Always be your own best friend first. There are too many pickmes out there due to patriarchal conditioning who compete with other women, are jealous and will throw other women under the bus. Always vet potential friends like you vet your dates. Don’t tell your friends private, personal details either. Save that for your mom or therapist!
@Faerie Tidbits I even go far enough to say, "I am my own best friend first!" "I am taking "ppl" off the pedestal where I used to place them subconsciously, and putting myself there!" "I am Mrs. Married to myself first!" "I am carrying wife energy with me everywhere I go all day everyday!" "I am me!" "I am sweet!" And I am worthy of people with all the wonderful traits I've been given naturally aka is my natural state if being!"
As someone who has recently lost a bunch of friends as I began my level up journey I am giving myself grace and keeping to myself for now. It was really hard to have people I loved cheer my journey only to have it turn into a "who the hell do you think you are" level haters. I trust God that the right people will come because I am doing the work on myself.
Don't make friends based on traumas/struggles aka just because you and another woman/women have the same emotionally painful circumstance, doesn't mean you should be friends with her. Check if she has the same empathy like you, love like you, loyalty like you, authenticity like you! Heck, see if she will even reach out to you to do things. It's not good to end up being the only one who thinks of things to do, or call all the time first. 💥💥💥 P.s. soooo true! None of my friends like sports stuff, except one, but rollerskating, none!
Whew! Yes! Making friends based on trauma can be so tempting but there's not always depth there and everyone heals differently. The core values and putting in equal effort to make it work are so much more important 💕
Be incredibly picky with people you let into your life. They can either make or break you. Toxic people (doesn’t matter which type of relationship) can seriously age you in many ways - mentally, physically, emotionally etc. A true friend won’t make you feel anything negative. You should be able to freely disagree with each other and share opinions without worrying about how your relationship will get impacted. There should be no feeling of stepping on eggshells. It should feel completely normal if you guys meat up after a long time and you can just pick up the convo from where you left it. No jealousy, envy, feeling inferior when you are with them.
I've also realised that making friends has been getting harder as I got older and these tips have come at such a convinient time in my life. Knowing what to look for exactly has actually boosted my confidence 🔥. Thank you❤️
@@prettyloubey8411 yes I'm ok with it be a I find peace n being alone...I don't trust ppl too much...I did have two others I was friendly with but mainly via phone they passed away...recently ..very young too...I just don't trust that most are authentic and sincere...I am but not many I've met
As someone who keeps to myself quite a bit, I totally get being fine on your own! While I'm not saying it's necessary to make a ton of friends, having a few gals you can trust, bounce ideas off of and share fun experiences with is a great addition to life. Also, in tough situations, whether it's the sickness/loss of a loved one, childbirth or other hectic times it is a blessing to have people who will say I've got you, I'll take care of this, what do you need, how can I help? Absolutely quality over quantity 💕
I had given up on letting anyone get close to me again. I’ve been destroyed by people i trusted in the friendship category…this video pop up. Maybe the universe is telling me something ❤
I want to take a break from friendships including relatives. I'm turning 20 in January and I'm completely drained both by family and friends, so much gaslighting and never getting the same energy I give. Constantly getting used and taken for granted. So I just want to use my 20s to find myself and heal for me that's going to be my way off leveling up.
This advice is certainly helpful. My husband vets people way better than I do and told me I have to stop calling everyone a “friend” based off surface level things. So the tip about taking your time and really getting to know someone is something I needed to hear. Fortunately for me I am at a point in my life where I don’t feel guilty for walking away from those who don’t mean me well, so I have no issues ending negative relationships.
As someone who moved to a new city and away from the closest friend I have, this was so needed. We still are very close, but I've been craving new people and connections. Thank you so much for this video!
As someone who has made many meaningful great friendships throughout 43 years, been a bridesmaid four times and Maid of honour two times, I would say it's important to set boundaries with every friend, some you can share your deepest secrets, some can't hold water but still a good friend. As grace is needed with every friendship, it's good to know your friends strengthens and weaknesses so you won't be disappointed. Also be open to make new friendships as not all of your friends will be able to evolve with you as you get older. It's also good to assess the progress of your friendships and see if there is still growth and respect and never be afraid to let go if you have to. The length of time you have known someone does not always equate to loyalty. As long as you make effort to be a good friend, you won't need to worry about regrets because you know you showed up well and gave your best; if you do have to let go of any friend, it was for your own health, well being and protection therefore stand firm in your decisions and don't be afraid to let go. The quality of your friendships is greater than the quantity and you will likely have a smaller close knit of friends as you get older
I'm that friend who loves to spoil my friends and get them just because gifts but I noticed I am the only one giving. And I just do not trust anyone its been many girls I just quit speaking to which may have been a surprised to them but if I notice some animosity or if our personalities don't match then i cut off all contacts. I wish i had a girl friend just like me who's giving and loyal. Maybe one day 🙃
Lol pick me pick me lol. I love having fun , i alwys attract introverts whove been through some shit. I know god was testing me but i had enough. The last good friendship was in highschool that was a long time ago. I need friendship i can grow and hv fun with not take life so seriously , who can go on adventures with , even just to the arcade to play a few childhood games. Im having fun alone though till i meet my babies. I ditch alot of women cus of thy self pity and cant keep a man attitude. Not everything is about men.
I'm really glad the content is useful for you, Samantha! I love the community we're building here. And I'm so happy to have you as part of the family. Cheers to growth! 🥂💕
I lost an 11 year friendship I believe over a guy. I can't even confirm. I just assumed because when I found out they were engaged (thru a 3rd party) the relationship had already started changing. I kept reaching out and got nothing in return so I just stopped trying. It felt like a breakup and I cried. It still hurts but now I have 1 true friend. Been friends over 20 years.
Every woman and girl should watch this. More high school, and middle school besties and friend groups would have stood the test of time if more people knew these things at a young age. But it's never too late to build meaningful friendships. Also, understanding that people should have different levels of friends is important.
I am sooooo happy now !!! that have REAL TRUE FRIENDS NOW WHO LOVE ME UNDERSTAND ME not JEALOUS INSECURE BACKSTABBING and known me for a longtime not low key nosey undermining I feel better now 😊
Number 2 has really been the key for me lately! I’ve been putting myself out there but it’s the quality that I’m looking for. As usual, thank you for these informative videos! They really making me feel seen
I have recently realized that for so very long I have been consistently in lopsided relationships. I have put so much effort, been so generous, dedicated so much of myself to friends who just did not put the same amount of effort in at all. And it's hurt me, over and over again. It's hard to know where to draw the line, I don't know how to attract people who work at relationships the way I do.
Be your own best friend first and treat yourself the way you want to be treated. Don't tolerate less than you deserve. You'll naturally start attracting givers like yourself when you maintain your vibration and don't settle. I had to learn this too. Good luck!
We love you plenty over here❤ thank you for another great guide, my favorite were the parts about giving grace and being in alignment. They can never be stressed enough imo! Some people are good but do not align with us in terms of shared values, interests or dealing with situations. And nobody's perfect, very often differences may arise but we have to be willing to forgive and ask for forgiveness when we ought to. Thanks for the reminder sis♥️😘
Watching this video and reading comments, never knew so many people had problems making friends. I always vet people who come into my life. Everyone reveals who they truly are, I just wait to see if it's something that's tolerable to me.
I agree, it can be really awkward! Especially if you're on the quiet side😭 That's why I think it's so much easier to go to some of the same places consistently, like, the gym/yoga/dance, local park, local restaurant where people are mostly regulars, or weekly/monthly hobby or volunteer groups. That way you can start off with just -hi -then: hey, how was your week? -then: what are you into? or what do you do when you're not here? It just tends to happen more easily over time where you can just talk a little more each week than a one-time meeting at a store or a concert.
OMGEEE I’m soooo happy your back. I’ve missed your videos so much. Thank you for this video because I’ve been having a hard time finding like-minded, leveled up friends ❤
i loose value on having friendships since i was betrayed by my best friend. I don't know if i made a choice of cutting her off completely. i feel like she's just gonna betry me again. there's also a lack of communication when that happen we never talk about it and she think i hate her and i also think she hate me. but deep inside i love her I'm just so hearthbroken by what she did to me. We never have a closure of it, we just never talked. Im so young back then and no one talks to me even my parents how to handle this kind of things. Lookinh back i wish we talked about it. But maybe im scared too. i just avoided it. Now im scared to form friendships again. i realize i tried to push people away to make relationship even stronger i just let it died, so i never have new close friends again. im scared of being close again and be betrayed. But now growing old thats a part of life that every people wilm hurt me. i know that fact that's why it hurts knowing, tried to avoid people but they do it to me so i never understand why.
When you said 'Be open' it was like you were talking to me and I do this thing where I try to get to know others but never really give any information on myself like some kind of safety net since they know nothing about me. And been kinda emotionally distant from people. But I love your work and I'm try to work on it❤️
Very informative video...I would like your opinion on being married and developing girlfriends. I've found that single ladies prefer not to hang because I'm married. I enjoy being with couples as well as singles. My good friend who encouraged me to marry, never came to visit afterwards. Just because your married shouldn't mean the end to those good girlfriend relationships.
Some married women don’t like to hang with single women. I love hanging with Married women because it im is my hood to get married. I think it’s finding people that you click with. It can be hard but it’s possible with some creativity. Wish you light and love
My best friend of 12 years passed away - and I have missed her. I have other friends but they have parents or elder siblings or husbands, etc., to take care of - so they don't have as much time - there's a lot going on in the world that few people are noticing. Thank you for continuing to upload videos for us.
I literally have no friends. My mom is my friend lol I’ve been married for 10 years and have three kids. Don’t get me wrong, im happy. But I want someone to get my nails done with someone once in a while. 😭
You sound just like me. I have absolutely no friends. I've been married 13 yrs with two kids. I'm happy with my family as well. My friend is my mom...wish I could just hang out with someone too. Lol
Wonderful video as always!! She gives such great advice I adore her.❤ but ladies I’m so surprised many of you would want to make girlfriends in this day and time. It’s a dangerous game having women as friends unfortunately. I’m done I keep to myself it’s very peaceful that way. I promise I’m not a bitter women. But having girlfriends 😢can be a huge disappointment be very very careful dolls. Some Women have horrible ways💜
I only have 3 childhood friends and 2 sisters and I think that’s a good enough girlfriend circle for me. I’ve tried before to make adult female friendships and I’ve always been betrayed and taken advantage of. I’m not interested at all in more friendships. Right now, any connection I make, is and will strictly be work related/professional networking.
This is some of the best, most thoughtful, and most practical insight into female friendships I think I have ever seen. Thank you for taking the time & care to put this together and share it. Let's all win this game of love and life, ladies.
I think every women should watch this video because I start with 100 with people I always smile and invite. But hunny I always get she’s to nice I laugh always . What does that mean seriously
I have my very best friend and despite geographical distance and not communicating for a months, she is the one human being, who comes in my mind first, as a matter of genuine friendship ❤
This is beautiful, and very much needed at this time, when I did a lil introspection, I came to conclusion, that was one of my biggest mistake at the University is not taking out time to make real friends, but have decided not too beat myself over this, and instead will try my possible best to make great friends at the next stage of my life.
This is very wise advice you have given here, particularly in regards to supporting a friend starting a business and not expecting freebies but pay up and support their business. Secondly, your comments regarding a willingness to accept behaviours in other cultures that may seem over the top or rude to what we are accustomed to. Excellent tips 😊
It’s hard to meet real people these days 😢 I’m honest loyal and friendly 90% most of the time . People are nasty and lie to much to make themselves look good! 😡
Great video as always! I've been going to the gym regularly and there's this girl that I see all the time. I think she's really cool, I like her vibe but I don't know how to approach her. I don't want her to think I'm weird. 🤣🤣🤣 I've learnt that setting ego aside is a must in friendships, many people these days can't do that. But honestly, you can't force relationships. If it happens, great, if not, oh well. That's where I'm at anyway. P.s. I love the way you pronounce available. "avelable" ❤️😁
I lost my only best friend who I’ve been friends with for almost 6 years about seven months ago. We were really good friends I loved her like a sister and so did she but I noticed in the last few months of our friendship she have been really shady and mean and she haven’t been treating me as good as she used to out of nowhere so I just stopped going out with her and since then I don’t really have any friends and I don’t even know how to meet new friends. I’m an introvert and I have social anxiety so it’s really a hard thing to do.
You can make friends right here on youtube!! 😊 Also I am really sorry to hear about your ex best friend. Actually I went through a situation similar to that a few years ago when I was in 5th grade and it tore me to pieces for a really long time. It gets easier I promise :( and I'm an introvert too so I can promise you that it really does get easier
Your channel is such a blessing 😍 Please keep on continuing your great work Could you make a video on having a positive mindset when things go wrong It would be great to hear from you on that topic
Socially awkward woman here! I am great at meeting new people but when I am one on one or supposed to be small talking I absolutely tank! What are some good subjects to talk about with someone who is my acquaintance but we could be friends if I could figure out how to go deeper. Thanks for all of your help!
Since working on myself, I’ve gotten a lot of hate my old peers feel intimidated by my improvements. Women try to associate with me to get men; it’s disgusting I feel used by women! And I don’t let them so they stopped wanting to get together because I go to places where there aren’t many (if any men) lol I do NOT club! So not many old friends for me. But I have noticed that even beautiful married women get intimidated and try to avoid me but later want my social media and phone number?!? I’m so over these superficial connections with women. We talk enough about men and those issues but not enough about the things you have to endure with peers as well. I’m in a space where ladies are interested in connecting for the wrong reasons. No, I don’t know your man lol go away from me 😅 No I will not help you pull men 😅
Also be confident in yourself before you start looking for friends and be friends with women confident in themselves. If you’re jealous of women that are slimmer than you, have bigger boobs, or you think are prettier fix those insecurities first. Don’t become Yolanda and protect yourself from women like that because she comes in different forms.
@@silverplug she was a famous Mexican American singer. She was the Beyoncé of that culture and the manifestor of Hispanic women singing in English. She walked so JLo could run. JLo played her in her (Selena’s) biopic.
Can you talk about how to handle it if many people are interested in friendship? Sometimes a lot of people wants to have your number and it can be little difficult to say no in a friendly way and to dont hurt people. Thanks for your advice! 🥰
The thing is... I genuinely feel that I have been most of what the tips are offering. But I have been on the receiving end on being ghosted so many times and it's like... there's no explanation when I ask the questions. And all of these weird excuses from them. I don't want to feel like I'm gaslighting myself so I don't know if it's just my time to be a loner? I actually really want to understand. And for the really odd ones that will disappear and to return back as if nothing happen, how do I then respond to that?
What cultures show it is normal to be excited & cut each other off in conversation?? I have always thought this to be VERY RUDE by not permitting the person talking to finish their thought!
For me, changing my lifestyle and changing/upgrading my friends, this video comes right on time. Does someone know what movie is at 10:23 or who is this beautiful girl? My daughter loves her hair ❤
