That scene where she finally opens up is literally one of my favourites of all time because it shows it so perfectly. He tunes out for the whole time she’s actually opening up, the music swells or whatever, and he tunes right back in for “Ive never told anybody that before”. He doesn’t actually care what she told him (he didn’t even hear it), he just cares that he’s special enough she told him.
Matilda Eklund he does that quite a bit as do we. We don’t even hear what she says half the time or even see a person, just a talking superficial mannequin with narration, ambience or swelling music. We look into her apartment but it’s still just “things.” We don’t actually know this person and the movie keeps it hidden from us because Tom doesn’t see her as a person. I was young when I saw it so I thought she was just hipster bullshit but watching it years later I GET IT. It’d be funny if she actually didn’t even look like what tim pictured her as and she changes appearance at the end when he matures.
I've also noticed a good bit of the camera work signifies that. The camera slowly zooms in on Tom's face and blurs Summer's out, almost cropping it completely, having the audience focus on Tom, much like how Tom is pretty much focusing more on he feels than what Summer is feeling as she's opening up to him.
I believe it means this, the thing is sometimes soulmates aren't love interests, my best friend and i like the same thing and we're almost the same, we jinx like every 10 minutes, but that doesn't mean she's the love of my life
My sister told me that before, when we were younger, she never understood Summer, she thought she was a bitch. But then she had a very difficult relationship. And that's when she understood. Sometimes a guy expects too much from a girl, kind of creates his own version of her. And she just wants to be treated like a normal person, not in a pedestal. It also applies the other way around, a girl could expect too much from a guy, but a guy just wants to be loved for who he is not for who the girl thinks he is.
I think a lot of the appeal of this film is the personal connection audiences make with it. That's why so many people think either Tom is stupid or Summer is a bitch, their connection though their own similar relationship
quoting Alanis Morissete's "Not the Doctor": "I don't want to be your idol See, this pedestal is high and I'm afraid of heights" your comment reminded me of the song :)
Also the guy puts her on a pedestal based on really superficial things. Like being pretty and having good taste in music/sense of humor etc. They don’t define us. The problem with guys like Tom, they’re not interested in the girl’s personality. They don’t care. They like the superficial stuff and expect what is on their mind as your personality.
Growing up I had the strong feeling that a lot of the boys I knew, only saw girls as beautiful representations of them. They wanted to be able to look into their eyes and see everything they wanted to be reflected back at them. The only problem was, that I was human, not a mirror.
I've been a Tom, I've been a Summer and this film made me deeply understand something : Nobody owes me anything just because I give them affection and reverse.
Nah everyone deserves to be treated right so you have right to leave an asshole and should also have a right not to use others in a relationship. Like summer did.
It’s strange. I think I find growing up really sad. This movie as well as Paper Towns made me cry hard and I think it’s because of seeing the world or person not as I was taught as a child.
i used to be someone’s manic pixie dream girl. he always told me i was “the light of his life”. i was the bubbly, outgoing, easygoing girl. the quirky and fun one. but as time went on, i opened up. i trusted him. but the moment i gave him a glimpse of the complexity that i carried with me, he left. he was like a light switched off, and left me in the dark. i realized i was just someone to fill the emptiness; the void of his loneliness. and the moment i let him truly know me; truly see me - he didn’t want to put up with it. i realized i was merely “fun”. the girl with no hardships, no baggage. the girl who was always bubbly and exciting and full of life. i was a manic pixie dream girl to him. nothing more, nothing less.
That’s an interesting insight for me. I was under the impression that it was mostly women who left when the guy opens up. Though I’ve always been confused about the phenomenon altogether. Love for me has always been about accepting the person as a whole, warts and all. In fact those things contribute to what make them special, and if you can appreciate those, you achieve a more mature version of love for them. If you can’t, you don’t deserve to have it in the first place.
We do kind of get another perspective of summer when tom comlains about her to his readheaded date. She asks if summer cheated on him, took advantage of him or did misterat him in any other way and tom said no. then she points out, that summer told him about not wanting a relationship right at the beginning multiple times. Also, at the end wehen his sister points out, that summer was not "the one" you see a flashback to a scene that clearly deals with summers bonding issues. yes, this scene is not objective but it emphasises, that tom always knew, he just ignored reality
Laura Müller true, and there are other subtle moments as well. I think these moments give insight into her character, but not enough to definitively say who she is as a person. Its a great structural technique and gives lots to watch for and think about, especially on subsequent viewings of the film
There’s something so special about this movie. In a way it’s a lesson about empathy. The first times I watched this I sided with Tom a hopeless romantic like myself. But when you switch perspectives and put yourself in someone else’s shoes you see summer, and how selfish Tom was. It’s just amazing how a film can look different to you each time you watch it.
they're both selfish though. at least thats something ive said for a while, and no one on youtube or otherwise agrees lol. but to put things in perspective the writer idealized this girl who was basically his "Summer Finn", when she read the screenplay she still sided with Tom. meaning she isnt like Summer lol.
She invited Tom to her engagement party without telling him it was an engagement party, right after she invited him to get coffee, danced with him, was sharing inside jokes(shouting penis game), and fell asleep on his shoulder, the hate is pretty justified.
Yes yes yes yessss. Love the in depth analysis of this film because it is so misunderstood. Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Tom) actually addressed this issue a little bit in an interview "The (500) Days of Summer attitude of 'He wants you so bad' seems attractive to some women and men, especially younger ones but I would encourage anyone who has a crush on my character to watch it again and examine how selfish he is. He develops a mildly delusional obsession over a girl onto whom he projects all these fantasies. He thinks she'll give his life meaning because he doesn't care about much else going on in his life. A lot of boys and girls think their lives will have meaning if they find a partner who wants nothing else in life but them. That's not healthy. That's falling in love with the idea of a person, not the actual person." And i think you have explained this wonderfully even further.
Thank you for this comment! I actually want to talk to some friends of mine about this movie and about how I didn't understand it when I watched it for the first time, and only after watching this video and by reading the comment section 😅🙈 I will read your comment to them because it explains perfectly (and in a nutshell) what I am thinking but cannot seem to put into words lol Thanks again ☺️🙈
This movie reminds me a lot of John Green's book "Paper Towns". The boy spends the entire book chasing after that perfect mysterious ethereal image he built of the girl, only to get it shattered by the ending of the book when he realizes she (shockingly!!!!) Has her own reasons, wishes and motivations to do the things she did.
I had my "500 Days of Summer" moment with this guy that I had a crush on for a year before finally going on dates with him, but who eventually cut me loose. I literally thought of him as a "prince" and the whole experience as "proof" that I didn't deserve to be loved/find true love. It was ridiculous and basically equivalent to Tom's brooding in the film. I was especially upset when I discovered he was seeing another girl soon after. But, over time, I realized how ridiculous I was being as his flaws were revealed, and that at least he was respectful enough of my feelings to tell the truth early on. What he wanted mattered too, and in the end it was just another "almost" love that was never meant to be. It was unfair to attach so much meaning to him because he was just a person; not the embodiment of my self-worth.
Im going throw this right now. Reading your experience has made me realize the situation. And yes, its kind of ridiculous and i really think its unfair for me, as the one who portrayed all my wishes onto him and got attached so kickly, and also him because he truly cares for me but as a friend. He wanted a friend and read his intentions the other way around. Hopefully soon ill be over this crush that i have for him, and everything sorts out. Loved to hear your perspective and let me tell you that it is very mature of you to think now that way.
shadowsaladsalad That only goes so far. Loving somebody with all of your heart means giving a part of you to them. I think anyone who loves someone else would be devastated if they found that they don’t like them as much as they thought they did. And this isn’t just exclusive to romantic relationships. For example, a loving child who later finds his mother wanted to have an abortion, but didn’t go through. It’s the same thing- expectations and projections of unconditional love transmuted onto the child’s mother, just to have them shattered at her “seeming” lack of reciprocation of their ideal. Romantic relationships are a more extreme version of this- there’s so much around us that perpetuates this notion of finding someone to compete you, even in simple terms like “your other half”. Romantic relationships have this expectation of unimaginable and immediately astonishing world of beauty that one is thrust in to- falling in love. And that happens for many of us. And quite honestly, that is what it feels like- almost sublime. But some take it too far, being blinded by an idea of a perfect person for them, and unaware of the beautiful potential for love that may be imperfect, and completely human, and because of that, true. True love is an embodiment of that- not about an idea becoming realized, but of a person becoming realized, as they are, and loving them because of it.
I wouldn't say that Tom was an idiot but that Tom was kind of a jerk. There is a difference between a jerk and an idiot. He come of as one of those Nice Guy™ types to me. A Nice Guy™ is not a guy who is actually nice but a guy who thinks he should be rewarded with the girl he's attracted to just because he is nice to her. Tom doesn't treat her like a real person and puts all of his hopes and wants on her without her say. He doesn't consider her wants- only his own. He obsesses over her and doesn't even ask her out. He doesn't ask her out and is insulted at the thought of rejection. He doesn't respect that she doesn't want a boyfriend. He agrees to a casual relationship and later demands that they be a couple. It looked like he felt entitled to be with Summer. But this made me see that he probably matured at the end of the movie. He probably outgrew being a Nice Guy™ too.
totally agree. Tom is immature in the beginning, and this film is the story of him maturing from a Nice Guy™ to an adult with a healthier, more understanding world view.
But there's this one scene that pissed me off so much, that's when suddenly summer kissed Tom after she's made it clear that she doesn't want a boyfriend. She's like adding fuel to Tom's feelings and giving him false hope
+Derpface Onigiri Summer does find him "interesting". She wanted something but didn't want a boyfriend. At that point (when she kissed him), she has no idea that Tom is obsessed with her. He didn't tell her how he really felt. I think that was a mistake on her part rather than her intentionally messing with him. If she knew his real feelings and intentions- at that point she would've turned him down because they don't want the same things. I don't think Tom would have taken Summer turning him down early well either.
@@Blondegenius3 yea, I agree with Tom wouldn't take summer's rejection very well because he wouldn't have grown up yet. With Tom being too idealistic/egoist and during the beginning part when Summer loves her hair yet she can just cut it without feeling anything, I just think both of them had issues. Yet, most of people only blame Tom for everything. Idk if it's just me but throughout the movie, I felt Summer treated Tom the same way as she did to her hair. Like, forcing a kiss on him or when she approached him on the train, inviting him to her party but didn't tell Tom anything about her engagement. Yes, Tom didn't consider her feelings and forcing all his ideals, that's like treating her as an object. But in a way, Summer too did the same, she did all of those simply just because she wanted to, without considering the other party's feelings. What if the roles were reversed? Tom were the girl and Summer were the guy, typically people would associate it with sexual harassment O_O". Don't get me wrong though, I really think that their meeting was necessary and from the ending I guess they both learnt something good. Overall, I'm really satisfied with the ending.
"He doesn't respect that she doesn't want a boyfriend." When you have strong feelings for a person, it can be hard to accept (let alone "hear") that they might not want anything serious. Many have fallen into the trap of thinking that their love can change the other person's mind. It doesn't make that person a jerk. It just makes them human.
It's so cool how this movie shows Summer goes on with her life, she doesn't die or disappear, she's real. That's the moral of the movie to me 🙌 Thanks for this video, very insightful 🤗
I enjoy that too! I also love too that in the film, it shows growth from not just Tom but Summer. Although Summer may not have wanted to be in a relationship and be someone with a wall up, she learns to break down her walls with Tom. She begins to see the beauty in love that Tom sees, she grows to understand it’s okay to believe in romance. Although Tom wasn’t the person for her, he helped mold her to be that person for somebody else (and vise versa). This movie is the most realistic “love”/coming of age story you can get, it shows what relationships do, what they’re intended to do whether it succeeds or not and that is to grow.
I dodged being a manic pixie dream girl once. The guy and I had very similar and niche hobbies + interests (music, movies etc.). I think because of that he put me on a pedestal and saw me as 'quirky' or 'unique'. He started liking me after about a week, and it was pretty obvious (and kinda annoying). You can also tell when they're seeing you as a manic pixie dream girl when they see you as some kind of therapist. He'd always put his emotional baggage on me and expect me to instantly make him feel better or know what to do. We weren't even dating. My advice is to just nip this vision of you right in the bud. I had to make it clear that I _wasn't_ perfect, and I wasn't going to solve all his problems.
Hannah Joseph I just made it as clear as possible that I wasn't interested in him and that I wasn't the "one" for him. Mostly by avoiding him or ignoring him. Eventually he realised that he didn't really want me anymore and stopped projecting his fantasies onto me.
The EXACT same situation happened to me. We were texting about school as usual and all of a sudden he started talking about his personal problems to me, I was super uncomfortable. We weren't even that close. I told him I wasn't looking for a relationship but he persuaded so I cut him off right away.
I have to admit, the first time I saw the movie, I thought Summer was a bitch. The second time though, I flipped 180, and realised she did nothing wrong. She was clear from the beginning that she didn't want a relationship. Tom initially said yes, and then he decides they're in a relationship anyway, something she clearly didn't want. And even at the end, the soul-crushing expectations vs reality scene... before, when they're on the phone, Summer explicitly says she wants to be friends, nothing else. She's not leading him on. Maybe she should have said in advance that she was with someone else, but it's not a big thing to her. In her pov, Tom is over her and wants to be her FRIEND. He's the one with alterior motives.
@Nyet Nine "She knew Tom's feelings and strung him along anyway. " She was absolutely straightforward about not wanting a boyfriend or a relationship from the very beginning. If Tom doesn't understand English that's his problem. She didn't do anything wrong.
yupp..... though i will say she knew he liked her regardless of him not saying anything because yknow she aint stupid. and i do feel like she played him a bit just for fun. like why kiss your friend?? specially if you dont want him like that and u r with someone? just saying.. i think she liked the ego boost of having someone like her yknow
Nyet Nine I agree that it’s an option to step back if you realise the other person feels more than you, but if you’re being honest with them, they should be able to make their own decisions - otherwise it’s patronising, isn’t it?
but seriously it shows the sexism in Hollywood that if they appeal to the female fantasy just once, they'll make a billion dollars from emotionally immature teenage girls 😎
There is a theory that Jack in "reality" wasn´t all that great and because the story is told from the perspective of old Rose she remembered him through "rose-colored glasses" and that would make Leo somewhat a manic pixie boy.
The reason people struggle to understand this film is because it goes completely against the grain of what nearly every other romance on screen involves, while keeping some of the romantic elements. How many films have we seen where someone says they don't want a relationship but cave after being pursued and see that they want it all along? It's very easy to get blinded by the pretty cinematography and scenes like Summer turning up at Tom's door or telling him something she's never told anyone before. Because we have that pretty romance mixed in and Tom's point of view only we might miss the message. Summer is testing things out in the relationship too, working out what she wants, which in some ways is a healthier approach than deciding someone is perfect for you and sticking with that.
@@AnHeC The main point is that 99,99% of movies with couples are exactly that way. Movies like 500 days of summer are one in a million. That's what the person was talking about.
@Mark Warner i don't think that's a bad thing though; that's a realistic thing in many relationships. One side just doesn't understand why the other is unhappy (sometimes even when they outright communicate it!). I've ended relationships where we has been fighting non stop and it was incredibly unpleasant, but the other person still begged to "make it work". Not every relationship is meant to last forever and sometimes people are less compatible than they realise in the early days.
This movie was so special to me I remember it ringing so strongly because I had just lost my dream girl. And I hated summer because she did exactly what my dream girl did to me. Kept he distance and only pulled me back so that I wouldn't leave. It took years for me to realize how it wasn't her fault but mine for being so stuck on projecting what I wanted her to be for me in my life I never even really got to know the person in front of me. I was selfish, I was blinded and I was foolish. This movie was a mirror for me.
I hate when this film is called sexist. Yes, Summer's perspective is not included, and Tom only sees her as a dream girl and not as a fully realized person. That's the point. The film doesn't view Tom favorably. It doesn't hate him, but it regards him as a person who needs to mature before he can have an adult romantic relationship. Tom is a bit sexist at the start (not in the aggressively pigheaded way that we normally picture sexism, but in that he only sees Summer as she relates to him and doesn't see her as a complete person), but he grows out of that, and because of that, the film rewards him with the opportunity to start anew with someone else. There's no guarantee that his relationship with Autumn will work out, but he's a better person than he was before. Far from perpetuating the sexist idea that female characters exist only to fulfill and please a male hero, it makes a fascinating movie about tearing into that idea, and importantly, showing a man discarding that idea and becoming a better person because of it.
You simultaneously mention that this movie is "far from perpetuating the idea that female characters exist only to fulfill the male hero" and acknowledge that Summer's character makes Tom into a better person. You just laid out her entire character arc and written objective. Female characters written to help men better understand themselves are inherently sexist in their formation.
Exept you could swap out the female and the male characters and the movie would still say the same story, or two male characters, or two female ones. The gender of the characters is irrelevent here.
But a myopic view of women being used as tools for growth has deeper and more sexist implications. Especially since we see this exemplified not only in popular media but in real life instances of women being used a devices to substantiate a man's growth and wellbeing instead of being treated as people.
This especially prevalent with regard to women being in service of men, however, since we see it echoed everywhere. Women are constantly used as tools. A narrative like this only serves to deepen and normalize this sexist trope.
+Daniella I disagree. Women, particularly young women, do very much the same. Eventually, Tom learned from his mistakes. It’s not Summer who had to teach him; in fact, she very pointedly refused to do that. She merely expressed and held firm to what she would and would not be in HER relationship. One could argue that the majority of things we learn in life, we learn through experience/mistakes. And in relationships, it’s nearly impossible to learn without another person being involved. The only way this story could have been told without being sexist in the way that you claim would be if Tom had been a gay man.
I wanna see Summer's perspective. She seemed like someone who's always seen as a "dream girl" from her backstory about the yogurt shop and apartments. When you look the part, it's hard to act how you really wanna act without confusing people. I have a friend with her style choice who likes nerdy stuff and metal music and guys always think she's this "character" when she's more than that.
I honestly enjoy your analysis. Tbh ever since I saw the movie, I have the feelings that Tom was in love with the idea of Summer, not who she really is. I was right abt it.
@Mark Warner also, we see 7 days between 31 and 290. Of those 7, 1 is good, 1 is bad, and 5 while leaning towards good have different levels of warning signs that things aren't as good as they seem (Tom notices almost none of these warning signs, of course)
@Mark Warner It's not what Tom said bad about the relationship after it ended, its what Tom said good about it. See 6:20 where he describes the relationship extremely selfishly, solely in terms about himself. I do agree that it would've been nice to see some sort of transition from the relationship going well to it not (it happens sometime between days 191 and 259, of which no days are shown). The day 259 bar scene where things are clearly not going well does come out of nowhere, which makes sense for Tom, but as an audience member I would've liked to have seen some hints of what led to that moment. Here are the 7 days shown between days 31 and 290 (gist.github.com/davidpots/d0fc156c711001dab61a is my reference): - 154: Tom tells his friend how he is in love with Summer and his friend, one whom he respects the thoughts and opinions of, responds "This is not good". This response is a medium sized warning sign. - 109: Tom goes back to Summer's place and finally opens up to him, and he makes it about him ("I guess I'm not just anyone") not her. Big warning sign. - 118: Tom asks Summer what their relationship is while driving but Summer refuses to answer ("What does it matter? Aren't you happy...") Big warning sign - 259: Bar fight and aftermath. This is the bad one - 266: Discussing old boyfriends, something Summer makes it clear she doesn't want to do but even so, Tom pushes her until she does it. Minor warning sign. - 191: Tom and Summer leave the lame art gallery and go to the movies. This is the good one. - 167: Tom killing it in the office, Summer as his muse. But there is no sign that Tom inspires Summer at all, let alone to the level Summer inspires Tom. Minor warning sign. Also, here are some more days that I missed (bringing the overall total to 12) - 34: At IKEA, Summer clearly tells Tom she isn't looking for anything serious. Big warning sign. - 45: At work, Summer hums the TV show theme song as Tom listens. This is a good one. - 87: Tom and Summer rent a shower sex porno then go home and imitate it. Another good one. - 95: Tom takes Summer on an architecture tour, finishing at his favorite spot. Another good one, although Tom's immaturity does show at one point ("If it were me, I'd make them notice."). Summer responds well though, so it isn't a warning sign for their relationship, just a minor one for Tom in general. - 282: Tom is completely out of touch with Summer, him trying to play a game at IKEA and her not into it at all. Big warning sign.
I knew how Summer felt when I got into a relationship with a friend who had been in love with me for a few months but I had left him in the 'friend zone'. When I dated him, he was disappointed that I wasn't as perfect as he had envisioned me to be. Women aren't Manic Pixie Dream Girls, they're just human beings, like you.
perhaps we know how tom wrapped the story up but maybe summer wouldnt end her story until events that happen after.. like showing if they had a friendship or something along those lines
Even the name of his two love interests plays towards this. The fact that they went with Summer and Autumn as names. Summer is often a term used to refer to the peak of one's youth, the last stage of their childlike innocence before they become adults. Autumn has been used before to refer to the next stage of some one's life, often their adulthood, whereas Spring is your childhood and Winter is near the end of your life.
this is a really really really well thought through analysis and made me realize a lot about the film I didn’t before. the only thing that bugs me about this movie is that the sole purpose of Summer’s character is to help Tom grow up, even after they show that she was in fact a real person and only a manic pixie dreamgirl through Tom’s eyes
(At least in my personal opinion) They both help each other grow- The movie kind of established that (much earlier) Summer really was (kind of) the manic pixie dream girl (it lists off the effect she had in high school and more) early before- and being with Tom made her see something in someone else that allowed her to be happy. Meanwhile she helped Tom realize that being infatuated with an idea you make up isn’t love. We know for a fact Summer is better off with someone she knows cares about her- and we know Tom now has an understanding of love.
@Mark Warner Tom always cared about her- once again he was just infatuated more than he was in love. Summer could be a great friend for him. Not a good girlfriend. She’s too flaky
@Mark Warner It’s based on what IS shown as an artistic choice by Marc Webb. Additionally, what Tom’s sister says about the relationship- seeing through it the whole time. And by Tom’s fantastical episodes- He sees himself as Han Solo. He breaks into a Flash mob. He ‘watches’ movies that feature him as the hero. There’s literally an “Expectation vs Reality” scene (it’s really sad actually) that suggests that he’s willing to trade real life for his imagined one. He’s a dreamer- and his relationship was almost a dream. His Sister even calls him out on it.
Personally I have a more cynical view of the ending. Since the timer restarts I always saw that as the cycle repeating and Tom is just putting that dream girl persona he wants on the next girl lol
Perhaps. Personally, I don't think Autumn is the one for Tom, and don't think their relationship will amount to much (she's too different from Summer and a lot of what Tom liked about Summer was legitimate). But even so, I do think Tom is moving in the right direction.
Movies Under The Surface Just curious, how do you know Autumn is so different from Summer if she’s barely in the movie? Is it because she initiates the conversation with Tom first and seems more friendly/bubbly than Summer? Or is it because she turns him down then changes her mind right after? Also, like you said, we don’t really know Summer, just Tom’s view of her. We also don’t know Autumn as she’s only in the last scene. So, how can you make that statement if you don’t really know either of them?
Yes. That weird smirky smile he gives at the end I think was supposed to make the viewer question whether this is just going to repeat, or has he progressed enough? Been a long while since I've seen it, but it made me feel unsure and worried
Movies Under The Surface on the other hand this movie is all about comparability. What Tom has done wrong before is basically checking off a list of all the traits he thought the “perfect girl” would have. The lesson learned is that even though someone meets all of your standards, you may still not be compatible. Sometimes it just fits even though it’s not what you were looking for
I would argue it just shows life goes on. There will be winter after autumn, like it came after summer. Those are the seasons of your life. They can last 500 days, or just two, but after every single one will be a new one. It's not a love story but one about life, relationships and growing (and maybe a bit of love). The movie is pretty deep honestly. Gonna watch it again for sure.
Thank you for this! 500 days of summer helped me grow so much more than I anticipated when it came out, I was a 16 year old misguided boy watching it amidst a relationship breakdown that I subconsciously perceived as "she is pushing me away for no good reason when I am this wonderful romantic how could she do this to me" it made me realise I was unfairly idealizing the girls in my life and that I was leading myself into these situations where I was ignoring her needs and desires in order to try and fulfill this fantasy whirlwind romance idea that I had concocted it my head. My next lasted much longer, and though we did eventually break up instead of wallowing in self pity I was able to use that lesson that 500 days of summer taught me and held myself accountable for the missteps I had made and learned from them, and I hope it made a similar impact for anyone else who has a tendency to idealize others and then blame them for not living up to your personal expectations
Great discussion of the film. It really is important to realize that the movie chooses to portray Tom's perspectives rather than reality. This is a really poignant glimpse into the way that we tend to approach relationships--selfishly viewing the other person as whatever we want them to be. Another excellent video my friend. Subscribed.
I was someone’s manic pixie dream girl once. He put me in a pedestal and when we broke up his view of me basically became Tom’s view of Summer when they broke up. I always thought Summer committed mistakes as we all do in a relationship but she was never a bad person and it was not her fault she couldn’t love him. But I think Tom was a jerk, and this jerkiness came from his immaturity and false idealistic and selfish perception of love.
This is what I learned in my '20's and what I've been trying to explain to my friends who are still like him. If you talk about your partner in terms of 'I want a girl that looks like this... I want a boy who makes me feel like that...' it's not a good way to look at relationships. From your perspective if you like/love them you should be concerned with what they need and want, and they should be doing the same for you. You think they're great, even seeing their flaws. Especially with modern technology it's too easy to dehumanize people, in both positive and negative ways, neither of which are healthy.
What if you’re not looking and one pops into your life out of nowhere? Nowhere on the radar and yet they enter. For me it’s not someone to complete me. Complete opposites I like that. Opposites compliment one another. A friend told me once it’s always the ones who you least expect. That friend was right. At the same time about timing and I’m about had it with bad timing. I wanted to ask but I knew my place and where it was and we were going separate ways. I still don’t regret it but I had to. Once I made that choice to take the pressure that was building off me. There was really no going back from that. I’m a man of my word. Just build a friendship. I’m at the point where I’m sick of almosts and when those little things were happening. I wasn’t looking. I stopped being Tom out of from when I made one of my last stupid pursuits. Putting all eggs in one basket. That kind of thing. You do everything right but still have to make that call. It sucks. I’d say I’m an Autumn. This whole situation I’m still in. I’m sick of all the petty drama I’ve had to endure this past year. Honestly it’s like you to try to be a friend. Having several conversations this year. The current one she’s with loses his shit. Fixing to get worse. Happened several times going as far back earlier the year before. I’m the one putting on a pedestal?
I hadn't realized he had matured at the end of the movie. I always saw that scene with Autumn as the opposite, as a "here we go again" moment. I think your reading of this scene is much better than mine. Thanks, now it makes more sense to me and it's less frustrating.
I also thought that it was a here we go again scene haha 😅 The first time watching the movie, I think I didn't get anything really... Only after watching this video now I can say that I understand what the film is about.
I was someone's manic pixie dreamgirl once. They said I was rational and thought-driven, which supposedly fit together with their emotion/heart-driven mindset in like a "made for each other" situation. But they refused to see the part of me that was emotionally driven and human. It always bugged me when they said that because I knew it meant they didn't know me. That was one of the reasons I couldn't return their affection.
«[...] the film isn't about love, or finding your soulmate, it's about growing up». BRAVO!!!!!!!!!! *stands up of the chair and starts clapping effusively*.
Summer was not a bitch. She was honest with Tom from the very beginning when she said she didn't want a relationship and she loved her independence and just wanted to have fun. Tom chose to overlook her disclaimer. Still, I did feel bad for him because you could feel his pain. I know I could. But I loved that the film was based on reality and not BS fantasy like 99% of them.
I like the fact that the movie is only shown through Tom's POV. It helps you relate to him, and go through what he goes through, but in the end, discover that you were in the wrong the whole time.
Omg I was someones MPDG and at the beginning it was great and we had a nice 100 days or so. But after a while it was exhausting: I was his everything. I was his perfect trophy girlfriend, his best friend, his therapist, his inspiration... but once he found out I was human too (aka: an independent "bitch") he acted so hurt and disappointed. For a really long time, I thought I was the bad one, the one who messed everything up. But now I know that it was ridiculous to live up to his expectations all the times. This was really helpful to forgive myself. Thank you.
I'm involuntarily being someone's manic pixie dream girl right now. We've been friends for years, he knows what I want (I've told him many times, but he just ignores what I say) and we're like chalk and cheese. I have no interest in him, but he still hopes. 2 days ago we had an argument because he was trying to convince me to _not_ have kids and that I should be with him (I'm not attracted to him, I want to start a family one day and he doesn't, we don't share similar interests or values, so there's no way I'd even consider a relationship with him). He has accused me of *not being touchy enough* with him (let him hold my hand, flirty touches etc), and I'd reply "Why the heck should I? You're not my bf! Why do we need to touch like that?" I'm trying to not lead him on, but he refuses to see things realistically. I use to be sweet and nice to him (that's how I am with all my friends), but he takes even minor gestures of kindness from me as signs of attraction, so I've learnt to just be cold and distant because he reads every situation between us incorrectly. When I watch 500 Days of Summer, I understand her, I feel her pain. Feels like crap being put on a pedestal that you don't want to be on with a guy you don't like (in that way).
Oh I feel you.. There was a guy in my school who used to take the same bus as I, I was polite and talked with him from time to time. But he started to treat me like there were something between us, and just like you said, took minor gestures of kindness as signs of attraction. And randomly kissed me one day?? I hope your situation sorts itself out, and I hope he grows up! Good luck xx
@@MiaStar That's not how it works, manic pixie refers to the manic pixie dream girl trope, which is what she's saying he was treating her like, despite the fact that she's more complex than that.
"2 days ago we had an argument because he was trying to convince me to not have kids and that I should be with him " Cut contact. This is getting dangerous. One wanting children and the other not doing so is a MASSIVE difference in life goals, this is not choosing the carpeting. If despite this difference he insists on YOU changing your worldview... Run, girl, run. This looks bad.
Summer also had some growing up to do. She thought she didn't want a relationship, but she ended up getting married pretty quickly. At some point she realized she DID want a relationship, just not with Tom.
Just watched The Graduate and I couldn't stop drawing parallels between it and my favorite movie, 500 days. I think you've got an excellent analysis, on many, many fronts and I really appreciate you spelling this out so creatively. I must've seen 500 days about seven or eight times and I could never quite put my finger on these fine details you so very well laid out. Thank you!!
Thanks! I appreciate the comments. Definitely see the parallels between 500 Days of Summer and The Graduate, and also Annie Hall. Those films are kind of a trifecta of coming-of-age relationship comedies, each one complements the other really well.
Thank you for this video! It’s so good! I just got diagnosed with bipolar 2 so I get treated like a manic pixie dream girl in a literal sense. When really, I’m just a person who struggles with mental health. If you find me quirky and fun, awesome I love that! But I’m first and foremost a person who also deals with darker issues too. I’m not going to be able to fix your problems because I can’t even fix my own.
I'm the Tom right now in my life....and I'm a woman. I feel really embarrassed and sad. I was suicidally depressed....I quit therapy.....and then when I met him at this job I never saw anyone more beautiful, smart or intelligent in my life. He made me want to live and take better care of myself again. I started working out, taking dance classes, finding new therapists BECAUSE of him. Anytime he was vaguely nice to me I interpreted as love. (I mean...he offered to give me a massage one time because I jokingly complained about being in pain and on my period.....but who knows....I can't just draw that he likes me based on that one interaction) I would play love songs and dance to them in my room, I would have fantasies of us moving in together, me meeting his family. Just being around him made me a happier person. When we first met he had a girlfriend.....then when he broke up with her...I thought...this was the part in the movie that he asks me out. That he realizes he is in love with me. It has to be fate that I started to like him and he broke up with his girlfriend right? But it's becoming more and more obvious that he is not interested in me. He goes off by himself whenever he we have a break at work. He talked about hooking up with someone right after he broke up with his girlfriend. He barely asks how I am and mostly talks about himself. And now I got news that he is quitting this job. I have to let him go. I have to realize that he is a separate person with needs and wants outside of the fantasy world I built for us in my head. It hurts....a lot. But he didn't do anything wrong except not like me back. Thank you for this analysis. It feels embarrassing that I'm the Tom in my life and I'm a woman. But maybe it is the analysis I need.
In recent times I can say I have been Tom. It ultimately ruined my last relationship and to a degree it's also ruined what could have been a friendship. I adore this film, it is definitely a wake-up call for anyone feeling sad over love and romances and it's definitely taught me how to learn to respect space and self worth.
I love this video! A lot of video essays leave me with the question of "but why didn't we see more of Summer's side", but this video explains: it isn't about Summer. It's about Tom's interpretation of Summer.
I've now been both a Tom and a Summer. I treat relationships much more maturely now. I shouldn't look for someone to 'complete me', just as I shouldn't change who I am to suit someone else. Those are both harsh lessons everyone should learn with regards to relationships.
I love this! You've discussed it different then most videos and flat out stated it's about growing up and coming of age. Awesome breakdown. Keep it up.
Very good analysis but did you listen to the director's commentary and read articles about this film? Zooey Deschanel actually clashed some with the director over her character. She felt that the character was too harsh and Zooey was protective of her so she wasn't just seen as a "bitch." And remember the opening credits acknowledge that this is based on the writer's real experience with a girl who he calls a bitch. He acknowledges this girl in the DVD commentary. So I'm not sure the writer/director saw Summer as a growing experience for Tom.
I listened to the commentary, but don't seem to remember it as well as you. I know the director talks about what I talk about in my video all the time, basically every time he is asked about this film. I also think the opening "bitch" statement was simply a tongue-in-cheek joke to set the tone, and not much more than that. The writer who based Summer on his ex-girlfriend actually showed the script to his ex, something I doubt he would do if he really thought she was a bitch. Interestingly, the writer's ex said she identified more with Tom than with Summer.
so nicely discussed. i love this video. i couldn't understand this movie at all when i first watched it since i was still pretty young and obsessed with movies that heavily focused on just romance. i think i get it better now. good job!
I dodged being a manic pixie dream girl. He expected so much from me, and he didn't even know me. We met online. He doesn't even know my real name. I liked him. A lot. But the fear of disappointing him had me stressed out all the time. He rationalized the pain when I left by calling me a catfish. In a way I was a catfish. I felt like one when he'd talk to me, more like talk about me. It was like he was having conversations with someone he made up in his head. He didn't like it when I expressed my opinions. Or my interests. They never aligned with his expectations. I blamed myself for not being perfect. But not anymore. Thank you so much for this video.
This movie came out the year I graduated high school - at that age I watched it with a very naive eye (considering I was completely inexperienced and a virgin in every sense of the word). I simply enjoyed the visuals of what a relationship might look like and I sympathized with Tom. I did not interpret all the intricacies of their imbalance to the extent that you have. This year I had the realization that I’ve been the female version of a ‘Nice Guy’. Your analysis of Tom made me realize that I was him in all of my attempts & failures at acquiring romance (and friendships at times). I see myself as less of a victim now. I’ve come to terms with my habit of idealizing people. I ought to have more respect for myself.
I almost became someone manic pixie dream girl. At the time I realized something was off about our relationship. He would hear me out when I said something about myself, but I never really opened up, I guess I just showed him my quirks and my nerdiness. But he told me all of his problems and it was nearly like I was a therapist. We started out as friends, so naturally I loved him as a friend. He did not know the real me and I knew he didnt, but he acted like he did. I wasnt the person he made me out to be, i couldnt save him from his issues or take him out of his shell. I had my own issues and couldnt "complete him" not at my age and not with my ambitions. When i realized that i did not want to be in a relationship with him he broke down and tried to get a sympathy date, and gosh darn it it almost worked. I cared about him because we started out as friends and that's how I saw him. I felt like shit for rejecting him and "friend zoning" him, and he made me feel like that. I tried to be cordial because we had mutual friends and saw each other all the time. He would make underhand insults that really hurt me, if you knew what happened between us you got it but otherwise it just sounded like a joke. and he seemed to still think he had a chance with me. He was pissy when I was talking to one of our mutual guy friends who I actually have a lot more in common with,,, he even sat between us when we were watching a movie... just... never be someone's manic pixie dream girl. Remember, the other person you are in a relationship with or are interested in is a person outside of your mind and has their own emotions and ambitions. They dont live to complete you...
Thanks! It's one of my favorite movies as well. As for recommendations, I definitely recommend Annie Hall. 500 Days of Summer is often considered to be the current generation's Annie Hall, and if you watch it you'll definitely see the similarities. The Graduate is another recommendation, as someone else who responded to this video already mentioned. It's hard to find other films similar to 500 Days, as it is a unique film, much moreso than it seems at first glance. Another film I'd recommend is Almost Famous, its a coming of age film that I think has a similar appeal. And Amelie is a romance (sort of) with a similar appeal. Of course, I also recommend all the other movies I've done videos on: Social Network, Drive, Die Hard, and more to come!
The names Summer and Autumn are also a reference to Tom's growth. Autumn being his symbolic growth into an adult. Nice video! Makes me want to go watch the movie again.
This explanation makes me fall in love more than ever with the film. You have explained the film so succinctly, things that I wasn't able to put in words
probably the best analysis of the film yet - hell, joseph gordon levitt even agreed with it! once i understood the nature of the manic pixie dream fantasy, it changed my perspective on soooo many films and shows i've watched before
I've watched quite a lot of essays on (500), but this one has been by far the most brilliant examination of the film! thank you so much for sharing all these thoughts!!
I have it watched this movie on 2012, 2015 and another one just awhile ago Jan 1 2019. And i must say that its just now i realized whats the movie all about. Indeed it is Tom's perspective... all about his needs and wants. You got 1 subscriber here!
EXACTLY WHAT I WAS THINKING! I also think there is so much people don’t think about but when you point to the public that it’s just in toms perspective then it opens everything ❤️ keep up the good work
Thanks! I really appreciate it! Funny you should ask about La La Land, because my next film is on Whiplash, the film Damien Chazelle did right before that one. I hope you enjoy it!
That sounds awesome! Hopefully you can do La La Land as a follow up, continuation, or an altogether separate one later on then? Maybe you could even delve into mini-series of recurring underlying themes etc in films by the same directors such as Damien Chazelle, Francis Ford Coppola, M. Night Shyamalan, and Woody Allen!
I do plan on delving into entire directors' oeuvres at some point. I have several directors I want to tackle and while it is still very early in Chazelle's career, he is definitely on track to become one of them
Hello again! I just wrote something on La La Land that I think will interest you. Until I make my La La Land video, you can get my thoughts on the film here: www.quora.com/Those-whove-seen-Whiplash-and-La-La-Land-which-one-did-you-find-better-Why/answer/Gabriel-Bruskoff
I watched this movie when I was 17, ten years ago. I skipped school to watch it in cinemas and it has been my favourite movie since. I immediately understood it the same way you explained it
This made me realize I was my ex's Summer. And that he is a Tom. When he asked me to be his girl, he said, "I like you... because you're smart and beautiful. I like the feeling I have when I'm with you. I think you're good for me." And I liked how sure he was that he wants and needs me. So I said yes. And for the whole relationship, he always say that ever since he met me, he became a better person. That he sees a future with me. But no. After a year together, he cheated on me. He said he's sorry, that he cut ties with that girl already, I am the one he chooses, he can't live without me, he loves me very much, bla bla. You know, I can handle the cheating. I was gonna to forgive him. But I realized, he loves the other girl, maybe more than he loves me. So I broke up with him. I've cut communication with him already, but our friends say the two of them are still in touch. And that the girl is just playing games on him but he's too blinded. I guess, the other girl and I, we are both his manic pixie girls. The only problem is, I was the one who loved him truly; I was the one left broken and bleeding from the pain they caused me. But that's all in the past now. Am still in the process of moving on and I hope he grows into a better person. I hope the love I gave him won't be just wasted and forgotten. I am grateful for the time I had with him and the life lessons he left me with.
WOW! 500 Days of Summer is one of my all time favourite movies, and you just helped me understand it so. much. BETTER. I'm so inspired I have to watch it again!
the only thing that confuses me about this is that in the end tom looks out sort of mischevously and the count starts again which makes me feel like he hasn't changed at all.
Yeah, the first time I watched it I didn't understand it at all and I thought Summer was the real jerk. The second time around I realized how selfish Tom was and how he had all these really unhealthy expectations. Maybe this third time around I'll find the part that helps me understand the end better
I noticed that. The meaning that I took from it was that it's a new chapter in Tom's life. We don't actually know how the relationship will go with Autumn - or how Summer's new relationship with the unidentified guy will go, for that matter - but they're each moving on to their next relationship a little wiser and more experienced, thanks to their time with each other.
On a more detailed answer, I think the movie shows some kind of cycle of how your relationships evolve as you grow up Spring (not depicted) : first relationships, first glance at what it is Summer : Both the "fun while it lasted" summer camp type of relationships and at the same time, helps you understand what you look for in a person. Fall (or Autumn) : Settling down, a relationship with someone that can only work once you've matured, ready to talk things out, compromise, understand the other one etc. Winter (up for interpretation) : Depending on how optimistic you are it can range from growing old with that person to dying alone in the cold
I am so happy you made this. The first time I watched this movie I thought Summer was the problem, but then when I grew up and I experienced relationships I realized that she wasn’t the problem, Tom’s love for who he wished she was, was the problem. I’ve been someone’s manic pixie, and it was hard cause I would hurt him but I was very honest with the fact that I couldn’t date anyone due to the simple fact that still had lingering feelings for my ex and had not healed. He was very upset because I wasn’t acting the way he wanted me to, and even called me gross when i went out on a date with someone else even though he and i weren’t dating ! We finally cut it off. I wish him well, but he’s a bit too clingy and does not see reality
This movie was much deeper than I thought it was going to be before watching it. Your analysis of it is very true, I do not think any of the characters is to blame for the failure of the relationship as it was doomed to fail because he idealised her too much from the get go (couldn't help but doing so) and she just went along with it because she was happy and was pretty upfront about the non-committed relationship thing (so she's really not to blame either). And as you said, he did grow up during the film which is why at the beginning he put her on a pedestal and because of that he didn't see what was wrong and couldn't let go of the idea of her being perfect. To quote Wanda from Bojack Horseman "You know, it's funny; when you look at someone through rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like flags." and Tom just had to grow up in order to be able to ditch the rose colored glasses. There's also the idea of blaming society for making us hopeless romantic (when Tom freaks out) and I agree with that message a lot.
Someone asked me why I liked this movie and I said “because it has a happy ending” to which someone else replied “no it doesn’t, they don’t even end up together!” But... summer ended up married to a guy she really loved, that IS a happy ending for her, even though it wasn’t with Tom it was still a wonderful learning experience for both of them. I love this movie!
First video I watched but subscribed anyway. I loved how you explained this and yes, the film is misunderstood. I have watched it so many times because when looking at bits I didn't notice before, it becomes more things to discover. I got it was from Tom's perspective and you can see that change when he talks about her on good/bad days. He goes from loving her birth mark to mocking it, enjoying her laugh to hating it. It pictures how in relationships, especially young ones, how someone can change their perspective on someone so quickly. Think I am going to go watch it again, still one of my favourite movies.
I had to write an essay on this film for college. And I have to say, after literally over analyzing the film, I loved your perspective on it. Great work.
That’s how I feel about the commentary on this film. It’s so aggravating. Either everyone HATES summer with a passion, since they are seeing only what Tom sees, or they think Tom is useless and all about himself, when in reality he makes the mistake that many of us make in love. Thank you for this.
Thank you for explaining film. Never thought about this film in that perspective and I think don’t only me but many people watched this film just for fun. So thank you for bringing out the meaning.
Wow, watching your video made me realize that I once was a manic pixie dream girl. My ex boyfriend and I were together for 4 years, four long and tiring years of me trying to be the perfect girlfriend he wanted. He had this idea of me, and every time I showed him glimpses of my real self he made me feel guilty, he would tell me that I was being unfair to him, that he expected better. I remember a moment in specific that made me feel like shit, I cried for hours after that. In that moment I was going through a really hard time and attempted suicide, a couple of days later he came to see me, I was broken, I needed someone to talk, but all he did was talk about him and his problems and ignored completely what just had happened to me days ago, then he asked me for a kiss and I said no because I was so sad, but then he acted hurt because I wasn't being a "supportive" girlfriend, then again he made me feel guilty so I ended up complying to him. I'm glad I dumped his ass, but three years after the brake up he keeps calling my sister (because he doesn't has my number) to tell her that I'm the love of his life, that I'll always be, but he doesn't love, at least not my real self, he loves the idea he has of me. I really relate to Summer, specially in that scene when she starts to cry after watching the movie, and all Tom can think of is about himself, ignoring completely the fact that Summer was crying and the reasons behind it.
He actually asks her what's going on, and wether its the movie. Summer doesn't want to touch the subject though. I agree that Tom is quite the egotist throughout the rest of the film, but, would things have been different if he weren't? I don't know, nobody knows. That's why a "500 days of Tom" would be great, we could see her opinion on the subject. Sorry to hear from your past experience, sadly sometimes people don't learn like Tom did here. I have experienced Tom's side, but it wasn't as extreme as your example. In my case I had a pretty similar relationship with a girl (I'd like to think I wasn't as self-centered as Tom), I think I never "loved" anyone so intensely. We met each other when we started university, and it only took me one month to completely fall in "love" with her, but she was going through a break-up and all I could be for her was a friend whom she really fancied. But in the end I couldn't stand the uncertainty of being in love with a "friend", and she made things easy for me by distancing herself. I also wanted her to be happy, and still do, many years after. Time proved that I had fallen for the "idea" of her, there were many things I didn't know, and despite we "clicked" really well, even when we met years later, and we liked the "same bizarro crap", she definitely wasn't "the one" (if such a thing exists), or, better said, we weren't really compatible. But you know what? I wouldn't want to forget those memories for anything in the world, because I think we were perfect for each other at that moment of our lives, when we needed to learn the most about all these things, and no one else could teach them better. It was a "coming of age" relationship for me, full of great¬-so-great moments, but the latter ones really (and painfully) helped me grow as a person, and brought along many good things eventually, making those 3 years the best ones of my life...
