How a Doctor Deals with Death 

You better say it louder for the people in the back ! AMEN SISTER! You are a great example of a good doctor. I unfortunately lost both my parents before graduating HS. Both my Parents knew the Lord and taught me some great life lessons before they made their exit. For 20 years I wondered if God was so good, why would he take my parents away? I kept this chip on my shoulder through my B.S. and into my professional life (which had nothing to do with what I went to school for). It was not until the Pandemic and having to witness many of my closest friends lose their foundation, their parents. An experience I knew all too well. At this point I my brother and sister both passed years apart. All that to say, I was able to help many in their time of need. Walking them through that experience and being able to show them unconditional love and support. And I did it as an obligation to God as He has pulled me through some high tides and lowest of valleys. I have learned through all these experiences that we do not find the good fruits at the peaks of high mountains. rather , we find them in the low valleys. Life is similar to that. While we are in our valleys , we must collect our fruits. Losing my parents was terrible but the fruit in that is today I am in school to become a Neuro/Palliative Care Physician. I often tell people that if life was not hard here and there, how would we tell others about HIS goodness? Thank you again, your videos make a difference.

Hi Dr. Alirod, I can understand the point of feeling numb to death. I experienced a lot of death in my life of 29 years . But one of the ones that really traumatized me was loosing my Step mom, she was a strong mother figure to me at age 13. A best friend to me. And she passed away going though childbirth. Her uterus ruptured during VBAC. Definitely heartbreaking and so traumatizing. . I was in shock. And definitely felt I had to be strong for my newborn baby sister, and toddler brother who was just 2 years old, and my 5 year old step sister. I stepped up to help care for my siblings. But ever since after then , now a mother my self to 3 little ones, I become numb in order to be able to care for my children . And continue on with life. I lost my grandmother and God mother this past year. So I can relate . You are strong and amazing for sharing in this video🤍

I know a friend who lost their child at birth. I thought of her when you were sharing this video. You are so inspiring, Dr Ali. John 3:16 ❤️

I had 5 miscarriages. We went to the best OB in Boston because of my history of miscarriage. The tech did the US and walked out. The doctor walked in and all she said was your baby is dead and walked out! How cold and uncaring! My husband chased her out in the hallway and told her she had no business treating me that way. No response. I don't know if she had to shut off her emotions or what. But I have also seen very kind doctors. That experience will forever be seared in my brain.

This needed to be said and so glad you did. Sometimes we forget doctors are human too. Thank you for sharing ❤️

Thanks for making this video! I’ve dealt with A LOT of death in my 28th s of life and I know that I’ll deal with it once I get into this field, but also helping to bring life into this world is what drew me to the field in the first place ❤

I can see why you would cry. They depend on you as a doctor to save those lives & makes everything ok and when you can’t you feel like you’ve failed.

Thank you so much for this video. I'm a 4th year on trauma rotation, I had no clue how to deal with losing my patient. I was on chest compressions for a pulseless vtach, praying for anything some kind of miracle would happen. Eventually we did all there was to do and time of death was called. There was that moment of silence followed by everyone going back to all of the other patients in ED and preparing for the next trauma rolling in. There wasnt anything to really prepare me for the looking the patient in the lifeless eyes and then had to bounce to the next room. This really helped me to put it in perspective and deal with it going forward.

I lost our last baby (pregnancy loss), my husband, my mother and one of my two best friends within 18 months. My other best friend is fighting aggressive breast cancer. Losing my husband suddenly shattered me most. I know he is now with our 3 lost babies, including our stillborn son, our 2nd child who is his namesake, but I'll never be ok after losing him. Widows I've found have a dark sense of humor about death as well.

Hi Dr. Alirod First I would like to thank you for your many videos. They have been so helpful and informative to me. Late in the month of September of 2019 I lost my wife of 42 years. She was rushed to the hospital on a Monday morning and by the following Sunday afternoon she passed away. The doctors and nurses did an excellent job in keeping her as comfortable as possible. A mri on that Tuesday showed that she had developed a blood clot that blocked a major artery in her lower abdomen. It caused a loss of blood flow to a good portion of her large intestine and bowel. I spent the entire week in the hospital by her side but I don’t know if it was denial on my part or what but I thought she would get better soon and eventually come home. As the week progressed and doctors came in to talk to me about her condition I was told that if surgery was done to remove the clot she may not survive and if she did she would have a high probability of being in some type of a vegetative state. During the course of our marriage we had discussed what we each would have wanted the other to do. We both said that we would not want to be kept on life support. So when faced with the grim options with surgery I decided to let my wife pass away knowing that is what she would have wanted. It was a heartbreaking decision for me but the only one I had left. The chief surgeon talked to me on the Sunday that she died and told me that as difficult a decision as it was that I made, from all the information he had seen he felt that it was the only one. He said that was at peace over the discussion that my wife and I had years ago and I should be as well. The only thing that bothers me is that I didn’t seem to want to face her death and I was never told this directly by any of her doctors or clergy. I just seemed to eventually come to that realization as the week progressed. Long story short , I just feel that there could have been more communication from all the doctors with me about the possible death of my wife. That’s where this video of yours helped me. Thank you so much.

I lost my mum when I was barely 18. My sister was almost wailing. I remember having to hold her for like ten minutes. I also remember crying as I carried her coffin out

I recently lost my baby due to stillbirth. It was the hardest day of my life giving birth but my midwife was amazing and really helpful throughout the whole experience.

Hi Dr Alirod The one moment of my wife’s passing that I left out was when she took her last breath. I never cried or screamed so hard in my life. My heart and soul were ripped from me at that moment. I think that if I had been told that she was dying as a result of her clot and subsequent complications I would have been better prepared to face it. Thank you for understanding.

It must take a lot of self coaching to have to keep it cool and continue working “normal” after loosing a patient.

Hi Dr. Ali Rod, You are doing smart as a professional, how would inspire the future doctors who are studying medical science??

My first pregnancy I lost my daughter at 20 weeks due to incompetent cervix and with my second I had a cerclage at the hospital and c section and both times I went the Anesthesiologist knew exactly who I was!

Having a lot of friends who are in doctors training I can confidently say that you should be trained in uni how to deal with it. In Poland students are overloaded with unpractical medical knowledge (tons of doctors agree), but are not taught practical stuff. Not even mentioning there’s no psychological help. Im glad you did this video. You are like a breeze that I hope one day will reach Poland. Listening about from doctors perspective that I’m not emotionally tied to is really good. You seen to have very good coping mechanisms. I get so much knowledge and comfort from your videos- thank you ♥️ Also, when are you getting board certification? ☺️

Posting this the day before I come in to talk to you about getting surgery is a little unnerving haha but if i do die i hope you think of me every time you eat doritos as i said you are amazing i am glad you found a way to cope i am not emotionally strong enough to do what you do (or smart enough for that matter) thank you for sharing and being so vulnerable

Thank you for this. I want to become an OB/GYN someday and I've been wondering how I would deal with these situations. I don't know if you'll see this, but I'm just wondering if you're pro-life or pro-abortion? Just curious.

You are so tempting