad and rude, but now i understand its value. why did they do that. You cant expect any perfect parents who let their kids to live in their own way(In fact i have not seen :) ). Everything has positives and negatives, here care of Grand parenting has the same ups and down. So in my experience, avoid any stupid thoughts which are not apt to your generation and thoughts, otherwise if you are living with your Grand parents is really a blessing.
Yes ...these g.p n parents don't want to lose their control over younger generation... Again, toxic parenting has resulted in children who lack self confidence n trust over themselves!!!
I have come across my sister in law with her 6 months old baby. She believes more in superstitions and other unscientific methods.What the surprise is the babys grandparents are far better civilised! 😂
എനിക്ക് 2 പെൺകുട്ടികളും (10,12വയസ്സ് )1ആൺകുട്ടിയും (3മാസം )ആണ്.. Postpartum സ്റ്റേജിലാണ്.. ആകെ തല വേദനയാണ്.. മക്കളെ ഞാനെന്തെങ്കിലും പറഞ്ഞു മനസ്സിലാക്കാൻ ശ്രമിച്ചാൽ.. അവിടെ തുടങ്ങും.. ഞാനും പോറ്റിയതാ എന്നൊക്കെ 😡😞😞ഒന്നിനും പറ്റുന്നില്ല.. ഒറ്റക്ക് താമസിക്കാനും പറ്റില്ല 😞😞..നിങ്ങള് പറഞ്ഞ പോലെ അവരോട് പോയി പറഞ്ഞാൽ കഴിഞ്ഞു കഥ...
In my opinion ;This caption is not right. If a grand parent see this they will definitely feel hurt. If tge point you are telling is right how we can explain this to grand parents(ie, our parents) some of grand parents already might in the thought of they get older, they are nothing now, nobody want them... So, this grand kids might only a relief to them. At that time when we tell them like, i know how to look after my child how they feel🙄 This is my doubt
I watch ypur videos with so much of respect and expectation. I have my grandparents who lived with me and my children are also going through the same. But your comments in 9:45 disappointed me. I was looking forward to a solution for the issues like giving chocolates and puttibg TV....Even if you have demonstrated their psychology well like autonomy, distrust, boundaries etc. You are speaking like grandparents are of bo influence????...Wow....children who had spent time with thier grandparents know what incluence they had made on them. You have not spent time with your grandparents. There is so much of intangible assets that they can pass on...like their patience, discipline, punctuality, karuthal, valsalyam.....Grandparents can make good home made evening snacks, take them for walk, read stories, etc.. They might scold parents if they go qrong...And kids see that they see respecting elders, caring them and elderly scoldings have their care in them..Kids see all these and learn from them. Your single statement has actually created huge boundaries between parents and grandparents, those who blindly trust your videos and living in a large family will start thinking negatively. Very disappointing. When you have so many viewera who are looking badly to get your advice, you should be very careful with the words that you utter! And ofcourse everything comes as a package. Im also here to find a solution from your videos. You should be giving solutions to integrate families amd not to shoo them away. The comments column looks like a gossip thread. Every family is not living like you. Moshamaayippoi
See, if you think grandparents in your family is being helpful and you and your kids are having a great time with them establishing boundaries and they are not torturing you why are you getting defensive? That only means THIS video is not for you. Take what you want, leave what you don't want.
Looks like you are stuck in the 90s when grandparents were shown as nanmamarams in families where parents didn't know anything better. And hey, perhaps you had awesome grandparents. Good for you then! The point is, it takes a village to raise a child. Like Swati said, not trusting your own children on parenting, or not updating yourselves on the latest parenting guidelines and supporting your child is not most grandparents do and this is exactly Swati's point. Having Boundaries is important which is why we have so many generations of messed people
What she said doesnt meant that living with grand parents or seeking their advices r wrong...if you have passed thru this situation u haven't replied like this... unwanted interference is such a huge pblm whether it's our own parents or inlaws...u can watch many videos in utube itself upon how badly a child gets affected emotionally by beating him... whether the grand parents or great grand parents agree with this... they will say like "onne ullenkilum ollakkka k adikkanm "see this contradiction..ethre avarum paranjullu 😀
Don't think that u r the smartest. This way u will promote ur videos.. Like u new gen are the examples to show the importants of the grant parents to reach them in old age homes.. Tell me what is the role of parents. Remember that in future u will face the same stage where ur grant children will throw u out. If u r too smart..u can guide grant parents that how to look after their grant children..without their guidance.. U mean.. grant parents r only an object to look after the needy parents' kids?Let me see the comments of grant parents too.Also suggest to b prepared to live separately after marriage where there won't b anybody to interfere. Do u think that they r happy if you children interfere in their life?
