Awesome video Raif! Love it. This is a big discussion in my women’s group. I’m sharing this video with them. It’s interesting that this topic can get fiery even between those within the poz community. I’m for poz people having this option without criminalization. Personally, I know I would disclose, but I do think in the age of U=U people should have this choice, especially (as you pointed out), it could be unsafe for them to disclose depending on many factors.
Thanks Jennifer! It's absolutely something that needs to be discussed more...and it requires a shift from seeing people living with HIV as a physical threat to people who are just as deserving of privacy and freedom of choice to disclose personal info.
Aww, thank you for the pin! I shared it in my group, I think it's such an important topic of discussion. As you said, we are no threat and I truly believe it's up to the individual who is undetectable to make that choice. I never thought I'd see a day where smoking indoors would be illegal and pot would be legal, but now, that's the norm. I hope I see the day where the decision to keep your status private is as accepted as keeping your religion, political views or income private. It's just no one's business unless they want to make it someone's business.
I wish more people were as open minded and compassionate as you. Transmission is impossible from someone who is undetectable. Yet hundreds of thousands just died the past year from another virus due to people not wanting to wear masks, wanting to get vaccinated or who hooked up with asymptomatic people during the pandemic. When looking at HIV in light of something much deadlier like Covid, it just shows how irrational the attacks are on undetectable people with HIV and how misplaced the fears are. The double standard has been enraging during the pandemic.
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I would want to know if someone I was going to sleep with had the virus undetectable or not, I should still have the opportunity to make an informed decision.
How bout informing yourself that Covid is more dangerous than HIV, especially if a poz person is undetectable. 20x more people died in the US this past year from Covid than HIV in the US. Did you hook up at all the past two years? More people died from hooking up with asymptomatic people with Covid than from hooking up with undetectable people who didn't have Covid during this pandemic. That's a simple effing fact. By not acting like it's the 90's anymore with HIV, you can then both make an informed decision and also make it easier for people to disclose their status with less stigma. To be even more informed, you can prioritize another virus that is more contagious and which is killing more people right now. What a bunch of hypocrites.
@@Jeremy-wp4yh Covid is pretty incurable if you die from it like the 600,000 Americans who just did. 30x more people than who died from HIV that same year in the US. Hypocrite.
@@rypoelk997 there is no argument here. Your partner has the right to know you have an Incurable std. That has nothing to do with covid. Idk what you're trying to say.
@@Jeremy-wp4yh You're right it isn't an STD. But it was incurable for 600,000 Americans. Maybe if Covid was transmitted primarily sexually it would have gotten the panic and seriousness it deserved, rather than the misplaced fear directed at undetectable/untransmittable people with HIV who have killed 0 people. Let's look at the numbers for both viruses. Let's bring it into this conversation.
Did you hook up with anyone the past two years during the pandemic? If you want to make it easier for people to disclose something that is 100% untransmittable if treated (an efficacy rate higher than any covid vaccine), then how bout not acting like it's the 90's anymore with HIV and look at a more contagious virus that is killing more people. 600,000 in the US dead from Covid, that's 20-30x more than the number of people who died from HIV this past year in the US. Maybe if Covid was primarily transmitted through sex, it would've gotten the panic and seriousness it deserved. Hypocrites.
Undetectable is not necessarily a permanent status. You can experience viral rebound and become infectious again. This can occur for a few different reasons and it can happen even if you never stop taking the medication. So even though the treatment available today is incredible, it’s not as if it is a cure. Please disclose your status. Also important to note that there is a small percentage of people who can not achieve undetectable status because of the type of strain they carry or other factors.
I should have the ability to decide whether or not I want to have sex with someone who is HIV. Undetectable or not, the HIV+ person shouldn’t get to decide for me. What if the person forgets to take their medication, becomes detectable, and has sex within that timeframe? Yes, this may be unlikely and the stars would have to align, but it’s possible. I could then be at risk of receiving the virus when I wouldn’t have been in that position had I known prior to the sexual encounter. If disclosure is not a big deal, then no one should be ashamed to share it. I don’t mean any disrespect by my opinion, but I don’t think it’s fair for someone to withhold this information for a potential sexual partner.
I have a severe illness that doesn’t let me have any immunity and I think it HAS to be disclosed. Specially that I could get anything any time. I have severe empathy to HIV+ people but I still stand for disclosure.
HIV+ people with an undetectable virus level simply cannot transmit the disease, no matter the immune system level of the other sexual partner! It's probably safer to have sex with a HIV+ person on meds who is constantly being monitorized by medical care than having sex with anyone who has not been tested for more than 4-6 months. So do not worry :* And condom should always be a must anyway
Ariela 아리엘라 Is it literally impossible to transmit to anyone 100%? Plus, doesn’t the feelings of the person not disclosed TO matter? Shouldn’t it be my choice to engage in sexual relations with someone that is HIV+ regardless of transmission chance? What if someone didn’t take their medication? What if someone who said they cannot transmit ACTUALLY transmits? Should the person who did not disclose and unintentionally spread the virus be completely liable? HIV can be passed down to children. Unless HIV is 100% untransmittable, it is imperative to disclose. If someone gave me HIV, I would definitely want to sue them for not only the added lifetime health costs as well as the added struggles of trying to find a long time partner and even have children as someone with HIV. I’d be mad and depressed as fuck. WE MUST DISCLOSE.
I haven't watched the video for his pov yet, but I don't think a person should LEGALLY have to disclose, though I do think there is a MORAL OBLIGATION to do so when their sexual partner specifically asks for std status (lying about it is NEVER okay). I personally ask partners to get an std panel and get one myself because my sexual health is very important to me. Everyone makes their own risk profile and if that's part of yours, you really need to have those conversations with your partners.
@@chrisbessey358 thank you!!! That’s what I said not all hiv positive ppl are responsible he’ll the average person with any Heath condition doesn’t always take their medication or forgets something. We cannot expect every hiv positive person to be considered responsible what if a person is in fact undetectable then forgets to take their medicine then their viral load increases. How can we be sure an individual is always undetectable??? I believe it reduces the chance significantly but anything can change undetectable doesn’t mean hiv negative. Plus not every hiv positive person is undetectable. I always ask ppl before I sleep with them about their std tests and results so if someone lies I’d be pissed.
Who wants to bet those complaining hooked up with asymptomatic people during the Covid pandemic which killed 20x more people than HIV in the US this past year? How bout you worry about not spreading that virus rather than scrutinizing a positive person who is undetectable/100% untransmittable? If you want to make it easier for people to disclose something that is 100% untransmittable if treated, then how bout not acting like it's the 90's anymore with HIV and look at a more contagious virus that is killing more people. What a bunch of antiscience hypocrisy. Maybe if Covid was primarily transmitted through sex, it would've gotten the panic and seriousness it deserved.
I’m negative but agree. The amount of people who have unprotected sex with strangers who’ve never been tested, really puts the argument into perspective and shows double standards because someone aware of their status / undetectable is safer than those who are unknown status.
So after we're dating for a while and we have had intimate moments just for you to tell me you're positive, you'd expect people to be like "sure, no problem" you're deranged. What if I'm looking for a partner who wants children? If you have it, you must disclose, else you're being untruthful and that's disgusting.
@@jasongreen3905 a woman can have children safely now and many due even if they have tested HIV positive. There is information on the internet about it.
im positive. of course I trust the science of U=U. but I don't always trust people. you are also left to believe that someone is continuing their suppression therapy. can you really? I will still disclose no matter how uncomfortable it makes me feel. it's the right thing to do. I mean it's because someone didn't disclose is why many of us have it.
I think this was said as best as it could be Raif! Overall, I would want to know.. But that goes both ways in my opinion as far as starting that discussions. While it's great to be open and talking to people about your own status, there's also a tactful way to just ask. It's scary, but nowadays, if you're mature enough to be sexually active - you should be able to have a discussion about this before the relationship becomes intimate. It doesn't have to a buzzkill or ruin "the mood". It's just a part of sexual health. Best wishes Raif, see you soon!
Yea i hear you. A lot should be said about TRUSTING the person that you're confiding in too. I'm hearing a lot of people share stories of telling someone and them using that information maliciously to hurt them after the fact.
Hello it only needs to be disclosed if you Aren't UNDETECTABLE! It's too much of a mindfuck! For both people! Call me what you will. I'm a piece of shit! And a damn good one at rhat!. I'm not giving someone else grounds to shit on me and betray me. That happened enough BEFORE I GOT HIV. BECAUSE WOMEN LET THEIR FRIENDS DO THEIR THINKING FOR THEM WHEN IT COMES TO MEN. IF A WOMAN HAS A BACKBONE THAT'S DIFFERENT
@@michaelvance1118 @Michael Vance so in order to get your nut, you'll put others at risk? You're actually disgusting. Not because off the possible illness you may have. But the way you go about it is absolutely shameful. So you put your own feelings over people lives/ health? I'm ashamed to be of the same species as you.
Don't shut down the openly poz person or look at them in disgust if you're going to Raves and/or sex parties and hooking up with 25 humans all night unprotected. We all know that those conversations aren't brought up in those environments. BE RESPONSIBLE & TAKE OWNERSHIP OF YOUR OWN ACTIONS FOLKS ! IT TAKES 2 ! Thanks again for posting this Raif 🤗🏳️🌈
You're welcome! I hope it spurs some good conversation at the very least...whether we can all agree on all the nuances or not it's important to talk about
I'm sorry Raif be on this one I can not agree with you. Yes, I'm educated on HIV and stuff however Transparency and Accountability is a part of someone's life when dealing with HIV whether the person is Undetectable or Not. Please understand that I empathize a lot with people who have HIV/AIDS and yes I understand U=U however, not everyone is honest so like you said you have to take responsibility for yourself but not only that you also have to take responsibility for someone else's actions or inactions. As hard as it is (no pun intended) Transparency, Accountability, Education and Courage must be the cornerstones of the movement. The ball must not be dropped at ANY point.
I agree, those are the ideals. But i also acknowledge the individual realities that people face where the best course of action is not so black and white
If we want to make it easier for people to disclose then let's start with doing something about a public that acts like nothing has changed with HIV since the 90's, and as they ignore a deadlier virus pandemic like Covid which just killed 600,000 people this past year.
@@rypoelk997 covid aside, it has a 99% recovery rate. You don't have it for the rest of your life. Please don't compare an Incurable std that you can pass on to your unborn children too.
One's responsibility for disclosure is determined by the level of risk. If someone is Undetectable, there is no risk and therefore no moral or ethical obligation to disclose. When people require disclosure or 'transparency' even when there is no risk, they are placing an unfair and unnecessary burden of stigmatisation on people who are zero risk. Look, you are not automatically entitled to other people's irrelevant and very personal medical information if you are not in danger. Yes, this is a change in thinking. No, it won't happen overnight. But it will, and it must happen in order to bring disclosure in line with real ethics. It isn't ethical to expect someone who is not a danger to pretend they are a danger when they are not, just because you are ignorant or frightened of science. It is wrong to compel disclosure, then turn around and stigmatise that person when you don't like their answer based on your own ignorance. What people call 'informed consent' is not informed at all when it's based on fear, ignorance, and stigma. It is wrong to compel people who are not a risk to open themselves up to this kind of ignorance, stigmatization when we know, science knows, the medical community knows, everybody knows that the risk of sex with an Undetectable person is zero. Now that we know this, let's put it into practice and live it. And incidentally, if someone is this frightened of hiv, they need to assume responsibility for their own health, stop pointing paranoid fingers at the Undetectable, and GET ON PREP immediately. Why are these people always expecting everyone else to protect them?! THAT is unethical AND irresponsible.
So long as your status remains HIV+ you should disclose. It does not matter if you are u=u. This is about consent. You have no right to withhold information that could potentially make someone uncomfortable or upset - esp if that information would change their decision to engage in sexual contact. The status of u=u is work - it must be consistent and missing just a few doses can change that. You are not tested frequently enough (weekly) and human error is inevitable so to consider withholding your status is downright irresponsible. We discussed this briefly in the comments of that video and the logic just doesn't hold water. False equivalencies (eczema?) or the assumption that it would make you undesirable are NOT reasons to withhold your status from someone.
Did you hear what I said in the video in its totality? And regarding adherence, there are studies done with thousands of couples (positive and negative partner) and thousands of sexual acts over the course of years. Presumably, doses were missed, blips happened, and they were not tested on a weekly basis. YET, 0 transmission...that's the data.
@@RaifDerrazi I did. And that's wonderful! But to normalize withholding status because of u=u is just irresponsible. Should more people be educated on u=u, absolutely. Should withholding information be normal? NO.
celifacejones I think it should be normal for u=u to have the option to disclose or not. It’s already been proven that you can’t transmit HIV, and therefore there are no risk. It’s just one step closer to reducing the stigma. Also when someone over reacts after a disclosure, it sometimes causes the person with u=u to suffer from depression, anxiety and other personality disorder.
@@RaifDerrazi Did I say it should be criminalized? You mention it yourself - two different conversations: moral and legal. I want everyone to be so well informed that it eliminates any stigma, any negative feelings, confusion, apprehension, etc from the situation. And we can't do that if people are withholding their status instead of educating people.
Despite treated HIV not an being a threat of transmission, I believe that status disclosure should be a part of every sexual encounter...that puts the pressure on the other person of how well they are educated on the subject. HIV status has never been an issue for me because, being 64 and having come out at the height of the crisis, this is something we all had to be aware of. If it kills the sexual buzz, so be it...there are others who will be educated, be comfortable, and not care and still be willing to have sex with you. Trust your partner with your reality and then it is up to them to react in an intelligent, reasoned manner...or not. At my age, to expect that men near my age are all going to be negative is not based in reality, especially in south Fla. I always appreciate the honesty and find it sexy.
It’s funny all you people say morally you are supposed to disclose. Science states that if you are undetectable you are untransmittable. People saying disclosure is the best option have absolutely no idea what we on the other side go through when we tell one person....and they tell absolutely everyone they know even when sex isn’t the subject of their conversation. People saying you have to disclose are the ones that are negative. Just wait if you find out your positive and think differently. You will never know until you are on the other side.
Friday gone which was the 4th of september, i got my blood results back. The Doctor said my blood results came back excellent. I'm now undetectable, with a CD4 count above 1,000. I was so happy friday gone. U=U😁
So when it comes to a person being undetectable is that permanent even if the person stops taking meds for a bit like miss a few days or weeks or is unable of getting their medication for a bit? I mean me personally I always ask to see a fresh test results before having sex even with a condom because herpes can be transmitted even with a condom so at that point I’d be mad at the person for lying to me because I specifically asked. I love this conversation though!!
If someone is undetectable missing a few doses here and there will happen I’m sure but there is no concern because the HIV will take a while to reactivate. With that being said, it is not recommended to stop your medication due to developing resistance to the drugs you are on if you continue to miss doses. That’s why the drug is taken once a day so that there is always medication in the body to keep the virus dormant. Continue your medication treatment as prescribed by your doctor which should be once a day. You won’t get HIV if someone is undetectable and misses their medication one or two times before continuing them
It’s about doing the right thing. Who starts any sort of a friendship or more off the kickoff with not being honest and forward? There is no judgement. I am on prep and neg- but I have the right to have the truth. I understand your stance and story, it is very, very hard to catch the virus - even if your partner is poz and not aware. You are loved and supported. Keep doing your thing. #onelove
I understand what ur saying but not everyone is anticipating a friendship to start...it might be a one-off....in a small town...where one ill-intentioned person can take that private medical information and spread it as gossip, doing irreparable harm. Over a virus that was no longer transmittable in said person.
I don't think a person should have to be prepared to discuss their entire sexual history with any/all sexual encounters. It's nobody's business if it doesn't physically effect them
How can we including myself who are HIV negative address these topics in a sensitive way? I personally believe in condoms and blood testing for all my potential partners.
All disclosures (negative, on PreP, UD) are only one’s word and current understanding of one’s status. We’re all taking each other’s word for it. So, if you’re going to demand disclosure for UD, demand disclosure for all. What’s next? Lab work exchanges at the door?
I never demanded disclosure for UD, not sure where you inferred that from. in fact, I don’t demand disclosure from anyone. What I DO insist on is accountability for one’s own sexual health as foundational
I met a guy and we are attracted to each other. He told me that before we go any further that he has been undetectable for 20yrs. I appreciated him telling me. I would have safe sex with him and told him so. But then, I always do. But, if this becomes a relationship, I would still continue to use safe sex and go on prep.
Yes, but the differences you gave consent because he allowed you to. What if he didn’t tell you and just did it anyway? Then you found out later. And what if you then found out that he was also lying?
I agree with you 100% Ralph . If you are undetectable , you poss no threat on someone else health. What we all need to do as people is educate our self more and get regular STI check ups .
Hello Rafi. It is true life with diabetes is much more difficult then HIV from a medical standpoint. I have been living with type 1 diabetes for most of my life, and managing my condition is a 24/7 commitment. Since I have been taking prep I realized it is quite similar to living with HIV. One pill a day...routine bloodwork etc. I suppose the biggest difference between taking prep and being hiv positive is that you can choose to come off at anytime. I do have one question though. I understand that undetectable means untransmittable (U=U). However I heard that while on treatment for HIV an individual can become resistant to the medication resulting in their viral load to raise. If this is the case could the person potentially infect people? I would like to point out that I am not stating that as a fact more I am asking for verification. I myself try to be as well informed as possible, as I also agree that each person is responsible for their own sexual health. I would love to hear back from you to ensure that I have accurate information.
like yes people should protect themselves and want to know and ask but non hiv girls get offended if you ask if they have it. by asking you could ruin your chances. and the law says if you give someone hiv without them knowing you had it in a sexual situation then you are in fact guilty of attempted murder at least in canada. this alone should prove that the onus is on the infected to disclose (then again i guess if you have the hiv you are more of a flinging swinger than a committed person)
not only that but if you fail to disclose. even if you managed not to infect your partner. if it turns serious later you will eventually have to disclose it later and this could lead to some overly intense fighting and name calling. not to mention the death of a relationship that only just started and might possibly be the one you're looking for
here in the South if you’re undetectable it’s best to keep that you’re HIV positive to yourself. The stigma is so high and the backlash you can & probably will receive from it is not worth it.
That's horrible. And I'm sorry there are places in the world that are like that, but don't you think that fighting stigma through education and awareness is far more important than withholding information from people and potential partners?
That's really, really sad and upsetting. And it just shows how if we tolerance and acceptance can beget honesty when we create an environment where people feel safe enough to be themselves. It's akin to people being 'in the closet' about being gay...a lot of people will lie and keep it a secret if they know that stigma/backlash will hurt their livelihood.
celifacejones I fight stigma through education and awareness but I also advocate for the safety of my community through that same education and awareness.
Undetectable is not negative. Always disclose. Don't put your own ego/ need for a nut over the health and safety of your sexual partners. Not so losing is just kinda selfish and shameful.
I have a question I saw your symptoms of hiv video. I only have one swollen lymph node on the left side of my neck that’s been there for a year now I didn’t have any other symptoms tho should I be worried?
When dealing with hiv swollen lymph nodes it is referred to as generalized lymphadenopathy, you are referring to localized lymphadenopathy which means it is localized to 1 area. Generalized would mean all the lymph nodes in your body are swollen in different areas neck armpit groin etc etc. With that being said you should not diagnose yourself with symptoms. That will drive you crazy. Depending on how long its been since the last potential exposure is when you can get a conclusive result. Unfortunately the shortest time period between a good result is 28 days with a 4th generation test. If it has been that long you should get that test paired with an hiv 1 rna test. The reason i suggest the rna test is because in EXTREMELY EXTREMELY rare individuals a second window period has been picked up and they did not seroconvert (become positive) until a few days later day 34 to be exact. There have been no known cases where someone was in the second window period and had a negative RNA test. After these results after 4 weeks you ALMOST certainly have not been infected and that proves those current symptoms have not been caused by hiv. However,The Cdc recommends follow up testing to be done after 45 days have past with a single 4th generation p24 antibody test (through the lab not rapid alere determine) as i mentioned earlier to ensure the results were not a false negative and 90 days for all antibody only or rapid point of care tests. I hope this helped you and I will pray tonight for you that your test results are negative. God bless you!!!!! ❤️❤️
Totally agree with what you said at the end. An HIV undetectable person is def not a health threat, whereas anyone else not on prep can be assumed to be a potential threat
Thanks Raif...just wanted to stop by and wish you a nice Thanksgiving season. I remember you talking about a gratitude journal...I truly trust you have a good day, whatever you do.
I think disclosure is important, however, I don't necessarily think that those that are "negative" should be taken at their word. Condoms are incredibly important and you're playing with fire if you don't us them. That is actually how I became infected...because I trusted someone that claimed to be negative and this person had no idea that they were/were probably recently infected, and did not did not show any symptoms or feel physical symptoms. I knew I was negative because I had been recently tested and had not sex since my HIV exam. Ultimately, my fault for not using condoms. My point is...it's almost safer to have sex with an undetectable person than someone who simply claims to be negative (that is unless you're completely aware of their sexual history). PrEp is also a great option for those that really want to remain safe. :)
My ex didn’t disclose me his status.He got me on bc snd went raw on me.I found out through a 3rd party his status.I even asked him before and said he didn’t have anything.You should always tell your sexual partner.
Isn't the undetectable status changeable , a person could have been undetectable the last time they checked but over time due poor adherence and whatever else go back to being infectious and not be aware
Hello Raif, i think you are a kind person. But i still disagree. Recently i had intercourse with someone who claimed to be Hiv neg and on prep. I asked him multiple times. I myself is on prep.The next day, his ex told me that both of them are actually hiv+. The person who did this to me is named Henry Nickel, who is a candidate for mayor of San Bernardino. Disgusting man. In california, hiv+ can now get away with it legally which is scary.
I totally agree with you tho and support. If they are not being affected whatsoever, you don't have to disclose. How many people, for example, are married and cheating, which affects the potential partner way more. The only thing: if one is planning a long-term relationship, there might be a reaction from them if you plan to open up later on. I'm negative and would obviously prefer someone who's untransmittable to someone, for example, with chlamydia. What you do need to make sure of though if that you're really U=U. Also, there are so many diseases that are way worse than HIV with current treatment but people still monsterize it.
THIS vlog is the very reason why everyone needs to go get an HIV Antibody (not a regular test, but an Antibody one) test *WITH* a new partner. Make absolutely sure you are both present at the testing, as well to pick up the results. And get tested every 6 months, while using condoms consistently during that time. I believe some HIV+ will hide their status, out of shame, and no reveal it. We have a right to protect our health and full transparency of the health status of any potential partner. Full Disclosure only or it should be a hard No.
I don't agree with you. Undetectable doesn't mean 0% chance of transmission. The virus is still present in different bodily fluids and if someone has open wounds or infections in his mouth for example. He still can get infected from the other person. Undetectable means the viral load is really low but it's still there. And the repercussions being really dramatic. Taking the risk of being exposed is just stupid. Undetectable or not. Disclosing is important for any kind of STD.
The fear expressed here is understandable, but it is based on outdated information that has been proven to be false. A friendly but firm correction is in order here. Multiple studies have confirmed that the risk of transmission through sex is zero when someone is Undetectable. There is no longer a debate on this issue. The World Health Organization, the US Center for Disease Control, the NHS in the UK, and the medical establishment as a whole all endorse the science showing this. If you're curious about the studies, Google the 'Partner' study. That's a good place to start. It is understandable that there is resistance to the idea that someone living with hiv is not a danger. We have just spent the past 40 years thinking of people living with hiv as exactly that, whether we realized it or not. And then treatment got really, really good. And this miraculous game changer means people living with hiv who are undetectable can now a) have a normal lifespan, and b) have sex with their partner confident in the knowledge that the risk of transmitting hiv is zero. So, this incredibly good news is something to celebrate and share widely. It means less stigmatization and fear. It means better sex lives. It means couples can conceive children the natural way.
I had a protected 2 Condom viginal sex for 40 seconds with sex worker after that i did this tests Day 27 agab test kit based negative Day 31 agab duo p24-negative Day 62 RNA PCR - negative Day 115 agab duo p24 - negative Still i have hiv symptoms like lymphnodes in groin and back side of ear, digestion problem and back pain What can i do plz tell me i have done all STI/STD tests.
There is still so much shame around disclosing one's status. For one, the question of how you think you became infected if you are gay, it's possible you may not want others to know. Education is still needed. I think laws need to be changed at the same time it does help to inform your partner ahead of time. I'm just saying it can be very difficult.if you are a woman, many straight men know little about it still and don't want anything to do with you. Yet another person now knows your personal health information. It's difficult.
This vid is what I was looking for. I got my diagnostic last set and I started treatment on Feb. Not I'm undetectable. And same time I was starting a new relationship. I came out and he has been supporting me sense that time. So, now I'm more engaged with health and education and reality interesting into get better shape as well... now your my best friend dude... be responsible to the info you will spread here... I'll be paying attention... hardly. Love
I was with you until you said " you will not pass it " that is a blatant lie or you are simply mistaken . There is always a chance you can spread it even when undetectable..rare but possible none the less. Yeah if you're not sleeping with or dating them you don't have to say anything because then and only then is it irrelevant. However if you are trying to date them or sleep with them they have a right to know and should know .
Question: Everything I’ve researched says that when HIV is undetectable that means that is not SEXUALLY transmitted. But the virus is still present in the bloodstream right? So what if the skin breaks during rough sex? Or what if there is a blood transfer of ANY kind...isn’t that STILL a risk? It’s not just a morality thing...Disclosure SHOULD be the law...period. Un=un is not 100% with ALL bodily fluids. Women have sex on their periods too. Disclosure is needed so that there’s no grey area.
A person can bring up many theoretical situations and assume that this situation invalidates U=U but i just have to keep going back to the date from thousands of positive/negative couples having unprotected sex hundreds of thousands of times over almost a decade with 0 transmissions. The data, science and research shows there is 0 risk.
Raif, you are truly a hope and inspiration to any person battling this terrible disease and are living proof that with proper management, it is possible to live a normal and healthy life. It is no different than any other illness that exists that is managed with medication/treatment and therefore proves that it is only a stigma created by uneducated people. I also was not aware that women could get HIV so that was something new I learned. Also, can we just talk about how incredibly handsome you were? :) Jeez!! I was also POed because at 7:11 you folded your arms (I loved that grey T-shirt to!) and then they just had to move the camera. Oh well, maybe in a future video... :)
I hear so many intelligent words coming out of your mouth but no song. I still see an empty room begging for a piano. I do wish you would re-evaluate your priorities.
@@RaifDerrazi Did you know that James Lapine and Stephen Sondheim once considered turning "Muscle: Confessions of an Unlikely Bodybuilder" by Samuel Wilson Fussell into a musical? I'm not kidding.
well said. makes a lot of sense. what is more important is to correct the way people think especially our brothers and sisters within the LGBTQ community.
@@michaelvance1118 I believe that this should apply to all, whether you are gay or straight. however the social issues surrounding HIV mostly impacts the LGBTQ community and in my own opinion, it's a lot more sensitive and difficult to face. But it doesn't mean that our fellow heterosexual brothers and sisters have less issues. I really wouldn't know because I am not straight. HIV affects everyone, regardless of your gender, sexual orientation, politics, religion etc..
you could be undetectable one day, and the next day, detectable. you have no right to put a person at risk, even if it's a TINY risk. It's still a risk and it's THEIR right to decide if they want to take that risk or not. People who don't know they have HIV can't tell someone they have it but they can share that they aren't aware; whatever info you have about your risk should be shared so people can calculate and decide what risk they consent to, and you are so wrong claiming that a person has mental illness, or what kind of car they drive, or whatever whatever and being dishonest is taking their consent aware. You have a sexually transmitted disease and this is a sexual behavior. Do you check your transmissibility EVERY day, including the hour right before you hook up? Then you don't know your exact levels that day. Hence: you need to let them know that the act they are engaging in has that element to it!
That's not how it works. If someone is undetectable and has been undetectable for several years they would have to stop taking their medication for an extended period of several days and weeks for the virus to reactivate. Missing a dose a day here and there will not immediately make them infectious. You're taking a bigger risk with Covid hooking up in a pandemic which just killed 600,000 people btw. Maybe if that virus was primarily transmitted through sex, it would have gotten the panic and seriousness it deserved instead of undetectable people with HIV.
@@rypoelk997 undetectable DOESNT mean untransmittable. it's still possible to transmit and the person going under the risk deserves to know someone they are having sex with knows they have a deadly disease that spreads through sex but isn't telling them
@@rinan4058 Completely wrong. Undetectable=untransmittable according to every respectable medical institution. Studies involving thousands of couples have confirmed this. The CDC, WHO, everyone has confirmed this, Fauci even authored a report titled "Undetectable=untransmittable". Get your facts straight before you tell anyone what they ought to do.
@@rinan4058 According to multiple studies, involving thousands of couples, over numbers of years, the rate of infection was 0. Undetectable=untransmittable according to the CDC, NIH, WTO. The meds are 100% effective. Not 99.9999, 100. You just don't like the facts because it doesn't suit your ill informed prejiduces and fear narratives. You want to demonize people and propagate misinformation. How sad and pathetic.
ryan black thats b.s its not on the person to ask. it is assumed that people with hiv would have respect enough for human dignity and not want to infect their partner and to make sure safe sex is practiced. this should not even come up as a question. if you have hiv then disclose it. and as for UU if aids is cured 100% then people should not have to disclose. but if there is even a small chance that UU can turn into full blown hiv again then they should have to disclose... like yes people should protect themselves and want to know and ask but non hiv girls get offended if you ask if they have it. by asking you could ruin your chances. and the law says if you give someone hiv without them knowing you had it in a sexual situation then you are in fact guilty of attempted murder at least in canada. this alone should prove that the onus is on the infected to disclose
That's a messed up way to think. Everyone should be able to choose if they are comfortable with being with someone with hiv its their body. I hope everyone chooses to disclose because Id think you'd want someone to do the same with any type of virus, stigma or not.
Sum up, What i get from video is if you ar undetecable , decide yourself about disclosure depend on many situations😀 you are awesome brother a heart ❤ from india. I want to know more about hiv and muscle gain. Please .
As you can see the video is still up. the video does not violate any laws as you have incorrectly claimed. maybe it's time to re-assess your viewpoints on the issue and take a look at the data/science/research and what that means for our future discussions around this topic
@@RaifDerrazi its definitely illegal to not disclose you have HIV to people. maybe this video itself doesn't violate laws but you are admitting to violating laws and potentially passing on your disease without caring about the other person
Yes it does have to deal with the other person……. Like wtf? Anything can happen and if somehow you missed your medication for a while or forgot prep then you will 0 idea if you’re still undetectable…..
So if you’re concerned you could ASK right? And if you still think the person is lying you could take PEP after, right? And if you’d rather not take a last-minute measure you could get on PrEP right? Or use a condom, right? People act like they’re defenseless against big bad people with HIV, on meds and undetectable. Educate yourself. Take responsibility for your own health. Meanwhile, the vast majority of us are healthy and can NOT transmit, thank you for listening to my TED talk
@@RaifDerrazi did you miss the part where I said “if you forget you meds or your PREP…..” Maybe just don’t be self-centered, and like well they didn’t ask so…. Like if I carry a gun or something into a bank or government building I still get in trouble even if it’s not loaded on safety…….
@vansiclen-lw1iy of course I would never blame or belittle someone living with the disease even back in the day. Some just wanted to be free and have fun in the very small spaces they could be themselves, and others had no say in the matter of getting infected. All I’m saying is just have a little respect and let anyone you plan to sleep with know because anything and everything can happen. If they blow up and are a dickwad because you are living with it, why would you want to be with them anyway
@vansiclen-lw1iy I would like to think it is slowly, but you shouldn’t gloss over things of this nature just because other people might react badly! Not changing because other people aren’t changing is childish
I think it should be called not contagious.. it makes it clear so we don’t freak out when we hear infected …. It’s basically like tb you always have the antibodies but you’re not contagious…
…..you gotta be shittin me…. 1. Talking about the not telling of a job/and the like Just because others do it doesn’t mean you should that’s child logic 2. If I have the flu, even though I’ll live and others most likely will too I’m not going to go show up to a date or nursing home and be like it’s cool I don’t have flu symptoms atm so I can hug em kiss blah blah…
1) its a loose analogy and has nothing to do with the actual points I made, nor does it imply that in all cases if someone else does something you should do 2) the flu is contagious and highly transmissible. HIV while undetectable is not. In this analogy, if I had the flu and was also given a medicine that stopped flu transmission from me to anyone else, I wouldn’t care to tell anyone about it unless I personally wanted to. Period
@@RaifDerrazi not really a loose analogy Unloaded gun/undetectable HIV, government building/someone else’s body was better one I made on a comment. You literally said yourself in one line “it’s technically not consent in the same form as job car house so why tell them about HIV??” That’s your loose analogy 🤷🏻
@@RaifDerrazi I don’t think people should have as harsh of a reaction to someone telling them, but I also don’t think starting off with a lie or using your excuses to not tell them is any better
@@TySwaim an unloaded gun, is literally functionless. I mean you can pistol-whip someone in the same way that I being undetectable could also hit someone. Losing the forest for the trees here. Self-empowerment, guarding your OWN health, take responsibility for you, not criminalizing others because of out-dated science and stigma. All of that is true and your argument is weak, and based on fear and ‘what if’s’. Mine is based on data and science.
@@RaifDerrazi …. That’s my analogy it’s literally functionless like undetectable HIV but you still shouldn’t take it into a government building….. I’m not dancing around anything. Yes people should always protect themselves and be cautious, but doesn’t mean anyone else should be the kindof shitty person that’s says well they didn’t ask blah blah blah……..
Hello derrazi .. I want a favor from you .. Please we want a special vid ..talkin about those in Gulf ..Arabic countries such as Saudia Arabia ppl there find many difficulities to be married bcuz of unawareness of HIV disease from the society ... Please talk about it and help thousands of pple living there around haters , we want you to specialize a video about Arabic societies Such as Saudia Arabia . Thanks & regards ♥️♥️♥️🙏
I dont care if they are undetectable or not i should have the right to know the status of someone im sleeping with. But unfortunately my boyfriend didnt disclose and i now have it. And im angry. And detectable or undetectable u need to fucking disclose your status because we have a right to know and make our own decision about the situation.
Ehh, I'm sorry but I have to disagree with this one, if you were talking about not disclosing to your partner. It would also be great if people also can be honest with their flings/hook-up before doing a sexual encounter (even though you are undetectable). I do know about the whole U=U thing so it's not about getting infected. It's more about trust. Imagine if you dating a person and in the relationship you already hiding things from them. Why tho? If it wouldn't cause any harm, why would you still be guilty for your disease? You can educate your partner about it and if they really are ignorant then I guess better to leave them. You wouldn't want to date an ignorant people anyway. By the way, I'm pretty sure that they would find out eventually, it's really hard to hide your medicine and you taking your medicine. Rather than them caught you lying, it's better for you to just tell the truth. Even if they didn't caught you, it must be tiring to keep hiding it from your partner. It's also kinda selfish to hide things just for your own pleasure. Wouldn't you want them to love you for the real YOU? On the other hand, disclosing with your friends, coworkers are not necessary. Since friends and coworkers might spread that information to public and some people might discriminate you. If you want to disclose to your parents, that's great but if you don't want to that's also great because I'm pretty sure that your family would love you no matter what. Family and partner is different because you are trying to build future with your partner and having relationship with them. The last thing you want to do is to not being trustworthy. Family is kinda like they raise you and whatever happens they should've accept you no matter what.
