Honesty Tag Vid P1 Am I a Toxic Person?
This is two parts here and in this part I talk about briefly about myself as a reality check to see a reflection of myself if I am toxic or not.In each one of us if we are really that toxic and challenge each one of us if we are really that toxic ourselves and do we really know what we are really like as a person? We all love to lament about toxic people. In fact, the Internet seems to have blown up overnight with articles about them.
“How To Tell If Someone Is Toxic.”
“You Deserve To Drop Your Toxic Friend.”
“10 Signs A Relationship Is Veering Into Toxic Territory.”
Until recently, we didn’t have a word for the relationships that are not abusive per say, but are in some form or another bad for us. Limiting. Unhealthy - even if that lack of health is innocent.
And this is so often the case with toxic relationships. Oftentimes, the person we perceive to be ‘toxic’ isn’t deliberately manipulative or cruel. They aren’t trying to make our lives miserable. They aren’t attempting to tear us down. They just aren’t what we need to be healthy. And the relationship becomes toxic as a result.
We have to compromise a little to heavily to make it work with a toxic person. We have to extend ourselves a little too far. Their existence - when combined with our existence - puts a strain on the way we’d live our lives if they were not in the picture. And this is the reality of so many toxic relationships - both parties mean well. But the end result is nonetheless poisonous.
The thing is, we don’t actually like to look at toxic people that way - as though they are human.
We like to perceive toxic people to be monsters - trying to tear us down and make our lives wretched at all costs.
They are the parent who is forcing us into activities we hate, because they obviously want us to be humiliated (not because they’re misinformed about what might challenge us). They are the partner who refuses to compromise because they think they’re more important than we are (not because they genuinely don’t understand what we need). They are the friend who always steals the spotlight because they want us to feel small in comparison (not because they’re naturally energized by social situations).
We slap the label ‘toxic’ on people without ever considering their side of the equation - whether their actions are deliberate or if they truly just do not understand our side of things. And this us-versus-them mentality forces a problematic rift in the way we perceive toxic people.
They are evil monsters, we tell ourselves. I couldn’t possibly ever be like them.
We decide that because our intentions are good, we could never be toxic to anyone. And this is how the cycle perpetuates.
Because here’s the truth - chances are, at some point or another, you have been toxic to someone.
You may not have realized it. You may not have registered it. But at some point in time, someone probably strained a little too hard to make a relationship work with you. They probably took a few blows to their self-esteem measuring themselves up to you. They probably went out on a limb to support you and ended up cracking under the pressure.
These things happen, readily and regularly, often without us even noticing. We don’t want to claim the label of ‘toxic’ because we would have behaved differently had we known both sides of the story.
But isn’t that true of most toxic people?
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8 сен 2024
