The way that woman was treated by her father and brothers growing up was overlooked. It's not normal to make your daughter throw out every pad/ tampon outside. WHO WANTS TO DO THAT EVERY TIME?! She was set up for this mistreatment by her family a long time ago.
It’s crazy. I’m from muslim family, period also taboo in our community but mine is not extreme. As long it’s clean, no blood anywhere so it’s fine. My dad and my older brother never made a fuss about it but one of my sister did. Like me drying my bra, she’s upset her husband saw the drying bra, panty, and period pad. Like heck, we’re drying our clothes in our house, it’s not openly for people to see. It’s really annoying. I mostly ignored her, but she got into arguments with my other sisters.
Oh yeah, my father shamed me so much the first time I ever got my period. I was 8 and got a drop of blood on my undies because I didn’t know I was going to get my first period. He screamed at me for hours for being so disgusting for putting them in the laundry basket with his and my brothers clothes. I don’t know what I was expected to do with them though because I was too short to reach the laundry sink, was told I couldn’t wash them in the bathroom sink or shower, and also told throwing them away was a waste of his money, so IDK 🤷♀️ So then I was absolutely terrified to get any blood on my underwear because I didn’t want to be screamed at and called disgusting again. But I also wasn’t allowed to use tampons because according to him “that would make me a slut”. Nothing like slut shaming a young girl for wanting to use tampons to just add to her body image issues huh 🙄 (I cut my toxic father and his family off over 10 years ago and my life is so much better now)
My mom told me her parents forced her and her sisters to throw that stuff away outside when they were growing up, and I was shocked. Apparently some people are so uptight they insist on there being no evidence periods exist. It’s insane.
I am wearing my a diaper rn because I bleed like a faucet. My husband always hypes me up for wearing my diaper. He knows I’m comfy and safe during a time of struggle. And what I hear is basically he broke into her house, tried to sex her up, got grossed out cause she wasn’t prepared for him, and then fell asleep in her bed. Leave that freak.
I can’t believe you are the first one who mentioned how messed up he was for showing up at her house in the middle of the night. I think people forget they weren’t living together but even if they were, sneaking up on her in the middle of the night when she thought he was out of town is still invasive
That second story, I love the disconnect of the husband saying “well I run my entire business by myself so you should be able to run the house by yourself” ….while having her do administrative work for his business….. probably unpaid.
definitely unpaid if he still considers himself as running the business by himself. she's not "hired" to do it, she's expected as her wifely duties to "the breadwinner"
Also if he is the self claimed master of time management, why couldn’t he sign the papers. If its the most effortless thing for him then why is he throwing it on her
@@HostaMahogey NO. She said that they hire a cleaning team from time to time to do the heavy lifting. AND I DON'T BLAME HER. I KNOW what it takes to take care of a whole house, the heavy maintainance and deep cleaning included, and I'M NEVER DOING IT AGAIN. Even if we now hire someone once a month for the yard, work around the house NEVER ENDS. So, hiring someone to do the heavy lifting only saves you a bit of sanity and physical health, barely. Not time. The daily chores are just unending.
@@aylenvillarreal5439especially with kids. You have to question, does anyone in that house clean up after themselves or leave it all to her? If so, the daily grind of unpaid, boring, thankless, menial tasks would be unending. You couldn't pay me to stay at home and do that, with no income of my own, no autonomy, no savings. Even worse when you have Add as literally none of that is enjoyable or fulfilling and all of it would feel like eternal drudgery.
The first story comes off weird. “Every time I look at you I see a child in a diaper. So I’d like you to not have the bodily function of an adult. Like a child.” Sounds weird to me
weird thing to say cause children absolutely can and do go through it too. you’re implying that anyone who doesn’t go through it for whatever reason is a child
@@Im_NotSurethats not at all what the commenter is implying thats for sure a reach. they are using an analogy for how nonsensical the bfs thought processing was.
Bro shaming women for using period products is an absolutely terrible thing to do. It says something about how he treated her that she even had to ask is she was in the wrong. She was just being a human being!
It's the fact he automatically assumed it was a fetish and didn't even listen to her explanation if it were actually a fetish then he'd have ground to stand at that point he's got every right to not agree with a fetish and even feel betrayed if he wasn't told but this is just a normal woman using a product for her period idk he sounds like he's mentally younger than her imo
Her family making a big weird deal about menstrual products in the bin definitely plays into what she's willing to put up with from partners. And yet he's still worse 🙃
I suspect the guy wanted to break up but was too much of a chicken-shit to just break up. The lengths some guys will go to to avoid breaking up is astounding.
It says a lot about how she was raised that she had to ask that question. Her father and brothers destroyed her feelings of self-worth and prepared her for accepting this kind of misogynistic abuse when they made her dispose of her used pads outside the house like what came out of her body was something abhorrently gross, they groomed her for this abusive partner!
dude if my husband had a "if you have time to lean, you have time to clean" attitude towards me and started secretly surveilling me to prove I'm lazy, I'd divorce him too. That's nightmare micromanaging boss behavior, I hate that at work, I'm sure as hell not taking it from my spouse. The Dept of Labor did a study that found the average SAHM does the equivalent of $185,000/yr in unpaid labor a year. She can lie down to scroll on her phone w/o getting spied on & called a failure, jesus christ.
Yeah, a 6 am-12 am workday 365 days/year, 24/7 on-call hours, and no sick days or holidays would be shut down for unsafe working conditions or something. It's crazy. Plus, men like that you know are man children who refuse to do any chores unless they are browbeat into it, and then you get weaponized incompetence or constant complaining at the very least.
Tbh imo as soon as he starts to secretly film her to prove a point it doesn't even matter what the original situation was or who was right. I was on his side in the beginning but that is just an immediate nope in my eyes. Crazy behaviour.
If my bf would "surprise" me in the middle of the night, creeping in my bed, when I thought I'd be alone, he'd have at least a broken nose.. possibly some head trauma too!!
LOL it didn't click for me that they don't live together. A man sneaks into my house in the dead of night? There's going to be more than blood in my disposable pants. 😂
Even IF they lived together, being in a relationship doesn't equal consent to touch your partner at any time. And period is one of many good reasons why! To bad he's such a dunce to blame her for finding that one out the hard way, instead of learning his lesson!
When me and my boyfriend (at the time both 21) first started dating and I moved in with him, I accidentally bled through onto the bed. Not too much, but there was a little spot. He was asleep and I was so nervous to tell him. He eventually woke up, and I shamefully told him what I did and how I wanted to clean the sheets. He immediately said “aw baby, it’s ok. Go get cleaned up and lay on the couch, and I’ll wash the blanket and sheets.” I literally wanted to cry, I thought for sure he would’ve been grossed out and made me feel ashamed for doing that. Been together going on 4 years now❤️
@@Emma-Maze Literally tho, it's just a normal bodily function.. Problem is that a lot of men, unless they have actual healthy relationship with the women in their lives, are gonna be weird with it/not understand it
Yeah what’s to stop him from them putting one in the bathroom or bedroom because he thinks she “is lying about being on her period” or “is lying about how long it takes to wash her hair” etc.
A thing that really erked me about that was, that the husband said that everytime she was on her phone she was "goofing off". Even though she was doing something on it for their *kid*, right? It seems people just blew past that part. And the thing of her watching TV a bit before making dinner. She's still a human, she does multiple things a day, she needs a break now and then too.
I absolutely cannot beleive the people in the second one were just DISREGARDING THE CAMERA?!? Like, okay, maybe shes lazy, maybe she has an attention disorder. Doesn't matter, because neither of those things - nor anything else - would justify putting a secret camera in the house to spy on someone? Let alone your wife?!
And what’s to stop him from putting them in other rooms now too, like in the bathroom with the justification of “I think she’s lying about how long it takes to wash her hair” or something
And here I'm questioning if she's actually getting PAID for doing work like 'mailing the checks'. I mean she is apparently the SAHM, the cook, the accountant/'secretary of husband', as well as possibly doing the cleaning. She should be getting paid, but it almost sounds like she wasn't being paid. The fact he tries to micromanage her time, is 100% an AH behavior. I'd be willing to agree that she could be an AH, except we know the husband is lying about 'doing the paperwork' because he's requiring her to mail the employee checks. Which should be his job as the boss, otherwise he has her as some kind of employee, meaning she actually works 2+ jobs while he works 1.
If I had a bf that called me disgusting for having a period, I'd go: "You try bleeding out of where the sun doesn't shine without being able to control it then. Plus, what else am I supposed to do other than sleep in the blood? Change it every three minutes and not get a wink of sleep? Use your itty bitty teeny tiny nonexistent brain for once."
Don’t waste your energy educating people like that. He wants a woman without a period… can you read between the lines? He wants a child. Don’t waste your time on people like that
I agree on the 2nd one. This person def sounds like she has undiagnosed ADHD, and Reddit can't understand how executive dysfunction works. They can't fathom the possibility that someone doesn't have the energy or memory to get things which are things someone can't fully control. The problem the fact is, Reddit is forgetting how controlling the husband is, and secret cameras are never okay. That's blatant disrespect for privacy. I have a sense that the husbands constant rejection of her and the build of rejection sensitivity made it even that much harder for her to do tasks.
Yeah, that’s why I tend not to go on that sub. People usually get into a hive mind thing. Like looking into the comments of that one helped to breakdown what the OP could’ve done better/prioritised, but a lot of them get into a very black and white mindset, missing out on all the grey. Like the dude was definitely an a**hole because of how he put a camera in the house and instantly thought that being on her phone was ‘goofing off’. But like people said in those comments, she also should’ve prioritised some of the things that she didn’t. Now, some of those things were things that the husband could’ve hired someone else for or done himself (the payment thing, which was important but probably shouldn’t have been given to the wife). I definitely agree with Daniel that the wife should look at managing her time better and prioritise other things. She should probably sign forms as soon as she gets them, or possibly get her kids to read through their own forms so they can summarise the fine print (if it’s one of those with lots of things to consider).
Even if she doesn't have ADHD (she could have though) having 3 kids does mean things will be forgotten sometimes, nobody is perfect. And how could anyone trust their partner again after finding a camera? Reddit is so disappointing sometimes.
@@GirlOfTheTardis This exactly. I have 3 younger siblings, so that's a family with 4 kids. Growing up, I often got pissed at my mom for forgetting things that, to me, felt really simple and should be able to be finished quickly... And then I am immediately humbled when neither parent is able to be at home and I have to take care of all the kids. Shit happens, having multiple kids can be chaos especially when they're close in age (which seems to be the case for that family).
Husband: "My wife is so lazy for forgetting a single form for school once! _I_ manage to do all the administrative work my job requires!" Said wife: "My husband got mad one time because I did his administrative work for him later than usual"
based on the way she phrased it it didn't even sound like it was later than usual (i think she said she could do it the next day?) but rather, simply just not ASAP
Just note that this is not an objective retelling of events, and we really don’t know how often she forgets things… It’s not like she’s trying anything to fix the relationship either.
@@Skyhigh91100 He shouldn't have asked her to do anything for his business. The request makes even less sense to give someone a time-sensitive task if you think they aren't good with time management.
That lady was definitely not the asshole for getting distracted. Who the fuck spies on their spouse. I would terminate a relationship if it ever got to that.
Everyone forgets stuff sometimes. What everyone doesn't do is put a camera in their living room so they can spy on other people. That is straight up insane.
Besides… at least here where I live, what he did would be against the law. On a personal level, my trust would have broken on several different levels if I was in her place. I understand she wouldn’t necessarily feel comfortable living with him anymore - or that, at least, rebuilding that trust would take a lot of work on both sides.
I mean there was that one guy who filmed his wife because she tried to poison him with bleach in the coffee cuz she wanted his life insurance or something.
I feel like if you are so disgusted by *the idea of a period* that you are no longer attracted to your partner because she gets one and want her to start birth control just so that you're willing to have sex with her, you're probably not really prepared to date a woman/ mentally mature enough. Yes, blood is gross. How do you think we feel? It's just part of our lives and gross or not it's not right what he said to her
Why is blood gross? There isn't any hard or liquid human waste in it. It's just blood and bloody issues. If you bled from your leg or your ear every month, would you consider it gross?because you have a special bandage around your wound and lie with it bathing in blood? It's just painful and not convenient, at most. Sometimes it's even cool: you bleed profusely from open wounds...so much that you lie in your blood ...without needing a doctor, and heal perfectly on your own. Only, when you leave it for too long (10h+ in sleep) it may become gross/unhygienic.
@@foodie_nightos blood itself isn't gross. A lot of people think period blood a little yucky but nothing crazy, women usually are the least grossed out by it. For me it's the smell of period blood in particular that I don't like. And no I have nothing against periods or pads or sitting in blood overnight. After all, I do it every month and sometimes three months straight due to irregularities. There just seems to be a lot of men that are really grossed out by it and the story itself is about the dude in question refusing to even date a woman who gets one, which is absurd in and of itself, that's like saying he won't eat lemons that tastes like citrus
The second story is clearly a case of weaponized incompetence and the husband is by no means a super parent for picking up HIS child from school. He sounds like a control freak. And maybe the women does have a disability as well, but it sounds way more like she has too much on her plate because her husband was not willing to lift a finger at home. Also if the husband is the employer, he absolutely should be the one mailing those checks, not sending them off with someone who is busy trying to take care of their children and run a whole damn household.
The check thing infuriated me. He's up on his high horse about how he does all of the bookkeeping and administrative tasks at his company, and then it turns out that he doesn't, he makes her do some of it? And he's mad that she's not keeping up on all of the household tasks plus some of his tasks?
“I’m mad that you’re not doing your job and the parts or mine that I don’t want to do, so I’m going to be a creep and set up hidden cameras”. Next he’ll put one in the bathroom saying “you’re lying about how long it takes to wash your hair”
Imagine your spouse is having a hard time remembering to do things, or is feeling overworked, and instead of trying to help work through the issue you *record them without their knowledge*! Jesus Christ, I'd never want to be anywhere near someone who did that to me.
Thank you! I feel like he wants to appear to be super dad who swoops in to “fix all the problems his wife creates” but I also feel like he wants to use that as ammo against her. He resents her for being a human with her own stresses and issues. Instead of being supportive or asking if she needs help, he uses it as an excuse to secretly record her and attack her with the secret recordings!? Scary.
The boyfriend was stupid to say she's "laying in the blood" because the most common period product to use is a pad and that's basically the exact same thing. Period underwear is just added insurance that you wont leak overnight if you're one who regularly has a very heavy flow.
From what I know, I think it's kinda rare to NOT sit in your own blood while on your period! Lots of people use tampons, disks, and cups of course. But a lot of people still use pads! Unless you change them out like every hour, you're gonna be sitting in that blood. It is not gross.
Agreed. I knew a guy in highschool who tried to pull that shit and my friend just deadass told him “I have to end my day covered in blood either way- you think anyone will notice if some of it’s yours?”
Vibes. I hate tampons and I love disks but sometimes I can't be bothered to shove something up the ol' ax wound with my bare hands and then also take it out the same way so pads just feel more convenient at times. Depends on my mood. Disks can be great because once they're in you can just forget about em. But like I said putting em in and taking them out can be a hassle I just don't wanna deal with. Theyre each convenient for their own reasons. Sometimes even girls (not women, girls) would try to shame me for using pads saying it was like a diaper like bruh it thought we were on rhe same team! We get enough of that garbage from men why you gotta be like that?
I don't care if the lady in the second story ACTUALLY spent her days doom-scrolling while a small army of maids and gardeners cleaned the house. HE PUT A HIDDEN CAMERA IN THE HOUSE. That's creepy, invasive, weird. If he has that little trust in her, why does he ask her to do anything at all? Why stay married? The marriage was over the MOMENT a hidden camera entered the conversation.
Yes. At this point the original discussion goes out the window, it doesn't matter anymore who was right. This behaviour is an immediate nope. What kind of Orwellian BS is this??
@@ErynnSchwellinger I think every kid has had a parent miss a permission slip before 😅 I'm sorry but at 16, that kid should have asked their mom the morning of or the day before.
@@Zapporah85 I thought it was the younger kid and the 16yo filled in about it? But yeah every household gets deviations from the routine forgotten some time. I have certainly panic contacted the school at the last minute once. They were very understanding. I also wasn't alone.
In the second story, the husband is not a great person either. * HE didn't sign the permission form before the due date! * HE was too lazy to mail out the pay checks to his own employees- what does that say about him as a business owner? And we all know that he was not paying his wife to mail the checks for him. * And let's remember that HE had the time to go shopping and buy a spy camera, set it up and then sit down and go through the footage from that spy camera- time he could have spent mailing out his own checks, or signing permission forms for his children. Unlike his work, her work as a SAHM continues until she goes to bed, so he had plenty of time to do both of those things himself after he finished work for the day. And what kind of person decides to buy a spy camera to spy on their partner? Does he have a spy camera hiding in the bathroom? In her car? In the kids' bedrooms?
Sounded like the checks were just a favour so that he could spend more time working on other admin stuff at his job. My mom (works full time) asks my dad (retired) to do tasks for her job all the time. Has for years. Sometimes he does crucial aspects of it. Everyone would still agree that she's not being lazy, and that him helping out is just a favour that helps her focus on tasks only she can do. Sometimes she would ask me for help, too. It's not that deep. Also, they asked the mom to sign the permission slip. And, do you really expect him to have 0 free time? He's still a father. He still has kids to take care of and spend time with. Jobs have off days and vacation times. He can go to the store and buy groceries then stop to get the camera. Maybe duing a lull at his job, he purchased it off of Amazon. If you're going to call him names, do so in a way that makes sense. His fatherly duties also continue until he goes to bed.
@@kindauncool > My mom (works full time) asks my dad (retired) to do tasks for her job all the time. Okay, and your dad, being *retired,* actually has the time to do these tasks because he’s not ALSO juggling a full-time job. And even if he was doing these favours for her before he retired…it’s not a 1:1 comparison. Your dad’s ability does not equate to that woman’s ability-especially if she has ADHD. So your point is still moot. (This is, of course, not even factoring that asking someone to do a favour for you absolutely does not entitle you to *scream at them* when they don’t do that favour immediately. Especially when it CAN be done later, and/or you don’t specify that you want it done within a certain timeframe. The whole act of asking someone for a favour means you accept that they’ll get to it when they can-it’s a FAVOUR, not a JOB.) Also, they asked mom to sign the permission slip, but…so what? 😂 Dad could have signed it. He had time to rush to the school and “save the day,” so why didn’t he have time to spend a few minutes filling out the paperwork at home, *before* it was an emergency? He works full time and has to come home to be a dad…and part of being a dad would mean *making sure that homework is done and things like permission slips are filled out* lmao. This is ignoring that she ALSO works full time taking care of the home AND being a mom. She plans (and likely makes) all meals, cleans house, does all the administrative work involved with running a household-and then still has to *be a mom* when the kids come home. How is her job any less demanding than his? Why is his obligation to be a dad both a way to discredit her AND a justification for him failing to do a basic parenting task? 😂😂
+@@revanhartlol no he was a full time stay at home dad to children at the time, not teenagers. You're right that it isn't a 1:1 comparison because before he retired he was working 60hrs/week plus overtime with 0 days off. He still helped out because he wanted to give her a break and because he knew how to do it. People's paychecks are important and my point isn't moot, I'm expressing how it was likely just a favour and if she cared enough (as someone with ADHD & who studies it, I know) she would have been able to find time to do it. I don't know why you're making excuses for her not being helpful but that's fine, some people just hate all responsibility that they're not being paid for, I suppose. That's that capitalistic individualist mindset. Your point about her working full time isn't necessarily true considering not all SAH parents do spend all of their time cleaning the house, especially if they don't waste time watching professionals do their jobs or dedicate chunks of time to thinking about doing a task rather than doing the task. I don't remember saying her job was less demanding than his. The dad probably DIDN'T have time to rush to school and sign the slips, but he MADE time to do so. Something that the mom couldn't do. What exactly does the mom do all day, anyway? What does she say she does? It seems like she just gets stressed out at any and all responsibility and hires other people to do the more difficult parts (premade meal plans, watching people deep clean & do yard work) "Why is his obligation to be a dad both a way to discredit her AND a justification for him failing to do a basic parenting task?" I literally don't know, you're the only one who's said this.
@@kindauncoolyou kind of missed the point that all your explanations were reasonable and so were hers. This person was just throwing the same accusatory attitude the dad had back at him, and your defense of him was actually the point. It’s unreasonable to think a SAHM will never take a rest, will never accidentally drop a task that needed to be done because she’s juggling so many things. People who work jobs that you can clock in and clock out of will never understand the difficulty of being a SAHM that includes emotional labor, no clear schedule, and constant need for flexibility. And it’s unpaid and unappreciated.
I’ve been diagnosed with ADHD four times starting at age 6 and only just got medication at age 41. Doctors refused to give it to me because “ADHD doesn’t affect women in a negative way” or “ADHD meds will make your anxiety worse” among other things. My current doctor told me that studies are showing that women with ADHD tend to have a reduction in anxiety when medicated because the ADHD is where the anxiety comes from. I can finally function without getting distracted 20,000 times a day. People don’t have empathy for women with ADHD or autism at all.
The disorder part specifically means that it's something that causes difficulty, distress, impairment and/or suffering(all of which are negative). If ADHD didn't affect women in a negative way by definition women wouldn't be able to have ADHD.
Another thing that can drastically affect ADHD in women is hormonal fluctuations starting in perimenopause (which can start in your 30s) and menopause, making undiagnosed conditions like adhd even more debilitating. If you already struggle with executive functioning challenges, that can make it 1000x worse.
@@bexlou888 And hormonal fluctuations starting with the first periods too. That's when ADHD started affecting my life BIG way, exactly with me being 12
A 30 year old man shaming his girlfriend for using period products of any sort is so ridiculous. And telling her to change birth controls so her period just stops? My wife went through years of trying to find the right birth control to stop her horrible menstrual cramps, and all she got out of it were years of horrible side effects. Through it all, I've gone out and bought her supplies, including diapers for sleeping in, because that's what you do. Roughly half of the population bleeds and cramps regularly, and they just have to deal with it. The other half of us can deal with at least knowing the basic details of what they go through.
not to mention that birth control isn't guaranteed to make your period stop!! the only way to get rid of it safely is a hysterectomy. Birth control has so many side effects that bio men don't know about nearly enough. Thankyou for being so good to your wife. I bet she's really grateful for your support.
if thats true then my mother is a hard worker because she never missed siging any of those school forms for field trips and such, the only times me and my siblings didnt go was when we didnt want to.
@@modnik1388yeah me and my siblings never missed something due to our mum not signing. The only time I've seen any kid miss something unintentionally is when it's the kids fault for not giving a note in the first place.
Daniel, you are not the ass about having an initial minority opinion in the breastfeeding AITA. You are willing to listen and understand what other people have to say and then challenge your original opinion after that, and the times you realize you might be wrong in some ways, you acknowledge it and that's not buttholery, good sir, that's maturity.
I personally feel that it's a greyer area on that one. I personally feel the responses to the post are focusing on the wrong thing. I thought the post was more about her telling the husband to stfu and if she was an asshole for doing so in that situation which imo i feel kinda yh, but the comments focus instead on the breastfeeding, ignoring her husband's initial attitude in comparison to her own (her husband pleading to her telling him to stfu)
'no' is an answer on its own. She even explained things, multiple times. He asked so many times she had to snap, what's not to understand? His own father set him straight
When my sister had her first child she also breastfed in public, whipping it out without as much as a warning. At the beginning it made me uncomfortable because, you know, it's my sister's booba. (Sarcasm incoming) So whenever it happened i made a huge deal out of it, drawing the attention from everyone in a 2 mile radius and embarassing my sister in front of complete strangers.... No, obviously no5. That wouöd be psychotic. I looked away or on my phone, "oh that's a cool bird over there" and minded my own fricking business.
One've my favorite things to yell about is: bobs aren't for smex. Like, they are literally the human equivalent of udders. Their primary purpose is to feed babies. They are also very smexy; I'm a lesbian, i get it. But like. Moobs are allowed to fly free y'all, and all they do is gross out preteens. But people have to hide feeding a literal infant? And like, people who are breastfeeding are EXHAUSTED. They've got an infant!! That's so exhausting!!!!!!! They just wanna feed their kid!!!! They're not putting on a show, and tbh? Even women look the other way generally! And that's fine!!! We're embarrassed but that's on us, not some tired parent just trynna quiet down a hungry bub. Honestly people are gonna be uncomfortable about this for years to come, but you gotta ask yourself which you care about more: bubsy getting fed, or a grown ass man being embarrassed about a baby getting fed. The kneejerk reaction is understandable but not the be all, end all. I mean, just think about finding a private and comfortable place to breastfeed in public!! Bathrooms are unsanitary and rarely comfortable to hang out in--a few have sitting areas but frankly those tend to be more expensive places. Changing rooms don't want you to just hang out in there. So you can go sit in your car, if you have a car. Hope it has good ac in these increasingly hot summers! And the way the woman in the aita was talking like--it sounded like bub was attached the whole time?? And i dunno if everyone is aware but like, babies cover up like most of the bob they're drinking from. Not 100% of it but they for sure cover that entire nip. And you know what that means??? Technically sfw. You can wear pasties as a shirt in public, but you can't feed a baby?????? Riiiiight.
The people saying the woman in the surveillance story was the A-hole are wild because they completely ignore THAT HER HUSBAND INSTALLED A CAMERA TO MONITOR HER ACTIVITY
Right?! Like my friend the other day, we were sitting all together men and woman and she just put her breast out, in the middle of conversation, and fed her baby. Not everyone is like that, i uderstand it can be uncomfortable for men but srsly.. in your own house?! Have problem? then just dont look.
It’s natural to feel a bit uncomfortable when someone does that but breastfeeding itself is the most natural thing on earth. It’s so annoying that women are always being shamed for basically existing but “boys are boys”
@@WaraiTube Honestly, I don't see men considering womens' discomfort when they take their man boobs out in public. Why should mothers whose children are hungry pay mind to mens' discomfort? Breasts aren't genitals, they are secondary sex traits, just like a man's adam's apple. The issue is that they've been fetishized by the porn industry to the point where women have been shamed into hiding them.
2nd story: as a SAHD I'd say NTA, but we also don't have enough info about the husband. Yes, we know that he drove to school for his kid, but we don't know how he's contributing to the rest of the kids duty. SAH parents have no free time, no vacations or weekends. They're always in their work environment. They work at night when kids can't sleep, they work from 7 am until the kids are in bed. What is the dad doing in the weekend? Is he cooking and helping with chores/kids duty on his free days? Or is OP supposed to do 100% of everything while he is playing golf and watching football with buddy's? When the kids are adults they don't remember dad was the one signing one paper; they remember who picked them up from school and helped with homework, brought them to ballet and cared for them when they were sick. Earning a lot of money as the provider is great, but it's not contributing much memories and support to your family. You just need to earn enough to care for them financially, and the rest of your time is better spent with them rather than earing an extra couple of thousands to buy a more expensive car. Besides, this OP isn't even a SAHM. She's a part-time worker who also does all the childcare and house duties. She's probably making way more hours than her husband. Heck, I already make way more hours than my husband without the part-time job. OP is totally justified to be on her phone or watch a series before cooking dinner. These me-time moments together are the weekend she never has. No human can provide for others 24/7 18+ years without any me-time.
All of these stories were women standing up for themselves against their boyfriend / husband. The fact that they were all left wondering if they were the asshole is sad. Women shouldn't have to apologize for having a period, nor breastfeeding, and for the stay at home moms, you are all such warriors because it takes a lot of work to take care of 3 kids and being forgetful shouldn't result in being monitored for "being lazy."
Fr, as a young woman who has been in toxic and abusive relationships before, this was incredibly sad to read. I hope these women realize their worth soon and leave these manchildren.
I do still think the last one is more nuanced bc yes, it's just breastfeeding and he for *sure* did not handle it well--if he had a problem with it, he should've been much more discreet and gentle--but also, as his wife, she ought to honor him and also be a little bit more discreet around other men. She could throw a shirt on or toss a shawl over the baby or something, it wouldn't be that hard. So I think both of them should be willing to honor the other and be more understanding, honestly. That's my take 🤷♀
Yes...and he was ALREADY, at the office/phone doing what he already do,everyday....Shes hopefully not on the phone,while taking care of EVERYTHING else....
@@msjkrameywhat makes "honour" an outdated nonsense? Did you equate "honour" to "worship" instead of "respect" and immediately got triggered? Why shouldn't a woman honour a man's discomfort at exposing in front of his friends? Why shouldn't a man honour a woman's bodily functions? Why shouldn't they both honour each other's biological differences? Why do you take so much offence to such a good word?
The last one is a great example of the confusion of feelings surrounding breasts. In the USA, which is where I'm guessing that couple is from, breasts are hyper sexualized. They're enhanced, pushed up, thrust out, etc, for people to look at and be titillated by. Based upon this ubiquitous information from mainstream media/ads, breasts are commonly seen as sexual objects, period. Another problem is the "ownership" of the breasts. Men (and/or masculine-presenting people), in the US, tend to claim ownership of their partner. Not all, of course, but it's definitely a thing, and often an unconsciously understood concept. No one usually thinks these ideas/feelings in words, it's just something "everyone knows." You can see this unconscious possession of partners in action when said partners warn off other dudes by saying they already have a boyfriend, and therefore are literally "taken," as if they're an object. You can also see it when women take a guy-friend with them somewhere to warn off other men. Already being "possessed" means less crap to deal with. The other men usually know not to stomp around near another guy's turf, again indicating acknowledged possession and ownership of a person. So, looking at that exchange through those lenses, bro wasn't happy to see his girlfriend showing off her assets (that he believes belong to him) to his friends. When breasts are used for their biological function of feeding an infant, boyfriends (and other partners actually, now that i think about it; derp) can get a whole bunch of nervous/angry feelings surrounding the breasts being exposed. This leads to thought/feeling chains that can feel like this: "They're mine, but they're not being used by me in the current interaction, and they're her body parts, but I'm worried and jealous/angry/confused that anyone is seeing them. I feel like i need to do something, but I'm not sure what." Obviously, that is an attempt at giving words to some feelings, not literal quotes. It would be a lot better for everyone in the US if breasts were less sexualized, and simply seen as the multi functional body parts that they are. Sure, they can be fun during sex, which is awesome, but the taboo surrounding the viewing of breasts and who (outside of the person they're attached to) owns them is only causing problems for everyone.
I find that (I'm in the UK) _incredibly_ disturbing. Here women have the LEGAL RIGHT to breastfeed in public and most establishments will also go out of their way to let women know they are "allowed" to do so ("allowed" because whether the establishment agrees or not, they have the right to do so and the establishment can't, legally, stop them). The idea that this guy raged at his wife (the mother of said child) for daring to breastfeed for what.. 2 minutes in the peripheral vision of him and his mates is disgusting to me. It's appalling behaviour on his part and the idea that she "made his friends uncomfortable"? I'll bet the only thing that made them uncomfortable was his treatment of her in that scenario. The idea that men can "possess" a woman's body merely by being in a relationship with her is appalling. The idea that his gf/wife can't breastfeed in her OWN HOME just because he has mates round is awful. If you're not mature enough to separate "breast feeding" from "BOOBS!", you're not mature enough to have a relationship OR a child.
So true. It's an American thing I think, to over sexualize everything. I moved to Malawi Africa and I've seen SO many more boobs here then any other place or time in my life lol 😂 women will openly breastfeed Everywhere. With boobs and nipples hanging out. It's seen as completely normal. Men will commonly interact with the baby and speak to the mother's without being weird about the boob situation lol women breast feed every Sunday in the pews, side of the road, on the bus, literally Everywhere.
While I do agree with the point about the hyper sexualization of breasts especially when it comes to stuff like breastfeeding, and we obviously need to improve on that front as a society (meaning us men. 😂), I don't think I necessarily agree with you on the point you made about possession. While I'm definitely not arguing that a person literally owns their partner, I do personally believe you kind of 'give yourself' to your partner (assuming you're in an exclusive relationship of course) and therefor your partner imho has the right to: 'warn off other men/women' as you put it. I think it's perfectly fine for a person to 'claim' someone as their own (assuming the other person consents of course. 😂) and be upset when another person wants to 'take' their partner from them. I also think it's not ridiculous to ask your wife, knowing we do live in a society that currently hyper sexualizes breasts, not to have them out in front of your friends. She could have easily just sent him a text saying: 'Breast feeding right now, but I'm hungry, can you make some food for me?' but preferably the husband should've checked up on his wife to see if she needed anything since I'm assuming he knew she was away in her room 'cause she was breastfeeding. That's just how I feel though, I'm aware not everyone agrees, which is fine.
The second one: She isn’t the a**hole because she laid out exactly what she does and ONE of her multiple children’s permission slips weren’t signed when the husband also could’ve signed it prior. He’s clearly weaponizing incompetence and has learned helplessness with a dash of narcissism. If she had ADHD, the household wouldn’t run as well overall but he can operate his concentrated job BECAUSE she runs the background smoothly. This is exactly why so many women (especially SAHM) divorce. Men refuse to acknowledge or respect what it takes to help them elevate. She can run a household, he can’t. The kids will be with her and she’ll be better for it because she won’t have to deal with his issues and prove anything. Men rarely see that they are the wrench in the machine.
💯 it’s not learned helplessness though, that tiktok series misinterpreted the term big time. Learned helplessness occurs after *trying* and failing (and it’s essentially an insecurity), and in relationships like these it’s usually the woman who develops it as it’s the natural reaction to weaponized incompetence, i.e. husband does a terrible job = not gonna even ask him to do chores.
You have no clue what NPD or narcissism are, plus, if anyone is weaponizing their incompetence it would be her. I mean, did we read the same story? Swap the genders in your head and see if your answer remains the same.
That "well, looks like I'm the a$$hole" reaction happened constantly to me when I was on r/AITA: from the moment I joined, to the moment I left. The trick is getting to a post early, being assertive about something that at least five people agree with, and you're home free for winning the entire comment section. And then anybody with even a vaguely oppositional view gets yelled at, lol. There are a minority of r/AITA comment sections that are genuinely nuanced discussions, but it truly becomes an echo chamber in most of the posts I've seen.
I feel like that’s most of how society goes because as a species we realized that there’s strength in numbers, so no one wants to be the one to be the odd man out. I’ve seen a lot of people who don’t actually agree with something, but rather than be the odd one out, they just parrot what the majority are saying.
My favorite discussion by far was all in agreement w this guy who asked if he was the asshole for being horrible to his wife. Apparently after reading the comments he disagreed and said he didn’t want sexist trash thinking he was in the right so he apologized to her and is going to be better
@@orbweaverx See, stuff like that (assuming it's genuine) is incredibly wholesome. Even if the reality of some r/AITA posts is sketchy, the optimist in me would like to think that people sometimes learn valuable lessons from those comment sections.
@@msjkramey To clarify: I'm not specifically calling r/AITA wholesome, but the potential learning that might start there. Some people (rare, but it still happens) do choose to acknowledge and correct their mistakes at some point. Plus, I'd argue that even if the learning of equitable behavior happens to start on a famously sexist subreddit, so be it; they have to start somewhere.
Kids go to school, kids take naps, kids find things to occupy their time. Saying they never get to "leave work" would make sense if kids never leave your house, never sleep, or are terribly disabled in need of constant care/handling
@@armymarshal13 especially as the kid grows and become independent being a SAHP is hardest when the children are younger but by around middle school the child can mostly fend for themselves the parent just needs to provide food supplies, a roof over there head, and to driven places when needed
@@armymarshal13kids finding other things to occupy their time does not equate to there being no work. Yes, children do grow more independent as they grow up, but that doesn't mean the dishes magically clean themselves, the floors sweep themselves, the laundry does itself etc.
@@venus4724 @venus4724 but I thought you said it was 24/7? You doing dishes, sweeping, laundry, and mopping takes you all day long everyday? Just get real. We know and acknowledge being a sahp is a job. Jobs aren't 24/7.
A single parents job is truly 24/7 because they have to both provide and nurture. I wouldn't say that for a sahp unless you have a deadbeat partner.. and it's kinda insulting to those single parents who are doing more than a sahp could even imagine having to handle.
I think people are misunderstanding the second story. It's not a matter of her possibly having ADHD or lacking organizational skills, it's that she's doing more work than can be reasonably managed by one person. A single permission slip slipped through the cracks in a time where things were expectedly more hectic than usual. Checks got mailed out a day later than they should have at a small, privately-owned business. These are very normal things to happen. What's _insane_ is thinking that the solution is to _spy on your spouse_ instead of talking to them about it. Being a SAHM in a five-person household is difficult enough even without throwing in extracurriculars and nonstandard dietary needs. This woman was spied on by her husband and then shamed for [checks notes] sitting down while researching meal ideas and taking a break before getting back to work. That's not okay in any case. Third story, she's only in the wrong if he asked her not to breastfeed in front of his friends beforehand. Otherwise I'm not going to judge a new mother for getting cross when someone tries to interfere with her feeding her baby.
I have mental health problems (turning 22 this year in july) and therefor am not crrently working a job. I made an agreement that I would take care of the entire household and other stuff my siblins need help with (I always did chores around the house and helped my siblings with homework and stuff but now I am basically doing everything else that my mum used to do too while I was still in school). I have 6 siblings and then my parents too. the day FLIES I most of the time start working at 7 a.m. and by the time I have finished cooking and vaccuming it's often already 11:00 - 12:00 a.m. and by the time my mum comes home (at 02:30 p.m. ) I am supposed to already be finished with als the major chores. So I have to rush through mountains of laundry and mopping the floor as quickly as I can and by the time I am finished, I am BEAT and super super tired. Alot of days I can't even go ontoo the 'deep cleaning' like cleaning the windows and stuff but the worst part about all of this is, is that noboody really appreciates the work you do and makes it to be 'easy' and wheneveer you only complain a tiny bit they will stare at you and be like "What Are you complaining about? You have been home all day !"
When someone commented about how her kids 'know she's irresponsible'... I wonder how many times those kids have heard their dad complain about their mom
I was thrown by the verdict of the story story. OP made some mistakes, but they felt like pretty understandable mistakes at the end of the day. When you're busy, stuff falls through the cracks sometimes. And frankly? The permission slip debacle got WAY blown out of proportion. I got a lot of experience with all sides of field trips - as a student who missed the permission slip deadline a couple times, as an instructor in a school, and as someone who handled field trip groups in museums for years. With permission slips, the school just wants to make sure they are legally in the clear to take the kid somewhere. They'll give a "deadline" because it's easier to plan things that way, but most teachers will let kids come so long as they have the permission slip by it's time to board the field trip bus. If the school trip involves going to a place with admission tickets - that's not also a non-issue. Popular field trip destinations (museums, zoos, planetariums, etc) will reserve a bulk ticket package to schools weeks to months ahead of time with an estimated headcount (aka way before the permission trips are often even issued to the kids). If the headcount is different from the estimate when the school trip arrives, no big deal, they will sell extra tickets then as necessary. Unless that estimated headcount turned out to be off by double digits and it's an extremely busy day at the venue- it's literally no big deal and happens all the time. Basically, OP's husband was making a mountain out of a molehill. Is it better to get your permission slips turned in on time? Yes it is. But there was probably no reason he had to drive to the school to personally handle it, and did it purely so he could "prove a point". A phone call and sending the kid in with the permission slip/field trip money the next day would've sufficed. The missing the payment for employees is admittedly a bigger issue but like- why is she handling that if its her husband's company? They're his employees, he should be making sure they're getting paid on time. Unless she's a contracted member of his company, she shouldn't be handling that stuff at all. I don't know, the fact OP's ex husband was treating her like an employee rather than a spouse just kept rubbing me the wrong way. I'm glad she divorced him and I don't think she's the AH at all for that one. Maybe a little disorganized yeah, but like. That's gonna happen when you have 3 kids, regardless of if you have ADHD or not.
As a ballerina I was BEAMING when you said you have huge respect for us! Usually when I tell people I am a ballerina and that ballet is a sport they shrug it off and deny it. THANK YOUUU 🤠🤠
Heck yeah it’s a sport, and an art form. I only took a beginning class back in my community college days and it went from pretty easy to „I‘m going to need a few months to figure that out“ like over night. 🤣
I had a ballerina friend and she had really ripped legs. I was like wow and she was so thin too so she said it looked weird so she stopped doing it. Her legs were like a heavy lifter even after stopping it for 2 years. How is it not a damn sport?
Dance is such a strange mix of gorgeous art form and insanely physically demanding (often competitive) sport that people don't know where to categorize it in their brains. That being said, no one ever paralyzed themselves in a painting accident...
i feel like with the breastfeeding story daniels point with the "i wouldnt want my friends to see my wife's breasts" is completely fine, but that would then have to be a conversation prior and a boundary the wife agrees on which she definitely WOULDNT have to, because breastfeeding should be completely normal, and the guy in the story clearly did not have that convo AND acted like an asshole by making a big deal out of nothing
I personally don't like it when someone whips out a boob with no warning either though. Consent is still important for the other people in the room. I prefer to look away until the nipple is in and then I don't really care, and I understand that slips do happen sometimes
I feel like both parties are in the wrong in this one. She clearly saw her husband didnt like what she was doing and refused to change anything and it seems like her husband just told her to stop what she was doing. They could have compromised like she stays in the bedroom for a while and he preps her some food instead but no, they start fighting. We also dont know the whole conversation, so it's hard to make a fair judgement anyways.
Didn't seem like the husband was making a big deal out of it. Seemed like he was uncomfortable with his friends seeing it and asking her to go back. If they had talked I'm sure they would've found a solution. But in this case the wife said she yelled at him to shut the hell up which escalated the situation.
@@PlayerH_ Sure, but also the husband probably should've said something like "I'd appreciate it if you went upstairs; let's talk about this later" instead of being so insistent about something they hadn't discussed before? Isn't repeatedly begging your spouse to go upstairs *also* kind of escalating the situation? Honestly, I think they both probably mishandled things because neither of them had expected this to be a place where they needed to discuss boundaries, and maybe neither of them is the asshole? They definitely need to have a frank discussion about how they would handle this in the future, though. (I tend to think the wife should have the upper hand here because it's her body and she's just taking care of the baby.)
@@michaels4340 I absolutely agree both of them kinda didn't act perfectly in that situation. There were definitely 2 sides in that argument. I just felt like the comment up top and reddit was a bit one sided that's all.
4:48 I met my bf at 18, we’re both 20, he’s had to get woken up by me because i woke up in a pool of my own blood once due to menstruation complications (pad was soaked, it didn’t shift lol) He was so nice and supportive and caring. It breaks my heart that not everyone has empathy. If he could be centimeters away from my pool of blood and still have empathy although i dirtied his bed, everyone can learn to have some grace when it comes to the things we all deal with. :(
"You divorcing him will finally be you helping around the house" holy fucking shit, dude. She’s a stay at home mom with multiple kids. The adult thing to do is work together to figure out the source of her attention and focus issues, take the appropriate steps to adapt whether it's medication or sticky notes or whatever, and keep an open line of communication. He didn't do that. He filmed her without her consent and got on her case about watching tv in her own home. She is his wife, not his employee.
That poor first woman :( her entire life shamed for something normal. My family and husband always makes me feel comfortable during those days, in every way.
The way you talked about periods was so refreshing. Especially not judging for period underwear. I’ve known several women who would probably shame me for wearing them. Like I’m sorry I have a different preference than you??? Blood’s all going to the same place, it doesn’t REALLY make a difference
The camera thing was whack, definitely not the asshole. I also don't understand why the 16 y/o would call dad instead of their stay at home mom other than to be a narc; but husband totally could have called his stay at home wife to go do the paperwork instead of coming to the school and doing the paperwork himself. He went out of his way to take care of it and not call her so he could cause a huge stink about it and escalate the situation.
Because the mom is obviously lazy and unreliable. The kids know that the dad is the responsible one that they can depend on. Everyone in this comment section is simping for that lazy idiot just because she's a woman.
I don't think you're the ahole, Daniel, for thinking that about the last story. HOWEVER, only because of how society has conditioned people to think about breasts. Boobs are inherently not a sexual part of someone's body; they have one purpose: to feed a child. They SHOULDN'T be looked at like genitalia bc they're not. That's why most people are saying that OP is NTA. The fact that people look at breastfeeding so weirdly is frankly creepy to me; there is nothing sexual about someone feeding their child. Anyone who looks at it weirdly is a creep. (Then, ofc, there's the whole aspect of if men can go around shirtless, why can't women etc. etc.)
You are the weird one in my opinion. You just can't reverse the ingrained instinct of finding breasts sexual. It is not even a fetish, every straight and Bi male will find breasts sexual to a certain extent.
I do agree that's the ideal, but to be fair she *is* living in an English speaking society where openly breastfeeding is not the norm, so I understand why her husband would want her to cover up. Unfortunately the ideal often does not equal the reality
I second this. I don't necessarily blame the husband -- or Daniel -- for having that reaction. In all honesty, I did too. The appropriate thing for the husband to do in that scenario was bring that reaction to his wife privately later, let her explain the same things the commentors on reddit are explaining, and then ask himself about that reaction (just like Daniel did, and I have in my own time.) The wife may still decide to throw on a cover, or she may decide she doesn't want to, and the next appropriate thing for the husband to do is respect either choice and change his way of thinking in the future either way.
No, breasts don't only serve "one purpose." Humans are the only animals with permanent breasts. They're part of our sexual dimorphism, like how peacocks grow impressive feathers to attract peahens. That said, it doesn't mean that a parent should ever be barred from feeding their child by whatever safe method they choose. We need to stop shaming people for taking care of their kids. And we also need to be okay with certain body parts being s*xual. That's not inherently a bad thing. S*x isn't a bad thing
Well well well...MAY I JUST SAY MY GUY, as a 33 year old woman, you are wonderfully mature and a breath of fresh air, you will make the best partner (if you swing that way) to any woman you meet, I was lucky enough to meet my husband who is never shame me or any woman for something so innate to our core being, it was so refreshing to see a younger man be such a realist and a gentleman! I wish you a happy life and happy wife/husband in the future! xxx
My 8 y.o. son grew up with teenage sisters. Understood even at that age, its normal. Even said to me one day when we were out and 1of his sisters rang me 5:12 in tears. "Mum she is on her period, she needs chocolate!" 🤣🥰
Man. I relate to that stay at home mom. Im adhd and bipolar. My husband is a very productive, hard working person. I forget to do important stuff all the time. He used to get so mad at my forgettfulness. And i always felt awful for sitting down and shutting down a lot. We found out about my mental illnesses and it all made sense. He has become so much more gracious and works so hard to love me and not make me feel like im the worst all of the time. He works super hard to try to help me be better too. Poor lady probably feels terrible a lot. It can wreak havoc on your mind to always drop things, forget things, lash out, be overwhelmed, and fail miserably at executive functioning.
wow.... 1st dude. like... pretty sure if you took something to completely knock your cycle OUT it's not very healthy for you. and FFS does he think women like dealing with this monthly crap???? NO. NOBODY LIKES IT. geez and she was so accommodating, too. willing to change what she was doing to not put him out. that's a high class GF right there. and HE must have weird fetishes and stuff going on because all his responses were NOT normal. just wow. and i don't think i've ever seen the underwear looking like a DIAPER so idk what he's talking about. that is just so freaking weird. but mostly, it's like he's shaming her for a natural bodily function that cannot be helped!! wtf. ((EDIT lol and it went here right after i restarted.)) and if suddenly pooping wigged him out? would he tell whoever he was dating to just NOT? jfc.((EDIT lol and it went here right after i restarted.)) yeah, maybe he should try dating a dude.
hey just wanted to let you know that taking birth control to not have a period is usually not harmful! as long as you talk to your doctor and they approve of it then your all good. however no one but your doctor should tell you what medications to take. the boyfriend was way out of line for telling her to change her birth control.
@@trustfulplace3894 You can definitely limit your cycle and there are some long-term options that do work to prevent periods for extended periods of time. But most pill-based options do need you to have your period every once in a while. Such pills can have some negative effects if your body doesn't get to hit "reset" every once in a while. Doctors can advise individuals best depending on need and I'm no expert, just a lady with a period. But, I can say with certainty that no one should be determining what birth control you take based on their opinions on if periods are gross or unattractive.
We really gotta normalize educating everyone about the basics of anatomy. And stop making periods a hush-hush topic. I want to be honest with people in my life about how my body attempts to murder me every month. I would LOVE to live in a country with menstrual leave. Periods are weird and messy, but they are natural. She was doing her best to accommodate and make not only her BF, but from the sounds of it, the other men in her life comfortable in spite of living with her periods. At this point though, I think she deserves to feel like she can openly speak her piece. We are taught to keep it quiet and unseen, but... We're trying to make a bright splash of red invisible. Respectfully, I say we paint the town.
What pisses me off so much too is that HE SURPRISED HER. Like if you're surprising someone, unplanned, things are gonna be surprising. It's part of the deal. It's an insane standard to be upset that someone doesn't look the way you want after you surprise them without warning. Like some times you get lucky and surprises are good and romantic and cute and some times you took a shot and it's kind of a miss. It happens. It's your fault not the other person's fault. Where's the self-awareness ??
It always amazes me how grown men act like children when it comes to periods. Honestly, I use the disposable underwear at night myself and if my SO dared to say anything about it we'd be done as a couple. I date men not little babies who skipped health class in school.
Really like that you admit in the last one that you were wrong. As a breastfeeding mom, it’s a lot of work, stress, time, pain, and judgement. And I don’t need people in my own home telling me how to feed my kid. Having my boob out in MY OWN HOUSE isn’t a big deal. Personally, I’d cover because of my religion. BUT I think op had every right to breastfeed comfortably in her own house. And the friends knew they had a fresh baby. So, that’s on you. When you visit the house of a fresh baby, there’s going to be diaper smell, baby crying, and feeding (either breast or bottle). Anyway, a lot of words to say thank you for admitting your misjudgment and actually correcting it. Thanks.
I'd argue that it's more of a decorum thing. Like, I don't think anyone should be walking around nude right after taking a shower when guests are over and you *know* they're there. Like, the breastfeeding part is the least of my worries. Sure, it's your own home, but that doesn't change that you have guests there. She could've texted the husband and asked him to bring her something to ear, or fuck it, ordered some food and have him bring it to her. I'm not saying she did anything wrong necessarily, but I tend to find even walking around in a towel or something like that, unless you're really close with them, is probably a bit too casual with people you don't know and have only been to your house once. Again, I'm not saying she did anything wrong, but I don't think the guy did anything wrong by asking her to put something on before coming out either.
@@beancheesedip8337 “a bit too casual with people you don’t know” that are in her home after she just had a baby. When you go to a house with a newborn, you either are accepting that there might be breastfeeding or you don’t go. While, yeah, walking around in a towel is weird with guests over, walking around while breastfeeding your newborn shouldn’t be shocking
@tabathaalshalhoub1653 I'm not saying it's shocking or anything, but more that it just seems a bit too casual, at least in my opinion. At home, there are areas you can sequester yourself off in that ensure a reasonable amount of privacy while also acknowledging that yes, they may have to leave to feed the baby. The reason I don't care about it in public is because, in public, there's no easy way to find privacy and when the baby's hungry, the baby's hungry. It's kinda like having guests over and not closing the door behind you when you use the bathroom. Like, sure, it's a normal bodily function, and it's your house, but there's at least some expectation that you won't expose yourself when you don't need to.
@@beancheesedip8337 you just compared shitting to eating. Is it weird to watch someone eat? We should be hiding ourselves when we eat? I mean, it’s not a 43 bedroom estate manor with different wings. It’s an apartment. And she did isolate herself until she absolutely needed to eat. Why is the pressure on her instead of the people over? Clearly they’ve been there a long time. They’re expecting her to just never leave her room?
I will and always stand by my saying of “I can feel grossed out by my period I’m the one sitting in my blood you don’t get to be grossed out by my period cause you’re not the one dealing with it”
Which story to go with this I said this one time to a few friends when I said we need to stop by a bathroom and they said can’t I just hold it for a while and I was like actually no it’s not so I can go pee it’s so I can change my pad and they were like oh that’s so gross and I’m like yes I do feel gross that’s why I would like to change my pad and they kept going at it until I finally told them my saying I get to feel gross not you you just sit there and hear me say change my pad and all of a sudden it’s gross like I’m not making you change it or hold it in fact nobody noticed I was on my period til I mentioned it so tell me again what’s so gross to you because I don’t see you actually dealing with the shit I’m dealing with right now. Like seriously guys if you ever think hearing about a girl casually mention her period is gross imagine how we actually feel gross. You’re not actually dealing with what we are so there’s really no reason you should feel grossed out like you don’t deal with the bleeding or the pains or feel awkwardly sweaty or pretending like your ok when you just want to cry you just watch us experience all that and that’s it
This is my favourite thing of a man talking about periods thing I've ever seen ever. The searches had me both cackling with laughter, and appreciating the effort
Imagine if all people did some simple research when they don't understand or have enough knowledge about things? The world would be so much nicer. Honestly this should be way higher up on the priority list of what to teach people when raising children, educating people at any age, et cetera...
For the second story, it wouldn't even matter if he was right about her being lazy. The moment someone, especially your spouse, puts a secret camera in the house to film you is the moment one should walk away. I would never trust my spouse ever again.
My question is why was OP in charge of sending out the paychecks to her husband’s employees? If her husband knows she can be distracted and forgets things, it seems like he set her up to prove his point and justify installing cameras…
13:55 theres nothing sexual with breastfeeding a kid, and his friends werent evem bothered. Why should she need to hide herself when feeding her kid like its a sinful act or anything?
Agreed, she is just feeding there baby. But he tried to make it seem like it's something sexual and it's disgusting knowing people think or act like him, those moms are just feeding there babies. Are the babies supposed to starve since breastfeeding is such a"sexual/sinful" thing??
Yeah honestly about that last post I feel like if my girlfriend would feel comfortable breastfeeding in front of my friends then that's her choice. I'm not gonna make choices about her body, especially when it's concerning a completely natural, non-sexual thing such as breastfeeding. Especially when it's in your own home. That woman had accepted that his friends might see her breastfeed their child. And I don't think it should be anyone else's choice but hers. If it was my girlfriend I would trust that she doesn't intend to "provoke" (because she's only fucking breastfeeding) and that would be that. And if I thought my friends could possibly view it as sexual then that would only mean I would've chosen shitty, creepy perverts as friends. Breastfeeding isn't sexual and the amount of people who thinks it is honestly creeps me out.
This! The idea that people should have to cover up while breastfeeding, honestly even in public, is sexist and uncomfortable. Frankly, it's a double standard that people with breasts are legally required to cover them in public, and those who don't aren't required to cover their chests, save for individual businesses' policies.
I think the thing about the breastfeeding one is that treating it as if it's weird/inappropriate/something to be ashamed of implies that there's something inherently sexual about it, even though it is just a parent feeding their child
Normalize none sexual nudity. If a woman wants to breastfeed with a breast out, no one should be approaching that sexually or awkwardly and if they are I think they need to work on that with a therapist, as there's nothing sexual or uncomfortable about a woman breastfeeding. I personally have a lot of family members who I care about deeply who breastfeed publicly and I have never once felt awkward or uncomfortable by them breastfeeding in front of me. Feels boomer asf to care, imo.
Most people would want a heads up so that they can look away because it feels personal to see (even if not in a sexual context). Now if that's right or wrong, that's a whole other discussion. But I don't think it's fair to tell others to just suddenly be okay with seeing boobs in public on full display. I do think society should get more accustomed, but during that transition, it would be better to simply give people a heads up on this since it is a subject that would need societal shifting to change. Is it a fair situation? Probably not, but I also can't blame people for seeing breasts and immediately feeling like they should look away unless the context calls for it.
@@vixxcelacea2778 I definitely think the burden is on the uncomfortable person to look away, not the person breastfeeding to warn them. If someone isn’t with the times, the times shouldn’t slow down for them, they should get with it or get out of the way. It’s not fair, you’re right. If they can’t handle it they should get told off, just like in the post. No one is saying you can’t look away or excuse yourself. This post is about putting blame on a person who’s breastfeeding for what is natural and good. Furthermore, it’s about breaking down years of oppression placed on women by men regarding what they can and can’t do with their bodies. It feels very much in service of the patriarchy to maintain discomfort around this. If it’s something the woman wants kept private, she will keep it private. Once she’s chosen to breastfeed publicly, it’s on the person who dislikes seeing it to handle themselves how they feel appropriate (leaving, looking away, apologizing and clarifying they’re uncomfortable with that and have that conversation at a later date with the person.) There’s like a million ways to handle it but imo trying to say that there should be a “transition” where people get heads up is just patriarchal systems talking. F that S, straight to public breastfeeding.
This one is weird for me. While I agree we should def normalize non-sexual nudity, I don't wanna tell people "if it makes you uncomfortable, you're wrong". I personally don't see a problem or feel uncomfortable around public breastfeeding either, at the end of the day, it's up to the woman how and when she chooses to feed her baby and we should be able to at least respect that and not try to control it regardless of how we feel about it. I know my mom used to use a breastfeed cover so she could breastfeed in public without having her boobs out, but again, that was her choice to make. Definitely agree that it's on the uncomfortable person how they choose to react though. Even if it's not sexual, public nudity is something that a lot of people get uncomfortable about so nobody would (or at least should) mind if you had to excuse yourself or look away just for a moment.
YES. People don't ask others to hide when they're eating a bag of crisps, why should feeding your baby only be done in private?! Boobs aren't genetalia, it's a means of nutrition
I breastfed my baby in my friends' private box for a baseball game, with friends of theirs I didn't fully know, because they understood feeding a baby happens whenever/wherever (my husband was fully on board for this). No one sees anything unless they're trying to, which is on them. If your husband feels overly protective, who tf is he hanging out with?
@@phoenixfreefall Not everybody is comfortable with everything and i don't see how invalidating the guy and insulting him for voicing his discomfort would be appropriate. I'm not saying she shouldn't breastfeed, just that escalating like that doesn't seem healthy for the relationship.
@@Yoshimitsu293 she explicitly stated that the friends just went back to what they were doing after realizing what was going on. it seems to me the only person who was uncomfortable was the husband, and in that case, he needs to sort out some personal issues. the woman is absolutely not the asshole.
Counterpoint: The channel called The Click. Just found him a few months ago and he's mega wholesome, in an opinionated and protect-the-vulnerable way just like Daniel. Great vibe, I wish more reddit reactors would be so high-effort and that kids were watching people like both of these guys.
Wasn't expecting AITA content here, but I'd be down for more, really appreciated how open Daniel was about looking up stuff he didn't know, and also admitting he might be wrong about his judgement.
I did not expect to see Reddit AITA content, but I welcome it. And upon skipping to a random time in the video... Yes, at 11:09 you are absolutely correct. Chrysler is form over function as a car brand and I'll always mock it as such.
The one and only time my family ever owned a Chrysler it was a dud right off the lot. Newer car too, I think it was only a year or two old when we got it. Thing broke down so often. Spent more time in the garage than it did on the road, ended up getting a late 90s accord that was beat to shit and that thing ran so much better than the Chrysler. If I wanted to work on my vehicle that often, I’d get a Harley Davidson motorcycle or a Saab.
Rather than ADHD, the second woman (in her mid to late 40s) is probably peri-menopausal. It can cause absolute chaos to you and your ability to think. I'm not that age yet but I have a lot of friends who are in that stage, and honestly, I'm burying my head in the sand about it at the moment because it sounds absolutely horrendous. I don't know how worldwide available the video is, but Davina McCall did a documentary about the menopause and it's been very highly commended.
For the breast feeding thing, it really depends on what she means by covering up. As a mother who breastfed I would take that to mean she had a blanket over her, and at home she didn't. There are shirts and bras made specifically for that and without a blanket the only thing anyone's going to see is baby's head and maybe a bit of the top of your boob, not any worse than a low cut shirt. That's what I'd assume she meant by not 'covering up'. If she were full on topless I think she'd have said that.
Actually HUGE respect for straight up admitting you were in the wrong on that last one. Imo, breastfeeding is a totally natural and normal thing that women shouldn't need to cover up for, even in public. That, and being able to recognize where you're wrong and admit it says a lot about you as a person. That's something I'm not often able to do...
It seems absolutely crazy to me that some "adult" people can't handle a mom feeding her baby and demand that the poor, helpless baby that doesn't understand anything of what's going on has to wait or be covered, which shrouds it in darkness out of seemingly nowhere! If adults can't handle an exposed boob, how is a baby supposed to handle that?! Granted, as a gay man I don't understand why boobs are sexualized in the first place, so there's that... 😅 I also HATE that society hangs such a heavy shame over nudity (and sex)! I think we'd all feel much more comfortable in our bodies and more at peace if we weren't made to feel ashamed of our naked body, to the point that we can't even shower at a public bath naked or change into our swim clothes on the beach without holding a towel around our body or having some other way to hide it. I mean, just the fact we even need special clothes for swimming that only hinder our ability to glide through the water, if anything! 🤦
Its just a matter of religion. Humans have been covering up since genesis if you are a christian. I think in these shared discussions the most important aspect is neglected. Which is the only real argument in favor of covering up. The baby in this scenario only had to handle 10 seconds while the wife walked into another room of the house. Because this woman was in her house this scenario becomes not debatable. Its not like she is being held hostage at a bank at gun point and not being allowed to move. I bet the husband then wouldn't have minded if the whole world saw her from live footage of the incident. She basically betrayed him, I don't think they will last long.
Also. The one part about breasts that's censored is the nipples. Which men also have. And frankly, have you ever looked up closely at ANY nippel? They look like big warts. Warts that are meant to feed kids. The thing u likely suckled on as a baby yourself. Like. Wtf. Yes, you are allowed to have kinks and preferneces but don't turn that into moral norms for everyone else.
@@你好-戦have you ever had to remove a baby from your breast mid feed. Because when I did I spurted all over the place. Would hubby prefer having milk leaking all over the place while she got food. I know my experience isn't universal but it's common enough to consider as a possibility
people treat breasts as genitals which really irks me :/ their purpose is to nourish a tiny little human being.... why are they making it s/exual? breasts aren't even unhygienic! I get it for like, the actual downstairs, because they can spread diseases, and they are very sensitive and need protection, but breasts are just.... there.
@@你好-戦 How is it betraying him? she's just performing a perfectly normal function, she's feeding the baby, it's not like she went to stand in front of them and flashed them. And the guys didn't even seem uncomfortable until the man and the woman started shouting at eachother. I think she was a bit rude, but so was he, they shouldve discussed boundaries after the friends left.
I made a comment on the boobie feeding post, I misread the post and I thought she was breastfeeding infront of his friends. Then I got called some heinous names, they did not correct me. I figured it out myself. My karma is burning in hell with how low it is.
The mass-downvoting truly gets excessive, lol. You'd think people would refrain from downvoting or replying once the comment has been hidden by moderators, 36 people have replied, and you've already received your 109th downvote. Nope.
I once asked a question for clarity because I’d been in a similar situation. I was downvoted to the seventh circle of hell, lol. I think there’s a lot of young people commenting there who can’t quite see gray scale yet.
Damn there's so much shit to unpack in that first story: 1: OP's (male) family is misogynistic trash, at least ehen it comes to period care, like WTF? She had to toss her "waste" outside like it's some bioweapon? How can their own family make someone feel so disgusting? 2: Dude is THIRTY and still has roommates? Why are the roommates even relevant in the consideration to move together? Did he seriously suggest to OP to move in with him *and his roommates* instead of either kicking the roommates out or buying/renting a new flat together? No wonder he's immature! 3: His fault for touching you down there without consent, that's the gross part here! 🤢 At least I assume OP didn't consent after having been just woken up while bleeding heavily. As anyone who isn't a manbaby knows, being in a relationship doesn't mean automatic consent at all times and this is one darn good reason why it doesn't! 4: He wouldn't see her as wearing a diaper if he wasn't an actual baby, mentally. He'd understand it's something else if he was a proper adult! 5. Period is a fetish, you heard it here first! 6. Is OP f@cking serious?! Nobody should change their preferred method of dealing with bad periods for their clueless, immature partner! Stand up for yourself, woman! Your health and pain is more important than his misguided feelings! 🤦 7: it's absolutely disgusting that women are made to feel so gross, guilty and insecure about their periods, that they can seriously question who's the A-hole in this case! Jesus! OP should've ran from that manbaby long ago! So glad the redditors were supportive and opened her eyes.
On point 2, don't shame a guy for having roommates. Shit is expensive, not everyone is in the best position financially especially these days. Stick to the actual shitty things.
ADHD is underdiagnosed in women because it tends to present differently than it does in boys and men. It's more often the inattentive type, and hyperactivity takes the form of hyperactive thoughts and speech, although when we would talk a lot, we'd just be dismissed as "chatty". I'm a 41 year old woman, and I was just diagnosed with ADHD-C this week (meaning that I tick at least five boxes in each of the two categories of criteria), and ADHD wasn't even on my radar until 6 months ago. There's a whole "lost generation" of women who weren't assessed as girls. I think it would be worthwhile for the OP from the second story to get an assessment.
People commenting on the divorce story are forgetting that this post is just a sliver of the OP's life, for all we know the husband could have other problematic behaviors that weren't directly relevant to the story and this was just the last drop. Also, those who were talking about her not mailing the paychecks didn't seem to register that it should be his responsibility, as it's his business, no?
@12:50 uhm wow! The way you judged the story and then seeing the comments is exactly how I was thinking. I’m a lot like this lady I have really young kids and I’m just busy all the time. I forget things all the time and I’m responsible for a lot of my husbands work related things, and no, I’m not hired btw it’s just expected that I should do things. I’m sure I have adhd been thinking it for a long time. I’m trying my best to manage things but people don’t know how overwhelmed I am. My husband has more of the opposite views kinda like the comment section you were reading. It’s devastating because I see how he’s right but I swear I’m doing my best and it’s just not enough. Can’t tell you how many times I cry when I’m alone because I expect better of myself but always fall short of my expectations
I'm sorry but being a mom is such a hard job, especially when it's just you on top of chores. No matter what people say, you are doing the best you can and that's all that matters. Your husband isn't right, he doesn't have to go through the struggle you go through
The problem with reddit is there are absolutely crazy and never give OPs the benefit of the doubt. Thats why i love videos like this bc you treat the OP like a person.
So glad my husband wasn’t up tight about me breastfeeding openly in our own house. Anyone that was uncomfortable with it could look away or leave. He wouldn’t have even cared if I did it in public too but I at least covered up when we were out.
Maybe instead of shaming women for breastfeeding, we should shame men for sexualizing it. Dude should tell his friends to stop looking if he doesn’t want other people seeing his wife’s chest.
For the first story. That sucks for her, when I had my first period I excitedly told my brother and dad about it. I have really bad cramps and my brother used to heat my hot packs and bring me food growing up. I can't believe that she has been around so many men who were grossed out about periods.
I have a period. It grosses me out, and I often wish I didn’t have it (I’m not having kids, at least not any that come from me). However, I don’t think it’s gross for someone to have a period. The period itself might be gross, but thats mostly because the person having it has to deal with all the crappy stuff. The woman in the first post clearly has been affected by most of her family shaming her for having a period. She should not have to be concerned about how anyone else will view her during her period. Like wtf. Those people clearly think the world circles around them.
This. Everyone uses the bathroom. I'm not gonna sit and gush about how awesome it is to pee or have any delusions that my poop smells nice because it's "natural." It's fine to be grossed out, but be able to handle the reality of the organic human body with out it affecting your life or how you think of others. Periods are the same. You don't treat anyone differently know that they absolutely have taken a fat shit at least once in their life. That's called not being able to handle reality.
With the second one, considering the permission slip thing, it's possible more than just a signature was required, they're might have been some medical info needed or something like that
the first girl i feel so bad for, a guy full on stopped talking to me because i bled through and he saw it. not even around our mutual friends. granted we were 16 but still. 30 year old shouldn’t be in the same place as a 16 yo boy.
