Half in the Bag: The 70-Minute Rise of Skywalker Review 

he didn't zap himself in Jedi really

@@sonoftheway3528 Yes he did

R very video gamey

Forgot to put XP into poise.

It's like poetry. It rhymes.

That's pretty much my approach to this trilogy. Also, it's cheaper.

Don’t give Disney your moneyz

In the same boat

I completely agree with this statement

This is the new wave. I like it.

It's like a Greek tragedy, the hubris of the viral Plinkett reviews followed by the inescapable nemesis of JJ Abrams. The director he himself chose.

you are delirious

@@saucyduckglobalomnihyperme7510 "Choose the form of your destructor"

He also halted the release of Penn Jillette's movie due to his Plinkett review.

@@Tacheonblack lmao

Was just thinking that. This is like the 10th time (or more!) that I've watched this and I STILL haven't seen TROS.

Saaaaame

Same lmao

Same 😂

The thing is, if you can, watch at least the first 10 minutes, it's one hell of an experience. This review emphasizes how ungodly fast the movie introduces stuff and drops it immediately, but it has to be seen to be fully understood. The title crawl mentiones that Palpatine is back and by the 4 minute mark, Kylo Ren has fought against some randos that support Palpy, obtains a "wayfinder" to get to Palpy, has a conversation with him about how Snokes was just a sock puppet, how Kylo will kill Palpy and then Kylo swears allegiance to him. You can't even fathom how bizarre it is to watch a movie that feels like it has enough plot for a trilogy but rushes through them at 3x speed.

As he was falling.

@@tastyloaf5487 You'd be surprised how many lead-lined refrigerators a Death Star requires. They're all over the place.

@Dan C Sounds crazy, but it just might work!

I was hoping rey would remove her mask revealing she was palpatine the whole time. Would have made all the weird sexual tension between herself and Ben even funnier.

He used the midi-chlorians to create that fridge.

🤣🤣

Pinkhair Machinima lol

Love this comment loll

*the white-eyed

Gandalf kicked him in the nuts on the way down

😆😆😆

Welcome to planet "Intolerable Mud"@@samuelhatlestad6676

She used the Force to blow his soul apart like the Emperor did to Horus

If You are really One with The Force, any weapon would be a Distraction. You Do Not need them. @@milliondollarmistake

I've already won,. I don't care anymore.

There gonna need to find a new one now

Not Jay, he never gave a shit

Picard really did damage to Mike

@@robertbowen1892 First it's William Shatner, now it's Picard.

Star wars Lost Hope

Bro. I feel that somewhere deep within me. I was saying "oh fuck off" for a majority of the movie.

Yeah sorry about that. Couldn’t hold it in

I couldn't help myself and just burst out gaffawing with laughter. Like it was 1889

I remember people in my cinema laughing when Rey destroyed the First Order transport shuttle with force lightning.

By that point of the movie, I didn't care. In my mind, this movie killed my love for Star Wars & officially soured my view of Disney.

AHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA Best one so far XD

this is it chief.

Successful reference that I get

Aww man... wish I'd thought of that. lol

I like the bit where you said a funny

"Rey Skywalker? Eyyyy! I used to own two of ya! Come here, I'll show ya where I used ta beat your great great grandma!"

She tries to use the force on him and he says his species is immune to the force.

​@@Avalon_1991ah but it's Rey. Somehow she'd have super duper Jedi mind tricks 🤦 I really hate Rey. I'm a full on Reycist

​@@Avalon_1991 This sets up the Yuuzhan Vong trilogy

Oh no

Idk it’s nowhere as bad as this trash fire

@@Pixelkipyeah but they ruined the show after two seasons. The one lightning in a bottle gem Disney have had with this IP and they got greedy and ruined it.

@@Jellybob69 Season 3 was fine, and it's over now anyway.

@@SonicBoyster it’s was shit and killed the mainstream appeal of the show

Ya WTF lol

_scratches head._

@Peyglo so he knew Ben would fail in killing her. Again. Makes sense to me.

@Peyglo "Yeaahhh, that's the ticket!" - Disney Writers Team

Palpatine: ''kill me and my spirit will take over your body'' Rey bounces the force lighting back, killing Palpatine. Palpatine: ''wait...did I win?'' (checks the script)

Lando and the droids are still alive

Lando horny af Honestly it’s really creepy

@Captain McDog Holy shit.

“Chewbacca: A Star Wars Story” will just be ninety minutes of Chewie getting blackout drunk and crying while wearing his medal.

@@KMmusic316 Lando isn't in A New Hope, droids can get rebuild. So technically Chewie was there since the start.

It’s amazing how well they recreated Rich Evans. The AI voicing is on point. I honestly kept forgetting he’d tragically died from AIDS-related diabetes, and he had been edited in with pre-shot footage and CGI for the rest. Just incredible.

Gotta clap for red letter media.

Very cool.

Very cool, Alex.

@@assassino1480 Very cool.

LOOK IT’S MAZ KANADA

And Jay’s wheeze laugh after that, classic

Isn't that exactly what Disney just did?

timmd909 Exactly.

nO oNe's evEr REally goNe

The old story will resurrect again, to defeat evil once more

Just as a corpse that is presented to us as if it's still alive, Ray is trying to rise as a Skywalker. STAR WARS: Rise of a Poser.

I've been fucking thinking about this for a week, I can't sleep. Just imagine that "pfffttHAAHAAHAIIIIIIIiiiahaaaHaah!!"

i would be able to die a happy hack fraud.

@@rotaku4946 I don't think you understand, I was being serious. Get that stick out of your ass apart from the "cant sleep" part ofc

I've been to Milwaukee. Rich laughing would be a welcome improvement.

I would cum instantly if I heard the sweet ambrosia of his laughter

I think this must be an inkling of what it felt like to be alive for the construction of the great pyramids y'know? The work of the kingdoms finest artisans, skilled masons & painters, thousands of menial workers, talented engineers... The sort of force that could truly transform the kingdom, Irrigate the desert build houses for all... Instead though the pharoh decided we'd build a big dorito to stick his dead body in, so that's what we're doing. Tens of thousands of talented people essentially wasted years of their life because some corperate execs had no clue what they were doing and didn't care enough to find out.

@@ummdustry5718 That has to be the funniest description of the pyramids I've ever seen.

It's a pity, but hardly a surprise. The company knows their audience will pay for low-grade, thrown together, poorly planned crap. SW is a dead story that isn't worth paying a cent for anymore.

Kathleen Kennedy ruined Star Wars out of spite because George Lucas didn't toss her salad

@@stellviahohenheim What an extremely funny comment /s

This is getting out of hand

Isabelle Now there are two of them!

Hard to believe Star Wars drew influence from Greek tragedy and myth once upon a time...

nbr1rckr I hope it will draw from Greek economy now

Seeing the youtube rips of the palpatine scenes I thought it couldn't get dumber after "Empress Palpatine". Then I saw the two lightsabers scene and couldn't stop laughing. the scenes with Palpatine are probably the best parts of the movie, too.

Just like most of the fans, really.

@@oddskymikha8185 Just like most of Star Wars' cast to be honest. New and old alike.

To be fair it was probably the hatred from fans who turned him off of it lol

Fox at first he was thinking wow these fans suck 3 movies later he was thinking “yea this shit fucking sucks”

as someone who didn't really get into the franchise I can enjoy the first 6 films for telling one long narrative even if they all have issues their fun movies..i actually don't think their poorly made they just bore me....I have not seen any of the star wars-disney films lord of the rings twilight or marvel comic book films recently since this universe started with what iron man in 2007...i'm better for it...could care less about these franchises...star was is watchable but only by lucas...the clone wars cartoons have been great...the series should continue animated...its just easier...guys get over it...go watch some anime...that will make you forget star wars

I agree. He’s doing the best he can given his health.

I saw him on an episode of NCIS years ago and thought there was no way he's going be in any of the new SW movies when they were announced. But dammit, Disney gets what Disney wants.

He shouldnt have been in the movie

@@NC-ck5oj The movie shouldn't have been - don't blame actors for wanting to work, only a very select group can actually pick and choose.

I don't think anyone's blaming him for his performance, I think people are blaming Disney for dragging the poor old man into this shitshow

Same here

I really thought i was the only one who does that. I listened to it a 120 times

@@ExploderMaster18 The key is finding which episodes where there's not too many Rich laughs to wake ya haha

I thought I was the only one that uses RLM as ASMR

@@10ToesDownWithBass My Go to for sleepless nights: Rise of Skywalker or Ghostbusters 2016 reviews lol!

@Autismo or how necesary was Luke's sacrifice. Last Jedi ended with his dead inspiring future generations, but in this one it inspired nothing and Lando had to be the one bringing the reinforcements.

He's the Coolest Cat in the Galaxy!

@@DS8379 Even in senile form.

@sonoki82 Lots of L3's filling the sky there.

I still don't understand why the First Order was so strong.Return of the Jedi implied that the Galactic Empire had died and that a New Republic had been born.

Yes, and palpatine reviewing blue prints and schematics

@@simond7225 and then he shouts "I already work around the clock!"

Using force lightning to weld the metal parts

While doing his laugh & shouting "ULTIMATE POWER!" every so often. 🤪

"No, this one goes HERE, that one goes... MUAHAHAHAHA ULTIMATE POWER"

There’s been a lot thrown at ST 09 and Into Darkness, but after all the Star Wars and Star Trek movies and shows that have come out since, those two look like modern masterpieces in comparison.

@@bencarlson4300 i disagree, the trek movies are still unwatchable, mostly because of what they ushered in

@@youtubeaccount697 They did lead to the sequel trilogy and current trek, so it would objectively be better if they never existed. I still like them.

@@bencarlson4300 I mean I really do enjoy ST 09 and Into Darkness because their just genuine good films and really fun to watch. What the fuck were they doing in Beyond.

I'll say Star Trek 2009 looks like a masterpiece by comparison but Into Darkness is still an infruiatingly stupid movie and will always been absolute trash as far as I'm concerned. The sheer number of plot holes, contrivances, and just all around idiocy is too much for me to deal with.

7th grade level writing & I'm not even kidding.

It's one of the continuing wonders of being an adult - that ever growing understanding of how unwise many adults are, and with how little sense the world is run.

Icedout They did ???

Adults that payd 4 billion to do it

Best damn comment I’ve ever seen regarding the new films.

GamerGod91 Holy shit you’re right! George Lucas directed this video!

THE rich Evans??

It broke new ground!

Yeah next time there's a HitB, Jay Jay Abrams should direct it. He knows how to make an engaging film review -- not *write* one, mind you, but shoot one.

There's a kind of poetry to it. It rhymes.

Rian Johnson isn't a VCR repairman. Yet.

bobrocks79 he will be

@@bobrocks79 rain saved sw tho

@@bobrocks79 at least he tried to save it if it wasn't for 9..

@@gkay8889 Star Wars didn't even need "saving" until The Last Jedi came out!

How's that spinach?

Yeah I know, you weren't even on the premiere of this movie

The review is better than the actual film tbf

The sad thing is you COULD be the real George Lucas and I would still believe you.

Thanks George.

Hundreds of ships carrying 40,000+ personnel each, all hidden…..under ice. Got it.

100% right! Remember in No Country for Old Men when Josh Brolin just wandered around aimlessly, and then Javier Bardem is introduced as a killer and immediately hit by a car? It was genius!

@@toboraton exactly! Or like in Kill Bill where the Bride traveled around the world, seeing the sights, and then in the last 10 minutes of the movie Bill showed up and shot her in the head but she recovered instantly and got up and killed him!

A tank of Plinketts

@@AGoodVibe jar*

Had to do something with all the dead hooker bodies

His existence itself is like poetry, it rhymes...

@allright715 MIND BLOWN!!!

And it doesnt matter who wins the argument, because the mood is already ruined. :/

@@Ryuouken and now you dont even know if you want to go to the next party anymore

@@CERTIFIEDBABEWRANGLER Oh I know. I'm not going :P "wasted potential" really captures it.

Aaaaaaaahhh 🤣🤣🤣👌 …but also, you're kinda interested how the trainwreck argument ends

@@nobu9705 yeah but you're not gonna bring as much beer or chips as you did the last time

But it needed the @275 million movie for it to mean anything.

@@rvllctt871 Good point :)

ive watched it 20 times today already

Watched this review like 40 times in total and I still haven't watched the actual movie.

@@biohead66 same here 😅

It's a lovely little piece of art. Three friends shooting the shit discussing a horrible movie ends up being far more entertaining than the movie itself.

Rich Evans is truly a visionary. Such inspirational words.

Perfect for the Blu Ray cover.

Macbeth?

@Descartes' Apparition I think Shakespeare was quoting superstar Rich Evans.

At what moment he say that?! I just lost it,just like everything in the rise of skywalker

My family tells me this all the time followed by why can't you just enjoy the movie? My answer is always analyzing the movie can be just as much fun as watching it.

Oh those people are very real. That's the GA in a nutshell.

Cody Stork if the movie is good. Analysis makes it so much more enjoyable. You can get into It, and spend more time in your life thinking about it instead of just absorbing the colors and sounds for the duration of the movie.

Memes! The DNA of the soul!

I kept my brain on and seriously enjoyed this movie. The funniest film I've seen all year long.

how would you know?

Its called a browser extension

This is my 4th time here, I think. I hate how reliably entertaining these lads are.

@@Metallijosh100 Another channel you might like if you like or at least have a passing interest in comic books is ComicPop. They have that similar RLM vibe of just regular Joe's with integrity who chat and joke about the good, bad, and ugly in comic books. Their Back Issues series of videos is as addicting for me as these guys are, and I feel like they deserve way more subs than they have now.

Watched multiple times. More than 6 times at least. Only seen movie once

I've tried to watch the entire Rise of Skywalker but I've watched this well over two dozen times

It's my favorite fall asleep video what can I say

I clapped because I recognize all your references!

@@DarthRaven9000 I clapped because I know RLM!!!!!!!

"Let me guess - Tuesday?"

EmPalBeaConFac

Most of the budget went to constructing the planet-destroying belly guns that had to be fitted to 1500 Star Destroyers.

Toys

Kylo kills his homies who did nothing but shadow him.

They should have been central characters in Episode VIII, developed as part of Kylo’s story, except that film was totally wasted

They were a throwaway line in ep7 and people got over hyped.

@@ZaxxonHK47 No they were hyped by Disney. Dont blame the viewers for what the corporate failed to deliver upon.

My friend organised a star-wars marathon last year, all nine movies over one long weekend. We started out with six or so people, only me and him stuck around for the sequels, and I was only there for his sake.

We'll always have the OT

Or 110% Mike's fault.

Not only possible, it's exactly what happened.

did he really?

@@poppag8281 Mike Stoklasa's behind it all!

@@tukkek I can't believe Mike ruined this trilogy.

Please don't. Otherwise I'd have to go watch Cats... (not really)

MEMORIES!!!!!!! (Echoing vomit noises)

You mean pussies

K-Shizzle Bizzle The real truth

Cats is the worst thing to happen to Cats since Dogs.

I'm almost 100% sure they were a major inspiration for TFA essentially being the anti-prequel movie at its core (which is why Mike was so soft on and receptive to it initially despite being all the thing he hates about Hollywood in that era when it came to its corporate fan service cynicism and lazy sequel boot status.) Practical effects galore, action and (shallow) character stuff over exposition and clumsy world building. Cinematography telling its own story in a dynamic and exciting way, etc. TLJ in spirit followed it's example only it set out to kill Star Wars as a whole and rebuild it in Rian's perverted image.

I guess Mace wanted Anakin to strike him to make the Emperor think he's the one winning.

The Homo Demen yah I think so. I was really hoping Mace would show up for round 2.

@@elijahrusso5403 samuel l Jackson is too busy with a successful cinematic universe

@@Bl4ckD0g Has anyone in Star Wars ever died from falling into anything?

Mace couldn't do that because he's wasn't a Gary Stu.

That would be a pretty fun prank to play with some bluetooth speakers spread out inside a theater.

I'd pay for that experience

...and you just hit on the only way I would possibly pay money to see this movie. If I knew when/where in Milwaukee our heroes went to see RoS, I would totally have bought a ticket, just on the chance to savor one of that man's guffaws.

hughJ that laughing voice is my force ghost..... now I have hope for the challenges ahead 😜

Followed by a "I FUCKING LOVE STAR WARS!"

Due*

Not to mention the lightsabers were buried in the exact same place Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru were slaughtered by Stormtroopers 40 years ago. Like fuck Rey, could you have picked a more cursed place to bury Jedi relics?

do you want sith relics? because this is how you get sith relics

You just know Disney is already writing a story about a couple of teens who go out playing by the old abandoned farm and stumble across those lightsabers...

@@shockwave2291 Fucking Mustafar, just next to where Anakin burned or under Vader's castle, or maybe Palps palace/ex Jedi temple, just where Anakin slaughtered the younglings

You have to bury it in Tatooine because you need to finish this trilogy with the setting twin suns. Because Star Wars.

I feel bad for her it wasn't her fault.

Sounds like the norm for a role in star wars.

@Oligoden Sadly, I suspect she'll end-up typecast as a result of Disney making her the face of their debacle.

@@DavidLLambertmobile she is a solid actor but, she is not athletic at all! Everytime she does something physical it's as if my old ass grandmother is her aunt double.. she looks awful swinging a lightsaber!!

Imagine being Mark Hamill cast into a dream role and , 3 or whatever decades later, it becomes a nightmare.

You made the right choice

Same, never watched episode 9, and episode 8 was pretty much the last nail on the coffin. Stayed until the end though, figured I'd at least get my money's worth (even though I hadn't realized I had unintentionally paid for a masochism session). By the time the credits rolled in, I thought "My *bones* are aching, I better get home quick"

Taking on the Solo name would honestly have made WAY more sense. Rey was very close to Han and Ben. She had a complicated relationship with Luke, and Leia certainly had issues with the Skywalker name given that Vader destroyed her home world.

No it’s “I don’t have people. I’m alone.” So Rey....Rey Incel!”

Lmao yeah lea, han and Ben were all named solo. She new Luke for like 1 day. What a slap in the face.

Ma-Rey Sue

Patric Maloney wouldoyqrir

Even the visuals. The shot at the beginning with all the zombie star destroyers sitting in an uniform distribution in the sky looks like some previz an intern made in a few minutes using Blender, not a final shot in a multi million dollar blockbuster.

Lucas was mocked for wanting to fill each frame with overwhelming detail and we all assumed this new trilogy wouldn't repeat the same mistake. It's almost like JJ is just trolling us now.

*NUH UH YOU DIDN'T KILL ME I TELEPORTED MY LIGHTSABER ACROSS THE UNIVERSE BEFORE YOU COULD HIT BE*

Agreed, and to go even further, I would say that unlike the Prequels, these films won't have the "nostalgia" power for it to ever have a resurgence, even if the next trilogy that's inevitably made, sucks even bigger nuts. There's just no substance to these films whatsoever, and RLM pointed out a great thing, that the three main leads easily could've been the Han/Leia/Luke of the 2010's had these films been planned out :/

A lack of appreciation that a planet destroying laser on every single star destroyer is idiot levels of overkill.

It's funny. Everyone thinks Kelly Marie Tran stopped acting because of "toxic fans" but if you read the entire New York Times essay she wrote she never mentions mean fans on social media. She explicitly says that the toxicity of *Hollywood* and the film industry is why she left.

@@BiggieTrismegistus it’s in the title of her essay, “I won’t be marginalized by online harassment”, and references the words used by toxic fans. Yes, she also mentions racism in Hollywood and society as a whole, but the fans (at least some) were responsible for harassment as well.

@@willsaenz6320Once again I'd suggest you read what she actually wrote. The title doesn't count because she didn't write it. The editor did. There is no mention of online harassment anywhere in the essay. It seems the editor and you desperately wish you could use her words to smear the fans for some reason but Kelly Marie Tran's essay doesn't give you any leeway to do that.

So only Kids heard the message lol

The most corporate business minded bullshit I’ve ever heard. It’s like they stop caring long ago and now don’t even care to pretend to care.

Hahaha fuck this movie dude.

@@trevorrogers95 perfect comment.

What about the fact that in one of the first scenes they have to get an important message from a betrayer inside the First Order? Then the Falcon and his ship have to line up, they drop this massive data cable, and you would imagine it would be blueprints, maybe some location in the galaxy, anything that would require a load of data. And then the message is "Palpatine returned" literally two words!

Rey = Jesus/Korra

Once they revealed the Emporer was coming back in the trailer we knew the whole plot of the movie

I've listened to this video three times and every time, something new confuses me.

Holy shit, that's amazing.

It’s barely a movie. When they said it felt like a pitch session they were pretty accurate.

Honestly I could believe it

@@WingItMan217 me too. that is my hope now.

I'm sure you're exaggerating with the masterpiece part but I wanted to make this analogy: If a professional chef preps a five star meal and the next chef takes a shit in it, it's still gonna taste like shit to the person eating it.

It really does come across as his Freddy got Fingered or Malignant. Like, he intentionally sabotaged the movie because he thought it would be funny. He's definitely a great writer so in my opinion it's the only way it tracks that Last Jedi is as bad as it is.

@@weneedaladder8384 A lot of other people believe that it’s on the same level as Empire, so clearly he did something right

cheezemonkeyeater Amen brother. He was an afterthought. The writers scrambling for an evil dude once they killed off Snoke

@@Andym8910 why not snoke's... wife. His theodora. BAM.

O Kawaii Koto

I've been say this for a while now

@@Andym8910 'They'? Rian goddamn Johnson. Nobody else is to blame.

It's like poetry, it rhymes.

Plinkett conjured JJ Abrams

mutinyontheark Jar Jar is the key to all of this

@@Patyx42 Mr Plinkett ruined Star Wars CONFIRMED

Or maybe it was this pig... *cuts to picture of squealing piglet*

What's the novelization explanation?

@@fleshworm "Kylo could feel in his very bones that this clone body sheltered the Emperor's actual spirit. It was an imperfect vessel, though, unable to contain his immense power."

The novelization has a bunch of details missing from the film. -Reys father and snoke are explained to be "strand-casts", genetically modified clones of palpatine spliced with additional DNA to try and create something powerful enough to house his soul. -The Force Dyad is a prophecy of the Sith and is why Darth Bane created the Rule of Two -The Sithtroopers (Red stormtroopers) were indoctrinated force sensitives taken from the First Order, Finn and Jannah would've become one of these soldiers had they not broken their conditioning. -Leia, before passing, gave each "tagonist" one of her last names. She told Rey to take the name Skywalker, told Poe to take the name Organa, and told Ben to retake the name Solo... Personally, I think Finn should've got the Organa last name. Finn had no last name while Poe already did, Poe Dameron. Alternatively, Finn should've taken the last name Solo to carry the name on into the future since Ben died.

Seriously. I have no emotional investment in these films. Soulless corporate crap, unlimited budget, zero of the original magic.

I C BAJS

The problem is, you think having emotional investment in a feature-length children's toy commercial is desirable, instead of something people like Mike were burdened with at a young age and can't shake off even when they know it's bad

(Charlie writes on window while drowning) REY ISN'T REY

@@sernoddicusthegallant6986 Tony Stark

She was supposed to kill him during a specific ritual with her lightsaber because her hate overwhelmed her, which would open her up enough to the dark side for his spirit to possess her. Instead she turned his own force lightning back on himself with the combined light side force power of her, Ben Solo, and all the Jedi ghosts (lame) and he killed himself. It should have been explained better but it makes sense.

@@michael.devitt Well yes, that's the implication. Poor explanations aside, though, this COULD have been an opportunity for a thematically cool moment, where she deliberately refuses to kill him, even in defense, mirroring Luke not only refusing to kill Vader, but throwing away his lightsaber in front of the emperor. Then she could have (taking a page from Dark Forces 2's novelization) 'protected' her grandfather from the Dark Side (preferably by sending Anakin at him), rendering him a powerless old man. Maybe he then dies of extreme age rather than any sort of attack. Then she keeps the name Palpatine at the end because she's taking it back.

Self defense is different from revenge murder. @Professor I actually like the idea of her taking back the Palpatine name. When she says Rey Sywalker; major cringe factor. Bitch stop fronting lol.

"The line "I wasn't talking to you, I was talking to everyone else" gave me chills" and "“I’ve never wanted anything more. But he’s gone and that’s the truth” this was the moment where Diana finally accepts the love of her life’s death. The truth isn’t ALWAYS beautiful it can be painful and devastating but at least it’s real. " are the top comments on that video, and Im getting chills because of the lack of blood flowing to some people's brains...

I suspect those are bots paid for by the studio to praise their bad products.

You're not some authority on how people should feel about things. I personally feel the speech fell flat but that's mostly because the movie never earned such a moment.

@@Renoistic EHHHH, maybe... I don't think I said they SHOULDN'T feel a certain way, I was poking fun at them FOR feeling that way. Now, if I had said "These people are faking it, no one could feel that way after that watered down water monologue", then you could have a point. I'm all for people interpreting media differently. At the same time, if they put their feelings in comment form I should be able to have feelings about their comments.

Still waiting for my friends to return, somehow :(

Next time, use a joke that is original and not overused

Whatever the Threepio line is, taking a last look around at my friends. That I met yesterday and haven't had any conversations with. Friends. Sacrifice. Cry. Now.

He is to toxic masculinity what Palpatine is to the Sith

Less.

John Wayne -Well not to good if she kouldnt keep one story line coherent. Movies feels like they just winged it

@@johnwayne8494 I really need to find out what standard is there to call her "great" anything. She put money in Lucas's risky project... I think? She let Ruin have free reign for TLJ, and still doesn't seem to regret it.

She's getting fired

Because he got bored of Snoke faster than movie watchers did.

Maybe he needed to make a bunch of them before one of the ended up being strong in the Force.

Don’t ask questions. Just consume product and move on to next product

There can only be a sith master and an apprentice

The final graveyard smash

Though it was weird when a pizza pocket walked down the stairs where Palpatine was sitting and said "murder your wife"

I liked when Rey killed the kritigque who called her a Mary sue and said:" fuck you sexist"

🤣😂🤣🤣

My favourite moment is when Finn practically looks at the camera and says '...I have a feeling!'

@@ImmaLittlePip pizza roll*

... and Palpatine (Rey) wins, in the end. In fact, a Palpatine steals the Skywalker name and rides off into the sunsset.

"And I would have gotten away with it, if not for you meddling kids!"

You forgot how much "IT BROKE NEW GROUND!"

Kathleen Kennedy sits on a throne of lies, @@myndlink.

zeroeien 🙄 duh

A dad in mine left with his kid after Palpatine was defeated by Rey slowly walking towards him with not one.....BUT TWO LIGHTSABRES

Imagine not wanting people to be quiet in a movie theatre

@@JohnnyBananaTV I imagine this dad's biggest dream was one day having a son and sharing his love for Star Wars with him... He just couldn't take it any longer.

@@MWcrazyhorse That's what I thought. It was probably too stupid for the dad and too scary for his kid.

Same for mine, except when the credits were over, one person in my theater said "what a waste of time"

I think this statement is true for 90% or more of what they’ve reviewed over the years.

I think they really did think they could just get some skilled directors and tell them to basically remake the original trilogy with new merchandizing and print money. Obviously the Force Awakens in just the first movie with Abrams' shitty mystery boxes everywhere. People basically accepted it. They didn't like how it was so beat for beat a remake, but they were OK with it if the mystery boxes paid off. Rian Johnson was brought on to do an Empire remake with his own twist. That's what he delivered. Finn and Rose on Canto Bight are Han and Leia on Bespin getting betrayed. Rey and Luke are clearly just Luke and Yoda but Luke is even more of a shit than Yoda was. The Hoth fight is just transposed to the end of the film instead of the beginning. They don't have anything for Poe to ape, so he just spins his wheels. But the theme of the movie is letting go of the past and that mystery boxes are fucking stupid. Which is pretty hilarious but puts them in a serious bind. What do they do now? They can't *just* get a third director to come in an do a Return of the Jedi pastiche. People were really upset that they were tricked into caring about the stupid mystery boxes and then told that they were dumb for caring. So Abrams was brought back to clumsily and uninterestingly basically answer those mystery boxes in a way that still mimics Return of the Jedi. They need to get wrapped up in a local alien culture. Lando needs to be in disguise. There needs to be a simultaneous space-land-Jedi fight to end it. (Though the "land" they went with was on top of Star Destroyer, which made even less sense than the shield generator on Endor) It was a fools errand. They were too lazy and cowardly to put together an original story that honored the legacy of Star Wars without aping it and ultimately mocking it. So it became a disaster.

lol, this. and I haven't even seen it yet.

Movie making is so horribly repetitive. I’ve said “jimini jilikers” so many times, the words have lost all meaning.

Just felt weird and akward and how she dies is almost laughable. Same with kylo

"If Hollywood stars didn't want to be in adverts dancing with radiators, then they shouldn't have tried to express themselves creatively".

Hello. Smithers. You're. REALly. good. AT. Turning. me. ON.

good catch!

LMAO 🤣 confirmed

Oh my god it actually does.

STAR ASS

That's all it was, for one hour and 40 minutes. It also won best picture, and best screenplay.

Same, I have it favorited and usually watch it when Im anxious at night

No chance! They haven't introduced time-travel, yet.

Lol

Without*

No, with thunderous applesause, and definitely not applause.

TheDunkleberries i’ve never heard an audience so dead silent by the end of a film. It’s like everyone in the theatre had just witnessed the gruesome death of a loved one.

The Big Enchilada I kept joking like seeing the movie was an autopsy, but after seeing it I said it was more like watching a piece of you being murdered. Just getting stabbed and stabbed and everytime you think it’ll get better, they shoot that piece of you 89 times and all the people in the theater love it

Well it is a War after all.

War, war never changes.

@@TeamMBaku Thats not what Snake would say! Dont contradict Snake you puny Fallout fan!

Luke killed 100s of thousands with that first death star shot.

This is just a fact of movies like star wars. If you think about it too much, you eventually come to realize that the main characters murdered tens of thousands of people in the span of the movie. Any normal real-world person would come out of that in one of two ways; having hardcore PTSD, or turning into a straight-up blood psychopath. Its easier just to say _"Oh, its cool! They were all evil! They were just faceless stormtrooper grunts! They don't matter!!"_ Not saying this like its a bad thing. Like I said, its just a fact of big blockbuster movies like star wars. Same deal with video games. "Hey, we gotta have endless droves of cannon fodder for our heroes to battle through. Otherwise where would the action be?"

Hey Nietzsche, calm down it's only a movie.

The OG trilogy was a man with a vision in cooperation with extremely talented people; Marcia Lucas, John Williams, Irvin Kershner, Harrison Ford, Alec Guinness, Frank Oz, all of ILM. The Prequel Trilogy was George Lucas without cooperation from others.

More like a hack gets the right people on board...

George funded Everything past a new hope. Fox no longer owned it. Just for clarification.

The OT was Apple with Steve Jobs and Tim Cook The PT was Apple with Steve Jobs

@@austinbaccus The ST was modern Apple

The interest in more Star Wars movies might be gone.

@fuuk yu Good, no need for garbage movies...

@fuuk yu Lol trying to troll star wars fans on a topical star wars video. Think you got enough training wheels for your first time, junior?

Except Disneys image

The best quote I heard was "The ending of the new trilogy was like blowing up a balloon and letting it go, flying around the room making farting noises until it depressingly flops over on the ground".

@Danny Williams Or hiring JJ Abrams for that matter. The man has a reputation for setting up horrible endings (that someone else has to do the work for) for a reason. Starting with JJ "Mystery Box" Abrams and following him with "Rian "All expectations must be subverted" Johnson was a recipe for disaster even before they decided to film a trilogy lacking a cohesive plan.

I saw only the first one and it's only reclycled shit with uncharismaric charaters. This was a waste i'm glad i haven't watched 8 & 9.

@@pierresimpson3572 lucky, good call

Absolutely never seen a bigger waste of potential😩😞and this is what we got....prequels ( as bad as they where ) are freakin light years ahead of this extremely wasted trilogy!