Hey Steve: A Controlling Mom 

Lol this girl looks so pissed. She certainly didn't get the answer she was looking for 😂😂

She looks like she regrets asking steve anything.😂

While I feel her pain, the truth is as Steve says - you can't have the responsibility of a child and want to be treated like an adult.

She's 22 and doing something with her life it will all pay off soon

Looks like she's about to cry.

“People in hell want ice water” 😂😂😂

Loooolz...This is the worst thing she could ever ask Steve...guess she didn't watch other videos to see Steve's opinion on such topic.

He had me at "why is she so quiet?" lol

Girl if you need your freedom, move out..she is your mom

I was raised by my grandparents and they were very controlling. So, when I turned 18, I learned that in order for me to actually live my life, I would have to get a job and use my own money and stop relying on them. So that's what I have been doing. I'm almost 23 now and I always use my own money for things, I don't borrow from them often and when I do it's not much and I always pay them back really quickly so that I don't owe them anything and I'm not tied down. If you want freedom, you have to purchase it yourself.

She looks reallll angryyy 😬😂

Favorite part *why is she so quite*

she was about to cry

You got six months left on your sentence 😂😂 I laughed so hard!

Yeah I disagree with this one. As a parent if your child is in college you know 9 times out of 10 they are broke and are not financially stable so why even expect them to contribute to gain independence or privacey? Sounds like the mom needs to get a life or a hobby.

She looks like a good girl...respectful and all☺️

Steve’s dad said, people in hell want cold water? really! This made ma ❄️morning 🤣🤣🤣

She looks bothered

Hey I'm 22 and graduating in May too!!! Class of 2019!!! 👨‍🎓

Her face told it all. I wonder if there were details that she missed that could have explained how her mom is controlling beyond jumping on her facetime calls and asking about her grades. I know that they only have so much time to ask the question but if her mom is truly controlling and not just a concerned or nosy parent she needed more details. How is she controlling? Does she make her eat certain food? Does she drive her to and from class? Does she only allow her to use Uber as opposed to taking the bus if she wants? Is she not allowed to go to college parties? Does she choose her friends, clothes, major, job, etc? That's controlling. Asking about grades and jumping on call is concern and/or nosy.

I love it when they ask a question expecting Steve to take their side and he takes the other party’s side. Schooled! 😂😂😂

I did at least half of the stuff he mentioned and I still got treated like a child. It will only get better if you are not living under her roof or anyone else's.

Sis I'm going through the same thing. If she hasn't already she should get a job if she can that way she can spend her own coin and won't be liable to anybody. Contribute a little to household bill or items or just get your mum something you know she will like and appreciate and also you will need to assert your independence. If your doing all of that you can come to your mother and tell her'i am no longer a child or teenager and the only way I will grow and be self reliant is if you give me the space to do just that'. Another thing is you don't need to tell her every plan and deyail because they will try and ruin them (controlling moms). Sometimes just do things on your own accord and forget about letting her know EVERYTHING.

I agree that she can't complain because she's living there all expenses paid but in black households we tend to think that lack of privacy and space is the price you have to pay for not living on your own. Those are things that everyone deserves no matter what the circumstances.

When I got evicted from my first apartment when I thought I was a “big girl” at 20 years old and thought I could handle is the when I regretted moving out so early 😂💸 ENJOY IT SIS, get a job, save up money and move out when you’re financially free

Things like this make kids push farther away from their parents. If my mom was like this. I'd move out as soon as I'm able and get stepping. Sorry not sorry. She probably only hear from me twice a month. Her mother sounds out of control

I feel so sad for her she was trying to ask a question no one is taking her seriously

"Why she is so quiet?"🤣🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂😂😂😂

Hang in there girl... the day my mom got mad at me and she almost said you're grounded but then realized I'm grown live by myself and pay my bills.. oh that sweet day... lol

“People in hell want ice water” DEAD 😂

Girl take it from somebody whole left home at 29, and had a mom like yours. (I even paid bills every month). You will never have what you want until you leave her house. So just deal wid it till you can leave. Lol I feel for u though.

I get that she lives in her mom house but she should still be able to have her own privacy! Living in someone house doesn’t give them the right to just disrespect you💯

Why do Americans always feel the need to drive their kids out of the house. It makes financial sense to live with your family if your college/university is close to home. It also makes sense to save your salary for a house/mortgage. Why waste your money on unnecessary rent and bills. I love Steve but this was not the right way to approach this. There's a difference between being a vigilant parent and being a nosy parent. Her mother is nosy. Her daughter is an adult and should be treated as such...it doesn't matter if she lives with them or not.

Right on point Steve. I still live with my parents (during the summer). I paid for my own car, gas, groceries, car maintenance and repair. I work two jobs. I hang out with friends on weekends. I give them private time and they give me mine as well as long as I'm home by 11:00pm my parents doesn't ask questions.

I love Steve but I didn't like his answer. I felt like she genuinely came there to get some advice and it got thrown back in her face unnecessarily. I can understand her mum asking where she's going but hopping in on her FaceTime calls? Her mum is doing too much.

Considering the economic situation and the loans and lack of trust in terms towards millenials abilities in hiring for work, we are still living in our parents homes. Not entirely our fault. Secondly, parents need to respect privacy; my parents did and i haven't done anything crazy or out of bounds because i liked the trust that was given.

I just sent this to all my kids especially my 17 year old daughter cause this is her all day. You can't depend on your parents and call yourself grown. AND ANY HELP YOU GET AFTER YOU FINISH HIGH SCHOOL IS A BLESSING! Be lucky you can stay in your mom house as an adult and not help. She helping you gain Independence by letting you stay responsibility free!

I understand how she feels, i paid my way at home and everytime i got a raise my mum would raise the bills. So i didnt tell her saved quietly and moved out. Some mums are to controlling and get in your business way to much. Pls note before you reply to this. My mum was extremely toxic and is an alcoholic and loves to spread rumours.

You got 6 months left on your sentence LOL 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Steve’s one liner comeback answers are hysterical and one of a kind😂😂😂

Steve didn’t understand the question… no matter you live with your parents , you need your privacy . You can’t be all in my phone and asking who I’m FaceTiming , give your child space and the more strict you are , the less your child will feel comfortable to talk to you about things

Only thing I'm going to say is parents should never tell their kids... If you don't like it... Leave. They just might do it... Like I did. I'm so tired of hearing my mom cry about how she's worried about me... In my eyes... You shouldn't have ever told me to get out! Now I want nothing to do with her. No decent parent wants their kid to leave. You say you do but then when they really do leave... What will you do?

You can still set boundaries. There are ways you've acted with your kids when they were little that you can't continue to do when they're older. They have a mind of their own. They have likes/dislikes too and parents have to respect that. Parents can't do whatever they want because they aren't always right. They're human too.

My mom “WANTED” me to stay dependent to her.

As a person who lives with their parents I know how she feels...

I don’t understand the Americans obsession with money and “independence”. If she moved out she probably would need to be studying and waiting tables on the side. Is cleaning tables for tips a life of independence? Just let her invest in her future right now and do the best that you can so that she can succeed. It’s your kid, she deserves better treatment that any friend that would be living with you. Try to enjoy their company while you can.

I had similar issues with my mother and asked the same question and go the same answer. But it doesn't answer WHY. "Because I can, and if you don't like it, you can leave," is not an answer for WHY certain rules are made. I own a house and can make whatever rules I want when people come to visit. I don't, however, make unreasonable rules in an effort to control people. If I did, I wouldn't have any friends.

Black parents do too much. And most of the time some stuff is petty just to do something . Let us live or we’ll leave and never come back to visit. Now I’m not being a brat cause half my family had to talk yo them about letting us go sometimes.

It's weird. She's 22. Her mother doesnt need to be that involved. She shouldnt even want to be.

Wow why does everything have to be about money? Parents like this if you paid them they will still use the ‘you are under my roof’ line to be disrespectful. Parents like this still try to control your life when you have your own place, pay your own bills, and have your own car. Steve compared a situation where a brat asked for something she doesn’t need to someone asking for respect of her boundaries. Proves people don’t listen. It’s called manipulation and control not about “raising kids the old fashioned way” which btw created a lot of damaged people. I bet her mom is single because she doesn’t mention her father. Father’s have to remind mothers to let a child go a little and stop trying to treat them like a baby or they will never grow. They will not know how to make their own decisions in the world because moms are always over them. Otherwise single moms will be controlling and abusive. This form of parenting that Steve agrees with when the child is already in college is not parenting it’s toxic. The girl is an adult and that’s the problem now that I had to overcome. When you raise a child to never respect their boundaries or privacy guess what they will tolerate in adult life because it’s become normalized? Men and friends that will treat them the same way and they won’t understand why. It also encourages a child to not speak up for themselves and be treated any kind of way. Telling your mom where you are going...that’s fine. Her sitting up in your personal calls and FaceTime that’s crazy! That’s overboard. She ain’t 12 or even 16 Steve. And y’all wonder why single young women end up settling for the wrong type of guys and living with them or leaving home and not coming back....it’s because they couldn’t keep their sanity in their home while trying to save up money and stay in school. Respect is not a form of money it is an act of love. I bet it would be different if a woman said a list of requirements to warrant respect from her when you Steve ask her for respect. You would be insulted that you have to do something just to be respected. This mentality needs to die! No different than being a slavemaster saying that they feed their slave and give them a little shack and a job so they have no reason to complain about how they are being treated. Same messed up mentality.

this is tricky in my opinion because yes she does live under her mother while finishing up school. There will always be some type of rules under parents house. But her mom needs to realize that shes 22. you raised her well and rules regarding the house is understandable but looking over her ft calls or asking bout hw like huh lol. She a whole senior clearly shes been keeping up with what she has to do.

Why's she so quiet? 😂 Folks, that's the silence of a dependent! 😂😂😂😂

First time I’m saying this.....bad answer Steve :( she has a voice, shes 22. Her mom needs to back off a little bit, give her space and allow her to be the woman she is. It’s not always about who pays the bills.

This aint new rims. This is respect and privacy.

Her mom asks where she’s going, whether she’d done her homework and will try to jump in on FaceTime calls. Is this how you treat a college senior? A young woman who can vote? I’m sorry, but this level of parenting is more appropriate so a 10 year old. And violating her daughter’s FaceTime privacy is a violation of her privacy. If it were her husband who drops in on her FaceTime calls instead of her mom, would that be ok? Clearly not! Yet, by accepting this from her mom, she’ll probably be ok with dating men who get jealous and want to know where she is, who she’s with and ask to see her phone history. Because she’s used to being treated like a child!

30 years from now: why are you putting me in a nursing home? Why don’t you ever call?

I'm a college student paying my bills and I'm 20. When I go home on breaks, my mom treats me the same way if I stay longer than a week.

I can see how she could be upset because my mom is the same way and I’m in college too. Getting a job goes a long way! You get a job and pay SOME sort of rent, buy your own lil groceries and a water case, and save for a sturdy reliable car... she can’t say a damn thing to you because at that point YOU’RE A TENANT.

I think that is a dated perspective. I once rule with the same iron fist. However I have come to realize you have to give them a little freedom to be an adult; because someone who think their freedom is being suppress will rebel no matter how long it might take. Some might wait to they're on there own, but they may not respect you, or even resent you; because you didn't respect them; and treated them like a child by invading their privacy just because it was your house; and you pay the bills etc..

People in hell want ice water🤣🤣🤣

Look here baby it's call "If you don't like the way your Momma is steering HER ship, you can always get off and get your own".

I don't get these made up rules black households have. If a young person isn't able to feel independent while still having the safety net of their parents, it will only be harder later on. It like high schoolers who have everything planned out for them and have to raise their hands to go to the bathroom, then all of a sudden they have to figure out their entire lives on their own. It's ridiculous and counterproductive.

I 1000% disagree. So because she doesn't pay bills or pay a mortgage she can't be on the phone in peace? I don't understand why parents think that because they pay a mortgage that they have the right to be so controlling and unnecessarily overbearing. Certain things are just concern as a parent, I get that. However, she's in college and she's still an adult, but because she can't find the light bill she shouldn't be able to enjoy some time and space to herself?? That's stupid. That's exactly how to drive your son/daughter away and create resentment. Period.

Been in her position, only much later in life due to a medical event. I appreciate my mom and did every minute I lived there. The problem, though, is living with someone who is in your business. There is still a right to privacy even in someone else's home. Where am I going? Her favorite question as well, none of your dang business!

When I was 15, I got told "the day you act like a man in this house is the day you can go find your own house to be a man in." I was out by 16 after a misunderstanding. Now that I have my own kids, I agree with Steve. If I'm paying your bills, you're eating my food, using my utilities, sleeping under my roof, and not giving me money, you follow my rules.

there is something called narcissistic mothers. dont know she might have one.. maybe..if so, then this would have hurt her so much

This girl is about to be INDEPENDENT once she graduates. That mom ain’t gonna hear from her once she’s gone 😂

When you go and don’t get the answer you wanted 😂

Y’all can talk about “contributing” all you want, but this kind of behavior drives kids away. If she’s 22 she has her own life and her own business, whether or not she pays the light bill. When she finally moves out her mom isn’t gonna have any idea what’s going on in her life, because she’ll be so happy to have her out of her face 24/7.

Steve took her chain, which is the truth. So now she you gonna cry in the car, which mean she can't handle the truth, LOL 😂😂😂.

A certain level of privacy is needed at some point.

If she tells the mother she's moving out to live with a guy the mother would change immediately.

Steve didn't really have answer to her que, I saw d pains in her coz I'm 22 this Oct and my mom never treat me like that, parent need to chill most expecially when that have a calm and focusing child like this. She's so calm n beautiful until mom pissed her off smh

I think the fact that she doesn’t contribute economically to her mom’s house or car etc doesn’t have nothing to do with the fact that she deserve to be treated well, as a human being, every human being has the right to feel himself free and not being controlled. Controlling is a misbehavior caused by insecurity.

“People in hell want ice water” my mama has said that to my countless times...I think every black child has heard this from someone in they family 😂

It’s not that easy for 20 somethings to go to college and support themselves and pay for student debt because jobs don’t pay enough and the cost of school has gone through the roof. I feel like it’s easy to say oh just be independent and move out. That’s obvious if she had the money she would clearly have done that by now. She needs to learn to set boundaries with her mother.

she looks so nervous man. he right, but she asked!! LMBO

Be happy you have a mother that cares. Its a blessing.☺💚❤

Hell I'm 21 and I already figured this out. You wanna be independent? Move out. Now I live with my parents, but when they need it I help with groceries, car payment, bills, gas, everything. Hence, they give me a LOT more freedom than I should have if I'm under their roof.

😂 🤣 😂 ‘Why is she so silent???’ ROLLING!!!!

Her mom just needs to find a hobby or a man lol problem solved

"You want new rims on a truck that ain't even a year old, but you don't have new rim money." Tell 'em Steve, You tell them!!! 💕💕💕💕💕👍👍👍

I don't agree with Steve on this one. She's still an adult it's not like she's 18 in high school.

Why do these young uns feel they're independent just cause they're 22 ,but still dependant on their parents?🤔 I understand everybody needs some privacy.Even dependant children.

How does he answer every question so perfectly like he is always prepared

Thats folks is the silence of a dependant 😅🤣🤣

Mr. Steve, you're so funny, but you got the right and perfect answer for most of the 'hey steve' sessions. Good job to you, sir.

She didnt know what to say, where to go, where to hide. Nuttin!!!!

I was never like that with my step children. They were boys and I treated them as adults from the time I ment them at age 14 and 16. Long as they stayed in school good grades and completed they got anything they wanted from their dad and I. They had a job here and there but they wanted to focus on college so that's what happen. The 16 yr old is now 25 yrs old going for his bachelor degree in business management and expecting his first child with a sweet young lady who is also a college graduate in photography. And the 14 who is 23 he has mental health issues but he got his ged and working. Point is even tho they were under our roof we was NOTHING like this lady. O Lord and privacy they had they own space and we didn't invade on certain things but they always talked to us about things sooooo...

Rims on a truck is not the same issue as mom peeping in on her video calls. I dont follow these parents who "insist" their children get a degree as early as possible, then dont want to support them while they're in school. Perhaps if parents were more open to the college decision being the child's, they wouldn't find themselves weary in the last semester & longing for their child to leave the house.

Gotta give your kids room to grow and make they own choices Can’t hold their hands forever 🤷🏻‍♂️

Parents: I want you to act like an adult, but only when it is a convince to me. The rest of the time you are a child and I have no say

I understand the "my house, my rules" stance, but personal privacy still needs to be respected. Hopping in on phone calls is just plain overbearing and meddling in someone's privacy. It's also extremely annoying.

Lol people in hell wants ice water 😅😅😅😅😂😂

Not the right way to raise a child. Can't hold a house over their head. There are better means.

now her mother has steve's response over her head too.

If mom and dad make it all about money, then when the kid move out it will be all about money. don't ask me why i didnt call you mama.. i paid you back right? later

"Do You make Tha Car Payment?" Why Is She So Quiet??? LMAO..😂🤣😂🤣

if i have kids i def won't treat them like that if they wanted to stay with me while in school, my parents were controlling so i left when i was 18 and even when i came back for holidays they had zero respect for me being an adult so , i cut them off

It feels like Steve should’ve given more example just to make it more clear. Like “if you move out, paying for your own rent/mortgage, buying your own food, paying for your own bills, paying for the rest of the necessities, then you are independent” lol I know he mentioned some but should be direct like that