Ft @thejuggernaut9093 @cantare_bellezza @we.human @rooster.survives @jaymartinezthepoet @taijamartinez To watch the full episodes or get your conversation card deck click here: linktr.ee/toni...
My friends and I have taken to using a dry erase board in our discussions. It makes it so much easier to stay on topic and to see where we're missing each other. It works great. Another good tactic is repeating the other person's point to them in a way that satisfies them. That way you can be sure that we're being clear with one another and not missing the point. If someone cant handle this they arent worth investing in. One of my exes got an attitude when I suggested we do this (he was one of those people who enjoy being mad in the moment) and it really helped us to identify all his insecurities and needs. It also helped me to be clearer in my word choice and how I frame my arguments.
This is interesting. I tend to be really direct as well and my husband has amnesia with certain things he says, so maybe recording WITH THE INTENTION OF US HEARING HOW we speak instead of for ammunition against the other person…maybe it’s a good idea. Unlike this lady I feel that knowing I’m recording myself would probably change my tone if I’m not already in a heightened state. That right there alone makes me realize there are ways in which I speak that need to be improved. Damn. This shit is hard. Idk why it’s just him that this has been an issue with. This is not for the weak or lazy.
I had this issue with a past partner where he’d say I was talking to him crazy but did not realize how he was talking to me. It took me moving on and him hearing how I talk to my new partner before he realized dang, you can be soft and sweet. I reminded him that I am both, it just depends on how I am being treated as well. Current partner and I have had one instance where we really verbally went there and it was the last time. We mutually understood that somethings are not to be done unless we want the other side of the coin to show. Previous partner definitely would say things in a way to push me to the pissed off point and then remain calm and smile as I got more heated. In a sick manner he got something from it that I couldn’t understand nor adjust to. He is more humble as a friend but recording was something I would think about after he’d already said the wrong thing and would back track the words. All this to say, he wasn’t my husband and glad we didn’t make it to that point
I thought about doing this but felt like it wouldn’t work if I knew I was recording. Maybe I would switch something I would normally do to tailor the recording in my favor. So I never did it…🤷🏽♀️
I Started doing this 2 years ago…. It worked for me and completely changed me tremendously…. As for him … he see’s nothing wrong with his actions 🤦🏽♀️ … ⌛️🏃🏾♀️
I had a friend him and his wife will argue and she always said she didn't say that so he recorded her saying something one day. He played the tape of her saying that and she said that wasn't her she said he alter the tape.
Things like this gives other people a false narrative to run with and believe that it can work in real life......... MY OPINION is if you have enough knowledge to know when the argument is flying off the shelf to the point you can record it. You have enough knowledge to know when to just calm down in able to fix what ever problem it is. I THINK knowingly recording it will not get the real deal unless you just dont gaf.
@Damita Allen We are truly a unique breed of people. Due to our passionate and fiery nature, sometimes what we say comes across as harsh. It may not have been the intent, but the galloping hoofs and the drawn back bow of the centaur stay in warrior mode. It's easy to misfire every now and then.
