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Agreed, it's easier for the daughter to start healing if she knows the father won't be around, but it's harder to heal if the father keeps shaking it in front of his daughter to chase
If he didn't want to be like his father, then he shouldn't act like his father. If he isn't happy with the truth, then he needs to do something about it.
You weren't cruel. You were honest. There's a difference. He needed to hear that anyway that it got delivered. He's also a sorry piece of crap for not seeing his daughter as often as he can, and saying that his new wife is jealous of him visiting his daughter. I wouldn't be with anyone if they were jealous of the time I spent with my child. Look into having his parental rights signed away because he's definitely not acting like a father.
Sometimes cruel words are needed to get it through the thick skull of some people for them to realize how much they have change to becoming the monster that they themselves had once hated and ranted about “not wanting to be like him” .
Bless that mother. She held back when she ripped him a new ahole. I would have posted what he said on social media. Contacted his side of the family to shame him, and any mutual friends. Pro Tip: The benefit of marrying someone who comes from a good family is that family will keep them in check.
My father cheated on my mother 4 times, one of his mistresses tried to sue him for emotional damage (which ment our only bank account at the time), his other mistress was a teacher at my school who made my life hell (the principal knew about it), and that same teacher and her daughter spread such bad rumors that my mom and I was exiled for 3 months in our small town (I was 14 and just started high school), and that's not even mentioning he's a diagnosed narcissist who mentally, emotionally and sometimes physically when he was drinking abused us. He froze our accounts at some point too so my grandparents payed for our food and I will never forget how much accept help was such a lost concept to her. This man has ruined our lives in more ways than I can explain here, when I called him out for abuse his response is "I was abused as a kid, I'm not abusing you and I can still do things better than you so stop telling yourself shit".... I haven't seen or spoken to him for 4 years now and the last time I ran into him in public he threw a door in my face that I barely missed.... And his justification when my mom messaged him about it, he didn't hear me say hi to him which I did... Loudly and with my mother as a witness... Needless to say I've spoken to a cop about protection orders and have threatened my father to not dare pull his shit again because I will have him put on a watch list. So life's fun I guess :3
And canceling on his child last minute the day of because a grown woman is " jealous " isnt cruel? And leaving you with the heartbreaking job of telling her? Hes not answering because he knew you were right but he still will choose a relationship with a immature person
NTA. Your words were necessary. Honestly that's the dumbest excuse I ever heard. His new wife is jealous of the daughter he rarely visits? Seriously? Just tell him that he shouldn't be surprised one day when his daughter is all grown up and wants nothing to do with him
They sure are concerned about a grown man being hurt by the truth and reality of his own behaviour, but not by the hurt his child is experiencing. Disgrace.
What you said isn't bad at all. As somebody has experienced the same thing from an actual parent from the child's point of view. It's really heartbreaking when a parent. Does that especially when they contact you and say they will and then they Abruptly stopped.
No, what's cruel is abandoning a baby that doesn't quite understand why her daddy refuses to see her, keeps lying to her, makes her feel abandoned unimportant, that's cruel. That "father" is a pathetic excuse for a man and it was about time somebody held him accountable for his sheer stupidity. That little girl is a child and all she knows is that her daddy doesn't love her enough to see her or protect her. That poor little girl will have to live with that for the rest of her life. He deserved more than just being told the truth.😤
The truth is just that THE TRUTH, if he's butt hurt by you saying that it's nothing compared to the hurt your daughter feels for him walking away from her.
Ain't no way his new lover was jealous of a CHILD. Like dude. She needs to also grow TF up. Also he should have not listened to her so easily. I think that the child should have came first
NTAH. Obviously the ops ex husband needed a reminder of his past if he was just letting it repeat with their daughter. No child deserves to be abandoned. It's worse when you've been abandoned so you know how it feels but turn around and do it to your offspring. That's just messed up. I applaud OP 👏🏻👏🏻
The man got hit with the hard truth lmfao. But even her family can't handle that even though he's done nothing to deserve their loyalty. Also, his wife tells him she's jealous of the time he spends with his daughter?! What time!! If a man spends that little time and she's controlling him to spend less, dump her. The fact that he won't...well if he has kids with that woman I hope he treats them better than he does the one he has right now.
Why is it always that people are blind when the other one is being a POS but when you dare to say anything "oh you're so harsh, you took it too far" Like WTF.
NTA. He became the man he hated. He chose his side piece over his family. He chose his side piece over his wife. But what's worse is that he chose a jealous side piece over his own kid. He became his deadbeat father.
Keep your kid eith you the fsct he said the wife was jealous of the child shows that she cant be trusted with her. She could end up hurting that baby. Go back to court have him sign his rights over and he will still have to pay child support. But dont even risk her going over there. Dont even tell her if he calls just say she isnt home. Dont let her get her feeling shurt naymore.
They say her words were cruel but im sure they wouldn't like it if theirbex husband or wife suddenly divorced them and made broken promises to their child for more than 4 years. Op wasn't wrong for saying that in my opinion. Hating someone and then becoming that person is crazy
Absolutely NTA, and for the people saying your comments were "cruel" clearly aren't thinking about the cruelty he's heaping upon an innocent child by not seeing her bc his AP/wife is a jealous witch. Also, wtf was he thinking before when he was wanting primary custody if his AP/wife clearly has an issue with him giving ANY affection to a CHILD?! Those 2 deserve each other. As I said before you're NTA at all. You're simply putting your child's needs above anyone....which is what REAL parents do. Unfortunately your daughter is the one that will pay the price. I'd suggest getting her into therapy now, in hopes of dealing with her emotions now, as opposed to years from now after she's possibly become bitter and resentful.
Cruelty deserved. This would be mean of me but I see a what more scenario: he chose another woman to have another family only to find she cant have any. He tries to bond with his daughter/ try to get custody of her. The judge asks who she wants to stay with, since she's old enough to choose. She chose her mom. When asked for a reason why she answers: 'the moment he had the other woman, he kept breaking his promises. He abandoned us, flaked everytime his new wife tells him to. He only wants me back coz his side piece can't have kids and I'm his only shot. He is not my dad. As far as I'm concerned, my dad died.
So the giant manbaby gets all the concern but the actual child he pretty much abandoned gets no concern? No, he should be compared to his father all day, every day. Parents like him should be shamed for when their reasons for canceling are "because my partner doesn't like me hanging out with my child". Their partners can grow up and they can grow up.
Nope the truth hurts. That child will be fine without him live your life. Raise that child with God's help and never look back. If family feels like u wrong tell them this is the pain he cause u coming back to bite him
they may been out of anger but theyv been nothing but the trouth. if he wanted to be better then his own dad, he can try by starting with exolaining to his new wifey that his daughter IS his and she is STAYING to be his. even tho her mom means nothing to him, his daughter IS something hes interested in. he can explain it to her. that he CAN have a normal relationship between his daughter but steal it doesnt have to mean anything between him and his ex wife. JUST a relationship between a dad and a daughter. JUST THAT. she is a spolied and an entiteled big baby if she cant handle and understand that! then he can procede by saying "sorry" to his own kid. its NOT that hard to admit that u were and why u were in the wrong! if u dont want to be a dad like ur father were to u, that can be a decent start. maybe think bout NOT making promises that you KNOW you CANT and WONT keep! what the op did was something she shouldv long time ago. im scared to think what if he got the custedy? hes a bad parent. if he wants that to change HE and HIS atitude and behaviour SHLUL CHANGE as well and NOT just by empty words and an expectations of the future. like then expecting to be invited to her graduation or wedding or anything round the future baby. if u dont do anything bout it now, DONT be mad if shel hang the phone, if shel call the police onu for trying to be in her and her babys life on force! u aint gonna be invited to the baby shower or her wedding? ur an adult for Fks sake try to act like it! ul have one person to blame for that. and it wont be ur ex wife and it aint gonna be ur daughter! the only one ud be able to blame is YOU YOURSELF. u wanna be better then ur dad? u wanna be rememberd as such ? u wanna be in ur future grandkids and ur kids life? u want ur kid to be proud of u later in life? like a proud dady-daughter dance or walking her down the isle. or like a proud grandpa and ect. u want to have an opem doors at her place when ul need a home to crash in? when ul have no money left,u want to turn to ur ,then adult, daughter for that? then start ACTING like a decent caring parent and u gota start NOW! try this. NOT to blame ur ex and ur own kid for that! neither now nor in the future later in life. op did right to put him in his place! if it were me id tell him to , if he wants to not be like his dad, he can try by being a decent caring human being!
Nope ur good...mine 14 has only texted on the phone with her father...and that only for the last few years...he makes promises and than says he can't get away for work or his other kids...she has a big family and puts on a strong face but it hurts her and I can't stop it...if you can make him be better do it because it Hurst these little kids
Something similar happened to me by my biological father, he only visited 3 times a year MAX he also didn’t marry my mother when I was born, so they broke up when I was around 3 I’m pretty sure. I was around 7 - 9 in those times so I would bawl my eyes out when he left after a day or two. I have now what he has done (there’s more to it I am just not comfortable saying) I have completely gone no contact and I hate him. I now have a step father I see as my own I also have 3 step siblings now, im much happier
Listen one of my friends went through the same thing as she grew up she pretty much almost forgot her father got married had kids and then he sees them and we'll buy it and she just sort of oh yeah I got a dad
You simply pointed out the truth I don’t understand why your family has a problem with that rather than the fact that your ex-husband essentially has abandoned his daughter! I’m sorry but your family needs to get their priorities straight it’s not about his feelings it’s about him having abrogated his responsibility to his child!😳
NTA. You just reminding him how double standards he was being. And the family who pitty the prick can stuff it. Because they would of said the exact same thing, if they were in your shoes, in that moment.
What's the problem mean and what I think they mean when they say that it was cool of you what you said. It's not really worth so much what you said but because of what you said is pretty much guaranteed that you let it go and never see her father again I think that's what they think is cruel and in a way I understand what they are thinking but. And then the Kindle for your daughter not to see her father at all then to see her father knowing that her father really doesn't want to see her and her stepmother definitely 1% doesn't want to see her? I think it is kind of but he doesn't see her father at all then to her to be in a relationship with her father when is 100% proven that he doesn't want to be with her.
realtalk hurts. what an AH!!!!ITS GOOD YOU GOT DIVIRCWD. YOU BITH DESERVE SONEONE BETTER AND RESPONSIBLE. YOU ARE NOT CRUEL AND THAT IS NESECARY FIR HIM TO MAYBE WAKE UP😅😅😅
