I always go with my gut feeling!! It's never steered me wrong!! It's me, I'm the problem it's me!!!!!¡Because I don't always listen, and I linger too long. 💔💔
My comment prolly won't be popular, but Danna, I would recommend that you slow down, make friends first and then 'keep' yourself for marriage with that special someone when you find him. We're wired to become 'one' and you're a special gal and should save yourself for your special someday guy.
Try not to overthink.try to meditate more.i also have a mind that is active.....Keep your thoughts at a high vibration ....I'm also a late bloomer.i got married at age 40 and had my daughter at 42 yrs it's never too late. Wishing you great success
Hi, Danna. In my opinion, over thinking about "love bombing" can turn into love blocking. My $0.02 is to know yourself intimately (e.g. your values; culture; personality; what makes you happy, why and how; etc.), then continue to live a life that promotes your safety (physical; emotional; spiritual; psychological), your health (physical; emotional; spiritual; physical), and your happiness (well-being). Focus on those things, enjoy them, and, I strongly believe that, you will realize that your lifelong love/partner is part of your journey. We tend to expect our soulmate to appear in a dramatic way, but more often than not our soulmates are unnoticed in a nook not far. Once we notice our "soulmate" it all makes sense. The best relationships start from friendships with those who have similar values, views of life, expectations, and interests. People don't change values/principles as easily as change opinions and attitudes. My apologies for the long message. Stay safe, stay healthy, and stay happy! Everything else is manageable! Pops
I rarely see someone that wants a relationship as much as you do but will not settle for anything just to be in a relationship. You are a rare human being. You inspire me, please always share your true self with us, its why we are here❤
@@crawleyr4919 True, except I have lost count of the people I know who say those same things then walk right into the kinda relationship they didn’t want. She is rare!
Wow! I don't know if you realize how much you have learned, girl! Give yourself some credit! You backed out right on time. You didn't give up. You walked away. You saw what you needed to do for yourself. You have grown so much from when you and I first met. Keep taking care of yourself. Contact me if you need a friend to chat with. Better yet, write some music about it! Love ya!
You gave the relationship a try; you saw red flags; it didn't work out. Boom. Don't beat yourself up about it! Focus on your beautiful and creative self, and be glad that you didn't drag the relationship any further. 😘
honestly Danna the way he treated you from the begin always made me feel he is watching the channel because it were too many check boxes in so little time.
same. she shouldn't tell people about her channel until at least a couple weeks in imo. she doesn't have to lie but she should be vague, like 'im a video editor and i write and teach music.' she will attract people who study her videos and who may even want her for clout. i always found it weird that she shared it right away.
Well, here I am just wishing you bucket-loads of peace, contentment and companionship. Yes please. I’m 85 (a mama, grandmama and great grandma) wishing we could just sit down, tell our stories to each other and just see where it takes us. ❤❤. Hugs.
Thank you for making videos! I watched you for years and during my pregnancy. Now baby is here and I KNOW if I play your videos he will immediately calm down. The sound of your voice soothes him 😂
Definitely NOT oversharing at all. I love watching you talk about these types of things because as a girl in her late 20's, about to turn 30 in a few months, these are things that also relate to my current dating life too. We are all growing and learning and healing from things but I've been a long time viewer and I will say, you've come so much farther than you realize. Give yourself some credit for backing out of a situation that regardless of the reality of it, it feels icky and uncomfortable to you, whether he meant it that way or not. Most people would ignore that anxiety you have and continue into an unhealthy relationship that ends up turning worse later and makes a break up harder. I'm proud of you for standing your ground. And yes, sometimes love bombing is based on perception and can be misinterpreted as such but if you're having open conversations with said love bomber and he's not taking accountability for it or trying to improve on said concerning issues for even just the sake of making you more comfortable, what you're feeling is probably spot on. Thank you for your openness and honest about this Danna. As a person with a pretty similar upbringing, and a lot of trauma of my own, I appreciate your vulnerability in these videos. Take some time to truly heal yourself, I've spent several years doing it myself and I am still nowhere near where I need to be but it's a process. Take some time to truly get to know yourself and why you are the way you are, why you react in the ways you do and what you can and can't tolerate or handle at this stage of life you are in RIGHT NOW. Not what you want in a "future relationship" but what you need right now in this present moment.
Not oversharing at all, Danna! Your honesty and transparency are helping many watching this video. I really appreciate the words/phrases you are using such as love bombing, triggered, etc. I’m 63 and we didn’t have a name for these behaviors and feelings. The more we share, the more the world will heal❤
Oh Dana please know that this is a learning opportunity. Our gut is never wrong, but our heart wants the fairy tail. You have so much self awareness, and you are learning what you DONT want in a relationship. This gy was a tool figuratively, and literally
Try not to think so hard on it. But I get it ! I used to go back in my dorm room and laugh 🤣 telling my room mate he told me he loved me (so soon I thought). One guy told me he prayed though on me that I was the one for him. I really didn’t want to hurt his feelings but it really put me on the spot…. I said “ you haven’t been on my mind . I didn’t even know his name. I think GOD would have told me. I look back now and hope he wasn’t hurt bad. But one guy I dated he drove 2 1/2 hours to come and see me 2 or 3 times a week. He had a job in construction so he would come after work to see me. (Of course looking great) when he told me he loved me. After our date I told my roommate ( he was serious ). That was after 3 months . We married that year in June . We have been married for 47 years now. So glad we did. We love being together, we have been though a lot but I still love being him.
Exactly what was happening to my bestie!! Gifts, he’s in love days after meeting, diamond ring 2 months in and then when she has to work he gets mad, says he’ll pay her to quit… wow, you are calling it all out! He has put some kind of spyware on her phone or car and he’s now stalking her after she tried to pull away. Creepy.
You are so freaking talented! One of my self cares is walking barefoot in the grass and sitting outside. No phone. No distractions. And I listen to the birds and enjoy the peace.
First of all, SO proud of you for recognizing what was happening and being strong enough to end it. You have seriously answered your own question without reading it. " How do you know genuine actions from love bombing?" You just did it with this relationship. It WAS your nervous system. You will NOT feel the anxiety or your gut screaming. It will feel warm, like home. You'll know girl, you'll know. Honor your instincts. But yes, feel the feelings. Be sad and all the things, the secret is not getting stuck there. You are doing great!
I loved hearing you sing - beautiful voice - i liked the song. Glad you put yourself first, did not make excuses by allowing someone to treat you badly or self sabotage. Go girl you are extremely important 😊
Danna this was one of my favorite vlogs of yours ever. So much wisdom, vulnerability, and self awareness, plus lovely singing! Thank you for trusting us with your authentic self on a rough day. We love you so much! I wanted to recommend the excellent book to you "How to spot a dangerous man before you get involved" and the accompanying workbook. I use to coach women who had a pattern of being in toxic relationships and that was required reading for my program. A big thing from breaking out of that pattern is education, which you are already doing a great job of, and going so so much slower of a pace when dating than actually feels natural or even comfortable for you. The longer you can delay sex the better too. And having real and honest conversations with discerning friends and/or therapists where you evaluate potential red flags early on. Your doing a great job and its really important work you are doing sharing this to the internet because its going to have a positive effect on so many peoples lives!
The anxiety it's probably because you're falling in love with a man who has told you he doesn't want children and every week that you waste is another step towards never becoming a mom. If you're still set on having children, you should immediately break it off with a man who says they don't want that.
That is classic narcissism. Don’t take it personally they will pray on those people who are willing to open up their heart. Appreciate and celebrate that you were able to recognize the issues early and got out.
Great video Dana teaching people the difference between love bombing someone and learning someone’s love language to build a relationship I wish I had learned this years ago thank you for continuing to get information out there so men and women can learn to go get their best life I appreciate you dear Dana ❤
This has happened to me multiple times, so don’t feel too bad. It happens to most of us. I’m not sure what is happening with all these guys. I also get so disappointed with dating that I give up. Nowadays, it’s very difficult to find your person. 😣😔 God help us all. 🙏🏼 holding on to my faith.
It breaks my heart this continuously happens to you but also good for you to recognizing things really quickly and turning away. You know what you want and need and that’s not a bad thing! You’re amazing you will find your person. ❤
I love your authenticity. Lewis Howe - love his channel. Also, love bombing is so common. I think you caught it fairly early into the relationship so that's progress (at least in my mind) but you also has some really good insights and thoughts going forward. I've been there a time or two myself. Keep shining your light. You deserve a healthy loving relationship!
Great video Danna ❤. My self care is simply taking a day off of housework, cooking and laundry. Watching my favorite channels and allowing myself to cry. Today was that day. My son took his life one year ago today and I tend to hold it all in and pretend I'm ok. Today I chose to remember him, talk to him, cry to him, look at pictures of him and remember all the happy memories we had especially the past few years before he died. I miss him so much 😢. You deserve a great relationship with someone who is just right for you. I really believe you will find it it's just a matter of letting yourself be open to even guys that may not look your type.
Dear Theresa P., my words fail me as I try to write a note of love and condolence to you. The loss you have experienced is beyond comprehension. That you are still walking and working efficiently is the signature of strength. Opening up to others is a real forward step. Prayers for you and your family, 😢❤
Focus on your talents! My focus on men always gave me anxiety and no time to focus on myself! Thanks for sharing what you are going through…..so relatable
Bullpups. Do you need a hug or who peed in your cheerios today? Why so many rude comments on here? Pretty sure you chose to follow this page and pretty sure if you don’t like what you see or hear, you can hit the little unsubscribe button. Nobody is holding you here.
Danna, you've gotten so much spot-on advise and support here in the comments! Please take what resonates with you, take good care of you, but remember to pat yourself on the back, too. You paid attention to your gut; did something about it sooner rather than later; and you took some time to focus on self-care and reflection. Sending you love and peace! 💜
you know Danna, its ok to "go thru it" or "feel it" some days. we cant always have it together and feel good. SOme days we feel the icky. You share your life online, so you're being real and authentic by telling us, "its just not a good day, guys" and we get it. We are all human. I am sorry youre feeling triggered or off about this new relationship. If it doesnt feel right, you are correct in stepping back and taking time. You need to do whats best for you! Beautiful song!! Sending you all the love and support from Canada! PS. Aww, I want to send a care package! You said you'd put he address down below? I dont see it. I wrote it down from your audio. Hope I got the address correct.
You are so smart to be on top of the psychology of understanding people. It takes lots to figure people out. My mom married my dad just 6 months after he was divorced and my dad had been married 6 times already..my mom was love bombed. My dad continued onto wife number 8 doing this love bomb thing to all his woman.. lots of the same things yoy talk about he was doing. My mom called him a charmer. Little did she know he was not a charmer. He was good at what he did and women fell for it. You are so on top of everything, Dana. I know you will find the right person. Sometimes a man who is your best friend ends up being your person. Delay the romance and focus on a strong friendship with someone. If you have netflix, watch Virgin River. I watch it on repeat. Love and obsessed with the show. The main character, Mel has been through trauma and ends up with a man who was first a really good friend. Watch the show, 5 seasons. The show will give you insight and hope
i think taking time, slowing things down, reveals the lovebombers and manipulators from the genuine. The genuine stay through the wait.........the lovebombers want things at their speed. Teeny tiny steps gain trust and truth in my eyes.
Great video .. love people who can be honest and vulnerable...i always learn something...like I've never heard the term "love bombing" before. Very interesting. Love your voice and the song. Stay strong. You are a beautiful soul
I relate to childhood trauma and relationships. Self care is everything and difficult. Journaling is a God send ! I enjoy your organizational skills too seriously. Hang in there , you are an inspiration in the vlogging world
Oh Dana, my heart hurts for you but you are so intuitive and your gut guided you. I love your sharing, I wish I had been that aware when I was younger but I wasn’t, my self care has only started and in small ways but your inspiration has opened me up to new challenges in taking care of myself. Thank you. And I love your long videos. 💕💕💕
I would definitely buy a Montana Danna Journal - just make sure you can send them to Northern Ireland. Or come visit thar would be so cool. Love your reflective self care day. Im not great at self care. I need to work on that. You are most definitely not stupid or an idiot. We are are just going through life day by day, moment by moment. You have also gone through a lot over the last few months with moving and going through all your storage stuff. Continue to be kind to yourself. Looking forward to your album and Influencer the Musical. Sending you huge hugs sweetpea! Hope you got as some sleep! 🍀🥰🍀🥰🍀🥰🍀
I just found the perfect T shirt for you. I am a truecrime youtube addict. This T shirt is on Annie Elises website. On the back, it says PROFESSIONAL RED FLAG SPOTTER calling out red flags since 2020. There is a magnifying lens on the back. It is so perfect. I know you don't want anymore Tshirts, so let's just pretend we all got them and wear them proudly. I myself have a hard time spotting stuff as it is happening, having grown up in a dysfunctional family. I watch the Crappy Childhood Fairy from time to time because she explains the why's behind why we don't spot stuff. Her story is mind bending but now she helps others. ❤
I am also attracted to narcissists, I hate it’s taken me so long to realize the red flags. Many times too late. They know who love bombing works on. You are doing all the right things. I really enjoyed your song lol! Especially the “junk lyrics” . You have a beautiful voice!!!! 😊💕
Follow your gut. Your gut is speaking to you and you know exactly what you're doing. You have enough experience to notice the red flags. Those flowers are beautiful. 🌹
Trust yourself. I spent many, many years in a few relationships. Often it was what I or others thought I "should" do, but often what I found was that I would slowly give up myself just for the chance to stay in those situations. I have finally found a relationship that I CHOOSE to be part of. I put effort into it, but I don't have to do things/say things/accept/give things just in the hope it won't go away. I was often used or manipulated because of this. What I have now is equal, mutual, and healthy. Remember in any relationship there are only 2 things you can control: what you need and what you give. If you are open/honest with yourself you will give what is truly you and you will not settle on what you need. You will find the one. Self care: Cup of tea with honey and very old Sci Fi movies.
Aww Danna wish I could give you a big hug! 🥰 When I met my husband he waited 2 weeks to call and we took it really slow. I was always leary of the guys that were too eager and too complimentary when they don’t know who you are yet. You will meet that special guy one day because you are that special. Just focus on you right now and reach out to friends for hugs and community ❤❤❤❤
You are correct. All of that is love bombing. And no you are not an idiot. You recognized it in one weekend, not 1 or or 10 yrs. That is called smart. In your last video the look on your face told me you were stressed out and I am not at all surprised by this. You looked uncomfortable. So happy you found this out now. Not your fault. Not your problem.
I had never heard of love bombing! Thanks for educating me. I’m single contemplate dating now and then. It’s good to know this to recognize red flags. Thanks for the video!
Sorry you went through that! (I mention this in case it could be at all helpful.) I unfortunately dated a very "love-bombing" man a number of years ago, exactly like you described. He was both "falling in love with me" way too soon and later becoming cold and unempathetic (to the extreme). As it went on, he eventually became extremely verbally abusive over nothing I did wrong (bizarre) and I broke up quickly after seeing that red flag. I have no doubt he would have becoming physically abusive at some point as well later. He mentioned getting angry when he felt like he couldn't control me more. (I thought, bingo!) He did many things that were clearly meant to be manipulative. He tried to hide that he grew up in a physically abusive and emotionally neglectful home life in a strict religion. But I found out about some of the more unpleasant details of his past on his old comments on social media. Some people are just not capable of having healthy relationships but yet aren't self aware to realize this. Some people are better off single. Yes, I agree with the other comments here, if things feel off, or you're constantly made to feel anxious and on your guard, it's best to get out. I really hope you meet many nice people to have in your life! You have a lot to offer, my dear!
@@bullpups Actually it's not. It's when people choose to ignore there gut and stay in those bad relationships. Most people once they get out of those relationships recognize how many red flags that were right in front of them and they felt something wasn't right but they chose to continue to ignore those things or make excuses of why it's ok or isn't that bad.
@@user56gghtfdisagree. Broken people feel right with the wrong people. Your gut often wants to date people like your parents or people who caused them trauma. If you're subconscious is healthy following your gut is usually fine. But Danna has PTSD and her gut keeps getting her men that are wrong for her. She needs to listen to her head. Move away from the Mormons and find a nice boring man
Really appreciate you sharing your down days and how you deal in a healthy way! And yes, we all get those days, especially highly creative folks, whether they know they are creative or not. Also appreciated hearing about love bombing. I hope you have a refreshing sleep, and that your roses bloom beautifully and scent your room with goodness.
Self care: I a gym rat and I do weights on M/W/F, and Bob and Brad's stretches and exercises on T/Th then a COLD shower and sometimes a quick sauna visit (right across from shower). That is my self care right now. I shower at the gym and always have because I get so depressed or sleepy after work that I will just go to bed, so the gym is a guaranteed way to keep my body moving and clean. And I sleep religiously for 9 hours a night, or 7.5. I keep a silly spreadsheet of what I am doing online and Balance it. I balance hard and easy so life isn't so hard. I swim a lot so that is my self care in the summer. I change up my schedule with every season. ❤ And watching your videos is also in my self care because you are encouraging and uplifting.
Danna... dating sucks! I have been married and divorced twice, and I am currently on my third marriage. The first year has been hell, and I don't know why I remarried again at all. One thing is for sure, I have given him hell too. Because of my past trauma, I can be a little intense when he does something I don't like. I give you props to the work you are doing on yourself. It's important to take care and advicate for yourself. My marriage is up and down, but we keep on keeping on, and I have noticed a positive change in my husband. I hope I have some positive changes too, but I definitely don't always like how I handle myself. Hopefully, we can always learn something in these instances that makes us more personally aware.
You most likely have ptsd which can happen to many who have been married a few times. My mom was married 5 times and her ptsd was never treated. She had one husband traumatize her which left her not trusting anyone and therefore she battled inner demons which affected each new marriage
Maybe he’s just super excited about the potential. Is he a Gemini? I’m married to one. But I do think the best way to get know all the flaws is to travel with the person. There’s no perfect human being, but you do need to establish your deal breakers. From my experience, Men just don’t communicate like women.
Remember when I asked you a couple of weeks ago to come to Des Moines, IA to help me organize my apartment? Well since I haven’t heard from you… I got inspired by you bought some new bedroom furniture. I got a bed frame that has a 14” clearance from the floor so I can get some larger underneath storage boxes. New nightstands with 7 drawers to keep me better organized and keep my Goldendoodle puppy from reading my library books (which I now have to buy which defeats the purpose). Two new matching dressers which will hold my tv and clothing (which you wouldn’t want to know how I am keeping them now). Next up will be the kitchen. Oh before I forget I also need to empty my storage unit. Keep on inspiring me with your home projects. Love from Iowa.
Susie, I’m cheering you on! I’d help you if I lived closer. I finally got my stuff out of storage and now I’m in the process of decluttering. It’s painful but watching Dana also gives me motivation
I think once your apartment is in order, you will feel better. I find when things around me are cluttered, so is my brain. You have lots going on and that doesn’t help. One day the right person will come into your life. For me, the day I quit looking was the day it happened for me. We were together 42 years.
Ahhhh this is so familiar it's wild. You're awesome for being so mindful and self reflective. Noticing and honoring the moments you feel triggered is really respectable and lots of people can learn from you talking about this. I think more people than we realize actually settle through fear of being alone. It's really not an easy time to date, either. The landscape is totally different than it was 5 or 10 years ago. Especially as a self aware and self sufficient woman, who is also kind and empathetic. I'm 36 and have really similar experiences and it sounds like we have experienced similar things in relationships. I'm tired 😅 Once you become self aware, it's hard to settle for less than. The person that will compliment your energy is going to be phenomenal and that's exciting!
I know it’s very painful to leave someone you care about but you are so wise in your analysis of the situation. You will find the right person soon. Love ya ❤❤❤
Ohh Danna it took me a while to find this video. I wanted this video just for this song. It’s my favorite song ever. I wish you had a channel only with your songs. I would listen to it all the time. It makes me feel better on weird days ❤I’m not feeling good today
@@lauramoor7730 oh, that makes me so happy and inspired to do more music. Thank you so much. I actually have a music channel, it was what I did before blogging. It only has a few public videos videos, but check them out if you want to RU-vid.com/dannarichards
@@montanadanna thank you I would love to check it out. I’m going to. U have such a beautiful voice honestly honestly, if I had one wish I wish I had a voice like you would be singing all the time I wouldn’t care about anybody else, but myself and my voice maybe I say this now because I’m heartbroken and I’m really sad, I’m happy for you. I see that you’re doing really well and it makes me really happy to see. I know you have been struggling and going through a lot you deserve this so much.
Aww, certainly was hoping for a normal guy with a steady personality that fit with your vibrant spirit! Yes many of us have been down that road that wakes up your danger danger internal mechanism, and I'm proud that you were alert enough to step back and rethink what is really happening. Take a break, but stay open to unexpected meetings that hold promise. Keep those standards high Danna, you deserve the real thing💕. Thanks for the update, sorry it didn't work out.
Thanks for this video,... my guy just dumped me few days ago, major high speed love love love... to the other day, he panicked and said let's just be friends, I don't wanna lose you. Alot of what you said, I feel the same that happened to me over the past 8 months. Sigh... been crying hard and upset. I feel so stupid and lost and hurt.
Oh lovely Danna I'm so sorry, my heart aches for you right now. You defiantly did the right thing listening to your intuition, you need to protect your heart when others don't. I was in a situation like this a little while ago and it almost... or maybe it did, brake me. But you just have to keep going, focus on you and what makes you feel for filled and safe. You are such kind lovely person, you deserve to be treated with all the kindness and care you give to others. Keep Being your wonderful self it will all work out. Sending you love and positive thoughts from England Xx
Don’t feel stupid…..their problem, not yours. You are a wonderful person and you are learning so much after each relationship. I am happy you caught this early on!! You deserve the best! That nervous feeling is huge - have had that several times!! I ended these relationships immediately after having that nervous feeling when I was alone. My gut would just kill me.
😊 danna giving a relationship with anyone a chance is scary to me also i have been hurt many of times 😊 glad you caught it early hope you have a better day tomorrow 😊
Thank you for the love 😊😊 it is very scary to put yourself out there, but I have no doubt that there’s a healthy relationship right around the corner 💖💖
a hug your way shining star 🌟 I'm sorry for not having healthy suggestions, I believe you're dealing with everything wisely. you just left me with a lot to think about. I didn't know the love bombing concept. thank you for sharing your life experience with us.
You're a really good person and you're doing great. You deserve a partner that doesn't need to manipulate emotionally to feel powerful. You have good instincts and you deserve all the goodness! Thanks for sharing.
Oh dang was hoping that wasn’t the deal with gifts and a trip so soon but at least you recognized it and exited stage. Just be vigilant you know some of these people like to continue ugly games. Much love and hugs.
OK, so I started out this video by reading the comments. I was skeptical in thinking the comments may have been too harsh or maybe jumping the gun on this one. What if he just really liked her? Is it love-bombing to just be really into someone? But I now see how naive and vulnerable I could be at being love-bombed. Man! That's sneaky, and scary! But dang, Danna! You really are very intuitive. Good for you!
We were both very intense with each other and falling very quickly, it was the 180 turnaround that was so shocking for me and really made me pull back :( oh well, better now than later on I suppose. I think if both people are giving compliments and love and it’s giving each other energy and it’s consistent then that is such a beautiful thing ✨💖
You are so smart Danna. 2 weeks is record time to find out what you did about love bombing! Unfortunately the only way to find out what you did about him was by opening up to him and seeing how he reacted to your vulnerability. Always trust your gut. The fact that you have to question it, is your sign! And he wasn’t the one for you anyways since he didn’t want kids! Right?
You never settle for toxic behaviour. You are amazing, stop saying you’re dumb for this happening to you. You took a chance and stopped when you recognised the red flags. Sounds smart to me ❤❤❤
