This made me well up. You are so kind. I'm overwhelmed, just so so overwhelmed. I shut down all the time because I am so overwhelmed. Thank you for this.
Hey if you ever need a cheer leader or someone to rant with while we tackle stuff I'm here. I know I am just a complete stranger but sometimes strangers are easier to open up to.
Some how this comment was hidden, I hope you are doing well. It is so easy to become overwhelmed. People who do not struggle with this have no idea what it is like. We'll all get through this together.
I am capable of change and growth. I realized today that a lot of the problems I’ve been having - doom scrolling and wasting time mainly - are because I’m in an area of my life where I’m scared. Even cleaning feels scary. What if everything gets bad again? What if it somehow gets worse? Why am I so weak? But I’m not weak. And there’s no way to tell the future. All I can do is be kind to me and my future self and begin chipping away at the mess. My kindness to myself includes looking the fear I’ve been ignoring and not acknowledging in the face. Saying “I know, it’s scary. Everything is right now. But I can help you and that will help us both. So even if it’s scary, let’s keep moving forward.”
I feel this way too. Tbh it helps knowing I'm not the only one like this. My husband is as understanding as he can be but he's never dealt with it himself. A lot of times my mind talks me out of things by convincing me that it will be ruined by something. For example, don't bother cleaning this because it will get dirty again. Don't order delivery from this place because they'll probably mess up your order anyway. Don't go to the store people will stare at you just order groceries. Don't go out for a walk because it will probably be hot and uncomfortable outside. And it goes on and on and on! It's exhausting. I don't really know how to fix it other than drowning it out with music or TV. We're currently in the process of moving into our first home that we've ever owned, in a different small city in a nicer climate with nicer people. It's been difficult to get the packing done but I keep telling myself to just get through this because I hopefully won't ever have to move again! And I know a lot of people advise against thinking "after X, I'll Y" but in my case I know it's true.. we've been visiting the area for a year and I went to college there. I was a different person back then because my life was simply happier being there with that scenery and the climate wasn't killing me. So I'm making every effort to change my daily life with this move. I am feeling more and more confident that I can do it. I know you can too you just have to keep making your way. 💜
Wow....your words have moved me so much! It never clicked to me that I feel paralyzed to do anything because I AM SCARED! True example of paralysis by analysis! I don't know you and you don't know me but your comment has helped me so much. Thank you❤
I'm in the same moment of everyone here. Depression is so awful that every time I see something I'm supposed to do I just go "eww" or "meh". Last night my husband made me notice a dish with some leftover food I left on the counter. I didn't finish it because it wasn't good, but didn't have the heart to toss it. My depression med helps me not having crying fits anymore, but the depression is still there...
After years, I have finally been able to begin to clear a particularly difficult kitchen counter. I used to feel vulnerable seeing the clean open spaces, but that did not happen this time.😊❤
So true! I’m in that moment now. I overwhelmed and don’t know how to start! The depression is so severe that I just can’t even gather the strength or motivation. I have become a helmet and it’s scaring me ..
I'm doing this in therapy, but not with cleaning tho.My therapist calls it, "synaptic restructuring". She said when we do things that are hard for us (breaking patterns/addictions/etc.), we are literally creating new neural pathways that will help break us out of harmful behaviors. It takes A LOT of strength to FORCE your own brain to reroute itself to healthier behavior, but PLEASE try to remember that the "muscles" we use get STRONGER and are EASIER to use with time. Who ever has gone thru this, I'm so so proud of you 🥰🖤
@@ShellyCline It's ALOT of work, and I know that, for me, I WISH I had known that changing it and it getting easier was possible AT ALL. It may seem like common knowledge, but it wasn't for me. I felt I wasn't sure if I wanted to spend the rest of my life FIGHTING. It feels insurmountable and I wanted to make sure someone said it out loud. Thank u so much for interacting with me 🥰🖤
I read your comments and you saying it brought tears to my eyes. I had to say it to myself to hope it sinks in. I need to change and every bit of watching her videos and comments like yours will help me do better. Thank you so much! ❤
Congratulations..excellent job. Tks for helping people. They will have a great New oportunity to restart a very clean home. A big hug from Brazil. 🙏🙏💙💙🇧🇷🇧🇷
I had a really good friday, after months of no motivation to clean i had a sudden burst of it and spent the whole day cleaning my kitchen AND made brownies after (:
Would it be possible for you to give us a list of what things you've found with your extensive experience can genuinely be cleaned and what things we just need to toss because they can't be recovered when it's like this?
Not her, but it depends on what kind of mess you have I feel. Is it a "clean" mess? Or are there flies? Has food rotted into stuff? Is the dirty stuff expensive and worth the time, or can they be replaced cheaply? Is having the thing more important than the extra space you'd have without it? If you haven't used it in a few months, is it something you could borrow from a friend on the rare occasion you need it? An example I can think of is if I have a container with moldy food that's sat for a good while: if it's glass it can likely be cleaned/sanitized, and glass containers are $$. But plastic/Tupperware? I keep the lid closed and toss it.
@kaydotz Thank you kindly. These are all good points! I have a somewhat unique situation where I am dealing with items damaged in a hurricane (water/ debris/ mold growth inside the house...long story). Naturally, there are some things that are obvious as to can/ cannot be cleaned, but there are a few things I just can't determine whether or not I can get them clean enough to be safe to keep. It's a large random assortment, though, and I figured she likely could easily say which things are definitely not able to be saved.
Moving into an Oxford house has been amazing for me unlearning/relearning how to be uncluttered! $10 fine if you leave a cup out is a great motivator 😅
I took early retirement last fall to recover from so much stress during covid. That was 7 months ago and I am still working on improving myself mentally, physically and emotionally. It's working but it is taking time. My home is looking better as well. Don't give up, keep trying.❤
It's WILD to me how many people are not diagnosed (and thus don't seek treatment) for mental illness and neurodivesity until their coping mechanisms/habits fail. I didn't get diagnosed with my condition until I was 37.
When I was 11 I had my first depression episode.It was awful. My room got so bad,and I felt so alone that my mom and the other relatives in my life couldn't see how hard I was suffering. That room eventually,got cleaned and the most satisfying thing was sucking those bugs up in a vacuum cleaner. Ever since then I've had a severe phobia of bugs which has forced me to keep my room mostly clean. It's still hard. But that first step, helped so much. I know firsthand how much it means to someone that needs help, gets it. You are truly appreciated and thank you for the work you do.
ive recently started doing small bits of cleaning every other day just because. i've been in a major funk after losing my pets, but when i did still have my boys i always pushed through to clean even when at my lowest, which now is applying to my more empty apartment. im starting to realize i actually really love cleaning, and i'm trying my best to keep up this habit that my boys seem to have kickstarted in me 💖 starting small is so powerful, truly
I have ocd n was always organized n super big time clean everything but after my mom n all my elders passed n my health physically n mentally 💔 my house is just cluttered n needs like wall n baseboard etc cleaned n a dumpster so mines like kinda different my garage is filled n it's things that was all my loved ones they aren't sentimental to me but was to them 🥹🥹 now I'm caring for my 6mo old granbaby during days n about to have a major surgery n want normality back THANK U YOUR TRULY A BLESSING N A ANGEL
Not that it's a huge thing or that it will work for everyone, but I find it helps of I just look at one small thing. Even if it's just putting a new trash bag in. Then if I have the energy, I try to find one more little thing. Eventually I get and okay amount done. It's not a lot each day but every day builds on the last, and just for me and my situation, it help me keep more or less on top of things.
I wish my mom had this kind of help when I was growing up. There is often lots of fates around cleaning up. And I only learned how to clean in a mad dash.
It was a baby step but it’s been causing a real problem for weeks and weeks, if not months. Because of this short, I just cleared the way so I can get to my closet. I’m going to rest until the pain recedes to a 7 again and then I’ll start putting my laundry away that’s been piled in my rocking chair for months. Definitely months. I have CRPS and extremely frequent migraines so clutter and mess just builds around me. I try to keep my living space as small as I possibly can because of it.
I dont know if the plants were fake or not, but they all looked healthy, if so. I feel that. I have a ton of houseplants, and even if my house is in need of cleaning, the first thing that ill do is tend to the plants. Watering, pruning, maybe even repotting one or two in need, spraying them down to keep pests away. Its nice to care for ajother living thing when you dont feel like living. Kind of gives you a serotonin boost, and sometimes the motivation.
I find cleaning so hard. My body (with chronic pain) and brain (with a slew of mental health issues) are struggling so hard. I try to do little things every day but it doesn't amount to enough to keep on top of it.
I remember feeling that...then I just forced myself for 10 seconds to clean 1 Sq ft of space..then I did another 10 seconds and another... I got out of it. Then I'll walk away and let my husband throw stuff away when I feel super overwhelmed ❤ This is not to shame anyone. I hope the best for you all!
I'm like this at the moment we're having to move house and packing everything again is making the house look a mess becuse I can't do loads in one go but I desperately want and need to do I do loads then exhaust myself when I haven't finished a bit it looks such a mess it's hard to do my normal daily clean but packing aswell it's so hard
I truly hope you see this. I need help and advice. My grandma has been struggling with hoarding her entire life and it got worse when her sister was murdered her house is currently at the point where she can’t go in anymore. It’s really depressing to see her like this. Can you please give me advice?
if I lived near you and could meet you, I would go and help you on all of them. If I could that day, I'd still help when I could.. cause I'm disabled. But on a good day, I'd be a lot of help.
I was wondering the other day why there r no mental health programs that hook up pp with medical type life coaches to help pp who past fight and flight and aren in freeze. A person can remain there for years bc as time goes by it gets increasingly harder to break free . This is not a little thing. Then here u r, someone who recognized the need, stepped over the red tape and began to drag pp put of sinking sand. Pp like u make me think god exists ❤
Now, this is the first time I've heard you offer mental advice and not just cleaning. This is what they need, a talking to. So they can possibly move forward , because if you are just going to clean and not help them mentally. Then you're really not helping them.
My upstairs bedroom has gotten pretty bad with clothing and clutter sense I had my daughter 2 years ago I try to attempt to clean it but I always fail to finish it then it gets more cluttered 😭😭😭😭😭
I tapped on this notification thinking, "oh yeah, I need to state that my comment may have sounded like I was angry, but I wasn't." Then, I couldn't find my comment. I was like, why did you delete my comment?! There wasn't anything bad. Just a couple questions. Then... I realized this is RU-vid. My comment must be on the Tiktok version. So, off I go to make sure you don't think THAT comment is angry. Lol
