Mother Unit trust me! I married to one but I had to straighten him up and setting up boundaries and limitations towards his parents. I’m glad my husband was able to realized what his parents are doing. Thank God!!!
Nesthy Adventures omg that is a success story. Not all stories are like that: Head on to reddit and go to JUSTNOMIL where you can read stories about husbands being so attached to their mothers that their mom becomes their mommywifey and the son and actual wife get left behind the dust. So Gross.
I dated a guy like this at the beginning of college. His relationship with his mom was borderline Oedipal, and he clearly got his overbearing personality from her. The woman made my life hell when I finally had enough and broke up with her precious baby. Seriously, be careful who you get involved with!!!
It could be worse, my mom forces me to stay at home and have to drive to campus and back home for over 100 miles. I'm more than willing to stick a gun in my mouth.
Gross. They even beleive their mom is "selfless". Not a clue that her behavior is anything but that. She's a control freak and extremely selfish. She does this for her, not her kids. How she feels is what's important, not her kids. They will see how she reacts and behaves if they ever put a stop to it. Her true selfishness will come out. She's needs help.
I felt anxious watching the mom organize her son's lives, I feel like this is really hindering their mental and social development. They might say that they are grateful now (whether that is a lie for the camera because they know their mom will see it or not) but I don't think they fully understand the full situation, but when they get a partner or when they turn 25 they wont be appreciating moms input 24/7. I mean my parents are pretty overprotective but this is a completely different level that it's actually scary.
No, she had shitty, shitty parents. She was neglected as a child and never got over the pain so she's living vicariously through her kids. She plans to absorb his future wife as a new daughter too.
My mother wants to be like that with me, but once I moved out of her house, I started living in my way. She is mad at me because I won't let her have the control, but she would never admit it. That is why she tells me all the time how I am such a bad daughter and a mean person. I know she is not in her right mind, but it hurts.
Romy EC a lot of mothers hate to admit when they’re wrong and will never fess up to being controlling. That’s why it’s best to set boundaries and know what and what not for her to be concerned with.
YOU need to take control. If she calls, don't answer. Never be the one to pick up the phone. Always be the one to initiate conversation with her. If she insults you like that, cut contact for a while. a week minimum, preferably a month. After a year or so, she'll start to get the picture that she has no power. Trust me on this. I went through the same situation. This is the only thing that works.
You did the right thing by going your own way. I had to eventually cut my family off completely. The controlling was getting extreme. Too toxic, had to walk away.
And I feel REALLY sorry for their future wives. The helicopter behaviour doesn't stop at college, as I found out, one divorce later. I married a husband AND his mother.
Hurting. Children need to learn how to do things themselves and to have their privacy. By being a helicopter parent , you have a higher chance of your children being social outcasts which may affect their daily lives and even professionally, some may even develop mental illnesses. A parents job is to prepare a kid for the working world , to be their guide and support them ,not restricting them.
She going to do this when they get jobs? She's doing so much long term damage. They're going to be terrible employees and terrible husbands. And then they'll become depressed because they won't know what to do differently. Yeah it would be nice to have that kind if help, but it's not reality. But these guys will expect life to be like this.
This woman is ridiculous! How can her boys even live? She is completely stifling them! How will they ever learn to do stuff on their own if she is constantly running their lives for them? Is she going to come to their houses and wake them up every morning, and dress them for work? Good god woman, get YOUR OWN life!
This mom reminds if Bitzi Baxter, a divorcee in the PBS kids show "Arthur" who was a helicopter mom to her 8 year old son Buster, though she eased off in the later seasons.
Probably the exact opposite. It’s sad, really. I plan on encouraging independence starting from age three with my kids. I’m not going to be their personal servant.
Don’t mind me. I’m just afraid of everything. i so agree. im sure she has some abandonment attachment issues. my parents are helicopter parents and i think their parents were the complete opposite
My moms a giant helicopter mom, I can never go out of the house, I'm not allowed to lock the doors, always reminded to do homework that I've already, brush my teeth, deodorant. It's terrible it's this terrible feeling it's like, your parents see you as an adult but they treat you as a kid.
One of the things that these helicopter parents say "I will stop treating you a kid once you stop acting like a kid." Maybe these parents will be respected as adults when you start acting like an adult.
I think that she should just let them get on by themselves and learn to become properly independent. I agree that they should keep in contact with a weekly phone call or something but not every hour.
wow, great job teaching your kids responsibility mom! They gonna have a real awakening when they get out into the real world... but I'm sure these kids that have been denied learning any responsibility will be at home until their 30s. So sad that helicopter parents think they're doing the kids a favour but all they do is stunt their growth.
That is the only way to take your life back. Cutting off contact and making her know that she does not call the shots. If you want to talk, you call her. Not the other way around.
I lived with one. I got so sick of it, I kicked him out in the snow. His parents called and threatened to call the australian embassy. I had to teach the guy how to do his own laundry. The guy never payed rent and while I worked he was jacking off on porn sites on the internet. And if he got upset about pathetic minor stuff, he would go into a 5 year old tantrum and throw my stuff around the house. He was a breathing nightmare to be with. Never again. He was such a self entitled narcissist brat, that he truly believed that after 5 years of our split I'd be running back to him. Believe it or not, his mother went with him to his very first job interview. The guy was practically mentally handicapped and had major narcissistic issues.
Hurting. Because the only thing overbearing nut jobs protect are their paranoid feelings. I never feel flattered when someone acts protective I find them annoying and also disrespectful. Because do they realise how insulting it is to be seen as an individual who can't look after her own?
Doesn't that mom believe in her sons enough to let them do university on their own? If I was in their shoes, I'd turn off my phone, and keep all my passwords for e-mail and for my bank account private.......and I probably wouldn't enroll at a university that had a "Hi Mom" camera that my parents could use to spy on me through the Internet. How effective would that even be? A large university has maybe 30,000 students, so you could sit and watch all day without seeing your kid.
When I went to the part where she said "well you shouldn't have your phone on vibrate so you can hear me" My god that was just like my mom, if I was even one min late she was calling and texting asking where I was at, one day I waited until I was in front of our door and when she called saying "where are you?" "I'm outside our door," "Why?" Walks inside "hellerrrr!"
LOL - how does that mom have time to hold down a job? Seems like invading her kids' lives is 24/7. I thought going away to college was partly for the benefit of learning how to manage your own life.
When I moved out, my mother tried her damndest to be this type of mother. We've had many conversations of boundaries and her 'helicopter parenting' is not okay. She's good now, FINALLY. I'm 32 years old.
This obsessive control has nothing to do with her children's safety or wellbeing, it all about the fact that she feels out of control with in her own life, which leaves bff her frantically grasping at all and anything she can control regarding her children , which gives her anxiety a moment rest.
Honestly my dad left when i younger and i bearly see him and he was abusive yes but the only good thing about him is that he lets me do things on my own ....
this is far better than traditional types of neglect but it is still neglectful of letting them grow up and learning to be a man.my 5 yr old daughter has far more freedom and independence than those boys.
I see this controlling behaviour as mental abuse. No different than if it was a spouse treating their partner this way. "Where are you?..who were you with?...why haven't you called?...." Smh.
Howdy there keefers that why I like having siblings. We have strict parents so to speak but they are by no means helicopters. The attention gets spread out and I can live.
Middle school is when the my folks stopped checking my homework. By high school they only wanted my transcript grades. “We are paying for tuition you better be doing well.” (Not that harsh but legit they are praying for my housing books and university). It’s great that family is close. I’m extremely close with my mother and I call her a few times a week. However, she was very excited to send me out traveling and to school on other side of the country! Big transition but such a great experience. I get homesick, but i like being on my own and making my own schedule. Owning my success and failures. Though, I think the best lesson my mom taught me was that being independent means knowing when to ask for help.
Wow she does every thing for them im 14 and i have to press my own school trousers and make cups of tea for my parents. Saying that i would hate it for my mum to be overbearing like that
I grew up in a home with a helicopter mom. She kept my older sister's homework, so if I got the same teacher that year, my mom would pull out that homework, and have me copy it. She did that in Junior High and High School, so I practically cheated at her hand. She would also hover over me as I did my homework, and NEVER gave me any sort of personal space, so I developed a severe anxiety and paranoia of people looking over my shoulder. She also told me who I could hang out with, and if it was someone she didn't know and it was a guy friend, she would tell me my guy friend would try to rape me. I only got my freedom when I got married and moved away. The affects of helicopter parenting still haunt me today. I have caught myself dozens of times asking my husband permission to do something, and he'd tell me, "Hon, you're an adult. Why are you asking me if it's okay?"
yeah your not helping you are enabling him to depend on you for the rest of his life and whats going to happened when he gets married alot of women dont like a mommas boy
OMG! These guys are babies. This woman needs help. My 13 year old does some shopping. 10 year old girl does some cooking of her own and tidied up after. Mother and boys need help asap, pleeeaaaasssssse!
Jesus Christ this would be so annoying I just hate seeing parents that a too over protective I mean there is nothing wrong with being protective but not to this point because by doing this the kids will become too dependent to their parents and they will never learn how to do anything by themselves
I can understand helping your childrens out with some of the things this woman does, but not everything. Though being something of a secretary is kinda cute, but not going over board like with the passwords and checking their school work in college, high school sure but not college. Now when my kids go to college, she can stay at home if she wants, but if she goes off to another state then I'll be happy to get them settled and make sure there taken care of, just not crazy taken care of.
I understand parents Love their kids and it’s hard to let them go after 18 years but what this mom is doing is she is keeping her kids in a bubble and if she doesn’t pop that bubble these kids aren’t going to be able to survive in the real world
The easy solution is to stop paying for their college and then you do not have to worry! My sons paid for their own tuition. One son never took a dime, my other son was given $400 a month from his dad. This son has a disability and could not work as many hours, although he did have a job. We told our boys, look, we are going to stay out of this, but if you need help, please call. There were a few times here and there that they did call. Wasn't about money but issues in the class rooms and or girl/friend issues. I was so excited that they felt like they could call and ask for advice.
It's funny because my mom never did this for me (eldest of 2 and only daughter). But does most of this for my brother (youngest and only boy). IDK why it's one over the other. Maybe because my mom sees me as a mother in training XD
"I can see here that he is on Pornhub!" "He shouldn't be on Pornhub, there are two many adds there that could affect him negatively. He should be on XHamster instead: More amateur porn there. I will just favorite that site right there for him* #LoveMom:) Done!"
I did this a little. Texted a goodnight at 9:30 every night with a reminder to take his meds (became epileptic at 15) so after seeing one of his seizures I couldn’t help it. It seemed it didn’t matter though, totally ignored me when his girlfriend dumped him because of the “distance” in colleges. Had 2 seizures back to back - his roommate called. After a while I stopped and hoped for the best.
In my opinion since her son is about 18 or 19 I would say that she is being away overprotective and is hurting him in terms of being a helicopter parent she doesn't give him freedom he's 19 for crying out loud let him be.
You know you sound dumb when u use helicopter parent when it’s not real. All I see was a abusive mother that’s all I don’t need to label her anymore you children of this new generation are so lazy instead of admitting it’s a unhealthy way to raise children u give it a unrealistic name that makes no sense and have no clear definition. I think you are no worse then her a spoiled individual with no self respect. If I see this behaviour I call it abuse and explain to parent why it would affect her children future that’s the right thing to do. Stop labelling people nothing good comes from it it’s called abusive parent.
she might be the helicopter mum but somehow she is so sweet and has a lot self-awareness. I am surprised that she actually understand that she would be separated with her sons one day and wanting to aim for best relationship with their wives. I am saying this because my MIL is so insecure to the point that she got into competition with me. Obviously, when I decided to have no relationship with her, she probably realised that was not what she wanted.
"I don't have to make a list." What happens when she can't do that anymore? What happens if she stops? Now what? That's the problem. You aren't teaching them. They need to learn how to o this stuff, they're in college!
The ONLY way to deal with helicopter parents is to cut off all contact. It may seem harsh, but it's necessary. Make sure they know that you will only talk to them if YOU want to.
yeah no she wants to make friends with the wife so she can just micromanage not only her sons, their wives, and children until the day she dies. Between doing the laundry, grocery shopping, cleaning their dorms, calling them every other hour, and planning every single hour of their day .. NO, NO NO NO NO. She would make a great secretary, but that does not work as a parent. I feel bad for future spouses. If she keeps doing this now, why would you think that she will ever stop?
this reminds me of my first year at uni... my parents would call me (literally) up to 30x a day and send dozens of text messages if I missed a call -.- 4 years later, and they still have access to all my uni stuff & want to know where I am 24/7 -.-
Calling the multiple times a day? Checking their school information and monitoring their social media activity? Doing their laundry for them? Doing their dishes for them? Cleaning their dorm rooms for them? Really? This woman is nuts if she thinks she is helping!
Wow look how far we come in almost 8 yrs now cellphones are even more advanced and we got a whole nother genoration in entering college who see phones like that LG keyboard phones as old school.
Omg how’s that going to work when they get wives and have children. I have a feeling it’s going to be hard for them to lockdown a girlfriend never mind wife.
Lordy, I think I'd strangle my mother if she was like this. If you can't learn to manage your own life and learn that actions have consequences when you leave home then when can you?
